(いびき)
(銀時)う～ん… う～ん｡
You! How long are you going to sleep?! Good grief!
(母ちゃん)ｱﾝﾀ！ いつまで寝てんのぉ!!
ﾎﾝﾄもう！ ほら 起きる!!
Come on! Get up! Breakfast is ready!
朝ごはん できたよ！ あぁ もういいって!!
Leave me alone. I don't want breakfast.
朝いらねえって…｡ ﾊﾞｶ言ってんじゃないの！
Don't be silly! Breakfast gives your brain energy for the whole day!
朝ごはんは 一日の頭の ｴﾈﾙｷﾞｰのもとになるんだよ！
Monta Mino said so on TV!
[Note: An afternoon talk show host]
みの もんたも ﾃﾚﾋﾞで言ってたんだから！
う～ん… うわっ！
W-Wait...really, gimme a break. I have a hangover.
ちょ… もうﾎﾝﾄ ﾏｼﾞ勘弁して｡
二日酔いなんだって｡
You shouldn't drink so much at your age. Pull yourself together!
いい歳こいて そんなになるまで 飲むんじゃないの！
ｼｬｷっとしなさい！ もう!!
(神楽)なんだよ！ 朝から うるさいなぁ｡
What's with all the noise so early in the morning?
(神楽)ｲﾀｯ…｡
Good grief! You've got too much sleep in your eyes, girl. Go wash your face.
あぁ もう 女の子が そんな目ﾔﾆつけた顔で！
顔 洗ってきなさい！ うるさいｱﾙ！
Shut up. I don't take orders from anyone.
私は 誰の指図も受けないね!!
Then you leave me no choice. Come on, turn this way.
しようがないわね… どれ こっち向きなさい！
Phew! Stinky!
(神楽)うわっ くさっ！
There, all better. Girls have to keep themselves clean.
(母ちゃん)ほら きれいになった!! 女の子は きれいにしないとﾀﾞﾒ！
You're such hopeless kids.
ﾎﾝﾄに もう しようがない子たちなんだから！
ご飯 どうするの？ 大盛り？ 中盛り？
How much rice? A large serving? Medium?
じゃ 中盛りで…｡
Okay, medium.
What's the matter with you?! You're too thin!
なに言ってんの！ そんな痩せた体で!! 男の子はね➡
Boys are healthy when they're just a bit chubby!
ちょっと太ってるくらいが ちょうどいいの！
Then don't ask me in the first place. Quit nagging me.
うるせえな… じゃあ最初から聞くなよ！
Don't talk back!
口答えするんじゃないの！
You're always trying to trip me up!
ｱﾝﾀは もうﾎﾝﾄ 人の揚げ足ばっかり取って！
Good morning.
(新八)おはようございます！ あれ？ いいにおい｡
Huh? Something smells good.
あら おはよう｡ うわっ！
Oh, 'morning.
Good morning.
お… おはようございます｡
Are you people taking proper care of this puppy?!
ｱﾝﾀたち このこの世話 ちゃんとしてんの!?
You have to look after living creatures until they die, you know!
生き物は 死ぬまで面倒みなきゃ いけないんだからね！
あっ すみません｡
Oh, I'm sorry.
Never mind. Eat quickly.
(母ちゃん)いいから 早く ご飯 食べなさい！
あぁ えぇ｡
Uh...okay...
How much rice? Medium? Large?
ご飯は？ 中盛り？ 大盛り？
No, thank you. I already ate.
いや ﾎﾞｸ もう食べてきたんで…｡
What're you talking about?
なに言ってんの！ ｱﾝﾀ｡ そんなﾒｶﾞﾈかけて!!
You wear glasses! Your eyes are bad because you don't eat enough!
しっかり食べないから 目 悪くなるんだよ！
No, I don't think glasses have anything to do with it.
いや ﾒｶﾞﾈ 関係ないでしょ｡ 口答えするんじゃないの！
Don't talk back! You're always trying to trip me up!
ｱﾝﾀは もうﾎﾝﾄ 人の揚げ足ばっかり取って！
うわっ…｡
Don't leave anything in your bowls!
残さず食べるんだよ！ ちょっと ｺﾞﾐ捨ててくるから｡
I'll go put out the garbage.
Gin-san.
銀さん｡ ん？
Huh?
誰ですか？ あれ｡
Who is that?
You know. Mom.
あれだろ… 母ちゃんだろ｡
What? Yours?
えっ？ 銀さんの？
No, no. I have no family. She's yours, right? I appreciate it.
いやいや ｵﾚ 家族いねえから｡ ｵﾒｴのだろ？
すみませんね… なんか｡
I should tell you that my mother died before I was old enough to remember her.
言っとくけど ﾎﾞｸも 母さんは 物心つく前に死にました｡
She's Kagura-chan's, right?
神楽ちゃんでしょ？ 私のﾏﾐｰは もっと べっぴんｱﾙ｡
My mommy is a lot prettier. And she's in heaven now.
それに 今は 星になったよ！
Don't talk when you're eating!!
もの食べながら しゃべるんじゃないの！
Uh, I'm sorry.
あぁ すみません｡ ちゃんと噛むんだよ！
And chew it up! 20 times before swallowing!
20回 噛んでから 飲み込みな！
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
(３人)１… ２… ３… ４… ５… ６…｡
[Gin-san has a hangover, Shinpachi wears glasses, Kagura sleeps in the closet.]
[Chew your food 20 times before swallowing... Who is she? Whose mother is she?!]
["Mothers Everywhere Are All the Same"]
母ちゃんだよ… 八郎の母ちゃん｡
I'm a mother. Hachiro's mother.
八郎って誰だよ！ っつうか 八郎の母ちゃんが➡
Who the heck is Hachiro?
More importantly, why is Hachiro's mother acting like our mother?
なぜ ｳﾁで 母ちゃん やってんだよ！
Out in the country where I come from, a mother is everyone's mother
ｳﾁの田舎じゃね 母ちゃんは みんなの母ちゃん｡
子供は みんなの子供｡
and a child is everyone's child.
ｸﾞﾚｰﾄﾏｻﾞｰ気取り？ ｸﾞﾚｰﾄ･ﾏｻみたいな顔して！
A Great Mother? With a face like that, you're more like "Great Masa"...
[Note: "Great Masa" is a pro wrestler in Japan]
おい それ 何？ なんで食べてんの？
Hey, what're you doing? Why're you eating that?
ｳﾁのﾒｼ なんで食べてんの？ おい！
Why're you eating my rice?
息子に会おうと 田舎から 江戸に出てきたんだけどね➡
I came here from the country to see my son.
都会は わからないことだらけで まいったわ！
But the city is so unfamiliar that I got confused.
地下鉄とか もう迷路よ｡
The subways are like a maze. Like Wizardry.
[Note: Wizardry is a puzzle game that's been around for decades.]
『ｳｨｻﾞｰﾄﾞﾘｨｰ』よ！ おい 何杯食った？ おい｡
Hey, how many bowls are you gonna eat?
それ 何？ そのﾊﾟｰﾏは どこで あててんだ？ おい！
Where'd you get that perm? What kind of hairstyle do you call that?
なにﾊﾟｰﾏだ！ それ｡ おい!! (ｹﾞｯﾌﾟ)
で 迷って困ってるときに ここの看板 見つけてね➡
I found myself lost and I didn't know what to do until I came across your sign.
まぁ これから お世話になることだし➡
I'll be relying on your help from now on, so I thought I'd fix breakfast for you
みんな 寝てる間に 朝ごはんでもと思ってね｡
while you were asleep.
おい ちょっと それ ｵﾚのﾌﾟﾘﾝだよ！ おい｡
Hey, that's my pudding!
Is that a button? That thing above your eyebrows.
それ何？ ｽｲｯﾁ？ その 眉毛の上の… おい 自爆ｽｲｯﾁ？
Is that a self-destruct button? If I push it, will you disappear?
それ押したら いなくなってくれるの？ おい！
(母ちゃん)これ ｳﾁの息子の 八郎なんだけどさ➡
This is my son Hachiro.
５年前 江戸に上京してから 音信不通で…｡
He came to Edo five years ago, and I haven't heard from him since.
この街で働いてるのは 確かなんだよ！
I know for a fact that he's working in this town. Won't you help me find him?
一緒に捜してくれないかい？
いや 仕事なら 引き受けますけどね｡
If it's a job, we'll take it.
おばちゃん… お金とか ちゃんと持ってんの？
But lady, you do have money, right?
うっ… あぁ…｡
これ 八郎に食べさしてあげようと 思ったんだけど しかたないね｡
I was keeping this for Hachiro to eat, but I guess I have no choice.
おいおい おばちゃん… 誠意って何かね？
Hey lady, is this how you show your sincerity?
(母ちゃん)なるほど… そういうことですか！
I see...so that's how it is, huh? Corrupt, that's what this Edo megalopolis is.
(母ちゃん)つくづく腐ってるね！ ﾒｶﾞﾛﾎﾟﾘｽ江戸｡
わかったよ！ 好きにすればいい｡
I get it. Suit yourself. But let me say one thing.
ただ一つだけ 言っておく！
You'll never get true love from me!!
(母ちゃん)ｱﾝﾀに真実の愛なんて つかめやしない！
深読みしてんじゃねえ！
Don't you try to read me! You make me sick, you old hag! Money! It's about money!
気持悪いんだよ ｸｿばばあ!! 金だ！ 金!!
まぁ 報酬は その息子さんとやらから➡
Well...
I suppose we'll get the mega rewards from her son.
たんまりもらうとして… どうだ？ 見たことあるかい？
So, have you seen him?
(お登勢) とんと見かけないﾂﾗだねえ｡
Never seen him.
名前は 黒板 八郎｡
His name's Hachiro Kuroita.
名前なんざ この かぶき町じゃ あってなきようなもの｡
Here in Kabukicho, names don't mean a thing.
There are a lot of guys living here who've discarded their name and their past.
名前も過去も捨てて 生きている連中も多いからね｡
ちょっと ちょっと！ 奥さん 何？ ｳﾁの子が何？
Just a minute, madam.
Are you suggesting that my son is doing something fishy?
なんか うさんくさいことでも やってるっていうの？
いやいや そういうﾔﾂも多い って言ってんだよ この街には｡
No, no. I only said there's a lot of people like that in this town.
ｸｯ… 冗談じゃないよ！ 八郎は そんなんじゃない!!
No way! Hachiro isn't like that!
(母ちゃん)あの子は 小さい頃から 賢くて真面目で孝行者で➡
From the time he was little, that boy was smart, earnest and a devoted son.
ｱﾀｼの自慢の子だったんだい！
I have always been so proud of him!
５年前 単身江戸に出たのだって 父ちゃんが 急に死んじまって➡
Five years ago, he came out to Edo by himself because his father suddenly died
and he wanted to help our poor family.
貧乏になったｳﾁを なんとかするために…➡
That boy...
あの子…！
(母ちゃん)うぅ…｡
絶対…➡
...would never...
...become a treasure hunter.
ﾄﾚｼﾞｬｰﾊﾝﾀｰに なるって…｡ (お登勢/新八)どこが 賢い子!?
How is that smart?!
(母ちゃん)違うわよ！ あの子が 言いたかったのは➡
No! I'm sure what my boy really meant was that
きっと 幸せという名のﾄﾚｼﾞｬｰを ﾊﾝﾄしてくるって意味なのよ！
he was going to hunt for the treasure called "happiness"!
Anyway, that boy...
(母ちゃん)とにかく あの子は ﾏｼﾞﾒに やっているはず！
is working an honest job, I'm sure of it!
(母ちゃん)この欲望の街の片隅で 健気に 懸命に➡
He's working diligently, as hard as he can, with everything he's got, in a corner of this greedy town!
一生懸命 生きてるはず！ 頼むよ…➡
Please, I'm begging you!
Take me to him!
私を あの子に会わせておくれ！
(母ちゃん)一目 会って 元気で やっているかって➡
I just want to see him, and ask him, "Are you doing okay?"
[Town Doctor Whitejack] [Note: A play on Blackjack, a manga doctor]
言ってあげたいんだよ！
(看護師)あちしが知っているのは それだけなのよさ｡
That's all I know.
[Notice: No insurance accepted. No complaints allowed. ~Clinic Director]
I see... Thanks. Let me know if you hear anything.
そうか… あんがとよ｡ また 何かあったら頼むわ｡
はぁ～｡
Gin-san.
≪銀さ～ん！ ≪(神楽)銀ちゃ～ん！
Gin-chan.
こっちは ﾀﾞﾒでした｡ なんの手がかりも…｡
Nothing on my end.
Not even a clue...
私も ﾀﾞﾒね｡
No luck here, either.
This is so full of granny's scent that it's affected Sadaharu's nose.
これ おばちゃんの においが 染みつきすぎて➡
定春 鼻が おかしくなってしまったｱﾙ｡
(くしゃみ) 銀さんは？
How about you, Gin-san?
う～ん…｡
[Town Doctor Whitejack.]
ここは… 闇医者の…｡
This is...that underground doctor...
まさか…!? どうやら 孝行者の息子は➡
You're not thinking...?
Seems the devoted son has changed the face he got from his parents two or three times.
親から もらったﾂﾗ 二～三度 変えてるな…｡
整形ですか？ なんで そんな…｡
Plastic surgery? But why?
しかも ここだけじゃなく➡
And not just from here. Seems he's had work done at numerous places.
あちこちで 顔を いじり回してるようだ｡
We can't rely on this anymore.
もう ｺｲﾂは あてにならねえなぁ｡
(神楽)顔 ころころ変えるなんて まるで 犯罪者ｱﾙなぁ｡
Changing his face over and over... That's just like a criminal.
銀さん この件は➡
Gin-san, maybe we shouldn't get too deeply involved in this case.
あんまり深く つっこまないほうが いいかもしれませんね｡
Even if we found out anything more, Hachiro-san might not like it.
これ以上 何か知っても 八郎さんも 嫌がりそうだし➡
お母さんも 何も知らないほうが いいかも｡
Maybe it's better if his mother didn't know anything.
ｿｲﾂは ｵﾚたちが 決めるこっちゃねえ｡
That's not for us to decide. At any rate, we'll discuss it after we find her son.
とにもかくにも まず 孝行息子を 見つけてからの話だ｡
でも 写真は もう使えないし… どうやって？
But we can't use the photo anymore... How will we find him?
Plastic surgery doesn't change the facial bone structure much, right?
整形つったって 骨格までは なかなか 変わんねえだろう？
整形美人なんて みんな 似たようなﾂﾗしてるじゃねえか｡
Surgically altered beauties all have the same sort of look.
We can at least take a guess.
予想ぐらい つくだろう｡
Like this, maybe?
こんな感じか？ ちょっと なにやってんすか!?
Just a minute, what're you doing? That's not plastic surgery. That's just a toupee.
整形じゃないよ｡ それ ただのﾂﾞﾗですよ！
私 『ﾋﾞｭｰﾃｨｰ有明ｺﾛｼｱﾑ』 毎週 観てたね｡ やらしてよ！
I watched Beauty Ariake Coliseum every week. Let me try.
(神楽)できた！ おい～っ!!
Done!
Hey! This isn't a picture in some textbook!
教科書の写真じゃねえんだよ!!
That can't be right. What're we going to do? This is our only copy.
お前 これは ないよ｡ どうすんの？ これ｡
修復できねえよ｡ (神楽)こっから こう➡
We'll just cover it up from here to here.
ｶﾊﾞｰすればいいね｡ あれっ!?
Huh? This might be it, eh?
これ ちょっと いくね？ おい！ あぁ… そうですね｡
Yes...it looks possible. There're lots of people like this around Odaiba.
いそうですよね これ｡ お台場辺りとかに 結構…｡
No, there aren't!
って いねえよ!! どこにも いねえよ！
No one anywhere looks like this!
いても 外 出てこれねえよ!!
Even if he did look like this, he couldn't even step outside!
No, there are. There are lots of them around Neverland.
いや～ いるよ｡ ﾈﾊﾞｰﾗﾝﾄﾞ辺りに 結構！
ﾈﾊﾞｰﾗﾝﾄﾞ ねえよ！ あったとしても 外 出てこれねえよ!!
There's no Neverland!
Even if there was, he couldn't go out looking like that!
つうかなあ お前ら これ 整形じゃねえんだよ！
This isn't plastic surgery! You just added hair!
毛しか 描いてねえじゃんか！
やめだ やめだ！ やっぱ やめよう こんな仕事！
Let's just give up! Let's quit!
Let's quit this job!
[TEL]
(八郎)ｵｯｽ！ ｵﾗ 八郎｡
Wassup. This is Hachiro.
Okay, got it.
はい… わかりました｡
[TEL](八郎)今から お迎えに まいりますんで｡
I'm on my way to meet you now.
He... He does exist!
い… いた～!! ｳｿでしょ～!?
Is this for real? There he is!
ﾏ… ﾏｼﾞでか～!? い… いたぞ おい！
うぉ～っ！ どうすればいいの!? なにすればいいの!? ﾎﾞｸたち！
Wh-What'll we do? What should we do?!
Calm down!
おぉ… 落ち着け！ とりあえず ばばあ…➡
For now, call the old hag! Call her over here!
ばばあ 呼んでこい～！ お母さ～ん!!
Mom!
Huh? What's she doing? Huh...
って あれ？ なに やってんの？ あれ…｡
(神楽)ｷﾞｬﾙと ﾒﾝﾁ切り合ってるｱﾙ！ ばばあ～!!
She's staring down those gals.
Old lady!
あれは ｵﾚが なんとかすっから➡
I'll take care of it. You follow Hachiro!
お前ら 八郎を追え！ (２人)うっす！
Right!
(お咲)ちょ… なに このばばあ｡ ﾏｼﾞ ﾑｶつくんですけど～｡
What's with you, old hag? You're like seriously pissing me off.
You're like staring at me. And you're too close to me.
めっちゃ ｶﾞﾝ見してるんですけど ｳﾁらのこと｡
なに この間合い ありえなくねえ？ つうかｷﾓくね？
You make me like totally sick.
Ambulance!
救急車～!!
What're you screaming that for? What's the big idea?!
Somebody! Call an ambulance right now!
(ｷﾞｬﾙ)ちょっと なに 呼んでんの!? ありえなくねえ？
なに やってんの！ この人たち 顔色が 土色のうえ➡
These girls have turned brown and they're complaining of nausea!
吐き気を 訴えてます！
You're the one who's sick, old lady! You're seriously pissing me off!
ﾃﾒｴが ｷﾓいって 言ったんだよ ばばあ！
ﾏｼﾞ ﾑｶつくんだけど～！
Hey, Mom, hurry over here.
おい 母ちゃん 早く こっち来い！
Sorry. She's from the country, so give her a break.
悪いな｡ 田舎者だから 許してやってくれ｡
Stop that, Gin-san. Look at those girls' faces!
(母ちゃん)ﾀﾞﾒよ 銀さん｡ あの子たちの顔 見て｡
That's the same complexion my husband had before he died!
あれ 父ちゃんが死んだときと 同じ顔色よ！
Oh yeah, that. They were born in a manure pool.
あぁ あれな… 肥だめから 生まれてきたんだよ あれ｡
What's that supposed to mean, you?!
(ｷﾞｬﾙ)それ どういう意味だ ｺﾗ～！ そういう意味だ！
Just that. I'm busy, so go back to your manure pool.
忙しいから 肥だめに帰れ！
Hold up. Hold up. What's going on?
(勘吉)ちょっと ちょっと！ な～に～？
お咲ちゃん 何か もめ事？
Osaki-chan, is there trouble?
(勘吉たち)ｲﾔ～｡ 勘吉さ～ん！
Kankichi-san!
なんかさ～ この ﾀﾞｯｾｰ親子が 私らに絡んできて～！
This lame mother and son are giving us a hard time.
C'mon, who are these two? Country hicks?
(勘吉)おいお～い！ なに この２人は？
(勘吉)お上りさん？ ｲｴ～！ (笑い声)
I don't know what mountain you two came down from,
どこの山奥から 来たのかしんないけどさ➡
あんま ｵﾚの街で 調子こいてっと 殺すよ｡ ﾏｼﾞで｡
but if you press your luck around here, I'll kill you. I mean it.
…銀さん｡ んっ？
Gin-san.
あれ… あの人…➡
There...that man...
足 短い｡ ﾌｧｯｼｮﾝだ ｺﾗ～!!
He's got short legs.
It's the fashion!
I'm sorry. She's from the country, so give her a break.
すみませ～ん｡ 田舎者なんで 勘弁してください｡
We're busy, so we'll be going now.
忙しいんで ｵﾚたちは これで…｡
Hey, stop doing that.
おい いいかげんにしろよ！
That's a fashion trick to take your eyes off his short legs.
あれはな 足の短さを ごまかすﾌｧｯｼｮﾝで…｡
ｵﾒｴが いちばん 失礼なんだよ～!!
You're the rudest of all!
Hey, hold it!
ｺﾗ～ 待てや～！
If you keep screwing around like that, I don't care if it's an old lady or what...
ﾏｼﾞ ﾅﾒてっと ばばあだろうが なんだろうが➡
I'll show you no mercy.
容赦しねえ～!!
(２人)うわ～っ！ お～い…➡
Hey, I said I was busy. Didn't you hear me, boys?
忙しいつったの 聞こえなかったか？ 坊主ども｡
足袋でも袴でも ﾙｰｽﾞに決めんのは 結構ですけどね～➡
I don't give a darn about you wearing your toed socks or skirts loose,
ばばあに 手え上げるとは どういう了見だい？
but don't raise your hand to an old lady!
Wear your toed socks loose,
足袋は ﾙｰｽﾞでもさ➡
but do the right thing!
人の道理は きっちりしやがれ～!!
おら～！ ｽﾞﾎﾞﾝ上げろ ﾎﾞｹ～!!
Pull up your pants, dummies!
(母ちゃん)足袋を上げろ～!! 翔のｱﾆｷを 見習え！
Pull up your toed socks!
Learn from Sho Bro! Learn from his role on "Death Match"!
[Note: Sho Bro is short for Aikawa Sho, a famous Japanese actor known for playing Yakuza Boss-type roles.]
ﾍﾞﾙﾄは 乳首の ちょい下だ ｺﾗ～!!
That's enough!
(狂死郎) そのへんにしておきたまえ｡
(狂死郎)勘吉… こんなところで 何を やっているんだ？ ｷﾐは…｡
Kankichi. What're you doing out here?
(勘吉)狂死郎さん！
Ky...
Kyoshiro-san!
なんだ？
Who're you?
は 八郎！
Ha-Hachiro?!
(八郎)この ﾎﾞｹがっ!!
You nimwits!
(八郎)下っ端とはいえ ｳﾁの店に勤めてる者が➡
You may be peons, but you're employees of our club
(八郎)狂死郎さんの顔に 泥塗るようなﾏﾈしやがって｡
and you've smeared dirt on Kyoshiro-san's reputation!
(勘吉)ぐっ うぅ…｡
(八郎)ﾃﾒｴは ｸﾋﾞだ｡
You're fired! Don't ever step foot in Kabukicho again!
二度とこのかぶき町に 足踏み入れるんじゃねえ｡
《えっ なに？ どういうこと》
Huh? What? What's going on?
(女の子)ｷｬｰ！ 狂死郎さんと八郎さんだわ｡
It's Kyoshiro-san and Hachiro-san!
へぇ あれが かぶき町の ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝﾎｽﾄの 本城 狂死郎｡
So that's Kabukicho's top host, Kyoshiro Honjo?
He's cool, but don't you think he looks a little scary?
《ﾎｽﾄ… あれ？ ﾎｽﾄってなんだっけ》
Host? Huh? What's a host?
That's what's great about him.
(母ちゃん)なんだい？ あれ ﾎﾟｽﾄってなんだい｡
What is that guy? What's a host? Hey.
(母ちゃん)ねぇ ちょっと｡ あん あれだよ｡
Uh, you know. The guy version of a hostess.
ﾎｽﾃｽの男ﾊﾞｰｼﾞｮﾝ｡
Only the few chosen handsome ones...
選ばれたｲｹﾒﾝのみがなれ…｡
《ﾎｽﾄ… あれ？ ﾎｽﾄってなんだっけ｡
Host? Huh? What's a host?
選ばれた… ｲｹﾒﾝ？
Only the few chosen handsome ones...
あれ？ ﾎｽﾄ？
Huh? Host?
これ… ﾎｽﾄ？
He's...a host? A host?!
ﾎｽﾄ!?
これの… 息子が｡
Her...
...son is a...
ﾎｽﾄ～!?
Host?!
♪♪～
(新八/神楽)うん うん…｡
ｳﾁの者が迷惑かけて 大変 申し訳ありません｡
I'm terribly sorry for the trouble my boys caused.
(八郎)お怪我ありませんか？
Were you injured?
(母ちゃん)あぁ… 平気だよ こんなもん｡
No, I'm fine. This is nothing.
ぜひ お詫びがしたいので➡
I would really like to make this up to you.
ｳﾁの店へ来てくださいませんか？
Won't you come to our club?
…店？
Club?
[Takamagahara]
(八郎)えぇ 俺たちの城 高天原へ｡
Yes. This is our club: Takamagahara.
♪♪～
そうねぇ じゃあ ﾄﾞﾝﾍﾟﾘでも 持ってきてもらおうかしら｡
Okay, then why don't you bring us some Dom-Peri?
(ﾎｽﾄ)いや でもお嬢さんは ｼﾞｭｰｽとかのほうが うっ…｡
Yes, but Miss, I think juice would be more...
あんまり 私を 怒らせないでくれる？
Mind not making me angry?
お嬢さんじゃない 女王様と呼べと言ったはずよ｡
Don't call me Miss. Call me Your Highness, Queen.
申し訳ございませんでした｡ かぶき町の女王様｡
I'm terribly sorry! Queen of Kabukicho!
(神楽)ﾎｽﾄのくせに ﾚﾃﾞｨの扱い方も ろくに➡
It's laughable that a Kabukicho host doesn't even know how to treat a lady.
知らないなんて お笑いね｡
(神楽)年増の女は 若く 扱われると喜ぶだろうけど➡
An older woman enjoys being treated like a younger woman,
とびきり 若い娘には 少し 大人の扱いをするのが常識｡
but a very young woman should be treated like an adult.
That's common sense.
(神楽)ﾄﾞﾝﾍﾟﾘ持ってこい って言ったら 黙って➡
If I say bring Dom-Peri,
bringing a cup of milk without saying anything more would be the smart thing to do,
ﾐﾙｸの１つでも持ってくるのが 気の利いた対応じゃなくって？
wouldn't you say?
すみませんでした 女王様｡
Forgive me, Your Highness!
じゃ ﾐﾙｸ１つ… うっ｡
Bring a cup of milk!
What's bringing an actual cup of milk going to do?!
(神楽)ﾎﾝﾄに ﾐﾙｸ 持ってきてどうするのよ｡
Do you think I'm the type of woman who would be satisfied with just milk?
(神楽)私が ﾐﾙｸくらいで おさまる女だと思って？
I'm already an adult. I can already handle Koronamin C.
[Note: A play on the energy drink Oronamin C.]
(神楽)もう大人なの もう ｺﾛﾅﾐﾝＣくらい 飲めるの｡
(ﾎｽﾄ)さすがっすね… ｺﾛﾅﾐﾝＣ もう飲めるなんて｡
I would have expected nothing less.
You can already drink Koronamin C.
私の昔の男がね…｡
My last boyfriend said kids shouldn't drink Koronamin C.
ｺﾛﾅﾐﾝＣは ｶﾞｷは飲んだらﾀﾞﾒだって｡
大人でも １日１本しか 飲めないって よく言ってたわ｡
He said even adults could only handle one bottle per day.
今頃 何やってるのかしら ｱｲﾂ…｡
I wonder what he's doing these days...?
あら いつの間にか ２本もあけちゃった｡
Oh, I already finished two bottles...
So this is what a host club is like.
いやぁ これが ﾎｽﾄｸﾗﾌﾞか…｡ んだか 落ち着かねえな おい｡
I feel really uncomfortable...
ﾎﾝﾄ 男は 居場所ない感じ｡
I know, it feels like this is no place for a man to be.
Well, whatever, we're here for the free drinks anyway.
ただ酒 飲めるだけで よしとしようや… お前は➡
You'd better not drink anything. I'll let you have anything up to a Koronamin C.
飲むなよ ｺﾛﾅﾐﾝＣまで なら 許してやっから｡
(母ちゃん)いやぁっ さわった！
How dare you!
You touched me! This boy just touched me!
今 この子 さわった 私のこと！
いえ さわってません お酒を注いだだけ…｡
No, I didn't. I only poured your drink.
いえっ！ さわりました 肘でｵｯﾊﾟｲさわりました 今｡
No, you touched me. You touched my breasts with your elbow.
ｱﾝﾀも ｱﾝﾀで さっきから なに➡
And you... You've been glancing at me with that lecherous stare!
ﾁﾗﾁﾗ いやらしい 目でこっち見てるの！
No, I haven't been looking.
いや 見てません｡ 見てたじゃないの｡
Yes you were! At my body! That's harassment-
私のﾎﾞﾃﾞｨｰばっかり ｾｸﾊﾗ！ ｾｸｼｬﾙﾊﾗｽﾒﾝﾄ!!
sexual harassment!
おい ばばあ うるせえよ ｾｸﾊﾗは ｱﾝﾀの顔面だ！
Hey, old lady, shut up! Your face is sexual harassment.
ちょ もういや～よ 銀さん｡
I've had enough. Gin-san, what is this place?!
なに ここ… 私たち 八郎を捜しにきたんでしょ｡
Didn't we come here to find Hachiro?! Are you saying he's at a place like this?!
こんなところに まぁ まぁ いるっていうの!? 落ち着けよ｡
Now, now, calm down.
あ～ ｱﾝﾀら もういいから 俺たち 勝手に飲むから…｡
You guys can go. We'll drink by ourselves.
銀さん… お母さん やっぱり まだ 気づいてないみたいですね｡
Gin-san.
Seems she still hasn't realized it yet.
そりゃ そうだろう｡
That's obvious.
いくら息子でも あんな 変わっちまったんじゃ…｡
He's changed so much-even if he really is her son...
八郎なんて よくある名前だしな｡
Hachiro is a common name.
I understand why it'd be so hard to speak out given how much he's changed...
でも 八郎さんは どういうつもりなんだろう｡
あんなに変わって 言い出しづらいのは➡
わかるけど… じゃ なんで わざわざ➡
But then why did he go out of his way to invite us here in the first place?
向こうから接触してきたんだろう｡
理屈じゃねえんだよ 人間なんざ｡
Human beings aren't about what's logical.
うっとうしい母ちゃんでも 目の前で襲われてりゃ➡
Even if your mother is annoying,
if you see her being attacked right in front of you, isn't it a son's instinct to help her?
助けちまうのが 息子ってもんだろう｡
Attacked? I'd say you were the ones doing the attacking.
襲われてたっていうか 襲ってましたよね ｱﾝﾀら｡
(狂死郎)失礼します｡
Excuse me.
皆さん お楽しみ いただいてますか？ 狂死郎さん｡
Is everyone enjoying themselves?
Kyoshiro-san.
野郎に 酒ついでもらっても なんだかね｡
It doesn't feel right to be served drinks by guys.
(狂死郎)ﾌﾌﾌ… すみません｡
I'm sorry. This is a host club, so this is the best we can do.
(狂死郎)ﾎｽﾄｸﾗﾌﾞゆえ 我々は このような もてなししか…｡
(狂死郎)あっ 何か お召し上がりになりますか？
Would you like something to eat?
おう じゃあ このｷｬﾋﾞｱ…｡
Okay, then I'll have this cavia...
We don't need anything like that. I brought something from home.
(母ちゃん)いらないよ そんなの ちゃんと家から持ってきたから｡
ほら 煮豆！ これ 歳の数だけ食べな｡
Boiled beans! Eat as many as your age, okay?
なに 持ち込んでんの!? もう 貧乏くせえから やめてくんない｡
You brought that in here?!
Don't do that! It reeks of poverty!
(母ちゃん)そういう 怒りっぽいところも治るから➡
These beans will cure that angry disposition!
この豆は… ほら そこの派手な兄ちゃんも｡
You with the flashy clothes, try some, too!
えっ？ あ はい…｡
Huh? Uh...all right.
Kyoshiro-san, there's something I'd like to ask you.
狂死郎さん ちょっと お伺いしたいことが…｡
えっ なんですか？
Huh? What is it?
狂死郎さん このお店の ｵｰﾅｰでもあるんですよね？
You're also the owner of this club, aren't you, Kyoshiro-san?
えぇ｡ あの巨大ｱﾌﾛさんなんですけど｡
Yes...
That guy with the humongous afro...
When did he start working at this club?
いつから この店で 働いてらっしゃるんですか？
八郎ですか？
You mean Hachiro?
(狂死郎)彼は この店の たちあげ時から➡
He's a close friend of mine who's been with me since we started this club.
一緒に やってきた僕の親友です｡
(狂死郎)以前は 僕も 別の店で 働いていたんですが➡
I used to work at another club, but two years ago,
２年前 独立しようと彼と二人で｡
the two of us decided to start our own club.
(狂死郎)彼も昔は ﾎｽﾄだったんですが➡
He also used to be a host, but now he works behind the scenes.
今は裏方の仕事を…｡
He had a slight mishap with plastic surgery.
(狂死郎)以前 ちょっと 整形で失敗しまして…｡
A mishap with plastic surgery? What sort of mishap?
整形に失敗って どんな失敗？ ｵﾍﾟ室 爆発でもしたんですか？
Did the operating room blow up or something?
あの… 昼間のようなことも 八郎さんの仕事なんですか？
Um...is what happened this afternoon part of Hachiro-san's job, as well?
(狂死郎)えぇ まぁ…｡ 用心棒的なことも｡
Well...yes... He does some bodyguard duties...
物騒な街ですから そういったこともね｡
This is a dangerous town, so he sometimes does that sort of thing...
この街で のし上がるには➡
To make it...
to the top in this town, you need more than just appearances.
きれいなままで いられませんから｡
I've become known as the top host in Kabukicho,
私も かぶき町ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝﾎｽﾄと 言われるようになりましたが➡
得たものよりも 失ったもののほうが多い｡
but I've lost more than I've gained.
恥ずかしい話…➡
It's embarrassing to say this, but...
We're all people who cannot look our parents in the eyes.
親に顔向けできない 連中ばかりですよ…｡
(殴打音)
(手下)ﾍｯ…！
ｱﾆｷ！ おりましたわ ｺｲﾂが八郎です｡
Aniki!
[Note: Aniki refers to Big Brother or Boss]
Found him. This guy is Hachiro.
(勝男)ほ～か｡ ほな 早ぅ こっち連れてきて｡
That so? Then we'll bring him back with us.
店に迷惑かかるやん｡
I don't want to trouble the club or its guests.
Hachiro!
八郎！ ｵｲｵｲ なんだ？ あれ｡
Hey, who are those guys?
えらい騒がして すみませんでした｡
I'm terribly sorry for the commotion.
(勝男)皆さん 気にせんと どうぞ続けてください｡
Don't pay any mind to us, everyone. Please continue what you were doing.
(悲鳴)
(勝男)あらら みんな逃げてもうた｡
Too bad, they're all running away.
すんまへん 狂死郎はん｡ 営業妨害で訴えんといてな｡
Sorry about that, Kyoshiro-han. Please don't report us for obstructing business.
Katsuo-san, you again?
勝男さん また あなたですか｡ 八郎を離してください｡
Please let Hachiro go. Stop this harassment.
(狂死郎)嫌がらせは もう やめてください！
ちゃうねん ちゃうねん｡
That's not what we're doing at all.
I'm not here about such a small matter, Kyoshiro-han.
今日は あの件ちゃうねんって 狂死郎はん｡
I'm tired of having to come out here to deal with incidents like the other day.
ﾎﾝﾏ ﾜｼも こないなことで出張るの しんどいんやで｡
(勝男)今 うちのﾀﾞｯｸｽﾌﾝﾄ 産気づいてまんねん｡
My dachshund is about to give birth. I want to be there when she does.
立ち会いたいねん出産に｡
ﾎﾝﾏ ｶﾞｷのｹﾝｶに 顔突っ込んでるﾋﾏないんやで｡
I really don't have time to get involved in a childish fight.
ｶﾞｷのｹﾝｶ…？ (勝男)あぁぁ…｡
A childish fight?
Yeah...
(勝男)おたくの用心棒はん➡
Your bodyguard beat up a kid on the street.
昼間 なんや往来で ｶﾞｷ しばき回しとったやろう｡
Hosts nowadays sure are impolite!
今日びのﾎｽﾄは怖いわぁ｡
That was one of the young ones.
あれは ｳﾁの若いもんです｡
ﾊﾞｶやらかしたんで ｹｼﾞﾒつけただけのこと｡
He did something stupid, so we taught him a lesson. It has nothing to do with you.
おたくには関係ない｡
But it does.
それが 大ありやねん｡
Right, Kanshichi-kun?
のう！ 勘七君!! 勘吉です｡
No. It's Kankichi.
実は この勘八君 ｳﾁのｵｼﾞｷの親戚やねん｡
Kanpachi-kun here is a relative of our big boss.
So we need to settle this our way.
ほんで こっちはこっちで ｹｼﾞﾒつけな いう話や｡
親分の!? そら知らんわ｡
The Big Boss's?
I don't know. Might be a very distant relative.
親戚いうても ものごっつ遠いから➡
I hear he's a relative of a relative of a relative of a relative.
なんや 親戚の親戚の 親戚の親戚いうて｡
Stop making false accusations.
言いがかりは よしてください｡ 言いがかり ちゃうよ｡
It's not a false accusation.
のう！ 勘九郎君!!
Right, Kankuro-san?
はっ はい！ 親戚の親戚の親戚です｡
Y-Yes. I'm a relative of a relative of a relative.
(勝男)親戚 １個足りひんやん!!
You're missing one relative!
(銀時/新八)うっ！
He's mistaken.
(勝男)ｱｶﾝ… ｵｼﾞｷの親戚の親戚の➡
He's a relative of a relative of a relative of a relative of a relative of my big boss.
親戚の親戚の親戚 蹴ってもうた｡
Boss, that's one relative too many.
(手下)ｱﾆｷ 親戚１個多いです｡
(勝男)まぁ ええわ｡ 要するに 人類 皆➡
Never mind.
What I'm trying to say is that
たどれば母なる海から生まれた 親戚っちゅうこっちゃ｡
all human beings are relatives born from the maternal ocean.
Gin-san, who are these people?
銀さん 何なんですか？ 連中｡
That's probably Katsuo the Black Piece of the Gutter Rat Gang.
ありゃ おそらく 溝鼠組の黒駒の勝男｡
かぶき町 四天王の１人 泥水 次郎長んとこの若頭だ｡
He's a junior boss of one of the four kings of Kabukicho, Jirocho Doromizu.
また やっかいなﾔﾂと なに もめてやがる!?
What's the deal behind the club's dispute with such a troublesome fellow?
金よ 金！ さっき ﾁｬﾗ男どもが言ってたよ｡
Money. It's money. I heard those liars mention it earlier.
The Gutter Rat Gang's been demanding money to take over the protection gig.
(神楽)溝鼠組の連中➡
用心棒になってやるから 金払え って｡
それを狂死郎が断ってから➡
After Kyoshiro-san turned them down, they've been harassing the club.
嫌がらせしに くるようになったって｡
ったく… 次から次に 手のかかる息子だぜ➡
Man, from one thing to the next, that son is a handful. Isn't he, Mom?
なぁ かあちゃんよ… あれ ばばあは？
Huh? Where's the old lady?
そういや いないｱﾙ｡
Now that you mention it, she's gone.
Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
ちょっと～ なにやってんの！
血だらけじゃないの ちょっと！ (勝男)なんや このｵﾊﾞﾊﾝ｡
He's covered with blood!
Who's the old lady?
Just a minute! Just a minute!
ちょっと～！ これ… あのぅ…➡
Hey, umm! Just a minute! Just a minute!
ちょっと～！ 何回 言うねん！
What're you talking about?
(母ちゃん)確かに 柿ﾋﾟｰは➡
Rice crackers and peanuts go well with drinks, but you mustn't eat too much.
お酒と合うけども 食べすぎちゃ ﾀﾞﾒだって…｡
No one bleeds this much from eating too many peanuts!
(勝男)ﾋﾟｰﾅﾂの食いすぎで こない血ぃ出るわけ ないやろ!!
I told you to eat six parts rice crackers to four parts peanuts!
(母ちゃん)柿とﾋﾟｰﾅﾂは ６対４の 割合でいけと 言ったじゃないの！
That's enough, old lady. Don't try to make fools of us.
ｵﾊﾞﾊﾝ ええかげんに しいや！ ﾜｼら ﾅﾒとったら ｱｶﾝど｡
柿と ﾋﾟｰﾅﾂの割合は…！
Everyone knows the ratio of rice crackers to peanuts...
七三に決まっとるやろうが!!
is seven to three!
世の中のことは すべてこれ➡
Everything in this world works out if divided by seven to three!
七三でうまく分けられるように なっとんじゃ！
七三が宇宙万物根源の 黄金比じゃ！
7:3. It's the Golden Ratio that forms the basis for the entire Universe. You idiot!
ﾎﾞｹｺﾗｶｽ～!!
七三って それ 柿ﾋﾟｰじゃなくて 柿の種食いたいだけだろうが｡
You're only saying 7:3 because you want to eat more rice crackers!
Read the "Monkey vs. Crab" for the rest of your life. You idiot!
ﾃﾒｴは一生 『猿ｶﾆ合戦』読んでろ ﾎﾞｹｺﾗｸｽﾞ!!
Stupid!
ｱﾎか！ この比率が 柿とﾋﾟｰﾅﾂ➡
This ratio is the Golden Ratio that enhances both the rice crackers and peanuts.
双方を引き立てさせる 黄金比なんじゃ ﾎﾞｹｺﾗﾌﾞｽ!!
You ugly idiot!
You're just infatuated with the words "Golden Ratio."
ﾃﾒｴは 黄金比という言葉に➡
酔ってるだけで 考えることを放棄し➡
明日を ただ死んだように 生きていけ ﾎﾞｹｺﾗﾅｽ！
Why don't you forget about reason and live tomorrow like you were dead? You idiot!
Fine, old lady. Tonight, we'll debate rice crackers and peanuts till dawn.
(勝男)上等や ｵﾊﾞﾊﾝ 今夜は朝まで 柿ﾋﾟｰ生討論や｡
白黒はっきりつけようじゃないの｡
Let's settle it once and for all!
(手下)ｱﾆｷ… ﾜｼら何しにきたんですか？
Boss, what did we come here for?
(勝男)知るか ﾎﾞｹｪ！
How would I know, stupid?!
Hey, you guys. Don't just stand there...
(勝男)おい にいちゃんらも ﾎﾞｻｯとしてんと…➡
早よ酒もってこんかい!!
Hurry up and bring us drinks!
What's wrong with this place?
なんや この店… ﾎｽﾄｸﾗﾌﾞのくせに➡
You're a host club, yet you don't know how to serve your customers?
接客も ようせんのか｡
すみませ～ん！
Forgive us.
今 お持ちしま～す｡
We'll be right with you.
♪♪～
今宵は ﾎｽﾄｸﾗﾌﾞ 高天原へ ようこそいらっしゃいました｡
We're delighted to welcome you to host club Takamagahara.
当ﾎｽﾄｸﾗﾌﾞ ﾄｯﾌﾟ３の１人➡
I am Shin, one of the club's top three.
ｼﾝです｡ ｷﾞﾝで～す｡ ｼﾞｬｽﾄ ﾄﾞｩ ｲｯﾄ！
I am Gin. Just do it.
[Note: Spoof of the Nike slogan.]
ｸﾞﾗだぜ ﾌｩ～!!
Gura here.
[Note: Spoof of Eikou Kano, a Japanese Comedian.]
♪♪～
ｼﾞｬｽﾄ ﾄﾞｩ ｲｯﾄ！
Just do it!
[To Be Continued]
The next episode... "Don't Make Munching Noises When You Eat."
[Katsuo the Black Piece, junior boss of the Gutter Rat Gang threatens Kyoshiro's Club, Takamagahara.]
[The Odd Jobs trio turned into hosts. Okay! With my life.]
[By the way, has Lake Toya arrived yet? Hasn't it? Has it arrived?]