Keep the room well-lit and watch from a distance, okay?
[Today's "Gin Tama" is a two-parter! Part One's guest stars are Michael and Marilyn.]
[Part Two's guests are those black shiny things! Sit back and enjoy the show.]
(笛)
(剣士)何奴じゃ｡
Who's there...?
♪♪～
My name is Gankeimaru.
(岩慶丸)ﾜｼの名は 岩慶丸｡
命が惜しくば その腰のものを 置いていけ！
If you wish to live, drop the sword you are wearing and leave.
なるほど… このところ 巷を騒がしておる➡
I see...
So you are the ogre who has been hunting swords and causing a public disturbance.
刀を狩る鬼とは ｷｻﾏのことか｡
よかろう それほどに この太刀が欲しくば➡
Very well.
If you want this sword so badly, then come and take it...
力づくで 奪うがよい！
by force!
(笑い声)
Die!
死ねぇ！
♪♪～
(岩慶丸)ﾌﾝｯ… 他愛もない｡
That was too easy.
The only impressive thing about you is the sword you carry, eh?
立派なのは 腰に差したものだけか｡
これも 最強というには 程遠いな｡
This is far from the strongest sword I've found...
(岩慶丸)侍の刃は 星をも切り裂くと聞いたが…｡
I heard there is a samurai's blade that can cut a star...
but it seems coming to Earth was a big waste of time.
どうやら 地球へ来たのも ﾑﾀﾞ足だったか…｡
あぁ… いずこにある 妖刀 星砕…｡
Where is it, I wonder... The enchanted sword, "Star Destroyer"?
["Don't Panic-There's a Return Policy!"]
Ouch! My god!
(舞蹴)ｱ～ｳﾁ！ なんてこった!!
不規則な漫画家生活が たたって➡
Long hours as a manga artist have turned my stomach into a double cheeseburger!
お腹が まるでﾀﾞﾌﾞﾙﾊﾞｰｶﾞｰだ！
これじゃあ ｼﾞｪﾆﾌｧｰに 嫌われちまうよ ｼｯﾄ！
Jennifer's going to hate me if I look like this!
(麻理鈴)どうしたの 舞蹴！
What's the matter, Michael?
Did a fountain pen pierce your biceps and make them explode?
上腕二等筋に Ｇﾍﾟﾝが刺さって 爆発した？ ｱｰﾊﾝ？
違うよ！ 見てくれ 麻理鈴 ﾎﾞｸの お腹を！
No! Look, Marilyn, at my stomach!
気をつけないとﾀﾞﾒよ｡
You need to be careful. Fountain pens are sharp enough to kill people.
Ｇﾍﾟﾝは 人を殺傷できるほど 鋭いんだから…｡
I said this isn't about a fountain pens, stupid woman! It's my stomach!
(舞蹴)だから Ｇﾍﾟﾝじゃねえって 言ってんだろ ｸｿｱﾏ！
腹だよ！ (麻理鈴)ｵｰｹｰ！
Don't worry!
Use this: the "Round-and-Around Fat Burner"!
(麻理鈴)そんなときは これ ﾀﾞｲｴｯﾄﾏｼｰﾝ➡
｢まわる～ まわ～る～よ 脂肪は燃えるちゃ～ん｣！
Use this for just two hours every day, and your stomach fat will completely disappear.
これを １日12時間やるだけで➡
みるみる お腹の肉が 取れちゃうんだから！
(舞蹴)ﾏｼﾞでか!? 麻理鈴！ (麻理鈴)ｲｪｰｽ！
Are you serious, Marilyn?!
Act now and but two colors and we'll throw in the red one for free!
(麻理鈴)今なら これに 赤 青 色違いの２つもつけて➡
なんと驚きの この価格！
(麻理鈴)12回払い 月々たったこれだけで➡
Just pay in 12 monthly installments, and you'll achieve the body of your dreams!
夢のﾊﾞﾃﾞｨが 手に入っちゃうんだから～！
Say goodbye to this double cheeseburger! Yahoo!
(舞蹴)これで ﾀﾞﾌﾞﾙﾊﾞｰｶﾞｰとも お別れだ！ ｷｬｯﾎｳ!!
Yahoo!
(神楽)ｷｬｯﾎｳ！
"Yahoo" nothing. Where did you get that?
(銀時)ｷｬｯﾎｳ じゃねえよ お前｡
それ どっから手に入れた？ ﾃﾒｴ｡ あれ 電話したら くれたよ｡
I called that number and they gave it to me.
これも これも これも これも これもくれたよ ｷｬｯﾎｳ！
They gave me this, and this, and this, and this, too. Yahoo!
ｷﾞｬｯﾌﾞ～ｯ！ (新八)神楽ちゃん…➡
Good god!
Kagura-chan, this is called a shopping channel. It's a TV show where people buy things.
これはね ﾃﾚﾋﾞｼｮｯﾋﾟﾝｸﾞっていって ﾃﾚﾋﾞで買い物する番組なんだ｡
それ ﾀﾀﾞじゃなくて 買っちゃったんだよ｡
Those things weren't free; you bought them.
(神楽)ﾏｼﾞでか？ とにかく すぐ返してこい｡
Seriously?
Anyway, return them immediately.
今なら まだ間に合うからよ｡
There's still time if you do it right now.
Hey, hey, that's harsh, Johnny!
おいおい 冗談きついぜ ｼﾞｮﾆｰ！
Who're you calling Johnny?!
誰が ｼﾞｮﾆｰだ！ おい新八 手伝え｡
Shinpachi, give me a hand. We're returning all of this.
返しにいくぞ｡ は～い｡
Right.
Stop right there!
や～め～ろ～や～！
ｼﾞｮﾆｰ！ ﾏｸｽｳｪﾙ！
Johnny, Maxwell!
んだよ ﾁｷｼｮｰ！ ｱﾀｲが ﾀﾞﾌﾞﾙﾊﾞｰｶﾞｰになってもいいのかよ！
This is so unfair, dammit!
Don't you care if I end up with a double cheeseburger?!
銀ちゃんのﾊﾞｶ！
Stupid Gin-chan!
大人は 何もわかってくれないよ！
Adults don't know anything!
Hmm...this isn't it, either...
う～む… これも違う｡
Hey! What're you doing?!
(幕臣)ｺﾗｧ！ なにやってんだ!!
What're you doing walking around with a bunch of swords when there's a sword ban?
(幕臣)あ～ん？ ｵﾒｴ この廃刀令のご時世に➡
なに大量に持ち歩いてんだぁ？ (幕臣)いけないなぁ…｡
That's not good...
罰金だよ？ 罰金｡ 100万は かたいよ｡
A fine's a fine. And the fine is million yen, at least.
ｵﾚたち ３人いるから 300万ね｡
Since there are three of us, that's three million.
What a filthy wooden sword!
(質屋)きったねえ木刀だなぁ！
Smells like curry, too? You're asking me to buy this from you?
それに なんか これ ｶﾚｰくさくない？
え？ これ買い取れっていうの？
Yes. I want to buy stuff from the Shopping Channel.
うん！ ﾃﾚﾋﾞｼｮｯﾋﾟﾝｸﾞで 買い物したいｱﾙ｡
(質屋) なんだか よくわかんねえけど➡
I don't quite understand, but I can't buy this from you.
ちょっと こりゃ 引き取れねえなぁ｡
I am willing to buy that odd creature from you, though.
そっちの 変な生き物だったら 買ってもいいぞ｡
(幕臣の うめき声)
Damn you... Do you realize we're Bakufu officials...?
(幕臣)ｷｻﾏ… 我々が 幕府の者と知っての…｡
(殴打音) うわ～っ！
(質屋)くさっ！ なんか これ ｶﾚｰくさいよ！
Phew! It reeks of curry!
それに洞爺湖って これ 土産物じゃないかい？
And it says "Lake Toya"-this is a souvenir, isn't it? I don't want it.
いらんよ こんなの！
Surrender!
The sword... Where is the sword...?
刀… 刀は…｡
(質屋)ﾜｲなぁ 地球の食べ物 口に合いへんねん 特にｶﾚｰな｡
I don't eat Earth foods. I don't like the taste. Especially curry.
(笑い声)
What? A wooden sword?
(ﾏﾄﾞﾓｱｾﾞﾙＳ)え～ 木刀？
ｲｹﾒﾝのものなら ｵﾌﾟｼｮﾝつきで 買ってあげるんだけどぉ➡
If it belonged to a handsome guy, I might buy it, with a few conditions,
お嬢ちゃんのものは 興味ないわぁ｡
but I have no interest in something of yours, young lady.
ふんごおぉ～っ！
Why won't anyone buy this good-for-nothing stick from me?!
どうして 誰も 買ってくれないｱﾙか！
Useless thing!
この役立たずが～！
I don't even get a real salary!
(神楽)だいたい ﾛｸに 給料もらってねえのによ➡
How am I supposed to buy the things I want?!
どうやって欲しい物 手に入れろゆうかぁ～っ!?
Last month, I got paid in pickled seaweed! How sour a wage can somebody get?!
先月も 給料 酢ｺﾝﾌﾞだったしよ！
そんな酸っぱい給料 あるか～！
(野次馬)おい… 橋が!?
H-Hey! The bridge!
Am I supposed to spend my youth with just pickled seaweed?!
(神楽)酢ｺﾝﾌﾞだけの青春を 過ごせとでも 言うｱﾙか～!!
This isn't it...or this...
(岩慶丸)これも… これも違う…｡
(野次馬)うわぁ… ﾊﾞｹﾓﾉだぁ～！
A monster!
(野次馬)なんだぁ あの木刀！ 橋がなくなっちまったぁ～!!
What is that wooden sword?! The bridge is gone!
木刀…｡
Wooden sword?
♪♪～
(神楽)ﾊｧ… もう 帰るに帰れないよ｡
Can't even go home if I want to.
I took his precious sword without his permission.
あんなに大事にしてたもの 勝手に持ち出してしまったね…｡
きっと怒ってるよ 銀ちゃん…｡
Gin-chan's going to be angry for sure.
(水しぶきの音)
うぅりゃあぁっ！
Who are you?
(神楽)なにｱﾙか お前！
Young lady. Where did you get that wooden sword?
小娘… その木刀 どこで手に入れた！
ﾌﾌ… 橋をも両断する その切れ味｡
The way it cut a bridge in two...
(岩慶丸)ついに見つけたぞ… 妖刀 星砕！
I've found it at last...the enchanted sword...
Star Destroyer!
おとなしく その刀を渡せ！
Quietly hand over that sword! If you don't, I'll take your life!
されば 命までは取ら…｡
♪♪～
ﾌﾊﾊﾊ… やってくれたな 小娘！
Now you've done it, young lady!
はぁ？ 刀狩り？
Huh? "Sword Collecting"?
そうですよ 最近 巷で 流行ってるらしくて…｡
That's right. There seems to be a lot of attacks around town...
下手人は 天人らしいんですが➡
The culprit is apparently an Amanto training to become the strongest warrior in the universe.
なんでも 宇宙最強を目指して 武者修行をしてるって話です｡
♪♪～
実際 えらい強いらしくて 幕府の家来から 浪人まで➡
He's apparently really strong.
Seems many Bakufu retainers and ronin have already fallen to him.
相当 餌食になってるみたいですよ｡
Wasn't that his work we just saw?
さっきのも きっと そうなんじゃないすか？
宇宙最強ねぇ…➡
The strongest in the universe, you say?
We may come from different planets, but the stupid things men do don't change.
星が変わっても 男のﾊﾞｶさは 変わらねえな｡
ﾛﾏﾝだか なんだか知らねえが➡
Is he pursuing a dream or something?
All of these guys read too much JUMP.
どいつもこいつも ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ 読み過ぎだぜ｡
He might come after your wooden sword, too, Gin-san.
銀さんの木刀だって 狙われるかもしれないですよ｡
その木刀 そこらの真剣より よっぽど名刀ですもんね｡
That wooden sword is much more powerful than an ordinary metal one.
なんでも斬っちゃうし…｡
It can cut through anything.
それって いったい 何なんですか？
What on earth is that sword?
だから これは お前…➡
It is, well...
When I was on a school field trip to Lake Toya, a hermit who lived there...
修学旅行のときにな 洞爺湖に住む仙人に… ん？
Huh?
あれ？ そういや 木刀 どうしたっけな｡
What? Now that you mention it, what'd I do with it?
(神楽)はぁ… いったい あのおっさんは 何ｱﾙか？
Who was that guy?
しばらく ここに 隠れているｱﾙよ 定春… わっ！
We'll hide here for a while, Sada...
見つけたぞ 小娘｡
Found you, young lady.
ちょっと ｱﾝﾀ なんてことすんの！
Hey! Look what you've done!
ｱﾝﾀも！ お勘定は!?
And you, too! Pay up!
(神楽)そのおっさんが払うｱﾙ！ (岩慶丸)逃がさん！
That guy will pay!
You're not getting away!
I've seen many swords up until now, but your sword...
これまで 幾多の刀を見てきたが ｷｻﾏの その刀こそ➡
ﾜｼが 長年 探し続けてきた 妖刀 星砕！
is the enchanted sword I have been searching for all these years. The Star Destroyer!
ふんっ！
ほわたぁっ！
１人で盛り上がんなよ ﾏﾆｱが｡
Don't get so excited, sword freak.
うっ！
(岩慶丸)ﾅﾒられたものだ｡
You underestimated me.
I held back and was soft for not killing you, young lady?
ﾜｼが 命を落とさぬよう 加減したな？ 小娘｡
だが 我々 玄武族は 弾丸さえはじく 鋼の肉体をもつ｡
But we of the Genbu Clan have bodies so tough that even bullets bounce off us.
この体に 星砕が備われば ﾜｼに 敵はない｡
With this body and the Star Destroyer, no one can stand against me.
The strongest sword should be wielded by the strongest warrior.
(岩慶丸)最強の刀は 最強の兵にこそ ふさわしい｡
Now, admit defeat and hand it over.
(岩慶丸)さぁ おとなしく それを渡せ｡
《神楽:あぁ… これは ﾊﾞﾁｱﾙ…｡
Oh, this must be my punishment for bad karma.
人の大事なものを 勝手に奪おうとしたから➡
It's because I stole someone's cherished possession.
神様が 私を しばこうとしているよ｡
So now, God is punishing me.
But please listen, God... He didn't pay me a real salary.
でも 聞いてよ 神様｡ ﾔﾂは 私に ろくに 給料もくれないね｡
おまけに 私の大事なものも 勝手に 奪っていったよ｡
And he took away all my cool crap.
いっそ この木刀を渡して 楽になろうか…｡
Maybe I should hand over this wooden sword and make it easy on myself.
いや 待て… それじゃ➡
No, wait. If I did that, then I would be exactly like him.
私のしてることは ﾔﾂと まったく同じｱﾙ｡
あの歳じゃ 銀ちゃんは もう 人格を改善するのは 不可能…｡
At his age, it's impossible for Gin-chan to change his character.
But Kagura... There's still time for you.
でも 神楽… お前なら まだ間に合うよ｡
大人になれ 神楽！》
Grow up! Kagura!
♪♪～
あっ ｷｻﾏ… なんてことを！
Dammit! What have you done?
(定春)ﾜﾝｯ！ なにっ？
What?!
♪♪～
(神楽)あちょっ！ (岩慶丸)あっ…｡
(岩慶丸の叫び声)
Good boy, good boy. Well done, Sadaharu.
(神楽)よ～し よ～し よくやったｱﾙよ 定春｡
帰って 謝ろっか｡ ちょっと 腹立つｱﾙけど…➡
Let's go home and apologize. Though, I'm still a little mad.
やっぱり これは 銀ちゃんの腰にあるのが➡
This sword looks best on Gin-chan's belt, after all.
いちばん 絵になるね｡
(神楽)ただいまよ～｡
I'm home!
ｱ～ｳﾁ！ なんてこった！
Ouch! My god!
(舞蹴)こんなところで 侍に ｶﾂｱｹﾞされるとは…｡
I can't believe I'm being threatened by samurai!
Today's my date with Jennifer. What rotten luck. Shit!
今日は ｼﾞｪﾆﾌｧｰとのﾃﾞｰﾄだってのに ﾂｲてないよ｡ ｼｯﾄ！
ｼﾞｪﾆﾌｧｰなんて来ないわよ｡ ｱﾝﾀは ここで死ぬの 舞蹴｡
Jennifer's not coming. You're going to die here, Michael.
Hey. What're you doing here?! Nobody said anything about this.
おい！ お前 なにしてんの こんなところで｡ 聞いてないよ｡
The other day, when you were drinking, I heard you call me "Frankenstein"!
ｵﾒｴ こないだ 酒の席で➡
ｱﾀｲのこと 改造人間とか 言ったらしいな ｺﾗ！
I've only had a nose job, you bastard!
ｱﾀｲが整形したのは 鼻だけだって 言ってんだろうが この野郎！
ﾃﾒｴなんか この 妖刀 星砕で➡
I'm going to take this enchanted sword "Star Destroyer"
筋肉 ぶっ壊して 再起不能にしてやるよ！
and cut off your ripping muscles so hard you'll never recover.
This was fashioned from a 10,000 year-old Diamond tree that only grows on a distant planet!
(麻理鈴)ｺｲﾂはなぁ 辺境の星に生える➡
金剛樹と呼ばれる 樹齢１万年の 木から作られた代物でよ➡
This amazing wooden sword can cut through rock, meteors and even your muscles.
ものによっちゃ 岩だろうが 隕石だろうが➡
ｵﾒｴの筋肉だろうが ぶっ壊せる すんげえ木刀なんだよ！
Buy now! And as part of our special offer, we'll even engrave the hilt!
今なら 特別 この 柄の部分によ 好きな文字 入れてやるよ｡
Only 12 payments! Just this much per month...and you too, can become an invincible samurai!
あ はい｡
Uh-huh, thats right. Engrave it with "Lake Toya" as always. That's "Lake Toya."
いや いつもどおり ｢洞爺湖｣で お願いします｡ ｢洞爺湖｣｡
Isn't that awesome?!
いや… もう 逆に ずっと それでいこうかなって思って｡
No, I think I'll stick with that design again.
Gin-chan, what are you doing?
銀ちゃん なにやってるｱﾙか？
Listen to this, Kagura-chan.
おぅ 聞いてくれよ 神楽ちゃん｡
ﾎﾞｸ ﾊﾟﾁﾝｺで 大勝ちしちゃって～｡
I made a killing at the Pachinko parlor...
The other day, I spilled curry on my wooden sword, and it smelled so bad, I splurged on a new one.
それで～ こないだ 木刀に ｶﾚｰこぼしてから➡
臭くて しゃあねえんで 奮発して 新しいのをね｡
What? A wooden sword... You mean like that one?
木刀って これ？
そうだよ～｡ 新八には言うなよ｡
[Enchanted Sword "Star Destroyer"]
That's right. Don't tell Shinpachi. I want to keep it mysterious.
ﾐｽﾃﾘｱｽな感じに しときたいんだから｡
口止め料として 何か買ってやっからよ｡
I'll buy you something so you keep quiet, okay?
なんだ 酢ｺﾝﾌﾞか？ 酢ｺﾝﾌﾞだろ？
What would you like? Pickled seaweed?
Your life revolves around Pickled seaweed, doesn't it?
酢ｺﾝﾌﾞしかねえもんな お前の青春は｡
Huh? I haven't seen my sword for a while... So you had it?
あ？ なんだ 見ねえと思ったら お前が持ってたの？
Hey! Why'd you break it? Why?!
おい～っ！ なんで折るの？ なんで折るの!?
Johnny, I'm beat. Let me sleep.
(神楽)ｼﾞｮﾆｰ… ｱﾀｲ もう疲れちまったよ｡
(神楽)ゆっくり 眠らせてくれ｡
["I Told You to Pay Attention to the News!"]
うわぁ～っ！ 助けて～!!
Help!
Health! Health me!
ﾍﾙｽ！ ﾍﾙｽﾐｰ!!
ﾍﾙﾌﾟﾐｰな｡ どした？
You mean "help me"? What's wrong?
A c-c-c-coackroach! In my room!
ｺﾞｺﾞｺﾞ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ！ 私の部屋に～！
なんだ お前｡ 宇宙最強のくせに ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ ﾀﾞﾒなの？
What's the matter with you?
The strongest being in the universe is afraid of a cockroach?
ﾀﾞﾒ！ 油ｷﾞｯｼｭ！
I can't stand them! They're creepy! Shape! Shape up now!
ｼｪｲﾌﾟ！ ｼｪｲﾌﾟｱｯﾌﾟ乱！ ﾍﾙﾌﾟﾐｰな｡
"Help me." Okay?
お前なぁ 江戸で生きていくってことは➡
Look you, living in Edo is all about...
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘとともに生きていくことと 同じなんだぜ｡
living together with cockroaches.
…んっ!?
ああぁ～～っ!!
おはようございま～す｡
Good morning.
どうしたんですか？
Something wrong?
A co-cockroach! One hell of a cockroach!
ｺﾞ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ！ ものっそいｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ！
Pulp! Pulp fiction!
ﾊﾟﾙﾌﾟ！ ﾊﾟﾙﾌﾟﾌｨｸｼｮﾝ！ ﾍﾙﾌﾟﾐｰな｡
You mean "help me."
は？ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ？ なにを今さら｡
Huh? A cockroach? What is it now?
江戸で生きてくってことはね➡
Living in Edo is like...
doing club activities with fellow cockroaches.
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘと同じ部活に 入ってるようなもんですよ｡
おい 志村… 後ろ｡
Hey, Shimura. Behind you.
ん？
ぎゃふぅ～っ！ ﾍ… ﾍﾙﾍﾟｽ！ ﾍﾙﾍﾟｽﾐｰ!!
Hump me! Hump me!
ﾍﾙﾌﾟﾐｰな｡
You mean "help me."
♪♪～
Good afternoon, I am Kusano Hitoyoshi.
(草野)こんにちは 草野 仁義です｡
え～ 本日は 通常の番組内容を 変更いたしまして➡
Today, we interrupt our normal programming
江戸じゅうで異常発生している 巨大ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘについて➡
for an in-depth look at the giant cockroach infestation throughout Edo.
お伝えしていきたいと思います｡
Joining me is Prince Hata of the Midland Star,
(草野)まずは 本日のｹﾞｽﾄ 宇宙じゅうの動物に詳しい➡
央国星の ﾊﾀ皇子に お話を伺いたいと思います｡
a renowned authority on interplanetary zoology.
Prince, are these really cockroaches?
(草野)皇子 あれは 本当に ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘなんでしょうか？
[Expert on space creatures, Prince Hata]
Yes. They are indeed cockroaches, but they are probably not from Earth.
(ﾊﾀ皇子)うむ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘには違いないが 地球産ではあるまい｡
おそらく 地球に入ってきた 異星の船とともに➡
They most likely entered Edo aboard an alien ship that came to Earth.
江戸に入り込んだんじゃろう｡
So they are alien cockroaches?
(草野) 宇宙ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘというわけですか？
They are space cockroaches.
(ﾊﾀ)ｽﾍﾟｰｽｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘじゃ｡
Like I said, alien cockroaches.
Alien cockroaches, they say.
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)宇宙ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘですって｡
Space cockroaches.
Damn. I hope we don't have any...
(お登勢)ｲﾔだね｡ まさか ｳﾁにはいないだろうね｡
You looking for a fight? Stop the cameras!
(物音)
(３人)ﾊｧ ﾊｧ ﾊｧ…｡
What was that?
なんすか あれ｡ なんで あんなん いるんすか｡
How could that exist?!
Is that really a cockroach?
あれ ﾎﾝﾄに ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘｱﾙか？
知らねえよ｡ 知らねえよって ｱﾝﾀの家でしょ！
I don't know.
You don't know?! Isn't this your home?!
You created that monster.
あれはね ｱﾝﾀが作り出した化け物だ｡
ｷﾐの だらしない生活が あんな悲しいﾓﾝｽﾀｰを➡
Your lousy housekeeping gave birth to that lamentable monster, Gintoki-kun.
生み出してしまったんだよ 銀時君｡
You guys practically live here, too!
ﾃﾒｴらも 住んでるようなもんだろうが！
ｺｲﾂは あくまで仮説だが… ｵﾚは これが関係してると思う｡
This is just my theory, but I think this has something to do with it.
Ah!
(神楽)あっ 私の酢ｺﾝﾌﾞ 食べられてる！
My pickled seaweed... It's been chewed on.
おそらく 酢ｺﾝﾌﾞを食することによって➡
Somehow, eating pickled seaweed must've caused a terrible reaction in their bodies.
ﾔﾂの中で 何か 予測できない 超反応が起こり➡
あんなことに…｡ ﾏｼﾞでか!?
Seriously?!
This is dangerous.
やばいっすよ｡ あんなもん誕生させたうえ➡
You know, if this thing escapes into the city, we'll be bagged and pummeled.
もし 町に逃がしでもしたら ﾎﾞｸら 袋叩きですよ｡
そうなる前に ｵﾚたちで駆除する｡
We'll exterminate it before that happens! No matter what, don't let it out of this house!
なんとしても この家から出すな！
Shinpachi, what'd you do with the bug spray?
新八 殺虫剤 どうした？
Oh no! I left it in the other room.
あっ！ あっち 置いてきちゃった…｡
Oh man, You're such a... Shinpachi!
勘弁しろよ｡ お前 ﾎﾝﾄ 新八だな｡
That's why you're always Shinpachi!
だから お前は いつまでたっても 新八なんだよ｡
なんだぁ！ 新八という存在 そのものを全否定か！
What?! Are you dissing my entire Shinpachi-tude?!
Unforgivable! Unforgivable!
許さん 許さんぞ!! とってきてやるよ この野郎！
I'll go get it, for Christ's sake!
巨大ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘがなんだ ﾁｸｼｮｰ!!
Who cares about a stupid giant cockroach, dammit!
ﾃﾒｴのｹﾂくらい ﾃﾒｴで拭くよ！
And who cares if I get killed?!
血が出るまで 拭き続けてやるよ!!
I'm just a stupid Shinpachi!
Bring it on!
うぉらあぁ～っ！ かかってこいやぁ～!!
ﾌﾝｯ!!
あ… ぎゃああぁ～!!
え～ 宇宙ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘについて 視聴者の皆さんから➡
We have been receiving calls and e-mails from one Alien-Cockroach victim after another.
次々と 情報が寄せられています｡
なかには 人が襲われたという 恐ろしい話もありますが➡
There are even frightening reports of people being attacked.
どうですか？ ﾊﾞ… 皇子｡
Your thoughts, Idi...Prince?
おい！ 今 ﾊﾞｶ皇子って 言いそうになったろ！
Hey, you were just about to say Idiot Prince, weren't you?
言いそうになっていませんよ｡
No, I wasn't. What are your thoughts, Prince?
どうですか？ 皇子｡
They are carnivorous, so I would advise caution.
あれは 肉食じゃからの｡ 気をつけるがよい｡
Also, if you see them, you must not kill them. That would bring disaster.
あとは 見つけても 絶対に殺してはいかん｡
大変なことになるぞ｡ (草野)大変とは？
Disaster? What mysteries do these carnivorous monster roaches hold?
肉食怪虫ｺﾞｷﾌﾞｰﾘには どんな謎があるのですか？
They are carnivorous monster cockroaches.
(ﾊﾀ)肉食怪虫ｺﾞｯｷﾌﾞﾘじゃ｡
Like I said. Giant Roaches.
Don't try to kill 'em, eh?
殺しちゃ ﾀﾞﾒなんですって｡
I said Giant Cockroaches! Do you want to fight again?
危ない危ない｡ 危うく 殺っちまうところだったよ｡
That was close. I was just about to kill one.
ん？ さっきから なにやってんだ？ ｱｲﾂら｡ (物音)
What're those guys doing?
うらぁ～!! 死ね ｺﾗｧ～!!
Die!
Damn bug! What's the big idea of turning into a monster?!
ﾃﾒｴ 一人で大きくなったような 顔しやがってよ～!!
誰が ここまで育ててやったと 思ってんだぁ!!
And after all the food we've left out for you!!
ふぅ… おい 新八は？
Hey... Where's Shinpachi?
…見当たらないよ｡
I don't see him.
あっ 銀ちゃん！
Gin-chan, you don't think Shinpachi was eaten by this thing?
新八 まさか ｺｲﾂに…！
Don't be silly.
ﾊﾞｶ言っちゃいかんよ｡ たかが でかいだけのｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘに…｡
It's just a huge cockroach. It wouldn't.
新八～!! 出せ ﾃﾒｴ ｺﾗｧ！
Shinpachi!
Spit him out, damn bug!
何味だった？ ｺｰﾝﾎﾟﾀｰｼﾞｭか？ それとも明太味なのか!?
What'd he taste like?! Like corn potato? Or salted cod roe?!
(ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘの鳴き声)
Oh? It's crying. What a baby!
お～やおや 泣いちゃったよ この ぼっちゃん｡
泣いてすむなら ﾎﾟﾘｽはいらねえんだ ﾊﾞｶ野郎！
If crying solved everything, we wouldn't need police, idiot!
Seriously, what should we do with this thing?
ｱﾆｷ… ｺｲﾂ ﾏｼﾞで どうしてやりましょうか？
(２人)あぁっ…｡
I repeat. Even if you find them, do not kill the cockroaches.
え～ 繰り返します｡ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞｰﾘを見ても➡
絶対に殺さないでください！
If you do so, it will call its brethren to its aid!
仲間を呼ぶ 恐れがあります｡ 絶対に殺さないでください｡
Under no circumstances, are you to attempt to kill it!
However, Idiot Prince, that means there is no way to combat the cockroaches.
え～ しかし ﾊﾞｶ皇子｡
これでは ｺﾞｷﾌﾞｰﾘに対抗する 手段がありませんね｡
Hey, you clearly just said "idiot."
おい！ 今 はっきり ﾊﾞｶって言ったろ！
あっ 中継がつながったようです｡
Oh, we've just been connected live.
おい ごまかすんじゃねえよ！ 現場の結野さ～ん！
Hey! Don't change the subject!
Ketsuno-san, are you at the scene?
結野ｱﾅ！
Announcer Ketsuno!
Yes, I am now in Kabukicho, Shinjuku, where the monster cockroaches have caused the greatest damage.
(結野ｱﾅ)はい こちら 怪虫ｺﾞｷﾌﾞｰﾘの被害が➡
もっとも甚大な 新宿かぶき町です｡
ご覧ください！ この悲惨な状況を！
Just look at this disaster.
突如現れ 異常繁殖したｺﾞｷﾌﾞｰﾘは 現在 江戸中を襲っています｡
The cockroaches, which appeared suddenly and reproduced abnormally,
are currently attacking all of Edo.
いったい 江戸は これから どうなってしまうんでしょうか？
What will become of Edo from here on?
Is there a reason why the cockroaches are concentrated in Kabukicho?
かぶき町にばかり ｺﾞｷﾌﾞｰﾘが集中するのには➡
何か 理由があるんですか？ 皇… ﾊﾞｶ皇子｡
Prince... Idiot Prince?
Why'd you say that?! You could've just continued on your way!
なんで言い直した？ そのままいけばよかったじゃん！
お前 絶対 あとで殺すからな！
I'm definitely going to kill you all later!
いや 余が 直接 手をくださずとも ｷｻﾏは いずれ死ぬ｡
No... I won't have to dirty my hands. You'll eventually die.
なぬ!? (ﾊﾀ)よく聞け｡
Listen to me.
The reason they're gathering there is probably because the queen is there too.
ﾔﾂらが群がってるのは おそらく あそこに女王がいるからじゃ｡
ﾔﾂらは すべて 一匹のﾒｽから生まれた兄弟｡
They are all siblings born from a single female.
まず 女王が星に巣くい そこで 大量の卵を産む｡
First, the queen builds her nest on a planet and lays a large cache of eggs.
そこから かえった子たちは その星のすべてを食い尽くす｡
The hatchlings eat their way through the entire planet.
In this manner, they have destroyed several planets.
ﾔﾂらは そうして いくつもの星を滅ぼしてきた｡
女王がいるかぎり ﾔﾂらは 際限なく増え続けるぞ｡
As long as the queen exists, they will continue to multiply.
このままでは 確実に この星は終わる｡
At this rate, it will most certainly be the end of this planet.
我々が助かる道は その女王を 退治するほかないと？
So the only way to save ourselves is to exterminate the queen?
そういうことですか？ ﾊﾞｶ！
Is that what you're saying, Idiot?
Add "Prince"! If you're going to call me an idiot, at least add the "Prince" title!
皇子は つけよう！ ﾊﾞｶでもせめて 皇子は つけよう！
なにか 女王を判別する 目印のようなものは？
Is there any way to tell the queen from the others?
ﾑﾘじゃ… ﾔﾂらの女王は 普通のｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘの大きさと変わらん｡
Nope. Their queen is identical to an ordinary cockroach.
あ！ いや待て！
No, wait. There is one thing different about it.
ひとつだけ 他と違うものがある｡
それは いったい？
What could that be?
背中に 五郎 って書いてある｡
She has the characters for "Goro" written on her back.
What? What does "Goro" mean?
(草野)なんですか？ その 五郎というのは？
余がつけた名じゃ！
It's just the name I gave her.
That Goro, running away from her cage on her own after I took such good care of her.
五郎のﾔﾂめ あんなに かわいがってやったのに➡
ｶｺﾞから 勝手に逃げおって…｡
What did you just say?
(草野)お前 今 なんつった!? (ﾊﾀ)え？
What? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Uh...
なんか 今 まずいこと言った？ あ…｡
[Please Stand By.]
They say it has "Goro" written on its back.
背中に五郎ですって…｡
ﾑﾘﾑﾘ 終わったね 地球｡ (震動)
Who cares? We're done for. It's the end of Earth.
You're making too much noise! Keep it down, up there, you nimrods!
うっせえんだよ！ いい加減にしろ このﾀｺ～!!
だ～っ こっち来るなってえの！
Don't you get any closer! What the hell is going on?!
いったい どうなってんだ？ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘの大逆襲ってか？
Is this "Revenge of the Roaches"?!
こんなことなら もっと ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘに やさしくしときゃよかったな！
If I knew this was going to happen, I should've been nicer to cockroaches!
おい！ ん？
Hey! Kagura, this is no time to be sleeping.
おい 神楽！ お前 寝てる場合じゃ…｡
Three cockroaches. Four cockroaches. Five cockroaches.
(神楽)ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘが３匹 ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘが４匹…｡ 神楽ちゃ～ん！
Kagura-chan?!
ﾀﾞﾒだよ そんなもん 数えながら寝たら！
Don't fall asleep counting cockroaches!
ﾈﾊﾞﾈﾊﾞの部屋に 閉じ込められる夢 見るよ！
You'll have a nightmare about being locked up in a sticky, slimy room!
おい！ しっかりしろ!! ん？
Hey, snap out of it!
"Goro" on its back. Got it? "Goro" on its back!
背中に五郎です！ 背中に五郎！
If a cockroach with "Goro" on its back is exterminated, the other cockroaches will die off.
(草野)背中に五郎のｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘさえ 退治すれば➡
他のｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘたちも すべて死に絶えます！
Please. The fate of the Earth is at stake.
お願いします！ 地球の運命がかかっています！
あなたの手に 地球の運命が!!
The fate of Earth is in your hands!
なんだ？ これ｡ なんで五郎？
What's this? Why's it say "Goro"?
妙なもんだなぁ… いつもは 見ただけで鳥肌もんだが➡
That's really weird. As if this thing isn't creepy enough already.
こんな状況じゃあな…｡
But under these conditions...
運がいいぜ お前｡ 蜘蛛の糸ならぬ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘの糸だ｡
You're a lucky fellow. Saved by a spider's...er, roach's...thread.
きっちり 恩返ししてくれよな｡
This damn well better be worth some good karma.
うおお～っ!! …あっ！
Gin-san! I, Shinpachi have returned!
銀さん！ 新八 ただいま戻りました!!
新八… お前 生きてたのか!?
Shinpachi! You're alive!
ﾎﾞｸが ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘごときに やられるわけないでしょ！
You actually thought I could be killed by a cockroach.
超 強力殺虫剤 買ってきたんすよ｡
I bought an ultra-powerful bug spray.
さっそく ﾂｷが回ってきやがった！
I guess that karma stuff works.
銀さん！ よし！ いいことは するもんだね｡
Gin-san!
All right. It pays to do good deeds.
(殺虫剤の噴射音)
These things are everywhere!! The city is going crazy!
そんなことより 外は すごいことになってますよ｡
町中 酢ｺﾝﾌﾞｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘが ｳｼﾞｬｳｼﾞｬ！
There are pickled seaweed cockroaches crawling all over the streets.
やべえなぁ… ｵﾚらのせいだって ﾊﾞﾚたら 打ち首だぜ｡
We're in trouble. If they find out it was our fault, they'll chop our heads off.
There is a strange rumor going around.
なんか 変なｳﾜｻまで流れてましたよ｡
ｺｲﾂらが 宇宙から 地球を乗っ取りにやってきた➡
Something about these being man-eating cockroaches that came from space to take over Earth.
人食いｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘだとか…｡ 背中に 五郎って書かれた➡
And the world is doomed unless we kill the queen cockroach, with "Goro" written on its back.
女王ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘを殺さないと 地球は 滅びるだとか…｡
Man, people will believe anything!
もう 勝手に 話が大きくなっちゃって…！
新八君… もう１回言って｡
Shinpachi-kun...say that again.
いや だから ｺｲﾂらは 人食いｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘで➡
Like I said, these are man-eating cockroaches,
背中に 五郎って書かれた 女王を殺さないと➡
and unless we kill the queen roach that has "Goro" written on its back, Earth is doomed.
地球が滅ぶんですって！ もう笑っちゃいますよね ﾊﾊﾊ…！
Is that stupid or what?!
ｸｯｸｸ… ｱｯﾊｯﾊｯﾊ… ﾎﾝﾄ 笑っちゃうよな｡
Sure is stupid...
ｵﾚ 地球を滅ぼした 魔王になっちゃったよ｡
Stupid, like being the man who destroyed the world.
もう 笑うしかねえや…！
What else can I do but laugh...
えっ!? 見たんか？ 五郎さん 見たんか!!
You've seen it? You saw Goro?!
ｱﾊﾊﾊ！ 逃がしちゃったよ ｵﾚ｡
I had it in my hand and I let it go.
地球を滅ぼしちゃったよ ｵﾚ！
I've doomed Earth.
どどどどこぉ！ 早く見つけないと!!
Wh-Wh-Where?! We have to find it right away.
It's no use. It ran off somewhere.
ﾑﾘﾑﾘ もう どっか行っちゃったって！
それより ｽﾃｰｷ食いに行こう｡
Forget it. Let's go eat steak.
Okay, Kagura, you can eat all you want today.
さぁ 神楽… 今日は 好きなだけ食べていいぞ！
どうせ みんな死ぬんだからねぇ ﾋ～ｯﾋｯﾋｯ｡
After all, we're all going to die, anyway.
ちょっと 銀さん！ しっかりしてくださいよ～！
Wait, Gin-san, pull yourself together!
It's as though I've condemned us all to death. Kill me now.
Gin-san!
銀さん!!
♪♪～
(叩く音)
ｸ～ｯ…｡
[Preview]
Excuse me?
May I say something?
I think the culprit is a pauper.
So I think...
What's going on?
What's next week's story about?
The next episode: "Even Teen Idols Act Like You Guys."
[How a live street performance touched the heart of a young man about to self-destruct.]
[A young girl's singing gave this young man a reason to live.]
♪♪｢お前 それでも人間か？ お前のかあちゃん…｣