[The song may have changed, but not the theme. Two butts riding tandem and the setting sun are up to spec.]
[A strange girly man suddenly appears. His name: Kyubei Yagyu. The Yagyu Arc begins, bringing critical news!]
Rock, paper, scissors. Yay!
(子供たち)じゃんけんぽん！
(子供)うわぁ!! ｵﾚが鬼かよ！
I have to be "It"?
(子供)１ ２…｡
One. Two.
(九兵衛の泣き声)
Three. Four. Five.
Stop that. Boys shouldn't cry so much. And you call yourself a samurai?
(お妙)もう 男の子が そんなにﾒｿﾒｿしないの！
(お妙)それでも お侍さん？
(九兵衛)妙ちゃんも じいちゃんと 同じこと言うんだね｡
You say the same thing grandpa says, Tae-chan.
侍 侍って お侍って そんなに強くなきゃいけないの？
Samurai...samurai... Do samurai have to be that strong?
(はしゃぎ声)
I always get teased-they call me "Shrimp! Shrimp!"
(九兵衛)ﾎﾞｸなんか ﾁﾋﾞﾁﾋﾞって いつも いじめられてるし➡
I'm smaller than you, Tae-chan, and you're a girl.
女の子の妙ちゃんより小さいし…｡
こんなﾁﾋﾞで弱虫なﾔﾂが お侍なんてなれるわけないんだ｡
A shrimp weakling like me could never become a samurai.
You'll get bigger when you grow up.
(お妙) 大人になったら大きくなれるよ｡
なれないね… だって 父上も じいちゃんも➡
No I won't. Both father and grandfather are small; my entire clan is small.
ﾎﾞｸの一族は みんな ちっちゃいんだ｡
(お妙) ちっちゃくたっていいじゃない｡
So what if you're small? Pepper grains are tiny, but they're spicy hot, right?
山椒は小粒でも ﾋﾟﾘﾘと辛いっていうでしょ？
(九兵衛)妙ちゃん…｡
Tae-chan...
(お妙)私のﾃﾞｰﾀによると 社長さんとか大物には➡
According to my data, more small people become company presidents and big shots.
結構 背が小さい人のほうが 多いのよ｡
Where did you get that data, Tae-chan?
(九兵衛)どこのﾃﾞｰﾀだよ 妙ちゃん｡
(お妙)そういう人の 股の玉になれって➡
Father tells me to be like the balls between the legs.
[Note: This line in Japanese is "tama no koshi" which literally translate to "balls between my legs" or is a reference when a poor woman marries a rich men, thus the "Cinderella" remark.]
お父上に言われてるんだ｡
Don't you mean "like Cinderella"? You're mixing things up.
玉の輿だよ 妙ちゃん｡
もうなんか いろんなものがｸﾞﾁｬｸﾞﾁｬだよ｡
それに みんなより背がちっちゃいなら➡
If you're shorter than everyone else,
九ちゃんは誰よりも 心の大きな侍になればいいんだよ｡
then you should become a samurai with a bigger heart than everyone else, Kyu-chan.
(はしゃぎ声)
All right, then, Otae-chan, if I become a strong samurai with a big heart,
(九兵衛)じゃあ 妙ちゃん｡
ﾎﾞｸが 心の大きな 強い侍になったら➡
妙ちゃん… ﾎﾞｸの ﾎﾞｸの…｡
Otae-chan...would you be...my...
(九兵衛)股の玉に…｡
the balls between my legs...
[Note: Or in this case, Kyu-chan is asking, "Will you be my wife?"]
["In Those Situations, Keep Quiet and Cook Red Rice With Beans"]
Welcome!
[Snack House Smile]
いらっしゃいませ｡
あっ あぁ！ 土方はん… 土方はんやわ!!
Oh my!
Hijikata-han. It's Hijikata-han!
今日は あのｺﾞﾘﾗじゃなくて 土方はんが来てくれはったわ｡
Hijikata-han came today instead of that gorilla!
こっちの席に来て 土方はん｡
Sit over here by me, Hijikata-han.
(黒服)土方さん｡ ご指名は？
Hijikata-san, who is your choice?
What foul wind blows you here?
(お妙) どういう風の吹き回しですか？
Just when I thought that gorilla was now behaving himself, you show up.
最近 ｺﾞﾘﾗが おとなしくなったと思ったら➡
今度は あなたですか…｡
There are so many daring men among the Shinsengumi.
真選組の皆さんは 豪気な方が多いですね｡
税金使って ｷｬﾊﾞｸﾗ遊びですか｡
Using taxpayers' money to play at hostess bars?
(土方)ｵﾚだって 来たくて 来てんじゃねえってんだよ｡
I'm not here by choice, you know.
(お妙)近藤さんは知っているの？ (土方)あぁ？
So, does Kondo-san know?
Huh?
(お妙)私たちが こういう関係にあるって｡
That you and I have this relationship?
(土方)こういう関係って どういう関係だよ｡
This relationship? Which relationship do you mean?
はぁ… まったくﾓﾃるというのも 困ったものね｡
Oh dear... It's so hard being so popular.
(お妙)上司と部下で 一人の女をとりあいなんて➡
A superior and his subordinate fighting for the same woman-it's like an afternoon soap opera.
まるで 昼ﾄﾞﾗだわ！
おい なに勝手に 話すすめてるんだよ ｵﾚはだな…｡
Hey, why're you making up stories on your own? I'm here because...
でも 私は そんなに安い女じゃないの｡
But I'm not such a cheap woman.
｢月９｣みたいな恋愛じゃないと お断りよ！
I'll refuse any love that's less than those on the 9 p.m. Monday night dramas...
[Note: Most 9pm Monday TV series are dramatic love stories.]
違うっつってんだよ ｵﾚはだな…｡
You misunderstand. I just came here to...
でも あなた どう見ても 日ﾃﾚ顔ですよね｡
But you're much more the NTV-type face.
(お妙) 土曜９時に 『ﾏﾖﾗｰ探偵』とか➡
["My Beloved Mayonnaise" by TRIO THE SHAKiiiN] [Note: Spoof of Kuitan (Gluttonous Detective). TRIO THE SHAKiiiN is based on the group created from this series. ]
You're more the Saturday 9 p.m. mayo detective or sleazy type...
ｲﾛﾓﾝ系ですよね｡ (土方)誰が ｢ﾏﾖ探｣だ！
Who're you calling a mayo detective?
Well, never mind. But what about Kondo-san?
まぁ ｵﾚはいい… だが 近藤さんは どうだ？
｢月９｣顔じゃねえか｡
He's a Monday at 9 sort of face.
(土方) ｢何回目のﾌﾟﾛﾎﾟｰｽﾞ｣顔じゃねえか！
Doesn't he look like a "How many times proposed" type?
[Note: Spoof of 101th Propose. A 90's TV series about a guy who keeps proposing to a girl and proving his love by jumping in front of a truck.]
((近藤:うわぁ！))
[Viper Trucking]
(お妙)近藤さんは ｢火ｻｽ｣に出てくる死体顔です｡
Kondo-san has the sort of face that appears on the Tuesday Suspense shows.
[Note: Tuesday Suspense theater is a 2 hour one-shot crime drama series shown on Tuesday nights.]
まさか あなた 近藤さんのために ここに？
You don't mean to say you came here for Kondo-san's sake...
(隊士たち)お妙さ～ん！
Otae-san!
Please marry the Chief...
(隊士)どうか 局長の女房に…｡
(隊士たち)ｵﾚたちの 姐さんになってくだせえ！
and become our mistress!
何ですか これは…？ 腰の低い恐喝？
What's going on here? Is this some sort of humble threat?
実はな…｡
The truth is...
今 近藤さんに縁談の話がきてる｡
Kondo-san received a marriage proposal.
(土方)あの人も三十路近い… 世間体も考えろってんで➡
He's nearly thirty.
It's an offer that came from the higher-ups out of consideration for his public image.
上のほうからきた 見合い話なんだが➡
最近のあの人は ｱﾝﾀにふられ続けて疲労し➡
But he's exhausted from your constant rejections,
性別がﾒｽなら誰でもいいという 限界まできてる｡
so he's at the point where he'll go for any female.
Oh!
((近藤:おっ あの娘 かわいくねえ？ ﾄｼ))
That girl's cute, don't you think, Toshi?
(土方)おそらく この話 のむ…｡
He'll probably accept this offer.
あら よかったじゃないですか｡
Oh, I'm glad for him.
これで 私へのｽﾄｰｷﾝｸﾞもなくなるし➡
That'll put an end to his stalking,
近藤さんも愛妻ができるし➡
and he'll have a wife he loves, and everyone will be happy.
みんな 幸せになれますね｡
Uh...
あぁ なんせ 猩猩星のﾊﾞﾌﾞﾙｽ様だ！ 逆ﾀﾏだよ｡
The prospect is Bubbles-sama of the Planet Shojo. So he's marrying up.
まぁ 夫婦は 顔が似てくるって言うけれど➡
They say husband and wife start to look alike,
すでに長年 連れ添った 夫婦のようだわ｡
but these two look like they've been married a long time. Two gorillas.
ｺﾞﾘふたつよ｡ (山崎)姐さん よく見て｡
Take a good look, Miss.
微妙に近藤さんと違うよ そっちは ﾓﾉﾎﾝだよ！
There's a slight difference from Kondo-san! That one's the real thing.
お願いだ 姐さん！
Please, Miss!
At this rate, we'll have to look up to that monster and call her "Mistress" for the rest of our lives!
ｵﾚたちは このままじゃ そのﾊﾞｹﾓﾉ➡
姐さんと呼んで 一生 敬らなきゃならねえ！
今の局長を止められるのは 姐さんだけだ！
You're the only one who can stop the Chief!
大丈夫よ 毛深い女は 情も深いといわれているの｡
It'll be fine. They say a hairy woman is very compassionate.
きっと いい奥さんになってくれるわ｡
I'm sure she'll be a good wife.
She's got too much hair! Too much compassion, hair and chiseled features!
(山崎)深すぎるんですけど！ 情も 毛も 彫りも➡
深すぎるんですけど！
As you can see, we're begging you, Miss.
このとおりだ 姐さん！ 結婚までとは言わない!!
We won't insist that you marry him! Just stop him.
止めてくれるだけでいい！ 男が これだけ頭を下げてんだ｡
This many men bowing their heads to beg you for help is a true display of our sincerity!
その重み 義に通ずる姐さんなら わかってくれ…｡
We know you'll understand because you're a woman who understands duty and integrity-
(山崎)ｲﾀﾀﾀ…｡ あら？
Oh? Where's the sincerity?
どこが重いのかしら？ この頭｡
ｽｶｽｶの脳みそしか 詰まってねえだろうが～！
This head is filled with a brain full of holes!
うっ うわぁ～！
You guys are too persistent!
(お妙)ﾃﾒｴ しつこいんだよ！ (黒服)ちょっと お妙ちゃん｡
Just a minute, Otae-chan.
If I did that, he'd get the wrong idea...
んなﾏﾈしたら また勘違いされて➡
ｽﾄｰｶｰに拍車がかかること 山の如しだろうが！
and want to stalk me even more!
(騒ぎ声)
もしもし 近藤さん｡
Hello? Kondo-san? It was no use, after all.
やっぱりﾑﾘだった… もう覚悟 決めるしかねえな｡
You have no choice but to resign yourself...
ｲﾔよ ｲﾔよも好きのうち…｡
You say her refusal shows she likes you? No, I'd say "No means no."
ｲﾔなもんは ｲﾔなんだろう｡
それからよ ｵﾚはもう➡
And another thing-don't send me on errands like this again.
こんな お使いさせられるのは ごめんだよ｡
(隊士)なんだ!? ﾃﾒｴ！ (九兵衛)ｷｻﾏら…｡
What the?!
Who're you?!
こんな多勢で 女に手を出すとは それでも 侍かね？
Ganging up on a woman? You call yourselves samurai?
What're you talking about?!
なに 言ってんの!? どう見ても➡
No matter how you look at it, we're the one's getting pounded!
ｵﾚたちが ねえさんに ﾎﾞｺられてただろうが！
それでも ﾎﾞｸらは 侍です！
Despite that, we're still samurai.
You mustn't lay a hand on her. She is precious to me.
この人に 手ぇ出してもらっちゃ 困る｡
ﾎﾞｸの 大事な人だ｡ (隊士)あ～っ!?
What? What're you talking about, shorty?!
(隊士)ﾁﾋﾞ助が なに ﾅﾏ言ってんだ!!
Hey, that's enough.
(土方)おい やめろ！
Don't make any more trouble for the club. Let's leave.
これ以上 店 騒がすな｡ 引き揚げるぞ｡
And you, kid. Come with us. You're underage.
(土方)それから ｶﾞｷんちょ｡ お前も来い｡ お前 未成年だろう？
You think it's okay to be in a place like this?
こんな店に来てもいいと 思ってんのか？
Hey, jerk. What'd you just say?
おい ｷｻﾏ｡ 今 なんて言った？
ﾎﾞｸは…｡
I am...
♪♪～
I'm no kid.
ｶﾞｷんちょなんかじゃない｡
柳生… 九兵衛だ｡
I'm Kyubei Yagyu...
Kyu...Kyu-chan.
きゅ… 九ちゃん…｡
(ししおどし)
Huh? Your sister stayed out all night?
(銀時)あ～？ 姉貴が 朝帰り？
That's right. All night... Though because of her job she always comes home late.
(新八)そうなんです…｡ 朝帰りっていうか➡
仕事柄 いつも 朝帰りなんですけど➡
But today, she came home even later than usual
今日は いつもより さらに 遅く帰ってきて➡
ﾎﾞｸと 目も合わせずに➡
and didn't even look at me before changing clothes and heading out again.
着替えて また すぐ 出ていきました｡
Shinpachi, in such situations, keep quiet and cook red rice with beans for her.
新八～ そういうときはなぁ 黙って 赤飯 炊いてやれ｡
Stop it!
やめてくんな～い!! 姉上は 結婚するまで➡
My sister wouldn't do anything like that until she's married.
そういうのは なしです！ しばき回しますよ～!!
I'll beat the guy up.
If the guy's the man she plans to marry, then you can't be sure. She'll beat you up.
将来 結婚すると決めた相手なら わかんねえだろう｡
しばき回しますよ～｡ そんなもん いねえもん!!
She has no such person! I won't allow it!
認めねえもん ﾎﾞｸ!!
Stop being so obsessed with your sister, Shinpachi-kun.
ｼｽｺﾝも 大概にしなさいよ｡ 新八君｡
You and your sister, by law, can't get married.
ｷﾐと 姉上は 法律上 結婚できないんだよ｡
She's finally ready to tear off the heavy chains you wrapped around her
姉上も ようやく お前という 重～い鎖を ひきちぎって➡
and take wing to the sweet world of adulthood.
甘美な 大人の世界に 羽ばたこうとしてんだよ｡
Oops.
そういうとき 男は もう黙って➡
When that happens,
the younger brother has no choice but to keep quiet and become a red-rice-with-beans-making machine.
赤飯製造ﾏｼｰﾝに なるしかねえだろ！
You can cry as you work as a red-rice-with-beans-making machine.
泣きながら 赤飯製造ﾏｼｰﾝだよ お前｡
Gin-chan, when I become an adult, can I eat red rice with beans, too?
(神楽)銀ちゃん！ 私も 大人になれば➡
赤飯 食べられるｱﾙか？
You can cry and eat buns with beans, you brat.
お前は 泣きながら 豆ﾊﾟﾝでも食ってろ ｸｿｶﾞｷ!!
よ～し 昼飯に すんぞ～｡
Well then, let's have lunch.
また 豆ﾊﾟﾝ…｡ もう３日間 ３食 豆ﾊﾟﾝ…｡
Bean buns again. Three straight days and three meals a day.
Dammit. Who...who the hell is he... Could it be...
ﾁｸｼｮｳ… 誰だ？ いったい 誰と…｡
まさか… 近藤さん!? まさか あの ｺﾞﾘﾗと!?
Kondo-san?! Don't tell me it's that gorilla?!
Huh?
んっ？
Hey Kondo, what're you doing?
(松平)お～い 近藤｡ なに やってんだ？
Huh? I thought I heard someone call my name.
えっ？ いや… 今 名前 呼ばれた気がしたから｡
Hey, pull yourself together. Nervous?
おい しっかりしろよ～｡ 緊張してんのか？
まぁ ﾑﾘもねえか｡ 見合いなんて 初めてだもんな～｡
I don't blame you. It's your first arranged introduction.
Fact is, my wife and I were an arranged marriage.
実はよ… ｵﾚも 母ちゃんとは 見合い結婚でね！
I sure was nervous.
そりゃあ ﾋﾞﾝﾋﾞﾝ 緊張したもんよう｡
見合い写真より ず～っと ﾍﾞｯﾋﾟﾝでよう➡
She was a lot pettier than her photo, so I was a nervous wreck.
すっかり 舞い上がっちまってな～｡
Truth is, you can't trust a marriage prospect's photo, Kondo.
(松平)実際 見合い写真なんざ～ あてには ならんぜ 近藤｡
(松平)これも ちょいと ｺﾞﾘﾗっぽく 写ってるがよ➡
She looks a bit like a gorilla in this photo, but she's actually a beauty with deep-set features.
実際は ただの 彫りの深～い 美人だっつうの｡
Like a gorilla? She is a gorilla. A gorilla, pure and simple.
(近藤)ｺﾞﾘﾗっぽいっていうか ｺﾞﾘﾗだよね!?
(近藤)純然たる ｺﾞﾘﾗだよね？ ちげえよ！
No, you're wrong. She's, you know...taking a photo makes you tense.
あれだよ… 写真撮影って 力 入っちまうもんだろうが｡
かしこまって ｺﾞﾘﾗっぽく なっちゃったんだなぁ これ…｡
She's so stiff that it makes her look like a gorilla.
What do you mean she looks like a gorilla because she's stiff?
かしこまって ｺﾞﾘﾗって なに～!?
体じゅう 毛だらけになる かしこまり方って なに～!?
No one grows fur all over their body because they're stiff!
(松平) いいかげん ﾊﾗ決めろよ 近藤｡
Make up your mind to do it, Kondo.
(松平)ぶっちゃけ この縁談は 政略結婚を狙っている｡
Frankly, this match is for political reasons.
Planet Shojo and Earth have repeatedly had diplomatic clashes.
(松平)猩猩星と地球は➡
外交で 衝突を 繰り返してばかりいる｡
(松平)この事態を 収拾するために お前が 選ばれたのよ！
You were chosen to help resolve this situation.
目には 目を！ ｺﾞﾘﾗには ｺﾞﾘﾗをだ～｡
An eye for an eye, a gorilla for a gorilla!
頼むぜ 近藤｡ お前に 地球の命運が かかってる｡
Please do it, Kondo.
The fate of the Earth rests on your shoulders.
We reserved this fancy Japanese-style restaurant just for this purpose.
わざわざ こ～んな 立派な料亭まで 用意したんだ｡
絶対に 王女を ｵﾄせ｡
Make sure you woo the Princess.
That's what you say, but Pops, she's...a gorilla.
んなこといったって とっつぁん これ… ｺﾞﾘﾗだもの｡
That's why I'm telling you not to think about the photo.
だから 写真は 気にするなって 言ってんだろうが｡
You should imagine her as being three times as beautiful as you expect.
だいたい お前が思ってるより➡
３倍 美人と思って 間違いねえ｡
Trust this old man.
おじさんを 信じろ～い｡
(松平)よし じゃあ いくぞ～｡
Okay, I'm going in.
(松平)失礼します…｡
Excuse me.
See, see. A real beauty.
She's three times as big a gorilla as I imagined!
《思ったより ３倍でかい ｺﾞﾘﾗなんだけど～!!》
どうした？ 妙ちゃん｡ いえ｡
What's the matter, Tae-chan?
Nothing. I just thought I saw a gorilla.
今 ｺﾞﾘﾗが いたような気がしたから…｡
また ｷﾐは わけの わからないことを…｡
There you go again...talking nonsense.
You're a funny person, as usual, Tae-chan.
相変わらず おもしろいﾔﾂだな 妙ちゃんは｡
あのぅ…｡
Uh...
Princess Bubbles, what are your interests?
ﾊﾞﾌﾞﾙｽ姫は 何か ご趣味とかは…？ (ﾊﾞﾌﾞﾙｽ王女)ｳﾎｯ｡
Uho.
あぁ～ あれね！ いいっすよね～ あれ！
Oh, that... How nice that is.
Like a...only... But if you overdo it, you'll hurt your shoulders... You won't?
ｼｭﾊﾞｰ！ みたいな ﾄﾞﾋﾞｼｭﾊﾞ～！ みたいな！
でも あれ やりすぎると 肩 痛めるね｡
This isn't good. I have no idea what she's saying.
《やばい… わからん｡
No, that's not right...you fry it? Vegetables?
なに しゃべってるのか 全然 わからん！
Does she understand my words?
というか ｵﾚの言葉は 通じているのか？
It might be my imagination, but she looks to be in a bad mood.
気のせいか だんだん 不機嫌に なっているような…｡
Or, actually, I can't tell if she's in a good mood or a bad mood.
ってか… ご機嫌か 不機嫌かも わかんねえよ！
やばい… このままじゃ 地球は 滅亡する！
This isn't good! At this rate, the Earth will be destroyed.
I'm so nervous, I want to poop.
緊張しすぎて ｳﾝｺしたくなってきた！
どうしよう… なんて言えば➡
What'll I do? What can I do to excuse myself without offending her?
中座しても 失礼に ならないんだ～!?》
《近藤:適当に ｳﾎｯって言うか!?
Maybe I'll just say, "Uho." If I add gestures, that should get it across.
ｼﾞｪｽﾁｬｰも交えれば 通じるはずだ！》
Uho.
ｳﾎｯ｡
[Translation: Would you like to go for a walk in the garden?]
Hey! What? Why is she coming with me? I don't believe it! Oh no!
おい!? なに これ!? なんで ついてくるの!?
ｳｿ これ！ やだ これ～｡
(お妙)ﾎﾝﾄ 久しぶりね～｡
It really has been ages.
おじい様から 武者修行の旅に 出たとは 聞いていたけれど➡
I heard from your grandfather that you went on a journey to train in the martial arts,
まさか こっちに 帰ってきていたなんて…｡
but I had no idea you had come this way... You should've told me.
知らせてくれればいいのに…｡
No one knows that I've returned, yet.
ﾎﾞｸが帰ってきたことは まだ 誰も知らない｡
真っ先に 妙ちゃんに会いにきたから｡
That's because I came straight to see you first.
えっ…｡
I missed you...
(九兵衛)会いたかった…｡ ちょっ…｡
Just a minute...
(九兵衛)あのときの約束を 覚えているか？
Do you remember the promise we made back then?
ﾎﾞｸは 約束どおり 強くなって帰ってきた｡
I've kept my promise and have become strong.
今度は 妙ちゃんが 約束を果たす番だ｡
Now it's your turn to keep your promise, Tae-chan.
Pri...
(近藤)おっ！ 王女～っ!!
Princess... How did a roof tile...?
なんで 上から瓦が!?
Sorry. It slipped.
あぁ すみません 手 滑っちゃって｡
あっ ｺﾞﾘﾗが２匹！
Ah, two gorillas!
げっ！
げぇぇぇ～っ!!
あっ はい… だいたい 修理 終わったんで➡
Oh, yes.
Most of the repairs are done, so please tell him the rain won't leak through again.
また 水が もるようなことがあれば➡
言ってください｡
結構 もらえたな｡
We got quite a bit.
姉上に ﾊﾞｰｹﾞﾝﾀﾞｯｼｭでも 買って帰ろうかな｡
Maybe I'll bring home some Baagen-Dash for Sis.
きっと ﾎﾞｸの思い過ごしだよね｡
I'm sure I was just worried about nothing.
姉上が どこの馬の骨とも しれない男と朝帰りなんて…｡
Sis would never return home the next morning with some total stranger.
Stop that... Just a minute...
(お妙)ちょっと やめ… ちょっと｡
やめてっ!!
Stop it!
なにを…！
Wh-What are you...
Princess Bubbles! Are you all right? Princess Bubbles!
ﾊﾞﾌﾞﾙｽ王女！ 大丈夫ですか？ ﾊﾞﾌﾞﾙｽ王女!!
《やべえよ 完全に ｷﾚちゃってるよ…｡
This is bad! She's totally angry.
ｹﾂのほうも これ完全に いっちゃったよ｡
My butt let one go! It's completely...
１本 まるまる いっちゃったよこれ…｡
Plus, we ran into the worst possible people.
しかも 最悪な連中と 出くわしてしまった…》
Hey, what're you doing here?
おいおい 何やってんだ？ お前 こんなところで｡
女に ﾓﾃないからって ついに ｺﾞﾘﾗと交際ｽﾀｰﾄ ｱﾙか？
Weren't popular with the girls, so now you've started going out with a gorilla?
That's going too far, Kagura.
言いすぎだぞ 神楽 冗談でも➡
There are things you shouldn't even joke about.
言っていいことと 悪いことがあんだろ？
That's his younger brother or something.
弟さんかなんかだよ｡
I can't tell them.
《言えねえ… 絶対 ｺﾞﾘﾗと 見合いしてたなんて➡
I can't say I'm having a marriage meeting with a gorilla if my ass tears apart.
ｹﾂが裂けても言えねえ…》
あっ おいおい 冗談よしてくれよ｡
Oh...
Hey, don't be so harsh. This is a pet. My pet.
これ ﾍﾟｯﾄだよ ﾍﾟｯﾄ｡
Pet? Seriously? You're keeping one this big?
ﾍﾟｯﾄ？ ﾏｼﾞでか？ こんな でけえの飼ってんだ｡
ﾍﾟｯﾄｼｮｯﾌﾟで 悲しげな目で こっち見てたからな｡
She looked at me with doleful eyes at the pet shop, so...
《王女 すみません！
Forgive me, Princess.
言葉が通じてないのが 唯一の救いだ…！》
That you don't understand me is the one saving grace.
(ﾊﾞﾌﾞﾙｽ王女)うがぁぁ～!! よ～し よし これ食べな｡
There, there. Have some.
Just a minute, what're you feeding her?!
ちょっと！ 何 勝手に食べさせてんの!?
豆ﾊﾟﾝの豆ｱﾙ｡ 豆ﾊﾟﾝのﾏﾒ？
The beans from a bean bun.
Beans from a bean bun?! What a terrible thing to feed the Princess!
お前 王女に 何食わしてんの!? 王女って何よ？
What do you mean, "Princess"?
え… いやあの… 王女って名前なんだよ｡
What?! You know, her name is Princess.
とにかくさ あの うちの王女ちゃんは➡
Anyway...my Princess-chan is not hungry right now.
今 お腹がいっぱい…｡ (ｹﾞｯﾌﾟの音)
(近藤)ほら 吐き出した！ お願いだから もうやめて あの…｡
You see? She spit it out. Please stop doing that...
食い物 粗末にすんじゃねえぇぇ!!
Don't waste food!
ちょっとおぉぉ～!!
Just a minute!
ちょっと ﾎﾝﾄ もうやめて～!
Really! Please stop that!
ﾀﾞﾒだよ お前！ いくら かわいくても➡
That's not right.
No matter how much you love her, you have to scold her when it's necessary.
怒るときには 怒らにゃ…｡ わかったから！
Okay, I understand! I'll train her properly! So let her go!
ちゃんと しつけするから！ もう離して！
This is bad. If this continues, there's no telling what they'll do to the Princess.
(近藤)いかん これ以上 ここにいたら 王女に➡
何されるかわからん｡ あの ｵﾚたち➡
We were taking a walk, so we'd better get going...
散歩の途中だから もう行く…｡
あれ？ 何それ？ あっ ｳﾝｺ ｱﾙ｡
Huh? What's that...?
It's a turd.
《あ～っ しまったぁぁ…｡
My god, no! I wore my hakama over boxers! It rolled out from the hakama.
今日は ﾄﾗﾝｸｽの上に袴だったぁぁ!!
裾から 転がり出てきやがった！》
今 お前の 袴の裾から 転がり出なかった？
Didn't that just roll out of your hakama?
１回蹴ったよ ﾜﾝﾄﾗｯﾌﾟ入れたｱﾙ｡
It bounced off your foot.
王女～っ!!
Princess!
ｳｷﾞｬｰ!! どこでも ｳﾝｺすんじゃねえって➡
I told you not to go potty all over the place!
言ったろうがぁぁ!!
(近藤)ﾎﾝﾄ しようがねえねぁ どこでも ｳﾝｺたれてね➡
What am I going to do with you? You go potty everywhere.
この子は ﾎﾝﾄ もう まいってんの てんてこまいなの!!
What am I going to do with you? You've riled me into a frenzy.
いや お前から出てきたって あれ…｡
No, it came from you.
Now see here, Sakata-kun. That's enough.
(近藤)ちょっとちょっと坂田君 いいかげんにしてよ！
ｵﾚ 歳いくつだと思ってんの？ もうすぐ三十路よ｡
How old do you think I am? I'm almost thirty.
んなわけないじゃん｡ おい 三十路！
I wouldn't do anything like that.
Hey, thirty-ish, you're leaving a trail of "miso."
[Note: Miso is fermented soy bean paste that often looks like poop.]
ﾐｿの道 できてんぞ｡
You're mistaken.
ちげえよ これ！ これは あれ 道に迷わないよう➡
This is, you know, biscuits I left as markers on the road so I wouldn't get lost.
ﾋﾞｽｹｯﾄを目印に置いてきたの！ もう迷ってるだろ｡
You're already lost. Lost on the path of life.
人生という名の迷路に｡ おっ…｡
ｳｺﾞ～ｯ！
(お妙)し 新ちゃん…｡
Sh-Shin-chan.
違うの 新ちゃん これは…｡
Y-You've got it all wrong, Shin-chan. This is...
２人して 何やっちゃってんのっ!?
What are the two of you doing together? You two!
お前ら～!! ｷｻﾏ➡
You bastard! What're you doing with my unwedded sister?!
嫁入り前の姉上に 何してんだっ!?
新ちゃん！ 新八君か｡
Shin-chan!
So you're Shinpachi-kun?
相も変わらず 姉離れが できていないらしい｡
Looks like you still can't let go of your sister. Isn't it about time you...
いいかげん ｷﾐも…｡
うっ おわぁ～!!
強くなったらどうだ？
grew up?
新ちゃん！
Shin-chan.
(九兵衛)別れの時だ｡
It's time for you to leave.
ｷﾐが そんなことでは➡
If you're always like that, Tae-chan will be too worried to ever leave home.
妙ちゃんも心配で 家を出られんだろう｡
Are you...
ｱﾝﾀ… 九兵衛さん…｡
Kyubei-san. Kyubei Yagyu-san?
柳生 九兵衛さんか？
What's the idea of showing up out of the blue and telling me that?!
いきなり現れて 何言ってんだ！
家を出るって いったいどういう？ そういう意味さ｡
What do you mean by leave home?
Just that.
ｷﾐは 知らんのかもしれんが ﾎﾞｸと妙ちゃんは 幼い頃➡
Perhaps you are unaware, but when we were young,
夫婦になる誓いを 共にたてた許婚だ｡
Tae-chan and I made a promise to become husband and wife.
We are engaged. From today on, she will be of the Yagyu clan.
今日をもって 彼女は 柳生家に来てもらう｡
はぁ!?
Huh?!
Your sister became mine and no longer yours a long time ago.
ｷﾐの姉上は もう遠い昔に ｷﾐのものではなく➡
ﾎﾞｸのものになっているんだ｡ ﾎﾞｸのものに何をしようと➡
What I do with her is not for you to complain about.
ｷﾐに文句を言われる覚えはない｡
何言ってんだ！ 幼い頃 誓ったって➡
What're you talking about?!
A promise when you were young?! What good is a child's promise...?
そんな 子供の約束… ねぇ 姉上｡
Right, Sis?
姉上…？
Sis...
Sis! Why aren't you saying anything?!
姉上 なんで何も言わないんですか？
新ちゃん… ごめんなさい… 私…｡
Shin-chan, I'm sorry. I...
《姉上… なんで…》
Sis...Why...
姉上！ (叫び声)
Sis!
ぐえっ！ いててて…｡
Ow, ow, ow.
Hey! Do something about her! She's your pet, isn't she?!
おい！ お前 あれ なんとかしろよ！
お前のﾍﾟｯﾄなんだろ！ (近藤)違う！ 実は あれ王女！
No! She's actually a princess.
あれ… お妙さん？
Huh? Otae-san?
あれ？ なに これ… なんか まずいとこ 入ってきた？
Huh? What's going on? Did we drop in at a bad time?
ｱﾈｺﾞ？ こんなところで なにやってるｱﾙか？
Big Sis! What are you doing here?
Everyone...
みんな… さようなら…｡
farewell...
Hey.
おい…｡ (うなり声)
げぇ～っ！ 王女 きた～!!
Princess is coming!
(うなり声)
Wait. Everyone apologize.
(近藤)ちょ とりあえず みんな 謝って！
How?
なんて？ (近藤)ｳﾎｯて！
Say "Uho."
Sis!
姉上！ (近藤)いや 姉上じゃなくて➡
Not "Sis," say "Uho."
ｳﾎｯて…｡ (うなり声と悲鳴)
Oh man...
(土方)あ～あ…｡
It was brand new.
おﾆｭｰだったのに｡ (沖田)土方さん➡
Hijikata-san, is this the second fight you've lost?
これで ｹﾝｶ負けんなあ ２回目ですか？
I didn't lose. It's just that my sword cracked.
負けてねえ 剣にﾋﾋﾞ入っただけだ｡
万事屋の旦那には 剣を折られてましたねぇ｡
The boss of the Odd jobs broke it in two-you lost that one.
ありゃ 負けでしょ｡ 負けてねえ｡
I didn't lose.
As long as you don't give up in your heart, it doesn't count as a loss.
ｹﾝｶは 心が折れねえ限り 負けたことにならねえ｡
That sounds just like you, Hijikata-san.
(沖田)さすが土方さんだ｡
目の前で 隊士10人 やられたのに➡
You didn't give up in your heart even after seeing
ten of your men beaten before your eyes.
心が折れねえたあ 憧れるぜ その図太さ｡
I gotta love that thick skin of yours.
I can't use this anymore, so maybe I'll break it...while lopping off your head.
どうせ これ もう 使いものにならんし➡
折っちまおうかな お前の首を落として｡
土方さん… 峰打ちじゃなきゃ➡
Hijikata-san, if he hadn't struck with the back of his sword,
全員 命 取られてるところでしたぜ｡
he'd have killed every one of them.
相手は 柳生の者とか…｡
I think he's a Yagyu...
柳生家といやあ かつては 将軍家の指南役を➡
The Yagyu are a prominent family that once served as martial art instructors to the Shogun's family.
仰せつかっていたほどの名家｡
Although swordsmanship has deteriorated following the arrival of the Amanto,
天人がきてからは 剣術は 零落する一方だというのに➡
いまだ その華麗なる技を 学ぶため➡
they say there are still many who knock on their doors to learn the art.
門を叩く者も多いとか…｡
これの 次期党首たるが 柳生 九兵衛｡
The successor to their clan is Kyubei Yagyu.
小柄で ｶﾞｷみてえな ﾂﾗした野郎らしいですが➡
He's small in stature and has a face like a kid,
とんでもねえ 神速の 剣の使い手で➡
but he is a swordsman with frightening, lightning-fast moves.
柳生家 始まって以来の 天才と呼ばれているらしいです｡
They say he's a prodigy the likes of which the Yagyu clan has never seen before.
ｵﾚぁ しょせん 坊ちゃんが習う 道場剣法…｡
I thought his was simply the type of swordsmanship taught to prodigal sons at the dojo,
実戦じゃ ｵﾚたちのほうが 上だと思ってましたがね｡
and that we would be superior in a real fight,
どうにも ｵﾚたちの田舎剣法じゃ➡
but it seems that our country swordsmanship is no match for his city swordsmanship.
ｼﾃｨｰ剣法には かなわねえらしい｡
Whether its swordsmanship or love... If he's her childhood betrothed,
(沖田)剣も 色恋も… 幼なじみの許婚ときちゃあ➡
近藤さんの出る幕はねえや｡
there's no room for Kondo-san.
Sogo, don't underestimate Kondo-san.
(土方)総悟 近藤さん なめんなよ｡
今回の見合い 近藤さん 見事➡
At his marriage meeting, Kondo-san successfully wooed that princess.
あの王女を 口説き落としたんだぞ｡
なんだか よくわからねえが ﾀﾌなところが 気に入ったってよ｡
I don't know the details, but it seems she took a liking to his toughness.
やればできるんだよ あの人は｡
That man can do it if he tries.
(沖田)するってえと なんですかい…｡
So does that mean if everything goes according to plan,
このままいったら あの ｺﾞﾘﾗが ｵﾚたちのねえさん…｡
that gorilla will become our mistress?
Shinpachi didn't come home today, either.
(神楽)新八 今日もこないね｡
Taking days off without permission...
ﾊﾟｼﾘのくせに 無断欠勤たあ ｸﾋﾞにしてやろうか｡
Maybe I should fire him.
ねぇ 銀ちゃん… ｱﾈｺﾞ もう帰ってこないｱﾙか？
Say, Gin-chan, is Big Sis ever coming back?
あれから 一度も 家に帰ってきてないって…｡
I heard she never came back after that.
なんか 修業してるから 帰れないって➡
A letter came from her saying she was training and couldn't come home.
手紙がきたんだって…｡
Training to be a wife.
花嫁修業… 嫁ぐ前に➡
There're a lot of things to study before getting married.
いろいろ 勉強しなきゃ ならねえんだろ｡
なんせ 柳生家は 名家中の 名家だからな｡
The Yagyu clan is, after all, one of the most prestigious households around.
玉の輿だよ？
She's marrying into a wonderful family.
I dunno if it was a promise made as kids, but they're handling it well.
ｶﾞｷの頃の約束だか なんだか 知らねえが➡
適当にしとくもんだな｡
The Yagyu are even going to help out Shinpachi's family's dojo.
新八んちの道場も 援助してくれるらしいよ｡
願ったり叶ったりだ｡
What more could they ask for?
Gin-chan... Mommy once told me:
銀ちゃん… 私のﾏﾐｰ 言ってたよ｡
結婚する 笑ってられるの 最初のうちｱﾙ｡
You can only smile at the start of a marriage.
Sometimes you become a nasty hag.
鬼ﾊﾞﾊﾞ なることもあるね｡
でも 最後のとき また 笑えたら➡
But if you can smile again at the end, you've lived a good life.
それ 上々な人生ね｡
ｱﾈｺﾞ… 笑って死ねるｱﾙか？
Do you think Big Sis can die smiling?
Break time.
休憩…｡ ｱﾈｺﾞ なんか隠してるね！
Big Sis is hiding something. She's forcing herself.
なんかﾑﾘしてるね！ 間違いないｱﾙ！
There's no doubt in my mind. It's a woman's intuition.
これ 女の勘ね｡
Don't be silly. You don't need intuition-it's totally obvious.
ｱﾎか… んなもん 勘じゃなくても 丸わかりだっつうの｡
I'll turn everything to black.
なに考えてんのか わかんねえけどよ…｡
Don't know what she's thinking, though.
あの女 自分で 選んでいったんだろ｡
That woman made her own choice.
だったら 笑うだろ… あの女なら｡
Which means she'll probably smile.
ﾁｯ… ｲﾔなもん 見ちまったぜ｡
...Tsk.
I saw something I shouldn't have.
Who are you people?
(門番)なんだい ｷﾐたちは？
You want to join our school? I'm afraid we are the Yagyu, so...
入門希望者？ あのぉ 悪いけど ここ柳生家だからさ｡
We are a prestigious, traditional family, so unless you're celebrities...
(門番)結構 由緒正しい 家柄だから➡
ｾﾚﾌﾞじゃないと ちょっと…｡
Or are you here to challenge our dojo?
それともなに？ 道場破りとかいわないよね➡
まさか…｡ やめておいたほうがいいよ｡
Better forget it. Right now, the Four Yagyu Aces are here...
今 うちさ… 柳生四天王っていう 猛者がいて…｡
いやいや…｡ 道場破りだなんて➡
Not at all.
We didn't come to do anything so dangerous as to challenge your dojo.
そんな物騒な…｡
♪♪～
In-Intruders!
(門下生)くせもの～！
Why are you doing this when you know we are the Yagyu clan?!
(門下生)何奴？ ここを 柳生家と知っての狼藉か！
我は 天堂無心流 恒道館道場が当主 志村 新八！
I am Shinpachi Shimura of the Tendo Mushin Style and head of the Kodokan Dojo.
そして ｵﾚは その門下 悟離羅 勲｡
And I am his student, Isao Gorilla!
天下の柳生流に 決闘を申し込まんと➡
We've come to ask for a showdown with the nationally known Yagyu Style!
参上つかまつった！
We have no interest in taking the Yagyu school name board. But...
柳生家の看板などに 興味はない｡
だが… 姉上を返せ～っ！
We want you to return my sister!
お妙さんを返せ～っ！
Give back Otae-san!
賊め…！
Rebels!
Get them! There's only two of them! Surround them!
(門下生)やれ！ たった２人だ 囲んでやってしまえ!!
(うめき声)
(門下生)なっ なんだ ｷｻﾏらは！
Wh-Who are you people?!
悪いな ２人じゃねえ｡
Sorry, there aren't just two.
Shinpachi, from today on, we're students, too.
新八… 今日から ｵﾚらも門下だ｡
なんだっけ… 天然ﾊﾟｰﾏ流？
What was your style again? The Naturally Wavy Hair Style?
銀さん… 神楽ちゃん！ お前ら！
Gin-san! Kagura-chan!
You guys!
[To be continued]
The next episode... "Yesterday's Enemy, After All Is Said and Done, Is Still the Enemy."
[Gintoki and friends storm the Yagyu dojo to take back Otae from Kyubei.]
[But the Four Yagyu Aces were right there waiting for them!!]