[Kochikame 30th anniversary in JUMP. This episode is part of the JUMP special promotion.]
[Note: Kochikame is a manga/anime whose main character sports a large unibrow.]
[Mayuzom appear in Edo?! What's the RYO-II virus?!]
[Akimoto Sensei, this is a belated happy 30th anniversary.]
["The Manga Writer Becomes a Pro, After Doing a Stock of Manuscripts"]
＜ その異変は 欲望渦巻く かぶき町 場末のｽﾅｯｸ｡
The strange incident started in Kabukicho, where desire churns...
There's a snack house on the outskirts of the downtown area...
そこで 細々と働く…＞
And the person who works there...
(銀時)おい ｷｬｻﾘﾝ！ ｵﾒｴ 眉毛つながりかけてんぞ｡
Hey, Catherine...
Your eyebrows are on their way to becoming a unibrow. Take care of it.
手入れしとけよ！ (ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)えっ!? ﾏｼﾞっすか？
Huh? Seriously?
＜１人のﾎｽﾃｽから始まった＞
...It all started with one hostess.
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)ちょっと 剃ってきます｡ すみません｡
I'll shave them. Excuse me.
Don't expose us to something disgusting so early in the morning. Die, you.
(神楽)朝から 不快なもん 見せんじゃないよ｡ 死ねよ お前｡
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)お前が死ね｡ (神楽)お前が もっと死ね｡
You die.
You die more.
ありゃ 絶対 牛乳 飲んだら 口の周りに➡
She's definitely the type who gets a white film around her mouth after drinking milk.
白い膜ができるﾀｲﾌﾟだな｡ (新八)あぁ いますよね｡
Ah, I know what you mean. A person who doesn't care if she has a milk mustache.
そういう無防備な子｡ 平然と ﾋｹﾞ生やしてる子｡
いい女ってのは 毛穴からして 違うんだよ｡
An attractive woman is born with a different type of pores.
眉間に 毛 生えてくる時点で もう 問題外だな｡
If you have hair growing between your eyebrows, you can't even be considered a woman.
This is Announcer Ketsuno reporting from the site of an accident in the center of Kabukicho.
[Kabukicho - Flipped Over Truck Accident]
かめあり亀有で 生きていくしかねえよ もう｡
The only place you can live is in Kameari.
[Note: Kameari is an old downtown area of Tokyo where Ryotsu, the main character of the Kochikame anime, works at. Ryotsu has a large unibrow.]
Gin-chan, your nose hair is showing.
(神楽)銀ちゃん 鼻毛 出てるよ｡
There's nowhere for you to live in Snotnose Kingdom.
ﾏﾙﾊｰｹﾞ帝国で 生きていくしかないですね もう｡
Police are investigating whether it is a simple accident or if a crime was committed.
Uh-oh, I wonder if this accident is in our neighborhood.
(お登勢)ちょっと！ この事故 近所じゃないの？
Oh, it looks really bad.
おぉ… えらいことになってんな｡
Ah? What are you doing, Catherine?
(お登勢)ん…？ あら？ ｷｬｻﾘﾝ！ 何やってんだい？
どうした？ はりきりすぎて 眉毛 落としちまったか？
What's the matter? Did you get too excited and shave off both your eyebrows?
(みんな)ｱﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ!!
Your eyebrows! Didn't you just go to shave your eyebrows?!
眉毛が！ お前 眉毛 剃りにいったんじゃねえのかよ!!
That bridge... You've got the bridge of glory!
かけ橋が… 栄光のかけ橋が かかってますよ!! ｱﾊﾊﾊﾊ！
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)うぉ～っ!! (お登勢)うわ～っ!!
Whoa!
Isn't she overdoing it a bit?!
What are you doing?!
ちょっと 悪ﾉﾘしすぎじゃないっすか？
ほっとけ！ 日ごろのｽﾄﾚｽが たまってるんだろ｡
Leave her alone.
She probably got all stressed out from that old hag's daily harassment.
ばばあの いびりの…｡
It's better to let it all out, little by little, rather than bottle it up inside.
ためこむより 小出しに 発散させたほうが いいの｡
どこが小出しなんすか｡ お登勢さん 大丈夫ですか？
But it doesn't look like "little by little."
Otose-san, are you all right?
ば… ばあさん ｱﾝﾀ！
O-Old hag... You...
銀さん！ な… な… 何なんですか!? あれは!!
Gin-san! Wh-Wh-What was that?! Their eyebrows! Their eyebrows!
眉毛が… 眉毛が…！ 眉毛が つながって 別人のように凶暴に!!
Their eyebrows turned into unibrows and they went berserk!
I have no idea! Don't ask me!
知るか！ ｵﾚに聞くな!!
Ah! There's a taxi!
あっ！ 駕籠屋だ!!
Excuse me! Please let us in! Excuse me!
すみません！ 乗せてください!! すみません!!
We're being pursued by freaks with strange eyebrows! Please open! Plea...
変な眉毛に追われてるんです！ 開けてください｡ お願いします!!
あっ!! うわ～っ！
Oh yeah!
ﾁｯ！ いったい どうなっちまってんだ？ (警報)
Tsk. What the hell is going on?!
(ｱﾅｳﾝｽ)緊急警報発令 緊急警報発令｡
Emergency alert! Emergency alert! This is for all residents of Kabukicho.
かぶき町にお住まいの方に お伝えします｡
From this point on, leaving your home or Kabukicho is prohibited.
これより 一切の外出はもとより かぶき町から出ることを禁じます｡
Anyone out in the open, please immediately go inside the nearest building.
現在 外出中の方は すみやかに 近くの建物に ご避難ください｡
Please do not approach anyone with a unibrow.
決して 眉毛が つながっている人物には➡
近づかないでください｡ 非常に危険です｡
They're very dangerous.
Anyone whose eyebrows are about to merge: Please shave immediately. Repeat...
眉毛が つながりそうな方は すみやかに➡
毛を剃り落としてください｡ 繰り返します｡
(記者)あの眉毛の つながった人々は何なんですか？
Who are these people whose eyebrows have become unibrows?
(記者)あれは 暴動なんですか!?
Isn't that a riot?
It looks like they're increasing at a furious pace.
(記者)すさまじい勢いで 数を増やしているようですが➡
It's said to be a strange disease and once infected...
一説では あれは奇病で 感染すると…｡
(松平)今 調査中｡
It's under investigation.
We heard that Kabukicho will be placed under martial law and completely sealed off.
(記者)戒厳令をしいて かぶき町を 完全封鎖すると聞きましたが…｡
It's under investigation.
今 調査中｡
That means...you've practically given up on the residents?
(記者)それは 事実上 住民を 見捨てたと とっていいんですか？
(松平)今 調査中｡
It's under investigation.
This year marks the 30th anniversary of Kochikame.
(記者)今年で ｢こち亀｣が 30周年なんですが➡
Is the anniversary related to this case?
今回のことは関係あるんですかね｡ (松平)今 31周年中だってば｡
It's the 31st anniversary.
LaSalle...
[Note: LaSalle Ishii is the voice actor for the unibrowed character, Ryotsu, of the Kochikame anime.]
(神楽)ﾀﾞﾒｱﾙ｡ こっちも 眉毛でいっぱいね｡
No. Everyone has unibrows here, too.
ﾁｯ！ しかたねえ｡ こっちだ｡
Tsk. Oh, well... This way.
(桂)手を 後ろに組んで 眉毛を見せろ！
Put your hands behind your back and show me your eyebrows.
桂さん！ (桂)なんだ ｷｻﾏらか…｡
Katsura-san.
Oh, it's you guys...
しっかりしてください 桂さん！
Hang on, Katsura-san.
It looks like your eyebrows haven't fused together yet.
(桂)どうやら 眉毛は まだ つながっていないようだな｡
言っておくが あちらに行っても ﾑﾀﾞだぞ｡
Let me tell you that it's useless to go in that direction.
この先には 地獄しか待っておらん｡
Nothing awaits you beyond there but hell.
ｵﾚも なんとか 切り抜けてきたが このざまだ｡
I barely broke through, but ended up like this.
桂さん… 回想が おかしいんですけど｡
Katsura-san, your flashback doesn't look right.
どう見ても転んで ｹｶﾞしたようにしか➡
Any way I look at it, it appears you fell down and hurt yourself.
見えないんですけど｡ (桂)やはり ｻﾝﾀﾞﾙで➡
Throwing out the trash while wearing sandals was a mistake. Damn!
ｺﾞﾐを捨てに行ったのが 間違いだった｡ くっ！
What do you mean "Damn"?
くっ！ じゃねえんだよ ｱﾝﾀ!! ｺﾞﾐ捨てで そんな深手 負ったの!?
You got those wounds just from throwing out the trash? Isn't that from your attackers?!
ｱｲﾂらに やられたんじゃないの!?
Kitchen garbage smells really disgusting, so... Damn.
(桂)生ｺﾞﾐが かなり腐臭を 放っていたのでな…｡ くっ！
Zura, it's about time you threw out your head, too.
(神楽)ﾂﾞﾗ お前の頭も そろそろ 捨てどきｱﾙ｡
ﾂﾞﾗ ﾔﾂらは いったい？
Zura, who are they anyway?
ﾂﾞﾗじゃない 桂だ｡ ｵﾚもわからん｡
I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura. I don't know, either.
All I know is, people whose eyebrows turn into unibrows lose all self-control,
わかっていることは 眉毛が つながった者は 自我を失い➡
暴徒と化し 人を襲う｡
form mobs, and attack people.
(桂)そして 襲われた者もまた 眉がつながり 人を襲う｡
And anyone caught by them grows a unibrow and goes berserk too.
Their high infection rates have increased their numbers in a frighteningly short time.
この短期間で 数を急激に 増やしたのは その感染力ゆえ｡
It's like Western zombies...
まるで 西洋の死霊 ｿﾞﾝﾋﾞ…｡
眉毛ｿﾞﾝﾋﾞ… ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝで どうだ？
Eyebrow zombies... How about we name them Mayuzom?
黙ってろ！ ｶｽ｡ (桂)ｶｽじゃない ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝだ｡
Shut up.
Scum.
They're not scum. They're Mayuzom.
この調子じゃ かぶき町でも無事なのは➡
It looks like we're the only sane ones left in Kabukicho.
ｵﾚたちくらいしか いめえよ｡
Is there any way to survive, Kasura?
[Note: Kasura is word play for Katsura and Kasu means scum.]
なんとか 生き残るすべはねえのか？ ｶｽﾗ｡
(桂)ｶｽﾗじゃない ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝだ!!
They're not Kasura. They're Mayuzom!
(ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝたち)うがぁ～っ!! やべぇ！
Damn it! The Mayuzom found us...
ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝに気づかれ…｡ あっ！
ｺﾞﾎﾝ！
A-hem.
Why are you smiling?! You piss me off!
何 嬉しそうな顔してんだ!! 腹立つんだよ ｵﾒｴはよ！
(桂)ﾌﾊﾊﾊﾊ!! 銀時 ｵﾚは忘れんぞ！
Gintoki! I'll never forget it! You said it!
お前は言った ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝって！ ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝ 決定!!
You said "Mayuzom"! Now we can call them "Mayuzom"!
冗談じゃねえ！ ﾃﾒｴの思うとおり ことは運ばせねえ!!
No way! I won't let things go the way you want!
This is not the time to argue about that! We're surrounded!
言ってる場合じゃねえ！ 囲まれましたよ!!
(ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝたち)うがぁ～っ!!
(長谷川)おい こっちだ｡ (ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝたち)うがぁ～！
Hey, over here.
(ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝたち)うがぁ～!!
ふぅ 助かったｱﾙ｡ ありがとうございます｡
We're saved.
Thank you so much. You saved our necks.
おかげで 命拾いしました｡
(長谷川)ﾌｯ いいってことよ｡
No problem.
長谷川さん！ ﾌｯ｡
Hasegawa-san!
That's great! There're other survivors besides us!
よかった ﾎﾞｸら以外にも まだ生き残りが｡
(長谷川)このﾊﾟﾁﾝｺ屋に 住み込みで ﾊﾞｲﾄしててな｡
I live in this pachinko parlor for my part-time job.
隠れて 難を逃れたってわけさ｡
I was just able to escape any danger by hiding.
あっ！ 長谷川さん…｡
Hase...gawa-san.
手ひどく やられちまってね ﾔﾂらに｡
But I was badly wounded by them.
足手まといになる ﾃﾒｴらだけで さっさと行っちまってくれ｡
I'll be a hindrance to you guys. Hurry up and get out of here.
ｵﾚも ﾔｷが回ったもんだ｡
I guess I'm on the brink of geezerhood.
あんな連中に やられちまうなんざ｡
I was done in by those guys.
Hasegawa, you'll die.
((店長:長谷川 お前は死ぬのだ))
これ 誰だ！ これ完全に➡
Who is that?!
That has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation!
別の事件に 巻き込まれてるじゃないすか！
(長谷川)店長だ 寝坊したら叱られた｡
He's the store manager. I overslept, so I was scolded.
どんな店長？ なに このﾑﾀﾞな存在感｡
What kind of store manager is that?
What's with those guys in the background?!
(長谷川)ｸｿｯ！ ｻﾝﾀﾞﾙじゃなけりゃ もっと素早く動けたのに｡
Damn it! If I hadn't been wearing sandals, I could've run faster...
ｻﾝﾀﾞﾙは もういいわ！ つうか ｱﾝﾀら➡
Enough with the sandals!
You guys aren't even related to the Mayuzom and yet you're close to dying!
結局 全然 ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝ関係ないところで➡
勝手に 死にかけてるだけじゃねえか｡
He just said "Mayuzom."
《今 ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝって…》
A-hem.
嬉しそうにすんな！ うぜぇ!!
Don't smile! You're so annoying!
街は もう ほぼ ﾔﾂらに占拠されました｡
They've pretty much overrun most of the town.
このまま ここに隠れていても 眉が つながるだけです｡
Even if we keep hiding here, we're just waiting for our eyebrows to change.
立ち止まるより 少しでも 前に進みましょう｡
Let's move forward instead of just sitting here.
(さっちゃん)前に進むって➡
We can consider moving forward, but I wonder where "forward" is?
前って いったい どこにあるのかしら？
さっちゃんさん！ あなたも 無事だったんですか｡
Sachan-san! You survived, too?!
(さっちゃん) あれを見てみなさい｡
Look over there.
あれは…！
Ah, that is...!
A crowd of Mayuzom is heading towards us!
ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝの大群が迫って…！
(桂)まずいぞ このままでは ﾊﾟﾁﾝｺ屋から➡
That's bad!
As things are, we won't be able to take a single step out of the pachinko parlor!
一歩も出ることができん｡
But why does it look as if they're being drawn into the pachinko parlor?!
しかし なぜ 吸い込まれるように ﾊﾟﾁﾝｺ屋に？
(さっちゃん)今日は 新台入れ替えだからよ｡
Because the parlor has new machines today.
新台入れ替えだと!? ﾊﾞｶな｡
New machines?! No kidding?
そんな おっさんみたいな理由で ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝが動いているというのか｡
You're saying that's the reason why Mayuzom came here? I thought that only works for old men.
(さっちゃん)そう！ 彼らは おっさんなの｡
That's right! They are old men.
(さっちゃん)他にも 賭場 競馬場 床屋で角刈り｡
And they gather at other places, too.
極めて おっさん臭い場所に 彼らは集まる習性がある｡
Like gambling halls and horse racetracks and they get crew cuts at the barbershop.
Those are the places commonly favored by old men.
The moment their eyebrows merged together, they became old men.
彼らは 眉毛がつながったときから おっさんに なってしまったのよ｡
RYOｰⅡのせいで｡
Because of RYO-II!
RYO-II?! RYO-II! You said RYO-II?!
RYOｰⅡ!? RYOｰⅡだと？ RYOｰⅡといったか…｡
No way! RYO-II! Why?!
ﾊﾞｶな！ RYOｰⅡだと？ なぜ そんなものが…！
え？ ﾏｼﾞ RYOｰⅡ？ ﾎﾝﾄ RYOｰⅡ!? 何回 言うんだよ｡
Eh? Really RYO-II?! Are you sure it's RYO-II?!
How many times are you going to say that?!
私も 松平公の命で 戒厳令が布かれ➡
I infiltrated Kabukicho,
which has become an isolated island under martial law ordered by Lord Matsudaira.
陸の孤島と化した かぶき町に潜入したけれど➡
まさか RYOｰⅡが 絡んでいるなんて…｡
But I never thought RYO-II would be involved.
RYOｰⅡは ないと思ったけど まさか RYOｰⅡなんて…！
I thought RYO-II wasn't related to this. There's no way RYO-II was...
もういいよ しつけぇよ 引っぱりすぎだよ｡
That's enough. It's too much.
You're drawing it out too much. What's RYO-II?
何だよ RYOｰⅡって｡
RYO-II is...
(さっちゃん)RYOｰⅡとは ｱﾝﾃﾞﾗｽ戦役において➡
...a hellish biological weapon used by the Marukome tribe during the Anderance Wars.
[Note: Marukome is the name of a Japanese miso soup paste producer whose logo is a small boy with a bald head. Anderance is a wig company equivalent to a Men's hair club in Japan.]
丸米族が使用した といわれる 地獄のｳｲﾙｽ兵器｡
敵国である猩々星は 皆➡
Their enemies on Shojo Planet looked like monkeys, so taking that into consideration,
ｻﾙのような姿であることを 勘案し➡
敵味方 入り乱れての乱戦中でも 使用できるよう➡
a virus was created for use as a rough-and-tumble battle weapon.
改良されたｳｲﾙｽ｡
That means it was a virus developed to affect people with thick hair.
つまり 毛深いﾔﾂにだけ 感染するよう作られたｳｲﾙｽ｡
感染した者は 眉毛がつながり➡
The infected grow unibrows.
女 子供 例外なく すべて➡
Whether they are women or children, there's no exception... Everyone...
ﾀﾞﾒな おっさんになってしまう 地獄の兵器よ｡
...will become a completely useless old man. It's a hellish weapon.
They will become greedy moneygrubbers, always slacking off at work.
金にがめつく強欲で 仕事も怠けてばかり｡
豪快に見えて なんか ﾏﾆｱｯｸな繊細な趣味とか持ってる｡
And even if they look like dynamic men, they're actually insensitive maniacs.
なんか気持悪い｡
It's really disgusting... They'll become like that old man!
そんなおっさんに なってしまうのよ｡
これ 明らかに 誰か個人のこと 言ってますよね｡
That is... I think you're obviously referring to a specific person.
しかも 本来 毛深い人にだけ 感染するｳｲﾙｽも➡
Moreover, the virus was designed to only affect people with thick hair,
感染者と 直接 接触することで➡
but only after direct contact with an infected subject.
毛深くない者にも 感染してしまうの｡
Even those who aren't hairy can become infected.
近いうちに かぶき町だけじゃない➡
Soon, it won't be just Kabukicho... All of Edo...
江戸中が… いや 地球中が ﾀﾞﾒなおっさんで包まれるぞ｡
No, the entire Earth will be filled with useless old men. If that happens...
そうなったら…｡
地球は 終わりだ！
Earth...will end!
新八 箱持ってきて｡ は～い｡
Shinpachi, can you get a box?
Okay.
(桂)ちょっと 皆さん…？
Hey... Everybody...
地球が滅ぶかも って 言ってんだぞ｡
I just mentioned that Earth might die out!
なんだ ｷｻﾏら その感じは！
What kind of response is that?!
いや～ ﾀﾞﾒなおっさん 言われてもな｡
Well, you're talking about useless old men, but...
ねぇ… 緊張感が｡
Right... The tension is...
ﾀﾞﾒなおっさんの どこがﾀﾞﾒなんだ 言ってみろ！
What part of a useless man is bad?
Tell me and I'll correct it, one part at a time!
１つずつ直していくから！
It's not just Earth; I'll be affected, too!
地球だけじゃない 私も… あなたの愛する人も➡
All your loved ones will become old men!
みんな おっさんに なってしまうのよ｡
銀さん あなた堪えられるの？
Gin-san, can you endure that?!
おぉ 来た！ すっげぇ さすが 新台 入れただけあるわ｡
Oh, it's working!
Wow, I can see how well the new machine works.
ひどい… ひどいじゃない｡
It's terrible, terrible. At that time...
あのとき… あのとき交わした愛は 全部ｳｿだったの？
Was the love we exchanged for each other just a lie?!
((店長:あなたが好きだから 死ぬほど))
I love you...to death.
[Note: From 101th Propose, a TV series from the 90s.]
だから 誰これ！ 店長？ それ さっきの店長じゃねえ!?
Who's that man anyway?! The store manager?!
Is that the same manager I saw before?!
(さっちゃん)ｻﾝﾀﾞﾙでしょ！ どうせ ｻﾝﾀﾞﾙのことを➡
Sandals, right? I knew you were still angry about the sandals!
まだ 怒ってんでしょ！ ｻﾝﾀﾞﾙ関係ねえ！
I don't care about your sandals!
つうか ｱﾝﾀは人と会うとき ﾒｶﾞﾈかけろ って言ったでしょ｡
I told you to put on your glasses when you meet people!
あぁ もう うるせぇ！
Ah, you guys are so noisy!
そんなもんで 地球が滅ぶかよ｡
There's no way the Earth will die out because of something like that.
こんなもん 一過性の風邪みてぇなもんだろ｡
This is just like a passing cold.
明日には みんな おしゃれ眉毛に戻ってるって｡
Everyone will get their stylish eyebrows back tomorrow.
幸い ここは 特殊ｶﾞﾗｽだしよ｡
Fortunately, this place has special glass doors, so they won't be able to get in.
ｱｲﾂらも 入ってこられねえから｡
So, until someone comes to rescue us, let's hide out in here.
助けが来るまで 篭城するとしようや｡
There's food used for pachinko gifts...
ﾊﾟﾁﾝｺの景品の食料もある… し!?
ひっひっふぅ ひっひっふぅ｡
妊娠したｱﾙ｡ 食料なくなったんですけど｡
I'm pregnant.
The food's all gone.
D-Don't worry.
だ… 大丈夫だって １日くらい 何も食べなくても｡
We'll be okay if we don't eat anything for a day.
あっ ｵﾚ ﾁｮｺ持ってるよ 食べる？ みんな｡
Ah, I have chocolate. Does anybody want some?
ほ～ら 大事に食べるんだよ｡
Well, eat it, but just a little. Don't get that serious.
そんなにさ 深刻になるなって 魔王が来るわけじゃあるめえし｡
It's not like the devil is coming-
(爆発音)
♪♪～
ｳﾌ…｡
♪♪～
しま～!! 魔王 来たんですけど…｡
The devil...is here...
This is Announcer Ketsuno reporting.
[Kabukicho First Street]
(結野ｱﾅ)現場の結野です｡
I'm in front of Kabukicho, where a mysterious virus is spreading.
現在 私は 謎の奇病が蔓延する➡
かぶき町前へと来ております｡ ごらんのように➡
As you can see,
かぶき町に つながる道路は すべて➡
all the roads into Kabukicho have been blocked by martial law.
戒厳令がしかれ 完全に 封鎖されている状態です｡
いったい 現在 街の中は どうなっているのでしょうか？
What exactly might the situation be in town?
If you become infected, your eyebrows turn into a unibrow and you go berserk.
感染すると 眉がつながり 凶暴化するという謎の奇病｡
It has not been confirmed, but according to our sources,
未確認ですが 街の住人は すでに全員➡
all residents of the town have already become infected.
感染してしまったとの 情報も入っております｡
We're worried about the safety of all residents.
住民の安否が 気遣われます｡
What will happen to Edo?!
江戸は いったい どうなってしまうのでしょうか!?
(部下)今朝方 未明 かぶき町で事故を起こし➡
This is the truck that was involved in that accident in Kabukicho this morning.
横転していた ﾄﾗｯｸです｡ 荷物から ｳｲﾙｽ反応が｡
The virus was detected in the packages.
And the driver and other crewmembers are missing.
運転手ほか 乗員は 見つかっていません｡
[Happy 30th Anniversary, Kochikame.]
中から 犯行声明文のようなものも…｡
A note seeming to claim responsibility was found in the truck.
It most likely was the work of an Anti-Foreigner Faction samurai.
攘夷志士によるものとみて 間違いないかと｡
Kochikame's 30th anniversary? Are you kidding me?!
｢こち亀｣30周年？ ふざけやがって｡
もう 31周年じゃねえか ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟの連載時から ｱﾆﾒまで➡
It's the 31st anniversary.
Do you understand the time lag between a serialized manga in JUMP and the resulting anime?
どんだけ時間差あると 思ってんだ？
Look to the future and the past.
あとさき考えろってばぁ｡
(部下) っつ～ か 松平様 あの…｡
But Matsudaira-sama... Um...
Please ensure that you're properly protected.
…もう少し重装を｡ 風邪じゃないんだから➡
It's not a cold, so you can't repel the virus wearing just that.
そんなもので ｳｲﾙｽ感染 防げないんですけど｡
Idiot!! You think wearing that kind of equipment protects you from the virus?!
ﾊﾞｶ野郎！ そんなもの着て➡
ｳｲﾙｽを完全に防いだつもりに なってるのけ!?
Don't underestimate the virus!
ｳｲﾙｽなめんじゃねえぞ ｵﾗ！
I'm sorry!
すみません！ (松平) いいか！ 家に帰ったら➡
Listen up!
When you get home, don't forget to gargle and wash your hands!
必ず うがい 手洗いを忘れるなってばぁ！
(部下)ｳｲﾙｽなめんじゃねえ!!
Don't underestimate the virus!
No... No way...
そんな… ｳｿだ…｡
姉上が…｡
My sis...
姉上の眉毛が～!!
My sister's eyebrows!
Sis! How could this happen before you get married?!
姉上～ 嫁入り前になんてことを～!!
しっかりしてください！ ﾎﾞｸです ﾎﾞｸ!!
Come on! It's me! Me!
ﾑﾀﾞだ 新八君 諦めろ！
It's useless, Shinpachi-kun. Give it up!
She's completely infected by the RYO-II virus.
完全に RYOｰⅡｳｲﾙｽに感染している｡
Your sister is no longer your sister, but an old man.
ｷﾐの姉上は もはや姉上ではなく おっさんだ｡
And look at that cup-sake and cheese-kama.
[Note: Cup-sake is sake sold in a cup. Cheese-kama is a stick snack made of cheese and fish paste.]
しかも 見ろ あのｶｯﾌﾟ酒と ﾁｰｽﾞｶﾏを｡
すでに おっさんたちから➡
She has already been set up as the "big old man" by the other old men.
ﾋﾞｯｸﾞおっさんとして 祭り上げられているようだ｡
Not good... She's issuing instructions!
いかん 何か 指示を出しているぞ！
Those guys! Do they have that kind of intelligence?!
ﾔﾂらめ そんな知能を有しているのか!?
Sign? Is that a sign? Have a drink? How does that sound?
ｻｲﾝ!? あれは ｻｲﾝか？ 今日も１杯いっとく？
What kind of instructions are those?!
どんな指示だよ!? 指示まで おっさんかよ!! 姉上!!
Even her instructions sound like they're coming from an old man! Sis!
LaSalle!
ﾗｻｰﾙ！ (桂)いかん 来たぞ!!
Not good...they're coming!
(みんな)うわ～!!
Whoa!
こっちだ 早く こっちへ！
Over here! Hurry, this way!
This place is no longer safe!
(長谷川)もう ここはﾀﾞﾒだ 屋上だ｡
The roof! Let's go up to the roof and wait for rescue!
屋上まで逃げて 助けを待つぞ！
この頑丈な扉なら しばらく もつはず… え!?
This strong door should hold out for a while.
Huh?!
(長谷川/銀時)ｷﾞｬｰ!!
(長谷川)最強だ！ 最強のﾏﾕｿﾞﾝが 誕生しちまった！
The strongest! The strongest Mayuzom has been established!
Here comes the elevator! Hurry, get over here!
ｴﾚﾍﾞｰﾀｰが来たわ！ 早く こっち！
うわ～！
…助かった｡ (さっちゃん)みんな無事？
We're saved.
Is everyone all right? Is everyone here?
全員ちゃんといる？ １ ２ ３ ４ ５ ６｡
One, two, three, four, five, six...
あぁ 大丈夫だ｡ いや ちょっと待ってくださいよ｡
Yeah, we're all right.
No, wait a minute. Six people?
６人？ もう１回 数えてくださいよ｡
Can you count again?
What? It's all right.
なんだよ 大丈夫だって｡
Me...
俺に お前に 神楽 ﾂﾞﾗに➡
You...
Kagura...
Zura...
さっちゃん 長谷川さん ほら ６人だ｡
Sachan...
Hasegawa-san.
See, six people.
Hold on!
待たんかい～！ は 長谷川さんが➡
Ha-Hasegawa-san...
These are...
これ ｸﾞﾗｻﾝだろうが！ そうだよ｡
...his sunglasses!
That's right. Hasegawa-san has a pair of sunglasses.
長谷川さんは ｸﾞﾗｻﾝだよ｡ そうじゃなくて！
That's not what I meant.
長谷川さんが ｸﾞﾗｻﾝしかありません！
I said that only Hasegawa-san's sunglasses are left!
That's right. Madao only have sunglasses.
そうだよ ﾏﾀﾞｵには ｸﾞﾗｻﾝしかないね！
１階に置いてきちゃったんだ！
We must have left him on the first floor!
That's not good! We should hurry and go down and save him!
まずいよ 早く戻って 助けないと！
No way. If we go back now, we'll just become their prey.
(神楽)や～よ 今戻っても 全員 ﾔﾂらの餌食になるだけね｡
I don't want eyebrows like that.
私 あんな眉毛になるの ご免ね｡
Think about it carefully. This is...really... Hasegawa-san, right?
それに よく考えてみろ｡
これ… ぶっちゃけ 長谷川さんじゃね？
どっから どう見ても 汚いｸﾞﾗｻﾝだろうが！
In every single aspect, it's a pair of dirty sunglasses!
No, no. Don't refuse to face reality. Think about it carefully.
いやいや 現実から目を背けずに よく考えてみろ｡
Between this thing and the goateed guy left on the first floor... Really...
これと１階に取り残されてる ﾋｹﾞ… ぶっちゃけ…｡
どっちが 長谷川さんだ？
Which is the real Hasegawa-san?
ｵﾒｴが 現実を しっかりと見すえろ!!
You're the one who needs to face reality!
１階のあれ ただのｸﾞﾗｻﾝ掛け器ｱﾙよ｡
The thing on the first floor is just a sunglasses stand.
ｸﾞﾗｻﾝ掛け器って なんだよ!! ｸﾞﾗｻﾝを掛けとく➡
What's a sunglasses stand?!
It's a rod used for holding sunglasses.
棒的な あれｱﾙよ｡ そんなもん➡
That thing? You can use a hook!
そのへんのﾌｯｸで いいだろうが!!
It's the hook with a goatee.
(神楽)ﾌｯｸだよ あんなもん ﾋｹﾞの生えた｡
The real one is here.
本体は こっちだもんね｡ ね ﾏﾀﾞｵ｡ (桂)うん ﾘｰﾀﾞｰ！
Right, Madao?
Yes, Leader!
うるせぇから ｵﾒｴは黙ってろ！ ｲﾗｯとくんだよ!!
You, shut up! You piss me off!
Shinpachi-kun,
新八君 昔から人々の間では➡
since early times, questions have been raised about where the human heart is.
人の心というものが どこにあるのか➡
とりざたされてきたわ｡ 人の心は 心臓に？
Is the human heart in the chest? Or in the brain?
それとも 脳に？ 私は 違うと思う｡
I don't think either is right... It's definitely in the sunglasses-
それは きっとｸﾞﾗｻ…｡ ﾃﾒｴらに 心はないのか!!
Don't you guys have any heart?!
We were saved by Hasegawa-san!
長谷川さんの おかげで ﾎﾞｸら 助かったんですよ｡
もう いいです ｱﾝﾀらみたいな薄情者に➡
That's it! I'm not going to ask someone who has no heart like you anymore!
もう頼みません！ ﾎﾞｸだけ １階でおろしてください｡
Let me off on the first floor.
Huh? The third floor? Hey! I said let me off on the first floor.
あれ？ ３階？ ちょっと！
ﾎﾞｸは１階でおろしてって 言ったんです！
I don't know. I just pushed the button for the roof.
(さっちゃん)知らないわよ 屋上のﾎﾞﾀﾝしか 押してないし｡
Then why did it stop?
じゃあ なんで止まるんですか？ あれだろ？
You know, there's someone waiting for the elevator on the third floor.
３階で ｴﾚﾍﾞｰﾀｰ待ってるﾔﾂが いんだろ？
(みんな)え？
Eh...
Don't let it open! Close it! They'll get in.
開くな～!! 閉じろ!!
来る ﾔﾂらが来る!! (みんな)うわ～！
You bastard! What are you doing here?!
ﾃﾒｴ こんな所で 何やってんだ！ おどかすんじゃねえよ！
Don't frighten us like that! I'll kill you!
殺すぞ ｺﾗｧ！ ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽ！
Elizabeth!
お前 見ないと思ったら こんな所に…｡ 無事だったか？
I wondered why I couldn't find you, but you were here. Are you all right?!
Huh?
(桂)長谷川さん！ お前まさか 長谷川さんを助けて…｡
Hasegawa-san!
Don't tell me you saved Hasegawa-san...
でかした ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽ！ すごい！ すごいよ ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽさん！
Great job, Elizabeth!
Awesome! That's awesome, Elizabeth-san!
What's with this guy? Why is he so blank-faced all the time?!
なんだよ ｺｲﾂ… なんで ﾑﾀﾞに男前なんだよ いつも｡
しかし あの ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝの群れのなか よく ここまで来られましたね｡
But how were you able to get through that Mayuzom mob?
あ！ そうか 眉毛！ 考えてみれば ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽには 眉毛がない！
Ah! I got it! Eyebrows!
When I think about it, Elizabeth has no eyebrows!
I see! If you have no eyebrows, there's no way they can merge together.
そうか！ 毛のない者が 眉毛が つながるわけもない！
つまり ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽには ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝになる 恐れはないということか｡
That is, Elizabeth has no fear of becoming a Mayuzom.
It's so encouraging! It's like we have an invincible fleet!
これは 心強い！ 我々は 無敵艦を手に入れたようなものだ｡
さすがは ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽ！ これからは 先陣を任せるぞ！
I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth! From now on, you'll lead the van!
[Don't slow me down, Katsura-san.] [Note: "n" looks like a unibrow.]
ﾊｯﾊｯﾊ！ お前も言うようになったな｡
You've got a big mouth.
Huh? You made a mistake writing the "n."
ん？ お前 また ｢ん｣の書き方を間違ってるぞ｡
しかたのないﾔﾂだ｡ 今度また 読み書きを教えてやる｡
What a troublesome guy. I'll teach you how to read and write again sometime soon.
ﾊｯﾊｯﾊｯﾊ！
[Don't slow me down, Katsura-san.]
(桂)ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ…！
(桂)あぁ～っ!!
銀さん…｡ 言うな｡ ﾔﾂの死を ﾑﾀﾞにするな｡
Gin-san.
Don't say anything. Don't let his death be in vain.
ｵﾚたちは なんとしても 生き残るんだ｡
We'll do whatever we need to survive.
Well, that's not what I mean, Hasegawa-san...
いや そうじゃなくて 長谷川さん…｡
Elizabeth bringing him here means...
ｴﾘｻﾞﾍﾞｽが 連れてきたということは…｡
(長谷川)うぅ…｡ ｷﾞｬｰｯ！
やっぱりだ！ やっぱり やられちゃってるよ 長谷川さん！
Just as I thought! Hasegawa-san was infected!
(さっちゃん)みんな！ つながった眉を剃り落とすのよ｡
Everyone!
Shave off his unibrow. That's the only way to beat Mayuzom!
ﾏﾕｿﾞﾝを倒すには それしかないわ！
Hey, what about you?
ｵﾒｴ 眉毛ったって そんなもん！
ぐあぁ～っ！ うわ～っ！
あの… 違うの… 手元が… ごめん 長谷川さん｡
Well...Sorry, but my hand was just... I'm sorry, Hasegawa-san.
What are you doing?!
何やってるｱﾙか！ 知り合いだからって➡
You're holding back because you know him. That's why your aim was off!
尻込みしてるから 手元が狂うね！ 思い切りいかなきゃ！
You should go all out!
ほあちゃ～っ！
You're going too far! You took off too much. Where are you aiming?!
お前は 思い切りがよすぎ！ すがすがしいくらい！
どこ 狙ってんの!? あぁ～っ！ 長谷川さん！
Hasegawa-san! What should we do about that?!
どうすんの あれ！ もう 元に戻っても➡
Even if he returns to normal, he won't be able to go out in public!
外 歩けねえよ！ 何やってるのよ ｱﾝﾀたち！
What are you guys doing?!
If it takes more than one blow, Hasegawa-san will suffer! I'll do it!
一撃で仕留めないと かえって 長谷川さんを➡
苦しめることになるのよ！ 私がやるわ！
Wh-Why?! Why me?! What the hell are you doing?!
な…！ なんで～!? なんで ﾎﾞｸなんっすか!?
何してくれてんの!? ｱﾝﾀ！ ごめんなさい ﾒｶﾞﾈが…｡
I'm sorry, my glasses...
[ROOF]
うわ～っ！ (神楽)とりゃ～！ (長谷川)うぅ…｡
Will this be all right? It'll be back to normal by next week, right?
大丈夫ですよね？ これ！ 来週には直ってますよね!? これ！
I don't know; it depends on our anime staff.
わからんけど ｽﾀｯﾌの気分次第!?
ｹﾞｯ！ 前からも！
Damn! They're coming from the front, too!
死守しろ！ この扉は死守！
Defend it at all costs!
Defend this door at all costs!
あ… あれは！
That's...!
Sachan, great job! Leave the rest to me!
さっちゃん ご苦労だったな｡ あとは ｵﾚに任せろ！
Lord Matsudaira?! It's Lord Matsudaira!
松平公！ 松平公だわ！
(松平)もう 心配はいらねえ｡ 食糧は 十分 用意してきた｡
There's nothing to worry about. I brought enough food.
Do we look like we need food? Assess the situation, old man!
食糧いるか！ 状況を見ろ！ ｸｿｼﾞｼﾞｲ!!
This should last you a week.
これで １週間は もつはずだ！
Hey! Thanks to your stupidity, the food splattered!
食糧 一瞬で破裂したぞ おい！
Because you looked into the virus, we were able to prepare a vaccine to combat it.
お前が ｳｲﾙｽの正体を 調べてくれたおかげで➡
こちらも 対抗するﾜｸﾁﾝが 用意できた｡
It's the only vaccine that can counter the RYO-II virus.
RYOｰⅡｳｲﾙｽに 唯一 対抗できるﾜｸﾁﾝ…➡
Ｂ-超5963！ こいつを この からくり大砲莫迦門で➡
B-super5963!!
[Note: B-super5963 is a word play meaning "Thank you, Bucho."]
[Note: In Kochikame, Bucho (the Division Head) is always calling Ryotsu a "Bakamon" (Idiot).]
Everything will be resolved when I use this Bakamon cannon
[Note: In Kochikame, Bucho (the Division Head) is always calling Ryotsu a "Bakamon" (Idiot).] [BA KA MON]
to spread the vaccine into the sky above Kabukicho!
かぶき町の空に ぶち撒いてやりゃあ すべて解決！
ﾀﾞﾒなおっさんは 一掃され… ん？
Those useless old men will all be purged.
Huh?
(部下)松平様 どうなされました？
Matsudaira-sama, what's the matter?
Matsudaira-sama...
(部下)松平様？
(部下)松平様～っ！
Matsudaira-sama!
(松平)うがぁ～っ！
That's why I told you to put your mask on!
(部下)だから ﾏｽｸしろって 言ったのに～っ！
(扉が軋む音)
(銀時たち)うわぁ～っ！
LaSalle!
うわっ！
ぐはっ！
あぁっ！
《朦朧とする意識… 激しい おっさん臭のなか➡
As my consciousness fades away amongst the heavy odor of old men...
ﾎﾞｸは見た｡ そう 思えば ｱｲﾂは…》
I see it.
Yes. When I think about it, that guy...
They will become greedy moneygrubbers, always slacking off at work.
((さっちゃん:金に がめつく 強欲で 仕事もなまけてばかり！
And even if they look like dynamic men, they're actually insensitive maniacs.
豪快に見えて なんか ﾏﾆｱｯｸな 繊細な趣味とか持ってる➡
なんか 気持悪い… そんな おっさんになってしまうのよ！))
It's really disgusting... They'll become like that old man!
《すべての資格を兼ね備えていた｡
...meets all the requirements.
次々倒れ 変態していく仲間をよそに➡
While his friends had fallen and changed, that man was standing.
その男は 立っていた…｡
押し寄せる敵を ものともせず その男は 立っていた｡
Despite the fact that the enemy was closing in, that man was still standing.
おそらく この かぶき町で ただ一人…》
Probably the only one left standing in Kabukicho...
BAKAMON!!
ﾊﾞｰｯｶﾓｰﾝ！
♪♪～
《なぜなら… すでに ｱｲﾂは ﾀﾞﾒなおっさんだったからだ｡
Because...
He was already a useless old man.
その日 かぶき町の空に 汚い花火が咲いた｡
On that day, there was a dirty fireworks display in the sky over Kabukicho.
[Kochikame, Banzai]
Banzai to a useless old man.
ﾀﾞﾒ人間 万歳｡
A useless old man who is sometimes useful.
ﾀﾞﾒ人間も たまには 役に立つ》
ﾌｩｰ…｡
It's sad... It's so sad that tears are streaming from my eyes.
つれぇ… つらすぎて 涙 出てきやがった｡
[Preview]
Well, the next Kochikame special is, Ryo-san's...
Hey, wait! What are you doing?! This is GinTama!
Come on, it's all right, just a little bit...!
The next episode... "Don't Complain About Your Job At Home, Do It Somewhere Else."
Thank you.
[After overcoming all kinds of troubles, the second year goes by without a hitch.]
[Or so it seemed, but for the GinTama anime, a new problem must be tackled!]
Kameari Defense Corps.