[Today's opening is a short one! This episode has a lot going on.]
[Sorry, Yo-King-san. We couldn't do a second part next week.]
What? You mean even Matsumura, Degawa and the others were arrested?
(三男)なにっ!? では 松村 出川らも➡
きゃつらに 捕縛されたと!?
(三男)うぬぬ… おのれ 真選組め！
Damned Shinsengumi.
(次男)きけば あの 桂 高杉らも 連中の追随を恐れ➡
From what I've heard, even Katsura and Takasugi left Edo to escape their pursuit.
江戸より 身を引いているとか…｡
Cowards, all of 'em.
(三男)腰抜けどもが｡ 己の身命を顧みず➡
Have they forgotten the Yamato spirit that drives us to save our country without the fear of death?
国を救わんとする 大和魂を 忘れたか！
But... This may be a good opportunity.
だが これは 好機なのでは？
我ら 八留虎３兄弟が 今 行動を起こせば➡
If we, The Three Parco Brothers, act now,
桂 高杉に先んじて➡
we could be the leaders of the Anti-Foreginer Faction before Katsura and Takasugi return.
攘夷党の先陣を きれるというもの｡
They may be called the special police, but they're just a bunch of old country samurai.
(長男)特別警察などと うたったところで➡
ﾔﾂらは しょせん にわか侍の集まり｡
If we take out their leader, they'll become like sheep without a shepherd.
ﾔﾂらを統制する 頭を砕けば➡
ただの烏合の衆と なり果てるわ｡ (三男/次男)うむ｡
Our target is the Shinsengumi's brains, the demon vice-chief, Toshiro Hijikata.
的は 真選組の頭脳…➡
鬼の副長こと 土方 十四郎！
["The More You're Alike, the More You Fight"]
(土方)ｵﾔｼﾞ いつもの頼む｡ (ｵﾔｼﾞ)ﾍｲ！
Pops, the usual.
Okay.
(女将)あら～ 土方さんが 制服 着てないところ➡
Oh, this is the first time I've seen you without your uniform, Hijikata-san.
初めて見たわ｡ (土方)今日は ｵﾌだ｡
I'm off today.
When you're single, it's hard to find things to do.
１人もんは やることがなくて いけねえや｡
Better than having a wife nag you all day.
(ｵﾔｼﾞ)いたらいたで うっとうしいもんですよ｡
そうか？ (女将)やだよ ｱﾝﾀ｡
Really?
Stop that, Dear.
《三男:ﾍﾍﾍ｡ 鬼の副長ともあろう者が➡
The demon vice-chief is totally off guard.
ｽｷだらけではないか｡
It'd be easy to get rid of him.
これならば 容易に 始末できそうだ｡
いくか！》
Shall we do it?
(ｵﾔｼﾞ)ﾍｲ！ 土方ｽﾍﾟｼｬﾙ一丁！
Here you go! The Hijikata special!
《どわっ！》
What the heck is he eating?
《三男:なっ… なんちゅうもん 食ってんだ!?
ｵｴｯ… 見ているだけで 気持悪くなってきた》
Makes me sick just watching.
Here you are. Uji Gintoki Bowl!
(ｵﾔｼﾞ)ﾍｲ！ 宇治銀時丼 一丁!!
《三男:おわ～っ！ なに 今度は 小豆～!?》
What?! Red bean jam on rice?!
Huh?
(銀時/土方)んっ？ 《三男:なんだ この店は!?
What kind of diner is this?! Nothing but weirdos here!
変なﾔﾂばっかだ！》
Hey hey. Pardon me, but you with the mayonnaise dish-mind leaving?
(銀時)おいおい… ちょっと悪いんだけど➡
そちらのﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞの方 席 外してもらえねえか？
そんなもん 横でﾋﾞﾁｬﾋﾞﾁｬ食われたら 食欲が失せるわ｡
Seeing you slop that into your mouth is gonna ruin my appetite. Right, buddy?
ねっ！ おじさん｡ 《えっ？ ｵﾚ…？》
Me?
だったら ﾃﾒｴが 席 外したほうが 得策じゃねえのか？
If that's the case, then I think it'd be best if you left.
Anyone with such a messed up sense of taste, who puts red bean jam on rice,
ご飯に 小豆かけて食うような ｲｶれた味覚のﾔﾂに➡
has no right to eat in a diner. Right, buddy?
定食屋に来る資格はねえ｡
ねぇ？ おじさん｡ いや… あの…｡
Well, I...
太古の昔から 炭水化物と➡
Don't you know that since times long past, rice goes great with sweets?
甘いものは合うとされているのを 知らねえのか？
Like an-pan and cakes. Right, buddy?
あんﾊﾟﾝしかり ｹｰｷしかりよぉ｡ ねっ おじさん｡
Huh? I don't know.
えっ？ いや 知らないけど…｡ ﾌｯ…｡
何を味わうにも まず それを引き立てる ｲﾚｷﾞｭﾗｰさが➡
Don't you know that a sophisticated palate
requires contrasting flavors to bring out a dish's distinctions?
必要というのが わからんのか？
Adding salt or tartness brings out the original flavor.
(土方)塩気 酸味をきかせることで 元ある食材の味が➡
より 引き立つんだ｡ つまり ﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞだ｡
In other words, a ton of mayo.
Right, buddy?
ねぇ？ おじさん｡ いや… もう ちょっと➡
No...stop asking me. I'm not part of this.
ｵﾚに ふらないでくれない？ 関係ないから…｡
ｵﾚの 宇治銀時丼を お前の 犬のｴｻと一緒にすんなよ｡
Don't compare my red bean jam rice to your dog food.
This is a historic dish created by the Sandwich Shogun,
これはな 昔 ﾃﾞｻﾞｰﾄとﾒｼを ﾊﾞﾗﾊﾞﾗに食うのが たるかった｡
ｻﾝﾄﾞｲｯﾁ将軍が作り出した 由緒正しい 食べ物なんだよ｡
who was too lazy to eat dinner and dessert separately.
ねっ おじさん｡ いや… 誰？ ｻﾝﾄﾞｲｯﾁ将軍って｡
Right, buddy?
Who? Wouldn't Sandwich Shogun have invented sandwiches?
ｻﾝﾄﾞｲｯﾁじゃないじゃん｡ それ ご飯じゃん！
That's rice.
それを言うなら ｵﾚのだってなぁ➡
Oh Yeah? Well, mine was created by General Barbarosa who grew tired
ﾒｼとﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞを ﾊﾞﾗﾊﾞﾗに食うのが たるかった ﾊﾞﾙﾊﾞﾛｯｻ将軍が…｡
of eating rice and mayonnaise separately and created...
だから 誰!? その将軍たちは!!
Who the hell are these people?!
ﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞなんて 別に 必ず➡
And mayonnaise isn't a necessary food to have with every meal.
とらなきゃいけない ものじゃないし!!
All right then, shall we compare which tastes better:
そんなに言うんなら 宇治銀時丼と➡
お前の 犬のｴｻｽﾍﾟｼｬﾙ どっちが優れているか➡
Uji Gintoki Bowl or your dog food special?
食べ比べてみるか？ ねっ おじさん｡
Right, buddy?
What do you mean, "Right, buddy"?
ねっ おじさん って なに!? (土方)上等だ｡ ねっ おじさん！
Bring it on! Right, buddy?
Hold it! It's not all right! What is this?! Why should I have to eat it?!
えぇ～っ 待て～！ 全然 上等じゃないから～!!
なに？ ｵﾚが食べる感じになってんの～!?
We need an objective opinion. That's why it has to be done by a complete stranger.
公正な判断は 赤の他人じゃねえと 下せんだろう｡
そういうことで… ねっ おじさん｡ (土方)頼むわ ねおじさん｡
Right, buddy?
We're counting on you. Right, buddy?
(三男)ねおじさんって なに!? なんか 名前みたい！ ぐぉ～っ!!
Right buddy?! You make it sound like its my name...
どうだ？ ねおじさん ｵﾚのが うまいだろ？
How is it, eh buddy? Isn't mine a lot tastier?
Huh? Right buddy?
あれ？ ねおじさん!? (土方)ねおじさ～ん!!
Right buddy!
Thank you very much.
(ｵﾔｼﾞ)ありがとうございました！
ﾁｯ… 思わぬｼﾞｬﾏが入ったな｡
Tsk, we didn't anticipate such interference.
Big Brother, who was that silver-haired guy?
兄者 なんだったんだ あの銀髪…｡
わからん｡ まぁ いい｡
No idea.
That's all right, Jiro.
次郎 次は お前が行け｡ しくじるなよ｡
It's your turn. Don't blow it.
《あぁ 気分が悪い｡ よりによって 休日に➡
I feel awful.
Why'd I have to run into him of all people on my day off.
やな野郎と 会っちまった｡
映画 観て 気分 変えようと思ったが…》
I was thinking of catching a movie, but...
It's for kids... I don't feel like watching it.
ｶﾞｷ向けか… 観る気しねえな｡
(少女)ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ お願い 力を貸して！
[My Neighbor Pedro]
[Note: This movie is obviously a play on "My Neighbor Totoro"]
Pedro, please help me!
My younger sister, Oshizu, is lost.
(少女)お静が… 妹が 迷子になって…｡
She's crying by herself somewhere.
あの子 １人で泣いているわ｡
お願い ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ!!
Please, Pedro.
You try calling the cops?
(ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ)あれ… 警察とか 電話したか？ お前！
(少女)お願い ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ！
Please, Pedro!
They cut my phone off.
ｳﾁ 今 電話 止められてっからなぁ！
(少女)お願い ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ…｡
Please, Pedro!
You're just like all the rest.
(ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ)でも お前ら あれだな… 困ったときだけ ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛって➡
You only come asking, "Pedro, Pedro" when you need help.
調子いいよね｡ こないださ ｳﾁ ﾋﾟﾝﾎﾟﾝﾀﾞｯｼｭしてったろ!?
The other day, you were playing Ping-Pong Dash. I know everything!
(ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ)おじさん 知ってんだからな 全部!!
It's really getting to me...
やられたよ…｡ 大人の鑑賞にも 耐えうる映画だ｡
This kids' movie speaks to adults, too. It's a movie all adults should see.
いや… 大人にこそ 観てほしい映画だ｡
《どこで 泣いてんだ？
Is he seriously crying over this?
But this darkness will make the job easier.
だが この暗がりなら 仕事も しやすいわ｡
Right from behind.
後ろから… ｽﾞﾌﾞﾘと…！》
One stab.
Hey. You there!
おい そこの！ ｸﾞｽｸﾞｽｸﾞｽｸﾞｽ うるせえよ！
Your sniveling is too loud.
I can't hear a thing.
全然 聞こえねえよ！ 今 ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛ なんつったんだ？
What did Pedro just say?
ﾋﾟﾝﾎﾟﾝﾀﾞｯｼｭが な～に？ (土方)あっ すまねえ…｡
What was it about Ping-Pong Dash?
Sorry. Seems Pedro and that girl are about to...
ﾍﾟﾄﾞﾛは どうやら あの子に ﾋﾟﾝﾎﾟﾝ…｡ ぶぉっ!!
You again! What's with you?!
また ﾃﾒｴか!! なんだ ﾃﾒｴ!?
ｵﾚの行くところ 行くところ 現れやがって～!!
Showing up everywhere I go!
こっちのｾﾘﾌだ ﾎﾞｹ｡ なんだ？ 友達になりたいのか？
That's my line, stupid!
What? You desperate for friends or something?!
友達になりたいのか～？ ｱﾎか！
You wanna be friends?
Idiot!
な～んか 後ろで ﾎﾟｯﾌﾟｺｰﾝ もっさもっさ➡
I wondered who the annoying guy munching on popcorn behind me was!
うるせえﾔﾂがいると思ったら…｡
Get out! Get out right now!
出ていけ｡ すぐ 出ていけ！ うるせえ！
Shut up!
歯の裏側についた ﾎﾟｯﾌﾟｺｰﾝとるのに 夢中になってたらなぁ➡
I was just trying to get some popcorn out from between my teeth!
Now you've made me lose track of the whole story!
もう 映画の内容に➡
ついていけなく なっちまったんだよ～！
もう わけわかんねえんだよ！ もう ｵﾚには➡
I may as well just finish my popcorn and leave!
ﾎﾟｯﾌﾟｺｰﾝしか ねえんだよ～!!
That's what happens when a samurai eats such frivolous foods.
侍のくせに んな うわついたもん 食ってるから➡
こんなことになんだ！ ﾊﾞｶか ﾃﾒｴは！
You an idiot or something?
(土方)ﾎﾟｯﾌﾟｺｰﾝみてえな 頭しやがって！
Popcorn head! I hope your head pops!
はじけるのは 頭だけにしとけ！ ぶわっ！
I don't want to hear that from a mayo samurai!
ﾏﾖﾗｰ侍に 言われたかねえんだよ！
How do you set that slicked-down hair of yours?!
その ﾋﾟｯﾀﾘﾍｱｰ どうやって ｾｯﾄしてんだ～？
With mayonnaise or something?!
ﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞで ｾｯﾄしてんじゃねえの！
ううっ…！ 表 出ろ ｺﾗ～！
Step outside! What offering do you want me to put by your gravestone?
墓前には 何を供えてほしい！ 小豆か？ ﾎﾟｯﾌﾟｺｰﾝか？
Red beans? Popcorn?
ｲﾀﾀﾀ… ちょっ… 痛いって！
What?!
Ow ow ow ow. That hurts!
Hey! Keep it down, you guys!
(客)おい！ お前ら うっせえんだよ!!
If you're gonna fight, take it outside.
(客)ｹﾝｶなら 外でやれ！ 迷惑なんだよ!!
You're bothering people!
(怒声)
What's the matter with you losers?
なんだ？ ﾃﾒｴら｡
Watching this crappy movie in the middle of the day.
昼間っから こんな ｸｿ映画 観やがって！
Go to work, lazy people.
暇人どもが 働け～！ と➡
That's what this guy in the sedge hat said.
この編笠が 言ってました！ はぁ～っ!?
Huh?!
こっちは ｲﾗｲﾗしてんだ｡ かかってこいや➡
"I'm pissed. Come up here and fight!" He said that too.
とも 言ってました｡ 待て～！ なんで ｵﾚが…!?
Wait! Why would I...?!
(客)上等だ ｺﾗ～!!
Fine! Let's do this!
Get him!
(客)やっちまえ～!!
よいしょ～!!
Ow ow ow! Just a minute!
ｲﾃﾃﾃ！ ちょっと待って…！
Now's my chance. If I can use the confusion to...
《次男:ｼﾒた！ この混乱に乗じて しとめれば！》
...finish him...
(次男)あっ…!!
[Note: Satou Youko, the Art Director of this Episode, is listed in the credits]
Everyone.
(屁怒絽)皆さ～ん！
Let's just quietly watch the movie.
映画は 静かに観ましょう｡
[THE END]
♪♪～
This movie makes me cry.
泣けるね この映画…｡
お… おのれ…｡
Damn Hijikata and that silver-haired guy.
土方と あの銀髪め…！ 次こそは 必ず しとめる！
I'll get them for sure next time.
I will avenge my younger brothers.
(長男)弟たちの敵だ！
Why do I have to be so exhausted on my day off?
《土方:な～んで 休日に こんなに 疲れなきゃならねえんだ｡
Everywhere I go, I run into that bastard.
行くとこ行くとこ あの野郎に 出くわしちまう｡
認めたくねえが➡
I hate to admit it, but it seems we almost think alike.
どうやら ｵﾚとﾔﾂの思考は 似通っているらしい…》
《ひとっ風呂浴びて ﾏｯｻｰｼﾞﾁｪｱで 昼寝してえ気分だ…｡
I feel like taking a hot bath and a nap in a massage chair.
But I won't be tricked again.
だが だまされんぞ｡ ｵﾚが 今 考えているということは➡
The fact that I'm thinking this now means he's probably thinking the same thing.
おそらく ﾔﾂも そう考える｡
So I should say the opposite and go where he doesn't want to go...
つまり 逆をいって ｵﾚが 今 行きたくない所へ➡
行けばいい… と ﾔﾂは 考えていそうなので➡
but he's probably thinking that too,
so I have to use reverse psychology and head straight for the Spa Land.
ｵﾚは さらに その逆をついて➡
ｽﾄﾚｰﾄに 健康ﾗﾝﾄﾞに行けばいいと思います｡
Huh? Did I just write a composition? He's thinking the same thing, so...
あれ？ 作文？ とか ﾔﾂは 考えているので…》
I'll do the opposite of the opposite!
ｵﾚは その 逆の逆だぁぁ～っ!!
土方く～ん… いいかげんにしてくれ！
Hijikata-kun, cut it out already.
I thought you'd show up again at the place I wanted to go,
ｵﾚはな… ｵﾚが 行こうとするところは➡
また お前が 来てんじゃねえかと思って…｡
逆に行きたくないところに 行こうと思ったけど➡
so I thought of going where I didn't want to go,
お前のために 行きたくねえ所に 行くのは ｲﾔだったので➡
but I didn't like the idea of going where I don't want to go because of you,
自分に素直に生きます！
so I'll be true to myself and...
Then, I thought, "Was that just a composition?" And came here.
ん？ あれ 作文？ とか思って ここに来たら このｻﾞﾏか！
Dammit. Only the "composition" part matched.
(土方)ﾁｷｼｮｳ！ ｢あれ 作文？｣しか 合ってねえじゃねえか！
お前の思考を深読みしたｵﾚが ﾊﾞｶだった！
I was a fool to try to read too deeply into your psyche.
まぁいい… これだけ顔を合わせちまうのも➡
Well, never mind.
It must be some kind of destiny that we keep meeting like this.
何かの縁かもしれねえ…｡ とりあえず出ていけ！
Now get outta here.
なんで ｵﾚが お前の指図を受けなきゃならねえ｡
Why do I have to take directions from you?
出ていくなら お前が出ていけ！
If someone's leaving, it should be you.
おいおい お前は小学生か？
Hey, are you a primary school kid or something?
ｵﾚは こうして 顔をつきあわせてると➡
If we keep meeting like this, we'll get into a fight,
どうせ またｹﾝｶになるから➡
so it'd be best if we didn't meet at all.
顔合わせねえでいこうと 至極 大人の意見を言ったんだよ！
It's a very mature idea.
So you should be the one to leave.
だから ﾃﾒｴが出ていけばいいだろう｡
だから お前 それを言うなよ！ ｵﾚが今 出ていこうと思ったのに➡
Look, you, don't say that!
I was thinking of leaving,
お前に言われてから 出てってたら➡
but if I leave after you tell me to, then it's as though I followed your orders!
お前に 従ったことになんだろうが！
もう出れねえだろうが！ 察しろよ ｶﾞｷ!!
Now I can't leave!
Try to understand, brat!
うるせえ！ お前もｶﾞｷだろうが!!
Shut up! You're a brat!
言っとくけど ﾃﾒｴが出るまで ｵﾚは出ねえぞ！
Let me make this clear: I'm not leaving until you do.
(土方) ふざけんな！ ｵﾚも出ねえぞ｡
Who're you kidding! I'm not leaving either.
《長男:ﾌｯ… ２人 ﾊﾞｶなところも似ているようだな｡
Their stupidity is so alike.
ここで 意地を張り合っているがいい！》
Never mind. Just get out.
You can both keep on arguing in here.
You get out!
Waste away.
《長男:鎖 巻いて これ立てて… ひからびるまでな！》
I'll just put this here.
Until you shrivel up.
おい いいかげんにしとけよ｡
Hey, enough already.
お前 全身 汗だくじゃねえか｡
You're covered with sweat.
脱水症状で ぶっ倒れるぞ！ ｵﾚは大丈夫だけど…｡
You'll collapse from dehydration.
I'm fine, though.
そんなﾔﾜじゃねえんだよ｡
I'm not so weak.
お前こそ 笑顔が ひきつってるぞ｡
Your smile's twitching.
水 飲みてえだろ？ ｵﾚは大丈夫だけど…｡
You need a drink of water, don't you?
I'm fine, though.
いや お前より ｵﾚのほうが大丈夫だ｡
No, I'm more okay than you.
いや お前の大丈夫より ｵﾚの大丈夫のほうが でかい！
No, my okay is better than your okay.
そんなことぬかしてるが➡
That's what you say, but I know you're struggling.
本当は しんどいのは わかってんだ｡
I can see right through you.
ﾃﾒｴのﾊﾗは読めてんだよ｡
ﾊﾞｶ言っちゃいかんよ！ ｵﾚは ｻｳﾅ大好きだからね｡
Don't be ridiculous.
I love saunas.
蒸すのが大好きでね！ こないだもね➡
I love to steam.
The other day, I steamed buns for Shinpachi.
新八たちに 蒸しﾊﾟﾝ作ってやったら➡
ひいてたね！ 凝りすぎたね ありゃ｡
I get carried away.
なんなら もっと 室温 上げるか？
Shall I raise the temperature in here?
I like it hotter, you see.
ｵﾚは もっと 熱いのが好きなんだよ｡
《ひぃ～っ！ さらに 室温を上昇させやがった!!》
What?! He raised the temperature even higher.
足りねえよ… ﾊﾞｹﾂの水 全部 入れろ｡
Not enough. Pour the entire bucket in.
《ｱｲﾂら ﾊﾞｶ!? お前ら 閉じ込められてんだよ！
Those fools!
You're sealed in there, you know! You can't get out!
こっから 出れねえんだよ！》
あぁ～… 極楽だぜ！
Hijikata, Paradise!
ｱﾄﾞﾚﾅﾘﾝが ものっそいことになってるな｡
What an adrenaline rush.
Now, you'll really go to Paradise.
《長男:いや ﾎﾝﾄ 極楽いっちゃうから…》
Nothing like risking your life!
ﾑﾘすんなよ！ そろそろ 意識朦朧としてんじゃねえの？
Don't force yourself.
Aren't you just about unconscious yet?
ﾕｰ！ 降参しちゃいなよ ﾕｰ｡
Give up, you.
言っとくけど ｵﾚはしないよ いや ﾎﾝﾄ！
Just so you know, I'm not giving up. Really.
Hey! Who does he think he's talking to?!
《長男:お～い！ 誰と しゃべってんの？
Who're you talking to?!
誰と しゃべってんの!?》 (土方)そろそろ限界のようだな｡
Looks like you've reached your limit.
あれ？ 全然 このﾀﾊﾞｺ 味しねえぞ｡
Huh? This cigarette has no taste.
That's not a cigarette!
《長男:いや それﾀﾊﾞｺじゃないから ﾀﾊﾞｺじゃないよ》
ｵﾒｴよ ﾎﾝﾄ ﾏｼﾞ いいかげんにしてくんない？
Seriously, give it up already.
なに？ 何なの？ お前は｡ こんなところで死ぬつもりか？
What? What is it with you?
You plan on dying here?
こんな くだらん 意地の張り合いで…｡
Because of your stupid stubbornness?
お前みたいなﾔﾂでも 死んだら 悲しむﾔﾂが いっぱいいるの！
Even a guy like you has a lot of people who would mourn your death!
それでも降参しないなんて それは ｴｺﾞだよ｡
If you still won't give up, it's just your ego!
ﾊﾞｶ野郎だよ！ お前は｡
You're an idiot!
悪いことは言わねえ 降参しろって…｡
For your own good, give up!
頼むから… 300円あげるから｡
Please. I'll give you 300 yen.
300円で 誰が動くか!?
Who'd give up for 300 yen?!
《なんて ﾊﾞｶなﾔﾂらなんだ｡ でも なんでだ？
They are such fools.
So why, why is it...
こんなﾊﾞｶなﾔﾂらなのに なんで こんなに胸が…｡
Why am I so moved by these fools?
We samurai of the Anti-Alien Faction risk our lives for our country.
国のために命を懸ける ｵﾚたち攘夷志士｡
こんなくだらんことにも 命を懸けられるｺｲﾂら…｡
These men who can put their lives on the line for something this silly... Is it any different?
そこに違いなんて…》
おい…｡
Hey...
ﾌﾌｯ… ったく 大した野郎だよ ﾃﾒｴは｡
Man, you are a piece of work...
まいったよ… どうやら この勝負➡
I give up. Looks like this match...
ｵﾚの負けらしい｡
is yours.
おい！
Hey!
S-Sorry to impose, but tell those guys...
すまねえが ｱｲﾂらに伝えてくれ｡
あばよ… って｡
Bye-Bye.
You...
ﾃﾒｴ… ｵﾚは 面倒はごめんだ｡
That's too much work for me.
ｿｲﾂは 自分で伝えるんだな｡
Go tell them yourself.
《できん… ｵﾚに あんな熱いﾔﾂらを殺すことは➡
I can't do it. I can't kill such courageous men...
できん！》
I can't.
Hey!
おい！ お前ら 早く出てこい!! えっ!?
You guys! Quickly get out!
な～んて！ 甘えんだよ ﾃﾒｴは!! あっ！
Just kidding! Sucker!
What?!
ﾃﾒｴのﾊﾗは 読めるって言っただろう！
I told you-I can read you like a book!
(３人)うわぁ～！
Owwww...
ｲﾀﾀﾀ…｡ ﾁｯ 引き分けか…｡
Tsk, a draw.
いや ｵﾒｴのほうが 絶対 先に出てった！
No, you totally got out first!
いいや ｵﾒｴのほうが…｡ (２人)ん？
No, you did!
あれ？ 誰だ？ ｺｲﾂ｡
What?
Who is this guy?
[Whatever You Play, Play To Win]
(よっちゃん) 神楽ちゃん み～っけ！
Kagura-chan, found you!
(よっちゃん)缶 ふん…｡ (神楽)うおぉぉ～っ！
I kicked...
the can!
(よっちゃん)だぱんぷ！
Yot-chan!
(しんちゃん)よっちゃん！
Get a hold of yourself, Yot-chan!
(しんちゃん) しっかりしろ！ よっちゃん!!
Hey, dummy!
(けんちゃん)ﾃﾒｴ このｱﾏ！ 缶から１ﾒｰﾄﾙ付近に入ったら➡
The rule is no kicking if one of us is within one meter of the can!
もう蹴るのなしって言ったべや！
Never heard of such a wimpy rule.
知らんなぁ～ そんな甘っちょろいﾙｰﾙ｡
(よっちゃん)もうｲﾔだ～！ ｺｲﾂ 手加減ってもん知らねえんだもん｡
Forget it! She doesn't know how to hold back!
缶蹴りごときで ﾑｷになりやがって ﾊﾞ～ｶ！
You go way too far for kick the can. Stupid!
(よっちゃん)お前なんか もう遊んでやんねえからな！
We won't play with you anymore. Stupid. Stupid.
(よっちゃん)ﾊﾞｰｶ ﾊﾞｰｶ！ (しんちゃん)ﾊﾞｰｶ!!
Hmph.
ﾌﾝ しゃばいﾔﾂらｱﾙ｡
Wimps.
Going all out is what makes a game fun.
遊びは ﾑｷになってやるから おもしろいね｡
(師匠)ﾑｯﾌｯﾌｯ… よう言った！
Well said. That's exactly right.
(師匠)そのとおりじゃ！
Because when you go all out, you perform at a level above your abilities.
(師匠)ﾑｷになればこそ 人は 力量以上の力を出せる｡
何でも必死にやれば つまらぬことも➡
If you try as hard as you can at everything you do, even the boring becomes fun.
おもしろきことになろうて…｡
Everything in the world is just one big game.
世のこと これ すべて遊びと同じよ｡
(師匠)嬢ちゃん どうじゃ！ ｵﾚと缶蹴りやってみんか？
Young lady, how about it? Want to play "kick the can" with me?
知らないｵｯｻﾝと遊んじゃﾀﾞﾒって 銀ちゃんが言ってたね｡
Gin-chan says I shouldn't play with strange men I don't know.
(師匠)知らないじじいなら ええじゃろ？
But it's okay if it's an old guy you don't know, right?
ﾀﾞﾒね！ 男は みんなｹﾀﾞﾓﾉね｡
No. All men are scum.
若いのに ｶﾞｰﾄﾞが固いのぅ｡
You're young, but very street smart.
I like you even more now.
ますます気に入ったわい｡
ならば 保護者同伴なら どうじゃ？
Then how about we ask your folks to join us, eh?
ｶﾞｷ扱いすんじゃねえよ ｸｿじじい！
Don't treat me like a kid, you old fart!
Isn't that Kagura-chan?
(新八)あっ あれ 神楽ちゃんじゃないすか？
あぁ いたいた… お～い！
Yeah, there she is. Hey!
(女性)ﾋﾞｯｸﾘしたわぁ…｡
I was shocked.
この前まで あんなに元気だったのにね｡
He seemed so healthy just a while back.
(服部)おとついの晩 急に倒れまして…｡
He suddenly collapsed two nights ago.
ﾎﾞｸらも もちろん 当の本人が いちばんﾋﾞｯｸﾘしてると思いますよ｡
We were surprised, but I think he was even more surprised.
(女性)ﾎﾝﾄねぇ… 人間 明日は どうなる身かわからないわ ﾎﾝﾄ｡
So true. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring, that's for sure.
まぁ 全ちゃんも あんまり 気を落とさないで…｡
Please don't let this depress you too much, Zen-chan.
Yes. Thank you very much.
(服部) はい ありがとうございます｡
ったく めんどくせえな…｡
This is such a drag.
なんで あのｸｿ親父のために➡
Why do I have go through all these suffocating formalities for my stinking old man?
こんな堅苦しいこと しなきゃいけねえんだよ｡
あぁ!? 缶蹴り？
Kick the can?
Yeah. The old man wants us all to play together. Let's do it.
うん｡ あのじじいが みんなでやろうって｡
やろうよ！ なに言ってんの？ お前｡
What're you saying?
知らねえｵｯｻﾝと遊ぶなって 脇が酸っぱくなるほど言ったろ！
I told you until my underarms went sour, do not talk to men you don't know.
You're a fool. Do you want to get kidnapped?
ﾊﾞｶか？ お前は！ さらわれてえのか？
ｵｯｻﾝじゃない！ じじいじゃ｡ ええじゃろ？
He's not any man, he's an "old" man. Isn't that okay?
黙れ！ 男は みんなｹﾀﾞﾓﾉだ!! もう行くぞ！
Quiet. Men are all scum.
Let's go.
知らねえ じじいより 知ってる ばばあだ！
Better an old woman you know than an old man you don't.
なんか 焼き肉 食わせてくれるらしいぞ 珍しく｡
She's treating us to yakiniku. That doesn't happen too often.
これからの時代 じじいより ばばあだ｡
In these times, old ladies are better than old men.
すげえぞ！ ばばあは…｡
Old ladies are awesome, you know.
苦しいとき そんなとき 頼りになる ばばあ｡ 略して…｡
In times of pain... In such times... You can rely on a granny. In other words...
[In Times of Pain]
[In Such Times]
[Kusobaba]
[Old Bitch]
(お登勢) ｸｿﾊﾞﾊﾞｱじゃねえか この野郎！
That spells "Old Bitch," you idiot!
Hey!
(師匠)お～い！
It's okay, let's play. Just kick the old hag. Er can!
ｵﾚが 鬼やってやるからやろうぜ！ 缶 蹴ってくれよ 缶!!
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)しつけえな！ ｸｿじじい!! おい ほっとけって！
How dare you! You old fart!
Hey, leave it alone!
You want me to kick it? I'll kick it for ya!
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)そんなに蹴ってほしいなら 蹴ってやらあ～！
Bring that back within twenty seconds, and we'll play with you, old fart.
あれ 20秒以内に拾ってきな｡
そしたら 遊んでやるよ ｸｿじじい｡
ﾜﾙ！ ﾜﾙだよ!!
You're evil. Pure evil!
(神楽)ｷｬｻﾘﾝ！ ﾃﾒｴ 年寄り いじめてんじゃねえよ！
Catherine, don't abuse the elderly!
お黙り！ ｱﾀｲは ﾀﾝﾊﾟｸ質が 摂りたくて ｳｽﾞｳｽﾞしてんだ!!
Shut up. I've got to eat. I need some protein.
さぁ ばばあの気が 変わらないうちに行くよ！
Come on, let's go before the old hag changes her mind!
Catherine, get out of here and watch the shop.
ｷｬｻﾘﾝ お前は帰って 店番な｡
年寄りを いたわれないﾔﾂが➡
If you're not nice to the elderly, don't expect the elderly to be nice to you.
年寄りに 優しくしてもらえると思うなよ｡
What are you saying?
なに言ってんすか｡
You're not a senior citizen, Otose-san.
お登勢さんは 年寄りなんかじゃないですよ｡
You're still young and vibrant.
まだ ﾋﾟﾁﾋﾟﾁよ｡
Okay, I got the can!
(師匠)よ～し 缶 拾ってきたぜ！
Let's start the game!
缶蹴り 開始～！
(剛)しかし 惜しい人を亡くしたな｡
It's a pity we lost such a great man.
Even the most formidable warrior of the Oniwabanshu could not defeat old age.
お庭番最強の男も 歳には勝てなんだか｡
な～に 言ってんだ｡
What're you talking about?
He was nothing more than a good-for-nothing old perv who was out all year long.
あんなもん 年じゅう ぶらついてる➡
ただの遊び人じゃねえか｡
You don't know how much trouble he caused me.
おかげで ｵﾚが どれだけ迷惑したか｡
No, no. No mere pervert could be a teacher at Ninja School.
いやいや ただの遊び人に➡
忍者学校の教官は つとまらんぞ｡
今 江戸で活躍する忍者は➡
All the renowned ninja in Edo these days were brought up by your father.
み～んな お前の親父さんに 育てられたようなもんだ｡
You call him a good-for-nothing, but I loved that mischievous side of him.
それに 遊び人 遊び人というが➡
ｵﾚは あの人の➡
そういう ちゃめっ気の あるところが 大好き…｡
Master!
(さっちゃん)お師匠～っ!!
(剛)ぐはっ！
Wh...huh? I got here as fast as I could when I heard he was in critical condition.
あれ？ お師匠 今夜が峠だって聞いて➡
とんで来たんだけど…｡
Dad already died. The critical night was two nights ago.
(服部)親父なら もう死んだぞ｡
一昨日の夜が峠だ｡ えっ そんな！
What? That can't be!
(さっちゃん)お師匠！ 峠の あんちきしょ～!!
Master! Damn crucial night!
Hey, the guy being bent in half under your feet might be in a crisis too.
(服部)おい お前の下のﾔﾂも 峠を迎えてるぞ｡
He's in a V-shape.
今夜は Ｖの字になってるぞ｡ あっ｡
Oh...
(お登勢)はぁ… さっさと終わらせておくれよ｡
Let's just quickly end this.
ﾑﾌﾌﾌ… たまらんぞ この緊張感｡
I just love this tension.
I feel like I'm a kid again.
まるで ｶﾞｷの頃に戻ったようじゃ｡
Are y'all ready, boys and girls?!
準備は できたかい？ よい子の みんな！
じじい いっきま～す！
Here comes the old man!
Where're you headed? The afterlife?
どこへだ？ あの世にか｡
ったく なんで あんな 見ず知らずのじじいに➡
Man, why do we have to play with an old geezer we don't even know?
つきあわなきゃならねえんだ｡
All I wanted was to eat yakiniku.
焼き肉 食べに来たのに｡
I'm starving.
もうﾎﾞｸ お腹ﾍﾟｺﾍﾟｺなんで➡
I'm sorry, old guy, but I'll just let myself get caught so we can end this game quickly.
おじいちゃんには悪いけど➡
適当に捕まって 早く切り上げません？
How dare you say such a thing!
ふざけるなぁ！
You're choosing to lose without even trying?
何の努力もせずに 自ら 負けを選ぶとは➡
You call yourself a soldier?!
ｷｻﾏ それでも軍人か!?
We call people like you losers!
ｷｻﾏのようなﾔﾂを 総じて 負け犬というんだ！
Sergeant, please refer this loser to the military tribunal.
軍曹 この負け犬を軍法会議に…｡
Don't bark so loud, Private Chihuahua.
でかい声で鳴くな ﾁﾜﾜ｡
If we have to play...we're not gonna lose.
なんであれ やるからには 負けるつもりはねえ｡
Yakiniku tastes way better after a win than a defeat, Sergeant.
焼き肉も 負けて食うより 勝って食うほうが➡
うまいであります 軍曹｡ そのとおりだ ﾁﾜﾜ 一等兵｡
You said it, PFC Chihuahua.
缶蹴りなんざ 所詮 ｶﾞｷの遊びよ｡
Kick the can is but a child's game.
鬼に見つかる前に あの缶を倒せば 勝ち｡
You win if you topple that can before you're spotted by "It".
要は見つからずに あの缶を 倒す方法を 見つければいい｡
You need a strategy to knock it over without being detected.
With that in mind...
そういうことで 発射用意｡ ｱｲｱｲｻｰ！
Get ready to fire.
Aye aye, Sir!
Is that what you call kick the can, Sergeant?
それは缶蹴りって いうんですか 軍曹！
It's kick the can in its purest form.
缶蹴りだ 純然たる｡
小さい頃を思い出してみろ｡
Remember your childhood days.
Remember when you were the kid who cried
風で 缶が飛ばされて➡
because the hostages he caught were freed when the wind blew over the can.
せっかく捕まえた人質が ﾊﾟｰになって➡
泣いている鬼が いたろう！ あれがありなら これも…｡
If that can happen, then so can this.
You can't do that. That was just an act of nature!
なしだろう！ 自然現象でも何でもねえし!!
ｷｻﾏは甘いんだよ！ 缶蹴りはなぁ➡
You're too soft!
The whole joy of kick the can is to knock the can over by any means necessary
いかに憎たらしく 缶を倒し➡
and then enjoy watching "It" cry in despair!
鬼をいじめ 泣かせるか➡
そういう 悪魔の遊びでもあるんだよ｡
I don't know how many times the can got knocked over,
鬼になったら もう終わりなんだよ！
何回も何回も 缶 倒されて➡
and how many times I cried as I pretended to count to 100 while everyone hid.
みんなが隠れるまで 100 数える間に➡
数 数えるふりして 何回 泣いたことか｡
そんな 苦くも甘酸っぱい遊び…➡
It's a game of triumph and tears...
That's kick the can!
それが 缶蹴りだぁ～！
(師匠の叫び声)
Hey! This isn't kick the can, it's murder!
おい～！ 缶蹴りどころか 人殺しぃ～!!
これは 純然たる人殺しだよ～！
Pure murder!
Chihuahua! Who ordered you to hit the old man?
ﾁﾜﾜ！ 誰が じじいに当てろと言った～!!
Sergeant! Begging the Sergeant's pardon, but that grenade was thrown by you!
軍曹！ お言葉ですが➡
あれは軍曹の投げた球であります｡
軍法会議ものですよ これは！
This is a matter for the military tribunal!
普通に裁判沙汰だよ 人殺しがぁ！
This isn't fantasyland!!
You've killed him!!
ちょっと待て！
Wait a minute!
Up we go.
よっこいしょっと｡ 起きた 普通に起きた！
He got up like nothing happened!
Tsk!
ﾁｯ！ くたばれ ｸｿじじい!!
Die, old man!
You're not playing kick the can anymore!
だから 缶蹴りじゃねえって！
おりゃ～！
He's guarding the can with his cane!
杖で缶を！ ﾁｯ｡ なんだ？ あの身のこなし｡
Tsk.
How is he moving like that?
I see you. There you are.
み～っけた！ そこじゃ～｡
Yikes! A kunai!
いっ くない！
な 何者だ！
Wh...Who is he?
What? Kick the can?
(さっちゃん)えっ 缶蹴り？ (薫)あら あなた忘れたの？
Oh, have you forgotten?
師匠の授業で よく やってたじゃない｡
We played it a lot in Master's class.
Kick the can demanded the ability to hide yourself and make instantaneous decisions.
缶蹴りは 身を隠したり 即座の判断力が必要だったりで➡
まんま 隠密な仕事と同じなのよ｡
Making it exactly like an agent's work.
So as part of our ninja training, we played kick the can a lot, remember?
それで 忍の修業の１つとして➡
みんなで よく 缶蹴りしたじゃな～い｡
Oh that. We did.
あぁ あれか やった｡
そういや やったわ｡ 楽しかったなぁ あれ ﾊﾊ…｡
Now that you mention it. It was fun.
If you can't remember, don't pretend like you do, okay?
覚えてないなら ﾑﾘしないでくれる？
And why'd you come to the funeral dressed like that?
つ～か あなた お葬式に なんて格好で来てんの｡
今夜が峠だと思ったら Ｖの字だったのよ｡
I thought tonight was the crucial night and came straight over.
I looked at it like taking a drive, you know, because it was "over the hill."
ﾄﾞﾗｲﾌﾞ感覚だったの｡ 峠だけに ﾄﾞﾗｲﾌﾞ感覚だったの｡
峠に その格好も どうよ？
It was the crucial night, but you came dressed like that?
Anyway, I can't forget the smile on Master's face as he played kick the can.
それにしてもねぇ 私➡
あの 缶蹴りのときの 師匠の笑顔が➡
忘れられないの｡
I think he had more fun than we did.
私たちより楽しんでたじゃない｡
ﾎﾝﾄ 子供のような人で｡
He really was like a big kid.
だから 子供たちからも 慕われてたのよね きっと｡
I'm sure that's why all the kids loved him.
ｹｯ なに言ってやがんでぇ どいつもｺｲﾂも｡
What're you all of you talking about?
ﾇﾊﾊﾊﾊ～！
ぬおぉ～！ (師匠)ﾑﾀﾞﾑﾀﾞ～！
You're wasting your time!
ｵﾚに 足で勝てると思ったのかぁ!?
Did you think you could beat me with your legs?
ﾒｶﾞﾈ君 み～っけ！
Found you, four-eyes!
ﾌｯ 作戦に はまりましたね｡
You fell for my trap.
缶蹴りで １人の獲物を 深追いするなんて➡
A classic error in kick the can... over-pursuing one target!
愚の骨頂｡
ﾌﾊﾊﾊ…！ しまっ…｡
Dang...
That can is wide open!
あっちの缶が がら空きだぜ！
ｱﾀﾞﾀﾞﾀﾞ… 頭 削れた 頭 おろしちまった！
Scraped my head! My head's been grated!!
(師匠)ｷﾞｬﾊﾊﾊ…！ ﾊﾞ～ｶ 銀髪もみ～っけ!!
Fools! Found you, too, Silver Hair!
新八～！ はい～！
Shinpachi!
Here!
Now, I step on the ca...
おりゃ～！
(師匠)缶 踏ん…｡ させるかぁ！
Over my dead body!
Found you, four-eyes and Silver Hair.
ﾒｶﾞﾈと銀髪 み～っけ！
I stepped on the can.
(師匠)缶 踏んだ！
Uh... My father loved playing kick the can.
(服部)えぇ～ 私の父はですね 大変な 缶蹴り好きでして➡
私が小さい頃なんかは よく一緒に やったりしてですね｡
When I was little we often played it together.
(服部)｢ｳﾁのお父さんは なんていい お父さんなんだろう｡
What a wonderful father he was to me.
But he didn't pay too much attention to me, and it got in the way of his work.
でも あんまり ﾎﾞｸに気を遣わないで｡
仕事に差し支えるわ｣ なんてことをですね➡
That was how I saw at it.
思ったんですが｡
Even after I became an adult, he'd invite me to play.
ﾎﾞｸが成人してもですね まだ誘ってくるんですよ｡
I'd think, "What? That's odd? It was just Dad who wanted to play."
あれ おかしいぞ？ と…｡
これは お父さん 自分が やりたかっただけ？
That's how it seemed.
みたいな感じみたいな｡
Really, it's like he went straight from being a kid to being an old man.
ﾎﾝﾄ 子供が そのまま じじいになったような親父でね｡
いつも なんだか楽しそうでまぁ➡
He always seemed happy.
Which used to bother me when I was a teenager, but...
思春期には ときどき ｲﾗｯとしましたが➡
反面 羨ましくもあって｡
on the other hand, I envied him.
Kagura-chan, I see you.
神楽ちゃん み～っけ！
(服部)人間 大人になるのは 意外と簡単ですがね｡
It's rather simple for people to become adults,
but... it's not so easy to maintain a kid-like spirit
ｶﾞｷみてえな 何でも楽しむ心を 持ち続けるのは➡
なかなか できねえもんですね｡
where you can enjoy everything.
And for that, yes, I must admire him.
そういう点では ﾎﾝﾄ 尊敬できる親父でした｡
There is just one thing, however, that I can never forgive...
ただ１つだけね ちょっと 心残りもあって…｡
That bastard sold all my JUMP to a used book store
あの野郎！ ｵﾚの ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣ 古本屋に全部 売り飛ばして➡
and bought a shit-load of porno DVDs!
ｴﾛＤＶＤ 大量に 買い込んでやがってね！
ﾎﾝﾄ それだけは悔しくってね｡
That makes me so angry!
Oh, forgive me for losing it.
あっ すみません｡ 取り乱して…｡
But it makes me so angry, it brings tears to my eyes...
でも ﾎﾝﾄ悔しくってね 涙がね…｡
え～ まぁ いろいろ言いましたが➡
I've said many things, but in summary, he was a crappy father.
総合すると ﾀﾞﾒ親父ってことでね｡
That's how he was, so he might come to your place and haunt you.
まぁ そんな親父ですから 皆さんのところに➡
化けて出ることも あるかもしれません｡
When he does,
そんなときは どうか 一緒に缶蹴りしてやってください｡
please play kick the can with him.
(缶を蹴る音)
ん？ どうした？
Huh?
What is it?
(さっちゃん)いや 今 ちょっとだけ➡
I thought I just saw him smile a little.
笑ったような気がしたから｡
What're you talking about? He's always had a smile.
(服部)なに言ってんだ｡
元から にやけたﾂﾗだろ｡
His face always ticked me off.
腹立つ顔してんなぁ ﾎﾝﾄ｡
[Preview]
The next episode... "Life Without Gambling Is Like Sushi Without Wasabi!"
[The Legendary Tsukiyomi no Kanbei is no small fry.]
[Kada the Princess Peacock reigns over the casino. She is one of the Four Emperors of Kabukicho.]
＜守らないと 恐ろしいことが→
起こりますよ＞
(ｹｰﾀ)そういえば このあたりで➡
変なもの見たって聞いたな｡
(ｳｨｽﾊﾟｰ)変なものとは？
ｳｨｽﾊﾟｰ ついてきてたの!?
当然どうぃす！
私めは ｹｰﾀ君の執事ですから｡ うぃす！