(母ちゃん)ご飯は 20回 噛んでから 飲み込みなさい｡
Chew your food 20 times before swallowing! Understand?
[The second Sunday in May is Mother's Day. So we present the second half of "Mother."]
[Thank you, Mom! We will be happy. Illustration by: Hideaki Sorachi]
["Don't Make Munching Noises When You Eat"]
We're delighted to welcome you to host club Takamagahara.
(新八)今宵は ﾎｽﾄｸﾗﾌﾞ 高天原へ ようこそ いらっしゃいました｡
I am one of the club's top three, Shin.
当ﾎｽﾄｸﾗﾌﾞ ﾄｯﾌﾟ３の１人 ｼﾝです｡ (女性たちの嬌声)
(銀時)ｷﾞﾝで～す｡ ｼﾞｬｽﾄ ﾄﾞｩｰ ｲｯﾄ！ (嬌声)
I am Gin. Just do it.
(神楽)ｸﾞﾗだぜ｡ ﾌｩ～！ (嬌声)
Gura. Fuu!
(狂死郎)なっ…！ (勝男)度胸あるやないか～｡
What?
You've got guts. Come here.
こっち来い｡ ﾎﾝﾏは きれいな ねえちゃん➡
Though, I'd rather be served by some pretty ladies.
はべらしたいとこやけどなぁ｡
失礼しま～す｡
Excuse...
...me.
Huh? Gin-sa--
あれ？ 銀さ…｡ はぁ～っ！
ぐえっ…！
あら お客さん…｡
Ma'am? Oh my, drunk already, fuu?
あらら… もう つぶれちゃったの？ ﾌｩ～！
No, the old lady hasn't drunk anything yet.
いや… おばはんは まだ 飲んでへんで｡
Hey Shin, take the old...
お～い ｼﾝ… ばば…｡
...er, madam, over there and let her rest. Just do it.
お客様を あちらに寝かせて｡ ｼﾞｬｽﾄ ﾄﾞｩｰ ｲｯﾄ｡
ｵｰｹｰ！ 我が命に代えても！
Okay. Even if it costs me my life.
How troublesome. But never mind.
なんや うざいんやけど？
まぁ ええわ｡ 狂死郎はん 話を 元に戻して｡
Kyoshiro-han, let's get back...
to what we were talking about.
なに 飲みますか？ 戻して｡
Something to drink?
Shochu and water, 7 and 3. Now, getting back to...
焼酎水割り ７対３で｡
話を 元に…｡ 焼酎３ですか？ 水３ですか？
Is that shochu 3 or water 3?
[Shochu and water 7:3] [Note: the entire gag is about the homonym "san" which can mean the number 3 or a name title.]
[Shochu 3]
Shochu. Now getting back to...
[Water 3]
焼酎や｡ 戻して 話を 元に…｡ 焼酎３ですか？
Shochu 3?
That's shochu 3. Now getting back to...
せやから 焼酎３やて｡
元に戻して 話を…｡ 焼酎さん なに 飲みますか？
Shochu-san, what will you have?
[Shochu-san]
焼酎さん ちゃうわ～!!
My name is not Shochu-san!
Well, I want shochu san but that san isn't "-san"
いや… 焼酎３やけども～➡
この ｢３｣は ｢さん｣やのうて…｡
but "three" as in three parts shochu, seven parts water. Okay?
３や！ 焼酎３！
水７！ ｵｰｹｰ？ ｵｯｹ～｡ 我が命に代えても…｡
Okay. Even if it costs me my life.
That'll never become popular.
流行らへんから それ～!!
Though you've been pushing it! It's irritating, so stop it!
さっきから なんや それ おしてるけれども！
ｲﾗっとくるから それ！
話 元に戻すでえ｡
Getting back to our discussion. This is getting tedious, so I'll be frank.
もう 面倒やから ぶっちゃけて 話させてもらうけどなぁ➡
おたくの連れ ｹｶﾞさしとうないんやったら➡
If you don't want...to see your friends hurt, accept our demands.
ﾜｼらの要求 のめっちゅう話や｡
(八郎の むせる声)
悪い話や ないやろう？ 簡単や｡
It's not a bad offer, don't you think? It's very simple.
You charm stupid women with your sweet talk
そっちは 甘いﾄｰｸで ｱﾎな女どもを たぶらかして➡
and our tough guys drive away the stupid men.
こっちは ﾊｰﾄﾞな強面で ｱﾎな男どもを 追っ払う｡
We'll split the profits exactly 70-30.
儲けも きっちり ｼﾁｻﾝで分けたろう 言うてんねん｡
Everybody's happy.
万々歳やないの？ ﾍﾟｯ！
(狂死郎)前にも 言ったはずです｡
I told you before.
Neither I, nor Hachiro have any intention of using the services of people like you.
ﾎﾞｸも八郎も あなたたちのような 人たちの力を➡
借りるつもりは ない｡ ﾎﾞｸらは➡
We survive in this town on our own strength, and we've come this far.
自分たちだけの力で この街を生きているし生きてきた｡
(狂死郎)これからも 変えるつもりはない｡
We have no intention of changing that.
Oh... Then you don't care what happens to your...
ほぅ… ほな 連れが どうなっても…｡
Hey, come on. That hurts! And that's annoying me!
もう 痛い！ 痛いし うるさい！
ﾗｲﾀｰないんやったら これ使うて｡
If you don't have a lighter, use this.
…いや いいです｡
My, that's nice. Is it a present?
ﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄとか… 重たい…｡ なんか つきあってるみたいな…｡
It's heavy. It's like we're a couple. I can't accept it.
I didn't give it to you. Use it to give me a light!
お前に あげたんちゃうっちゅうね～ん!!
それ使うて 火いつけて 言うてとんね～ん！
火打ち石と ｺﾗﾎﾞﾚｰｼｮﾝすな～!!
Don't use it with a flint stone!
Oh, what've you done? This was expensive, you know.
あぁ～ なに さらしてくれとんねん…｡
高かったねんで これ…｡
Kyoshiro-san! Don't worry about me! Don't do what they want!
狂死郎さん！ ｵﾗに かまうことはない！
こんなﾔﾂらの 言いなりになるな！
(八郎)泥水すすって 顔まで変えて！
We've lived through Hell and even changed our faces!
Hachiro...
八郎…｡
Quiet.
(手下)黙れ！ うっ…！
But no matter what, we decided to walk on our own, to live in this town...
それでも ｵﾗたち 自分の足で 歩いていこうって…➡
この街で 生きていこうって…➡
our own way!
決めたんじゃないか～!!
♪♪～
You've got some nerve.
(勝男)ええ度胸やないかぁ｡
All right, then I'll show you just how scary it is to live in this town.
(勝男)ほな この街で 生きていくゆうんが➡
どれだけ怖いか 教えたるで｡
うっ… うぅっ…！ やめろ!!
Stop it!
今さら 遅いで｡ ｹｼﾞﾒや ｹｼﾞﾒ｡
It's too late now. I have to draw the line.
I'll show you just how more serious...I am than you!
お前らと ﾜｼらじゃ 覚悟が ちゃうことを➡
思い知れやぁぁ～っ!! やめ…!!
Stop it!
なぁ おい… 知ってるか？
Say, did you know?
侍は ｹｼﾞﾒつけるとき 腹 切んだよ｡
When a samurai draws the line, he slits his belly.
ｵﾚは 覚悟ねえから やんねえけど｡
I'm not ready to do that, so I wouldn't really know, though.
お前… 誰やねん!?
Wh-Who are you?
なにしとんじゃ われ～!!
What the hell are you doing?!
I have an order for three Dom Perignino!
ﾄﾞﾝﾍﾟﾘｰﾆｮ３本 入りま～す！
Okay. Even if it costs me my life.
ｵｰｹｰ！ 我が命に代えても～！
Ah, just do it!
あぁ… ｼﾞｬｽﾄ ﾄﾞｩｰ ｲｯﾄ！
♪♪～
Things don't go that easily in this world.
そう うまくはいかんで 世の中！
(ﾒｰﾙの着信音)
A text message, eh?
ﾒｰﾙかいや…｡
あぁ～っ!?
It's Meru-chan. Meru-chan became a mom while I was away!
ﾒﾙちゃんが… ﾒﾙちゃんが ﾜｼの おらん間に➡
ﾏﾏに なってしまいよった～！
She gave birth? Congratulations.
(手下)産まれたんでっか？ おめでとうございます！
Congratulations, nothing, moron!
(勝男) おめでとうや あるか～ ﾎﾞｹ～!!
I can't stay here. We're leaving right now!
こうしちゃおれん！ さっさと 引き揚げるで～!!
R-Right!
(手下)ﾍｲ！ (手下)お前ら 覚えときい！
Remember this, people!
We won't be this easy on you the next time we meet!
次 会うときは こんなもんで すまへんからな～！
ありがとうございました｡ 手間かけさせやがって｡
Thank you very much.
You put us through a lot of trouble.
でも まぁ 母ちゃんの 目の前で➡
But I can't let a son get killed right in front of his mother's eyes.
息子 死なせるわけには いかねえからなぁ｡
Son?
息子？ とぼけんじゃねえよ！
Don't play dumb.
銀ちゃん 大変ｱﾙ！
Gin-chan, we have a problem!
The old lady... The old lady is nowhere to be found!
おばちゃんが… おばちゃんが どこ捜しても いないｱﾙ！
What? How about in the bathroom?
えっ？ ﾄｲﾚは？
No.
ひょっとして 連中に さらわれてしまったのかも…｡
Maybe those guys grabbed her.
Mom!
母ちゃん！
Mom?
母ちゃん？ あっ…｡
(勝男) そうか… あの にいちゃん➡
I see. So that guy was the Odd Jobs above Otose's shop.
お登勢ん店の上にある 万事屋の…｡
狂死郎のﾔﾂ ﾜｼらに対抗するために あれ 雇ったいうこっちゃなぁ｡
That means Kyoshiro hired them to oppose me.
It'll be trouble if we go up against Otose.
(手下)お登勢と もめんのは 厄介でっせ…｡
(手下)ｳﾁの ｵｼﾞｷが あの ばばあに 惚れてる聞きましたで｡
I heard our Big boss is in love with that old lady.
Isn't that in the past?
(勝男)そら 昔の話やろう｡
ﾜｼは 回覧板 回すの遅れて➡
I heard she didn't talk to him for more than ten years
because he was late passing around the neighborhood notebook.
10年以上 口利いとらん って 聞いたけどなぁ｡
Ah! Aniki! Did you see the way the puppies move? They're like plush toys!
あっ！ ｱﾆｷ 今 このこの仕草 見ました!?
もう ぬいぐるみみたいや～!!
でかい声 出すな言うたやろう！
I told you not to speak so loud!
ﾒﾙちゃんは今 いちばんﾃﾞﾘｹｰﾄな時期やねんから｡
Meru-chan is in her most fragile state right now.
(手下)うぉぉ～っ！
What? Another one came out.
(手下)ななな… なんですの!? もう１匹 出てきましたで！
Calm down!
(勝男)おおお… 落ち着かんか～い!!
But this pup isn't breathing!
ほでも このこ 息しとりまへんで｡
なんやて～!? おい なんや!? なんや これ!?
What? Hey what is this? What's going on? What should we do?!
どないしたら ええねん…！ 頼んますわ ｱﾆｷ！
Please, Aniki! Do something. I can't take this.
あきまへんねん ﾜｼ…｡ ﾜｼかて あかんわ～！
I can't take it either.
ぶへっ！ (頬を叩く音)
Men shouldn't panic!
男が うろたえてんじゃないの！
ｱﾝﾀが しっかりしないで 誰が このこ支えんの～！
If you don't pull yourselves together, who's going to look after this pup?!
A man has to be strong at times like this!
(母ちゃん)こんなときこそ 男は どっしり構えないと➡
ﾀﾞﾒでしょうが～!! す… すんまへん…｡
I-I'm sorry.
You there! Get me a clean washcloth! A clean one, now!
ちょっと ｱﾝﾀ！ きれいなｻﾗｼ 持ってきな！
きれいなのだよ!! ﾍｲ!!
Right!
♪♪～
(手下)うわぁ～っ！ 持ってきやした！
Brought it!
♪♪～
Old lady. How is he, old lady? Will he live?
おばはん！ おい おばはん！ どないやねん!?
助かるんか？ ﾒﾙちゃんの赤ちゃん 助かるんか!?
Will Meru-chan's baby live?
(子犬)ｸｰﾝ｡ うぉっしゃ～っ!!
It cried. It's alive!
鳴いたで～！ 息 吹き返しよったで～!!
It's a miracle.
おばはん ありがとう｡ ﾎﾝﾏ ありがとう…｡
Thank you, old lady. Thank you so much.
いいんだよ｡ 大事にしてやんだよ｡
Forget it. Take good care of it now.
I will.
わかって…｡
…おばはん なんで こんなとこ おんねん？
Old lady, what're you doing here?
産まれるだの なんだの言ってたからさ｡
I heard you said something about someone giving birth.
こういうときは 母ちゃんが いないと➡
In times like this, nothing gets done if a mother isn't around.
始まらんだろ？ そやな…｡
That's so true.
That's true.
(手下)そやそや…｡ (笑い声)
That's not true!
そや ちゃうわぁぁ～っ!! なんやねん!?
Who are you, old lady?
誰やねん!? おばはん！
Mother.
母ちゃん｡
Hachiro's mother.
八郎の 母ちゃんだよ｡
Hachiro... That Hachiro?
(手下)八郎って… あの 八郎か？
Hachiro Kuroita.
黒板 八郎だよ｡ 黒板 八郎？
Hachiro Kuroita?
Hachiro Kuroita... I've heard that name before.
(泥水)黒板 八郎… 聞いた名前やないけ｡
ｵｼﾞｷ！
Big boss!
♪♪～
(八郎)坂田さ～ん！ 坂田さ～ん!!
Sakata-san. Sakata-san!
八郎さん どうでした？ お母さん 見つかりました？
Hachiro-san! How'd it go? Did you find Mom?
こっちは ﾀﾞﾒだったがなぁ…｡ こっちもです｡
I had no luck.
Neither did I.
お母様どころか お母様を追って➡
It's not only Mom, but I lost contact with Kyoshiro. He left the club to chase after her.
店を出ていった 狂死郎さんとも 連絡が…｡
ｸｿったれ～｡
Crap!
Because of this, we were completely fooled.
ｺｲﾂのせいで すっかり 騙されたな｡
まさか 狂死郎さんが おばさんの息子だったなんて…｡
None of us imagined that Kyoshiro-san was the old lady's son.
He's changed so much. Not even his mother or the Buddha would recognize him.
あんなに変わってたんじゃ そら 母ちゃんでも仏様でも➡
気づかないｱﾙ…｡
And you, dressed like that and calling yourself Hachiro.
だいたい お前が そんな格好して➡
八郎 なんて 名のってたからｱﾙ！
It'd be strange if we didn't think you were her son.
息子だと思わないほうが どうかしてるｱﾙ！
Lies, exaggerations, confusion! I'm calling JARO.
[Note: JARO stands for the Japan Advertising Review Organization]
ｳｿ 大げさ 紛らわしいんだよ！ ｼﾞｬﾛに 電話するｼﾞｬﾛ！
そ… それは あなたたちが 勝手に…！
That was your own mistake.
But first of all, I'm not a son.
だいたい ｵﾗ 息子じゃなくて こうみえても 元 娘です｡
I may not look it, but I'm a former daughter.
I'm a trannie. Hachiro is my professional name.
ｵﾅﾍﾞですから ｵﾗ｡ 八郎は 源氏名｡
My real name is Hanako.
本名は 花子です｡
Hanako...
花子…｡ あれ…？
What?
Hanako...?
花子…？ えぇ…｡
Yes.
Hanako is...
花子が…｡ 八郎で…｡
Hachiro and...
八郎が…｡
Hachiro is...
Hanako?!
(３人)花子～っ!? えぇ…｡
Yes.
でも なぜ 狂死郎さんは➡
But why didn't Kyoshiro-san say anything to his mother?
お母様に 何も言わなかったんでしょう？
もう 他人だってことなんでしょうか？
Is it because now they are like strangers to each other?
狂死郎さんは ５年前から欠かさず➡
Kyoshiro-san has been supposedly sending his money home to his mother for five years.
お母様に 仕送りを されていたはずです｡
He wanted to see her more than anyone.
(八郎)誰よりも 会いたかったはずなのに…｡
To make it to the top in this town, you need more than just appearances.
((この街で のし上がるには きれいなままでは いられない…｡
(狂死郎)恥ずかしい話➡
It's embarrassing to say, but we're all people who can't face our parents.
親に 顔向けできない 連中ばかりですよ…))
[TEL]
Yes?
はい？ [TEL](勝男)もしもし 狂死郎はん？
Hello. Kyoshiro-san? It's Katsuo.
[TEL]勝男やけど 毎度！
That old lady who was at your place...
[TEL]おたくのとこにおった おばはんなぁ…｡
((勝男:あれ どういうわけか➡
For some reason, she just followed us on her own.
ﾜｼらに 勝手に ついてきよってなぁ➡
We don't know what to do with her.
困っとんねん｡ なんや ｢八郎の母ちゃんです｣➡
She kept saying "I'm Hachiro's mother, I'm Hachiro's mother."
｢八郎の母ちゃんです｣ 騒ぎよってなぁ｡
What should we do with her? Can we just get rid of her?
これ どないしたら ええねん？
(勝男)こっちで 勝手に処理しても ええんか？
If you don't want that to happen, come get her right away.
そやないんやったら すぐ 引き取りに来てや｡
If you dawdle, there's no telling what we might do to her.
ｸﾞｽﾞｸﾞｽﾞしとったら ﾜｼら なにするか わからんよって｡
(勝男)ほなな 黒板 八郎はん))
Got that, Hachiro Kuroita-han?
(勝男)こっちや こっち｡ 狂死郎はん｡
Over here, over here, Kyoshiro-han. I mean, Hachiro-han.
(勝男)ちゃうわ 八郎はん｡
I was surprised when the Big boss told me.
(勝男)ｵｼﾞｷから聞いて ﾋﾞｯｸﾘしたでぇ｡
I understand your real name is Hachiro Kuroita.
(勝男)ﾎﾝﾏは 黒板 八郎いうねんなぁ？
(狂死郎)あの人は どうした!? (勝男)心配いらんて｡
Where is she?!
Don't worry. She's a valuable hostage.
大事な人質や｡ なんも しとらん｡
We haven't done anything to her.
I'll keep the fact that you're her son under wraps.
(勝男) ｱﾝﾀが 息子いうのも伏せとる｡
We yakuza act according to our principles.
(勝男)ﾔｸｻﾞは 筋は通すで！
But I don't understand why you're so desperate to hide that.
(勝男)ほんでも なんで そない必死になって隠すか➡
よう わからんわ｡
I've gone so bad, there's no saving me.
ﾜｼなんか こないに ｸﾞﾚてもうたさかい｡
I could never face my mother. But you're different.
絶対 おかんと 会われへんけどなぁ｡
ｱﾝﾀは ちゃうやんか？
You're the top host in this town. The most successful.
この街の ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝ ﾎｽﾄやん？ 出世頭やん？
胸 張って おかんと会うたら ええやん｡
You should proudly stand before your mother.
…どのﾂﾗ下げて 会えというんですか？
What am I going to face her with?
もう母の知っている顔は 文字どおり捨ててしまった｡
I've gotten rid of the face my mother knows.
のし上がることと引き換えに｡
In exchange for pushing my way to the top, I've thrown away being Hachiro.
私は もう八郎であることを 捨ててしまった｡
(狂死郎) ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝﾎｽﾄといったところで➡
You can call me the top host, but that's just a title.
しょせんは きれいごと｡
I live here in the same town as you.
(狂死郎)私が生きるのは ｱﾅﾀたちと同じ この街です｡
(狂死郎)汚れたﾏﾈを していることに変わりはない｡
I do the same sort of dirty things.
いやいや 立派なもんや！ ﾜｼらの要求のまんと➡
No, no, you're a fine fellow.
You're the first guy who's refused our demands and stuck to his guns.
こないねばったﾔﾂは ｱﾝﾀが初めてや｡
(勝男)まぁ それも 今日で終わりやけどな｡
Even if that does end as of today.
(勝男)あん？ なんや？ その金｡
Huh?
What's that money for?
私の全財産です｡
This is everything I own.
But I used a lot in expanding my club, so there's not much left.
店を大きくするために 使ってしまって➡
あまり残ってはいませんが…｡
(勝男)何やて？ まだ もがく言うんかいな！
What? You're still putting up a fight? We don't want such trifles.
ﾜｼら そんなはした金 欲しいんやない！
お前の店 ﾜｼらに任せ 言うとんねん！
We want you to let us run your club!
私は ﾎｽﾄという仕事に 誇りをもっています｡
I have pride in my work as a host.
だから あなたたちの要求は のめないし➡
That's why I can't accept your demands,
母に名のり出るつもりもない｡
and why I have no intention of submitting to you in front of my mother.
ｱﾝﾀ…｡ (罵声)
You...!
A host's job is to make women happy.
ﾎｽﾄは 女性を喜ばせるのが 仕事です｡
だから この世で最も大切な女性を 悲しませるようなﾏﾈは➡
That's why I absolutely cannot do anything that would make women,
who are the most precious things in this world, unhappy.
私は絶対しない！
What?! You mean you don't care what happens to your mom?
(手下)な… 何やと!? お前 おかんがどうなっても…｡
(手下)うわぁ～！
Kyoshiro-han. You're quite dauntless.
(勝男)狂死郎はん！ 大した侠気や｡
さすがは ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝﾎｽﾄやなぁ｡
Just as I would have expected of the top host.
ﾜｼも ぶっちゃけ あんまり しつこいことは嫌いやねん｡
Truth is, I don't like being too pushy.
ｵｼﾞｷは 財源の新規開拓に 躍起になっとるさかい➡
But I don't have a choice since the Big boss is desperate
to develop more sources of money.
しかたなくな…｡
天人 来てから ﾔｸｻﾞも かたちが変わってしもうた｡
Since the Amanto arrived, the yakuza have changed.
(勝男) せやけど そんだけ金があれば➡
But with that money, I might be able to convince the Big boss.
何とか ｵｼﾞｷのこと 説得できるかもしれん｡
(勝男)今日は ｱﾝﾀのｼﾁｻﾝﾍｱｰと 侠気に免じて勘弁したるわ｡
I'll let you go today in deference to your 7:3-parted hair and your dauntlessness.
おかん返すんは そのあとや！
I'll release Mom after that.
♪♪～
(手下)な… なんや!?
What the?!
Guys like him don't deserve your money.
んなﾔﾂらに 金なんざ くれてやることねえよ！
そのぶん 母ちゃんに➡
Use it to treat your mother to something delicious.
うまいもんのひとつでも 食わせてやりな！
(手下)お… お前は！
You're...!
(手下たち)うわぁ～！
♪♪～
I'm not very good with machines.
ﾎﾞｸ ｶﾗｸﾘ 苦手なんですけど！
(手下)わぁ～！ あかん!! ひとまず こっから… うっ！
This isn't looking good! Let's get out of here.
Just - do it! Do it! Do it!
♪♪～
Do it! Do it!
What crazy people. I can't distinguish them from the yakuza.
なんちゅうﾑﾁｬしよる連中や｡
どっちがﾔｸｻﾞか わからんで…｡
Hey, that's enough. Or this old lady gets...
おい！ そこまでにしとき!! せやないと このおばはん…｡
(手下)うっ…｡ この おばはん… ﾊｯ！
This old lady gets...
(神楽)この おばはんは もらったぜ!! ﾌｩ～！
I've got the old lady, fuu.
させるか～！
No you don't!
このﾎﾞｹ!! ｺﾗ！ ｶｽ!! なめとったら あかんど！
You fool! Don't underestimate me!
逃げた女 追うなんて 未練だぜ!! ﾌｩ～！
It's unmanly to chase after a woman who left you, fuu-fuu.
うっ… ｲﾃｯ！ なに勝手な解釈しとんねん!!
Ouch.
What kind of one-sided interpretation is that?
お登勢ばばあの 回し者やなんや知らんが ｲﾀｯ…｡
Were you sent by that old lady Otose or something?
Ouch.
(勝男)この街で ﾜｼら溝鼠組に逆ろうて➡
You think you can go up against our Gutter Rat Gang in this town and stay alive?
生きていける思うとんのか？ ﾎﾞｹ!! ｺﾗ！ ｶｽ!!
You fool!
次郎長親分 敵にまわしたら…｡
If you make an enemy of...
Boss Jirocho, you'll...
(ｵﾅﾗ)
《ｸﾘｰﾝﾋｯﾄや！
A clean hit!
Uh-oh... I feel dizzy...
あ… あかん… めまいが…｡
What did this old lady eat?
このばばあ なに食うとんねん！
I mustn't let go. Tough it out.
手… 手 離したらあかん｡
耐えろ！ 耐えるんや!!》
(母ちゃん)ｳﾌｯ…｡
What're you blushing for?!
(勝男)なに 頬 赤らめとんねん！
溝鼠だか二十日鼠だか 知らねえけどな…｡
I don't give a damn if you're gutter rats or lab rats.
Don't go bothering the mice who've pushed their way through the gutter mud, desperately trying...
ﾄﾞﾌﾞのなかでも必死に 泥かき分けて生きてるﾈｽﾞﾐを➡
ｼﾞｬﾏすんじゃねえ！
to make a living.
ぐぉっ！
ﾒﾙちゃ～ん！
Meru-chan!
Aniki!
(手下)ｱﾆｷ！
おんどりゃあぁ～！
ｱﾆｷ！ ほっとき ほっとき!!
Boss?
Let them go. Let them go.
こんな連中 相手にしとったら なんぼ命と金があっても足らん｡
We don't have enough lives to take these guys on. If we...
これで この件から 手ぇひいても ｵｼﾞｷに言い訳たつわ｡
back out now, I'm sure Big boss would understand.
けど！ 溝鼠にも 溝鼠のﾙｰﾙがあるいうこっちゃ｡
But...!
As Gutter Rats, we live by our rules.
I never fail when returning a debt of gratitude.
(勝男)ﾜｼは 借りた恩は必ず返す｡
７借りたら ３返す｡
I borrow 7, I'll return 3.
(勝男)ついでに やられた借りもな｡
The same goes for revenge. If I take 3, I'll give back 7. Remember that.
(勝男)３借りたら ７や！ 覚えときや…｡
♪♪～
(黒服)いつもと変わらないな… 狂死郎さん｡
Kyoshiro's doing as well as ever.
あれ聞きましたか？ 狂死郎さん 結局 名乗らなかったって…｡
Did you hear? Kyoshiro-san never did identify himself to his mother after all.
(母ちゃん) あれだよ… 醤油とお出汁で➡
Remember! You boil that pumpkin in soy sauce and broth!
煮物にして食べるんだよ！ そのｶﾎﾞﾁｬ!!
Come on! How many times are you going to tell me the same thing?!
しつけえな！ 何回 同じこと言うんだよ!!
(母ちゃん) 大きな声 出すんじゃないの！
Don't raise your voice! You're always trying to trip me up!
ｱﾝﾀは もう 人の揚げ足ばっかり取って！
(八郎)自分は まだ胸を張って 母に会えるほど➡
He says he still hasn't become a man who can meet her with his head held high.
立派な人間じゃないってさ｡
(八郎)あの人は 恥ずかしいことなんか➡
Even though he hasn't done a single thing to be ashamed of.
何もしてないって言うんだ｡ (黒服)ﾎﾝﾄですよ｡
That's so true.
I know him. I know how pure a heart he has.
ｵﾗは知ってるよ｡
あの人が どれだけ きれいな心をもっているか…｡
ずっと隣で見てきたから｡
I've been at his side watching him, all this time.
Hachiro-san.
(黒服)八郎さん これ…｡
This odd box was left at the door.
(黒服)表に 変なものが 置いてあったんですが…｡
(母ちゃん)あれだよ… あんま煮すぎてもﾀﾞﾒだよ｡
Remember! You mustn't over-boil it! It'll turn mushy! Just enough!
ｸﾞｽﾞｸﾞｽﾞになるから… 適度に！ しつけえな！
Come on! How many times are you going to tell me the same thing?!
何回 同じこと言うんだよ!! 大きな声 出すんじゃないの！
Don't raise your voice! You're always trying to trip me up!
ｱﾝﾀは もう 人の揚げ足ばっかり取って！
(客)や～ん もう！ 狂死郎さんったら～!!
Oh, Kyoshiro-san!
(狂死郎)ん？ なに？ これ｡
What's this?
Just a minute! We didn't order this!
(客)ちょっと！ こんなもの頼んでないわよ!!
(客)ちょ… ｱﾝﾀ なに笑ってんの？
Why're you smiling?
ｽﾍﾟｼｬﾙｻｰﾋﾞｽでございます｡
It's our special service.
Remember! Chew your food well!
(母ちゃん)あれだよ！ よく噛んで食べるんだよ｡
しつけえな！ 何回 同じこと言うんだよ!!
Come on! How many times are you going to tell me the same thing?!
これは まだ１回目だよ！ 騙されないよ あたしゃ!!
It's the first time I've said that! You're not going to trick me!
何なの？ なに これ！
What is this? Who wants something so lame?
こんなだっさいもん 誰がいるのよ！
Kyoshiro-san wouldn't eat something like this.
狂死郎さんが こんなｲﾓいもん 食べるわけないでしょう！
Okay, then, I'm leaving. After I'm gone, make sure you lock up!
(母ちゃん)それじゃあ ｱﾀｼ行くけど ｱﾀｼ行ったら➡
ちゃんと鍵しめるんだよ！ 最近 物騒だから｡
It's dangerous, these days.
しつけえな！ もういいから 早く行けよ!!
Come on! Hurry up and leave!
(神楽)あばよ！ おばはん｡ いい夢みろよ!!
See you, old lady. Sweet dreams.
(母ちゃん)ｵﾒｴもな！ ｸｿｶﾞｷ!!
You too, brat!
それじゃあね｡
See you, then.
Uh! Mom...
あの… おかあさん｡
I'm sorry we couldn't help you, after all.
あの… 結局 力になれなくて すみませんでした｡
なに言ってんのさ！ 会わしてくれたじゃないのさ!!
What're you talking about?
[To Hachiro, From Mother]
You did let me see him.
♪♪～
Dear Hachiro,
(母ちゃん)｢八郎へ まず一つ｡
First of all, you're still not very good with chopsticks.
ｱﾝﾀ まだ箸の使い方が なってませんね｡
直しなさいって言ったでしょう｡
I've told you to fix that. Mother is quite concerned.
母さん すごく気になりました｡
あと ものを食べるとき ｸﾁｬｸﾁｬ音をたてない｡
And another thing, don't make munching noises when you eat.
母さん すごくｲﾗｲﾗしました｡
It really irritates Mother.
最後に 細かいことは よくわからないけども➡
And finally... I don't know the details, but...
母さん ｱﾝﾀが 元気でやってて くれれば それでいいです｡
Mother is just happy to know you're doing well.
たとえ どんなんなったって➡
No matter what happens,
your mother will always be proud of you.
ｱﾝﾀは 母さんの自慢の息子です｣
♪♪～
《狂死郎:母ちゃん…》
Mom...
♪♪～
ようやく うっとうしいのが いなくなったな…｡
That annoying woman is finally gone.
あれだな… 母ちゃんなんて➡
Now I know that a Mom is nothing if not annoying.
うっとうしいだけだっつうのが よくわかったわ｡
True.
そうｱﾙな！ そうですね｡
I agree.
(３人)１… ２… ３… ４…｡
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...
(３人)５… ６… ７… ８… ９… 10…｡
["Keep an Eye on the Chief for the Day"]
(爆発音)
Damn! It's a raid!
(清河)ｸｿｯ 手入れだ！ 逃げろ!! ﾊｧﾊｧ…｡
Run!
Too!
(沖田)とぉ！ (清河)ｸﾞｯ!!
I-It's the Shinsengumi!
(浪士)し… 真選組だ～！
清河 七郎…｡
Shichiro Kiyokawa,
you're under arrest for the bombing of the Planet Kinmoku Embassy,
金黙星大使館襲撃 及び幕吏殺害➡
murder of Shogunate officials and destruction of a coffee shop.
ついでに 喫茶店破壊の容疑で 逮捕するぜい！
You're the ones who busted up the coffee shop!
(清河)っつうか 店は お前が壊したんだろうが！
What's going on?
It's the Shinsengumi!
(町人)真選組が また やりやがった!!
The Shinsengumi's at it again!
[The Shinsengumi's At It Again]
Oh...
(近藤)へぇ～ 寺門 通 大江戸CD大賞で 新人賞 受賞か！
Tsu Terakado won the New Singer Award at the Edo CD Grand Prix.
(近藤)すげえなぁ！ (土方)違う 違う その上の記事｡
Amazing.
Not that. The article above it.
Oh... Serial kidnappings of women, eh? How frightening.
(近藤)へぇ～ 連続婦女誘拐事件か 怖えなぁ！
(近藤)でも お妙さんは 絶対 大丈夫だよな｡
But Otae-san is safe for sure.
(土方)違う 違う その右の記事｡
Not that. The article to the right.
(近藤)総悟が またやったか…｡
Oh... Sogo did it again, eh? You take the responsibility, okay?
責任は お前がとってくれよな｡
(土方)違う 違う ｱﾝﾀのせい！
No, no. It's your fault.
(近藤)え～っ 犯罪というものは➡
All crimes result from vulnerabilities in your heart!
すべからく心のｽｷから 生まれるものでございます！
It's something you could say about both those
これは 罪を犯す側 そして その被害に遭う側➡
who commit crimes and those who are its victims, wouldn't you say?
両方に言えることでは ないでしょうか！
(近藤)こちらの心構えしだいで➡
What I want to say is that depending on your mental attitude
犯罪は 未然に防げると 言いたいわけです！ ｵｼﾞｻﾝは!!
you can prevent a crime before it happens.
What I want to say is:
(近藤)春だからって あんまり浮かれんなよと➡
don't get into too festive a mood just because it's spring!
言いたいわけです！ ｵｼﾞｻﾝは!!
That's what I want to say!
(近藤)しかしながら 皆さんの協力なくして➡
However, it's darn near impossible for us to protect the peace
江戸の平和を守ることなど➡
in Edo without everyone's cooperation!
私たちには 到底ﾑﾘな話であります！
いいですか！ 皆さん｡
Listen to me, everyone!
At this time when everyone is in a festive mood,
浮かれちゃう こんな時期こそ 戸締まり用心 ﾃﾛ用心！ ﾊｲ!!
we need to lock down and beware of terrorists! That's right!
What's the matter? You have no spirit. Come on, shout out!
(お通)あれれ～？ みんな 元気がないぞ～!!
ほら もっと大きな声で！
(お通)浮かれちゃう こんな時期こそ➡
In this festive time, we need to lock down and beware of terrorists! Sell your kidneys!
戸締まり用心 ﾃﾛ用じん臓 売らんかい くそったりゃあ～！
Sell your kidneys, dammit!
(観衆)じん臓 売らんかい くそったりゃあ～！
(お通)こんにちは～！
Good afternoon.
真選組 一日局長を務めさせて いただくことになりました！
I'm Chief of the Shinsengumi for a day, Tsu Terakado!
寺門 通で～す！
Everybody! Don't get carried away by the festive mood just because it's spring.
みんな～ 春だからって➡
浮かれてちゃﾀﾞﾒだぞうさんの ｳﾝｺ めっさでかい！
Elephant turds are huge!
(観衆)めっさでかい！
They're huge!
今日は お通が全力で 江戸の平和を守ってみせるから➡
I will do all I can to protect the peace in Edo today.
Help me out, okay? Cat poop smells awful!
みんな手伝ってねこのｳﾝｺ めっさくさい！
(観衆)めっさくさい！
Awful!
それじゃ １曲 聴いてください！
Okay, then, listen to this song!
『ﾁｮﾒ公なんざ ｸｿくらえ!!』｡
"Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!"
[Note: Translated as "Eat Shit, You Bleeping Pigs!" And chome = bleep]
(歓声)
ﾄｼ… やっぱ呼んでよかったﾅﾎﾟﾘﾀﾝ｡
Toshi, I'm glad we invited her, after all. Neapolitan.
Hell no! Rocky III "The Flames of Friendship"!
[Note: It was actually the Japan release version of Rocky IV that had the additional title "Flames of Friendship"]
んなわけねえだ 『ﾛｯｷｰⅢ 炎の友情』…｡
Chome Chome Chome Chome Ko!
♪♪｢ﾁｮﾒ！ ﾁｮﾒ ﾁｮﾒ ﾁｮﾒ公｣
♪♪｢ﾎﾟﾘ！ ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘくらえ｣
Poli Poli Poli Poli Eat it!
Chome Chome Chome Chome Ko!
♪♪｢ﾁｮﾒ！ ﾁｮﾒ ﾁｮﾒ ﾁｮﾒ公｣
♪♪｢ﾎﾟﾘ！ ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘ!!｣
Poli Poli Poli Poli Poli Poli!
♪♪｢ﾎﾟﾘ ﾎﾟﾘ！｣
Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!
[Note: "Bleeping Pigs Eat Shit!"]
♪♪｢ﾁｮﾒ公なんざ ｸｿくらえ～｣
[To improve the Shinsengumi's image, Otsu-chan becomes Chief for a day.]
[Otsu's new song, "Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!" was produced by "Tsunpo"!]
♬～ (ﾃｰﾏ音楽)
♬～
Continued Use of Excessive Force
"Mission" No Longer Reason Enough