(銀時)主人公でも死んじゃうんだ｡ 気をつけよってばよ…｡
Even main characters sometimes die... I'd better be careful, believe it.
[Note: On the back cover of JUMP is a Shippuden the movie Ad with the promotional line: "Naruto is dead"]
[Konpeito, the old dango shop is losing customers to a new store.]
[Sweets is the owner of the new sweets shop, Andromeda. He sells all kinds of sweets from every planet across the galaxy.]
♪♪～
相変わらず ｼｹた店だな ｵﾔｼﾞ｡
Your shop still looks pretty shabby, gramps.
[KONPEITO]
(主人)相変わらず ｼｹた ﾂﾗしてるね 旦那… ﾍﾍ！
Your face still looks pretty shabby, Mister.
今どきの甘味処は ﾊﾟﾌｪだのｹｰｷだの華やかなもんだぜ｡
Japanese sweets shops nowadays have cakes and sundaes and whatnot.
団子だけって ｱﾝﾀ… うまいけどよ｡
Your shop has only dango, you know... It's delicious, but still...
(主人)ｵﾚは団子屋だよ｡ これしか能がないんだっつうの｡
I'm a dango man. That's all I know.
(主人)ｱﾝﾀも まだ… そんなもん 腰に さしてんのかい？
[Lake Toya]
You're still carrying that thing around your waist?
今どき 侍って…｡
Samurai these days...
おしゃぶりみてえなもんだ｡
It's like a pacifier.
腰に何か さしてねえと 落ち着かねえんだよ｡
I just don't feel right without something hanging on my waist.
ｱﾅﾛｸﾞ派には きつい時代だな｡
This is a tough time for people sticking with analog.
世の中の主流は ﾃﾞｼﾞﾀﾙだよ ﾃﾞｼﾞﾀﾙ｡
The mainstream world is all digital now. Digital.
ﾃﾚﾋﾞだって あと４～５年で 地ﾃﾞｼﾞに変わって➡
And TV will go terrestrial digital broadcasting in a few years.
しかも それ今までのﾃﾚﾋﾞじゃ 見られないんだよ｡
You won't be able to watch anything on your old TV.
(主人)えっ… ﾏｼﾞ？
Eh? Really?
気をつけろ！ 今のﾃﾚﾋﾞで 地ﾃﾞｼﾞを見るには➡
Be aware! To watch shows with terrestrial digital broadcasting on your current TV...
特別なﾁｭｰﾅｰが必要だ｡
...you'll need a special turner.
知らなかった｡ ｶﾗｰ放送が 白黒ﾃﾚﾋﾞでも見られるように➡
I didn't know that.
I thought
terrestrial digital broadcasting would be the same as watching color broadcasting on a black-and-white TV.
地ﾃﾞｼﾞも そうかと…｡ そんなこんなで➡
All told, it's not easy for analog people.
ｱﾅﾛｸﾞ派は 何かと難しいんだよ｡ まったくだ｡
That's so true.
(嬌声)
ありゃ 何だ？
What's that?
(主人)最近できた 餡泥牝堕とかいう甘味処でね➡
That's the new sweets shop, called "Andromeda."
あらゆる星の甘味を 味わえるってんで➡
Supposedly you can taste sweets from every planet there,
あっという間に あの人気｡
so it's quickly become very popular.
わずかにいた ｳﾁの客も全部 吸いとられちまった… ﾍﾍ！
Took away what few customers I had.
やっぱ 看板娘とかいねえと ﾀﾞﾒなんじゃねえのか？
I think you should have a poster girl.
看板娘ならいるよ！ 看板娘じゃねえよ ありゃ！
I do have a poster girl.
That's not a poster girl.
(鼻歌)
That's a positively ugly girl.
岩盤娘の間違いだろ！
女は見た目じゃないよ 旦那｡
Don't judge women by their looks, Mister.
見ろ あのｹﾂのでかさ 丈夫な子 産むよ！
Look how wide her hips are. She'll bear healthy kids.
単性生殖でか？
By monogenetic reproduction?
[Note: Monogenetic reproduction = asexual reproduction. Meaning she's so ugly she looks asexual.]
(主人)いやいや 進化の基本は有性生殖でさ！
No, no. The basics of evolution is sexual reproduction.
遺伝子と遺伝子を 混ぜ合わせてね！
You need to mix two sets of genes.
混ぜねえよ！ 混ぜるな 危険って 書いてあるだろうがよ！
We don't mix! It says to never mix them for safety reasons.
[Note: Parody of the warning label on cleaning detergents. Mixing detergents can create a poisonous gas.]
説明書 よく読んで！ (娘)銀さ～ん！
You should read the instructions carefully!
Gin-san.
(娘)はい これ どうぞ！ 私からのｻｰﾋﾞｽ！
Here you go. They're on me.
ｵﾔｼﾞ そろそろ帰るわ ｵﾚ｡
Gramps, I need to go home.
(主人)待て… 跡とり！ いや ﾏｼﾞで… ﾎﾝﾄ｡
Wait!
My future son-in-law and heir.
Well, really now...
["Dango Over Flowers"]
[ANDROMEDA]
♪♪～
(ｳｪｲﾄﾚｽ)いらっしゃいませ！ 餡泥牝堕へ ようこそ！
Welcome to Andromeda.
(ｳｪｲﾄﾚｽ)こちら ﾒﾆｭｰになります！
[MENU] [Note: This spelling of Menu uses the Japanese characters for female + milk meaning breasts]
Here's the menu.
どうぞ！ はい ｻﾝｷｭｰ！
Thank you.
うひょ～！ じゃあ この➡
Wow!
I'll take the Sundae Special. Big magnum size, please.
ｽﾍﾟｼｬﾙﾊﾟﾌｪ ﾋﾞｯｸﾞﾏｸﾞﾅﾑ盛り お願いします！
じゃあ こっちは ﾌﾟﾘﾝｱｽﾄﾛｷﾞｬﾗｸｼｰ ｱﾗﾓｰﾄﾞと➡
I'll order Pudding Astro Galaxy à la mode and Winner Max coffee.
ｳｨﾝﾅｰﾏｯｸｽｺｰﾋｰ！
…って ついて きてんじゃねえよ ｵﾔｼﾞ！
Hey, were you following me, old man?!
偵察だよ 偵察｡ 汝の敵を知らねえとな！
It's spying. You have to know your enemy, right?
ほう 殊勝な心がけじゃないの！
Oh. That's an excellent reason.
そういう地道な企業努力を行う って気があったのかい？
I didn't know you had such sneaky business tactics.
あ… ﾊﾟﾝﾂ見えた｡
Ah, I saw her undies.
(主人)ﾍﾍ… ここは 銀さんのおごりで｡
This is your treat, Gin-san.
そりゃ 偵察じゃなくて ﾀｶﾘだろうがよ！
You're sponging off me rather than spying.
あ… ﾊﾟﾝﾂ見えた｡
Ah, I saw her undies.
You can eat dango alone, but you can't eat sweets alone.
(主人)団子は １人で食えるが ｽｲｰﾂは１人じゃ食えねえだろ？
同伴料金だと思えば安いもんだ｡ あ… ﾊﾟﾝﾂ見えた｡
So it's a reasonable price if you think of it as a complementary fee.
Ah, I saw her undies.
なにが同伴だ… こんな 気味悪い同伴なんてねえよ！
Forget complementary.
Eating sweets with you is no complement.
ｽｲｰﾂなんて いいｵﾔｼﾞが 口にするんじゃねえよ！
Sweets aren't for old men.
あと なんで ｢ﾂ｣なんだよ？ ｽｲｰﾄじゃねえんだよ 欺瞞だよ！
That's why they call it "sweets" and not "senile." That'd be false advertising.
あ… ﾊﾟﾝﾂ見えた｡
Ah, I saw her undies.
ごゆっくり どうぞ！ しかし 何だね｡
Enjoy!
By the way... Compared to the couples that go to Korean BBQs together,
焼き肉屋に来てるｱﾍﾞｯｸと こういうところに来てるｱﾍﾞｯｸと➡
どっちが ﾑﾝﾑﾝに見えるかって いうと こっちのほうだね！
couples that come to places like this seem more affectionate.
あ… ﾊﾟﾝﾂ見えた｡ そりゃ あれだろ｡
Ah, I saw her undies.
I think it's because the couples at a Korean BBQ have that "we've done it already" look,
[Note: In Japan it is said that couples who dine at a BBQ have already slept together because they are comfortable enough around each other to eat a messy meal.]
焼き肉屋のほうは やっちゃった感 ﾊﾞﾘﾊﾞﾘで➡
so we can watch them without getting excited.
ある意味 安心して見てられるけど こういうとこのほうは➡
But the couples here have that "in-the-future" look.
これから感とかが 漂ってるからじゃねえの？
あ… ﾊﾟﾝﾂ見えた｡
Ah, I saw her undies.
ﾍﾍ… つまりは こういうことだ｡
That is, "Men eat mitarashi-dango quietly." Ken-san said so.
[Note: Spoof of TV Ad catch phrase. "Men drink Sapporo Beer Quietly." Mitarashi-dango is dumplings with soy sauce paste. Ken Takakura is a Japanese actor.]
男は黙って みたらし団子｡ 健さんも言ってたしな！
言ってねえよ｡ 健さん 団子食わねえよ… ん？
No, he didn't. Ken-san doesn't eat dango.
(銀時/主人)あ… ﾊﾟﾝﾂ見えた｡
Ah, I saw her undies.
ふぅ… 年寄りにゃ ああいう動物性油脂は堪えるね｡
For an old man like me, that kind of animal fat is too much.
ああ？ 生ｸﾘｰﾑかい？
Ah? You mean whipped cream?
甘みといやぁ ｻﾙﾋﾞｱの蜜だの 芋だのとかいう世代だからね｡
Speaking of sweetness, our generation grew up on bee honey and sweet potatoes.
まぁ ｳﾁはｳﾁ よそはよそで いいんじゃねえの？
Well, I think it's all right that each family has its own rules.
ｽｲｰﾂと団子じゃ 南極と北極くらい違うわけだしな｡
Sweets and dango are as different as the north and south poles, anyway.
ﾍﾍ… それが そういう わけにもいかなくてね｡
I wish it were that simple.
あん…？
(娘)いらっしゃいませ！
Welcome!
おっ 客が来てるぞ よかったな！ いや…｡
Oh, there's a customer! Good for you.
Well...
ご注文 何になさいますか？
What would you like to order?
(酔唾)団子… しかないんでしょ どうせ｡
Dango...
That's all you have, right?
あ…？ 餡泥牝堕の酔唾➡
He's Sweets from Andromeda... The owner of the shop.
あの店の旦那だよ｡
いやいや これは 餡泥牝堕の旦那！
Oh, my...
...Hello, you must be the owner of Andromeda.
お忙しいなか こんな汚ねえ店に よくぞ いらっしゃいました ﾍﾍ！
Thank you for coming to our shabby shop during your busy day.
たまには こういう 質素な店で食べてみたくてね｡
Sometimes I like to eat at simple shops like this. How's business?
どう 景気のほうは？
おかげさまで このとおり 素寒貧でさぁ｡
As you can see, very poor. Please send me some of your customers.
ちったぁ 客よこしてくださいよ… ﾍﾍ｡
だから 言ったでしょ？
That's why I told you that you should sell this store to me and retire.
おとなしく この店を 私に 売り払って隠居しなさいって｡
売り払う…？
Sell the store?
いやいや…｡ もう 団子は時代遅れよ｡
Well...
Dango is already out of fashion.
こんな地味な店に お客がつくわけないし…｡
There's no way a simple store like this can attract customers.
この星には 粗雑で野蛮な 甘味が多すぎるわ｡
There're already too many crude and flavorless sweets on this planet.
まずは このあたり一帯を 我が 餡泥牝堕主導の➡
So, it is my dream to turn this area into a sweets shops district, led by my Andromeda.
甘味通りにするのが 私の夢なの！
Then, to get things rolling, I'll expand throughout the nation.
(酔唾)そして それを手始めに 全国展開を行う｡
The recipes will be digitized so that every shop can have the same tasty sweets.
ﾚｼﾋﾟは ﾃﾞｼﾞﾀﾙ化して どの店でも 同じ➡
すばらしい甘味が 味わえるようにする｡
私は この国に 本当の甘露を広めるのよ！
I'll spread true sweetness throughout the country.
Well, even though my dango shop looks shabby, it has been in my family for 400 years.
いや いや こんな店でも 四百年➡
細々と 受け継いできた 団子屋なんでね｡
ｱﾅﾛｸﾞにも ほどがあるが ひとつの味を守ってきたんだ｡
I know I'm a completely analog person, but we've kept the same taste.
それを あっしの代で➡
It can't come to an end so easily in my generation.
おいそれと 潰しちまうわけにも いかんのでさぁ｡
And we still have some customers who like the dango at our shop.
(主人)それに こんな店にも この味 慕って来てくれる客も➡
まだ いるんで…｡ ﾌﾝｯ！
Is that the taste of old tradition?
古き伝統の味ってわけ？ ｱﾅｸﾛのｱﾅﾛｸﾞもいいところね｡
It sounds like you're a really archaic analog person.
でも 本当に 残るべき味っていうのは➡
But as for which taste will remain, don't you think the customer should decide?
客が決めることじゃなくって？
Well, how about competing against me?
どう ひとつ 私と勝負しない？
If you're just running your dango shop by mere force of habit,
このまま 惰性で 団子屋を続けていても➡
いずれ 潰れるのは明らか｡
it's obvious you'll eventually go out of business.
But if you beat me, your shop's reputation will grow and you'll probably bring customers back.
私に勝てば 評判があがって➡
客足を取り戻せるかもしれないわ｡
(主人)いや いや…｡
Well...
I'll set up a dango competition.
["Andromeda"]
["Konpeito"]
(酔唾)団子勝負にしてあげるわ｡
We'll compete for how much we can sell in one hour.
(酔唾) １時間の売り上げを競い合うの｡
もちろん 私が勝てば この店はいただくけど｡
Of course, if I win, I'll take over this shop.
あなたのいう 四百年の味なら 負けることはないわよね？
Your great "400-year-old" recipe can't lose, right?
いやぁ…｡
Well...
Well, I'm not going to push you.
まぁ 無理強いはしないわ｡ (娘)あの… 団子…｡
Excuse me, here's your dango.
(酔唾)いらない！ そんな 田舎くさいもの！
I don't want any of that small-town stuff.
父ちゃん…｡
...Dad...
ここらが 潮どきかね？
Maybe it's about time to call it quits.
それって…｡ うん？
Does that mean...
...free, all-you-can-eat dango?
団子 ﾀﾀﾞで食べ放題ってこと？
(花火の音)
♪♪～
[TV CHAMPION DANGO KING COMPETITION] [Note: This is a spoof of the show TV CHAMPION, where they try to find the "King" of whatever the episode is about.]
Please come and see! And taste!
(司会者)寄ってらっしゃい 見てらっしゃい！
ついでに食べてってくだしゃんせ｡
This time, we have man versus man, craftsman against craftsman,
(司会者)こたび 行われる 男と男 職人と職人➡
甘味と甘味を賭けた 大勝負！
sweets against sweets competition!
It's the "TV Champion Dango King Competition." The participants are...
名づけて 『TVﾁｬﾝﾋﾟｵﾝ 団子王選手権』｡
参加選手は…➡
The old established dango shop that has kept its traditional recipe in the family for 400 years...
四百年も続く 伝統の味を守る 老舗の団子屋➡
魂平糖!!
Konpeito!
遠く 銀河の果てより➡
And coming from another galaxy to spread its unknown sweets...
未知なる甘露を 広めにやってきた➡
餡泥牝堕～!!
Andromeda!
(歓声)
Since we're short on ideas and time, let's begin the final match!
(司会者) 時間も ｱｲﾃﾞｨｱもないことだし➡
さっそく 決勝にまいりましょう｡
Everyone, please line up in front of your favorite dango.
どうぞ 皆さん お好きな団子の 前に お並びください｡
食べたいだけ 食べてください！
And eat as much as you like.
ただし 時間は たった１時間！
But there's only one hour!
より多くの団子が はけたほうが ﾁｬﾝﾋﾟｵﾝになり… うおぉ!!
The shop that clears out all its dango first will win...
What?!
おっと！ 餡泥牝堕の前には➡
There's already a long line in front of Andromeda, even before the start of the competition!
勝負開始前から 早くも行列だ！
さすが 江戸で 今 いちばん人気の甘味屋｡
That means it's the most popular sweets shop in Edo.
And how about Konpeito?
一方 魂平糖のほうは…｡
(司会者) まだ １人の客もいません｡
There're no costumers yet.
父ちゃん…｡
Dad...
You're not very nice, Sweets-sama. This looks like a fixed race.
(痴黒)酔唾様も お人が悪い｡
これじゃ 出来ﾚｰｽも 同然じゃないですか｡
I just offered him a competition and he accepted.
挑戦したのは こっちだけど➡
受けて立ったのは 向こうよ｡ 確かに｡
It's true. We don't have anything shady going on here, right?
なんら 後ろ暗いところは ないですね｡
この勝負で あの土地も手に入る｡
When this competition is over, that property will be mine.
新作の和ｽｲｰﾂを 試食した客の 口ｺﾐで➡
And our shop's reputation will be boosted by word of mouth from customers
who've come here to taste our new Japanese sweets.
店の評判も上がる｡
This is to our advantage.
いいことずくめね｡
It looks like the winner will be decided before the competition even begins!
(司会者)これは 勝負する前に➡
決着がついてしまった感が あります！
Yes, for example, it's like the chain death match between Tomoko Matsushima and the lion!
[Note: Tomoko Matsushima is an actress who was attacked by a lion in Kenya while visiting for a documentary.]
そう 例えるなら 松島 とも子と ﾗｲｵﾝの ﾁｪｰﾝﾃﾞｽﾏｯﾁ！ おっ!?
♪♪～
Ah, what's that?!
(司会者)あっ あれは なんだ!?
♪♪～
Oh! Three people... Only three people...
お～っと ３人！
...are walking towards Konpeito.
たった ３人ではありますが➡
魂平糖のほうへ 確かに 向かってきている｡
たった ３人｡ たいした 歴史の味だ｡
Only three people.
What traditional taste.
♪♪～
旦那…｡
Mister...
Is all this really free?
ﾏｼﾞで ﾀﾀﾞなんだろうな？
Yes. And this is probably the last chance to eat my dango.
あぁ おそらく これで ｳﾁの団子 食えんのも 最後だ｡
(主人) たらふく食ってくんな… ﾍﾍ｡
Please have help yourselves.
Let the TV Champion Dango King Competition, the final round,
それでは 『TVﾁｬﾝﾋﾟｵﾝ 団子王選手権』！
決勝ﾗｳﾝﾄﾞ！ １時間 団子売り上げ勝負 開始！
one-hour dango sell-out match! Begin!
それでは 『TVﾁｬﾝﾋﾟｵﾝ 団子王選手権』！
Let the TV Champion Dango King Competition, the final round
決勝ﾗｳﾝﾄﾞ！ １時間 団子売り上げ勝負 開始！
one-hour dango sell-out match! Begin!
(ﾄﾞﾗの音)
The Andromeda booth has been flooded with customers!
(司会者)餡泥牝堕に 客が殺到！
Plates are being emptied, one after another!
(司会者) 次々と 皿がなくなっていく！
ﾜﾊﾊﾊ！ 人がｱﾘのようだ！
These people are like ants!
[Note: Famous phrase by Musuka from "Castle in the Sky". Host's eyes on the mask also look like Musuka's.]
And this man is the commentator and judge, Musashi-san.
と いうことで 解説者 兼 審判は この人➡
かぶき町 いちばんの食通で 知られる ﾑｻｼさんです｡
He's known as the most famous gourmet in Kabukicho.
(ﾑｻｼ)食えるときに 食っとかないとね｡
You'd better eat while you can.
よろしく お願いします｡ さて 本日は➡
Thanks for coming to our show.
By the way, today's match seems like a clash between the old and the new way.
まさに 新旧勢力のぶつかり合いと なったわけですが➡
ﾑｻｼさんは どう ご覧になりますか？
How do you see it?
You'd better eat while you can.
食えるときに 食っとかないとね｡
Hmm... I see.
あぁ なるほど…｡ あっ と！
It looks like Andromeda has already cleared 100 plates.
餡泥牝堕は 早くも 100皿ｸﾘｱのようです！
Hurry, refill more dango plates.
早く！ 団子の補充を！
一方 魂平糖は… どぅぁぁぁぁっ！
On the other hand, Konpeito...!
They're so fast!
(司会者)早いっ!! なんと たった３人で➡
Although there's only three of them, they're competing against Andromeda.
餡泥牝堕に対抗しているぅっ！
You guys, eat as much as you can so you won't need to eat for three days!
ﾃﾒｴらっ！ ３日は 何も食わなくていいくらい➡
たらふく食っとけぇ！ 旦那！
Mister...
It's the hunger!
(司会者)飢えだぁ！ 彼らは 甘味を味わいになど 来ていない！
They're not here for tasty sweets!
ただ 腹を満たしに来ただけだぁ！
They just came to fill their stomachs!
You'd better eat while you can.
食えるときに 食っとかないとね！
The emptied plates are piling up at a furious pace.
(司会者)すさまじい勢いで 空になった皿が積み上がっていく｡
Is this a symbol of something greater, perhaps the Tower of Babel in Edo?!
これは 江戸に現れた 虚飾と大食の象徴… ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの塔か!?
一方 餡泥牝堕… これは!?
How about Andromeda?
This is...!
多くの客に翻弄され 逆に皿が さばけなくなっているようだ！
It's at the mercy of its flood of customers, so they're having a hard time selling dango.
まさに 好事魔多し！
It's like that saying: "Happy events tend to be accompanied by problems."
It's out of control!
(酔唾)どんだけ～っ!! 予想以上の客足のせいよ！
There are more customers than we expected.
(司会者)これは わからなくなってきた！
Now it's getting hard to predict a winner! It's really hard to believe,
信じられないことでありますが たった３人で あの群集と➡
but only three people are running a death match against those crowds! Konpeito!
互角に張り合っております 魂平糖！
すまねえ… そんなにしてまで ｳﾁの店のこと…｡
Thanks... You're supporting my shop by doing this...
(父親)ﾀﾞﾒだ… 当分まわってこねえ｡
Well... It doesn't look like we'll get any dango soon.
(子供)父ちゃん 腹へったよぉ｡
Dad, I'm hungry.
I want dango.
団子 食いたいよぉ｡
もう あっちの団子でいいか？
Well, is it all right if we have that shop's dango?
(子供たち)え～！ ｲﾔだよ！ 餡泥牝堕がいい！
No way. I want the kind from Andromeda!
ﾜｶﾞﾏﾏ言うんじゃない！
Stop being selfish!
We should consider ourselves lucky to even have dango. Be patient.
団子 食べられるだけでも 幸せなんだ！
我慢しなさい！ (子供たち)は～い…｡
All right.
行くぞ！ (子供たち)うん！
Let's go!
Yeah.
(司会者)お～っと 大家族だ！ 大家族が 魂平糖に鞍替えだぁ！
Oh! It's a big family.
A big family has approached Konpeito! Will they spur on Konpeito?
さらなる追い風となるか!?
They're 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9, plus their father.
長男 次男 三男 長女 四男 次女 三女 五男 六男➡
９人 ﾌﾟﾗｽ父親だぁっ！
Who said you could join the...
坂田家の食卓に➡
Sakata family dining table?
入ってくんじゃねえぇぇっ!! どわ～っ！
Whoa!
ｸﾞﾎｯ…｡
Hey, what are you doing, Mister?
(主人)おいっ！ なにしてんの 旦那!?
(司会者)うわ～っと 何ということでしょう！
Oh! What's going on?!
せっかく来た客を ＫＯしてしまった！
He knocked out the first customer to come to the booth!
ここは ｳﾁの食卓だぁ！ 何人たりとも入らせねえっ！
This is my dining table. I won't let anyone near it.
ええ～っ!?
What?!
A Dinner Table Declaration!
食卓宣言!! これは ｳﾁの食卓宣言です！
It's Our Dinner Table Declaration.
勝負のことは 一切 考えていないようです！
It doesn't look like he's thinking about the competition.
You'd better eat while you can.
食えるときに 食っとかないとねぇ！
なるほど！ 深いですねぇ…｡
I see... That's a very deep thing to say.
うう… ん？
これで我慢しな｡
Take this for now.
How devilish! How self-centered! But wait.
(司会者)なんという非道！ なんという独尊！ いや 待て…｡
だぁぁぁ！ なんということだ！
Ah! What is that?!
本来４つしか 刺さっていないはずの串に➡
Originally, there were only four dango on a stick, but now they're five!
５つの団子が刺さっている！
こ… これは？
Th-This is...
１本の 団子さ…｡
It's...one stick of dango.
[Note: Spoof of the moving story, "One Bowl of Hot Soba".]
うう…｡ (子供たち)父ちゃん よかったね！
Dad. That's good.
これで明日も 生きていけるなぁ！
Now we'll still be alive tomorrow.
It's so moving! How impressive!
か… 感動だぁぁ！ 感動のつるべ打ちや！
You'd better eat while you can.
食えるときに 食っとかないとね…｡
大きくなれよ｡
Grow up well.
[Note: Phrase from a hamburger TV spot.]
旦那！ 言ってる場合じゃないの！ これは勝負なの！
Mister! This is not the time to say something like that!
This is a competition! Stop messing around...just hurry and eat more dango!
んなことやってる暇あるなら 早く 団子食べてっ!!
(神楽)銀ちゃん！ ごはんとも合うよ これ！
Gin-chan, this goes with rice, too!
What are you doing?!
何してんだ ｵﾒｴｯ！ なんで 団子おかずに ごはん食べてるの？
Why are you eating dango with rice? It'll make you full sooner!
お腹いっぱいに なっちゃうでしょうがっ！
違うね！ あくまで 主食は団子ね！
No, the main dish is clearly dango.
ごはんは おかずね！ あくまでも！
The rice is a side dish, you know.
どっちでもいいね！ 心底どっちでもいい！
I don't care. I really don't, from the bottom of my heart!
ごはん やめなさいっ!! (もめてる声)
Stop eating it with rice!
There!
I'm not satisfied if I have a meal without rice!
白ﾒｼ食べないと ごはん食べた気がしないね！
欧米食なんか ｸｿくらえじゃ！ だから これ➡
I don't give a damn about Western eating!
Whatever, I'm telling you this competition isn't for your stomach!
ﾒｼ食いに来てんじゃねえって 言ってんだろうがぁっ！
…異議あり！
Objection.
団子勝負に 別の食品を持ち込むのは➡
Isn't it against the rules to bring other foods to a dango competition?
違反ではないでしょうか！
ここで 餡泥牝堕より 魂平糖の 客に対して 異議申し立てです！
Now Andromeda has made a public protest against a customer at Konpeito.
審判のﾑｻｼさん｡ 白米をおかずに➡
Musashi-san, as the judge, what do you think about eating dango with white rice?
団子を食べるのは いかがなものでしょうか？
You'd better eat while you can.
食えるときに 食っとかないとね！
Does that mean it isn't against the rules?
それは 無違反という認識で いいのでしょうか？ うん！
Ya!
申し立ては却下されました！
Their objection was dismissed!
団子と白ﾒｼ ｾｯﾄで食べようが 砂糖水で食欲を増進させようが➡
Whether you eat dango with white rice as a set,
boost your appetite with sugar water, compress it to fit more in your stomach,
圧縮して 体積を小さくさせようが➡
ﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞ ﾀﾊﾞｽｺ… その他の調味料を摂取しようが➡
have it with mayonnaise, Tabasco or any other seasonings...it's all permitted.
違反とはなりません！
More rice.
ごはん おかわり！
Gin-chan, I'm innovating.
銀ちゃん 私 発明したよ！
If you put dango on top of rice, it's dango-don.
ごはんの上に団子のせると 団子丼になるよ！
ごはんに団子かけると 団子ﾗｲｽになるよ！
If you pour dango on top of rice, it's dango-rice.
(新八)神楽ちゃん！ 炭水化物と炭水化物を➡
Kagura-chan, I told you not to eat two carbohydrates at the same time.
一緒に摂っちゃﾀﾞﾒだって 言ったでしょうがっ！
お前は なに ﾃｲｸｱｳﾄしようとしてんの！
What are you doing? Takeout?
冷凍庫で凍らせて 食べるときに ﾁﾝすれば➡
If I put them in the freezer,
あとで お腹すいたときに これ 食べられるでしょうが！
and then warm them up in the microwave later, I can eat them whenever I'm hungry!
(主人)今 食え！ あとじゃ 意味ねえんだよ！
Eat them now! It means nothing if you eat them later.
何なの その貧乏くせえ発想！
And what a shabby idea!
異議あり！ 持ち帰りは 勝負の理念に反します！
Objection! Takeout is against the ethics of competition.
またしても 餡泥牝堕より 魂平糖に対して➡
Again, Andromeda is raising an objection.
異議申し立てです！ ﾑｻｼさん いかがでしょう？
Musashi-san, what do you think? Is takeout against the rules?
持ち帰りは 違反行為でしょうか？
食えるときに食っとかないとね！
You'd better eat while you can.
それは 違反だという 認識でいいのでしょうか？
Does that mean it's against the rules?
うん…！ 申し立ては 受理されました！
Ya.
Their objection has been sustained.
持ち帰りは違反です！ ﾀｯﾊﾟｰは禁止です！
Takeout is against the rules. Tupperware is prohibited.
ﾁｯ…！ 舌打ちしてんじゃないよ！
Tsk!
Don't "tsk" me!
(司会者)ここで 30分経過！ 残り30分！
Now we've passed 30 minutes! There are 30 minutes remaining.
両陣営 なかなか皿が読めない！
Both teams are struggling to figure out how many plates they should prepare.
誰が これほどのせめぎ合いを 予想したでしょうか!?
Who could have predicted such a close match?
先に事態を収拾したほうが有利だ｡
Whichever side brings things under control first will have the advantage.
酔唾様…！ 案ずるな 手は打ってある｡
Sweets-sama!
Don't worry. I have a backup plan.
(力士)はい どいた どいた！
Hey! Move, move.
Ah, that is...
あ～っ！ あれは… 力士！ 力士です!!
They're sumo wrestlers! Sumo wrestlers!
All of a sudden, a group of sumo wrestlers appeared
突如 現れた 力士の集団が 人ごみを押しのけ ﾃｰﾌﾞﾙを占領！
and pushed everyone else away, taking over the table.
すさまじい勢いで食べていく！
They're eating at an amazing speed.
まるで 団子が 乳ﾎﾞｰﾛに見えます｡ 怪物！ まさに 怪物です！
The dango look like malt balls. They're monsters. Real monsters!
Andromeda, 500 plates! Konpeito, 450 plates!
餡泥牝堕 500皿｡ 魂平糖 450皿｡ あっという間に50皿も差がついた｡
In very little time, the difference has been cut to 50 plates.
What do you think, Musashi-san?
いかがでしょう？ ﾑｻｼさん！ うん…！
Well... You'd better eat while you can.
食えるときに食っとかないとね｡ まったくです｡
So true.
旦那！ 心配… いらねえよ｡
Mister!
Don't worry.
ｳｴｰｯ！ ここまでは 腹ごしらえです｡
We just finished our snack..
You're full already? This is bad. Really bad.
腹こしらえちゃったの!? ﾀﾞﾒじゃん！ もう ﾀﾞﾒじゃん!!
いや｡
No...
Now, it's time to get to work.
こっからが 仕事の時間だ｡
ｶﾓｰﾝ！ 前菜の時間はおしまいだよ｡
Come on, appetizer time is over.
おっ！ 新八!!
Shinpachi!
はい!!
Yes!
Whoaaa! What's this?!
(司会者)あぁ～！ これは なんだ!?
One person is taking the dango off the skewers to make it easier to eat.
１人は 団子を串から取り 食べやすくし➡
１人は それを 絶妙のｺﾝﾄﾛｰﾙで➡
And one person is throwing them into the girl's mouth with perfect control, without breaking a single one.
間断なく 少女の口へ 放り込んでいく！
Combination! The key to something like that is having the perfect combination.
ｺﾝﾋﾞﾈｰｼｮﾝ！ 絶妙のｺﾝﾋﾞﾈｰｼｮﾝのなせる技です！
Hey! That's not eating! That's feeding!
ちょっと！ あんな食べ方… っていうか➡
食べさせ方 どうなの!?
An objection has been raised!
異議申し立て！ 食えるときに食っとかないとね｡
You'd better eat while you can.
問題なしの判断です｡
It means there's no problem.
So fast! It's unbelievably fast!
(司会者)速い！ とんでもない速さだ!!
負けじと力士も食らいつく｡ 互角！ 互角だ!!
The sumo wrestlers aren't to be outdone. It's even. It's even!
Both teams are holding their own and not budging one inch.
両陣営 一歩も引けを取らない ものすごい せめぎ合いだ！
They're engaged in a fierce battle.
But the fiercest thing is the stomach of that China girl.
しかし 恐るべきは あのﾁｬｲﾅｶﾞｰﾙの胃袋！
底がないのか？ 力士５人を相手に 互角 いや それ以上の…｡
Is it bottomless?
She's staying even against five sumo wrestlers. Her stomach may even be bigger...
あぁ～!!
She's eating rice! She's eating rice between the dango!
ごはん 食べてる！ なんと 団子の合い間にごはんを！
お前 ﾊﾞｶか!! もう ごはんはいいって言ってんだろ！
Are you crazy? I said no more rice.
欧米食なんて ｸｿくらえじゃ!!
I don't give a damn about Western food!
ぐわ～っ！ 目が… 目が～!!
My eyes! My eyes!
(２人)あっ！ 神楽!!
Kagura!
Oh no! She's got dango sauce in her eyes. It must hurt.
(司会者)お～っと 目に ﾀﾚが入った！
これは 痛い！ しばらく 立ち上がれそうにありません｡
It doesn't look like she'll be able to get up for a while!
This could be a great chance for Andromeda!
これは 餡泥牝堕 絶好のﾁｬﾝｽ！
They really made us worry. But this is a nice surprise for the competition.
焦らせてくれるわ｡ でも これは これで 勝負の ｽﾃｷなｻﾌﾟﾗｲｽﾞね｡
あとは 彼らが 圧倒的大差をつけてくれれば…｡
Now we just have to hope they widen the gap...then...
Oh! But these guys seem to be nearing their limit.
(司会者)お～っと しかし こちらも 限界が近づいている！
We'll most likely grab a win.
逃げ切りは確実ですね｡ えぇ｡
Right.
どうかな？ なんですって!?
I wonder if that'll happen.
What?
Shinpachi.
新八 さっさと 神楽 連れていけ｡ えっ!?
Take Kagura away now.
[Mind Your Sugar Levels]
Leave the rest to the Sugar King.
あとは この糖分王に任せな！
Gin-san, that doesn't sound very realistic with your stomach like that.
銀さん ﾑﾁｬだ！ その腹じゃ｡
And your doctor told you to stop eating sweets, right?
それに こないだから 医者に 甘いもの 止められてるんでしょ｡
これ以上 食べたら…｡
If you eat more...
It's not good for young people nowadays to give up so easily.
近ごろのﾔﾂは あきらめが早くて いけねえよ｡
Right, old man?
なぁ ｵﾔｼﾞよ｡
あぁ… まったくだね｡
Ah, that's true.
Oh, he just keeps going. He keeps on going!
(司会者)おぉ～っと！ まだやる！ まだやるのか!?
After eating that much dango, his stomach must be at its limit.
あれだけの団子を たいらげ もはや 胃袋は限界のはずよ｡
なのに なぜ 食べるの!? そんなに 甘いものが好きなの!?
So why is he still eating? He loves sweets that much?
悪いが こちとら… 頑固で あきらめの悪い ｱﾅﾛｸﾞ派でね｡
Sorry, but we're...
...analog people. We are stubborn and don't know when to give up.
Both teams are beyond their limit.
(司会者)もはや 両陣営 限界！
They're shoving dango down their throats by sheer force of will!
気力だけで 団子を ﾉﾄﾞに押し込んでいる！
時間は あと１分！ 皿は まったくの互角！
One minute left! The number of plates is even.
You'd better eat while you can.
食えるときに 食っとかないとね！
むぐ… ぐおぉ～！
Oh! Now both teams have stopped eating.
(司会者)あ～っと！ ここへきて 両陣営とも 動きが止まった！
What made them stop at the end?
最後の最後で 障害となっているのは 何なのか!?
どうしたのよ！ なんで 食べないの!?
What happened?! Why have you stopped eating?!
あと１つ食べれば 勝ちなのよ！
If you eat one more dango, we'll win.
(力士)うぅ… 団子見ただけで 吐きそうだ…｡ ごっちゃんです｡
I feel like throwing up just looking at dango. Gochandesu.
[Note: Gochandesu is a word Sumo wrestlers use a lot.]
なんですって!? (主人)ﾌﾌﾌ… 飽きがきたか｡
What?!
They're getting tired of it.
It's normal for a person whose eaten hundreds of the same kind of dango to get sick of it.
そりゃ 何百皿も 同じ団子 食べてりゃ 飽きもくるわな｡
Getting tired of it? Are you kidding?!
飽きたですって!? そんな ﾊﾞｶな！
今まで あらゆる甘味を味わい それを活かし➡
I've tasted all kinds of sweets and used the experience to create even more kinds of sweets.
さまざまな甘味を 作り出してきた 私の逸品を➡
And you say they're sick of my dango?!
飽きるですって!? 酔唾様 落ち着いて！
Sweets-sama, please calm down.
(酔唾)そんなはずないわ！ 私の団子に限っては 断固ないわ！
This can't be happening.
It can't be happening. Not with my dango!
あなたの貧乏くさい 田舎団子とは 違うの！
My dango is so much better than your shabby small-town dango!
だいたい あなたのほうだって 動きが止まってるじゃないの～！
And your people stopped eating, too!
世界にある 千の味を作るのが ｱﾝﾀなら➡
You've created a thousand kinds of tastes for the world.
団子しか知らねえ ｵﾚは➡
But all I know is dango.
団子で 千の世界を 作るしかねぇわな｡
So I have to create a thousand worlds with dango.
旦那… ｱﾝﾀ ｳﾁに 千回も来たか？ さすがに 飽きたかね？
Mister...
Have you come to my shop a thousand times? Have you ever gotten tired of it?
Don't say such a stupid thing. I'm not tired of it.
ﾊﾞｶ言え… 飽きちゃいねえ｡
飽きちゃいねえが 胃袋も何も みっちりで 入れるとこがねえ…｡
I'm not tired of it at all, but my stomach is so full, there's no more space left.
Then put it in your ball sack!
なら 金玉袋にでも 入れときな！
(ﾄﾞﾗの音)
Time's up!
(司会者)終了～！
(娘)銀さ～ん！
Gin-san!
いろいろやって 初めて わかることもありゃ➡
Some things you learn by trying many things,
一個のことだけ 頑固にやって➡
and some things you learn by stubbornly doing only one thing over and over.
初めて 見えるもんも あるってことさね｡
そうだろ？ 旦那｡
Right?
Mister...
Yeah... It's a tough time for analog people.
あぁ… やっぱり ｱﾅﾛｸﾞ派は きついぜ｡
Hello, everybody!
Thanks for entering the "My Amanto Idea" contest.
The winning idea is Noriko Mach.
Congratulations to Saito-san from Tokyo.
The next episode... "For The Wind Is The Life."
[Noriko Mach, a bike messenger from Planet Highspeed. She's a member of a race called Wind Spirits.]
[And the other half of the show is about Sachan. "The Ideal Girlfriend is Always Minami."]