♪♪～
(草野)皆さん こんにちは 草野 仁義です｡
まずは 独占ｽｸｰﾌﾟです｡ 今回 我が 『THE EDO』取材班が➡
あの 大物攘夷浪士と ｺﾝﾀｸﾄを取ることに成功しました｡
取材にあたったのは 花野ｱﾅです｡
(花野)はい 花野 咲です｡
今回 私が 突撃取材を 試みたのは こちら｡
(花野)有象無象の 攘夷浪士たちの中にあって➡
ひときわ 異彩を放つ 神出鬼没 変幻自在➡
弱きを助け 強きを挫く ﾗｽﾄｻﾑﾗｲ｡
幕府から 指名手配されながら 江戸市中の人気も高い この人物｡
狂乱の貴公子との異名をとる Ｋさんです｡
(草野)警察当局からは かなりの重要人物と➡
目されているようですね｡
(花野)現在 手配中ということもありまして➡
匿名 本人と特定できないよう➡
映像を 加工するのならという条件で➡
一日密着取材を 了承してもらいました｡
ﾍﾞｰﾙに包まれた 攘夷浪士たちの真実が➡
今 解き明かされる｡
Hello everyone, I'm Hitoyoshi Kusano.
[Note: Parody of Hitoshi Kusano, a former NHK announcer.]
彼らは この国の行く末に 何を見 何をなさんと考えているのか…｡
First, an exclusive scoop.
Our "The Edo" crew has successfully contacted a major figure of the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
それでは 『THE EDO』独占ｽｸｰﾌﾟ 日本の夜明け ｽﾍﾟｼｬﾙ！
Here is Announcer Hanano with the report.
[Note: Pronounciation of her name sounds like "nostril".]
Hello, I'm Saki Hanano.
[Note: Hanano-saki sounds like "tip of the nose" in Japanese]
My special report is about this man...
He is well-known to the Anti-Foreigner Faction...
yet is elusive like a phantom.
He saves the weak and conquers the powerful... The last samurai.
Wanted by the Bakufu, but popular among the people of Edo...
Also known as The Unstoppable, the one and only K-san.
He is considered a major figure by the police department.
Since he is currently a wanted man,
we cannot reveal his real name and we've kept his face hidden.
We were permitted only one day to interview him.
The mysterious veil shrouding the Anti-Foreigner Faction is about to be lifted and the truth revealed.
Where do they see this country going and what do they think must be done?
The Edo's special feature, "The Dawning of Japan."
A secret day in the life of The Unstoppable, follows right after these messages!
[Announcer Hanano's one day exclusive interview with rumored big time Anti-Foreigner ronin.]
[K-san The Unstoppable on the air!! Right after this!! Stay tuned.]
[THE EDO] [The Dawning of Japan Special The Unstoppable - One day undercover]
♪♪～
どうも はじめまして｡ 大江戸ﾃﾚﾋﾞの花野です｡
Hello, I'm Announcer Hanano from Edo Tonight.
(桂)どうも…｡
Hello.
Thank you for agreeing to our interview.
(花野)今回は 我々の取材に 応じてくださって➡
ありがとうございます｡ えっと… 確認させていただきますが➡
Please let me confirm. You are The Unstoppable, K-san?
あなたが 狂乱の貴公子 Ｋさんですよね？
Not K-san. It's Katsura.
Ｋさんじゃない 桂だ｡ え…？
いえ あの… 匿名にしてくれって そちら… か… Ｋつらさんが…｡
No, but... you asked me to use an alias...
K-tsura-san.
Ｋつらさんじゃない 桂だ｡
It's not K-tsura-san. It's Katsura!
Umm... Are you sure you want to give your real name?
あの… 本名伏せなくて いいんですか？
あぁ そうか｡ ﾋﾟｰｯて入れてくれ｡
Oh right. Add in a "pii."
[Note: "pii" as in a bleep censor]
Okay, I'll add a "pii."
じゃあ ﾋﾟｰｯて 入れさせてもらいます｡
So [censor beep]-san.
それで …さん｡ …じゃない！ 桂だ｡
Not [censor beep]! It's Katsura!
いや… もういいです｡
Oh, well...never mind.
Oh, but we'll distort your face, so your identity won't be revealed.
でもですね 顔にﾓｻﾞｲｸ入れますんで たぶん ﾊﾞﾚないと思います｡
Distort?! What? Is my face distorted right now?!
ﾓｻﾞｲｸ!? なんだと！
今 ﾓｻﾞｲｸが かかっているのか!? ｵﾚの顔に！
Yes, is that a problem?
えぇ｡ 何か 問題が？
Remove it right now! Doing such an obscene thing to a person's face is unacceptable!
(桂)すぐに取れ！ 人の顔を➡
わいせつ物扱いするなど 言語道断！
No, but we're just being cautious for your sake...
(花野)いや だから こっちも そちらに気を遣ってですね…｡
Don't do me any favors!
(桂)余計な気を回さんでいい｡ むしろ ｵﾚの顔が➡
Besides, it's more of a problem if people think my face goes against what is considered good taste.
公序良俗に反するﾚﾍﾞﾙだと 思われることのほうが問題だ｡
すぐに取れ！ ｵﾚを 誰だと思っている！
Remove it immediately! Who do you think I am?!
Oh but...
はぁ… でも…｡
I am a master of disguise. I am under disguise right now.
ｵﾚは 変装の名人だ｡ 今も こうして 変装している｡
逃げの小太郎 と 異名をとる ｵﾚが➡
I am nicknamed "Getaway Kotaro." As if I would reveal my true self so easily.
たやすく正体を さらすわけがあるまい｡
Oh, but you've already revealed your real first and last name.
(花野)いや もはや 名字どころか 下の名前まで口にしてますけど…｡
A woman should not speak of "revealing" herself.
(桂)女が 下だの口だの はしたないことを➡
(花野)いや 言うもんじゃない｡ 全然わかんないんですけど…｡
Well, I don't quite understand...
But never mind.
えっと とりあえず いいです｡ すみません… じゃ ﾓｻﾞｲｸ取ります｡
I'm sorry. Anyway, we'll remove the distortion on your face.
Umm... let me return to my questions. K-san, I mean Katsura-san...
(花野)えっと… じゃ さっそく 質問に移らせていただきます｡
Ｋさん… じゃない 桂さん｡
Why did you agree to this close-up interview today?
今回は なぜ 一日密着取材に 応じてくれたんでしょう？
Well...
(桂)うむ｡ 一つは 我々 攘夷志士が➡
First of all, I want people to understand what the Anti-Foreigner Faction stands for.
何たるかを よく 知ってもらいたかった｡
犯罪者 爆弾魔 ｹﾞﾘﾗ過激派 危ない人などと 我々をさげすみ➡
Many people are afraid of us because we have been labeled as
criminals, terrorists, and guerillas...as dangerous men.
恐れている輩も多い｡
Most people in society do believe that.
(花野)世間の大多数は そうかもしれません｡
However, that is wrong.
(桂)しかし それは間違いだ｡
It's true that there are robbers and bandits.
たしかに 夜盗や匪賊のような 輩がいるのも事実｡
Enjoy.
(幾松)どうぞ｡ あ… すみません｡
Thank you.
だが それは一部の話であって➡
However, that's just a small segment.
その多くは この国を憂い 何とか 変えようとしている➡
Most of us love this nation and want to change it.
We want people to understand that we are loyal patriots.
尽忠報国の士であることを 理解してもらいたい｡
...I see.
はぁ…｡
Secondly...
二つめは… ﾌｰｯ ﾌｰｯ｡
(麺をすする音)
Secondly... Huh?
(桂)二つめは… あの…｡ (麺をすする音)
あれ？ …ちょっと もう これ 食べずらい！
It's hard to eat with this on!
(桂)ﾋｹﾞが ｼﾞｬﾏ！ 桂さん！
The moustache gets in the way!
K-Katsura-san!
(花野)あの！ 顔とか もう 丸見え…！
Your...face is in plain view! ...
[Note: Literally, she says "marumie" or "open to view." But Katsura puts a sexual spin on it.]
女が丸見えとか はしたないことを 言うものではない！
A woman shouldn't speak about anything being in plain view!
I didn't mean it like that!
(花野)じゃなくて！ 幾松殿｡
Ikumatsu-dono, what is the meaning of ramen noodles during an interview? Are you...
ｲﾝﾀﾋﾞｭｰの席に ﾗｰﾒﾝとは いかがなものか｡ なんか…｡
(幾松)ｳﾁは ﾗｰﾒﾝ屋だよ｡ 茶飲みたいなら茶屋にでも行きな｡
We're a ramen shop. If you want tea, go to a teashop.
Geez, bringing a whole brigade in here...!
ったく 勝手に ぞろぞろ ぞろぞろ 連れてきて…｡
怒られちゃった～｡ (花野)いや 怒られちゃった～ じゃなくて➡
She scolded me.
No, never mind that. But your face is in plain view.
だから 顔が丸出し…｡ 丸出しとか➡
Don't use that phrase!
はしたないことを 言うものではない！
Look, never mind that already.
それは もういいですから…｡
(桂)うむ｡ で どこまで話したか？
Hmm... Where were we?
はい あの… 我々の取材に 応じてくれた理由を➡
Yes... you were answering my question about why you agreed to our interview.
今 二つめの途中で…｡ (桂)あ～ はいはい｡
You were on the second reason.
Oh, yes, yes.
(麺をすする音)
(桂)二つめね｡ 二つめは…｡ (麺をすする音)
The second reason. Well, the second reason is...
Huh?
(桂)あの… あれ？ (ｽｰﾌﾟを飲む音)
(桂)二つめ ないな｡ 一つでいいわ｡
There's no second reason. Just one will do.
This aroma is richer than before... Delicious...
しかし 前より 香りが 深くなったというか… うまい｡
(花野)あぁ そうですか…｡
Oh, I see...
Well then, you wanted to broadcast the mission of the Anti-Foreigner Faction to everyone watching.
それでは 桂さんは ﾃﾚﾋﾞを通じて 攘夷志士の活動を知ってもらい➡
And you want each viewer to ponder about what can be done for this country.
国のために 何ができるのか 視聴者である 国民一人ひとりに➡
考えてほしかった… そう 考えていいですか？
Am I correct?
Oh yes, that's it.
(桂)あぁ それそれ｡ (麺をすする音)
That's just what I wanted to say.
それ 言いたかった｡
これ 何のﾀﾞｼかな？ ｱｺﾞか？ さば節か？
What kind of stock did she use?
Flying fish? Dried mackerel?
ちょっと！ 私の取ったうえに 話の腰 折らないでください！
Excuse me! Please don't "shoot from the hip" like that that.
[Note: She literally says, "koshi o oru" which means bend your hips, but Katsura takes it sexually.]
Don't use uncouth phrases like "massage the hip"!
(桂)腰を揉むとか揉まないとか➡
はしたないことを 言うもんじゃない！
He totally misunderstood.
それ 完璧 誤解｡
Rather, that's an old lecher's gag line.
っていうか もはや ｵﾔｼﾞｷﾞｬｸﾞの領域なんですけど…｡
Right. Even when you are in the midst of a secret mission,
そうだ｡ ひっそりと 潜伏活動をしている最中でも➡
そういった 隠し味的な 心を忘れてはいけない｡
you must not forget hidden meanings and flavors.
え～ とりあえず 次の質問 いいですか？
Yes. So may I go on to the next question?
１日の だいたいのｽｹｼﾞｭｰﾙとか…｡
Like your daily schedule.
Elizabeth!
(桂)ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽ！ どうした 何があった!?
What's wrong? What happened?!
What is happening?! A strange creature has crashed into our interview site!
(花野)これは どうしたことでしょう？
突如 謎の生物が 取材現場に 飛び込んでまいりました！
(桂)謎の生物じゃない ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽだ！ (沖田)桂！
That's no strange creature! That's Elizabeth!
Katsura!
(沖田)今日こそ 年貢の納め時だぜぃ！
Your number is up today!
し… 真選組です！ なんということでしょう！
I-It's the Shinsengumi! What is going on?!
取材現場が 彼らに 嗅ぎつけられていたようです！
They knew where the interview was taking place!
死ねっ 桂…！
Die! Katsura!!
というように 慌ただしい一日が始まる｡ はぁ｡
And in this manner, a hectic day begins.
ちょうど頃合いだし そろそろ出るか｡
It's about time I left...
[Revival]
[Note: She is dressed as Eligo 13, a spoof of Golgo 13]
えっ!? これも 予定に入ってるんですか!?
Huh? Is this part of the schedule?
もちろんだ！ あの ｷｬﾒﾗﾏﾝの方は あとから…｡
Of course! Can the cameraman follow?
つっかえると あれなんで…｡ (沖田)桂…！
I don't want to block his way.
Katsura!
Hey! What's the big idea crashing my place like this?!
(幾松)ちょっと！ なに 人んち ｽﾞｶｽﾞｶ入り込んでんの！
(みんな)あ… すみません｡
Oh, sorry.
桂さん… たいへん慣れた ご様子ですが➡
Katsura-san, you seem to be accustomed to this crazy situation.
こんなことは 日常茶飯事なんですか？
Does this happen a lot?
(桂)まぁ そうだな｡
Well, yes. Those guys always show up anytime, anyplace.
(桂)ﾔﾂらは 四六時中 所構わずやってくる｡
特に 飯時と 寝入っている時が多い｡
Especially during mealtimes and when I'm asleep.
(花野)人間が 最も 油断してしまう ｼﾁｭｴｰｼｮﾝですね｡
When most people tend to be off their guard.
(桂)そのとおりだ｡ 無防備な ところを狙っているようだが➡
Exactly.
They think I'm defenseless, but in three years, they have never been successful.
残念ながら ｵﾚに隙はない｡ 飯時に襲われてもいいよう➡
They can attack at mealtimes if they like...
常に んまい棒を携帯している｡ ｺｰﾝﾎﾟﾀｰｼﾞｭ味だ｡
Because I have Tasty Stick snacks on me at all times.
This one's corn potage.
私も好きです ｺｰﾝﾎﾟﾀｰｼﾞｭ味｡
I love them, too. The corn potage-flavored ones.
うむ… この ﾉﾄﾞにひっかかる ﾉﾂﾉﾂした感じが たまらん｡
I love the rich flavor as it goes down my throat.
ただ 惜しむらくは 始終 携帯しているために➡
But the only disappointment
is that it often disintegrates into powder because I hold on to it for so long.
粉々になってしまうことが 多いということか｡
なるほど… なにかと 危険な お仕事ですからね｡
I see... After all, your work is very dangerous.
(桂)それは 承知の上だ｡
I'm fully aware of that. Every man from the moment he is born,
男子たるもの この世に生まれ出づる時より➡
常に 死を覚悟して 生きねばならぬのでな｡
must live life prepared to die.
(桂)万事に備えあれば 常に冷静でいられる｡
[If you are always prepared, you can remain calm. No matter what happens, there is no fear.]
If you are always prepared, you can remain calm.
(桂)何が起きようと 臆することはなくなるのだ｡
No matter what happens, there is no fear.
To be honest, I've never known fear ever since I was born.
はっきり言って ｵﾚは生まれてから 一度も驚いたことがない｡
さ ここから脱出するぞ…｡
Now then, I'm going to escape from here.
(隊士)桂…！ (桂)うわ～っ！
Katsura!!
ﾊｧ… ﾊｧ…！
桂さん 今 うわ～って 言いましたよね？
Katsura-san, didn't you just yelp?
かけ声だ…｡ うおりゃ～の間違いだ｡
That was a battle cry! You mistook it for "Uryahh!"
(花野)いや 明らかに 今 ﾋﾞﾋﾞってまし…｡
No, you were scared just now.
(花野)なんと あちらからも！
What? From over there, too?!
Tasty Stick! Corn Potage!
んまい棒！ 昆捕駄呪！
[Corn Potage]
(花野)なんとか 逃げられましたね！
We managed to escape.
(桂)まぁ これが 朝の ｳｫｰﾐﾝｸﾞｱｯﾌﾟといったところか｡
Well, this is my morning warm-up.
(花野)なかなか壮絶な朝ですね｡ まさに 攘夷志士といった感じで｡
It's a morning filled with heroism. Truly like an Anti-Foreigner patriot.
あの… 桂さん 屋根からは 下りられないんですか？
Umm... Katsura-san, aren't you getting off the roof?
下りん｡ ｵﾚくらいの ﾋﾞｯｸﾞﾈｰﾑになると➡
No, I'm not.
When you're a big name like me, you get recognized immediately on the streets.
普通に往来を歩いているだけで すぐに感づかれてしまうのでな｡
桂さん 変装の名人って 言ってましたよね？
Katsura-san, you said you were a master of disguise.
それ まったく 通用してないってことじゃ…｡
Does that mean it hasn't been working?
見ろ…｡ 桂さん 無視ですか？
Look.
Katsura-san, are you ignoring me?
(桂)ｵﾚたち以外にも そこかしこに 屋根の上を歩く者がいるだろう｡
There are others besides us who walk on rooftops.
あれは だいたい 攘夷志士だ｡
They too are Anti-Foreigner patriots.
What? Are you serious, Katsura-san?
(花野)えっ 桂さん ﾏｼﾞですか!?
(桂)うむ… お～い ｸﾞｯﾓｰﾆﾝｸﾞ！
Yes.
Hey! Good morning.
(花野)桂さん 無視ですけど｡
Katsura-san, they're ignoring you. They're obviously just carpenters.
明らかに ただの 大工さんですけど！
(桂)ﾊｯﾊｯﾊ！ 五作のﾔﾂめ さては また女房と ｹﾝｶしたな？
That's Gosaku. He must've had a fight with his wife again.
Look, the first half is about to end!
っていうか もう 前半 終わるんですけど！
まだ全然 攘夷志士っぽいこと してないんですけど！
And you haven't done anything that an Anti-Foreigner patriot would do!
真の政治活動… 攘夷運動というものは➡
Real political activism... The Anti-Foreigner movement...
地味なことの積み重ねなのだ｡
is a series of subtle, unperceivable acts.
(花野)うわっ！ もっともらしいことを言って➡
Wow! He seems to be making some sensible statements
どさくさまぎれに まとめようとしています！
and trying to connect them to these confusing events!
すていちゅーん！ ﾁｬﾝﾈﾙは そのまま…｡
Stay tuned! Don't change that channel.
[Don't change that channel!!]
[THE EDO] [The Dawning of Japan Special The Unstoppable - One day undercover]
(桂)遅くなったな すまん｡
Sorry, I'm late.
Katsura-san! Elizabeth-san! Good morning!
(浪士たち)桂さん ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽさん おはようございます！
今日は ｷｬﾒﾗが来てるんだけれども 気にしなくていいから｡
We have cameras here today, but don't worry about them.
みんなには ﾓｻﾞｲｸかけるから｡ (浪士たち)は～い！
We'll distort all your faces.
Right!
(桂)ここが 本邦初公開 攘夷浪士の会議所だ｡
This has never been made public before.
It's the secret meeting place of the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
仲間以外の人間を 入れるのは 初めてだ｡
This is the first time people other than our comrades have been inside.
(浪士)あれは 戦術上 仕方のないことだったのだ！
That battle strategy couldn't be helped!
だからといって認めるというのか 自虐史観か ｷｻﾏ！
And that's why you'll accept it?! What a masochistic viewpoint!
(花野)桂さん ここでは 何をするんですか？
What do you do here, Katsura-san?
攘夷志士同士の情報交換が ﾒｲﾝだ｡
Anti-Foreigner Faction members mainly exchange information.
それぞれの活動の成果を 報告しあっている｡
They're reporting on the results of their actions.
ちなみに このときの肴は んまい棒 ｻﾗﾐ味だ｡
And the refreshment during these times...
is salami-flavored Tasty Stick .
ｻﾗﾐ味ですか… 私も好きです｡
Salami flavor? I like that too.
In other words, what we do most of the time as Anti-Foreigner Faction members
(桂)つまり 我々 攘夷浪士の 活動を端的に言えば➡
こういった情報を交換し合う ことが ほとんどと言っていい｡
is exchange information.
方々を駆けまわり 集めた さまざまな情報➡
All kinds of data that we've gathered from our travels here and there.
まぁ 主に 宇宙情勢 幕府の機密などだが➡
Mostly the state of the universe and classified news of the Bakufu government.
これらを交換し合い 徐々に その場を高みにもっていく｡
We exchange them and slowly spread them.
つまり 身分の高い者と 意見を交換し 説得する｡
Namely, we exchange ideas and viewpoints with those in higher positions and try to persuade them.
And then, we force change from within the nation.
そして やがては 国を内側から変えていく｡
(浪士)誰が 自虐しとるというのだ！
Masochistic?!
(浪士)あれは おつう殿の 営業戦術だ！
That's just Otsu-dono's sales strategy!
No! Otsu-dono has clearly stated that she is seeing Goemon.
(浪士)いや はっきり おつう殿は ｺﾞｴﾓﾝと➡
つきあっていると明言した｡ 芸能人の場合 つきあうｲｺｰﾙ ﾁｮﾒ｡
In entertainment jargon, seeing equals you-know-what.
(浪士)ｷｻﾏ それでも おつう親衛隊 隊員か!? 隊長に言うぞ！
Why you...! And you call yourself a member of the Otsu Fan Club?!
I'll tell the president about you!
ｵﾚは たま殿に 鞍替えしたんだよ～んだ！
Well, I've switched to Tama-dono! I'm a rebel without a cause!
造反有理！ 成敗してくれる！
I'll punish you for that! Stay right there!
そこに直れ！ (浪士)直らん！ ｷｻﾏこそ２人が➡
No way! You're the one who should admit the two are seeing each other!
つきあっていることを認めろ！ なに!?
What?! Otsu-dono is being fooled! That's why I refuse to admit it!
あれは おつう殿が 騙されたにすぎん！
だから つきあったとは 言えんのだ！
えっ！ (浪士)現実を見ろ！ 騙されるってのは➡
Get real! It makes no difference if she's being fooled with money or violence!
金も体もｺﾐｺﾐだ！ (浪士)黙れ 黙れ 黙れ！
Silence! Silence! Silence!
You're no better than a natto-flavored Tasty Stick!
[Note: Natto = fermented soy beans]
お前なんか しょせん んまい棒 納豆味ﾚﾍﾞﾙの男のくせに！
ぐっ！ (浪士)納豆味の どこが悪い!?
And what's wrong with natto-flavored sticks?!
[Stop fighting.]
あれは 通にｳｹる 隠れ人気 ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝだ！
It's untouched, but always number one in popularity!
お前こそ ﾔｻｲｻﾗﾀﾞ味のくせに！
And besides, what about you with your salad-flavored sticks?!
Katsura-san, are they really discussing the state of the universe?
桂さん あれは 宇宙情勢なんでしょうか？
芸能ｽｷｬﾝﾀﾞﾙで聞いた名前が…｡
I heard names that usually appear in entertainment gossip columns.
うむ｡ 情報交換は しばしば 符牒というか➡
Well, the exchange of information is usually done in secret code.
暗号を介して行われるのだ｡
そして 国に対する情熱ゆえに ときには 対立が起こる｡
And depending on the passion one feels, there may be a confrontation.
なるほど｡ (桂)しかし➡
I see.
Still...
Cut it out already, you punks!
いいかげんにしろ ｷｻﾏら！
か… 桂さん…｡ (２人)すみません｡
K-Katsura-san... We're sorry.
さすが 狂乱の貴公子と 異名をとる桂さんです！
That's why he's Katsura-san, The Unstoppable!
Only a few words uttered and the ronin...
ひと声で 血の気の多い浪士たちを…｡
ｵﾚは 結構 ｺﾞｴﾓﾝ好きだぞ！
I like Goemon quite a bit!
ああいう芸能界の薄汚さを 具現化したような汚れｷｬﾗ➡
He's the embodiment of the unsightliness of the entertainment world and he's refreshing!
爽快ですらある！ えっ？
Huh?
Katsura!!
桂！
[It's the Shinsengumi!!]
んまい棒 鎖羅魅！
Tasty Stick, salami!
えいっ！ (隊士)うわっ!?
Katsura-san, not again!
桂さん またですか～!?
And that's how the meetings usually end.
(桂)という感じで 会議は 毎回終わる｡
(花野)これも予定どおり!?
Just the way it was scheduled, huh?
Katsura-san, just how many times a day are you attacked?
桂さん いったい 一日 何回 襲撃されてるんですか!?
なぜか 毎回 ｵﾚが会議所に到着した途端➡
Every time I get to the meeting hall, they attack.
ﾔﾂらが現れる｡
As a result, I can't exchange data properly! They're such a pain!
おかげで こっちは ﾛｸに情報交換もできん｡
まったく迷惑な連中だ！
You're the worst pain! You're just being followed!
ｱﾝﾀが いちばん迷惑だわ！
明らかに ｱﾝﾀが つけられてますよ それ！
You brought those guys from this morning!
朝の連中を そのまま 引き連れてきてるんですよ それ！
Gosaku! Get away quickly! They're here!
(桂)五作！ すぐ逃げろ！ ﾔﾂらが来たぞ！
(花野)あれ 五作じゃないって 言ってんでしょうが！
I said, that's not Gosaku.
(沖田)桂！ (みんな)うわぁ!?
Katsura!!
(爆発音)
We got away somehow. I'm really exhausted.
(花野)なんとか 逃げられましたね…｡
私 なんだか すごく疲れました…｡
The real thing is just starting.
(桂)これからが 本番だぞ｡
Well, I don't care whether it's the real take or not.
(花野)いや… 本番も ﾘﾊも もう どうでも…｡
Next, I shall show you how we meet with an important personage and persuade him.
次は 実際に重要人物と会い 説得するところを見せよう｡
(花野)重要人物？ 誰ですか それは!?
Important personage? Who is he?!
ｵﾚたちには なくてはならん男だ｡
Someone we cannot do without.
(ﾁｬｲﾑ)
お留守でしょうか？ いや そんなはずはない｡
Is he out?
No, that can't be. He's got to be here.
必ず いる｡
(ﾁｬｲﾑ)
He's not home, after all.
やっぱり お留守なんじゃ…｡ (桂)いや 必ず いる｡
No, he's here.
(ﾁｬｲﾑ)
Katsura-san, um...
桂さん あの…｡ いや いる！
No, he's here!
(ﾁｬｲﾑ)
I said I don't have the rent!
(銀時)家賃ならねえって 言ってんだろうが～!!
Katsura-san!!
(花野)桂さん!!
ﾌﾌｯ… 銀時 今日こそは ｢うん｣と言ってもらおう｡
Gintoki, you will say "yes" today.
Damn, the door came off.
あ～あ… 戸が外れちまった｡
You are destined to fight alongside me.
(桂)ｷｻﾏは ｵﾚとともに 戦う運命にある｡
(桂)この腐った世の中を 共に変えようではないか！
Let us change this rotten world together!
This part is hard to reattach.
ここ はまりにくいんだよなっと！
(桂)た… 確かに ことは容易ではない｡
Oh... I admit this is not a simple request.
This will do.
これで よしっと！
But it's possible with you and I.
だが ｷｻﾏとｵﾚなら可能なはずだ！ 銀時 どこへ行く!?
Gintoki, where are you going?!
Katsura-san, how is it going?
桂さん どうですか？
Yes, I'm getting a favorable impression. But it'll all depend on my final push.
(桂)まぁ まずまずの好感触だ｡ だが 決定打に欠けるな｡
(神楽)おっ？ (桂)花野ｱﾅ殿｡
Announcer Hanano, can you reach into my pocket for me? It's my trump card.
ちょっと ｵﾚの懐から あれを取ってくれるか｡ 切り札だ｡
かけ引きというのは 先に手の内を見せたほうが負ける｡
In a wager, the one who shows his hand first is the loser.
最後の瞬間まで 切り札を 温存しているほうが勝つのだ｡
The one who hides his trump card until the last moment is the winner.
(桂)あぁ それそれ｡ 実はな➡
Oh, that's it.
In truth, the Tasty Stick flavors vary greatly according to size.
んまい棒は 味ごとに大きさが 微妙に異なるのだ｡
For example, the smallest is the chocolate-flavored one.
いちばん小さいのは ﾁｮｺﾚｰﾄ味だ｡
ﾌﾌﾌ… 銀時 これを見ても そんな態度がとれるかな？
Gintoki... I wonder if he'll act the same when he sees this.
(花野)桂さん 切り札の んまい棒ﾁｮｺﾊﾞｰ 強奪されました｡
Katsura-san,
the chocolate-flavored Tasty Stick that was your trump card has been nabbed.
(桂)なに!? いったい誰が！
What?!
By whom?!
Ouch!
ｲﾀｯ！ (新八)あぁ 桂さん こんにちは｡
Oh, hello, Katsura-san.
あっ こんにちは｡
Oh, hello.
Oh no... There's no need for tea.
(桂)えっ？ いやいやいや いいって お茶は…｡
No. Huh? Really? Thanks. Please don't bother.
いやいやいや… えっ？ あぁ そうですか？
すみません どうぞ お構いなく…｡
What exactly are you doing here?!
(花野)って 何しに来たの!? ｱﾝﾀ!!
Katsura!!
(沖田)桂！ おとなしくしろ!!
Surrender nice and easy.
(花野)んごを!? また来た!!
Ngoh! They're here again!
Hey, girls are not supposed say "Ngoh."
つうか ｷﾐ！ 女子が ｢んごを｣って それは ありえないだろう｡
うるさいわ！ っていうか そんな場合ですか!?
Shut up! This isn't the time for that!
(花野)桂さん 早く 早く！
Katsura-san! Hurry, hurry!
Don't pull me out. It'll leave a hole and Gintoki will scold me.
(桂)抜いては ﾀﾞﾒだぞ！ 戸に穴が開いて銀時に怒られる！
Do you...intend to...
お前は ここで 一生 暮らすつもりか～!!
live here...forever...?!
(桂)あっ 抜けた… ぐっ！
Oh, I'm out.
(隊士たち)うわぁ～!!
[Go up!]
All right.
よし｡ へっ!?
(花野)ｲﾔ～!!
Up above! He's running away up there!
(隊士)上だ！ 上に逃げたぞ!! 捕まえろ！ 逃がすな～!!
Capture him! Don't let him get away!
花野ｱﾅ殿 このあとは ｵﾚと ゆかりのある場所を➡
Announcer Hanano, after this,
shall we go to a certain place I know to eat,
のんびり散歩しながら 飲み食いしたり➡
drink and look at some old photos...
昔の写真を紹介したり ｻﾌﾟﾗｲｽﾞｹﾞｽﾄが乱入したり➡
and welcome a surprise guest,
最後は 親しい人からの 思わぬ手紙で涙 みたいな➡
and finally, read a poignant letter from an old friend?
そういう 『家くる!?』みたいな 流れでいきたいのだが➡
How about something touching like that?
[Spoof of "Uchi Kuru?!" COME TO MY "HOME SWEET HOME" a TV show that visits a celebrity's hometown.]
どうだろう？ (花野)何の話をしてるんですか！
What are you talking about?!
Do you want a letter?
ｱﾝﾀ 手紙とか もらいたいの？
今は 強面で売ってるけど 昔は 女の子みたいで➡
You may be popular now, but long ago,
maybe you were a wimp who was always teased for looking like a girl.
からかわれて 泣いてたこともあったみたいな➡
Or a teacher from grade school said some embarrassing things about you!!
もう顔も忘れてる 小学校の担任の先生から➡
Is that what you want?!
ｱﾀﾀﾀﾀみたいなこと 言われたいの？ えっ？
(花野)ｷｬｱｰ！
Don't tell me you don't have a letter?
まさか 手紙を 用意してないのではあるまいな？
(花野)あるわけないでしょ！ んなもん！
Of course not! We're not interested in any of your friends!
(花野)ｱﾝﾀの友達なんて 毛ほども興味ないっつ～の！
(花野)ｷｬｱｰ！ (桂) そういうことだろうと思って➡
I figured as much and already have one ready.
あらかじめ 用意しておいた！ (花野)って どんだけ用意いいの！
Just how prepared are you?! Just how much is according to your plans?!
(花野)どれだけ 予定どおりなの！ (桂)頃合いを見て出せ｡
Wait for the right moment, then present it. It will be a touching scene.
感動のｼｰﾝになる｡ 頼むぞ！ 徹夜で書いたんだからな｡
I'm counting on you. It took me all night to write it!!
(花野)ｱﾝﾀが書いたんかい！
You wrote it?! That's enough to make me cry!
むしろ そっちに泣けるんですけど～!!
(隊士たち)ｸｯ！ くらえっ!!
Eat this!!
視聴率を取るためには 多少のやらせも必要だろう｡
In order to get ratings, a little bit of faking is necessary.
That's not the point!
(花野)そういう問題じゃない！ ｷﾞｬｱｰ!!
(爆発音)
Where is the boundary between "the real" and "the fake"?
果たして やらせと 非やらせの境界はどこにあるのか｡
I want everyone in mass media to ask themselves that!
全ﾏｽｺﾐ人に 今一度 問い直してもらいたい｡
What?! Are you judging the mass media?!
なに ｱﾝﾀ！ ﾏｽｺﾐ論ぶってんの！
(花野)ん!? ちょっ… 桂さん 前 見えてます？
Huh? Katsura-san, can you see that up ahead?!
(花野)前！ 前！ 前～!!
Up front!! Up ahead! Ahead!
ｷﾞｬｱｰ!!
Make sure you get this on camera!
諸君らも しっかり ｷｬﾒﾗに おさめておくことだ｡
This is how an Anti-Foreigner patriot lives!
攘夷志士の生きざまってものを｡
I've been nervous about that for a while.
(花野)さっきから ｲﾗｲﾗするんですけど！
(花野) そのｷｬﾒﾗって古いんですけど！
Careful! That camera is really old!
(花野)ｷｬｱｰ！
おい！ ｷｬﾒﾗﾏﾝ！ 今の ｵﾚの跳躍 ちゃんと 撮っただろうな？
Hey, cameraman! Did you get my jump just now?
It was better than Jackie himself!
[Note: He's referring to Jackie Chan.]
ｼﾞｬｯｷｰも超えるみたいな｡ (ｶﾒﾗﾏﾝ)ﾊﾞｯﾁﾘです！ 桂さん！
Got it all, Katsura-san!
Good.
(桂)ならば よい｡
♪♪～
(花野)ｷｬｱｰ！ ここどこ？
Where am I?!
(桂)おっ!? 気がついたか｡
Huh? You just noticed?
今は ｼﾞｬｯｷｰを超えた ｱｸｼｮﾝｼｰﾝの最中だ｡
We're in the middle of shooting an action scene that surpasses even Jackie's!
(花野)なにそれ！ 意味わかんないんですけど！
What do you mean? I don't understand!
ﾌﾟﾛﾊﾟｶﾞﾝﾀﾞというものには 説得力とともに➡
Propaganda must be convincing and have images full of power and intensity!
迫力のある映像が 必要なのだ｡
By the way, can you make me a copy of this later? I'm going to send it back home.
あっ あとで ﾀﾞﾋﾞﾝｸﾞしてくれる？ 田舎に送るんで｡
(花野)田舎あるんかい！ 送るんかい！
Back home? You're gonna send it back?!
(沖田)ﾌﾝｯ！ 桂… 年貢の納め時だぜ！
Katsura...
It's time to say your prayers.
うん!? うわっ！ ｷｬｱｰ!!
ﾌﾝｯ！ 焦るな！ 仮にも狂乱の貴公子｡
Don't panic. I'm The Unstoppable.
They'll be more afraid of me and miss.
向こうのほうが 恐れをなしてよける｡
(桂)あれ？ (花野)ｷｬｱｰ!!
花野ｱﾅ｡ 攘夷志士が どんな連中だったか➡
Announcer Hanano, make sure you tell the people of this nation
しっかり 国民に伝えてくれよ｡ (花野)桂さん!?
what kind of people we Anti-Foreigner patriots were!
Katsura-san?!
I'm counting on you.
(桂)頼んだぞ…｡ ふんっ！
(花野)あっ…｡ ﾌﾝｯ！
So long, Katsura.
(沖田)あばよ 桂｡
うぅ…｡
Katsura-san!!
(花野)桂さ～ん!!
(隊士たち)あっ！ ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！
えっ… えぇ!?
Huh? Huh?!
If you are always prepared, you can remain calm.
万事に備えあれば 常に 冷静でいられる｡
(桂)何が起きようと 臆することはなくなるのだ｡
No matter what happens, there is nothing to fear!
桂さん…｡
Katsura-san...
沖田さん ｴﾈﾙｷﾞｰ充電には まだ 時間がかかります！
Okita-san! It's going to take a while to recharge!
Damn it! Let's go!
くっ！ いくぜ！ あっ！ あれを！
Look!
Bye bee!
ﾊﾞｲﾋﾞｰ！
[Bye bee]
No way!
(隊士たち)ふっる～！ やばいよ 古いよ！
He's dangerous! He's so outdated! He's too outdated!
古すぎるよ ｱｲﾂ～!!
ﾊｧ ﾊｧ ﾊｧ…｡
Hey! You there, woman! Don't move!
(沖田)おいっ そこの女！ 動くな！
You're one of Katsura's friends.
ｷｻﾏ 桂の仲間だな｡ (花野)いえ 私は 取材で…｡
No, I'm just reporting...
Don't lie. You're coming with me for questioning!
(沖田)ｳｿをつけ！ ちょっと 来てもらうぜ｡
(沖田)事情聴取だ！ (花野)ｲﾔ！
No!
うん？ 何でぃ？ これは｡
What's this?
♪♪～
To everyone in the Shinsengumi...
(桂)｢真選組の諸君へ｡
I know it's odd to ask this of an enemy,
敵にこんなことを頼むのは おかしな話だが➡
but please don't lay a hand on the woman in front of you.
ｷﾐたちの前にいる 女性には 手を出さんでほしい｡
彼女は ただのｼﾞｬｰﾅﾘｽﾄであり➡
She is simply a journalist and I made her come do a story on me.
私が ﾑﾘﾔﾘ取材に 来てもらったにすぎない｡
She has nothing to do with the Anti-Foreigner Faction.
攘夷浪士とは 一切関係ない者だ｡
敵とはいえ 同じく 江戸の人々の 笑顔を願う者として➡
You are my enemy, but as a man who also wishes for the happiness of the people of Edo,
as a samurai who lives for truth... I want to believe in you all.
信義に生きる侍として 諸君のことを信じたい｡
To Announcer Hanano and her two-man crew,
花野ｱﾅ殿 ならびに ｽﾀｯﾌの２人｡
I admire you all for putting yourselves in harm's way in order to report the truth.
いかなる危険に見舞われようと➡
真実を報道しようとする 諸君らの姿勢には感服した｡
And while we both work in different ways,
形は違えど ｷﾐたちも 江戸の平和を守る志士に違いない｡
you too, are patriots who desire peace in Edo.
We are comrades.
私たちは 同志だ｡ お仕事 がんばってください｡
Please continue your endeavors. I will be watching every day.
ﾃﾚﾋﾞ 毎日観ます｡
Kotaro Katsura.
桂 小太郎｡
Ｐ.Ｓ.｣｡ えっ!?
P.S.!
(隊士)沖田さん！ 中で ｶﾁｶﾁいうものが…｡
Okita-san? What's this ticking sound?
なんでぃ？ これは…｡
What is this?
All Shinsengumi should die!
(桂)｢やっぱり 真選組は 死ね！｣
(爆発音)
(花野)え… 目印は 長髪｡
The thing to look for is the long hair. This messy long hair.
この うざったい長髪です｡
He always has Tasty Sticks on hand
いつも 切り札と称して んまい棒を携帯し➡
to use as trump cards and his sense of humor is totally outdated.
ｷﾞｬｸﾞｾﾝｽは 壊滅的に 前時代の遺物｡
You'll get sick just talking to him for a minute.
１分 話しただけで 嫌気がさします｡
If you see this face,
この顔に ﾋﾟﾝｯときたら すぐに 警察に お電話を｡
please call the police immediately.
くたばれ 桂～!!
Go to hell, Katsura!!
["Rhinoceros Beetles Teach Boys That Life is Precious"]
The next episode! Beetle hunting!
[The Odd Jobs Trio find out that rhinoceros beetles can be sold at high prices and set out to catch them!!]
[But when they get to the forest, the Shinsengumi is already hard at work.]
♬～
(ばく発する音)
♬～
(ｶｵﾙ)今の しょうげきは？！
(ｼﾝｺﾞ)船外で ばく発 発生！ ばく発か所を 特定！
[Salami]