[Chome Chome Chome Chome Koh! Poli Poli Poli Poli Eat it!]
["Keep an Eye on the Chief for the Day"]
["Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!" Tsu Terakado's 4th single. Now on sale!]
Listen up!
(近藤)いいか 今回の 特別警戒の目的は…｡
The purpose of today's special assignment
江戸市民に 犯罪への 警戒を呼びかけるとともに➡
is to implore the citizens of Edo to be on the lookout for crimes...
最近 急落してきた 我ら➡
and to restore the Shinsengumi's reputation, which, quite recently, has been severely tarnished.
真選組の信用を 回復することにある｡
(近藤)こうして ｱｲﾄﾞﾙの お通ちゃんに一日局長を➡
So, pop idol Otsu-chan will be our "Chief For The Day" and help us improve our public image!
やってもらうことになったのも➡
ひとえに ｲﾒｰｼﾞｱｯﾌﾟのためだ｡
(近藤)いいか お前ら… くれぐれも今日は暴れるなよ｡
So listen up! Whatever you do today, just be on your best behavior!
(近藤)そして お通ちゃん➡
And also respect Otsu-chan... I mean the Chief...and learn how to capture people's hearts!
いや 局長を敬い 人心をとらえる術を習え｡
It's really Otsu-chan!
(隊士)ひゃっほう 本物のお通ちゃんだ｡
ｻｲﾝ！ ｻｲﾝくれ～!!
Your autograph! Please give me your autograph!
(近藤)ﾊﾞｶ野郎！
Idiots!
これから 市民に 浮かれんなというときに➡
We won't be able to control the citizens if we can't even control ourselves.
ﾃﾒｴらが 浮かれてどうすんだ｡
(近藤)すみません 局長｡
Sorry about that, Chief. I haven't trained them very well...
(近藤)私の教育が 行き届かないばかりに｡
(お通)いえ｡ (近藤)ちゃんと言っときます｡
That's all right.
(隊士)ﾃﾒｴも ｻｲﾝ… もらってんじゃねえか｡
What's with your uniform?! You got her autograph!
どうすんだ その制服！
I'll wear it forever. As long as my life lasts!
一生 背負ってくさ この 命 続く限り！
(沖田)いやぁ すっかり 士気が上がっちまって…｡
Well, it seems morale has suddenly gone up.
(土方)士気が 上がってんじゃねえよ｡
It isn't morale. They're just flipping out.
舞い上がってんだよ｡ (沖田)寺門さん｡
Terakado-san, this is today's schedule.
(沖田)ｺｲﾂが今日のｽｹｼﾞｭｰﾙでさ｡ (お通)あっ はい｡
Oh, right.
まぁ ｱﾝﾀは 何もしないで 笑って立っててくれりゃ➡
All you have to do is stand there and smile, so take it easy.
いいから 気楽に…｡ (お通)あの…｡
Um...
私 やるからには 半端な仕事は嫌なの｡
If I'm going to do anything, I don't want to do it halfway.
どんな仕事でも 全力で取り組め➡
My father always told me
that no matter what the job is, I should tackle it with everything I've got.
って 父ちゃんに言われてるんだ｡
(土方)いや しかし…｡ (お通)たとえ １日でも➡
Well...but...
Even if it's just for a day, I want to do a good job as Chief,
局長の務めを立派に 果たそうと 思って➡
真選組のｲﾒｰｼﾞ改善のために➡
so I've thought up various ideas to help improve the Shinsengumi's image.
何ができるか いろいろ考えてきたんだ｡
(土方)いや いいって ｱﾝﾀは いるだけで…｡
No, that's all right. Just your being here...
ちょっと！ あなたたち➡
Hey, you guys! That's enough!
いい加減にしてよ！
そんな ｹﾝｶばっかりしてるから➡
You have a bad reputation because all you do is fight!
あなたたちは 評判が悪いの｡
Settling everything with violence is as low as you can get!
なんでも暴力で 解決 するなんて 最低だよ｡
(お通)もう 今日は 暴力禁止｡
As of right now, I'm banning violence for today.
(お通)その腰の物も外して｡
Take off those swords on your waists!
おいおい… 小娘が すっかり親玉気取りか？
Hey, does this little girl really think she's the boss?
ｿｲﾂらは そんじょそこらの奴に➡
Those guys can't be controlled by just anyone.
しきれるような 連中じゃねえんだよ｡
And besides, there's no way we could enforce anything without our weapons.
それに 武器なしで 取締り なんて できるわけねえだろう｡
刀は 武士の魂…｡
The sword is a samurai's soul.
すみませんでした 局長！
We're sorry, Chief!
(土方)転職でもするか…｡
Should I change careers?
(近藤)ﾄｼ！ 総悟！ なにをやってんだ｡
Toshi! Sogo! What're you doing?! Hurry up and drop your weapons!
(近藤)お前たちも 早く武装解除せんか｡
近藤さん ｱﾝﾀは 頭を➡
Kondo-san, I think you've dropped your brain.
もう少し武装する必要がある｡
今日は１日 ｲﾒｰｼﾞｱｯﾌﾟに尽力せんか｡
We have to work at improving our image!
俺が何も考えずに お通ちゃんを➡
Do you think I called Otsu-chan over here for no reason?
お呼びしたと思うのか｡ (土方)いや…｡
No, I think you called her because you had lecherous motives.
(土方)いやらしいことを 考えて お呼びしたと思う｡
(近藤)お通ちゃん いや… 局長はな➡
Otsu-chan... I mean, the Chief...
一度 ｽｷｬﾝﾀﾞﾙで 干されて 落ちるところまで落ちた➡
was once hung out to dry because of a scandal and she hit rock bottom.
にも関わらず ﾈﾊﾞｰｷﾞﾌﾞｱｯﾌﾟの精神で➡
But despite that, she sang anywhere she could with a never-give-up attitude.
どんな場所でも歌い続け 音楽ﾌﾟﾛﾃﾞｭｰｻｰのつんぽに➡
And when music producer Tsunpo recognized her talent,
その才能を見込まれ 以前の ｲﾒｰｼﾞを見事 払拭し 今では➡
they completely cleaned up her image.
Today, she's returned to be one of Edo's top pop idols.
江戸でも 屈指の ｱｲﾄﾞﾙに返り咲いた➡
不死鳥のようなｱｲﾄﾞﾙなんだぞ｡
She's a phoenix-like pop star!
あなたたちが陰で ﾁﾝﾋﾟﾗ警察24時➡
I know people call you the 24-hour police thugs behind your backs.
と言われているのは 知ってるわ｡
Now that I'm Chief,
私が 局長になったからには つんぽさんから叩き込まれた➡
I will do my best to thoroughly improve your public image
芸能戦術で 徹底的に ｲﾒｰｼﾞ改善を図ってみせる｡
using the show business strategies pounded into me by Tsunpo-san.
まず あなたたちにつきまとう 物騒なｲﾒｰｼﾞを 取り払わなきゃ｡
First, we must erase the brutal image that has followed you around!
そのためには 規則から改善 していくのがいい と思うの｡
So, I think we should start by changing this rule.
(お通)局中法度➡
Rule: "Do not violate the Way of the Samurai.
｢士道に背くまじきこと これを犯した者 切腹｣｡
Violators must commit seppuku."
(お通)かっこいいけど やっぱり これじゃ怖いよ｡
It sounds cool, but it's a little scary.
ということで… 今日から これで いきましょうが焼き｡
So, from today on, we'll go with this. Pork ginger sauté.
(お通)｢語尾になにか ｶﾜｲｲ言葉を付けること➡
Add something cute to the end of your sentences.
これを犯した者 せっぷｸﾛｰﾝ人間｣｡
Violators must commit seppuku. Cloned human.
(土方)いや かわいくねえし➡
That wasn't cute. You left in the most dangerous part: seppuku.
一番 物騒なもの 丸々 残ってるから 切腹って…｡
それは 侍らしさを表現する には 削れないからくだのｺﾌﾞ｡
I couldn't remove it without losing the samurai style. Camel hump.
(土方)侍らしさなんて もはや微塵も残ってねえﾑｰﾐﾝ｡
No samurai style whatsoever is left- Moomin.
そう そう そういう感じ｡ (土方)うるせえよ！
There you go. That's it.
Shut up!
土方さん 仕方ありませんぜ｡
There's nothing we can do about it, Hijikata-san.
今日 １日くらい 我慢しやしょうゆを➡
Let's just grin and bear it today. Drink one-liter of soy sauce and die, Hijikata, you bastard.
１ﾘｯﾄﾙ飲んで死ね 土方 この野郎｡
お前が使うと より 憎たらしさが増すんだけど｡
When you say it, it sounds even more hateful.
あと やっぱり 男だらけの むさいｲﾒｰｼﾞが拭えないから➡
Also, we can't erase the image that you're a bunch of grubby guys,
親しみやすさのある ﾏｽｺｯﾄ的 ｷｬﾗが 必要だと思うのり弁…｡
so I think you need a friendly mascot- Nori bento.
[Note: Nori bento = seaweed boxed lunch]
(お通)で 私なりに考えて みたんだけﾄﾞﾒｽﾃｨｯｸﾊﾞｲｵﾚﾝｽ｡
So, I came up with one. Domestic violence.
(お通)こっち こっち｡
Over here, over here.
The Shinsengumi mascot: Makoto-chan.
(お通)真選組 ﾏｽｺｯﾄｷｬﾗ 誠ちゃん｡
(土方)だから 全然 かわいくねえし…｡
That's not cute at all!! What's this got to do with the Shinsengumi?!
(土方)これ 真選組と 何のつながりが あんだよ｡
(土方)なんで 死体背負ってんだ!?
Why's he carrying a dead body?! Which one? Which one is Makoto-chan?!
(土方)どっちだ!? どっちが誠ちゃんだ｡
The horse. Sweet bean jelly.
(お通)馬のほうだようかん｡
I've never seen a mascot with such dismal eyes!
(土方)こんな哀しげな瞳を した ﾏｽｺｯﾄ見たことねえよ｡
(土方)かわいいどころか お前 うっすら悲劇性が➡
Forget being cute, I see...
a symbol of tragedy!
見え隠れしてるじゃねえか｡
(銀時)あ… やっちゃったな｡
Oh... I did it...
(土方)やっちゃった って言ったよ 今 何？
He said he did it! What? Is that what he did?
そういうこと？ ﾄｼ 今の時代 ｽﾄﾚｰﾄに➡
Toshi, these days just being cute isn't enough. Yogurt.
かわいいだけじゃ 通用しないんだﾖｰｸﾞﾙﾄ｡
よく見てみろ なかなかｷﾓｶﾜ…｡
Take a good look. It's quite gro...cu...
(土方)ﾃﾒｴ 何しやがんだっふんだ｡
What'd you do that for! Daffunda!
[Note: "Daffunda" was an expression used by comedian Ken Shimura in his short sketches.]
あ… やめてんしん丼｡
Oh stop it. Tenshindon.
[Note: Tenshindon is egg on rice. Like egg foo yung.]
♪♪～
They walk haughtily through the streets.
♪♪｢偉そうに 正義かざし｣
♪♪｢でかいﾂﾗして 町を歩く｣
As they flaunt "justice."
♪♪｢建て前で すべて語り｣
Everything they say is for the sake of appearances.
♪♪｢真実に 口を閉ざす｣
But they close their mouths when it comes to the truth.
いや 局長の人気は さすがです｡
I gotta say, Chief, your popularity is just what I expected.
どこ行っても 愚民どもで➡
Everywhere you go it's packed with fools. Fall off a cliff and die, Hijikata.
あふれかえってます ぜっぺきから落ちて 死ね 土方｡
But what is this song?
しかし なんだ？ この曲は｡
俺たちのこと ﾊﾞｶに してるようにしか➡
It sounds like she's mocking us. Get punched and kicked and die, Okita.
聞こえんなぐる蹴るの 暴行を受けて 死ね 沖田｡
You're too self-conscious.
(沖田)そりゃ 自意識過剰 って ﾔﾂでさ… あっしには➡
It sounds like a sweet love song to me. Die of gas poisoning and go to hell, Hijikata.
甘いﾗﾌﾞｿﾝｸﾞに聞こえます ｶﾞｽ中毒であの世へいけ 土方｡
みんな～ どうもありがとうｷﾋﾞｳﾝｺ～！
Thank you, everyone! Corn poop!
(みんな)とうｷﾋﾞｳﾝｺ～！
Corn poop!
よけい ｲﾒｰｼﾞが➡
Sounds like it'll make our image even worse. Fall off a cliff and die, Okita.
悪くなりそうだんがいから 落ちて死ね 沖田｡
(沖田)実際 ﾃﾛが起きたら どうすんでしょ？
What if there actually is a terrorist incident?
(沖田)刀も 持ってねえのにえたぎった➡
We don't have our swords. Get splashed with boiling water and die, Hijikata
湯をあびて死ね土方｡
I don't care anymore. Moomin, kill Okita!
(土方)もう 俺の知ったこっちゃねえﾑｰﾐﾝ｡
(土方)沖田 殺せ｡ (沖田)死ね 土方｡
Die, Hijikata.
Die, Okita.
(土方)死ね 沖田｡ (沖田)死ね 沖… 間違えた｡ 土方｡
Die, Okita. Oops, I mean Hijikata.
Great job, Chief.
(近藤)お疲れさまでした 局長｡ あ ありがとう｡
Thank you.
いやぁ さすがですな 局長｡
Wow. You're amazing, Chief.
ほんのちょっとの工夫で➡
I never realized how you could gather
so much attention with just some small twists. Bamboo shoots.
こんなに注目が集められるとは 思いませんでしﾀｹﾉｺ！
When it comes to a positive image, it's difficult to create, but easy to destroy.
ｲﾒｰｼﾞはね 作るのは難しいけど 壊すのは簡単なんだ｡
あなたたちは もともと最悪のｲﾒｰｼﾞだったから➡
You people had the worst possible image to begin with,
粉々になるまで 壊すだけだようかいｱｽﾞｷ洗い｡
so we just had to start from scratch. Phantom azuki bean washer.
Hey, she says the worst things with the greatest of ease...
おい… さらりと とんでもねえこと言ったよ｡
しかし 悲しい話です｡
It's a sad story.
我々は江戸の平和を思い 日々 働いているのに➡
We work hard every day to protect the peace in Edo,
どうも空回りしているようで…｡ 我々の目指す姿と➡
but we just seem to be running in circles.
What we aspire to be and the image people have of us are totally different. Limbo dance.
人々の抱く我々のｲﾒｰｼﾞは 開いていくばかﾘﾝﾎﾞｰﾀﾞﾝｽ｡
でも 真選組のみんなは偉いよ 普通は 他人が自分を➡
But you Shinsengumi guys are quite commendable.
Usually, people can't even take an honest look at how others see them.
どう思ってるかなんて 直視できないもん｡
でも 人の目ばかり気にしてても➡
But if you're too concerned with how others see you,
身動きとれなく なっちゃうようかいﾇﾗﾘﾋｮﾝ｡
you'll be paralyzed. Slippery phantom.
なに？ この会話 気持悪ぃんだけど｡
What's with these conversations? It's kind of creepy...
(お通)私も そうだったの｡
I was the same way.
I was rocked by a scandal and became so concerned about how everyone saw me
ｽｷｬﾝﾀﾞﾙで たたかれて 人の目ばかり気になって➡
怖くて外にも出られなくなって しまったんたんﾀﾇｷのｷﾝﾀﾏ｡
that I became too afraid to even step outside. Badger's balls.
(沖田)今 ｷﾝﾀﾏっつった？ ｱｲﾄﾞﾙが ｷﾝﾀﾏっつった!?
Did she just say "balls"? A pop idol said balls? Is she really a pop idol?
あれ ﾎﾝﾄに ｱｲﾄﾞﾙですかい？
(お通)でも 人の心なんて➡
But it's not easy changing people's minds.
そう簡単に 左右できるものじゃないし｡
もう いいや 私にできるのは➡
I just said, forget it.
I decided to become the best person I could be.
私が理想とする私を 目指すことだけだって開き直って｡
そしたら 目の前が ﾊﾟｰｯと開けﾃﾘﾔｷﾊﾞｰｶﾞｰ｡
After that, everything seemed a lot brighter. Teriyaki burger.
でもね それは 人の心をうかがって苦しんだ➡
But I think I was only able to come to that realization because of all the time
あのときが あったから できたことだと思うなぎﾊﾟｲ｡
I had spent suffering under other people's image of me. Eel pie.
人の目を気にしすぎても ﾀﾞﾒだし➡
It's not good to be too concerned with how people see you...
無視してもﾀﾞﾒだし 難しいねこの恩返し｡
But you shouldn't ignore them, either. It's difficult---the Cat Returns.
でも みんななら きっとできるよ｡
But I'm sure you all can do it. You're already suffering through it. Princess Mononoke.
だって こうして ちゃんと もがいているもののけ姫｡
お通ちゃん ｱﾝﾀ いい女だっふんだ！
Otsu-chan... You're a good woman. Daffunda.
あっ！ 今ので だっふんだ２回言ったよね！
You just said "Daffunda" twice.
次 言ったら切腹だからくだのｺﾌﾞ！
The next time you say it, you'll have to commit seppuku. Camel hump.
あっ お通ちゃんも それ２回言った象さんの鼻！
Oh, you said that twice, as well, Otsu-chan. Elephant's trunk.
え～！ じゃあ今のなし｡ 内緒ね｡
What? Then let's say it never happened.
２人だけの秘密ねずみのｼｯﾎﾟ！
It'll be our secret. Just between the two of us. Mouse tail.
(笑い声)
I feel like knocking them out, but...
《２人:なんか… ぶっとばしてやりたいんだけど》
You bastard! You were fooling around with Otsu-chan!
(新八)ﾃﾒｴ！ なに お通ちゃんと ｲﾁｬついてんだ!!
ｷﾞｬｰ！ まこっちゃんが!!
Mako-chan's...!
まこっちゃんの中に もう１人の まこっちゃんがぁ！
There's another Mako-chan inside Mako-chan!
Huh? Where'd the top half go?
あれ… さっきまでの上半身は？
あぁ やっちゃったよ｡
Oh... I did it...
やっちゃったな おい… やっちゃったよ…｡
I totally did it... I did it.
完全に ｲﾉｼｼかと思ったものなぁ やっちゃったなぁ…｡
I thought it was a boar. Now I've done it.
(店主)旦那 何があったか知らねえが➡
Sir, I don't know what happened, but what's done is done.
やっちゃったもんは しかたねえよ 飲んで忘れちまいな｡
Drink and forget about it.
ｵﾚもさぁ 反射的に 矢を射ってしまったものなぁ…｡
I shot that arrow on a reflex. Now I've done it...
やっちゃったなぁ おい…｡
(土方)やっちゃったじゃねえ!!
Quit saying you did it!
What're you doing?! You're the mascot.
お前 何してんの!? ﾏｽｺｯﾄだろ！
なんで ﾏｽｺｯﾄが こんな所で飲んだくれてんだよ！
What's the mascot doing here drinking?
やっちゃったなぁ…｡
Now I've done it... I never imagined a person would appear deep in the forest.
まさか あんな森の中で➡
人間が出てくるとは 思わないものなぁ｡
おい… なんか 恐ろしげな 事件の全貌があらわに？
Hey! It sounds like a frightening incident is about to come to light...
誠ちゃん！
Makoto-chan!
Makoto-chan, over here, quickly!
(お通)誠ちゃん こっち 早く早く！
A group of children are leaving the temple school!
(お通)寺子屋の集団下校！ ﾁｬﾝｽだよ➡
This is your chance! Children are pure, so it's easy to instill a good image!
子供は純粋だから ｲﾒｰｼﾞを植えつけやすい｡
しかも親の耳に入れば あっという間に評判が上がる｡
And if they tell their parents, your reputation will grow in no time!
(お通)子供といえば かわいいものが大好き｡
Children like cute things...
(お通)誠ちゃんの出番よ｡ (土方)待て！
Time to make your appearance, Makoto-chan!
Wait! Do you know how heavy a past he's shouldering?
お前 ｿｲﾂが どれだけ重たい過去を 背負ってるか わかってるのか!?
(近藤)おい 逆～ まこっちゃん それ逆～！
Hey! You're upside-down! Mako-chan! That's the wrong way!
(土方)完全に ただのﾊﾞｹﾓﾉじゃねえか！
That's nothing but a complete monster!
Look out!
(近藤)ああっ 危ない！ 前!! そのまま前！
Forward! Keep going forward! Oh no! He dropped the dead body!
(近藤)あっ やばい… 死体落ちた｡
(土方)いい！ 死体は そのままでいい➡
Never mind! Never mind the dead body! Just go away! You'll just scare them!
置いてけ よけい怖くなるだけだから！
(土方)死体は いいって 言ってんだろうが！
I said to ignore the dead body!
I hate leaving school as a group.
(子供)集団下校とか たるいよね～｡
(子供)しようがないよ 今 あれ流行ってんじゃん｡
Can't be helped. Not with that happening a lot lately. That's scary.
(子供)怖えよな あれ｡
(子供たちの悲鳴)
ｲﾃ…｡
Ouch...
Hey, were we a success?
おい 成功したか？
わかんないっすよ そんなの｡
I wouldn't know. I'm totally in the dark.
ﾎﾞｸ 真っ暗なんだから｡
Dead body! Well? Did we succeed, dead body?
死体 どうなの？ 成功した？ 死体｡
もう 死体のﾌﾘは いいっつうの！
Quit playing dead!
おい… 何してんだ ﾃﾒｴら｡
Hey, what're you guys doing?!
(土方)なんか おかしいと 思ったら➡
I thought something was odd.
やっぱり ﾃﾒｴらか！ なにしてんだ ｺﾗ!!
So it was you guys after all! What's the big idea?!
No! You've got the wrong idea! Otsu-chan asked us to...
違うんですって！ ﾎﾞｸらは お通ちゃんに…｡
(土方)うるせえ！ 人のｼﾞｬﾏばっか しやがって➡
Shut up! You're always interfering! What's your game?!
なんだ？ 何が目的だ？ いや ﾎﾝﾄ ﾎﾞｸら➡
No, it's true. Otsu-chan asked us to...!
お通ちゃんに…！
(お通)んんっ…！
♪♪～
(近藤)14時17分 公務執行妨害で 現行犯逮捕｡
14:17: You're under arrest for obstruction of justice.
What? Are you serious?
(３人)えっ ﾏｼﾞで？
そりゃあ ないんじゃないの？
You can't do that! "Obstruction of justice"? Just what did we do?!
公務執行妨害って ｵﾚたちが何したってよ？
(土方)うるせえ!! ﾊﾟﾚｰﾄﾞのｼﾞｬﾏしただろうが！
Shut up! You interfered with the parade!
聞けって！ だから それはさ お通ちゃんに頼まれて…｡
Listen to me. Like we said, Otsu-chan asked us to...
(神楽)ｱﾀｼたちが 自ら進んで➡
We'd never voluntarily help you guys!
お前らの手伝いなんか するわけないｱﾙ！
手伝いって お前 あんなもん ｼﾞｬﾏ以外の何ものでねえよ！
Help, you say? You guys were nothing, but interference!
今度 一日局長 やることになったから➡
She said she wanted our help because she was going to be Chief for a day.
協力してほしいって お通ちゃん個人に雇われたんです｡
Otsu-chan hired us personally.
いい娘だよ ありゃ…｡ たった今日一日のために➡
She's a fine girl. She hired us with her own money just for this day.
自腹で ｵﾚたち雇ったんだから｡
You guys are trampling on her good will.
その気持を お前らは踏みにじったｱﾙ！
踏みにじったのは お前ら！
You're the guys who trampled on it!
Okay, never mind that. Let us see Otsu-chan!
いいから お通ちゃんに 会わせてくださいよ！
らちがあかない！ そうだ！ 局長に会わせろ ｺﾗ!!
We're not getting anywhere this way!
He's right. Let us see the Chief! Today, you're nothing but a powerless gorilla!
今日一日は お前は ただの無力なｺﾞﾘﾗにすぎん！
(近藤)無力なｺﾞﾘﾗなんて 存在しません！
A powerless gorilla doesn't exist. A gorilla's grip is nothing to sneeze at!
(近藤)お前 ｺﾞﾘﾗの握力 ﾊﾝﾊﾟねえんだぞ！
Tsk...
(土方)ﾁｯ… おい 総悟｡
Hey Sogo, where's our Chief for a day?
一日局長は？ それが…➡
Well... We haven't seen her at all for a while.
先程から とんと姿が見えやせんぜ！
どこ行っちまったんだろう｡ (近藤)察しろよ｡
Where could she have gone?
Think like her.
女の子が黙って いなくなるといったら➡
When a girl disappears without telling anyone,
ｳﾝｺ的なものに決まってるだろう！ さらっと流せ!!
it usually has to do with number two.
Let it go. That's why you guys can't get girlfriends.
そんなんだから お前たちは ﾓﾃないんだ!!
そうか… ｱﾝﾀがﾓﾃない理由が わかった｡
I see. Now I know why you're not popular.
失礼なこと言うな！
Don't say such rude things!
Otsu-chan doesn't fart and she doesn't poop!
お通ちゃんは ｵﾅﾗもしないし ｳﾝｺもしない！
全部 かわいい卵で出てくるんだ！ ｳｽﾞﾗみたいな!!
Everything comes out as cute little eggs! Like a quail's.
それで 純情 保たれたと思ってんの!?
Do you really think of that as innocent?! It's just obscene!
かえって卑猥だぞ！
(近藤)ｱｲﾄﾞﾙだってｵﾅﾗもするし ｳﾝｺもするんだよ！
Pop idols fart and they poop, too! Look reality in the face, you idiot!
現実を直視して生きろ！ ﾊﾞｶﾓﾉ!! じゃあ ｱﾝﾀは➡
Then are you saying Sis farts, too?!
姉上もｵﾅﾗするというのか!? [TEL] (近藤)当たり前だ！
Of course she does! I accept that!
(近藤)ｵﾚは そういうところも [TEL] 受け止めている｡
But in Otae-san's case, it's a pink plume.
(近藤)ただし お妙さんの場合 [TEL] ﾋﾟﾝｸの煙が出てきます｡
Hello.
はい｡ なんだ 山崎か…｡
You're the one who can't see reality!
What is it, Yamazaki? I'm busy right now. I'm hanging up.
今 とりこんでるんだ!! 切るぞ！
山崎ですかい？
Was that Yamazaki? Wasn't he working on the female serial kidnappings?
たしか連続婦女誘拐のほう 洗ってるんでしたっけ？
お通ちゃんのｻｲﾝ 欲しがってましたぜ｡
He wanted Otsu-chan's autograph.
[Otsu]
心配いらねえ… ｵﾚが書いておいた｡
Don't worry. I wrote it for him...
More importantly, where could that girl have gone?
それより あの小娘 ﾎﾝﾄに どこ行ったんだ？
(沖田)案外 お通ちゃんも 目を離したｽｷに➡
Maybe Otsu-chan was kidnapped while we weren't looking?
さらわれちまったんじゃ ないですかい？
Strange how those incidents all happened within the Shinsengumi's jurisdiction.
(沖田)不思議と あの事件 ｳﾁの管轄でばかり➡
起きやがるんでさあ｡ (土方)冗談じゃねえよ｡
Don't be silly.
(土方)ｵﾚたちの目の前で そんなこと起きたら➡
If something happened right in front of our eyes,
the Shinsengumi would be finished for sure.
今度こそ 真選組は おしまいだ！ 小便か何かだろう？
She's probably peeing or something.
(沖田) 近藤さんと変わりゃしねえや｡
You're no different than Kondo-san. That's why you're not popular with women.
(沖田) だから ｱﾝﾀら ﾓﾃねえんですよ｡
じゃあ お前は 何だっていうんだ？
Then what about you?
あの日でさあ…｡
That day...
Shall we do a group social party next time? We'll settle it once and for all...
今度 合ｺﾝでもやるか！ そこで 白黒はっきり…｡
(隊士)副長！ いました!! あそこに…！
Vice-Chief, we found her. There!
(志士)諸君は 本当に真選組が➡
People, do you believe the Shinsengumi is capable of protecting the peace in Edo?
この江戸の平和を 守るに足る存在だと思うか!?
(志士)否！ ﾔﾂらは脆弱で➡
No! They're just weak, lazy people who waste your tax money!
ただ税金を ﾑﾀﾞに消費する怠け者である！
As proof, we easily abducted their Chief for a day!
(志士)その証拠に我らは ﾔﾂらの前から➡
たやすく一日局長を 拉致することに成功した｡
ここに居並ぶ少女たち… そして この寺門 通が➡
These girls and Tsu Terakado are decisive proof of their incompetence!
ﾔﾂらの無能ぶりを示す 何よりの証拠である！
(志士) この世界は 腐りきっている｡
This world is totally rotten! Let us all put a change to that!
(志士)それを 我らで 変えようではないか！
(花野ｱﾅ)現在 異菩寺に立てこもる 犯行ｸﾞﾙｰﾌﾟは➡
[Note: Iboji is a play on the homonym that means "hemmorhoids"]
Currently, the radical group entrenched at Iboji Temple...
[Are the Anti-foreigner Faction terrorists behind the serial kidnappings of women?]
天狗党と呼ばれる 攘夷浪士集団で➡
is an Anti-foreigner Faction ronin group calling itself the "Tengu Faction."
ここ最近 起きた 一連の婦女誘拐事件は➡
It has just been revealed that the recent serial kidnappings of women were their doing.
彼らの犯行であったことが 判明いたしました｡
(花野ｱﾅ)更に 本日 真選組 一日局長を 務めていた➡
Furthermore, they have barricaded themselves in the pagoda with the Shinsengumi Chief for a day,
人気ｱｲﾄﾞﾙの寺門 通さんを 人質として➡
popular pop idol Tsu Terakado-san, as their hostage!
塔に立てこもっている状態です｡
(花野ｱﾅ)犯人たちの要求は 真選組に逮捕された➡
In their manifesto, they are demanding the release of their Anti-foreigner Faction comrades
攘夷浪士たちの解放… そして 真選組の解散と声明にあります｡
who were arrested by the Shinsengumi and the dissolution of the Shinsengumi.
(花野ｱﾅ)これらの要求が 通らない場合➡
They claim they will kill all the hostages if their demands are not met!
人質を 全員 殺害すると 訴えています｡
(花野ｱﾅ)これに対して 真選組が どう対応するのか➡
How the Shinsengumi will respond to this situation is being closely monitored.
今後の動向が注目されます｡ (ﾌﾞﾚｰｷ音)
あっ 来ました！ 真選組が来ました!!
Here they come. The Shinsengumi has arrived!
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)今回のことは どう責任を とられるつもりなんですか？
How will you take responsibility for this incident?
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)話を お聞かせ願います！
Please tell us!
Kondo-san!
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)近藤さん！ お通ちゃんは あなたたちの目の前に➡
Otsu-chan was right there with you when this happened, wasn't she?
いたんですよね？ 何も気づかなかったんですか？
Didn't you see anything?
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)彼らは 真選組の解散を 要求していますが➡
They're demanding the dissolution of the Shinsengumi. What will you do?
どうされるつもりなんですか？
やっちゃったなぁ おい｡
Now I've done it... I've done it. I never thought we'd be arrested.
やっちゃったよ～｡
まさか 逮捕されちゃうとは 思わないものな…｡
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)あなたは誰ですか？ 真選組とは どのような関係で？
Who are you? How are connected to the Shinsengumi?
不当逮捕以外の 何ものでもないものなぁ｡
It was a false arrest. That's what it was.
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)不当逮捕？ 真選組にですか!?
False arrest?! By the Shinsengumi?!
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)何があったか詳しく お聞かせ願えませんか？
Won't you please tell us the details of what happened?!
It was more torture than an interrogation...
取り調べというより 拷問だったものなぁ｡
話を ややこしくするんじゃねえ！ いいかげんにしろよ ﾃﾒｴら!!
Don't complicate the situation!
Cut it out, you guys! If you hadn't shown up, this would never have happened...
もとはといえば ﾃﾒｴらが出てこなきゃ…｡
Take a look, viewers. He's like a thug!
(花野ｱﾅ)皆さん ご覧ください！ まるでﾁﾝﾋﾟﾗです!!
ｸｯ…｡ (近藤)ﾄｼ！ やめて～!!
Toshi, stop it. If our reputation gets any worse, we'll be...
これ以上 評判が落ちたら ｵﾚたち もう…｡
(土方)こんなにﾏｽｺﾐがいたんじゃ ﾍﾀなﾏﾈできねえ！
We can't do anything with this many people from of the media here.
(土方)連中め 徹底的に ｵﾚたちを おとしめる腹づもりだ｡
Those guys are out to completely ruin us.
みんな～！ ｸｸｯ… 来たか 真選組｡
Everyone!
So the Shinsengumi are here! I hope you have prepared for dissolution.
解散の手続きは 済ませてきたんだろうな！
What? What did you just say?
(近藤)えっ？ 何て言ったの？ 今｡ すみませ～ん！
I'm sorry. Speak louder, please!
(近藤)もう一回 大きい声で お願いします！
(お通)みんな～！ (志士)ｸｸｯ… 来たか 真選組｡
Everyone!
So the Shinsengumi are here! I hope you have pre...
(志士)解散の手続きは… って ２回も言わせんな！
Don't make me repeat myself! It's embarrassing!
(志士)なんか 恥ずかしいだろうが！
It says: "We can't hear you. Please write it down."
(志士)｢きこえづらいんで 筆記で お願いします｣… ｸｯ｡
(土方)いいか！ できるだけ時間を稼ぐんだ!!
[Your writing's too small, can't read it.]
Listen up! Try to buy as much time as you can.
二番隊 三番隊は このｽｷに裏に回れ！
Units 2 and 3, use the opportunity to flank them.
(志士)ｷｻﾏら なめてんのか!?
Are you guys mocking us?!
聞こえないﾌﾘしろ！ 聞こえないﾌﾘ…｡
Act like you can't hear them.
｢釈放の件については 今 上と掛け合っている｡
"Regarding the hostages' release, we are discussing it with our superiors.
だが 時間がかかりそうだ｡ しばし 待たれよ｣と書いてあります！
But it will take time. Please wait." That's what it says.
Hmph...
ﾌﾝ… ﾔﾂらの言うことを信じろと？
They want us to believe them?
(沖田) ｢証拠が欲しい｡ お前たちが➡
"We want proof. Proof that you've become our loyal dog.
我らの忠実な犬になった という証拠が｡
３回まわってﾜﾝと言え｣と➡
Turn around three times and bark."
書いてありますぜ｡ あの野郎ども…｡
Those bastards...
(沖田)｢土方限定｣と書いてます｡
It says, "Hijikata only."
(土方)ｳｿつけ！ お前 明らかに今 つけ足したろう!!
Don't lie! You clearly tacked that on just now!
You have no choice, Toshi. Do it for Otsu-chan.
(近藤)しようがねえよ ﾄｼ！ お通ちゃんのためだ!!
うん しようがねえよ ﾄｼ｡
Yeah, you have no choice, Toshi.
(土方)ｵﾒｴにﾄｼとか 言われたくねえんだけど！
I don't want you calling me Toshi.
ﾜﾝ！ (ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)あ～っと やりました～!!
Oh yes, he did it!
あの 鬼の副長と恐れられる 土方 十四郎が～!!
Toshiro Hijikata, the man feared as the demon vice-chief!
His attempt to make himself look good made it all the more embarrassing!
(ﾚﾎﾟｰﾀｰ)これは 屈辱！ ちょっと➡
かっこよく やろうとしたあたりが よけいに恥ずかしい！
Hijikata-san, I made a mistake.
土方さん 間違えました｡
｢腹が減ったから ｶﾚｰを用意しろ｣ の間違いでした｡
It actually read, "We're hungry, so prepare some curry."
どんな間違いだ～！ まるまる違う 文章じゃねえか～!!
What kind of mistake was that?!
[Is hot curry okay? Or mild curry?]
The two sentences are totally different!
Chief! That doesn't matter at all!
局長！ どうでもいいから そんなこと～!!
What a sight to behold!
(花野ｱﾅ)これは なんという光景でありましょうか｡
(花野ｱﾅ)攘夷浪士たちから 恐れられる➡
The Shinsengumi, feared by the Anti-foregner ronin, are making curry!
あの 真選組が ｶﾚｰ作り！ 完全に ﾃﾛﾘｽﾄの言いなりです！
They're completely at the terrorist's beck and call!
みんな…｡ ﾌｯﾌ… なかなか おもしろい｡
Everyone...
This is interesting. Maybe we can have some fun before our meal.
食事前に 余興と いこうではないか｡
[Do the robot dance.]
ｸｿが… 調子に のりやがって｡ ﾛﾎﾞｯﾄﾀﾞﾝｽを やれだ？
Shit. They're getting carried away. It says to do the robot dance. Okita only.
沖田限定だ｡ ﾏｼﾞですかい？ しかたねえ｡
Seriously? I have no choice.
ﾛｹｯﾄﾊﾟ～ﾝﾁ！ ﾌﾞﾌｫ～!!
Rocket Punch!
ﾀﾞﾝｽ って 言ってんだろうが！ それ 必殺技じゃねえかよ！
They said "dance"! That's a killing technique!
(沖田)ﾛｹｯﾄﾊﾟﾝﾁから入る ﾀﾞﾝｽなんでさぁ｡
It's a dance that begins with a Rocket Punch.
(土方)なんか うめえし…｡
He's pretty good... What's with this guy? He has no weaknesses!
(土方)なに ｺｲﾂ!? 弱点なしか！
(土方)ものまねか… 限定なし｡
Mimic someone. Open to all.
I have no choice. I'll take this one.
しかたねえ ここは ｵﾚがやろう｡
沖田のﾏﾈ～!!
I'll mimic Okita!
(沖田)ｴﾋﾞのﾏﾈ～！
Mimicking a fractured skull!
おい お前さ…➡
Hey, you... Seriously, come on, let me hit you just once, okay?
ﾏｼﾞ ちょっと頼むから １発だけ 殴らせてくんない？
痛くしないから｡ 頼むから!!
I won't hurt, so please?
Nope.
ｲﾔでぃ｡ ふざけろ ｸｿｶﾞｷ!!
Damn rotten kid!
(花野ｱﾅ)お～っと！ ついに 仲間割れだ！
Uh-oh, there's dissension in the ranks!
(花野ｱﾅ)真選組 堕ちた！ もはや 見る影なし！
How the Shinsengumi has fallen!
There's practically nothing left of it!
局長！ なんか どんどんｲﾒｰｼﾞが➡
Chief! Our image is getting worse and worse!
悪化していくんですけど～！ って 局長～!!
Chief!
The Chief ran away to the land of curry!
局長が ｶﾚｰの国に 逃げた～!!
おかわりは どうだい？ まこっちゃん｡
Want seconds, Mako-chan?
やっちゃったなぁ おい…｡
Now they've done it. Those guys really did it...
結局 やっちゃったなぁ ｱｲﾂら…｡
やっちゃったもんは しかたないよ｡ まこっちゃん｡
Can't do anything about what's already done, Mako-chan...
まこっちゃん もう 帰っていいよ｡
Mako-chan, you can go home. We'll take care of it from here.
あとは ｵﾚたちで なんとか するから｡
そうもいかねえ｡ ｲﾒｰｼﾞﾏｽｺｯﾄだから ｵﾚは お前らの｡
We can't do that. I'm the image mascot... Your image mascot.
お通ちゃんには 前払いで 金 もらってるから➡
Otsu-chan paid us in advance, so we have to see the job though.
きっちり やらねえと…｡ ｲﾒｰｼﾞﾏｽｺｯﾄって なに？
What is an image mascot? Is that the image we present?
ｵﾚらって そういうｲﾒｰｼﾞなの？
こういう感じだろう？ どういう感じだ？
Like this?
Like how?
ﾊﾞｶで物騒で 江戸の平和を守る感じ｡
Stupid, dangerous, protectors of the peace in Edo.
ﾊﾞｶな感じしか 出てないんだけど…｡
I only see the stupid part of it...
さて 行くか｡
Well, time to get going... Hey, ready the curry.
おい ｶﾚｰ 用意しろ｡
(近藤)おい どこに行く？ まこっちゃん｡
Hey, where're you going, Mako-chan?
言ったろう？ まこっちゃんは お前らの ｲﾒｰｼﾞﾏｽｺｯﾄだ｡
Like I said. Mako-chan is your image mascot.
ﾊﾞｶで物騒で 江戸の平和を守る！
Stupid, dangerous and protectors of the peace in Edo.
[Kill Kondo!!]
They're getting carried away...
ｱｲﾂら… 調子に のりやがって！
いいかげんにしやがれ！ んなﾏﾈ できるわけないだろう!!
Cut it out! You know we can't do that!
やめて お願い｡ もう… あぁっ！
Stop it, please. That's enough...
できなくば 近藤の代わりに この女が 死ぬだけだ！
If you can't do it, then this woman dies in Kondo's place.
People who can't even protect one person are trying to protect Edo.
(志士)人１人も守れん輩が 江戸を守ろうとは… 笑わせる｡
What a laugh.
う～っす！ んっ？
Hey there.
I've brought your curry.
ｶﾚｰ 届けにきました～｡ (志士)なんだ？ お前…｡
What are you...?
ﾊﾞｲﾄで ﾏｽｺｯﾄやってまして…｡
I was hired part-time to be their mascot. How did I get mixed up in all of this?
もう 参りましたよ こんなことに 巻き込まれて…｡
We're having fun right now, so just go over there. Leave the curry there...
ちょっと！ 今 いいところだから あっち 行っててくんない！
ｶﾚｰ そのへんに 置いといて｡ このへんすか？
Around here?
…よっしゃ～！
Okay!
来い！ (隊士)局長 なに やってんすか!?
Come on!
Chief! What're you doing?
(隊士)冗談 やめてください！
Stop horsing around!
Otsu-chan! I'm sorry!
(近藤)お通ちゃん！ すまなんだ!!
After all you did to help us, this is who we are!
いろいろ 手伝ってもらって なんだが➡
結局 ｵﾚたちは こういう連中です！
もがいてみたが なんにも 変われなんだ！
We struggled to change, but we're still the same!
We're still the same, crude bunch of guys that people hate!
(近藤)相も変わらず ﾊﾞｶで粗野で 嫌われ者の ﾑｻい連中です！
It's a crudeness we can't get rid of in just a day!
(近藤)どうやら ｺｲﾂは 一朝一夕でとれる➡
ﾑｻさでは ないらしい！ だがね お通ちゃんの言うとおり➡
But! Like you said,
もがいて 自分たちを見つめ直して 気づいたこともある！
there are things we noticed as we struggled and looked at ourselves!
ｵﾚたちは どんだけ 人に嫌われようが➡
We don't care how much people hate us, or how much they laugh at us!
どんだけ 人に笑われようが 構いやしない！
However!
ただ！ 守るべきものも守れん 不甲斐ない男にだけは➡
We absolutely do not want to become shameless men
絶対に なりたくないんだとね！
who cannot protect what we're supposed to protect!
(近藤)剣を抜け お前ら～!!
Draw your swords, men!
(近藤)たとえ ｵﾚの屍を越えても➡
Even if you must step over my corpse,
守らなきゃならねえもんが お前たちには あるはずだ！
there are things you men must protect!
(近藤)さぁ かかってきやがれ～!!
All right, charge!
ｶﾚｰ 届けに参りました～｡ (志士)あぁ そこ 置いといて｡
I've brought your curry.
Okay, leave it there.
このへんですかね？ (志士)ちょ… うるさい！
Right here?
Stop bothering us! This is the best part!
(志士)今 いちばん いいところだろうが～!!
Oh, I'm sorry.
あぁ すいませ～ん！
局長～!!
Chief!
おぉぉ～っ!! (物音)
(志士)なぁ～っ!? 何をしている 貴様ら～!!
Ack! What're you guys doing?!
あぁ～ やっちゃったなぁ おい…｡ やっちゃったよ～｡
Now I've done it... Now I've done it...
What're you doing?!
何をしている！ 斬れ！ 斬れ～!!
Kill them! Kill them!
ぬっ…!? えいっ！
This wig is so itchy; I can't stand it.
(山崎)あぁ～ ｶﾂﾗは 頭が かゆくなって いけねえや｡
お通ちゃん あとで ｻｲﾝくださいね！
Otsu-san, please let me have your autograph later, okay?
Damn that guy. He was hidden amongst the women the whole time.
ｱｲﾂ… ずっと 女たちの中に 紛れ込んで… まさか…!?
Does that mean...?!
(志士)ぬぉっ…！ なっ…!?
さようなら～ めん替え玉｡
Good-bye. Ramen noodle substitute.
(爆発音と悲鳴)
Those guys rock...
(つんぽ) なかなか ﾛｯｸな連中でござる｡
Shinsuke... It would seem your ambitions aren't going to be easily achieved.
晋助… 拙者らの野望も 容易には果たせぬぞ これは…｡
[TEL]
Hello, Tsunpo here.
はいはい？ つんぽですけど～？
Oh, Otsu-dono? You say you've come up with some good lyrics?
あぁ～ お通殿 なになに？ いい詩が 浮かんだ？
[A Great Achievement for Makoto-chan!]
What a coincidence. I just came up with a good tune.
(つんぽ)そりゃあ 奇遇｡ 拙者も いい曲が…｡
It's a bit on the heavy side, though.
ちと ﾍﾋﾞｰだが…？
["When Looking For Something You've Lost, Remember What You Were Doing On The Day You Lost It."]
Tatsuma, for someone who appears every week in the intro, we haven't seen you in a while.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto travels across the galaxy doing business as the leader of the "Pleasure Support Club."]
[Once upon a time, he, Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi were comrades who fought together in the Anti-foreigner War.]
(ｾﾚﾅ)わぁ～！ (ﾌﾟﾗﾀｰﾇ)選ぶ前に➡
この ﾎﾟｹﾓﾝ図鑑をどうぞ｡
ありがとうございます 博士｡ あっ ついた｡
その図鑑は ﾎﾟｹﾓﾝに向ければ 勝手に検索してくれるんだ｡
試してごらん｡ はい！
(ﾎﾟｹﾓﾝ図鑑)｢ﾌｫｯｺ｣… ｷﾂﾈﾎﾟｹﾓﾝ｡
小枝を食べると元気になり➡