[Starting this New Year's on, thank you for all the "cheering" cards.]
[Viewer comments are very important. By the way, why is the background all black?]
["What Happens Twice, Happens Thrice"]
(神楽)あれ？ 何あるか？ これ｡
Huh? What's this...? The sky is all black...
(神楽)空が 真っ暗ｱﾙ｡
《神楽:あれ？ 真っ暗なのは 私ｱﾙ…｡
Huh? I'm the one all black...
あれ？ こんなん 前も なかったｱﾙか？
Huh? Has something like this happened before? Huh?
あれ？》
Wake up.
(洞爺湖)目覚めよ…｡
Your hidden power... The time to awaken it has finally come.
(洞爺湖)秘めし 内なる力… 解放するときが ついに来たのだ！
そっと 開くのだ… その 目を！
Open...your eyes...to the gateway of your true potential...
その 閉じられた限界への扉を！
目覚めよ！
Wake up...
(銀時)…はっ！
あれ？ どこだ？ ここ…｡ (新八)おはようございます｡
Huh? Where are we?
Good morning. What's this? Where are we?
なんですか？ これ｡ どこなんですか？ これ…｡
なんですか？ って これ… 知らねえよ～！
"What's this"? I don't know. When I woke up this morning, I was in this place.
朝 起きたら いきなり こんなところにだな…｡
Is there a power outage?
停電ｱﾙか？
Even if it's a power outage, I can see you all very clearly.
停電にしちゃあ みんなの姿だけ はっきり 見えるよね～？
It's a strange dusty place. I'm covered with dust.
妙に ﾎｺﾘっぽいところｱﾙ｡ 体じゅう ﾎｺﾘまみれ｡
(咳込む声)
Whatever! I have a hangover, you know.
なんだってんだよ…｡ ｵﾚ 二日酔いで 頭 痛えんだよ…｡
あ～あ！
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go back to sleep. Shinpachi, heat the bathwater.
悪いけど 二度寝させてもらうわ｡
新八… 風呂 沸かしておけよ｡
いや ちょっと 銀さん｡ 風呂 ないんですけど…！
No, wait, Gin-san. There's no bath.
Shinpachi, cook some food.
新八 ﾒｼ 作っておけよ～｡
Today is your turn to cook, Kagura-chan!
今日 当番 神楽ちゃんでしょう！
(寝息)
何なんだろう？ 夢かな…？
Whatever! I wonder if this is all a dream...
I'll go back sleep, too.
ﾎﾞｸも 寝よう｡
(洞爺湖)目覚めよ！
Wake up... Your hidden power... The time to awaken it has finally come.
秘めし 内なる力… 解放するときが ついに来たのだ！
うるせえな！ 誰だ!? 妙な目覚まし かけたの！
Shut up. Who set the weird alarm?
This is the time to wake up.
(洞爺湖)目覚めのときは 今だ！ (神楽)まだ ８時だろうが！
It's still eight in the morning! Let me sleep two more hours at least, idiot.
(神楽)あと ２時間は寝かせろ ﾊﾞｶ野郎！
No, well...it's not an alarm...
(洞爺湖)いや… あの… 目覚ましじゃなくて…｡
神楽ちゃん はぎしり うるさい！ (はぎしり)
Kagura-chan, you're grinding your teeth too loud!
Excuse me, but please listen to me. Um... Well, wake up!
(洞爺湖)すいません ちょっと 聞いてくれる？
あの… 目覚めよ！ すいません 目覚めてください！
Excuse me, please wake up! Excuse me, please listen! Everyone!
すいません 聞いてください！ 皆さ～ん!!
あぁぁぁぁ…!!
I said wake up already!
(洞爺湖) 目覚めろっつってんだろ～！
Cut it out!
いいかげんにしろ～!!
How could you fall back to sleep in another world?!
なんで 異空間で 二度寝!? 少しは 空気 読め！
You must've read it in the atmosphere!
(洞爺湖)なんか いつもと違う感じくらい➡
Didn't you notice that it's not quite normal, you idiots?!
わかるだろうが！ ﾊﾞｶ者ども～!! うわ～っ!!
銀さん…！ 銀さん 起きてください！
Gin-san! Gin-san, please wake up.
なんだよ… うるせえなぁ…｡
What the...? Geez, shut up.
何か 変な人が…！
There's a strange man...
ようやく 目覚めたか…｡
You finally woke up.
ようこそ 我が 世界へ｡
Welcome to my world. Finally, the time for you to awaken has arrived.
なんじら ついに 目覚めしときが 来たのだ…｡
Huh? Who are you?
あん？ 誰ですか？ ｱﾝﾀ｡
Don't you know, Gintoki?
わからぬか？ 銀時…｡
I'm with you all the time.
我は 常に なんじと ともにあり｡
I'm your blade, which you've used to overcome many hardships.
幾多の苦難を 振り払ってきた なんじの刃…｡
[Toya]
My name is...Lake Toya!
[Note: Spoof of Zangetsu from BLEACH.]
我が名は… 洞爺湖！
…洞爺湖の 仙人？
The spirit of Lake Toya?
ﾌｯ… まぁ そういう呼び方でも いい｡
Well, you can call me that, too.
Gintoki, as I am the closest to you, I know...that you're strong...
(洞爺湖)銀時… 誰よりも 近くにいた私は 知っている｡
お前は 強い！
No one in history has been able to use me like you do. But...but...
かつて 私を これほどまでに 使いこなした者は いない！
だが！ だが しかし！
It's still not enough! You can still become stronger!
まだだ！ まだ お前は 強くなれる！
You haven't tapped my full power yet!
まだ お前は 私の力を 限界まで 引き出してはいない！
強くなりたいか？ 銀時…｡
Do you want to become stronger, Gintoki?
No, I'm not interested.
いや… いいです｡
あれ？ えぇ～？ 今 なんて言った？
...Huh? Eh? What did you just say?
Well... You're so annoying. I'm sorry. My head really hurts, so sorry...
いや～ もう うるさい！ すいません…➡
ﾎﾝﾄ もう 頭 痛いんで ちょ… すいません…｡
えっ… いや… だって… えっ…？
Huh? No, but... What?
The show is past its second year, so isn't it about time to develop an ultimate technique?
２年目も 結構 経ったし 必殺技とか…➡
なんか そろそろ あったほうが いいのではないか？
私が言うのも なんだが かなり 便利だぞ｡
If I do say so myself, it's really useful. Let me teach it to you.
ｷﾐら２人にも 教えてやろう｡
すいませ～ん！ ﾎﾞｸらは 今日 定休日なんです｡
Excuse me, but today is our regular day off, so can we go home?
そろそろ 帰してもらえます？
No...well...it's far more useful than you think.
いや… ｷﾐが 思ってるよりも かなり 使えるぞ｡
If you learn it, you'll be able to use it repeatedly. And it'll help the anime artists, too.
一度 作れば 何度も使い回せるし 作画班も 大助かり！
And, most of all, you'll easily be able to make a big scene...
それより 何より 簡単に 見せ場を作ることが…！
(神楽)うるせえんだよ ｸｿじじい!!
Shut up, you bastard! Just return us to our world right now!
いいから 早く 元の世界に 帰すｱﾙ！
...I see... Well, it's fine with me if you don't want to...
あぁ… そう…｡
いや… いいなら いいんだけどね 別に…｡
Really... It's not like I was asked to do it, anyway...
こっちも 頼まれたわけじゃないし…｡
う～ん… 勝手に ｷﾐら呼んだだけだし…｡
Well... I just called you on my own... I'm sorry for making a mess...
すいませんでしたね… なんか よけいなことをして…｡
ただ 言っとくけど あとで➡
But let me just tell you...
...If you ask me to teach you the ultimate technique later, it'll be too late.
必殺技 教えてくれって言っても 遅いから｡
This is a one-time only offer. I definitely won't teach it to you later.
これ 今回かぎりだから｡ 絶対 もう 教えねえから！
あ～あ… 正月大放出だったのに… もったいないな～！
Ah, it's like a New Year's bargain. It's a shame to miss out.
Zenkai or Fuusenmaru is really useful...
[Note: Zenkai and Fuusenmaru are from BLEACH.]
全解！ とか 風戦丸！ とか かなり 使えるんだけどな～｡
な～…｡
You know...
Just say, "please teach it to us"!
っつうか 教えてくれ って 言えよ～!!
You don't need an ultimate technique? Don't you have any ambition?!
(洞爺湖)必殺技 いらないって どんだけ 向上心ねえんだ ﾃﾒｴら!!
(洞爺湖)なんで 仙人の前で 三度寝～!?
Why are you sleeping for the third time in front of a spirit?!
Even on your day off, you hardly ever fall back to sleep three times!
(洞爺湖)よっぽど ゆるい休日でも 三度寝は なかなか しないよ～!!
おい！ 起きろ！ ｺﾗ～!!
Hey! Wake up, you guys!
いいかげんにしろよ！
That's enough! If you don't wake up within three seconds, I'll kick you in the thigh!
今から ３秒以内に起きなかったら ももに 蹴り ﾊﾟｰﾝ入れてくから！
Seriously! I'll really do it! You won't be able to walk!
ﾏｼﾞだから！ いや ﾏｼﾞで 仙人いくから！
歩けなくなるよ～！ ﾏｼﾞ～!!
Here we go! One... Hey, hey, the countdown to hell has just started.
(洞爺湖)はい！ ｲ～ﾁ！
ほらほら… 地獄へのｶｳﾝﾄﾀﾞｳﾝが 始まったよ！
あっ 怖～！ はい ﾆ～ｲ！
Ah, it's so scary! And two! Ah, there's only one second left!
あ～っ！ あと １秒しか ないよ～!!
I'm counting! Really! And three!
いっちゃうよ！ 仙人 ﾏｼﾞ いっちゃうよ～!!
仙人！ はい！ ｻ～ﾝ…!! うらうら うらうら～！
Come on! I'm making an announcement! An announcement!
言っちゃうよ 言うよ！ ５秒にしてやろうか！
Let me give you five more seconds!
特別ﾙｰﾙで ５秒に…｡
It's a special rule that gives you another five seconds...
(２人)うるせぇぇっ!!
Shut up!
ぐおっ…｡ なんなんだよ？ ﾃﾒｴは｡
What's with you?! Tell us straight...exactly what are you trying to do?
ｽﾞﾊﾞﾘ 何がしたいんだよ？
ｽﾞﾊﾞﾘ なかなか やるではないか｡
I'll tell it to you straight.
仙人である 私の足を封じるとは｡
You're not too bad if you can hurt a spirit's legs... But you're still too green.
だが まだ甘い… お前たちは まだ強くなれる｡
You'll be able to get stronger.
ずばり 仙人を涙目にするくらい 強くなれたんで➡
I'll tell it to you straight...we became strong enough to make a spirit's eyes tear up, so that's enough for us.
もう十分です｡ 帰らせてください｡
Please let us return home.
必殺技を覚えれば 涙目どころか 目 鼻 口…➡
If you learn the ultimate technique, you'll be able to not only affect the eyes,
but also the nose and mouth.
体中のいたる穴から ｽﾞﾊﾞﾘ 体液を 吹き出させることも可能だぞ｡
It'll be possible to bring forth bodily fluids from every orifice.
それはもう ほとんど お前の必殺技だろうが！
Sounds like it's your ultimate technique.
何ゆえ そこまで かたくなに 必殺技を拒む？
Why are you adamantly refusing to learn the ultimate technique?
なんだ 照れてるのか？
What? Are you just shy? Or are you ashamed to shout out the ultimate technique's name?
必殺技の名前とか叫ぶの 恥ずかしいのか？
ん？ みんな そんなの 我慢してやってんだよ｡
Everyone needs to have patience when learning it.
みんな同じなんだ｡ 大切なのは 慣れだ｡
The important thing is getting used to using it.
なんで ｺｲﾂは こんなかたくなに 必殺技 教えたがってんだよ？
I wonder why this guy is so adamant about teaching us the ultimate technique.
これから先 今まで以上に➡
Perhaps an enemy stronger than anything you have ever faced will appear.
強力な敵が 出てくることもあるだろう｡
You can't survive without this ultimate technique.
必殺技なしで 生き残っていけるとは➡
とても思えん｡ 我が主に 消えられては 私も困るんでな｡
And I'll be in trouble if something happens to my master.
それに 格闘ｹﾞｰﾑなどを 発売すると想定した場合➡
In addition, if this anime is released as a fighting game,
必殺技がないと たいへん地味なｹﾞｰﾑになる｡
it'll be too plain if it doesn't have an ultimate technique.
Think about the business aspect.
大人の事情も考えろ｡
ﾊﾞﾝﾀﾞｲが どれだけ 苦労してると思ってるんだ？
Don't you know how hard a time Bandai's had?
[Note: Namco-Bandai is the parent company of Sunrise, which is the studio that animates GinTama.]
どこまで心配してんですか？
You worry about things beyond your control!
If you still refuse to learn the ultimate technique, I have an idea.
それでも必殺技を 覚える気がないというなら➡
こちらにも考えがある｡ 必殺技を覚えぬかぎり➡
I won't return you to your world until you learn it.
私は お前たちを 元の世界には戻さん！
永久に お前たちは この世界から出られない｡
Forever... You'll be stuck in this world.
ﾌｯ…｡
Ah, that's fine. Some food...
ああ いいよ 別に｡ 食い物は… っと｡
しばらく 厄介になるｱﾙ｡
We'll stay here for a while.
いや しばらくっていうか 永久に出られなく…｡
Well...it's not like "a while," but forever...
あ ちょっと 冷蔵庫とか あんま …勝手に開けないでくれない？
Ah, hey, don't open the refrigerator without asking permission.
んだよ… 永久に出られねえんだろ？
What? We won't be able to leave here ever, right?
冷蔵庫くらいいいだろう？
Then it's all right to open the refrigerator... Whoa! This miso is moldy.
わっ これ 味噌 ｶﾋﾞ生えてんぞ｡
Whoa! No, wait... Ah, I bought that to eat after my bath...
ああっ!! いや ちょ… それ➡
風呂あがりに 食べようと思って買ったのに｡
とにかく こんな汚い部屋じゃ住めないや｡
Anyway, there's no way we can live in a dirty room like this.
ﾎｺﾘだらけ… 掃除しなきゃ… うわっ！
It's filled with dust. I guess I'll have to clean up.
There're a lot of weird books under the bed.
ﾍﾞｯﾄﾞの下から なんか 変な本 いっぱい出てきた｡
あぁぁぁ!! ちょっと～！
Ah! Hey! Don't touch anything in my room without asking permission!
部屋の中のもの 勝手にさわらないで！ やめて！
Stop! Please stop it!
いじらないでぇぇぇ…｡
Hey, there's a lot of curly hairs on the floor.
おい… なんか 床に ちぢれ毛 いっぱい落ちてんぞ｡
何だよ？ これ…｡
I wonder what this is...
No! That's wrong! Those are from my pet. They're not mine...
違うよ！ それ違うから… ﾍﾟｯﾄのやつ それ…➡
私のじゃないから…｡ (神楽) なんか ｺﾞﾐ箱から➡
I can smell some strange odors coming from the trash.
変な匂いするｱﾙ｡ ｶﾞﾁｶﾞﾁのﾃｨｯｼｭ いっぱい入ってるね｡
There're so many rolled up tissues in there.
違うよ！ それ 違うから！
No! That's not right! That is, you know... I ate grilled squid yesterday! That's it!
あれ 昨日 ｲｶ焼き食った！ それ！
もう頼むから じっとしてて あんまり動かないでって…｡
Please just be quiet! Don't move around.
(銀時/神楽)ｷﾞｬﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ…！
(神楽)そのｸﾞﾗｻﾝ どこで買ったｱﾙか？
Where did you buy those sunglasses?
帰れぇっ!! 帰れ お前ら！
Go home! Go home, you guys!
ﾊｧ ﾊｧ ﾊｧ…｡
なんだよ 永久に 出られねえんじゃなかったのか？
What? I thought we would never, ever leave this place, right?
No, please go home!
いや もう 帰ってください！
Never mind about the ultimate technique or anything else.
必殺技とか そんなんいいんで 帰ってください！
Just go home, please!
こっちは 親切で 必殺技を 教えてやるって言ってんのに➡
I was kindly offering to teach you the ultimate technique!
そんなﾒﾁｬﾒﾁｬするなら 帰ってください もう～！
But if you are just going to make a big mess, please go home, already!
私は もう知りません！
I don't care anymore! I really don't care whether you die!
どこで ｱﾝﾀらが のたれ死のうが もう私は 知らないんで！
もう帰ってくださ～い！
Please go...
...home...
(母ちゃん) ｱﾝﾀ 何 勝手なこと言ってんの!!
Why are you saying such selfish things?!
(銀時たち)洞爺湖仙人!!
Lake Toya Spirit!
勝手に お友達 家に呼んどいて 帰れってどういうことなの？
You invited all your friends here, so how can you say "everyone go home"?
ｱﾝﾀ そんなんだから いつまでたっても➡
You can't make any friends because you do things like this!
友達できないんだよ！ (洞爺湖)かっ 母ちゃん…｡
M-Mom...
なんか お母さん 出てきたんですけど… 仙人の｡
Somehow...the mother appeared... the mother of the spirit...
母ちゃんに関係ねえだろ｡ 首つっこんでくるなよ｡
That's not your business, Mom. Stop being so nosy.
だいたい ｵﾚが 友達できないのは 父ちゃんが転勤が多いから｡
The reason why I can't make any friends is because Daddy's had so many job transfers.
そうやって なんでも 転勤のせいにするんじゃないの！
Don't blame everything on his transfers!
お父さんだって 仕事の都合があるんだからね｡
Daddy has his own circumstances with his job!
なんで 母ちゃんに ﾋｹﾞ生えてんの？
Why does his mom have a beard?
あっ すみませんね 皆さん｡
I'm really sorry, everyone.
この子 あの… 転校が多くて➡
He changes schools a lot, so he doesn't know how to make friends.
友達の作り方 知らないものだから ﾊﾊﾊ…｡
嫌いにならないであげてね｡ 根は いい子なんで｡
Please don't hate him. He's basically a good boy.
いえいえ いいんですよ｡ 気にしないでください｡
That's all right. Don't worry about it.
あの 悪いんだけど あの子から 必殺技… 習ってもらえる？
Um...I'm sorry to ask you something like this,
but could you learn the ultimate technique from him?
おい～ 洞爺湖！ こっち来いよ！
Hey! Lake Toya, come over here!
必殺技 ｵﾚたちに教えてくれよ！
Please teach us the ultimate technique!
ほら ｱﾝﾀ！ みんな 必殺技 習ってくれるって！
Hey! Everyone wants to learn the ultimate technique!
What are you doing, Lake Toya?! Hurry up and get over here.
な～に やってんの 洞爺湖！ 早く来なさい ほら！
いや もういいって ﾏｼﾞで…｡ (母ちゃん)いいってなんなの？
No, it's all right...really...
What do you mean, "It's all right"?!
ｱﾝﾀが 必殺技 教えるって みんな呼んだんでしょうが！
You were the one who called everyone over so you could teach them the ultimate technique, right?!
ほら 何やってんの！
Come on, what are you doing?
いいって もう～!!
I just said "it's all right"!
こんなん 必殺技 教えるとか そんなﾚﾍﾞﾙじゃないじゃん！
This is... This just isn't the right time for me to teach anyone the ultimate technique!
なんか すっげえ ｵﾚ かっこわるいし…｡
I look really pathetic!
(母ちゃん)なに言ってんの！ 洞君 かっこいいよ！
What are you talking about?!
To-kun, you look so cool! Mom thinks you're really cool, too!
母ちゃんの目から見ても かっこいいよ｡
And these guys don't look like they really want to learn any ultimate technique! So no way!
(洞爺湖)なんか～ ｱｲﾂら 本当は 必殺技なんて習いたくないの➡
うっすら見えるし もういいよ ほんとにさぁ～!!
(母ちゃん) な～に言ってんの 洞君！
What are you saying, To-kun?!
I know you worked really hard to think up the ultimate technique!
あんなに 一生懸命 必殺技 考えてたじゃない！
Mom knows all about that! You worked really hard!
母さん 知ってるよ！ 洞君のがんばり！
いや いいって もう！ うっとうしい！
I already said, "no way"! You're so annoying!
What do you mean "annoying"?! Come on!
うっとうしいって なんなの！
ほらっ お母さんに 放ってみなさい 必殺技！
Do your ultimate technique for Mom! Let's show them what it looks like!
みんなに見てもらおう！ いいって!!
No, no! They're watching us! It's too embarrassing. You're so annoying!
ｱｲﾂら 見てるし もう 恥ずかしいから！
うっとうしいし！ うっとうしいってなんなの！
What do you mean "annoying"?!
だ～か～ら～!!
I mean...
You're really annoying... Jumbolic Magnum!
お前が うっとうしいんｼﾞｬﾝﾎﾞﾘｯｸﾏｸﾞﾅﾑ！
Ah...he did the ultimate technique on his mother.
あっ お母さんに 必殺技 うっちゃいましたよ｡
Oh! Mom!
母ちゃ～ん！
《そう それでいいのよ… 洞君…》
Yes...that's it...
To-kun...
Mom!
母ちゃん！
Mom!
母ちゃん！
Mom!
(父ちゃん)おう ただいま…｡
Hey, I'm home.
今 帰ったよ…｡
I just got home.
D-Dad...
と… 父ちゃん…｡
Y-You... Your mom...
お前… 母ちゃんを…｡
That! There! What did you do to your mother?! Jack Nicolle Cannon!
[Note: Refers to the actor, Jack Nicholson.]
母ちゃんを どうしたんｼﾞｬｯｸﾆｺﾙ砲！
To-To-kun...
洞君… 今こそ…｡
This is the time...for you to be free of the curse of your father having to transfer so many times...
転勤という呪縛から 解放されるとき…｡
倒すのよ… お父さんを！
Defeat...your father...
Jumbolic...
ｼﾞｬﾝﾎﾞﾘｯｸ…｡ ｼﾞｬｯｸﾆｺﾙ…｡
...Jack Nicolle...
いかん！ このままじゃ家族崩壊!!
No way! You'll break up the family.
Ouch!
(２人)ｲﾀ～ｯ!!
Ow...
Ow... It seems you have completely mastered that.
完璧に ﾏｽﾀｰしたようだな…｡
それが お前たちの必殺技…➡
That's your ultimate technique... the "Thigh Kick."
ももﾊﾟｰﾝだ！
Who needs it?!
(３人)いるか～！
Huh? What's this? The sky is all white...
《沖田:あれ？ なんだ これ…｡
空が真っ白だ…｡
あれ？ 真っ白なのは ｵﾚか…｡
Huh? I'm the one all white...
あれ？ こんなの 去年の正月も… あれ？》
Huh? I think something like this also happened last New Year's day... Huh?
(女神)目覚めなさい… そっと開くのです その目を…｡
Wake up.
Gently open...your eyes and...
その閉じられた世界への扉を…｡
...the door to the closed-off world...
目覚めなさい…｡
Wake up...
(土方)なんだ？ こりゃ…｡
What's this?
(近藤)おい ﾄｼ… これは いったい どういうことだ？
Hey, Toshi, what's going on?
さぁな… 起きたら いきなり こんなところにいるってことは➡
I don't know. When I awoke this morning, I was in this place.
夢だな｡
It must be a dream.
悪いけど 二度寝させてもらうわ｡
I'm sorry, but I'm going back to sleep.
総悟 ﾒｼ作っといてくれ｡
Sogo, cook some food.
だってよ 土方｡ って なんでｵﾚ？
Did you hear that, Hijikata?
But why me?!
ｱﾎらしい ｵﾚも寝る｡
It's ridiculous. I'll go back to sleep, too.
(女神)目覚めなさい｡
Wake up... I said, wake up...
目覚めなさいと言っているのです｡
Mom, you're so absent-minded. It's still the New Year's holiday.
母ちゃん そそっかしいな…｡
まだ正月だぜ？ 学校なんてやってねえって…｡
There's no school today.
ｹｯ… 誰が 人に命令されて 起きるかってんだよ｡
Come on. I'm not going to wake up just because someone orders me to.
(女神)目覚めなさい… 今こそ 目覚めるときなのです！
Wake up. It's time for you to wake up. Open your eyes.
目を開きなさい！
あの… すみません…｡
Well, excuse me. Could you please wake up?
ﾁﾛｯと 起きてみては もらえないでしょうか？
あっ あの…｡
U-Um...
I can't remember when I last slept this long.
こんなに寝たのは 久しぶりだ…｡
(女神)ようやく目覚めた ようですね｡
You seem to have finally awakened.
ｱﾝﾀは…｡
You're...
♪♪～
(女神)えぇ 私は…｡ (土方)寒くねえのか？
Yes, I'm...
[Note: She looks like Orihime from BLEACH.]
Aren't you cold? It's the dead of winter.
(土方)こんな真冬に｡ えっ あの 私は…｡
Huh? Well...I'm...
はいはい 話は屯所で 聞かせてもらうからね｡
Yeah, yeah. You can tell us at the police station.
Huh?
はい？ わいせつ物陳列罪だ｡
You are under arrest for indecent exposure. You're too flashy.
この露出狂が…｡ ちょっ… 待って！
No, wait.
(女神)人のこと 変態みたいに 言わないでくれます？
Can you stop talking like I'm a pervert?!
私 違うから！ 私は そこらの 変質者と違うから！
I'm not. I'm different from those degenerate...
私は 本物の…｡ 本物の変態か？
I'm a real...
A real degenerate?
Wh-!
なっ…！ だったら こっちには➡
If that's the case, we have a real sadist.
本物のｻﾃﾞｨｽﾄがいるぜ｡
We have a guy who's a real dog-food maniac, too.
本物の 犬のｴｻﾏﾆｱもいますぜ｡
そりゃ 誰のことだ？ ﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞをﾊﾞｶにすんなよ この野郎！
Who are you talking about?
Don't make fun of mayonnaise, you bastard!
Please listen to my story.
話を聞いてください！
I'm neither a degenerate nor a human being.
私は 変質者でも 人間でもありません｡
私は女神… あなたたちの 勝利の女神なのです｡
I'm a goddess...
...your Goddess of Victory.
そ… 総悟…｡ えぇ…｡
S-Sogo...
Well...
人間じゃないうえに女神だとよ｡
She says that she's not human, but a goddess.
こりゃ こっちも 本腰入れてやらねえとな｡
If that's the case, we should get serious.
心配ねえですって… こういう手合いは➡
No need to worry.
People like her will recant after a bit of punishment.
少々 痛めつけりゃあ すぐに態度を改めまさあ｡
だから 本当に 女神なんですってば！
I said I'm a true goddess!
だいたい 白ﾊﾞｯｸの 変な世界なんだから➡
Moreover, there's the weird white background.
そのくらい 察してくれません？
Can't you understand the situation?!
That reminds me... I didn't see any background for a while.
(土方)そういや さっきから 背景がないな…｡
I thought it was because the anime staff was slacking off.
(沖田)てっきり ｽﾀｯﾌが 手を抜いてるんだとばかり➡
思ってましたぜ｡ わかったら➡
If you understand, then please remove these handcuffs!
早く この手錠を はずしてください！
No, I still don't know.
いや ｵﾚにはわからねえ…｡
What's the connection between a white background and a degenerate?
白ﾊﾞｯｸと変質者が どう関連してるのか｡
とにかく ｱﾝﾀは逮捕だ｡
Anyway, you're under arrest.
Just give up, and tell us the way back to our police station!
あきらめて 屯所に戻る道を 教えろぃ｡
何を言っているのです？
What are you talking about?
I've never heard of a goddess being arrested!
女神を逮捕なんて 聞いたことがありません！
Well, we have.
いやぁ あるね！ 女神どころか 死神だって殿様だって➡
Not just a goddess, but also death gods, lords and even streakers.
ｽﾄﾘｰｷﾝｸﾞだって とっ捕まえたぜ ｵﾚたちは！
We've caught them all before.
(近藤)ﾄｼ！ 総悟!! それくらいにしとけ！
Toshi, Sogo, stop it.
(土方)近藤さん…｡ (沖田)なに泣いてんですかい｡
Kondo-san...?!
Why are you crying?
(近藤)その女神さんは 本物だ！
That is a real goddess.
あぁ それじゃ ようやく私が女神だってこと…｡
So, you finally realize that I'm a goddess.
あぁ… 本物の苦労人だよ！
Yes, you've had it really tough during your life.
ちょ… それ 私の日記！
Wait! That's my diary!
しっかり読ませてもらったよ！ ｱﾝﾀ 苦労してたな！
I read it very carefully. You really had a hard time.
(女神)や～ん 返してよ！ 返してください!!
No, give it back to me!
Please give it back! Oh, no!
(女神)いや～！
(近藤)まぁ そういうわけで 彼女にも いろいろあった｡
For all these reasons, she went through many hardships.
情状酌量の 余地は十分にある！
There's room for leniency!
って まだ犯罪者なの？
You mean, I'm still a criminal?!
あったりまえだろう！ 少しは しおらしくしやがれ｡
Of course.
Be quiet.
冗談じゃないわ！ もう怒った!!
No kidding. I'm really mad now.
You guys live here the rest of your lives!
ｱﾝﾀたちなんて ここで 一生 暮らせばいいんだわ！
私 もう知りませんからね！
I don't care anymore!
一生 尽くしてやるんだから！
I'll devote the rest of my life to you!
別れるといったって 別れてなんてあげないんだから！
So, even if you want to break up, I will refuse!
ﾌﾝ！ なんだ？ こりゃ｡
What's this?
新手のﾏｿﾞですかい？
Is this a new type of masochism?
いや 男運が相当悪いみたいでな｡
No, it looks like she's had really bad luck with men.
不幸な自分に酔うﾀｲﾌﾟか…｡
She's the type who loves a miserable situation.
そりゃあ つけこまれるぜ！
That's why she was taken advantage of.
(鼻歌)
Everyone, the meal is ready!
みんな！ ご飯ができましたよ～!!
(鼻歌)
It looks like we've been put in a strange situation.
なんか妙な流れになってやすぜ｡
とんだ茶番だな あのﾊﾚﾝﾁ女！
This is a real farce with that indecent woman.
(近藤)いやぁ 女神だから！ 一応ﾎﾝﾄに女神らしいからさ!!
No, she's a goddess. It looks like she's a real goddess.
どうすんだよ 近藤さん｡ すっかり若妻気取りだぞ ありゃ｡
What should we do, Kondo-san? She's acting like a new wife.
旦那役は 局長ですかい？
Are you going to play the role of the husband, Chief?
Don't say such a stupid thing!
ﾊﾞｶを言うな！ ｵﾚには お妙さんという➡
I have Otae-san, the only woman in my heart.
心に決めた人がいるんだぞ！
There's no way something like that could happen!
そんなこと断じてありえん！
…のわりには 茶番に参加する気満々だな おい｡
You say that, but you look like you're ready to join in the farce.
じゃあ 土方さんは 陰険な 姑役で…｡
Then Hijikata-san, you'll be the treacherous mother-in-law.
お～い ｵﾚ 男なんですけど！
Hey, but I'm a man.
さしずめ ｵﾚは 道を外れた ごんたくれってところですかね｡
And I'll be the corrupted fool who behaves improperly.
ちょっと 総君 何してるの？
So-kun, what are you doing?
うっせえな！ 金がいるんだよ!!
Shut up.
I need the money!
だからって 勝手に持ってったら 女神 ﾋﾞｯｸﾘするじゃない！
But if you take it without asking, the goddess will be upset!
ﾊﾟｰ券 押しつけられたんだよ！
I'm left with party tickets to sell!
[Note: A party ticket is a ticket for a certain event sold amongst college students.]
さばかなきゃ やべえんだよ！
I'll be in trouble if I don't sell them!
Are you saying I should threaten to rob my friends?
周りのﾔﾂらから ｶﾂｱｹﾞしろっていうのかい！
そんなこと 女神 言ってないけど｡
I didn't say anything like that...
だったら ほっといてくんな！
Then leave me alone!
No! Anything but that money!
ﾀﾞﾒ！ そのお金だけはﾀﾞﾒなの!!
(沖田)うるせいやい！ (女神)あぁ!!
Shut up!
これ なんてﾌﾟﾚｲ？ (青年)やめろ～！
What kind of play is this?
Stop!
Huh...?
Don't raise your hand to the goddess! I won't forgive you!
(青年)女神さんに手を出すな！ 許さないぞ!!
やめて！ ｷﾐの誤解よ!! 総ちゃんは悪くないの！
Stop! You misunderstand! So-chan didn't do anything bad!
いつから ｵﾚは 総ちゃんになったんだ？
Since when did I become "So-chan"?
ﾎﾞｸは ずっと女神さんに憧れてた！
I've always admired you, Goddess... Your innocent smile...
天真爛漫な笑顔…｡
...and that slightly melancholic beauty mark.
ちょっと不幸そうな その泣きぼくろを➡
ずっと陰から見守っていた！
I've always been watching you from the shadows.
それ ｽﾄｰｶｰだろう！ ｱﾝﾀが言うか…｡ えっ？
That's stalking!
You're one to talk...
いったい何が どういうわけですかい？
Huh?
What the heck is going on here?
(近藤)説明しよう！
Let me explain.
彼は疫病神だ！
He's the Angel of Death.
２年前に不倫がﾊﾞﾚて 泣く泣く別れることになったが➡
Two years ago, his affairs were uncovered, and they broke up.
まだ気持は通じ合ってるらしいぞ｡
But they're growing to like each other again.
(上司)いやぁ 疫病神は 私だ！
No, I'm the Angel of Death.
(女神)ぶ… 部長！
Ma-Manager?!
Another strange man has shown up.
(沖田) また変なのが出てきやがった｡
ちなみにﾎﾞｸは 貧乏神だ！ (上司)しかし おかしいなぁ｡
By the way, I'm the God of Poverty!
But it's strange. I didn't have any affairs.
私は不倫なんて してなかったんだが…｡
あっ それじゃあ あれですか！
Ah, then it's probably that!
２年前 同棲したら とたんに ﾄﾞﾒｽﾃｨｯｸﾊﾞｲｵﾚﾝｽに走ったという｡
Two years ago, right after you lived in sin, he started committing domestic violence.
(ﾁﾝﾋﾟﾗ)いや ｿｲﾂはｵﾚのことだぜ！
No, that was me.
[Note: Parody of Ichigo from BLEACH.]
(女神)死神！ どうして!?
The Soul Reaper! Why have you come here?!
ｵﾚだけじゃねえ…｡
Not just me...
(ﾁﾝﾋﾟﾗ)冥府神に鬼神に 破壊神 酒の神…｡
Meifushin, Kijin, hakaijin, and Sake no kami ...
[Note: Refers to the God of Netherworld, God of Destruction, Sake no kami (God of Wine).]
お前 全員と２年前から つきあっていたそうだな！
I heard you've been dating all of them for the last two years.
What?! There's no way a goddess would do something like that.
なんだって？ 女神ちゃんにかぎって…｡
そんな話 聞いてないぞ！
I didn't hear anything like that!
あの… あっ…｡
W-Well...
(騒ぎ声)
There's not a single decent god...
ろくな神がいねえ… っていうか➡
Anyway, how can she handle herself around all these people and still keep it a secret?
どうすりゃ こんな人数相手に ﾊﾞﾚずに まわせるんだ！
Because she's a goddess? Or, rather, she's a terrible bitch.
神様だからじゃないですかい？
というより ろくでもねえ あばずれでさぁ｡
なっ 苦労してるだろう！
I told you... She's had many hardships, hasn't she?
(女神の泣き声)
すべて失ったわ…｡
I've lost everything...
そりゃあ 私が悪いわよ｡
I know it's all my fault.
でも 私 さみしかったんだもん！
But I was lonely...
女神なんだから少しくらい 欲張ったっていいじゃない！
Because I'm a goddess, I can be a little greedy.
(泣き声)
Sadist Mode Change.
[Note: Spoof of Kamen Rider Den-O.]
《ｻﾃﾞｨｽﾄﾓｰﾄﾞ ﾁｪﾝｼﾞ…》
(泣き声)
失ったんなら 取り戻せばいいじゃありませんか｡
If you lost it, then just get it back.
あっ…｡
ﾌﾌﾌﾌ…｡
あっ そうよ！
That's true! Yes!
そうだわ!! おっ？
I'm the Goddess of Victory! I'll just take back what I lost!
私は勝利の女神！ 失ったものは 取り戻せばいいんだわ！
私の この力で 私の幸せを勝ち取るのよ～！
With my own power! I'll win over my happiness with my own power!
私たちの力で～！
(２人)はい!?
What?!
Go for it! Oh!
やるぞ～ ｵｰ！ ﾌﾌﾌ…｡
(女神)こうして 私は➡
Like this... In order to ensure my true love and happiness,
私の本当の愛と幸せを 取り戻すために➡
一生懸命がんばって 戦って戦って➡
I worked my best to fight...
戦って戦い抜いて 数々の男をｹﾞｯﾁｭして➡
...and I kept fighting and fighting...
...and got lots of men.
力の限り がんばり抜くって➡
And I realized that working hard is so beautiful...
ｽﾃｷなことだなぁって 思いました！ ﾏﾙ!!
...period. Huh? Was this a composition?
あれ？ 作文？
(雄叫び)
(女神)P.S. 私 これからは めいっぱい幸せになり…｡
P.S. I'll be as happy as I can...
(いびき)
The next episode... "The More Delicious the Food, the Nastier It Is When It Goes Bad."
[Food safety is a big issue these days. And this social anime will take a closer look at it.]
[Forget it... GinTama is not that kind of show. But does GinTama have a safety problem?!]