[With utter confidence, Ayumu Tojo brings information about Kyubei's frightening plans...]
[Gintoki and his friends are hired to stop Kyubei. What will become of Kyubei's XXX?!]
(鹿威し)
A journal of the Young Master's growth...by Ayumu Tojo.
(東城)｢若の成長日記｡ 東城 歩｡
12月１日｡
December 1.
Today, as always, the proper Young Master is noble, dignified and lovely.
今日も 麗しの若は 気高く凛々しく 美しい｡
あの一件以来 どこか 表情が やわらかくなった｡
Since that incident, her expression seems softer.
これは 妙殿の存在が 大きかろう｡
Tae-dono's presence has much to do with it.
あんな騒動が あったにも かかわらず➡
Despite that scandal, she still maintains a deep friendship with the Young Master as she always has.
変わらず 若と親交を交わす 彼女の懐の深さには➡
I have a heartfelt admiration for the deepness of her tolerance.
心底 感服する｡
妙齢の 女子２人 仲むつまじく 歩く姿は➡
It is truly heartwarming to see two blooming young ladies
of marriageable age walking together in such a friendly manner.
実に ほほえましい｡ やはり 若は 女の子だ｡
The Young Master is a girl, after all.
いろいろ 遠回りしてしまったが➡
I have taken a long time to get to my point,
やはり 若には 女子としての幸せを➡
but I wish for the Young Master to find her happiness as a girl.
つかんでほしい｡
12月２日｡
December 2.
As a slight hint, I placed a Gothic Lolita dress in the Young Master's room.
軽いｼﾞｬﾌﾞとして 若の部屋に ｺﾞｽﾛﾘ衣装を 置いておく｡
燃やされる｡
She burned it.
December 4.
12月４日｡
The curtain rail above her curtain came loose, so I went to Loft.
[Note: Loft is a Shibuya, Tokyo based homeowner's department store that carries a variety of household goods.]
ｶｰﾃﾝの上の ｼｬｰってなるﾔﾂが 外れたので ﾛﾌﾄに行く｡
December 7.
12月７日 機は熟した｡
The time appeared ripe. So I left a Gothic Lolita dress...
ｺﾞｽﾛﾘ衣装を…｡ (爆発音)
爆破される！
She blew it up.
December 10.
12月10日 ｶｰﾃﾝの上の➡
The curtain rail above her curtain came loose, so I went to Loft.
ｼｬｰってなるﾔﾂが あれだったので ﾛﾌﾄに行く｡
December 12.
12月12日 ﾅｰｽ服を…｡
I left a nurse's costume...
爆破される｡ (爆発音)
She blew it up.
December 14. The curtain rail above her curtain...
12月14日 ｶｰﾃﾝの…｡
爆破される｡ (爆発音)
She blew it up.
この日記を 今 読んでいる者へ｡
To anyone reading this journal.
The fact that you are reading this means that I am probably no longer of this world.
これを 今 そなたが 読んでいるということは➡
おそらく 私は もう この世に いないだろう｡
However, I believe you can certainly understand my feelings for the Young Master.
しかし 私の 若への思いは➡
重々 わかってくれたことと思う｡
頼む… どうか 私の意志を継ぎ➡
I implore you to see my will through...
and make...the Young Master...into a fine young woman...
若を… 若を… 立派な女の子に…｡
12月15日｡
December 15.
The curtain rail above her curtain came loose, so I went to Loft.
ｶｰﾃﾝの上の ｼｬｰのﾔﾂが やっぱり あれなので ﾛﾌﾄへ…｣
(銀時たち)うぉりゃ～!!
["The Most Exciting Part of a Group Date is Before it Starts"]
What the heck is this? A journal of the Young Master's growth?
(銀時)なんだよ？ これ｡ ｢若の成長日記｣って…｡
How much free time do you have?
(新八)ｱﾝﾀ どんだけ ﾋﾏなんですか？
There's nothing in here except how you harassed Kyubei-san and went back and forth from Loft.
九兵衛さんへの 嫌がらせと➡
ﾛﾌﾄの往復しか してないじゃないですか｡
What's your obsession with the curtain guy?
つうか どんだけ ｶｰﾃﾝのｼｬｰ 気になってんですか？
Well, there were battles with the Anti-Yagyu and other things,
(東城)いや～ 他にも ｢裏柳生との死闘｣とか➡
いろいろ あったんですが とりたてて 日記に➡
but it wasn't worth putting in the journal.
書くほどのことでも ないので…｡ ｼｬｰのほうが いらねえ！
The curtain guy was even more irrelevant!
若の複雑な事情を知る あなたたちならば➡
I came to ask you because I thought you might be able to help,
力になってくれるのではと 頼みにきたしだいです｡
being that you know the Young Master's complicated circumstances.
Could you please lend a hand?
どうか 力を貸していただけませんかね？
It's difficult for us to do anything precisely because we do know the circumstances.
事情を知ってるからこそ 手が出しづらいんだろうが｡
今まで 男として育てられて 急に 女になれ？
You want someone who was brought up as a man to suddenly become a woman?
お前 今日から女になれ って 言われてなれるか？ あん？
If someone told you to become a woman from today, could you do it?
Huh?
ﾁﾝｺ切ってから来い｡ ﾎﾞｹ～｡
Come back after you've cut your wang off.
(東城)さようなら 歩！
Farewell, Ayumu.
Hello, Aya!
[Note: Aya Tojo is one of the heroines from Strawberry 100%, whose name, Tojo, is based off of.]
こんにちは…!! あ～!! 待て待て！
Wait! Wait! Okay! We get that you're serious!!
わかった！ ｱﾝﾀの気持は 十分 わかった!!
で？ 親父や じじいは なんて言ってんだ？
So, what does her father and grandfather have to say?
共に 自然の成り行きに任せよと…｡
They both say to let nature take its course.
若の望むようにするのが いちばん よいと…｡
The best thing to do is to let the Young Master do as she wishes.
(東城)あの お二人は 若を守るためとはいえ➡
The two of them feel responsible for making her that way, even if they did it to protect her.
あのようにしてしまったことに 責任を感じています｡
その負い目から 若に強く出られず➡
That guilt prevents them from taking a strong stand with the Young Master,
and you could say that's what caused the previous incident.
あのような騒動が 起きたともいえる…｡
ここは 私が なんとかするしかないでしょう!!
That's why I have to do something!
若が このまま 女の身でありながら 男を遠ざけ➡
If the Young Master, despite being a woman,
avoids men and only chases after women, then can she really become happy?!
女の子ばかり 追いかけていても 幸せになれると 思いますか!?
否!!
No!
I understand where you're coming from,
ただ 気持もわかりますが 幸せってのは 100人いれば➡
but a hundred people have found a hundred different ways to happiness, right?
100通り あるもんじゃないんですか？
九兵衛さんが 幸せなら➡
If Kyubei-san is happy, isn't it wrong for outsiders to make a fuss about it?
それを 外野がとやかく言うのは 間違ってませんか？
んな 余裕こいてる場合じゃ ねえんだよ～!!
There's no time for that!
(神楽)甘ちゃんは 黙ってな～!!
Keep quiet, softie!
ちょっと～!! なに すんすか～!? 神楽ちゃんまで～！
Wait a minute! Why're you hitting me, Kagura?!
Because you tick me off! It felt like the time I watched "Shaberiba"!
[Note: Shaberiba is a debate/discussion forum TV show.]
(神楽)ｲﾗｯと きたｱﾙ！ しゃべり場を 見たときと➡
同じ感情が 芽生えたｱﾙ～！
It's a race against time.
(東城)事は 一刻を争うのです！
When I was placing a Gothic Lolita costume in the Young Master's room, I found this.
ｺﾞｽﾛﾘの衣装を 仕込む折 若の部屋から こんなものが！
整形外科!?
Plastic surgery?
《もしや…！》 《工事!?
Could she be looking at...
Reconstructive surgery?!
あっ… あの 顔の下に…！》
Below that face...?!
汚れたﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの塔を 建設しようというのか!?
Is she planning to erect a filthy Tower of Babel?!
汚れたﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの塔って➡
A filthy Tower of Babel? You all have one.
お前ら 全員 生えてんだろ？
報酬なら いくらでも 払いましょう｡
I'll pay you any amount.
I'm asking you once more as a man.
男として もう一度 頼みます｡
Can I ask for your help in preventing her from erecting a Tower of Babel?
(東城)ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの塔 建設阻止｡ お手伝い 願えますか!?
…合ｺﾝを 開くぞ｡
Let's have a group date.
えっ!? 《合ｺﾝ!?》
A group date?
It's not going to be easy to change someone who's been living as a man up until now.
今まで 男として生きてきたﾔﾂを 女に変えるのは 容易じゃねえ｡
だが 女であることを 自覚させることは たやすい｡
But it may be easier to awaken her womanhood.
In other words, have her fall for a man!
《２人: つまり 男に 惚れさせる！》
ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの塔 完成を 阻止する手立ては もう それしかねえ！
That's the only way to prevent her from completing her Tower of Babel.
集めるんだ！ 男たちを！
Round up...
some men. The chosen Babel warriors!
選ばれしﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの勇者たちを!!
(桂)合ｺﾝ？ ふざけたことを ぬかすな｡
A group date? Don't be ridiculous.
見知らぬ女と 何を 話せというのだ？
What am I supposed to say to women I don't even know?
ｵﾚは 侍だぞ！ そんな ふしだらな会合➡
I'm a samurai, you know. I can't participate in such an immoral gathering.
参加するわけが あるまい！
Oh, miss! Won't you work at our club?
あっ おねえちゃん ｳﾁの店で 働かない？
You could be our Number One in no time! I mean it. I'm serious!
ｷﾐなら すぐ ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝに なれるよ！ ﾏｼﾞで！ いや ﾏｼﾞで～！
♪♪～
Come on! What're you doing?!
だから！ さっきから ﾃﾒｴは 何してんだ!!
お前だけは普通に いやらしい店に 行ってるだけだろうがっ！
You're the only one going to all these disreputable places!
何 ひと仕事しました！ みたいな顔してんだぁ!!
What's with that "I did a good job" look?
(お妙)え？ 合ｺﾝ？
Huh? A group date?
Yes. It's Gin-san's idea.
ええ… 銀さんがやろうって｡
こっちも 頭数 揃えとくから そっちも ﾍﾞｯﾋﾟﾝさん集めとけって｡
We'll put together a group on our side, so you'll need to round up some lookers.
(お妙)まぁ いやらしい｡ 人をﾀﾞｼに使うつもり？ あの人｡
My...how nasty. That man's using us as his excuse.
あの… ぜひ 九兵衛さんも｡
Kyubei-san, by all means, join us. It's a group date, but nothing nasty.
合ｺﾝっていっても そんな いやらしいもんじゃないんで｡
合ｺﾝ？ 合ｺﾝとは 合同稽古のようなものか？
A group date? Is that like a group practice?
いや 全然違います｡
No, it's completely different.
You mustn't go! You can't go!
(近藤)いけません いけませんよ！
A group date is like a bleep. It's a sex party!
合ｺﾝなんて あんなの ｢乱…ﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰ｣➡
みたいなものでしょうが！ 合体ｺﾝﾊﾟでしょうが！
いけませんよ！ 絶対に許しま…｡
You mustn't. You absolutely must not.
どこの家政婦だっ？
Who's housekeeper are you?!
Stuff yourself in the ceiling and don't come down!
ﾃﾒｴは 永遠 天井と合体してろっ!!
Kyubei, it's not like that. A group date is like a luncheon.
九兵衛さん 違いますよ｡ 合ｺﾝというのは➡
食事会みたいなもんです｡ (九兵衛)なるほど➡
I see. So we join together after the meal?
食事のあとに合体するわけだな？
That's not incorrect, but please stop that!
あながち間違ってねえけど やめてくんない？
九ちゃん 要するに 合ｺﾝというのはね➡
Kyu-chan, a group date is a fabulous opportunity to eat and run
男に ご飯をおごらせるだけ おごらせておいて➡
without doing anything after making the men treat you to as much food as you want.
何もせずに帰る ﾀﾀﾞ飯を食べられる絶好の機会よ｡
姉上 女の広辞苑をひくのは やめてください！
Sis! Stop referencing the woman's unabridged dictionary!
でも 男の人に慣れる いい機会かもしれないわ｡
But it might be a good opportunity to become familiar with men.
どう？ 九ちゃん… 行ってみる？
What do you think, Kyu-chan? Want to go?
They're late.
遅えな｡ (神楽)新八 お前➡
Shinpachi, are you sure you invited them?
ﾎﾝﾄに ちゃんと誘ったｱﾙか？ 誘いましたよ｡
I did.
そっちこそ 全然 収穫がないじゃないですか｡
You don't look like you had any success, either.
ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの勇者たちは？ 何が ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの勇者だよ？
Where are the Babel warriors?
Babel warriors, my foot!
ｵﾒｴよ… どいつもこいつも ﾉﾘの悪いやつばかりだよ｡
You and all the others don't seem very enthusiastic.
このままじゃ ｵﾚたちが あのｶﾞｷ➡
At this rate, we'll be the ones who'll have to make a move on that kid.
くどかにゃならんことに なりそうだぜ｡
Where's Tojo-san?
東城さんは？ 野郎がいたんじゃ➡
If he's around, Kyubei might read our intentions.
こっちの意図が 九兵衛に読まれかねねぇ｡
ｶﾞﾀｶﾞﾀぬかしてたが 引っ込んでもらった｡ 神楽！
He put up a fuss, but I convinced him not to come.
Kagura...
お前だけが頼りだ｡
You're our only hope.
女どもの中に潜り込んで ｵﾚたちの評判を上げろ｡
Mix in among the women and find out how much they like us.
教えただろ？ 一緒に化粧室へ行って…｡
Remember what I taught you? You go with them to the ladies room and...
ねぇねぇ どの人 気に入った？
Tell me, tell me... Which guy do you like?
私 あの銀髪！ あの天然ﾊﾟｰﾏ かわい～い～！
For me it's that silver-haired guy. With the naturally wavy hair. He's cute.
違う違う！ かわうぃ～うぃ～！
No, no. He's cuuute.
か～わうぃ～ん｡
He's kyuuute.
違う… かわうぃ… ぐっ ｹﾞﾎｹﾞﾎ！
No, it's cuute...
ｶﾌｪｵﾚ 変なとこ入った｡ (神楽)か～わうぃ… ｹﾞﾎﾞｶﾞﾎﾞ…｡
My café au lait went down the wrong pipe.
Kwuute...
(桂)違うと言ったはずだ！ さっき教えただろう｡
That's not right. Didn't I just teach you?
もっかい 合わせるぞ｡ はい せぇの！
Let's try that again. Ready...
♪♪～
If you're gonna do it, do it now. Zura.
♪♪～
If you're gonna do it, do it now Zura.
Joi is Joy!
[Note: Joi is another word for Anti-Foreigner Faction.]
Joy is Joi.
はい そこで復唱！
Now the chorus!
[Joi is...]
No! Sing it! Don't sign it!
違う！ しゃべれや！ ｻｲﾝじゃなくて!!
お前 ﾎﾝﾄは ｵﾚのいないところで➡
I know you talk a lot when I'm not around!
ﾍﾞﾗﾍﾞﾗしゃべってんの 知ってんだからな！ ｵﾚ！
じゃ もっかいな！ ﾊｲ JOY！ JOY～!!
Okay, one more time.
Okay...Joy!
Joy!
Oh.
あ…｡ あ… じゃねえよ｡ 何してんだ お前 こんなとこで！
Not "oh." What're you doing here?
いや ちがうぞ｡ 合ｺﾝとか関係ないぞ｡
You've got it all wrong. This has nothing to do with the group date.
ﾗｯﾌﾟで 攘夷の布教活動を…｡
I was trying to promote the Anti-Foreigner Faction via rap.
うるせぇっ！ ﾃﾒｴ 人の誘い断っといて
Shut up! You turned down my invitation and are having a great time!
ﾉﾘﾉﾘじゃねえか！ なんで よりによって➡
Why'd you choose rap, of all things?
ﾗｯﾌﾟをﾁｮｲｽしてんだよ？ 意味がわかんねえよ！
I don't get the significance. Go kick the bucket.
何なんだ？ お前 くたばれよ｡ 頼むから くたばってくれよ！
I beg you-kick the bucket.
ﾗｯﾌﾟじゃない ｶﾂﾗｯﾌﾟだYO！ ｶﾂﾗｯﾌﾟじゃねえよ お前！
It's not rap, it's Katsurap, yo.
[Note: Spoof of Sakurap. Rap by Sakurai from the boys band, Arashi.]
Katsurap my ass. I'll wrap you until you suffocate to death.
ﾗｯﾌﾟに包んで 窒息させてやろうか！
(さっちゃん)だから 違う って言ってるでしょ！
I keep telling you, I'm not!
あなたと一緒にしないでよ｡ 私は あなたと違うの｡
Don't put me in with you. I'm not like you.
ｽﾄｰｶｰだよ お前も！ 立派なｽﾄｰｶｰ!!
You're a stalker, too! A stalker, all right! I'm not.
ま ｵﾚは違うけどね！
I'm always watching over Gin-san!
私は 常に 銀さんを見守っているの｡
もう 妖精なの ﾃｨﾝｶｰﾍﾞﾙ的な！
I'm a fairy-like Tinker Bell! You're a specter-an idiot dick of a specter!
あなた 妖怪じゃない｡ 妖怪ﾁﾝｺｰﾊﾞｶじゃない！
妖精だよ ｵﾚだって！ いや 妖精は お妙さん｡
I'm a fairy, too! No, I mean Otae-san is a fairy! I'm her Peter Pan!
ｵﾚは 彼女の ﾋﾟｰﾀｰﾊﾟﾝさっ！
違うわよ！ 腐ったﾊﾟﾝよ！
No, you're Putrid Pan!
[Note: Word play on Peter Pan and "pan" the Japanese word for bread.]
No! Peter's Pan!
違えぇぇっ!! ﾋﾟｰﾀｰのﾊﾟﾝだ…！
That's just an ordinary pan!
って～！ それ もう ただの ﾊﾟﾝだろうがぁ！
お～い 誰だぁ？ このﾊﾞｶども 連れてきたの！
Hey! Who's responsible?!
Who brought this idiot here? I really want to go home.
激しく帰りてえよ｡ なんで 皮ｼﾞｬﾝやぶいて➡
Why're you wearing a torn leather jacket on your shoulders?
羽織ってんだよ？ 暑いのか寒いのか➡
Are you hot, or are you cold? Make up your mind.
はっきりしろよ！ 銀さん！ 私には つっこんでくれないの？
Gin-san, aren't you going to say anything to me? Are you ignoring me?
無視なの？ あぁ いいんじゃない？ かわいい｡
Sure. You look fine. Cute.
(桂)あ… 皮ｼﾞｬﾝ 落ちましたよ｡
You dropped your leather jacket.
(近藤)あぁ すいません｡
Oh, thank you.
なあぁぁぁっ!! (ほら貝)
What the?
ﾋﾋ～ﾝ!! (２人)どわぁっ!!
She's here!
来た～っ!! つうか どこの独眼竜!?
Why're you dressed like the One-Eyed Dragon?!
[Note: Reference to Dokuganryu Masamune, a famous warrior.]
すまない 遅れた｡ 妙ちゃんに 合ｺﾝとは➡
Sorry I'm late.
Tae-chan said a group date is like a battle between men and women.
男と女の合戦だと 聞いていたのでな｡
一応 用心してきた｡
So I came prepared.
《男と女で 何するつもりだよ？》
What is she expecting the men and women to do?
《ｺｲﾂ 全然 合ｺﾝ わかってねえよ》
She really has no idea what a group date is.
(お妙)もう九ちゃんたら 大げさなんだから｡
Oh, Kyu-chan, you go so overboard. I didn't mean it like that.
私は そういう意味で 言ったんじゃないわよ｡
ごめんなさい 遅れちゃって｡ もう 銀さんたら➡
I'm sorry I'm late.
I had a tough time, Gin-san, because you said to bring some cute ones.
かわいい子 連れてこいなんて 言うから 大変だったんですよ｡
ねっ みんな｡ (毒島)あれ～ 何ちょっと｡
Right, girls?
Huh? Just a minute. Aren't we missing the cute guys?
あんまり かっこいい男 いなくね？
Come on, Otae-chan.
(毒川)いやだ お妙ちゃん ｲｹﾒﾝいるって言ったじゃん｡
You said there'd be some handsome ones.
(２人)ごっ…！
《別の意味で武装しているぅ！
They're fully armored, but in another sense!
雑兵で 周りを 完全に固めているぅ！》
She's got us completely surrounded by foot soldiers!
《ぞっ 雑兵どころじゃねえ…｡
They're worse than foot soldiers. They're...
あれは 死兵だ！
zombies soldiers!
決して 自分より かわいい子は連れてこない｡
You never bring anyone cuter than yourself.
むしろ 自分を引き立たせるための 死兵として使う！
Use zombies to make you stand out! A strategist...she's a strategist!
策士！ 策士だ!!》 ｳﾌ｡
Looks like we're the ones who didn't know how frightening a group date could be.
《合ｺﾝ… その恐ろしさを わかっていないのは➡
ﾎﾞｸらのほうだった…｡
We are, without a doubt, on a battlefield!
そのとき ﾎﾞｸらは 紛れもなく 戦場にいた》
《東城: １月11日… 今日も麗しの若は➡
January 11.
Today, as always, the proper Young Master is noble, dignified and lovely.
気高く 凛々しく 美しい｡
The Babel warriors stand to fight over a single young woman.
１人の少女の存在を懸け 立ち上がった➡
ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの勇者たち… しかし➡
However, their destination...
彼らの行く先… 汚れしﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙは➡
The filthy Babel appeared much too tall.
あまりにも高く見えた｡
果たして 彼らﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの勇者たちは どうなってしまうのか｡
What will become of the Babel warriors?
その結末は ＣＭのあと！
The outcome, after the commercial.
あれ？ これ もう 日記じゃなくね？
Huh? Wasn't this a journal?
とりあえず私は ｶｰﾃﾝのｼｬｰのﾔﾂが➡
Anyway, as for me,
I remembered about the curtain rail for the curtain and headed for Loft.
ｱﾚなのを思い出して ﾛﾌﾄに向かった》
♪♪～
(仲居)今宵は 屋形船 大和屋を➡
Thank you for choosing our Yamatoya houseboat today.
ご利用いただき ありがとうございます｡
特別ｺｰｽでは 空からの夜景も 見られるんですよ｡
On our special course, you will be able to enjoy the view from up in the sky.
どうですか？ 皆さん 空で仮装ﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰというのも➡
What do you think, everyone?
Isn't a costume party in the sky quite something?
なかなか ｵﾂですよ｡
You got it wrong.
違います 合ｺﾝです｡
This is a group date.
Here's what happened in the first half.
＜前半のあらすじ… 女として生まれながら➡
Kyubei, an unfortunate child, was born a woman, but raised as a man.
男として育てられた悲運の娘 九兵衛｡
その世話役 東城 歩から もたらされた➡
Her steward, Ayumu Tojo brought news of Kyubei's frightening plan,
九兵衛の恐るべき計画 ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの塔建造➡
the building of the Tower of Babel,
ｶｯｺ ﾁﾝｺをつける ｶｯｺ閉じ…｡
open parentheses attaching a penis close parentheses.
In order to prevent this, the Babel warriors,
これを阻止するため立ち上がった ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの勇者たち｡
ｶｯｺ ﾁﾝｺの勇者たち は 九兵衛の女性の性を➡
open parentheses warriors with penises close parentheses
rallied together in an effort to reawaken Kyubei's female sexuality and organized a group date.
呼び覚まそうと 合ｺﾝを企画する｡
集まった勇者たちは➡
The men who gathered for the event were already injured parentheses stupid in the head close parentheses.
すでに手負い ｶｯｺ 頭に であった｡
In addition, more women, other than Kyubei, gathered.
おまけに 九兵衛の他にも 続々と女性が集まり…｡
果たして ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの勇者たちは 九兵衛の…を➡
Can the Babel warriors protect Kyubei's (beep)?
守ることができるのか？
And the fate of the Earth...who cares?
そして 地球の命運は どうでもいい！
今 男たちの最後の聖戦が 始まろうとしている＞
Right now, the final holy battle for the men is about to begin!
It's so oppressive...
《おっ… 重てえ！
What is this oppressive mood?
なに？ この重い空気｡
Gin-san, why won't anyone talk?
銀さん なぜ 誰も しゃべらないんですか？
Aren't they even going to introduce themselves? Is it okay if I start?
自己紹介とか 誰もふらないんですか？
ﾎﾞｸがふってもいいんですか？》
Don't make a thoughtless move!
《軽はずみに動くな！ 確かに ここは男がﾘｰﾄﾞするのが➡
While the men should certainly take the lead here, if you do...
しぜんだが 仮にここで…》
((じゃあ 見知った顔も多いけど➡
Okay, there are a lot of familiar faces, so let's start with self-introductions.
ここは ﾍﾞﾀに自己紹介から 始めましょうか))
《…などと切り出してみろ！
If you start things like that, you'll end up in charge of the party, whether you want to be or not.
以後 お前が 嫌が応にも 幹事役を担うことになる｡
みんなが楽しく しゃべっているときも…》
Even when everyone is enjoying the conversation...
Okay, the second party will be karaoke.
((近藤:じゃあ２次会はｶﾗｵｹで！ ﾎﾞｸ 予約してきます))
I'll make the reservation.
《はい 参加できない｡
No, you can't join in.
九兵衛を口説くﾀｲﾐﾝｸﾞは 永遠に失われる｡
Or else the opportunity to woo Kyubei will be forever lost.
ここは耐えろ… 必ず 沈黙に耐えられず➡
Bear it for now.
Someone will always start things because he's unable to bear the silence.
動き出すﾔﾂがいるはずだ！》
But Gin-san this uncomfortable silence to a helpful guy like me is...unbearable.
《しかし銀さん… この気まずい沈黙は➡
気ぃ遣いのﾎﾞｸには… うぅっ…｡
耐えられない！》 《気をしっかりもて！
Be strong! You're not the only one suffering.
苦しいのは ﾃﾒｴだけじゃねえんだ！》
Somebody talk!
《誰かしゃべれ！》 《ｵﾚは幹事はｲﾔだ！
I don't want to be in charge of the party! Please... I'll give you 300 yen!
頼む！ 300円あげるから!!》
すまない… ちょっと 伺いたいことがある｡
Excuse me.
There's something I'd like to ask you.
《ﾂﾞﾗ！ すまねえ… 損な役回りをやってくれるか！
Zura!
Thank you. So you'll accept the thankless job?
自己紹介でも何でもいい 早く切り出してくれ！》
A self-introduction or anything will do-just get things rolling.
ｵﾚは… いったい誰なんだ？
Who in the world am I?
《自己紹介どころか 自分の存在を問いだしたぞ！》
He's not introducing himself-he's questioning his existence!
先刻から記憶がない…｡
I have no memory since a few hours ago.
Why am in a place like this? Where is this place?
なぜ ｵﾚは こんなところにいるんだ？
ここはどこだ？ 《知らねえよ！
How would I know? Why are you here, anyways?
なんでﾃﾒｴ ここにいるんだよ！》
["A horse stepped on you earlier so probably since then..."]
I vaguely remember...I was doing a rap or something, but that's all I can recall.
そうか… なんか ﾗｯﾌﾟをやっていたことしか➡
思い出せん… ていうか なんだ？ この化け物は？
What is this freakish creature?
実はｵﾚもだ｡
The truth is, I'm just like you.
All I can remember is cutting the front of my leather jacket.
革ｼﾞｬﾝの腕の部分を 切ってたことしか思い出せん｡
ｵﾚは誰だ？ たしか…➡
Who am I?
I seem to remember...I had something to do with protecting the peace on Earth.
地球の平和を守る 何かだった気がする｡
Don't go making up memories on your own.
《勝手に記憶 捏造してんじゃねえよ！》
What a coincidence.
奇遇ですね！ ｵﾚも 地球の平和を➡
I, too, have a feeling that I was protecting the peace on Earth.
守ってた気がします｡ あなたもですか！
You, too? We seem to get along.
気が合いますね！ 《奇遇じゃねえよ！
Coincidence not! You two are enemies!
つうか ﾃﾒｴら 敵同士だっつうの！》
ひょっとして 仲間だったんじゃないですか？
Maybe we worked together.
そういや 初めて会った気がしない｡
Come to think of it, it doesn't feel like we've just met for the first time.
長い間 追い続けてた気がする｡
I feel as though I've been following you for quite some time.
Hey, hey. Looks like this discussion among guys who lost their memories is heating up.
《おいおい！ なんか男同士で➡
記憶喪失談議が 盛り上がってきちまったぞ！》
《まずいです 銀さん！ 女の子たちも 女の子たちで➡
This isn't good, Gin-san. The women have begun talking amongst themselves.
勝手に話 し始めちゃってます！》
This has turned into a situation where the men and women have completely split up
《これは… 男子女子 完全に２つに分かれ➡
別々に楽しむ空気が できてしまっている！
and are separately having their own good times.
まずい… これは もう 合ｺﾝじゃねえ！
This is bad.
This is no longer a group date.
小学生の給食時間だ！
It's lunchtime in grade school.
机が合わされているとはいえ➡
The desks are put together, but there is no conversation between the two groups.
両者の言葉が交わされることは 決してない！
机の間に開いた亀裂は ﾏﾘｱﾅ海溝より深い！》
The gaps between the desks are deeper than the Mariana Trench.
《銀さん！ このままじゃﾎﾞｸたち➡
Gin-san! If this continues, we'll never be able to go over to the other side!
二度と向こうへ渡れなくなります｡
早く何とかしないと… 銀さん！》
We have to quickly do something.
Gin-san!
Kyu-chan, that's not good.
九ちゃん ﾀﾞﾒよ…｡
You've left all your mushrooms.
そんな ｷﾉｺばかり残して…｡
(九兵衛)どうも苦手だ… 形が なんか気持悪い…｡
I don't like them. Their shape makes me feel sick.
《これは…！》
That's!
Hey.
おい！
よこせよ ｷﾉｺ｡
Give me those mushrooms.
もったいねえだろ 食べてやるよ よこせ｡
So wasteful! I'll eat them. Give them to me.
《とっ… 飛んだ！
He jumped!
He's the only one who can cross the gap between the desks without a second thought!
あれは 机の亀裂をものともせず➡
自由に行き来できる 唯一無二の存在… ｶﾞｷ大将だ！
The school boss!
その野蛮な振る舞いは 男子女子 見境なく➡
His vulgar behavior rains down on both the boys and girls without discrimination.
嵐のごとく降り注ぐ！ しかし➡
His crude kindness shines like sunlight on both the boys and the girls.
その ぶっきらぼうな優しさも また男子女子 関係なく➡
太陽の光のごとく注がれる！》
ほら 早く！ ｾﾝｺｰに気づかれんだろ｡
C'mon, hurry. The teacher will see you.
すまん｡
Thanks.
《亀裂がみるみる 塞がっていく》
The gap closes...
before their very eyes..
箸渡しはいけません！
You shouldn't pass food between chopsticks!
[Note: There is a Japanese superstition regarding passing something to another person using chopsticks. This is because such practice is only used when picking up cremated bones.]
なっ！
Wha....
What?! That gap was closing, but now it's...
《なにぃ!? 閉じかけた亀裂が！
あっ あれは… 委員長！
That's...
The class president!
ｶﾞｷ大将を唯一 抑止できる存在 学級委員長だ！》
The only one who can control the class boss...the class president!
(お妙)行儀が悪いわよ ２人とも｡
That's very poor manners, you two.
《ｱﾝﾀのほうが よっぽど行儀悪いよ！
You're way worse!
しかし まずい！ さすがのｶﾞｷ大将も➡
But this is bad.
Even the class boss can't hold his ground against Otae-chan,
委員長兼 剣道部主将の才色兼備 お妙ちゃんには ﾀｼﾞﾀｼﾞだ！
the class president and captain of the kendo club with her skills and good looks.
せっかく近づきかけたｸｰﾙﾎﾞｰｲｯｼｭ 転校生 柳生さんの心が➡
He was just about to befriend the cool, boyish transfer student,
Yagyu-san, but now Yagyu-san's heart has drifted away!
また離れていく！ このままでは…》
At this rate...!
(ﾌﾞｻｲｸｼｽﾀｰｽﾞ)ﾋｭｰﾋｭｰ！ 《あれは！》
They're...!
(毒島)お熱いわね！ ひょっとして お妙ちゃん ﾔｷﾓﾁ？
Things are heating up.
Could it be you're jealous, Otae-chan?
《ﾌﾞｻｲｸｼｽﾀｰｽﾞ！
The Ugly Sisters!
人一倍 色恋に興味があるくせに 人一倍 縁がないため➡
They're a group of she-leopards who have twice the interest in love, but half the opportunities.
他人の色恋に首を突っ込み➡
So they go around sticking their noses into everyone's love affairs and messing them up.
片っ端から 引っ掻き回す女豹軍団》
お妙ちゃんって こんなのが趣味なんだ？
So is this your type, Otae-chan?
違うわよ そんなんじゃないんだってば！
No. That's not what this is about.
《まずい… 恋愛に疎い委員長に このﾌﾟﾚｯｼｬｰは耐えられない！
This is bad.
The class president is out of touch when it comes to love. Can she handle the pressure?
席が離れる！ 男と女の谷が!!
The desks are moving apart!
The chasm between the boys and girls is growing larger!
ここは ﾎﾞｸがいくしかない！ もうｹﾝｶでもいい!!
There's no other way-I have to do this. Even if it means a fight.
とにかく話を続けなければ！》
They must continue talking.
いいかげんにしろよ 女子！ そんなこと言ってさ➡
That's enough, girls! That's what you all say.
But the truth is, you all like Gin-san, don't you?!
ﾎﾝﾄは お前ら 銀さんのこと 好きなんじゃねえの!?
そんなんじゃ… ないわよ｡
That's...
not true.
《うおぉ～ 最悪だ！ お前 どさくさに紛れて➡
This is the pits! What terrible fact did you dig up in all this confusion?!
なに とんでもない事実 発掘してんだ～!?》
待て… ｵﾚは あの 片目のﾔﾂを狙っててな｡
Wait...I was...after the one with one eye...
(さっちゃん)あぁ～っ！ ｱｲﾀﾀ…｡
Oh!
Ouch. There you are.
いっけね～！ 本の角に ﾒｶﾞﾈぶつけちゃった!!
Oops, I banged my glasses on my book.
あぁ 目が…｡ 《あれは ﾄﾞｼﾞｯ娘 図書委員！
That's...the bumbling librarian!
図書室に保健体育の本を 読みにくるｶﾞｷ大将を➡
The bumbling woman who always watched the class boss
reading health and phys ed books from the shadows of the library.
陰から ずっと見ていたﾄﾞｼﾞｯ娘｡
いや ﾏｿﾞｯ娘 図書委員だ～！》
She's the masochistic librarian!
ん？ なんか私の話してなかった？
Huh? Were you talking about me?
《しまった！ もっと絞り込んで 片目で黒髪とか…》
Oh no! I should've been more specific-one eye with black hair.
(近藤)どうだ！ いいんじゃないか ﾛｯｸっぽくって｡
Well?
Looks good. Like a rocker.
じゃあ 一度 音 合わせてみるか｡
Shall we try it together then?
《女そっちのけで 何やってんだ!?》
What're you doing-ignoring the women?!
(近藤)たぶん ｵﾚたち こうしてﾗｯﾌﾟとﾛｯｸを融合して➡
We were probably blending rap and rock to sing for peace on Earth.
地球平和を訴えていたと思うんだ｡
(桂)お上も革命家も あてにならん｡
We can't rely on the government or revolutionaries.
We have to win true peace through song.
真の平和は ﾐｭｰｼﾞｯｸで勝ち取るものだ！
《警察と攘夷志士が なに言ってんだ!?》
What're a police officer and the Anti-Foreigner Faction leader talking about?!
(桂)ﾍｲ！ ﾜﾝﾂｰ ｻﾝｼｰ!!
One, two, three, four...
♪♪｢やるなら 今しかねえ｣ (ｷﾞﾀｰ)
If you're gonna do it, do it now. Zura.
♪♪｢やるなら 今しかねえ｣ (ｷﾞﾀｰ)
If you're gonna do it, do it now. Zura.
♪♪｢攘夷がJOY JOYが攘夷｣ (ｷﾞﾀｰ)
Joi is Joy. Joy is Joi.
♪♪｢ふざけたYOUに ｵﾚが天誅｣
Divine punishment comes to kill you!
ちょっと待て！ ねぇ 待って!!
Just a minute! Wait.
I don't get it! It's hard to play along. What's this with Anti-Foreigner Faction?
わかんない！ 合わせづらい!! っつうかJOYって何!?
I don't know why, but I'm tearing up.
《なんか わかんないけど 涙 出てきた》
(騒ぎ声)
《こ… これは…｡
Wh-What's this?
長年 ｹﾝｶしてきたけど 殴り合って分かり合い➡
They've fought for years, punched each other out,
野球ﾎﾞｰﾙで ｻｯｶｰする 野球部とｻｯｶｰ部の主将だ！》
and understood each other, playing soccer with a baseball.
The captains of the baseball and soccer teams.
だから 天誅じゃなくて➡
That's why I'm telling you "Official police bust" is better than "Divine punishment"!
｢御用改めである｣ のほうがいいって!!
That's too long! How am I supposed to sing to "Official police bust"?!
長すぎるだろうが！ ｢御用改めである｣って➡
どうやって 韻ふむつもりだ！ (近藤)｢御用改めである｣!!
Official police bust!
(桂)天誅！ (近藤)｢御用改めである｣!!
Divine punishment!
Official police bust!
Divine punishment!
(桂)天誅！ (近藤)｢御用改めである｣!!
Official police bust!
Divine punishment!
(桂)天誅！ (近藤)｢御用改めである｣!!
Official police bust!
Divine punishment!
Official police bust!
Divine punishment!
(近藤)｢御用改めである｣!! (桂)天誅！
Official police bust!
Divine punishment!
(悲鳴)
《船が～!!》
The boat!
(東城)申し訳ありませんが しばしの間➡
Forgive me, but I'll need you to behave yourselves for a bit.
おとなしくしていてください｡
(東城)恐ろしい体験を ともにした男女は➡
They say a man and a woman who share a frightening experience often fall in love.
恋に落ちることが多いとか…｡
恐怖によって激しくなった心音を ﾄｷﾒｷと勘違いするようです｡
They mistake the violent pounding of their fearful hearts for the throbbing heart of affection.
(東城)若～！
Young Master!
私は絶対に ﾊﾞﾍﾞﾙの塔など 認めませぬぞ～！
I will never allow you to build a Tower of Babel!
あぁ～ 死ぬ～！
We're going to die!
何ですか？ これは！ 事故なの？
What's going on? Did we get into an accident?!
Hey, that's...!
おい あれを！
あっ 九兵衛さん！
Kyubei-san!!
We have to save her! But how?
助けにいかなきゃ！ でも あんなの どうやって…｡
ぱっつぁんよ… 女なんざ ﾋﾞｼｯと決めるとこ決めりゃ➡
Pachi-san! When a woman makes up her mind, she can fall for someone just like that!
ｺﾛｯと落ちるもんだぜ！ いってこい!!
So go!
って ﾎﾞｸ ﾑﾘ！ ﾑﾘです!!
Me?! No way! No way!
ｵﾚもﾑﾘだよ ﾊﾞｶ野郎！
There's no way I can do it either, stupid!
(近藤)桂～！
I've got to try!
こうなったら やるしかねえ！
九兵衛～!!
Kyubei!
I'm coming to save you! Hold on a bit longer!
今 助ける！ あと ちょっと踏ん張れ!!
ﾀﾞﾒだ！ ﾎﾞｸは 男に触れられると…｡
No! I can't stand to be touched by a man!
[Note: Kyubei has an involuntary violent reaction when a man touches her.]
んなこと言ってる場合じゃね～！
This is no time to be saying that!
うわあぁぁ～！
うおっ！
《この男 自分が 投げられながらも ﾎﾞｸを…》
This man! He tried to save me, even as he was being thrown off...
♪♪～
触れたじゃねえか！
You touched me.
ﾑﾁｬなことを…｡
That was rash! Did you believe I would extend my hand?
ﾎﾞｸが手を伸ばすと信じてたのか？
こうでもしねえと 触れそうになかったんでな｡
I didn't think you'd touch a man unless I did something like this.
ﾑﾁｬして損したぜ！
I thought I went through a lot of trouble for nothing.
なんてことはねえ… ただの女のきれいな手だ｡
But no...this is a lovely woman's hand.
♪♪～
[Gothic Lolita Kimono Specialty Store]
(東城)こっちだったのか…｡
So this is what you were looking at.
若… 一生 ついていきます｡
Young Master, I will be with you forever.
[Preview]
The next episode...
Hey! What is this?! It's pitch dark!
Hey!
[Gintoki suddenly finds himself plunged into darkness.]
[What is this place? Next time: "What Happens Twice, Happens Thrice."]
Anti-Foreigner Faction is Joy. Lyrics and music by DJ. Ozura