ﾔｰﾔｰ 大ﾏｼﾞﾈｰ｡
(新八)それ ﾏｼﾞですか？
毎度ありﾈｰ｡
なんか どっかで 見たことある人形だな…｡
卵焼きが…｡ たま？
なんだっけ… あれ？
なんでも 願いかなうﾈｰ｡
(ﾗｽﾀ天人)ｳｨﾗｰ星の まじない人形ﾈｰ｡
卵焼きがうまく焼けますように｡
にいさん どんな願いをかけるﾈｰ？
あの…｡ ﾗﾝﾅｳｪｲ｡
願いをかけて 相手に贈るのもありﾈｰ｡
まじない人形なのに なんで ここに宇宙怪獣って…｡
♪♪～
Lucky charm dolls from Planet Wheeler.
They make any wishes come true.
You can make the wish and give it as a gift too!
Is that for real?
Yeah, yeah, it's so for real. What's your wish, young man?
Tamagoyaki...
Tama?
I wish she'd get better at making tamagoyaki.
[Space Monster - Stefan]
Thanks, man!
This doll looks awfully familiar... What was it?
Huh?
[Space Monster]
[Stefan]
Why does a lucky charm doll have a "Space monster" tag?
Excuse me...?
Run away!
[At the Rasta Amanto's street stall, Shinpachi buys a lucky charm doll said to grant wishes.]
[Will Shinpachi's wish ever come true? And what is "Space Monster Stefan"?]
[Kodokan Dojo]
Sis, I'm home!
姉上！
ただいま！
Oh, well. You have to believe in stuff like this first.
まぁ いいや…｡ こういうのは 信じてﾅﾝﾎﾞだし｡
万一 何かの奇跡が起こって➡
Maybe a miracle will occur and my sister's omelet will be much better.
ﾎﾝﾄに姉上の卵焼きが みごとに 焼き上がるかもしれないし｡
ﾀﾞﾏされたんじゃないぞ…｡
It's not like I was cheated...
ﾎﾞﾗれたんじゃないぞ～！
It's not like I got ripped off!
はぁ～｡
姉上 ただいま！
Sis, I'm home.
…姉上？
Sis? Oh?
あれ いないのかな？
Is she out?
(お妙)おらあぁ～!!
うあぁ～!! 死ねぇ～！
Die!
うわあぁっ！
Wh-What are you doing, Sis?!
なっ ななな… なにするんですか 姉上！
実の弟を殺す気ですか!?
Are you trying to kill your brother?
なんだ 新八か｡
Oh, it's you, Shinpachi.
Oh, no! Stefan!
あぁ～っ！ ｽﾃﾌｧﾝが!! ｽﾃﾌｧﾝのどてっ腹に 穴がぁ！
There's a hole in Stefan's stomach!
こんなときに 帰ってくんじゃねえよ｡
Don't come back at a time like this. It's confusing.
紛らわしい｡
D-Don't come back?! How can you say that to your dearly beloved brother?!
帰ってくんじゃねえよ って…➡
かわいい実の弟に向かって なに言ってんですか！
ったく… こちとら お前が出かけている間➡
Look, I had a lot of trouble while you were away.
大変だったっつうのによぉ… ﾍﾟｯ！
完全に ｷｬﾗ変わってますよ 姉上｡
Your character has totally changed, Sis.
なにがあったんですか!?
Wh-What happened to you?
なにがあったか… だとぉ!?
What happened to me?
うおぉ！ 今 思い出しても むかつくぜぇ！
Just thinking about it pisses me off!
ぎゃあぁあ！ ｽﾃﾌｧﾝ!!
No! Stefan!
…つか それって 今回の伏線じゃなかったの!?
Wait,wasn't it a key part of today's story?!
["Oh, Yeah! Our Crib Is Number One!"]
[Restaurant Battle Royal Host]
Huh? A panty thief?
(銀時)あぁ？ 下着泥棒だぁ？
そうなんすよ…｡
That's right.
A chocolate sundae?
She got hit twice during the days I stayed over at your place.
ﾎﾞｸが万事屋に 泊まり込んだ日に ２回もやられたらしくて｡
That's mine.
The hamburger steak, spaghetti Neapolitan and the sandwich are mine.
なんとかならないすかね｡
Can't we do anything about it?
あぁ？ 何が なんとかならないんだっけ？
Huh? Can't we do anything about what?
だから 下着泥棒ですよ！
About the panty thief!
Huh? A panty thief?
あぁ？ 下着泥棒だぁ？
そうなんすよ｡ ﾎﾞｸが 万事屋に泊まり込んだ日に➡
That's right.
She got hit twice during the days I stayed over at your place.
２回も やられたらしくて｡ なんとかならないすかね？
Can't we do anything about it?
あぁ？ 何が なんとかならないんだっけ？
Huh? Can't we do anything about what?
だから 下着泥棒ですよ 下着泥棒！
I keep telling you! The panty thief! The panty thief!
Right, a panty thief.
あぁ 下着泥棒な｡
This guy heard what I said!
ちゃんと 聞いてんじゃねえかよ この人は…｡
昔の人はよぉ 着物の下は ﾉｰﾊﾟﾝだったらしいぜ｡
They say in the old days, women didn't wear panties under their kimonos.
町娘とか ｷﾞｬﾙとか 女の子とか お姫様も全員！
Young ladies, gals, girls, princesses, all of them!
いや… それ全部 同じですから｡
Uh... You're referring to a single age group.
どうせ言うなら おばあちゃんも➡
You're supposed to say grannies, women, and girls.
おばちゃんも 女の子も ですよ｡
You fool!
ﾊﾞｶ野郎！ ﾊﾟﾝﾂとかﾊﾟﾝﾃｨｰとかﾉｰﾊﾟﾝとか➡
When you talk about underpants, panties, and no panties,
ﾊﾟﾝ絡みの話題に 当てはめていいのは➡
it can only refer to young girls!
女の子だけだ！ (神楽)あぁ ﾊﾟﾝﾃｨｰとか言うのは➡
Say, only old guys say panties.
おっさんだけね｡ えっ ｳｿ!?
What? For real?!
ｽｷｬﾝﾃｨｰ とかもﾀﾞﾒだな｡
Then scanties are also no good.
そんなの 今どき 言いませんよ｡
Nobody says that these days.
いかんのは あれだね… Ｔﾊﾞｯｸ｡
The one I can't stand are thongs.
あれは 女の子から 恥じらいを奪い➡
It took away girls' modesty and the pleasure from men.
男から 楽しみを奪ったね｡
I'm wearing a G-string right now.
(神楽)ｱﾀｼ 今 紐ﾊﾟﾝｱﾙ｡
えぇっ!? ｳｿつけ ｳｿを！
You're lying! Liar!
I'm not. I've been wearing it for years.
ｳｿじゃないね｡ 何年もはき続けて すり切れて➡
もう 紐しか残ってないﾊﾟﾝﾂね｡
It's so worn out, only the strings are left.
どんなﾊﾟﾝﾂですか…｡
What kind of panties are those?!
In a way, it's vintage panties.
ある意味 ﾋﾞﾝﾃｰｼﾞﾊﾟﾝﾂｱﾙ｡
一銭の価値もねえな｡ 捨てちまえ｡
It's worthless, not even worth a cent. Just dump it.
そもそも 昔の人は 身につけてなかった｡
Anyway, women in the old days didn't put on underwear, didn't even wear them.
はいてなかった｡
Wow. Just thinking about it...
ﾉｰｶﾞｰﾄﾞ戦法だったって 話なんだから… ﾍﾍｯ｡
お姫様なのに 着物の下は もう 暴れん坊将軍だよ！
Even though you're a princess, under that kimono...you're a wildcat.
また そのｷﾞｬｯﾌﾟがいいんだよな｡
That's kinda hot. Kinda like...she has this calm demeanor but-
おしとやかな顔して 実は将軍かい？
矢吹ｼﾞｮｰかい？ みたいな…｡
Whoa, look out!-secretly she's a wildcat, right?
ﾃﾒｴのﾉｰﾊﾟﾝ談義は どうでもいいんだよ｡
Now is not the time for your weird fantasies and no panties lectures.
こちとら お気に入りの勝負ﾊﾟﾝﾂ 盗られてんだぞ ｺﾗ｡
The thief stole my lucky panties, damn it!
勝負ﾊﾟﾝﾂって おねえさん 誰かと決闘でもするんですかい？
Lucky panties? Are you planning on going to Vegas, sister?
あたぼうよ｡ 時と場合によっちゃ 無制限一本勝負だ ｺﾗ｡
Hell yeah! And it's gonna be a high roller night, fool!
なめんなよ｡ そんで 何が望みだ？
Don't underestimate me.
So, what do you want?
決闘に必要だから 取り戻してえのか？
You want it back for your gambling run? Or would simply getting it back satisfy you?
戻ってくれば 気がすむのか？
ﾊﾟﾝﾂを取り戻したうえで➡
I want my panties back... And then I want to slowly break every bone in the thief's body.
ﾊﾟﾝﾂ盗んだﾔﾂを 血祭りにあげたい｡ 姉上…｡
Sis?
もう発言が ﾊﾟﾝﾂをはく 現代人の発言じゃねえよ｡
That's not what a civilized, panties-wearing person would say.
２～３万年前の 裸で槍持って➡
It's more of a naked-jungle-warrior type of statement.
野を駆ける人の発言だよ｡
A panty thief is the enemy of all women, uh-huh!
(神楽)下着ﾄﾞﾛなんて 女の敵ｱﾙ｡
ｱﾈｺﾞ！ 私も一肌 脱ぎますぜ！
Big sis, I'm with you on this one!
まぁ 神楽ちゃん… よし よく言った！
Oh, Kagura-chan!
Well said, my sistah!
Come! Let's pledge our sisterhood with a drink.
(お妙)ついてこい｡ 兄弟の盃を交わすぜ｡
(神楽)押忍！ 待て待て！
Osu!
Wait! Wait! Someone will die! You two are way too dangerous!
死人が出るよ｡ ｷﾐら２人は やばいって！
まずいよ… 最凶ｺﾝﾋﾞが ﾕﾆｯﾄ組んじゃったよ｡
This is bad! The deadliest combatants in the world have joined forces.
ほっとけよ｡ ﾎｼの目星は もうついてるだろ｡
Forget about it.
We already know who the culprit is, right?
Huh? Who could it be...?
えっ いったい 誰…｡
(近藤)あれ ﾊﾞﾚた？
Huh? Am I caught? Nah! But maybe I am? Whoa, I really am caught?!
まさか… でも やっぱ ﾊﾞﾚた？
うわ ﾎﾝﾄにﾊﾞﾚてる！
What?! Are you suspecting me, you bastards?!
なんだあぁ！ まさか➡
ｵﾚを疑ってるのか ｷｻﾏらぁ！ (衝撃音)
いたっ…｡
There's no way a samurai would do something so vile and low as stealing panties.
侍が 下着泥棒なんて➡
卑劣な真似するわけ ねえだろうがよ！
There's no way a samurai would stalk a teenage girl either.
侍がｽﾄｰｶｰなんて するわけねえだろうが｡
ｽﾄｰｶｰはしても 下着ﾄﾞﾛなどするか！
I may be a stalker, but I would never steal panties! I'll sue you!
訴えるぞ ｷｻﾏ！ 訴えられるのは ﾃﾒｴだ！
You're the one who's gonna get sued!
これで真選組 解体かぁ？
So this is it for the Shinsengumi, eh?
いやぁ めでてえなぁ｡
What a joyous occasion!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Look at this!
待て待て 待て！ これを見ろ これを！
What's this?
なんすか これ？ ｢またも出没 怪盗ふんどし仮面｣｡
"Masked Loincloth Bandit Strikes Again."
(近藤)最近 巷を騒がしている ｺｿﾄﾞﾛだ｡
He's the petty thief that's been terrorizing the city recently.
その名のとおり 風体も異様なﾔﾂでな｡
As the name suggests, his costume is weird.
He wraps a red loincloth around his face...
(近藤)真っ赤なふんどしを 頭にかぶり➡
ﾌﾞﾘｰﾌ一丁で 闇を駆け➡
And runs through the darkness in his briefs...
きれいな娘の下着ばかりを かっさらい➡
Only stealing pretty girls' panties...
それを もてない男たちに ﾊﾞﾗまくという 奇妙なﾔﾂさ｡
And tosses them to guys who can't get dates. A weird sicko.
(ふんどし仮面の笑い声)
What is that? Some perverted version of Robin Hood?
なんですか？ それ｡ ねずみ小僧の ﾊﾟﾝﾂﾊﾞｰｼﾞｮﾝ？
そうか… このﾊﾟﾝﾂには そういう事情が…｡
I see...
So that's the story behind these panties.
ｵﾚは てっきり ｻﾝﾀさんのﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄかと…｡
I thought it was a present from Santa.
ｱﾝﾀ もらってんのかい！
You've got one?!
And you thought it was from Santa?!
しかも ｻﾝﾀさんって おもいきり 時期はずれじゃないすか！
It's totally out of season!
うっせえな！ かぶき町のｻﾝﾀさんは➡
Shut up! Kabukicho's Santa works 24/7 year-round!
年中無休なんだよ！ ﾌﾊﾊﾊﾊ！
That means the thief thinks you're a loser who can't get girls. How pathetic!
そりゃ お前 もてない男と みなされた証拠だよ！
哀れだなぁ！ お～い 見えてるぞ｡
Check out your own kimono, pal! Looks like Santa perv paid you a visit too!
懐から もてない 男の勲章がこぼれ出てるぞ｡
かっ！ これは ふんどし仮面の ほどこしﾊﾟﾝﾂじゃねえぞ！
Th-This isn't a charity panty from the Masked Loincloth!
だったら もっとまずいだろ…｡
That makes it worse, doesn't it?
えっ あっ えっ あれ…？
What?! Oh?!
So you're saying the same guy stole Otae's panties?
とどのつまり お妙の下着 かっぱらったのも➡
ｺｲﾂのしわざだと…？
Precisely!
そう！ それ!!
Every girl in Edo has been the victim of this panty thief.
いまや 江戸中の娘たちが 被害にあっている｡
しかし 民衆… 特に ﾓﾃない男に なまじ 人気があるため➡
But due to his public popularity, especially from nerdy men,
the police are having a hard time capturing him.
同心連中も捕まえるのに なかなか 苦労してるようだ｡
So the pervert thinks he's a benevolent thief?
ただの変態のくせに いっぱしの義賊気取りか！
I can't stand it... I can't stand it one bit!
気に食わねえ！ 気に食わねえぜ!! なんで ｵﾚが➡
How the hell does he know I can't get a girl?!
ﾓﾃねえの知ってんだ～!! (近藤/新八)あぁ～っ ﾊﾟﾝﾂ～!!
No! The panties!
(ﾆﾜﾄﾘの鳴き声)
第35回 ﾁｷﾁｷふんどし仮面を つかまえろ 大作戦!!
The 35th...
[Tiki Tiki Mission: Capture the Masked Loincloth!]
Tiki Tiki Mission: Capture the Masked Loincloth!
(歓声)
Yeah!
第35回って…｡
35th...?
さぁ そういうわけで 実行委員長の 近藤 勲さんより➡
Now a word from the committee chief executive, Mr. Isao Kondo.
ご挨拶をいただきま～す｡
Ahem! The Shinsengumi exists to keep peace in this city.
え～ 真選組は 町の平和を守るためにある｡
What is peace?!
平和とは なんだ～!!
It's the right to live safely!
人々が 安心して住めること！
幸せに過ごせること！
For people to live in happiness.
The small happiness of each person will create peace for the whole city.
(近藤)一人ひとりの小さな幸せが 町全体の平和をつくるのだ！
であれば 新八君！
Therefore, Shinpachi-kun.
Protecting your sister's panties is also our mission.
(近藤)姉上のﾊﾟﾝﾂを守ることも 真選組の使命なのだよ｡
(沖田)いや～ ｳﾁの局長は 底の浅い言い訳させたら➡
Boy, when it comes to making stupid excuses, our commander is the best.
天下一品ですね｡ お～い!!
Hey!
っていうか なんで 真選組まで いるんですか？
By the way, what is the Shinsengumi doing here?
復讐でさぁ｡ ねっ 土方さん｡
For revenge...
Right, Hijikata-san?
What an idiot to give Hijikata-san charity panties.
(沖田)土方さんに ほどこしﾊﾟﾝﾂを贈るたぁ➡
ﾊﾞｶなことするﾔﾂがいたもんだ｡
(土方)許さねえ！
No mercy!
目が ﾏｼﾞだよ この人…！
His eyes are totally serious!
ﾄﾞｷｯ！ 女だらけの ふんどし仮面を つかまえろ 大作戦!!
Buh-Bump! Mission: Capture Masked Loincloth using full of women.
[Buh-Bump! Mission: Capture Masked Loincloth using full of women.]
Yeah!
(歓声)
What do you mean by "full of women"?!
なに！ 女だらけって！
さっ 仕切り直しってことで｡
Well, let's get started again.
今回 志村 妙さんの 全面協力のもと➡
This time, we've decided to use a decoy operation with the full cooperation of Miss Tae Shimura.
ｵﾄﾘ作戦を とることにしました～｡
ｵﾄﾘ？ あっ…｡
Decoy operation?
Oh!
(近藤たち)おぉ～っ！
I'll offer my lucky panties. It'll knock you out like Mickey Rourke's Cat Punch.
勝負ﾊﾟﾝﾂを 提供するわ｡
強さでいうと ﾐｯｷｰ･ﾛｰｸの猫ﾊﾟﾝﾁ｡
猫ﾊﾟﾝﾁ!!
Cat Punch!
Hold on! That's too hardcore!
ちょ 待てよ｡ それ ｺｱすぎ！ 一般男子は ついてこれないから｡
Normal boys can't handle it. They'll run their ass off.
引くから～！ う～ん…｡
Then... How about this?
(お妙)じゃあ これは？ (近藤たち)おぉ～っ！
Oh...
Packs the same punch that knocked Akebono down.
いうなれば 曙の倒れ込み並み？
Knocked...
倒れ込み…｡
No! No! No! That's way too maniacal!
いやいや いや｡ ﾏﾆｱすぎだから｡
Guys... Think a bit more about the brother who has to see his sister's panties over and over again, will ya?
つか 姉のﾊﾟﾝﾂを 何枚も見るﾊﾒになる➡
弟の気分にもなってくださいよ｡
It's worse than watching a love scene on TV with your whole family.
ﾄﾞﾗﾏのﾗﾌﾞｼｰﾝ 家族で見るより いたたまれないっすよ｡
And that's how a boy climbs up the ladder to adulthood.
(神楽)こうやって 少年は 大人の階段をのぼっていくｱﾙね｡
そこ！ 安易に まとめない！
You there! Don't summarize it so easily!
Watching your sister's panties is nothing!
姉のﾊﾟﾝﾂくらい どうってことありませんやね｡
土方さんなんか ｵﾔｼﾞのﾌﾞﾗｼﾞｬｰ姿 見たことあるくらいでさぁ｡
Hijikata-san saw his father wearing a bra.
なるほど｡ そのときのｼｮｯｸで 瞳孔 開きっぱなしなんだな｡
I see. It was so shocking that his pupils are still wide open to this day.
なるわけねえだろ！
Like hell they are!
(銀時たち)うわぁ～っ!!
I'm risking my life and my panties here!
こちとら 命とﾊﾟﾝﾂ かけてんだよ｡
ｺﾞﾁｬｺﾞﾁｬもめてる暇があったら 働け ﾎﾞｹ～!!
Stop messing around and get to work, you idiots!
(銀時たち)は… はい…｡
Y-Yes, ma'am.
ｱﾈｺﾞ かっこいいｱﾙ～！
Big sis, you're so cool!
いいか！
Listen up!
相手は ﾊﾟﾝﾂの量 枚数より➡
He is a genuine pervert who prefers quality over quantity when it comes to girls' panties.
娘の質を求めている 真性の変態だ！ だから また➡
Therefore he'll definitely sneak in here again.
必ず ここに忍び込んでくる｡ そこを たたく！
And that's when we capture him.
ふんどし仮面だか ﾊﾟﾝﾃｨｰﾏｽｸだか 知らねえが➡
I don't care if he's the Mask Loincloth or Masked Panty thief,
乙女の純情と 男の誇りを 踏みにじった その所業！
we cannot forgive the way he tramples over a girl's innocence and a man's pride.
まったくもって 許し難し！
新規開店 もとい 心機一転 一撃必殺！
All pumped up and ready to kick some ass, we'll bring him down with a single blow!
白ﾌﾞﾘｰﾌを 鮮血に染め上げてやるぞ！
We'll stain his white briefs red with his own blood!
(近藤たち)おぉ～っ!!
Yeah!
♪♪～
はぁ～ わたぁ～っ!!
(お妙)ふんっ!!
すみませ～ん！
Excuse me?!
下着泥棒くらいで ちょっと 殺気立ちすぎじゃないですか～！
Aren't you all becoming a bit too psychotic over a panty thief?
っていうか もはや 真選組 いらないんじゃないの？
I mean...Do we really need the Shinsengumi for this?
何を言うか！ ｵﾚだって…！
What are you saying?! Even I can...
ぬぉ～っ… てやぁ～っ!!
あぁ～ いたたたた…!!
Ouch!
(沖田)まぁまぁ｡ こんなこともあろうかと➡
Now, now...
I thought something like this would happen,
ｺｲﾂを お城の倉庫から 持ってきやしたぜ｡
so I brought these from the warehouse in the castle.
何ですか？ これ｡
What's this?
How should I put it?
(沖田)なんていうか… 地雷みたいな…｡
Something like...land mines?
Not "something like"! That's exactly what it is!
みたいな じゃなくて そのもの ｽﾞﾊﾞﾘでしょうが！
持ち出すの 結構 苦労したんですぜ｡
I had a hard time sneaking them out under strict supervision.
管理 厳しいんでね｡
"Takes a thief to catch a thief", eh?
蛇の道は ﾍﾋﾞだな…｡ そんな あっさり…！
Just like that?!
(沖田)これを 庭いちめんに敷き詰めれば➡
Place these mines in the surrounding area,
このﾎﾞﾛ道場も 完全無敵 堅牢無比な➡
and this old dojo will become an invincible and secure fort.
立派な要塞になりまさぁ｡
It can stay as an old dojo!
ﾎﾞﾛ道場のままでいいわ！ つか 違法でしょうが！
It's illegal! It's totally against the Geneva Convention!
おもいっきり ｼﾞｭﾈｰﾌﾞ条約に 違反してますよ！
That's that. We have our own rules.
よそは よそ｡ ｳﾁはｳﾁ｡
Don't talk like some mom would!
そんな おかんﾙｰﾙ もち出されても…！
地雷つったら 兵器ですよ！ 戦争ですよ!!
A land mine is a weapon of war!
違う｡ えっ？
No, it's not.
The official name is "Something like...a land mine."
正式名称 地雷… みたいな？
You're kidding me!
ｳｯｿ～！ (お妙)新ちゃん｡
Shin-chan.
This is a battlefield. If you're scared, go home, little girl.
あなたが言ったとおり ここは もう戦場なのよ｡
遊び気分なら 帰りなさい｡
But, sis... This is my home.
姉上 ここが ﾎﾞｸの帰るところなんですけど…｡
It takes a real samurai to embrace the battlefield as their home.
戦場が帰るところとは よく言った！
えっ!? いや～ そういう意味じゃなくて｡
Well, that's not exactly what I meant.
Accusing someone as suspicious and killing them without argument.
不逞の輩と難癖つけて 問答無用で たたき斬る！
久しぶりだ～｡
I haven't done this for a long time.
Huh? Huh? Accuse?
えっ!? え～っ!? 難癖って… うわ～っ！
Whoa!
いいえ｡ どうせなら 差し貫くのほうが…｡
No...We might as well pierce through them.
Pounding them is much better than that...
もっといいのは すりつぶす だな｡
How about we tear them up and pluck them out?
かきむしり ひきちぎるは？
ねじ折り たたきつぶして 丸めて茹でる！
Twisting, breaking, rolling and boiling?
Hey, hey! You two are scaring us!
お～～い!! ｱﾝﾀら 怖いよ！
Ouch...
あいたたたた…｡ 腰に くるねぇ…｡
My back hurts.
It's not like working on a farm!
畑仕事じゃないから！
It's the most dangerous construction work in the world!
世界でいちばん危険な 土木作業だから!!
(神楽)ほいほい…！
Quit being annoying, Yamazaki!
(土方)うっとうしいわ 山崎！
(蚊の羽音)
さっきから なんで ｵﾚばっか…｡
How come I always get...
It's because your blood is so sweet.
銀ちゃんの血は 甘いｱﾙね｡ 糖か…｡
My blood sugar level...?
銀さんの血糖濃度は どうでもいいんで｡
We don't care about your blood glucose...
I don't see any signs of the thief appearing.
それより 全然 泥棒 来る様子がないんですけど…｡
これ ひょっとして 今日 来ないんじゃないですか？
Perhaps he won't come at all. I mean, not only today, but never!
いや 今日だけじゃなくて むしろ 永遠に…｡
大丈夫だよ｡ 来るって｡
Don't worry, he'll come.
いや だから 何を根拠に 来るって言ってるんですか？
What's your reasoning for that?
Look at those panties just hanging out in the open like that.
あんな これ見よがしに ﾊﾟﾝﾂが ぶら下がってるｱﾙ｡
What panty thief could resist it?!
下着泥棒が ほっとくわけないよ～｡
But it's too obvious! You can tell it's a trap!
いやいや あからさますぎるよ｡ なんか 罠 まる出しだし｡
Shin-chan.
(お妙)新ちゃん｡ 泥棒というのは➡
The more difficult the task, the more encouraged the thief gets.
目的までの障害が 困難であればあるほど➡
燃えるものなのよ｡ なに勝手に ｷｬﾗ設定してんの｡
How the heck would you know?!
気の小さい泥棒だったら どうするんですか！
What if he's a wussy thief?
もう 誰でも いいんじゃねえですか？
I don't care who the thief is. Let's just grab someone and say he's the thief.
この際 手近なﾔﾂで 済ませやしょうぜ｡
If we can agree on a story, it'll work.
口裏 合わせりゃ ﾊﾞﾚねえか｡
Someone as in who?! Agreeing on what?!
手近って なに!? 口裏って なに!?
Hey, stop yelling.
おいおい でけえ声 出すんじゃねえよ｡
泥棒にﾊﾞﾚたら ｵｼｬｶだぞ｡
If the crook hears you, it'll ruin the surprise.
ｱﾝﾀを ｵｼｬｶにしたいよ｡ このｸｿ暑いのによ！
What's ruined is your brains! And it's freakin' hot, damn it!
What did you say, you bastard?!
なんだと この野郎！
How 'bout I ventilate your face!
ｺﾝﾀｸﾄにしてやろうか！ いつまでも ｵﾚが➡
Hey, don't push me. It's too hot!
If you think I'm gonna even let you, then you're wrong!
ﾒｶﾞﾈ君だと思ったら 大間違いだ この野郎！
Should we help them out?
手を 貸しやしょうか？
When you fight, give it your all.
ｹﾝｶは 徹底的にやれよ｡
Go until your opponent can't stand up.
相手が 二度と 立ち上がれなくなるまでな｡
My fist wants to fight too!
ｱﾀｼのｺﾌﾞｼも 暴れたがってるね！
Somebody! Let my fists taste your blood!
誰か ｵﾚのｺﾌﾞｼに 血を吸わせてやってほしいｱﾙ！
Hey, stop! No fighting!
あ～ もう やめて やめて｡ ｹﾝｶしない！
ふぅ… 暑いから みんな ｲﾗｲﾗしてんだろ｡
You guys are just getting testy because of the heat.
よし ちょっと休憩｡ 黙れよ ﾀﾞﾆﾋｹﾞ｡
All right, let's take a break.
Shut up, mite beards!
(お妙)黙れよ ｹﾂ毛｡ (神楽)黙れよ 絡まり君｡
Shut up, ass hair!
Shut up, Mr. Tangle.
Shut up, miso bread.
(土方)黙れよ みそﾊﾟﾝ｡ (沖田)黙れよ ｺﾞﾘ｡
Shut up, Gorilla.
暑さのせいだよね｡ 暑いのが いけないんだよね｡
It's just the heat, right? That's gotta be it.
Oh, why don't I get something cold? It'll help calm everyone down.
そうだ… なんか冷たいもの 買ってくるよ｡
そしたら 少しは みんな 落ち着くんじゃないかな？
Azuki bean ice cream!
(神楽)あずきｱｲｽ！ なんか ﾊﾟﾌｪ的なもの！
Something sundae-like!
(お妙)ﾊﾞｰｹﾞﾝﾀﾞｯｼｭ･ｱｲｽ！ (沖田)ほやの酢のもの｡
Baagen-Daaz ice cream!
Seafood vinaigrette!
Beef bowl and tonjiru bento!
(土方) 牛丼豚汁弁当 ﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞ 500mlｻｲｽﾞﾎﾞﾄﾙ ｵﾌﾟｼｮﾝで！
With a 500 ml bottle of Mayonnaise on the side!
お… お茶｡ (近藤)はいはい｡
G-Green tea.
Alright, already. I'll get them, just chill out.
買ってくるから おとなしくしてなさいよ｡
ったく しようがないﾔﾂらだ｡ (地雷のｽｲｯﾁ音)
Good grief...
(爆発音)
Oh, Kondo-san blew up!
(お妙)あら 近藤さんが爆発したわ｡
Well, it was hot after all.
(神楽)あ～ 暑かったｱﾙよ｡ (土方)そりゃ 爆発もするな｡
I guess that would blow you away.
Yeah right! He stepped on his own land mine.
んなわけねえだろ｡
自分で仕掛けた地雷 踏んだんだよ｡
He didn't remember where he placed it, what an idiot!
どこに地雷あるか わかんないのに ﾊﾞｶだね～｡
(笑い声)
Uh... wait a sec, guys...
…あれ？ ちょっと待って｡
Don't tell me you all don't remember where you set up the land mines?
ひょっとして 地雷 どこに仕掛けたか➡
みんな 覚えてないの？
…大変だわ｡
Oh dear! The mailman will get blown to bits tomorrow morning.
明日 新聞配達のおじさんが 爆発するわ｡
Now isn't the time to say that!
言ってる場合ですか！ (笑い声)
あっ ｱｲﾂは！
Th-That man...
Where there's light, there is shadow.
(ふんどし仮面) 光あるところに 影がある｡
Where there's men, there is a baldie.
ひとつ 人より ﾊｹﾞがある｡
Pulled by the elastic bands of panties,
ﾊﾟﾝﾂのｺﾞﾑに導かれ 今宵も駆けよう 漢 浪漫道｡
Tonight, I run the path of men's dreams!
Masked Loincloth Bandit, at your service!
怪盗ふんどし仮面 ここに見参！
(ふんどし仮面)滑稽だ… 滑稽だよ お前ら｡
Hysterical! You guys are priceless!
It appears you've prepared a warm welcoming for me, but it's all in vain!
なんだか ｵﾚのために いろいろ 用意してくれたようだが➡
ﾑﾀﾞに終わったようだな｡
This sucks! He came at the worst possible moment!
最悪だぁ！ 最悪のﾀｲﾐﾝｸﾞで 出てきやがった～!!
こんな子供だましに ｵﾚが引っ掛かるとでも？
Did you really think I'd fall for such childish tricks?
You've underestimated the Masked Loincloth, the greatest bandit!
天下の義賊 ふんどし仮面も 見くびられたものよ｡
If you come up here, I'd fight you!
(ふんどし仮面)ここまで来れば 相手になってやるぞ｡ ん？
You can bite your fingernails and watch
(ふんどし仮面)そこで 指をくわえて 見ているがいい｡
己のﾊﾟﾝﾂが 変態 電波男 ﾁｪﾘｰﾎﾞｰｲ➡
as your panties are handed over to perverts, otakus, cherryboys, and delusional horny S.O.B.'s!
ｽｹﾍﾞﾉﾋﾞｯﾁ･ﾓｳｿｳｽｷｰたちの手に 渡る瞬間をな！
ｸｯ…！
(ふんどし仮面)ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！ いざ!!
Here I come!
こんなこともあろうかと… ってﾔﾂでさぁ｡
It's what you'd call, "taking extra measures".
♪♪～
Go, Yamazaki! Beat'em up!
お～ 山崎！ ぶちのめしたれ!!
You got it, Vice-commander!
(山崎) 合点でさぁ 副長！ …あれ？
(山崎)うわぁ～っ!!
Die!
(隊士たち)ひえぇ～っ!! (地雷のｽｲｯﾁ音)
(爆発音)
(むせる声)
何しに出てきたんだ ｱｲﾂは！
What the hell did he show up for?!
(ふんどし仮面)ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！ 愚かなり 真選組｡
Silly Shinsengumi. Tah!
とぉっ！ ほっ！
ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！ (地雷のｽｲｯﾁ音)
(爆発音)
床の下にも 地雷を ｾｯﾄしていたんですね｡
There was a land mine placed under the floor too, huh?
Yup, looks that way...
そうみたいだな｡ おっ… あれは！
Hey! That's...
(みんな)あっ！
(ふんどし仮面)ﾌﾌﾌﾌ… 甘いよ｡
You fools!
You can't defeat me with something like this.
こんなものじゃ ｵﾚは倒れない｡
Perverts, otakus, cherryboys, and delusional horny S.O.B.'s across the country await my return!
(ふんどし仮面)全国の変態 電波男 ﾁｪﾘｰﾎﾞｰｲ➡
ｽｹﾍﾞﾉﾋﾞｯﾁ･ﾓｳｿｳｽｷｰたちが ｵﾚの帰りを待っているんだ｡
彼らの声が ｵﾚに 力を与えてくれる｡
Their voices give me power!
お前たちには聞こえるか？ 彼らの声が｡
Can't you hear their voices?
(ふんどし仮面) ｢ふんどし仮面よ 頼む！
"Masked Loincloth, please! Give us hope!"
希望を分け与えてくれ！
"Rough nylon, smooth silk, fluffy cotton.
ﾅｲﾛﾝのｼｬｶｼｬｶ ｼﾙｸのﾂﾙﾂﾙ ｺｯﾄﾝのﾌﾜﾌﾜ… どれでもいい｡
Anything is fine! Just one pair of panties is enough for us to live another day."
ただ１枚のﾊﾟﾝﾂさえあれば 明日も生きられる｡
"Then we can stand tall and keep going!"
前を向いて 胸を張って 歩いていけるんだ！｣
Can you hear their silent cries?!
そう叫ぶ 彼らの声なき声が 聞こえるかぁ～っ!!
こんなところで 負けるわけにはいかん！
Failure is not an option!
ふんどし仮面の名誉にかけて➡
In the Masked Loincloth's honor, I will to return to them!
彼らのもとに 戻らねばならんのだ!!
Wait!
(近藤)待てぃ！
Keep your filthy paws off of Otae-san's panties!
汚え手で お妙さんのﾊﾟﾝﾂ 触るんじゃねえ！
ｵﾚだって触ったことねえんだぞ ﾁｸｼｮｰ！
I haven't even touched them yet, damn it!
Kuh, let me go! You gorilla with a butt-hair chin three seconds short of a man!
ｸｯ 離せ！ 離せっての!!
この ｱｺﾞに ｹﾂ毛はやした ｺﾞﾘﾗ３秒手前男!!
You think such descriptive abuse would make me flinch?!
(近藤)そんな説明くさい罵倒で ｵﾚが ひるむと思ってんのか！
万事屋～！ なにやってんだ 早くしろ！
Odd Jobs! What are you waiting for?! Hurry, I'll let you have this one!
今回は お前に譲ってやるよ！
言われなくても やってやるさ｡
No need to tell me.
Hold on tight to his hairy legs!
しっかり つかんどけよ ｿｲﾂの 毛むくじゃらの足をよ｡
うおぉ～～～っ!!
(地雷のｽｲｯﾁ音) …あ｡
(爆発音)
ﾉ～～～ｯ!!
あ… あ… ｷﾞｬｯ!!
(ふんどし仮面)ﾌﾌﾌ… ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！
最後に笑うのは やっぱり ｵﾚ！
It looks like I get the last laugh, after all!
♪♪～
女を…！
Never underestimate...
なにっ!?
What?!
ﾅﾒるんじゃねえ～っ!!
...a woman!
はぁっ!!
ぐわぁ～っ!!
♪♪～
素顔も さらせない人に 私のﾊﾟﾝﾂは やれないわ｡
There's no way I'll give my panties to someone who won't even show his face.
If you really want it, approach me directly, naked from head to toe.
欲しけりゃ 素っ裸で 正面から挑んできなさい｡
心まで ﾉｰﾊﾟﾝになってね｡
I mean...with an open naked heart.
うおぉ～～っ!!
♪♪～
我が右手に 一片のﾊﾟﾝﾂなし！
In this right hand, I have not a single pair of panties!
ぐぅ…！
姉上～！
Sis!
やっぱり ｱﾈｺﾞが１番ｱﾙ！
Big sis, you're the best!
(地雷のｽｲｯﾁ音) (２人)…ん!?
(爆発音)
あ～あ｡
Hijikata-san, actually, I gave you the charity panties.
土方さん ほどこしﾊﾟﾝﾂ 実は ｵﾚの仕業でさぁ｡
なんだと!? ｼｬﾚでさぁ ｼｬﾚ｡
What?!
Ha ha! It was a joke. A joke!
いっぺん死ぬか ｺﾗｧ!!
You wanna die?
Wait!
(土方)待てぇ～！ (地雷のｽｲｯﾁ音)
Stay there!
(爆発音)
The beach? No can do.
[Preview]
Looks like the beach is closed off because of a man-eating alien.
What? There's a reward for that alien?
All right! This summer is going to be fly fishing for aliens!
The next episode:
"Why is the Sea So Salty? Because You City Folk Pee Whenever You Go Swimming!"
["Why is the Sea So Salty? Because You City Folk Pee Whenever You Go Swimming!"]
[This year's summer fad for the young modern kids, the beach house's special beach samurai shirts.]
[By the way, aren't you guys jumping to conclusions, too quickly? Oh well, guess we'll go for our last spurt!]
[Present]
[Masked Loincloth Bandit IV]
Here's a fabulous gift for you losers watching anime alone at such an hour!
Send us a postcard addressed below with your address, name, age
and the reason why you can't get a girl.
We're looking forward to hearing from you...
No, we aren't!
(ふんどし仮面)ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！
こんな時間に １人で ｱﾆﾒなんか見ている➡
もてないｷﾐに ｽﾃｷなﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄだ｡
ﾊｶﾞｷに 住所 氏名 年齢➡
自分の考える もてない理由を 記入のうえ➡
ご覧の宛て先まで送ってくれ｡
ﾄﾞｼﾄﾞｼ 応募 待って…！ 待ってねえよ!!