[Today we're kinda doing two stories for GinTama. The first story is about defeating the "Orochin" monster.]
[The second story is about Hammy's request. Actually, do you even remember who Hammy is?]
[Odd Jobs Gin]
Let's eat!
(神楽) いただきますよ～！
[Marinade 500 grams...Sugarville 100cc...water 100cc...oil]
[2 tablespoons...500 year old salt] [3 tablespoons...finely chopped coriander stem and root] [2 tablespoons...finely chopped garlic] [3 tablespoons...finely chopped ginger]
(新八)銀さん… 何すか？ これ｡ (銀時)何って 昼飯だろうが｡
Gin-san... What is this?
What do you mean?
It's lunch, of course.
(新八)いや そうじゃなくて…｡
No...that's not what I meant.
どう見ても ﾊﾟﾝとﾗｲｽですよね？ これ…｡
No matter how you look at it, this is just bread and rice, right?
ありのままを見ろ｡ これのどこが ﾌｨｯｼｭ ｱﾝﾄﾞ ﾁｯﾌﾟｽに見えるよ？
Well, obviously.
Does this look like fish and chips to you?
ﾊﾟﾝとﾗｲｽ 一緒に食べるほうが おかしわ！
Yeah, but eating bread with rice is just weird!
Are we like carb fanatics or something?!
どんだけ 炭水化物 好きなんだよ!!
あのなぁ 炭水化物は 人を幸せにしてくれんだぞ｡
You know, carbohydrates make people happy.
ﾗｰﾒﾝﾗｲｽしかり 力うどんしかり！
That's why we have ramen rice and chikara udon.
[Note: Chikara udon is udon noodles with sticky rice cakes.]
先人たちは 炭水化物を 組み合わせるという暴挙を➡
Our ancestors were the ones who recklessly combined carbohydrates into a meal,
みごと この国の伝統として 残したんだよ｡
and made it our country's tradition.
はぁ… まぁ 最近 仕事の依頼 少ないですからね｡
Yeah, we haven't been getting many jobs lately.
なんとかしないと こんな食事が ずっと続いちゃいますよ｡
If we don't do something quick, we may have to keep eating like this.
なんとかするったって➡
Yeah, I know we gotta do something,
but there aren't that many opportunities to make money, you know.
金になる話は そうそう 訪れねえんだよ｡
金になる話と 真実の愛は なかなか訪れてくれないの｡
Money making opportunities and true love are hard to come by.
(ｱﾅｳﾝｻｰ)続きまして 一獲千金の話題です｡
Next up, a story on getting rich quick.
(２人)ん!? ん？
Huh?
Let's turn it over to Ketsuno-san!
(ｱﾅｳﾝｻｰ)現場の結野さん！ 結野ｱﾅ！
Ketsuno, Ana!
(結野)はい！ 現場の結野です｡
Yes, this is Ketsuno reporting live.
Yamata, a tranquil village rich in nature, has recently been plagued by depopulation.
この 一見 自然に恵まれ のどかですが➡
過疎化に悩んできた ﾔﾏﾀ村では 追いうちをかけるように➡
To make matters worse...
謎の怪物が 村を襲うようになったのです｡
...the village has also come under attack by a mysterious monster.
(村人たち)また出たぞ～！ 助けて～！
(怪物の うなり声)
I beg you, please help our village.
(村長)お願いしますじゃ！ 村を… 村を助けてくだされ！
あの山に巣くう ｵﾛﾁﾝと 魔物どもを➡
Any brave warriors who can defeat Orochin and the monsters living in that mountain...
[Note: Yamata (the village) + Orochin (the monster) is a wordplay of Yamatano Orochi, an eight-headed snake folklore monster.]
倒してくださった勇者殿には…！
(ｵﾛﾁﾝの うなり声)
村の宝の この黄金の大根を 差し上げますじゃ！
...wilI be rewarded with our village's treasure...this golden radish.
(２人)黄金!? 大根!?
Golden?!
Radish!!
Brave warriors, please help us!
勇者殿！ 来てくだされ～!!
["You Don't Stand in Line for the Ramen, You Stand in Line for the Self Satisfaction"]
Go home!!
帰れ～！ 村に入ること 一歩も まかりなら～ん！
I will not allow you to step foot into this village!
ｵﾒｴさまらみてえな よそもんが 村さ入ったら➡
If outsiders like you came into our village,
畑のもん 勝手に食うわ 荒らすわ ｺﾞﾐは捨てるわ…➡
you'd eat all the food from our fields, destroy our land and litter all over.
村の幸せさ 台なしだべ～！
You'd destroy our village's happiness!
そんなもんさ 村に入れるのは➡
That's why as long as I live, I will never let you in!
ﾜｼの目の黒いうちは 絶対に許さんわ～っ!!
さっさと 帰った 帰った～!!
Now hurry up and go home!
(勇者)ふざけんな！ こんな田舎くんだりまで来て➡
We traveled all the way out here, you think we're gonna go home empty handed?
手ぶらで帰れるかというんだよ！
Shut up!
だまらっしゃ～い!! ぐだぐだ言ってねえで➡
Stop whining and get outta here!
とっとと帰るだ～っ!! (村人たち)帰れ 帰れ!!
Go away!
Go home!
(勇者)ｹｯ… やってられっか！
Jeez, I'm outta here.
(勇者)はぁ… かあちゃんに 何て言やいいんだよ｡
What am I supposed to tell my wife?
Gin-san, what are we gonna do?
銀さん どうします？
Well, we have no choice but to go home.
どうするって 帰るしかねえだろ？
Chief!
(村人)村長 またやっただよ 見てくんろ｡
We did it again!
Take a look!
ﾋﾋﾋﾋ… たんと取れたの～｡
You've got plenty.
まさか 倒した怪物が 金になるとは こっただ幸運➡
Who knew these monsters would turn into gold once they were defeated?
Why should we give our good fortune to outsiders?
よそ者にくれてやるこたねえべ ﾋﾋﾋ…！
Oh yeah, now I see why you wanted to drive away the brave warriors.
ほぅ そりゃ 勇者様を 追い返したくもなるわなぁ｡
な… なんじゃ？ おんしら い 今の話 聞いとったと!?
Wh-What?
Y-Y-You were listening to what I just said?
ﾆﾋﾋﾋ…｡
Yes, we were!
聞いちゃいました｡
ﾌｪｯ ﾌｪﾌｪﾌｪﾌｪ…｡
(みんな)ｱﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ…！
忘れろ！ 今すぐ忘れろ！
Forget everything!
Forget it right now!
一片の記憶も残さず 忘れろ!!
Erase every single thing from your memory!
Impossible.
ﾑﾘ！ 普通にﾑﾘでしょ！
You think anyone can really do that?
それより なんで急に…｡ (怪物の うなり声)
But more importantly, why suddenly...
(怪物の うなり声)
(怪物)ｷｭ～ﾝ…｡
なんだぁ？ ｺｲﾂ…｡
What's with this thing?
(怪物)ｷｭｰﾝ！
(３人)おおっ!! わぁ… おろおろ おろろ！
Move.
どけ！ ｼﾞｬﾏね｡
Out of our way.
Th-This is...
これは？ 金玉ね！ 神楽ちゃん！
Kintama!
[Note: "Kintama" literally means "golden ball," but is also a slang for testicles.]
Kagura-chan, girls shouldn't say that word.
女の子なんだから それは 言っちゃ ﾀﾞﾒだよ！
じゃ ｺﾞｰﾙﾃﾞﾝﾎﾞｰﾙね！ いや それもちょっと…｡
Okay then, how about golden ball?
That's right, girls shouldn't talk like that.
That's not good either.
でも この金があれば ﾊﾟﾝをおかずに ご飯を食べずに➡
But in any case, with this gold we no longer have to eat rice with bread.
すみますねぇ！ な～に 小せえこと言ってんだ！
Geez, dream a little bigger, will'ya?
これだけあれば…｡
Ouch!
If we have all of this then...
((ｲﾁｺﾞ牛乳 全部ください！))
I'll take all the strawberry milk you've got!
Oh, come on. Think bigger than that!
まだまだね… 私なら…｡
If it were me...
I'll take all the pickled seaweed and plum-flavored pickled seaweed.
((酢昆布と 梅味付き酢昆布 全部くださいね！))
２つに増えただけじゃん！ そんなもん！
All you did was add another item! That's all!
(ﾊﾀ皇子)ふぉ～っ!!
(ﾊﾀ)ﾋｨ～ｯ!!
(３人)うおっ うぉ～!!
おっ お主たち 早く余を助けよ！
Y-You guys, hurry up and save me.
(新八/神楽)おおっ!! あんだけ でかけりゃ…！
If it's that big...
もっと でかい金玉！ だから！
...then the "kintama" will be even bigger!
I said...
女の子が言っちゃ ﾀﾞﾒでしょ!!
...girls should not say that word, okay?
(うなり声)
はぁ～っ!!
Amazing!
(村人)すんげえ！ あんな でっけえ怪物を一瞬で…｡
They took down a monster that big in an instant.
そなたたち 大儀であった｡
Many thanks for your trouble.
褒めてつかわすゆえ 近うまいれ｡
Come closer so I can praise you.
銀さん これで ご飯とﾊﾟﾝの 食事とも おさらばですね｡
Gin-san, looks like we can say farewell to our days of eating rice and bread.
Hey, you guys.
What are you talking about?
何言ってんだよ！ こんだけ 金がありゃ➡
I am trying to give you some words of gratitude.
If we have this much money, we can splurge on a lot more.
もっと贅沢できんぞ！ …近うまいれ！
Come closer.
Hey, shut up, Prince Hata...I mean Prince Baka.
ちょっと 黙ってろ！ ﾊﾀ… ﾊﾞｶ皇子!!
なんで 合ってたのに途中で…｡ ご飯とﾊﾟﾝなんて 小さいこと➡
You talking about bread and rice?
You got my name right and then you corrected yourself?
Stop thinking so small, you commoner!
言ってんじゃねえ！ 小市民が！ …わざとらしい間 作って！
Not only that, you paused for effect?
Shut up, you idiot!
(神楽)うるせえぞ ﾊﾞｶ!! ご飯にﾊﾟﾝなんて➡
Bread with rice?
Jeez, calling me an idiot every single time.
これだから 小市民は いやｱﾙ！ ご飯に 海苔の佃煮 ニ瓶➡
That's why I don't like commoners.
Everyone knows real luxury is when you can eat two bottles
Is it really that much fun getting my name wrong?
ﾊﾟﾝに一瓶！ これが真の贅沢ｱﾙ！ 死ね!! ﾊﾞｶ！
Is it?
of sweetened seaweed preserves with rice and one bottle with bread!
You low class monkeys!
Die, you idiot!
That's luxury?
I'm not going to take this from you.
市民が贅沢？ 海苔の佃煮って たいして変わってないじゃん！
Having sweetened seaweed preserves isn't much of a difference.
I won't!
よ～し このまま 狩って 狩って 狩りまくって➡
All right, let's hunt, hunt, hunt like crazy so we can indulge in every possible luxury!!
贅沢三昧 しまくるぞ！
(２人)おう！
Yeah!
(３人)狩って 狩って 狩りまくるぞ！
Hunt, hunt, hunt like crazy!!
あぁ これ そこの者たち｡
Oh excuse me, you people over there, I have a question.
ちと ものを尋ねるが この辺りに ｵﾛﾁﾝという…｡
Is there something called an Orochin around here?
Dammit!!
しまった！ あんな勢いで 怪物を狩られたら➡
If they're going to hunt with such vigor they'll end up taking everything we own!
根こそぎ もっていかれるじゃ！
Hey, secretary!
秘書しゃん！ 村長の権限による➡
By the authority vested in me as the village chief, I declare a level one emergency.
第一級非常事態宣言 発令じゃ！
(秘書)ﾌｯ… はい｡
Yes, sir.
I make a rare appearance and this is how I get treated?
久々の出番だと思ったら なんじゃ この扱いは…｡
『D.Gray-man』に移籍するぞ！
I might as well transfer over to D. Gray-man.
[Note: D.Gray-man is another Shonen Jump manga.]
(半鐘の音)
なんだこりゃ？
What the heck is this?
Yeah, these buildings look out of place.
場違いな建物ばかりですね｡
It doesn't look that different from Kabukicho.
かぶき町と たいして違わないｱﾙ｡
[The house of happiness]
[The plaza of happiness]
[The mansion of happiness]
なんだ なんだ？ この 強制的な幸せ探しは｡
[Note: Sign in background says: "The civic hall of happiness."]
What's with this forced feeling of happiness?
幸せも過ぎて なんだか怖いね｡
Yeah, it's so happy that it's actually spooky.
公共事業の産物ってﾔﾂですね｡
This is what you call the product of public enterprise.
(神楽)これで幸せになれるｱﾙか？ 銀ちゃん｡
Do you think happiness can be achieved from this, Gin-chan?
幸せっていうのは 人それぞれだからなぁ｡
Happiness depends on each person.
幸せと思えば 幸せなんだろ｡
If you think you're happy, then you must be happy.
にしても こう建物ばかりじゃ➡
But in any case, with all these buildings, it'll be hard to find monsters.
怪物を見つけるのも ひと苦労…｡
So...there!
なんで… ﾊｯ！
Ouch!
(さっちゃん)あいたっ！
Aw...ouch.
あいたたた…｡ おい ｽﾄｰｶｰ！
Hey, Stalker!
今から ﾃﾒｴは猟犬だ！ えっ 犬!?
You're gonna be my hunting dog from now on.
A dog?!
あぁ ご主人様 どうぞ私めの鎖を…｡
Oh yes, Master, here is my chain.
いいか 怪物の居場所を見つけて ｵﾚたちに教えろ！
Listen up.
Find a monster and tell us where it is, you got that?
かわいそうだから 少しは つっこんであげましょうよ➡
Come on, she looks so pitiful. Let's give her a break, Gin-san.
銀さん…｡ うるせえぞ 黙ってろﾒｶﾞﾈ！
Shut up! Butt out, four-eyes.
いけ！ はっ！
Go!
Bow wow.
よいか 皆の衆…｡
Listen up, you all!
これから 村人総出で 怪物狩りじゃ｡
The whole village will now go on a monster hunt.
村が もっと もっと 幸せになるためにも➡
Do your best for the happiness of this village!
がんばるんじゃ！
(村人たちの歓声)
お片づけ～っ！
You're mine!
ほわちゃ～っ！
たぁっ！
(うなり声)
うわ～っ なんでﾎﾞｸだけ!? (銀時/神楽)はっ!!
Why just me?!
Attack!
かかれ～っ！
♪♪～
ﾋｯﾋｯﾋ この調子で 金の玉を 集めまくるんじゃ！
Keep it up so we can collect as many golden balls as we can!
えぇいっ！
ﾊﾊﾊ… 拾え 拾え！ 全部 ｵﾚたちのもんじゃ！
Pick'em up, pick'em up.
They're all ours!
金じゃ… 金の玉じゃ 金玉じゃ！
It's gold.
Golden balls, golden balls!
ﾌﾍﾍﾍ… 金玉が１個 金玉が２個… 金玉が３個…！
One golden ball, two golden balls, three golden balls...
銀さんの金玉が１個… 銀さんの金玉が２個…｡
One of Gin-san's golden balls, two of Gin-san's golden balls, three of Gin-san's-
銀さんの金… うぶっ！
Stop saying stuff that'll give people the wrong idea and just go find monsters!
誤解を招くようなこと 言ってねえで➡
ﾃﾒｴは 怪物 探してこい！ ﾜﾝ…｡
Bow wow...
♪♪～
Gin-san, this way, bow wow.
銀さん こっちだﾜﾝ！
♪♪～
Where's Orochin?
ｵﾛﾁﾝは いずこじゃ～！
♪♪～
今度は こっちだﾜﾝ！
Now, this way, bow wow.
(雄叫び)
Orochin... Orochin.
(ﾊﾀ/じい)ひぃっ ｵﾛﾁﾝ！
Gin-san!
銀さん あれが最後の怪物だﾜﾝ！
That's the last monster, bow wow.
All right!! Here we go.
よっしゃ 早速！ (急ﾌﾞﾚｰｷ音)
新八 神楽… 気い抜くんじゃねえぞ！
Shinpachi, Kagura, don't lose focus now.
All right!
村の衆 負けんじゃねえっぺ！ (雄叫び)
Villagers!
Don't lose to them!
かかれ～っ！
Attack!
♪♪～
Make sure you get all the golden balls.
金の玉を すべて 手に入れるんじゃ！
ﾔﾂらに １つとて 渡してはならん！
Don't let them grab a single one!
これは 私の金玉ね！ 誰にも渡さないｱﾙ！
These are my golden balls.
No one's gonna take'em away from me!
ちょっと！ それ ﾎﾞｸたちのですよ！
Hey, that's ours.
触らないでください！
Don't touch them!
Try and get'em if you can.
取れるもんなら 取ってみろ！
Keep your hands off Gin-san, bow wow.
銀さんに 手は出させないわ！
(村人)くさっ！ なんだべ？ この納豆は!?
It stinks! What's is this? Natto?
そっ 村長… ﾀﾞﾒだぁ ﾔﾂら 強すぎるべ！
Ch-Chief, it's useless.
They're too strong.
ｵﾗたちじゃ かなわないべ！ うぬぬ…！
We're no match for them.
あっ ｵﾛﾁﾝじゃ！ ｵﾛﾁﾝを狩るんじゃ!!
Orochin!
Hunt down Orochin!
そうすれば まだまだ 金の玉は 手に入るべ！
Then we will still get more golden balls!
皆の衆 ｵﾛﾁﾝじゃ！ ｵﾛﾁﾝを狩るんじゃ!!
Everyone, hunt down Orochin!
Orochin!
He's right.
そうすれば まだまだ 金の玉が 手に入るべ！
If we kill Orochin, we'll get even more golden balls.
He's right, let's hunt down Orochin!
ｵﾛﾁﾝ狩りじゃ～！ (雄叫び)
Let's go hunt down Orochin!
新八 神楽！ ｵﾚたちも ｵﾛﾁﾝ狩りじゃ！
Shinpachi, Kagura.
Let's go hunt down Orochin, too!
(新八/神楽)おう！
All right!
♪♪～
Wow! Amazing!
おぉ すげえべ！ ﾊｧｯ！
(村人)ちょっと ｱﾝﾀ！ 気持いいべ…｡
Wow, this feels good...
♪♪～
[Mountain summit]
こんなんに だまされっか！ (神楽たち)おう！
Like I'm gonna fall for that!
♪♪～
Oro oro oro oro orochin.
(ｵﾛﾁﾝ)ｵﾛｵﾛｵﾛ… ｵﾛﾁｰﾝ！
(雄叫び)
Orochin!
ｵﾛﾁｰﾝ！
Give yourself up!
ｷﾞﾌﾞｱｯﾌﾟせ～い！
♪♪～
(銀時/新八)あぁ…｡
あぁ…｡
(村長)こ… これは どういうことだべ？
What's going on?
♪♪～
(村長) 秘書さん これは いったい…｡
Secretary... What just happened?
(秘書)ここにいたｵﾛﾁﾝは擬態｡
That was a fake Orochin.
本当のｵﾛﾁﾝは 私なのです｡
The real Orochin is me.
(驚きの声)
In order for me to take on my true form as Orochin,
私は ｵﾛﾁﾝとしての 真の姿になるために➡
人々の尽きることのない 欲望を必要とするのです｡
I needed the power of people's endless greed.
そのために 村に怪物を放ち➡
To get that, I let loose monsters in your village
それを倒すことによって 金を得るよう仕向けたのです｡
and I planned it so you can get gold when you kill them.
だったら なにも わざわざ 金を怪物にしなくても…｡
If that was the case, why even have monsters in the first place?
それでは おもしろくありませんわ｡
It wouldn't have been as fun now, would it?
いくら おいしいﾗｰﾒﾝ屋でも➡
It's like even if a noodle shop sells the best tasting noodles,
行列のないﾗｰﾒﾝ屋に行こうとは 思わないものでしょう？
who would want to go there if there wasn't a line to get in?
まぁ 確かに…｡
I guess...that's true.
ﾌﾌﾌ… 納得していただけたところで➡
Now that you understand, I'd like to thank you by showing you my true form.
お礼に 私の真の姿を お見せしましょう｡
♪♪～
(みんな)おぉ～！
(ｵﾛﾁﾝ)ひとつ 謝らなければ ならないことがあります｡
There is one thing I must apologize for.
[Note: This is a parody of a scene from Osamu Tezuka's Phoenix manga. She looks like the Phoenix character.]
私が真の姿になると 同時に 欲望の対象だった金の玉は➡
When I turn into my true form, the golden balls,
which were the objects of your desires, turn into dirt.
ただの土に戻ってしまうのです｡
(みんな)えぇ!?
あぁっ！
Y-You're kidding...
そ… そんな…｡
(ｵﾛﾁﾝ)では 皆さん さようなら！
Well, farewell everyone!!
(ﾊﾀ)あっ ｵﾛﾁﾝ！ あぁ 飛んでいく!!
Orochin.
Ah, it's flying away.
(ﾊﾀ)戻ってまいれ！ じい 何とかせい!!
Come back!
Come on, old man. Do something.
(じい)ｱﾝﾀ ﾊﾞｶですか！
Are you an idiot or what?
What did you say?
(ﾊﾀ)なんだと～!? それが 皇子たる余に言う… うわぁ～!!
Is that any way to talk to a prince?
ﾄﾎﾎ… ﾜｼの幸せ村作り計画が 終わってしもたぁ～！
Looks like my plan to build a happy village is over.
おいおい 人間 生きてりゃ➡
Hey come on, in life, there are happy times and unhappy times.
幸せなことも 不幸せなこともあるもんさ！
ｼﾞｮｰｼﾞが言ってたよ…｡
George once told me, sometimes it's the simple things in life that can give you happiness.
[Note: Lyrics from the "Road" song sung by George Takahashi.]
｢なんでもないようなことが 幸せなんだと思う｣ってな｡
(３人)あっ 100円みっけ！
Ah!
I found 100 yen!
ｵﾚが最初に見つけたんだ！ ｵﾚのもんだ!!
I saw it first.
It's mine!
ﾎﾞｸなんか洞窟から出てきたときに 見つけてたもんね！
I saw it when I first came out of the cave.
(神楽)あっ ずるいね！ 私なんか私なんか➡
That's not fair.
You know I saw it when we were climbing the mountain!
山に登ってきたときに 見つけてたｱﾙね！
You idiots!
ﾊﾞｰｶ ﾊﾞｰｶ！ 最初に手をつけたのは ｵﾚ様なんだよ!!
I'm the first one to touch it!
["You Say Kawaii So Often, You Must Really Think You're Cute Stuff"]
(ﾊﾑ子)前に ｱﾝﾀに 助けてもらったみたいなことを➡
My dad said something about how you guys saved me once.
ﾊﾟﾊﾟから聞いて～｡
So I came to ask you a favor.
それで 頼みたいことがあって 来たんだけど～｡
覚えてねえなぁ… あぁ あれですか？
I don't remember at all.
Oh, wait, is it something like...
[Note: Shabu Shabu is a hot pot dish.]
しゃぶしゃぶに されそうになってるところを➡
I saved your fat ass from almost being turned into "Shabu Shabu"?
助けたとか… なんか そんなんですか？
(ﾊﾑ子)ちょっと！ ﾏｼﾞ ﾑｶつくんですけど｡
You're, like, really getting on my nerves.
ありえないじゃん！ そんな!!
That's like, impossible.
You're right.
そうですね しゃぶしゃぶは牛ですもんね｡
Shabu Shabu is made with beef.
So what?
じゃあ なんですか… ﾎﾟｰｸﾋﾞｯﾂか？
Was it Pork Bits?
[Note: Pork Bits is a brand of sausage in Japan.]
ﾎﾟｰｸﾋﾞｯﾂなら満足か？ この野郎｡ 何の話してんだよ！
You okay with that one, Miss Piggy?
Do you even know what you're talking about?
あれですよ！ 春雨と やり合ったときの…｡
She's from back then...You know, when we fought the Harusame gang.
あぁ はいはい… あのﾊﾑの！
Oh right, Ham girl!
豚からﾊﾑに 変わっただけじゃねえかよ！
You just went from calling me a pig to ham!!
もう ﾏｼﾞ ありえないんだけど｡
Seriously, that would never happen, okay?
頼りになるって聞いたから 仕事 もってきたのに➡
I was told you guys were reliable,
so I came here to hire you, but you're all like, pissing me off!
ただのﾑｶつくﾔﾂじゃん！ お前もな!!
Yeah, and so are you.
なにを!? (すする音)
What?!
すみません… あの➡
I...I'm sorry.
So how have things been after that, Hammy-san?
ﾊﾑ子さんのほうは その後 どうなんですか？
(ﾊﾑ子)ｱﾝﾀ ﾌｫﾛｰに まわってるみたいだけど➡
I can see you're trying to salvage the situation, but my name's Kimiko not Hamiko.
ﾊﾑ子じゃないから！ 公子だから｡
転生郷なら もうすっかりやめたよ｡
I stopped doing "Paradise" a long time ago.
[Note: Paradise is a drug mentioned waaaay back in episode 13.]
立ち直るの ﾏｼﾞ 大変でさ｡
It's been really hard to get over it and I'm still getting treated at the hospital.
いまだに通院してんの！ もうｶﾞﾘｶﾞﾘ!!
It just wears me down.
なにがｶﾞﾘｶﾞﾘ？ 心が？
Wears what down?
Your heart?
痛い目みたし もう懲りたの｡
I already paid for what I did and I learned my lesson.
でも 今度は彼氏のほうが ﾔﾊﾞｲことになってて…｡
But this time it's my boyfriend who's in trouble.
ﾊﾑ子さん ｱﾝﾀ まだ幻覚 見えてんじゃないですか！
Hamko-san, you must still be hallucinating.
ｵﾒｴら 人を傷つけて そんなに楽しいか！
Do you guys really get that much enjoyment out of teasing me?
これ 彼氏からのﾒｰﾙなんだけど～｡
This is the text message I got from my boyfriend.
[From: Tasuke]
I'm in deep poop!
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy]
Deep, deep poopy!
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!]
How deep?
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!]
Real deep.
[From: Tasuke] [Poopy] [I'm in deep poop!] [Deep, deep poopy!] [How deep?]
[Real deep.]
[I'm talking deep.]
I'm talking deep.
Yup, this is bad.
あぁ ﾎﾝﾄ ﾔﾍﾞｴな こりゃ｡
Better call a mental hospital instead of us.
ｵﾚたちより 病院に行ったほうが…｡
He's not crazy in the head!
頭じゃねえよ！
To tell you the truth, my boyfriend was a "Paradise" drug dealer.
実は 私の彼氏 転生郷の売人やってたんだけど～｡
私が 足を洗ったのを機に➡
When I quit, we decided to go straight together and live decent lives.
一緒に まっとうに生きよう ってことになったの～｡
けど 深いところまで 関わりすぎてたらしくて➡
But...apparently he was in too deep and not only would they not let him quit,
辞めさせてもらうどころか 何か組織の連中に狙われ出して➡
but the organization is now after him too.
とにかく超ﾔﾊﾞｲの～！
In any case, he's in totally deep poop.
それで ｱﾝﾀたちに力を借りたくて～｡
That's why I'm here to ask for your help.
(天人)とっとと捜せ！ ｵﾗ!!
Hurry up and find him! Come on!
Where the hell is he?!
(天人)どこ行きやがった！ ｱｲﾂ｡
(太助)ﾊｧ… ﾊｧ…｡
ﾔﾍﾞｴよ ﾏｼﾞ ﾔﾍﾞｴよ!! 公子のﾔﾂ 何やってんだ!?
Crap! I'm in deep poop!
What the heck is Kimiko doing?
うわぁ～！
Hmm... So you're planning on leaving the organization
(ﾘｰﾀﾞｰ)ふぅん 組織から抜けて➡
これからは その公子ちゃんと 仲よく暮らすわけだ？
to go live happily ever after with this Kimiko-chan?
誰だ？ 公子って… ﾃﾒｴの女か？
Who the hell is Kimiko?
Is she your woman?
(ﾘｰﾀﾞｰ)ｿｲﾂは いいなぁ 太助｡
Well, isn't that nice, Tasuke.
ﾋｨ～ｯ！
待ってくれ！ 見逃してくれ!!
W-Wait.
Let me go!
ｵﾚは もう ﾔﾊﾞｲ仕事 したくねえんだよ！
I don't wanna do this kind of risky stuff anymore.
まっとうに生きてえんだよ！
I want to live a decent life.
Decent?
まっとうだ～？ 仲間 裏切ったﾔﾂが よく言うぜ｡
That's funny coming from a thief like you!
ｵﾚたちだって ﾃﾒｴになんざ 興味はねえ｡
We don't give a damn about you!
We just want the stuff!
あれが 欲しいだけだ｡
We're not gonna let you just taste the good stuff and then run away.
おいしい汁だけ すすって とんずらなんざ 許さねえよ｡
Where did you hide it?
あれ どこに隠した？ さっさと言わねえと…｡
You'd better tell us quick or else...
待ってくれ… ｵﾚ ﾎﾝﾄに…！
W-Wait.
I really don't...
(太助)ｷﾞｬｰｯ!!
こういうことに なるぜ｡
This is what's gonna happen!
まだ しゃべれるよな？
You can still talk, right?
はい 次 ここ いくよ ここ｡
Okay, next I'll cut here. Right here!
待って！ ｵﾚ ﾎﾝﾄ 知らねえんだって！
Wait!
I really don't know anything.
ﾏｼﾞ 持ってないから…！ (ﾘｰﾀﾞｰ)じゃあ 死ね！
Seriously, I don't have it.
Then, die!
あぁぁ～っ…！ うわぁぁぁ～っ!!
ぐわぁぁ～っ!! (太助)ひぃ～っ!!
Who the hell are you?
(ｿﾞｳ)な… なんだ ﾃﾒｴは!?
Who the hell am I?
[Note: Spoof of Strange Old Man character by Ken Shimura.]
なんだ ﾁﾐはってか？ そうです！
Yeah, you got it.
私が… ぐえっ…！ (太助)あぁっ…!?
I'm-
太助～!! (太助)公子～！
Tasuke!
Kimiko!
(ﾊﾑ子)もう 大丈夫｡
Everything's okay now.
I brought the Odd Jobs guy with me.
万事屋 連れてきたから｡ ｱｲﾂら 金 払えば➡
These guys will do anything as long as you pay them.
なんでも やってくれんの～！ なんでも やるっつうか➡
Do anything?
もう なんにも やれそうにねえぞ｡ 大丈夫なのか!?
Looks like he can't even stand up.
You sure about this?
うぅっ… ｼﾞｬﾏしやがって！
Ow... She ruined it.
おい！ 作戦変更だ！ 連中を残して 戦線離脱すんぞ！
Hey, change of plans.
We're gonna leave these guys and retreat.
あいあいさ～！
Aye aye, sir.
Hey!
(ﾊﾑ子)なっ… あぁっ！ ﾃﾒｴ なに１人で 逃げてんの～!?
What the hell are you doing escaping alone?!
悪いが ﾌﾞﾀ２匹しょって 逃げる作戦なんざ➡
Sorry but I never had plans to escape with two pigs on my back.
用意しちゃいねえ！ (ﾊﾑ子)ふざけんな！
What the hell?!
ﾊﾟﾌｪ 何杯 食わせてやったと思ってんだよ！
Do you know how many parfaits I treated you to?
きっちり 働けや！
You'd better work for them!
うぉ～っ…!!
は… 腹が しめつけられ… ぐふっ！
My-My stomach's getting squished...
ﾔﾊﾞｲって これ！ 出るって！
Oh crap, this is bad.
It's gonna come out! I'm telling you my internal organs are gonna burst out.
なんか 内臓的なものが 出るって～!!
Your internal organs?
内臓的なもの!? いやだよ そんな 銀ちゃん！
No, Gin-chan!!
If something like that comes out, I'll never be able to get the image out of my head!
四六時中 そんなの出てたら 気を遣うよ！
関係 ｷﾞｸｼｬｸしてしまうよ！ 出るわけねえだろ そんなもん!!
It'll ruin our friendship!
Like that would really happen!
新八 縄 お願いｱﾙ！ あっ… ちょっと～!!
Shinpachi, take the rope.
Hey, hang on.
(神楽)ﾊﾑ子～!! ぐふっ!!
Hamko!
Let go of Gin-chan or else his internal organs will pop out!
銀ちゃんから 手を離すよろし！
このままでは 銀ちゃんの内臓が～!!
(ﾊﾑ子)ちょ… なにすんの!? ﾏｼﾞ むかつくんだけど この小娘！
Hey...what are you doing? You're seriously pissing me off!
Speaking of which, you get off me too...
っていうか ﾃﾒｴも 降り…➡
Ah!!
あっ！ 出た！ ｹﾂから なんか出たぞ これ～！
It came out!!
Something came out of my ass!!
Shinpachi!
新八 見てくれ これ！ 何か出てない？ ｵﾚ！
Take a look for me.
Did something come out? Did it?
How would I know?
知るかっつうの～！ あ～ ﾀﾞﾒだ～!!
I can't hold it anymore!
(銀時たち)ぐへっ…！ 銀さん！
Gin-san!
ﾔﾊﾞｲ… 早く逃げて～!!
Oh no, get outta there quick!
(天人たち)うぉ～っ!!
(銃声) (天人たち)うわ～っ!!
ｹｯ！ 結局 ｵﾚたちゃあ ｺｲﾂが いちばん向いてるらしいな｡
When you get down to it, this suits us the best.
ついてこい ﾃﾒｴら！ 強行突破だ～!!
Follow me, guys.
We're gonna bulldoze our way through!!
おら おら～！ どけどけ～!!
Outta my way!
ｱﾁｮ～!! (ﾊﾑ子)おぉ～っ！
ｱﾝﾀ やればできるじゃん！ やっべ 惚れそう！
You can totally kick ass!
Oh, I think I'm falling for you.
いや… ﾎﾝﾄに ﾔﾍﾞｴから やめて～！
No, seriously, that's bad. Don't do that.
それより これ 何!? どういうこと!?
Besides, what's all this?
What's going on?
たかが ﾁﾝﾋﾟﾗ１人の送別会にしちゃあ➡
Pretty big going away party for one little punk, eh?!
えらい 豪勢じゃねえか～！
Something fishy is going on with pube head over there!
どうにも ｷﾅくせえな～ その 陰毛頭！
What?
なに？ 太助が よからぬことでも やってるっていうわけ？
Are you saying Tasuke might have done something bad?
ふざけんな！ ｵﾚは 公子と一緒に➡
No way!
I decided to live a decent life with Kimiko!
まっとうに生きていくと 決めたんだ！
それから ｵﾚは 陰毛頭じゃねえ！ これは ｵｼｬﾚｶﾂﾗだ！
And I ain't no pube head.
This is a fashionable wig.
なめんなよ～！
Don't dis my wig!
…お～い｡
Hey...
ものを隠したの どこかぐらい 自分で 覚えておこうや…｡
You really should remember where you hide your stuff.
(天人)あっ！ あれは 転生郷!!
It's the "Paradise!"
So that's where the bastard was hiding it.
(天人)野郎 あんなところに 隠してやがったのか！
Grab it!
取り戻せ～!! (天人たち)うぉ～っ!!
太助…｡
...Tasuke...
(ﾊﾑ子)ｱﾝﾀ 組織から 転生郷 持ち逃げしてきたんだね!?
You...stole "Paradise" from the gang, didn't you?
(ﾊﾑ子)どうして!?
Why?
もう やめようって言ったじゃん！
You said you were gonna quit!
一緒に まっとうに生きようって 言ったじゃん！
You said we'd live a decent life together!
太助！ 取り引きといこうか｡
Tasuke... How about we make a deal?
You can have her back in exchange for the drugs you stole.
(ﾘｰﾀﾞｰ)ｺｲﾂと ｵﾒｴの盗んだﾌﾞﾂ 交換だ…｡
今 渡せば お前も許してやるよ｡
Hand it over now and I'll let you go too.
言うこと 聞いちゃﾀﾞﾒ！ 殺されるよ！
Don't listen to him.
He's going to kill you!
私なんてかまわず 早く逃げ…➡
Forget about me. Hurry and run-
って… 即決かい!! 逃げ足 はやっ！
That didn't take you long to decide!
And you run so fast?!
Do whatever you want to her!
その女なら 好きなようにしてくれていいぜ！
あばよ 公子！ お前とは お別れだ！
Later, Kimiko! Nice knowing you!
(太助)金 持ってるみてえだから つきあってやってたけど➡
I only went out with you 'cause I thought you were rich.
そうじゃなけりゃあ お前みたいなﾌﾞﾀ女 ごめんだよ！
Otherwise who would wanna go out with a pig like you?
In the end, this world is all about...
世の中 結局… 金なんだよ！
...money.
ふんっ！ (太助)どわっ！
なぁ～っ!?
人間 食い物にする天人…｡
You Amanto who prey on humans.
And you pathetic humans who wag your tails and lap up the crumbs.
それに甘んじ ｼｯﾎﾟ振って➡
ﾔﾂらの残飯に がっつく 人間ども…｡
You're the pigs.
ﾌﾞﾀは ﾃﾒｴらのほうだよ！
薄汚ねえ ﾌﾞﾀ守るなんて ｵﾚは ごめんだぜ｡
No way am I going to protect a miserable pig like him.
Whose side are you on, you bastard?!
ﾃﾒｴ… 敵なのか味方なのか どっちだ!?
どっちでもねえよ！
Neither.
But never mind that. Here.
それより ほら これ｡
ｺｲﾂと その ﾌﾞｻｲｸ 交換しようぜ｡
I'll trade you this for the ugly chick.
お前から 渡せ｡
You hand it over first.
What are you afraid of?
な～に ﾋﾞﾋﾞってんだか…｡
あぁっ…！ (天人)ｱｲﾂ 投げやがった～！
He threw it!
Hey, somebody catch it!
(天人)おい！ 誰か 取れ!!
てやぁ～っ!!
Oh no, our precious "Paradise."
あぁ～っ!! 大切な 転生郷が～！
お前ら 拾え拾え～!! ｱｲﾂ なにしてくれてんだ！
Scoop it up! Pick it up!
What the hell has he done?
(天人)そういや あの女も いねえぞ！
Hey, that girl's gone too.
This is unbelievable.
(ﾊﾑ子) ﾏｼﾞ ありえないんですけど～｡
太助 助けてくれって 言ったのに➡
I asked you to help Tasuke and look what happened.
なんで こんなことに なるわけ～？
You're the one who's unbelievable.
ありえねえのは お前だろう？ どうすんだ？ それ｡
What are you gonna do with that mess?
言っとくけど それは 焼いても食べられませんよ｡
Just to let you know, you can't eat that even if you grill it.
お前ら 最後まで それか｡
Are we going there again?
Is it because if you let him go you may never get a boyfriend again?
ｺｲﾂ逃すと 彼氏なんて 一生 できなさそうだからか？
世の中には 奇跡 ってのが あるんだぜ｡
There are such things as miracles in this world, you know.
そんな 哀れみに満ちた奇跡は いらねえ｡
I don't need a pathetic miracle like that.
こんなﾔﾂに つきあえるの… 私くらいしか いないでしょう｡
I'm probably the only one...
...who would go out with a loser like him.
何なんだ？ ありゃあ…｡
What was that all about?
They look more like mother and son...
恋人というより… 親子みたいですね｡
...than a couple.
If I had a mother like that, I'd turn to crime, too.
あんな母親… ｵﾚなら ｸﾞﾚるね｡
[Next: "Rank Has Nothing to Do With Luck"]
[A cold has been going around Gostess Club Smile. And of all times, an important guest decides to stop by.]
[The usual characters are asked to help. And who shows up but the Shogun himself!!]