[When watching TV, please keep the lights on and watch from a distance.]
[Note: This image was drawn by Koji Ohishi, author of Maison De Penguin]
[By Baka Hiko]
[Maison De Penguin]
[A girl who can see the future and a ninja with hemorrhoids. The ending of the story cannot be changed...]
[And we're using a new ending song from this episode on. So please watch all the way to the end.]
♪♪～
《全蔵:侍が 犬だとすれば 忍は猫か…｡
If a samurai is a dog, then a Shinobi is a cat.
犬は 主人につく｡
A dog is loyal to his master.
忠義 信義 仁義… 主人のためならば命も省みない｡
They're loyal, faithful, and have a sense of duty.
A dog will sacrifice his life for the sake of his master.
ﾔﾂらは美しく生きることに 喜びを抱く｡
He takes pride in living an honorable life.
だが しかし 主を失えば たやすく道を失う｡
However...if he loses his master, he also loses his path in life.
猫は違う…｡
Cats are different.
ｴｻにさえ ありつければ どんな主人にも擦り寄っていく｡
As long as it's kept fed, a cat will call anyone master.
ｵﾚたちの生き方には 美しさも醜さもない｡
Ours is neither a beautiful nor ugly life. In it...
そこにあるのは…》 (猫の鳴き声)
《全蔵:己の忍の技への執着のみ｡
we are only attached to our skills as Shinobi.
己の技を絶対の美にまで 昇華することのみが至高の喜び｡
Our supreme joy is perfecting our Shinobi skills into the ultimate art.
[Nin Nin Pizza]
そうして 今日も… 猫は夜を跳ねるのだ》
And once again, the cat is on the prowl tonight.
(全蔵)うん 余裕だな｡ 完璧な仕事だ！
Lots of time to spare. A perfect job.
♪♪～
["The Preview Section in JUMP is Always Unreliable"]
(全蔵)ああ～っ 痔が…！
My hemorrhoids!
(銀時)んだよ またかよ！
What? Not again?
なんだ このﾊﾞｲｸは？ 人を引き寄せるのか？
What's with this scooter? Are people drawn to it?
また お前か！ なに お前は!? ｵﾚの肛門に恨みでもあんのか!?
You again?! Who the hell are you?!
What have you got against my butthole?!
違うんだよ｡ ﾊﾞｲｸが お前の 肛門に吸い込まれるようにさ…｡
Nothing. But it seems like my scooter got sucked into your anus.
人のｹﾂの穴を 立体駐車場みたいに言うな！
Quit talking about my butthole like it's some parking stall!
やばい… 宅配の時間が｡
Oh damn, my delivery!
こうしちゃいられねえ！
I don't have time for this!
Huh? Hey!!
あっ… おい！
《間に合うか…!?》
Will I make it in time?!
(全蔵)すみませ～ん！ 宅配ﾋﾟｻﾞ ﾆﾝﾆﾝﾋﾟｯﾂｧです！
Excuse me! I have a delivery from Nin Nin Pizza!
(阿国)ｼ～ｯ！
(阿国)ばあやたちに ﾊﾞﾚる｡ 静かにせい｡
My nanny will find out. Be quiet.
あの… ﾋﾟｻﾞを お届けにまいりました｡
Umm... I'm delivering a pizza.
(阿国)それ… ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣じゃぞ｡
That's JUMP.
(全蔵)あのﾎﾞｹ～ｯ！ すみません！ 今すぐ引き返して とって…｡
Why that jerk!!
I'm sorry, I'll get it back right away...
Never mind. I've wanted to read this week's issue anyway.
構わん｡ ちょうど 今週号が 読みたかったところじゃ｡
ご苦労じゃった｡
Thank you.
それから ぬし…➡
By the way,
尻に災厄の相が出ておる｡
your buttocks will suffer a great misfortune.
気をつけい…｡
Be careful.
何を…｡
What?
Hey! Gimme back my JUMP!
おい！ ｵﾚの｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣返せ！
あぁ～っ！ 何!? 何なの お前!? ﾎﾝﾄ 何なの!?
What the hell do you want? Really? What is it?!
ﾋﾟｻﾞ届けてやったのに その言い草はなんだ！
I carried your pizza all the way over here and that's all you have to say to me?!
届けにきたって なんで食ってんだよ！
Why're you eating it?!
違うんだよ これ｡
You're mistaken.
ﾋﾟｻﾞが勝手に ｵﾚの口に 吸い込まれるようにさぁ…｡
It's like the pizza wants to be sucked into my mouth...
(全蔵)明らかに お前が吸い込んでんだろ！
You're the one sucking it up!
違うんだよ これ！ あれ？ とろけそうだよ…｡
No, I'm not. Man, it's like it wants to melt in my mouth...
(全蔵)とろけてんのは お前の脳髄だろ！
Your brain is what's melting!
《全蔵:まったく 侍ってﾔﾂには ﾛｸなﾔﾂがいねえ…｡
Damn it, there's not a decent samurai around!
武士道だなんだと きれいごとを並べてるぶん➡
You hear all kinds of noble talk about Bushido and "the way of the samurai",
ああした輩に出会ったときの 印象は最悪だ…｡
but when you actually meet one, whatever good impressions you had go down the crapper.
ｼﾞｬｲｱﾝが いいことをすると ものすごくいいﾔﾂに見えるが➡
It's like when that jerk Jaian does something good, he seems like a fantastic guy.
[Note: He's referring to the characters, Jaian (a bad guy) and Shizuka (a good guy), in Doraemon]
しずかちゃんが 悪いことをすると➡
But when sweet Shizuka-chan does something bad, she seems awful.
ものすごく悪いﾔﾂに見えるのと 同じ原理だ｡
これを 忍の世界では➡
In the Shinobi world,
｢ｼﾞｬｲｱﾝ映画版 なんか いい人に見える原理｣と呼ぶ》
this is called "The Truth Behind Jaian Looking Like a Nice Guy in the Movie Version."
[Note: This refers to Jaian in Doraemon. In the TV series, Jaian is always the antagonist, but he shows a redeeming side in the movie.]
(才蔵)首尾はどうだ 全蔵？
How are you faring, Zenzo?
(全蔵)ちょろいな… ありゃ ｻﾞﾙだ｡ どこからでも侵入できるぜ｡
Piece of cake. An easy target. I can get in from anywhere.
なんなら 今晩にでも 忍び入ってやろうか？
If you like, I can even infiltrate it tonight.
(才蔵)さすがは 摩利支天の 異名をとる忍のなかの忍｡
No wonder your alias is "Marishiten." You are truly a Shinobi among Shinobi,
[Note: Marishiten is a Buddhist deity. A patron goddess of warriors.]
やはり お前を誘って正解だった｡
I was right to recruit you.
(全蔵)で あのｶﾞｷは いったい 何者だ 才蔵？
And? Just who is that kid, Saizo?
(才蔵)天眼通の阿国｡
Okuni the Clairvoyant.
(才蔵)幼少の頃より 陰陽占術 易経卜占など➡
At a tender age, she mastered
various arts of divination including Yin-Yang fortune-telling and I-Ching.
[Note: I-Ching is an ancient Chinese cosmology/philosophy tome that describes a system to identify order in the chaos of random events.]
あらゆる占術を修め➡
いかなる事象をも 予見して託宣する➡
She has predicted the occurrence of many events.
神童と呼ばれる巫女｡
A shrine maiden prodigy.
(祈祷をする声)
ﾚｲﾌﾞﾄﾞｱ株を売り払うのじゃ！
Get rid of Ravedoor stocks!
[Note: Refers to Livedoor, a Tokyo internet service provider that was charged with securities fraud.]
ﾎﾟﾘｴﾓﾝは数日中に ﾊﾟｸられるぞ！
Poriemon will be arrested in a few days!
[Note: Refers to Livedoor, a Tokyo internet service provider that was charged with securities fraud.] [Note: Livedoor was founded by Takafumi Horie, nicknamed Horiemon.]
(主人)はは～っ 阿国様！ ご託宣ありがとうございました｡
I understand. Thank you, Okuni-sama!
これは わずかばかりですが…｡
This is just a token of my appreciation.
(才蔵)金のなる木だ…｡
She is a tree upon which gold grows.
いくらでも利用しがいがある｡
We have great use for her. And my new master is quite taken by her.
ｵﾚの新しい主人も えらく ご執心でね｡
人さらいってわけか…｡ 堕ちたね ｵﾚたち お庭番も｡
A kidnapping, eh? We Oniwabanshu have fallen quite low.
(才蔵)だが ｵﾚたちにしか こんな芸当はできまい？
But only we are capable of pulling this off.
己が狙われていることを 予見している者をさらうなど…｡
Kidnapping someone who can foresee such a scheme.
(才蔵)腕がならんか 全蔵？
Aren't you tempted to try it, Zenzo?
(才蔵)前金だ…｡
Here is an advance.
残りは 仕事が 片づいたあとに渡す｡
The remainder will be paid upon completion of the job.
え… これ ﾎﾟﾗｷﾞﾉｰﾙなんだけど｡
Huh? This is Porraginol.
[Note: Refers to Borraginol; a brand name for hemorrhoid cream.]
(全蔵)ｵﾚの報酬 ﾎﾟﾗｷﾞﾉｰﾙなんですけど？
I know I asked for Porraginol. But this one's the cream!
これ しかも 注入ﾀｲﾌﾟなんですけど!?
ｵﾚ 頼んだの 座薬ﾀｲﾌﾟなんですけど！
I asked for the suppositories! And hey, this one's all used up!
しかも これ 使用済みなんですけど…！
《全蔵:まったく… 忍にも ﾛｸなﾔﾂはいねえ｡
Really, even Shinobi are jerks.
After living in the regular world away from the secluded world of the Shinobi for so long...
長らく非常な忍の世界から抜け 娑婆で生きていただけに➡
I'm painfully aware of just how terrible the Shinobi world was.
改めて ひどい世界にいたことを 痛感する…｡
映画版ｼﾞｬｲｱﾝを見たあとに ﾃﾚﾋﾞ版ｼﾞｬｲｱﾝを見た感覚に近い｡
It's like watching the TV version of Jaian after you've already seen the movie version.
In the Shinobi world,
これを忍の世界では➡
this is called the "You're Back to Your Old Ways Jaian,
｢やっぱ戻ってるよ ｼﾞｬｲｱﾝ！
But I Won't Forget How You Were in the Movie" phenomenon.
でもｵﾚは あんときの お前を 忘れないぜ現象｣と呼ぶ》
そろそろ来る頃と思っておったぞ｡
I've been expecting you.
(全蔵)おもしろいｶﾞｷだ｡ ﾎﾝﾄに なんでも見えるらしい｡
You're an interesting kid. I guess you really can predict everything.
What's so interesting about that?
何が おもしろいものか｡
There's no fun to life when you can see the future.
先の見える人生に 楽しみなどあるまい｡
(全蔵)ｵﾚが来ることを知って 逃げずにいたのは➡
You knew I was coming yet you didn't run away.
今日は ｵﾚに その気がないと 知っていたからなのか？
Is that because you knew I didn't intend to do anything today?
あっ… 今週号か！
This week's issue!
Sorry about the pizza the other night.
先日は ﾋﾟｻﾞの件 失礼したな｡
I'm very commited when it comes to completing a job.
ｵﾚは 仕事は きっちり こなすﾀﾁなんだ｡
[Note: The manga panels were drawn by Koji Ohishi, author of Maison de Penguin.]
(阿国)不思議なもんじゃのう｡
How strange.
何ごとをも見通せる 天眼通を持つﾜｼが➡
I have the power of divination and can foresee many things.
｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣の先の展開だけは まったく読めんのじゃ｡
But I cannot predict what will be in the next issue of JUMP.
Oh, really?
へぇ～ そうなのか｡ 読めんのう｡
I didn't foresee this. I didn't see that Maison de Penguin would end.
[Note: A manga serialized in SHONEN JUMP.]
『ﾒｿﾞﾝ･ﾄﾞ･ﾍﾟﾝｷﾞﾝ』が まさか 打ち切りになるとは読めんかった｡
そっちかい！ おもしろいのう｡
Is that what you meant?
This is so much fun.
Say, can you bring me another one next time?
のう また持ってきてくれるかい？
I'm rarely allowed to go out, so I can't go buy it.
ﾜｼは なかなか 外に出してもらえんから➡
買いに行けんのじゃ｡
次に来るときは お前をさらいに来るときだぜ｡
The next time I come, it will be to kidnap you.
(阿国)そうじゃのう｡ 次は 少女漫画がいいぞ｡
Let's see. I'd like a Shojo manga next time.
[Note: Shojo manga is manga created for the young girl audience.]
最近の少女漫画は 過激だとかで➡
Shojo manga have been pretty extreme lately, so the nannies only let me read JUMP.
ばあやたちが ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣しか見せてくれんのじゃ｡
You're not gonna run away?
逃げねえのか？ 逃げても しかたあるまい｡
It's useless to run away, right?
I don't need clairvoyance to see what's coming next.
天眼通など使わなくても ﾜｼには見える｡
To see what lies in my future.
ﾜｼの この先の未来が…｡
No matter where I go, I cannot escape.
(阿国)どこへ行こうと 逃れられはせぬ｡
I've grown accustomed to being used, as well as foreseeing it.
利用されるのも それを予見するのも もう慣れた｡
Wherever I go, the same future awaits me.
どこへ行こうとも ﾜｼには 同じ未来しか➡
待ってはおらんのじゃ…｡
This power...I wish I never had it.
こんな眼 持たなければ よかったのにのう…｡
≪(ばあや)阿国様！ ≪(ばあや)阿国様！
Okuni-sama!
あっ… ばあやの声じゃ｡ お前も戻ったほうがよい｡
Oh, it's my nannies. You'd better go.
見つかると面倒じゃ｡ あぁ わかった｡ すまねえな…｡
It'll be troublesome if they see you.
Yeah, all right. Thanks.
あっ 待て！ ん…｡
Oh wait...
約束じゃぞ｡
It's a promise. Next time bring me a Shojo manga.
次は 少女漫画じゃ｡
And so, I've been sensing an unknown shadow near Okuni-sama lately.
(ばあや)…というように 近頃 阿国様の身辺に➡
得体の知れぬものの影を 感じるでの｡
I think it's highly unlikely, but there's a possibility that it's an assassin.
(ばあや)まさかとは思うが 刺客の可能性もあるでの｡
(新八)それで その子の警護を ﾎﾞｸたち万事屋に依頼したいと…｡
And you want to hire the Odd Jobs as her bodyguards?
(ばあや)そういうことでの｡
Precisely.
Sure, if you're gonna pay us,
まぁ ちゃんと金が もらえるんなら➡
we'll do anything whether it's babysitting a kid or taking care of the elderly.
ｶﾞｷのお守りでも ﾊﾞﾊﾞｱの介護でも何でもやるけどよ｡
ﾌｩ… その阿国様ってぇのは いったい何者なんだ？
But just who is this Okuni-sama?
(ばあや)阿国様は 未来を予見することが➡
Okuni-sama is a special child who can foresee the future.
できる お方での｡ (神楽)ﾏｼﾞでか!?
Seriously?
She can predict the future? Then let's ask her to foretell our future!
未来が読めちゃうんですか？
それなら ﾎﾞｸらも 何か見てもらいましょうよ！
We just want you to guard her!
(ばあや)お前らは 警護だけしておればよいでの｡
(阿国)ﾜｼに警護など いらん｡
I do not need to be protected!
Okuni-sama!
(ばあや)阿国様！ 警護が いらないとは そんな…！
How can you say you don't need any protection?!
我らは 阿国様のためを思って！
We are only thinking of your safety!
あれが？ すごく ちっちゃい子ね｡
She's...?
She's still so young. She's probably never even fallen in love.
まだ恋もﾛｸに知らないはずね｡
Neither have you.
ｵﾒｴも知らねえだろうが！ んっ!?
(阿国)ﾜｼに かかわれば その者たちにも➡
Misfortune will befall them if they get involved with me.
また災いが訪れようぞ｡
(ばあや)何を おっしゃいますでの！
What are you saying?!
Now hurry and return to your room.
(ばあや)さぁさ お部屋に お戻りなさるでの｡
ちょっと待った！
Hold it!
If you can really foretell the future, predict something right now!
本当に未来が見られるってんなら 何か当ててみろや！
そうじゃな｡ そこのﾒｶﾞﾈ 頭に気をつけい｡
You are right. You there, with the glasses, watch your head.
えっ？ ﾎﾞｸ？ (神楽)ほちゃあ！
Huh? Me?
Whoa!!
(２人)ﾎﾝﾄだ！ 何それ!?
She was right!
What was that?! You just hit me because of what she said, didn't you, Kagura?!
今 言ったから殴ったでしょ 神楽ちゃん！
じゃあ 今度は ﾏｼﾞだ｡
I'm serious this time.
Okuni-sama, what must I do to acquire hoards of money?
阿国様 どうやったら 大金が手に入りますか？
Do not worry. You will get it immediately.
案ぜずとも すぐ手に入る…｡
Immediately...?
すぐ？ (ばあや)ﾊﾞｶなことやっとらんで➡
Stop your foolishness!
とにかく お前たちは 24時間 阿国様の警護にあたるでの！
And start guarding Okuni-sama 24 hours a day!
Here...
ほれ 金は払うでの｡
For your services.
おっ！ (３人)ﾎﾝﾄだ！
No kidding!
Remember that I told you.
(阿国)言ったじゃろ？ 面倒に巻き込まれるぞ｡
Nothing good comes from getting close to me!
ﾜｼに近づいて よいことはない｡
というか…｡
Oh, sorry.
あっ すみません！ 近づきすぎじゃ！
You're too close to me!
いや 何があるか わからないんで…｡
No, since we don't know what might happen.
阿国様の行くところ すべて守らせていただきます！
We will protect you wherever you go!
ﾄｲﾚじゃ｡ ﾄｲﾚくらい普通に行かせい！
I'm going to the toilet. Let me at least go there alone!
Okuni-sama is heading for the toilet. Over!
阿国様 ﾄｲﾚに向かわれます｡ ｵｰｳﾞｧｰ｡
Roger! She will arrive at the toilet in twenty seconds. Over!
ﾗｼﾞｬｰ｡ 20秒でﾄｲﾚ到着｡ ｵｰｳﾞｧｰ｡
Meaningless dispatches. This is so unnecessary.
無意味に無線か？ そんなん必要ないだろうに｡
Okuni-sama just made a retort. Over.
阿国様 ﾂｯｺﾐました｡ ｵｰｳﾞｧｰ｡
Roger. She will look exasperated from now on. Over.
ﾗｼﾞｬｰ｡ これから呆れます｡ ｵｰｳﾞｧｰ｡
(阿国)いちいち 報告せんで よろしい｡
It's not necessary to report every little thing.
Before she could look exasperated, she made another retort. Over.
呆れる前に もう一度 ﾂｯｺﾐました｡ ｵｰｳﾞｧｰ｡
Goodness, I can't endure this!
(阿国)まったく… つきあっておれぬわ｡
All green. Please make your way to the toilet.
(神楽)ｵｰﾙｸﾞﾘｰﾝ｡ ﾄｲﾚに誘導してください｡ ｵｰｳﾞｧｰ｡
ﾄｲﾚに危険物って どんな刺客じゃ｡
What kind of trap can be set in a toilet?
いや ﾎｯとしたとこをﾄﾞｶｰﾝ的な！
Well, just when you're relieved, it goes kaboom.
And when you do a number two, it goes kaboom once again!
ﾄﾞｶﾝと大きいのを出したとこを さらにﾄﾞｶﾝ的な！
No, a little girl would never go kaboom.
いや いくらなんでも 少女が ﾄﾞｶﾝは ないじゃろうに…｡
じゃあ ﾊﾞｷｭｰﾝ的な！ どんなｳﾝｺじゃ！
How about bakyuun then?
What kind of doo-doo is that?!
(阿国)…って ｳﾝｺって言ってしもうた!?
Oh no, you've made me say "doo-doo"!
Okuni-sama, your dinner is ready.
(ばあや)阿国様 お食事の用意ができましたでの｡
はい たんと食べるでの｡
Please eat your fill.
Not you three!!
(ばあやたち)って いや これ お前らじゃねえ｡ あれだから｡
No, we're just testing it for poison! This is part of our job.
毒見してるだけだから！ 仕事してるだけだから！
そうそう！ ちょっと 食べてみてるだけだから！
He's right! We're just taste-testing it, that's all!
これ おかわりね！ って 全部 食べきってんじゃん！
Seconds on this!
You're eating it all up!
おかわりしてんじゃん！ 何言ってんだ！
And you're asking for seconds!
What're you saying?! The poison might not be limited to what's here!
ここにあるのだけが 毒入りとは限んねえだろ！
Don't use soy sauce!
ｿｰｽかけんな！ ｼｪﾌに失礼だろ！
It's an insult to the chef!
なにが ｼｪﾌだ！ 味が薄いんだよ ﾊﾞｶﾔﾛｳ！
Who cares about the chef?! The taste is too bland, stupid!
ｿｰｽもかかってない 揚げ物なんてのは➡
A deep-fried dish without soy sauce on it is like
ｽｶｰﾄめくらねえ ﾏﾁｺ先生なんだよ ﾊﾞｶﾔﾛｳ！
Machiko Sensei without her skirt flipping up, stupid!
[Note: Machiko Sensei is an anime about a young, pretty teacher who wears a red mini-skirt; with lots of panty shots.]
(ばあや) 時代は変わったんだよ！ ﾎﾞｹ！
Times have changed, idiot!
Consider what it would mean for the TV station, you idiot!
(ばあや)局の都合 考えろ ﾎﾞｹ！ ﾊﾟﾝﾂぐらい いいじゃねえか！
What's wrong with panties?! We've done our share of revealing too!
こっちは 散々 出すもん出してきとるんじゃい！
(ばあや)なんの話してんじゃい！
What are you talking about?!
Zenzo, you must've left a scent behind. Now that kid has bodyguards.
全蔵… ｷｻﾏ においを残したか？
あのｶﾞｷに 警護がついたようだ｡
Humph, not to worry. We're proceeding tonight, as scheduled.
(才蔵)なに 案ずるな｡ 予定どおり 今夜 決行するぞ｡
(才蔵)おぉっ！
(才蔵)うおわちゃ！
♬～
ふわあぁ～！
銀ちゃん 私 もう眠いよ｡
Gin-chan, I'm so sleepy.
Too bad, Kagura-chan. This is work.
ﾀﾞﾒだよ 神楽ちゃん これ 仕事なんだから｡
それにしても あの子➡
Still...
That girl reads the same issue of JUMP over and over again.
同じ ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣を 何回も何回も読んでますね｡
Listen, Shinpachi...
いいか 新八！ ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣ってのはなぁ➡
JUMP is a magazine you must read over and over again...
ついつい 何度も 読み返しちまって➡
自分を 制御できなく しちまうもんなんだよ｡
because you can't control yourself.
ﾏｼﾞでか！ まるで 妻がいると知りながら➡
No kidding?
That's just like grown-up love where you have a wife,
ついつい 何度も会ってしまう 大人の恋ね｡
but keep meeting your lover over and over again.
いや… ｢少年ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣だから 大人の恋とは 対極にあるからね｡
No. That's Shonen JUMP, so it's totally different from grown-up love.
確かに 結末が わかってるもんを読んでも➡
Well, it can't be much fun reading it when you already know the ending.
味気ねえかもしんねえけどよ➡
それでも なんか よくわかんねえけど➡
Still, for some unknown reason, it's fun.
おもしれえんだよ｡ だから 何度も読めちゃうんだな➡
That's why it's easy to read it over and over again.
これが…｡ 要は ﾃｽﾄが うまくいかなかったのに➡
It's like doing bad on a test, but you can't wait until you get the test back.
ﾃｽﾄ返ってくるまでは ﾄﾞｷﾄﾞｷしちゃう あれだよ｡
You know...like when you mess up a math problem,
ほら！ 記号問題 間違えて書いて➡
but wonder if maybe you got it right, after all.
正解しちゃってるんじゃないかな とかさ…｡
Huh? Maybe that's not right.
あれ？ ちょっと違うか｡ うん？
(新八たちのいびき)
Hey, don't go to sleep.
お～い 寝るな！
I understand.
(阿国)わかるぞ｡ あっ？ わかった！
Huh? You agree?
I mean the teacher might have made a mistake while grading.
やっぱ 先生の 採点ﾐｽとかもあるからな！
結末がわかっていようが➡
Even if I know how things end, if I can enjoy the journey there, I should be happy.
そこに辿り着くまでの展開が 楽しめるのならば➡
ﾜｼは満足じゃ！ あっ そっちか！
Oh, that's what you meant?
(阿国)しょせん 漫画の結末なぞ 決まっておろう｡
And besides, manga endings are always pretty obvious.
｢ｵﾚたちの戦いは これからだ｣ みたいな感じじゃ｡
Sort of like "our battle is just beginning."
ﾜｼの希望通りになるものでもない｡
It's never the way I hope it would end.
しかし それが悲しいわけでもない｡
However, that doesn't make me sad. It's just like living.
生きることと同じじゃ｡ 生きることね…｡
Living, eh?
You're right. Manga endings might always be the same.
確かに 漫画の結末は 決まってるかもしれねえな｡
Don't you agree?
そうじゃろ｡ だがな 自分の人生に関しては➡
However...
When it comes to life, neither you nor I are mere readers. We're the writers.
ｵﾚも お前も 読者じゃねえ｡ 作者のほうだよ｡
結末くらい 変えられるだろ！
We can change...
the ending.
Crap, I'm such a worthless guy.
《まったく ｵﾚという男は ﾛｸなもんじゃねえ！》
This power...I wish I never had it.
((こんな眼 持たなければよかったのにのう))
It's not that I don't think it's tragic.
《哀れと 思わないわけではない｡
力になりたいと 思わないわけではない｡
It's not as though I don't want to help her.
However, when my body moves faster than my thoughts...
だが 思うよりも早く 体が 動く｡
感情が消え➡
When my emotions disappear...
己の体が ただ仕事を遂行するための➡
and my body becomes a mere tool with which to carry out a job...
１個の道具になったとき➡
体が闇に溶け合ったとき…➡
When my body melds into the darkness...
ｵﾚの体は 歓喜する》
I feel truly alive.
I am a cat to the core.
《全蔵: ｵﾚは 根っからの 猫らしい…》
(忍者)みごとですな！
Impressive.
No wonder he was once the leader of the Oniwabanshu.
(忍者)さすがは 元お庭番筆頭｡
He singlehandedly took control of the mansion.
１人で ほぼ屋敷を 制圧してしまいましたぞ｡
There's no need for us to get involved.
(忍者)これでは 我らの出る幕はありません｡
No...
いいや｡
(足音)
Okuni-sama!
(ばあやたち)阿国様！ 屋敷に侵入者が！
Intruders in the mansion!
わかっておる｡ え？ 銀さん！
I know.
Huh?!
Gin-san!
問題ねえよ！ 向こうから やってくれば ｵﾚたちが戦う！
No problem. If they come here, we'll fight them.
新聞屋でも 牛乳屋でも あしらうのは一流だ！
Newspapermen or dairymen, we'll take care of them.
Oh... You're very confident.
(忍者)ほう… たいした 自信だな｡
Hey, hey, what brings you here at this hour?!
おいおい こんな時間に なんですか？
ｸﾘｰﾆﾝｸﾞ屋さんですか？ ｹﾝちゃん呼ぶぞ ﾃﾒｴ！
Are you laundry men?
Want me to call you Ken-chan?
[Note: Refers to the "Kato-chan Ken-chan Gokigen TV" which featured funny home videos similar to America's Funniest Home Videos.]
その娘 天眼通の阿国と見受ける｡
That girl is Okuni the Clairvoyant. She is coming with us!
我らとともに 来てもらおう！ (ばあやたち)阿国様！
Okuni-sama!
あ？ あれの集金？ 人んちに 突然 来ちゃうってか｡
Huh? You came to collect her? So you just barge into someone's house like this?
I didn't pay.
[Note: Refers to NHK - national television station bill collectors who make home visits to collect fees.]
そりゃ 払ってないけどさ｡
But I don't watch your programs.
つうか 観てないから！ おたくの番組…｡
If you won't listen, then we'll just use force. Get them!
きかぬというなら 力ずくで奪うまで…｡
やれっ！ うぉぉ…！
てりぁ～！
どりゃぁぁ！ ほあちゃぁぁ！
♪♪～
Take me where you will. I'm prepared.
どこへでも 連れていくがよい｡ 覚悟は できておる｡
First, I want to ask you a question.
その前に お前にひとつ 聞きたいことがあってな｡
お前の その天眼通？
Your power of clairvoyance... I want you to foretell something for me.
そいつで 一丁 見てもらいたいものがあるんだ｡
(忍者)いたぞ！
There!!
Zenzo-dono, she is the clairvoyant...
全蔵殿！ ｿﾔﾂが天眼通の…｡
(忍者)これは!?
What...is this?!
(全蔵)ｵﾚが ｱｲﾂらを裏切って お前についたら➡
What are the odds of me winning if I betray those guys and come over to your side?
勝算は どのくらいあるんだ？
…めろ｡
St...
Stop. Or you'll die!!
やめろ｡ …お前 死ぬぞ！
いいねぇ… やっぱり こっちのほうが 暴れがいがある｡
Sounds good. That'll make fighting them more worthwhile.
You traitor!
裏切り者がぁっ！
Never mind me. Make your escape!
ﾜｼのことはよい！ 逃げろ！
Escape? Where? Are there some things you can't see?
逃げろったって どこにだ？
その眼にも 見えないものがあるってか？
Zenzo, you haven't changed at all.
(才蔵)全蔵！ 相変わらずのようだな…｡
死地の中でしか生きられぬ 忍の血をもつ 哀しい男よ｡
You are a pitiful man who cannot live unless it's amidst death.
お前の性は知っている｡
I know what you're like.
And I know to be cautious when dealing with an extremely sharp sword.
(才蔵)切れすぎる刃を扱うときは 注意が必要ということもな…｡
悪いな 才蔵… 猫は 気まぐれな生きﾓﾝだ｡
Sorry, Saizo. Cats are fickle creatures.
全蔵… お前は猫なんかじゃない｡ 化け猫だぁ！
Zenzo, you're not a cat. You're a cat monster!
As expected from someone who injects medicine up his butt everyday.
さすがは 日々 肛門に 薬を注入してるだけあって➡
狙いは 正確！
Your aim is perfect.
だから 注入じゃないの！ 座薬なの ｵﾚ！
I don't inject it! I use suppositories!
Whatever, whether it swells or bursts, you still have hemorrhoids!
しかし その肛門も 切れようが 腫れようが 同じ痔だ！
And depending on the location and condition, the pain and the treatment differ, you idiot!
(全蔵)だから… 場所と症状によって➡
痛みも治療法も 違ってくるんだ ﾎﾞｹｯ！
Besides, what're we talking about?!
…って 何の話してんの？ ｵﾚらっ！
I know you've suffered a lot from the pain of hemorrhoids. Of course, you know the treatment!
痔の苦しみを知っているｷｻﾏだ… そのくらいは想定済み！
Is that all I am to you?! Hemorrhoids?!
…っていうか ｵﾒｴにとって ｵﾚは 痔だけなのっ!?
Damn right!
(才蔵)ちぇすとおぉ！
見たか？ 我らの攻撃は ｼｬﾜｰﾄｲﾚのように溢れ出す！
Did you see that? Our attack will surge forth upon you like an overflowing toilet.
ｹﾂから… 離れろ！
Get away from my ass!
ぐっ…｡
(才蔵)ここまでだな 全蔵…｡
This is it, Zenzo.
…あぁっ！
Ah...
あきらめろ！ ｷｻﾏに この結末は変えられん｡
Give it up. You can't change this ending.
((自分の人生に関しては ｵﾚもお前も 読者じゃねえ｡
When it comes to life, neither you nor I are mere readers. We're the writers.
作者のほうだよ！ 結末くらい 変えられるだろう))
We can change the ending.
I don't know about that.
んなこと 知らねえよ！ ただな… ｵﾚは➡
However, I'm happy if the action is hot like in JUMP.
｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣みてえな 熱い展開なら なんでもいいぜ！
You fool! Pray that the netherworld has bidets!
こしゃくな…｡
あの世に ｼｬﾜｰﾄｲﾚがあることを 祈るんだな！
うわぁぁ！
ﾌﾌｯ…｡
はっ…｡
…たわけが！
You idiot...
I told you...
だから 言ったのに…｡
変えられるわけないのじゃ｡
You can't change what I see... There's no ending you can change!
変えられる結末など ないのじゃ！
There is.
(全蔵)あるよ！
な… ま… まさか…｡
Wha... N-No way...
...H-How...?
どうして…？
悪いな… 斬られちまった…｡
Sorry. It got cut.
You won't be able to read it anymore.
[Note: This manga, Ribbon, is a very famous Shojo manga magazine.]
(全蔵)これじゃ もう読めねえな…｡
♪♪～
《全蔵:何度も言うが 忍は猫だ｡
I'll say it over and over again. A Shinobi is a cat.
As long as he's fed, he'll follow anyone.
ｴｻにありつければ 誰にでも 擦り寄る｡
And he'll do rotten things without a care in the world.
汚ねえﾏﾈも 平気でする｡
Some may say we've sold out our honor.
節操がねえなんて いうﾔﾂもいるかもしれん｡
だが 他人にはわからねえ こだわりがあるのも 確かだ…》
But we adhere to certain rules others can't understand.
(全蔵)あぁぁぁ！
And so, the cat will be out on the prowl again tonight.
《全蔵:そして 今日も 猫は夜を 跳ねるのだ…》
[Preview]
What? An undercover report on Zura?!
How dare you leave me, the star, out of this?!
Fine, I'm not an Announcer Hananoana fan anyway. I'm a Ketsuunoana fan.
[Note: Word play on ketsunoana (the female announcer) which means asshole.]
The next episode... "Eating Nmaibo Can Make You Full in No Time!"
[Note: Spoof of Japanese snack "Umai Bo." A popular stick snack that comes in many different flavors.]
[Huh? Isn't Katsura growing his hair really fast? Some people think he's wearing a wig.]
[You'll lose your hair if you keep worrying about small things like that. By the way, his nickname is Zura, not Tsura.]
[Note: A word play. Refers to the Japanese alphabet sounds "Zu" and "Tsu" which often sound similar. And Zura means wig.]
(ルナ)宇宙開発が さかんな時代｡ ｽﾍﾟｰｽｺﾛﾆｰで➡
何不自由なく 暮らしていた 私たち７人と １ぴきは➡
修学旅行に出発した その日に 宇宙のあらしにあい…｡
(重力あらしの音)
見知らぬ わく星に 流れ着いた｡
そして 私たちの ｻｳﾞｧｲｳﾞｧﾙが始まった｡