Boy, the year's already over, huh?
(神楽) あぁ 今年も もう終わりｱﾙな｡
Sure was fast.
(銀時)早えなぁ… もう やんなっちゃうな｡
I hate how the years go by faster as we get older.
歳とるごとに早くなっていくよ １年過ぎるのが…｡
この調子じゃ じじいになったときは➡
At this rate, by the time I'm an old geezer,
F1ｶｰが 通り過ぎる並みのｽﾋﾟｰﾄﾞで １年が過ぎるんじゃねえの？
the years will pass at the speed of a Formula 1 car.
(神楽)私は まだまだ大丈夫ｱﾙ｡
I've still got a long ways to go.
Well, I'm already up to Ben Johnson speed, I'd say.
いやいや 実際 ｵﾚなんか もう➡
ﾍﾞﾝ･ｼﾞｮﾝｿﾝが走り去るくらいの 速さまで来てるからね もう！
来てるからね そこにﾍﾞﾝが…｡
My Ben Johnson is already up to here.
[Note: In Japanese, Ben also refers to Poop. So here Gin is referring to his incontinence.]
お前らも 若いからって 調子にのってると➡
Don't get too cocky because you're all still young.
すぐ来るよ ﾍﾞﾝが！
Your Ben Johnson will fall behind soon enough.
For real? Ben Johnson's gonna fall out?
[Note: Carl Lewis is a famous track and field athlete.]
ﾏｼﾞかよ！ ﾍﾞﾝが来るのかよ!!
私 ﾍﾞﾝよりｶｰﾙのほうがいいね！ かっけ～ｱﾙ!!
I prefer Carl Lewis over Ben Johnson. He's cooler.
まぁ 要は 今年も充実した１年を 送ったってことじゃなくね？
Well, all I'm saying is, we all had a pretty good year, right?
(新八) 送ってねえよ！ まだ２月だぞ!!
Hell no! It's still February! We still have eleven months left!
これから まるまる 11か月あるんですけど～！
だって これ ｺﾝﾃ描いてるの まだ12月だもん｡
...Because this script was written in December.
そうだよ ｱﾆﾒ作るのに どんだけ 時間かかると思ってんだよ！
That's right. Do you know how long it takes to make an anime?
放送日 考えて ｱﾆﾒ作れ！
When they make an anime, they should know the airdate!
考えて作ってたんだよ｡
They did. Like, at the end of the year, they closed out with a "group date,"
年末は 忘年会的な感じで ｢合ｺﾝ｣で締めようとか…｡
which reminded me of a year-end party.
１月３日には ｢初夢｣って これ よくね？ みたいな感じで➡
On January 3rd, they thought the perfect episode would be "My first dream of the new year."
They really had a lot of ideas.
いろいろ考えてたのにさ～ ﾌｯ｡
もう日本ｼﾘｰｽﾞとか 正月特番とかで ずれまくって➡
But the airdate schedules were completely messed up because of the Japan Series
and the New Year's special programs.
正直 計画ｸﾞｯﾁｬｸﾞﾁｬなわけよ！
そんな ぶっちゃけ情報 いらねえよ！
We don't need that kind of frank information.
そのうえ ２年で 終了っていうから➡
Moreover, the show was supposed to finish after the second year,
あと××と××の話やって ××編やって➡
so they planned BLEEP and BLEEP episodes,
a BLEEP version and a BLEEP story to make it to episode 100, the last show.
××の話が ﾋﾟｯﾀﾘ100話で最終回って➡
綿密なｼﾘｰｽﾞ構成してたのにさ！
They carefully planned the whole series,
ここにきて 急に３年目延長だから 引き延ばせってさ➡
but now they say the show will be extending to a third year, so the story must be dragged on.
ふざけんじゃねえよ ほんと！
Give me a break, really.
The people who will suffer later are us and the detectives at the site.
[Note: Spoof of Cop TV shows. Older cops often say such a thing to youngsters.]
結局 泣きを見るのは ｵﾚたち現場のﾃﾞｶなんだよ！
They don't understand anything.
ｱｲﾂら全然わかってないｱﾙ！
"An anime isn't something that can be created in a meeting room."
[Note: Spoof of famous line from the Japanese film "Bayside Shakedown."]
ｱﾆﾒは 会議室で できてんじゃねえんだよ！
ｱﾆﾒｰﾀｰが絞りだした 何か変な汁でできてんだよ！
It's made from the strange juices the animator squeezes out.
っていうか この番組 ３年目延長なの？
By the way, will this show enter a third year?
そんな重大情報 さらっと こんなとこで➡
Is it all right to say something that important at this point in the series?
言っちゃっていいの？ いいんだよ！
No problem.
Everyone would have known it in the next issue of the anime magazine, anyway...
どうせ次のｱﾆﾒ誌とかで すぐにわかっちゃうから！
あ～あ… なんかこう惜しまれつつ いったん 終了するんだけど➡
Ah... I had hoped the show would be sorely missed and comments like
でも ｢銀ちゃんを もう一回 見たい｣的な声が盛り上がって➡
"We want to watch Gin-chan again!" would pour in,
半年後に ｢奇跡のｺﾞｰﾙﾃﾞﾝ復活!! ﾘﾎﾞｰﾝ｣とか➡
[Note: Spoof of Reborn the manga/anime.]
so it would return to prime time a half year later, Reborn!
そんなことも考えてたのに…｡ ねえよ！
No way! Sounds like you're dreaming!
どんだけﾄﾞﾘｰﾐﾝなんだよ！ なんで こないだまで➡
Until just recently, we were afraid the show was going to be canceled at any moment,
打ち切りにﾋﾔﾋﾔしてたのに なんでｺﾞｰﾙﾃﾞﾝ返り咲き!?
so how can we return to prime time? I really don't get what you're talking about!
意味わかんねえよ！ DVDとか売れてるらしいｱﾙよ｡
I heard DVD sales are going pretty well.
It doesn't matter.
関係ねえんだよ！ DVDとか いくら売れても➡
No matter how many DVDs are sold, not even a cent comes back to the show.
現場には 一銭も入ってこねえんだよ！
制作費 増えねえんだよ！
The production costs never increase.
Really... Aniplex entices people with unscrupulous cover designs on every DVD.
まったく 毎回毎回 あざといｼﾞｬｹｯﾄで➡
釣りやがって！ ｱﾆﾌﾟﾚｯｸｽ｡ いや そんなｼﾞｬｹｯﾄじゃないからね｡
No, it's not that kind of cover.
それに 銀さん ﾃﾚﾋﾞで お金の話は やめてくださいよ｡
And Gin-san please stop talking about money on the air.
この間も ××の半分でいいから 予算くれとか言ったから➡
Recently, you said, "Give us a budget, even if it's half of BLEEP,"
so the director of BLEEP, Director Mizushima, complained to us.
[Note: Seiji Mizushima is the director of "GUNDAM 00.]
××の水島監督から 文句 言われたんですよ！
ほんとは ××じゃなくて ××のことだったのに！
It didn't mean BLEEP, but BLEEP.
××とか ﾋﾟｰ音かぶせるから 紛らわしいことになるんだよ！
It's so confusing because they bleep out everything.
わかったよ 訂正するよ！ ××じゃなくて ××でした!!
All right, I'll correct them. It wasn't BLEEP, it was BLEEP.
って ﾋﾟｰ音かぶせたら 同じじゃねえか！
Hey, it's the same thing if they use bleeps!
というわけで いったん 終了して➡
For all of those reasons, we can't just halt the show,
ｽﾄｯｸをためてから再開する という道が絶たれた以上➡
stock up enough episodes and then restart.
ｱﾆﾒ 『銀魂』は ３年目に向けて 引き延ばし作戦に出る！
Therefore, the GinTama anime drags on for a third year.
(新八/神楽)引き延ばし作戦？
Drags on?!
週刊連載中のﾏﾝｶﾞが 長期ｱﾆﾒ化した場合➡
When a weekly manga series becomes a long-term animation,
必ず ぶつかる問題｡
it always encounters the same problem.
A twenty-page weekly manga and a thirty-minute anime show run at different speeds,
それは 毎週20ﾍﾟｰｼﾞ弱のﾏﾝｶﾞと 30分のﾃﾚﾋﾞ番組では➡
進む早さが違うため➡
原作ﾏﾝｶﾞに ｱﾆﾒが 追いついてしまうということだ！
so the anime will eventually catch up to the manga.
これに対して先人たちは➡
Regardless, with this issue,
our predecessors took various measures to make their shows dragged on.
さまざまな手段を講じて 引き延ばしを計ってきた｡
まずは 前話回想方式｡
[What's this?]
[This is a repeat of the previous episode to use up time.]
The first way is to look back at the last episode.
At the beginning of the show,
毎回 番組の冒頭に 前回のﾗｽﾄを➡
repeat the last scene from the previous episode for about five minutes, so it drags on.
５分くらい繰り返すことによって 時間稼ぎをする！
番組によっては ｻﾌﾞﾀｲﾄﾙが出るまで➡
In some shows,
it takes more than ten minutes before the episode titles show up, which is amazing.
10分以上あるという 猛者もあったという｡
でも 『銀魂』は 基本 １話完結だから➡
But basically GinTama is a self-contained show, so we can't do it that way.
その手は使えないｱﾙ｡
次に 回想ｼｰﾝの挿入｡
Next is to insert flashbacks...
ﾊﾞﾄﾙｼｰﾝなどで２人が対峙して 膠着状態になったとき➡
When two people face off in battle scenes and reach a deadlock,
老師など 訳知り顔のｷｬﾗが現れ➡
an all-knowing old man appears.
And he says something like, "That's so and so, blah, blah, blah..."
[Replaying old scenes]
[Old man]
あれは ﾎﾆｬﾗﾗ神拳のﾎﾆｬﾗﾗ奥義とか 解説しつつ➡
and replays old scenes for a long time.
使いまわしの過去のｼｰﾝを 長々と見せつける方法だ｡
あるｱﾆﾒなど 主人公たちが 一撃も拳を交えることなく➡
In one anime,
the main characters never throw a punch at each other during the 30-minute show.
30分 番組が終わって しまったこともあるという｡
でも 『銀魂』は 基本 ﾊﾞﾄﾙﾏﾝｶﾞじゃないんで➡
But GinTama isn't a battle manga. So we can't use that either.
その手は使えないですね｡
だが ここに 我が 『銀魂』は 先人たちが想像しえなかった➡
But, GinTama created a way...
to drag on the episode that even its predecessors couldn't think of.
画期的な引き延ばし策を 編み出した！
それは…｡ それは…｡
That would be...
That would be...?
それは…｡
That would be...
All right, five minutes have passed.
はい ５分経った！
[The GinTama anime has amazingly entered its third year! Is it really okay to continue the show?]
[So the full show is coming up next. Sniper VS Gintoki Breakdown Battle.]
《殺し屋:昔 どこかの軍師が言ったそうだ｡
A long time ago, a strategist once said
戦を必勝に導く名軍師とは➡
that an excellent strategist who emerges victorious from a fight...
誰より臆病なﾔﾂのことだと｡
is nothing more than a big coward.
臆病なﾔﾂは 不測の事態に怯え➡
A cowardly man who is frightened by an unexpected situation...
万全の準備を 整えることが できる｡
and thus takes all possible precautions.
臆病なﾔﾂは 絶対に 勝てる条件が揃うまで➡
And he never starts a fight until the conditions are set up in his favor.
戦は しない｡
まったく… 偉いことを言ったﾔﾂが いたもんだ｡
Really, what that guy said is totally right.
Thanks to that, I ended up in a really messy room for nearly three months.
おかげで ｵﾚは こんな汚い部屋に➡
３か月近く こもるﾊﾒに あっている…｡
だが ｺｲﾂは 軍師の話だ｡
However, it's about a strategist.
You can't win a fight by being cowardly.
臆病なだけでは 戦には勝てない｡
There is one more thing you need to win a fight.
戦に 勝つには もう１つ 必要なものがある｡
大軍に突撃する 勇敢な兵士たち｡
It's the bravery soldiers who charge a huge army have.
つまり 一匹狼のｵﾚは 臆病な軍師であり➡
In other words, I, the lone wolf,
have to be a cowardly strategist as well as a brave soldier.
勇敢な兵士にも ならなければ ならない｡
難儀な話だ…｡
What a hardship.
It seems I have some talent as a strategist, but as a soldier, I seem to be worthless.
どうやら ｵﾚは 軍師の才は かすかに あるらしいが➡
兵士としては からっきしらしい｡
I've been doing this for 20 years, but my hand still shakes every time I go to work.
この仕事について 20年 経つが➡
仕事の前は 毎度 震えが止まらない…｡
I always make elaborate plans and hide in a very safe place...
練りに練った作戦と➡
絶対に安全な隠れ蓑に 身を隠し➡
ｴｻが 来たときのみ…➡
and only when the target appears, do I strike.
食らいつく！
そんな 臆病なｵﾚの仕事を見て➡
What I do, some people with foul mouths say I'm...
口の悪いﾔﾂは こう言った》
[COWARDLY AND DULL]
Cowardly and dull.
[COWARDLY AND DULL]
[YOU'RE LIKE...]
You're like...
[A TURTLE.]
《殺し屋:その日から ｵﾚは➡
Since that day, I've been called "Turtle the Sniper."
殺し屋 亀 と 呼ばれるようになった｡
まったく のんきな名前だろう…｡
What an easygoing name.
Who would imagine that I'm the best assassin in Edo?
誰が 江戸いちばんの殺し屋なんて 思うものか…｡
そうさ！ ｵﾚを➡
Right... Some say I'm the strongest assassin, but that's wrong.
最強の殺し屋 なんて言う 輩もいるが ｿｲﾂは違う！
I'm just the biggest coward in Edo.
ｵﾚは 江戸いちばん 臆病なだけだ…｡
ｵﾚが こんな物騒な 得物の扱いに 長けたのは➡
The reason why I am so good at handling a dangerous weapon is
素手で 標的を殴り殺す 力も度胸も ないからだ…｡
that I have neither the power nor the courage to beat my target to death barehanded.
ｵﾚが 絶対に 的を外さないのは➡
And the reason why I never miss my target is that I'm afraid he'll
報復を 恐れているからだ…｡
come back and take revenge.
The reason why I murder anyone for money is because I worry about retirement.
ｵﾚが 金さえ積まれれば 誰だろうと 殺すのは➡
老後の生活を 心配しているからだ…｡
標的は 日曜の午後｡
The target comes to the park on Sunday afternoons to walk his dog.
公園に 犬の散歩に来る｡
According to my information, he's someone who works for the Bakufu,
幕府の某という情報が 入っているが➡
それさえ わかれば ｵﾚには 十分だ…｡
and that's enough for me.
あとは ｵﾚの 手の震えが 止まるのを 待つだけだった！
All I have to do is wait for my hands to stop shaking.
甲羅の中から 援軍が出てくるのを 待つだけだ…｡
And wait for my confidence to come out of its shell.
But...
だが…！
ｵﾚの 手の震えが おさまることは なかった…｡
...my hands won't stop shaking.
The man who appears before me isn't a cowardly strategist...
ｵﾚの前に現れた その男は➡
臆病な軍師でも 勇敢な兵士でも➡
...nor a brave soldier, nor a target. He's...
まして 標的でもない…｡
ｿｲﾂは…！》
["Be A Person Who Can See People's Strong Points And Not Their Weak Points"]
《殺し屋:んっ？ なんだ？ この男は…！
What's with this man?
こっちを… 見ている!?
Is he looking at me? Why is he looking at me?
なんで こっちを見ている!?
まさか ｵﾚの存在に…！
It can't be that he knows I'm here...
No way.
いや… ありえん！ 公園から ここまでは➡
The distance between the park and this spot is more than one hundred meters.
百数十ﾒｰﾄﾙ以上 離れている…｡
向こうから見れば ｵﾚの銃口は➡
From that vantage point,
the muzzle of my gun should look no bigger than the eye of a needle.
針の穴ほどにしか 見えないはず！》
《いや… 見ている！
No...
...he's looking! That man is definitely looking at me!
あの男… 間違いなく ｵﾚを見ている！
ｵﾚの異変を 察してか➡
Kamekichi seems to have noticed there's something wrong
as I hear him moving around in the water tank behind me.
背後の水槽で 亀吉が騒ぐのが 聞こえる…｡
亀吉… どうやら ｵﾚは➡
Kamekichi, it looks like I screwed up.
ﾄﾞｼﾞ ふんじまったらしい…｡
It took half a year, including preparation time,
この 暗殺計画を 実行するまで➡
仕込みも入れて 半年かかった…｡
until I could carry out this assassination.
何度も 標的をとれる機会は あった！
I had many opportunities to get my target.
Nevertheless, the reason why I waited for so long
それでも 粘りに粘ったのは➡
was to make sure my target is completely eliminated.
標的を 確実に とるだけじゃなく➡
And above all I wanted to ensure my own safety.
何より ｵﾚの安全を 確保するためだった！
情報漏洩など もってのほか！
Information leaks are impossible.
I didn't contact anyone and literally waited with bated breath in my shell.
誰にも接触せず 文字どおり➡
亀のように 甲羅の中で ｼﾞｯと息を潜めてきた！
なのに…➡
And yet...
なぜ 漏れた!?
Why was there a leak?!
That man...must have figured out Matsudaira's assassination plan!
あの男… 間違いなく 松平公暗殺計画に 気づいている！
計画が 露見していた以上➡
Since the plan's been discovered, there's no way Matsudaira will come to the park.
松平公が 公園に来ることは ありえない…｡
ｵﾚは 逃げるべきだった…｡
I should escape. However, my body won't move.
だが ｵﾚの体は ﾋﾟｸﾘとも動かない！
その男の 刺すような視線が それを 許さない！
That man's piercing eyes won't let me.
ｵﾚの本能が かつてない危険信号を 上げる！
My instincts sense a danger stronger than any I've felt before. This is really bad.
ｺｲﾂは やばい！
松平の 手の者ではない…｡
He's not an underling of Matsudaira's.
Perhaps he's a hired goon. No, he must be better than that.
おそらく ﾔﾂが雇った 剣客！
いや！ そんな 生ぬるい者ではない！
あの目は 獣！
Those eyes are the eyes of a beast...in search of blood and on the hunt for souls.
血を求め 魂を狩る 獣の目だ！
一瞬でも 目を そらせば…➡
If I break eye contact for even an instant...
殺される！》
...I'll be killed.
ﾌｯ…｡
《わ… 笑っている！
He's smiling! In this situation... I'm pointing a gun and he's smiling?! What a man!
この状況で… 銃口を 向けられながら➡
笑っているだと!? なんという男だ～！
挑発… ｵﾚを挑発している｡
Provocation! He's provoking me. He seems to want to fight me one-on-one.
ｵﾚと ｻｼで やり合うつもりだ｡
この距離で まさか あの 木刀を使うわけもない｡
At this distance, there's no way he can use that wooden sword.
何か とんでもない 隠し玉をもっている｡
He must have some terrible hidden weapon.
あの笑みは ﾊﾞｽﾞｰｶ的な いや…➡
From his smile, it looks like a bazooka...or a rocket launcher.
ﾛｹｯﾄﾗﾝﾁｬｰ的なものも もっている｡
いや… 核ﾐｻｲﾙ的なものである 可能性も捨て切れん！
No, there's a possibility he might even be holding a nuclear missile.
そんなものを撃たれたら ひとたまりもないぞ！》
If he shoots that kind of thing, I'm done for.
Oh, Oh! Really...
おっ おっ ﾏｼﾞで…？
(銃声)
I unconsciously pulled the trigger.
《無意識のうちに ｵﾚは 銃の ひきがねを引いていた｡
長年の殺し屋としての 勘…｡ そして➡
It was my instincts from being a killer for so many years.
And because I'm a coward, my ability to sense danger...
臆病者がゆえの 危機察知能力が 頭より 体を先に動かしたのだ》
is so strong that my body reacts instinctively before my brain can process it.
《ｵﾚの勝利を祝ってか➡
As if celebrating my victory,
背後の水槽で 亀吉が騒ぐのが聞こえる｡
I hear Kamekichi making noise in the water tank behind me.
亀吉… 祝福より ｱｲﾂに 祈りをくれてやりな｡
Kamekichi, pray for him instead of celebrating for me.
って 鼻血～っ!?
A nosebleed?!
ﾗｲﾌﾙで撃たれて 鼻血で終わりだと!?
He has just a nosebleed after being shot?
ﾊﾞｶな… ﾗｲﾌﾙだぞ！ ﾗｲﾌﾙ当たって 鼻血って➡
Impossible! It was a rifle! He has a nosebleed after being shot by a rifle?
小学生の ﾄﾞｯｼﾞﾎﾞｰﾙ大会じゃないんだから！
It's not like a dodge ball game in elementary school.
弾丸が きかないというのか ﾔﾂには…！
Bullets don't work against him! It's unbelievable. What a guy!
信じられん… なんという男だ！
あんな ﾊﾞｹﾓﾉを相手にしていたら 命が いくつあっても足りん！
Against such a monster, I'll face more dangers than one could imagine.
なんとか 逃げる方法を…｡
I have to find a way to escape!
ん？ あれは… 同心…！
That's...a cop!
ﾊﾞ… ﾊﾞｶなっ!!》
Impossible!
この人です ｼﾞﾛｼﾞﾛ見てたの｡
This is the person who was staring at me.
あぁ？ (同心)ｷﾐか？ 覗きしてたっていうのは？
Were you peeking at her?
《殺し屋:いつの間に 援軍を 呼んでいたというのだ ﾔﾂは!?
When did he call in reinforcements?
連絡をとっている素振りなど 少しも見せなかったはず》
He didn't show any signs of contacting them at all.
いやぁ 覗いてませんよ｡ 鼻血 出てるよ｡
No, I wasn't peeking.
Your nose is bleeding.
《殺し屋:いったい どうやって？
I wonder how he could do that...
あれは！ 鼻血の血痕が ｢ﾍﾙﾌﾟ｣と描いている➡
[HELP]
That's! That bloodstain says, "HELP." Well, at least it looks like it.
…ように見えなくもない｡ なんという男だ…！
What a guy!
まさか 自らの鼻血を使って 援軍を呼んでいたというのか？》
Don't tell me he used his own nosebleed to call in reinforcements!
だってぇ あんな ﾍﾞﾛ～ﾝって ｶｰﾃﾝ開けてたら➡
But if she leaves the curtains open that wide,
いやでも 目に入ってくるでしょう！
there's no way I can avoid seeing it, right? So I saw her.
それは 見ますよ｡ (岡っ引き)いいから…｡
That's enough. Come with us to the station.
ちょっと 署まで来なさい｡ なんでぇ？
What? Why?!
That's it! He's giving them some kind of order!
《殺し屋：あれは…！ 何か指示を出している》
(玄関ﾁｬｲﾑ)
(長谷川)すみませ～ん！ 大江戸新聞ですけど｡
Excuse me. It's the Oedo Newspaper.
おたく どっかの新聞 とってますかねぇ？
Are you subscribing to any newspapers?
《ﾊﾞ… ﾊﾞｶなぁぁっ!! (玄関ﾁｬｲﾑ)
How stupid!
(長谷川)すみませ～ん！
Excuse me!
《殺し屋:新聞屋なんかじゃない！ これは… すでに ｵﾚの部屋は➡
They are not from the newspaper!
This is... Does this mean my room is already surrounded by the enemy?!
敵に 包囲されているというのか！
How well prepared! In a situation like this, I can't escape!
なんという 根回しのよさ！ これでは 脱出も ままならない》
Kamekichi seems to have noticed my anxiousness,
《ｵﾚの焦りを見 諦観したのか➡
背後の水槽で 亀吉は 音も立てない｡
because he isn't making any sounds in the tank behind me.
亀吉… 最後まであきらめるな！
Kamekichi, don't give up until the end!
ﾍﾞﾗﾝﾀﾞ！ こうなったら ﾍﾞﾗﾝﾀﾞから 飛び降りて脱出するしか…》
The balcony!
Now that it's come to this, the only way I can escape is to jump down from the balcony.
(ざわめき)
《ﾊﾞｯ…➡
No...
ﾊﾞｶな～っ!!
...Impossible! Wh-Why are there so many people here?!
な… なな… なんで こんなにいんの～!?
一瞬で こんな… どういうことだ!?
All of a sudden... What the hell is going on?!
いったい どうやって これだけの 人数を集めたというのだ!?
How could he gather so many people?!
全員が 敵意むきだしで ｵﾚを見つめているぅ！》
Everyone looks so hostile and is staring at me!
死んでやるぅ!!
Let me die!
お前！ 何やってんだ！ ﾊﾞｶなﾏﾈは やめろ!!
Hey, you! What are you doing?! Don't be stupid!
《ﾊﾞｶなﾏﾈ？ ｢ﾊﾞｶな～っ！｣ を やめろというのか？
"Don't be stupid"? You're telling me not to do anything "stupid"?
しかし この状況は どう見ても…➡
But no matter how I look at this situation...
ﾊﾞｶなぁぁ～っ!!》
It's impossible!
Do you want to die?! Don't move!
死にたいのか～!? そこから 動くんじゃねえぞ！
《殺し屋：動けば 蜂の巣だ…｡
If I move, I'm done for. But if I don't move, I'm done for.
だが 動かなくとも 殺られることは必定…》
今から そっち行くぞ～！ 待ってろ！
I'll come right over! Wait for me!
《殺し屋：甲羅に潜っていようが 甲羅から出ようが 待つのは 死｡
It doesn't matter if I hide in a shell, or come out... Death waits for me anyway.
臆病に死ぬか 勇敢に死ぬか…｡
Whether I die bravely or timidly.... No, as a killer, I don't have the right to choose.
いや それを選ぶ権利は 殺し屋のｵﾚには なかった｡
ｵﾚの感傷を 知ってか知らずか 背後の水槽で 亀吉は泣いていた｡
I'm not sure if Kamekichi noticed my sentiment,
but he was crying in the water tank behind me...
え… っていうか 泣いてる？
Huh? Is he crying?
泣いてる！ 卵っ!!
He's crying! Eggs!
ｵﾚがつけた名前を 知ってか知らずか➡
I'm not sure if he knew what the name I gave him meant,
背後の水槽で 亀吉は ﾒｽだった》
but in the water tank behind me, I noticed Kamekichi was actually a female.
[Note: Kamekichi is a male name.]
《そう… 殺し屋に 死に方なんぞを 選ぶ権利はない｡
No... An assassin has no right to choose how he dies.
だったら 死ななければいい｡ ｵﾚは 最後まで生きよう｡
Then I shouldn't die. I'll live forever.
今まで さんざん 臆病に 命を奪ってきたｵﾚだが➡
I've taken so many lives so timidly until now...
今度は この 新しい命を守るために…》
...but this time, in order to protect these new lives...
[I'LL BECOME A COWARD.]
When you think you can't win a fight, just run away.
《勝てない戦は 逃げるが勝ちだ！
亀吉 向こうの建物に いちかばちか 飛び移るぞ!!》
Kamekichi, let's take a chance and jump to get
to the building on the other side!
《殺し屋：ｵﾚの震えは いつの間にか 止まっていた｡
My shaking stopped before I knew it.
あと もうちょい！
We're almost there!
もうちょっとで 届…》
Almost...
(衝撃音)
(歓声)
He did it!
(町人)やったあ～!! (町人)よかったわね～！
Great job!
(町人)助かった～!!
She's been saved! Great! It's a miracle!
(町人)奇跡よ！ (町人)下の人がｸｯｼｮﾝになって…｡
The man under her acted as a cushion!
I've never seen someone as brave as him!
こんな勇敢な人 見たことないわ！
Come on!
しっかりして！ おい すぐに運べ！
Hey, we need to move him right away. Let's help this brave man!
この勇敢な人を助けるんだ！
[Metropolitan Police Department]
Well...
(松平)え～ ｢貴殿の勇敢な 行動を称え➡
In recognition of your brave actions,
この賞状と記念品を贈ります｡
we present to you this certificate of appreciation and a gift.
警察庁長官 松平 片栗虎｣｡
Bestowed by the Head of the Metropolitan Police, Katakuriko Matsudaira.
ようがんばったばい｡
You did a great job.
(拍手)
Whatever...
《殺し屋:まっ いいか…》
The next episode... "Even A Hero Has Issues." Duwa!
[Note: "Duwa" is a spoof of how Ultraman always says "Shuwa" or "Shuwatch" before flying off.]
[February 14th is Valentine's Day. Gin-san and the others are excited.]
[A huge piece of chocolate fell from the sky, and the person who dropped it is a huge woman.]
Okay, next is the King Kong pair. Good luck!
は～い 次はｷﾝｸﾞｺﾝｸﾞのお２人 よろしく！
Today's GinTama has ended.
終わっちゃったｱﾙな 今日の 『銀魂』…｡
あぁ 終わっちゃったな 今日の 『銀魂』｡
Yeah, today's GinTama is over.
終わってねえよ！
It's not finished yet! There's still five minutes left!
まだ ５分も時間 余ってんだろ！
そういうときは… お便りｺｰﾅｰ！
In a situation like this...
It's time to read comments from viewers!
なんだよ お便りｺｰﾅｰって！
What's with the "reading comments from viewers"?!
もう そんなの ｱﾆﾒでもなんでもねえよ！
It's like it's not an anime show anymore!
ほら 『衛星ｱﾆﾒ劇場』とかでも ﾊｶﾞｷ 読んだりするじゃん｡
You know, in "Satellite Anime Theater," they also read postcards from viewers.
[Note: Satellite Anime Theater anime shows are broadcasted on a NHK Broadcasting Satellite.]
ここは ＮＨ×じゃねえよ！ ｸﾞﾀﾞｸﾞﾀﾞだよ まったく｡
This is not N(BLEEP)K! We're really in a rut!
[Note: Bleep covers up NHK (Nippon Hoso Kyokai aka Japan Broadcasting Corporation).]
長期ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟｱﾆﾒは すべからく ｸﾞﾀﾞｸﾞﾀﾞになっていくもんなんだよ｡
All long-term JUMP anime get stuck in a rut.
××しかり ××しかり…｡
Like BLEEP or BLEEP.
それに たまに 息抜き回とか作っとかねえと➡
And if we don't take a breather once in a while, we won't last very long, you know?
長くもたねえだろ！ 誰の息抜きだよ…｡
Who needs to take a breather?
息抜きじゃなくて 手抜きね｡
It's not taking a breather, just cutting corners.
Then let's start!
じゃあ いくぞ～い… 最初は富山県➡
The first question is from Hanako Motoki-san from Toyama prefecture.
元木 花子さんからの質問｡
"Who cooks the meals at the Odd Jobs?
｢万事屋の食卓に出てくる料理は➡
いつも誰が作ってるんですか？
Is there anyone amongst the three who can cook decent food?"
あの３人のなかで まともな料理 作れる人間➡
いたんですか？｣｡
Okay, I'll answer you.
はい ずばりお答えしましょう… 当番制です｡
We take turns.
新八は あの姉上と 暮らしてますから➡
Because Shinpachi lives with a sister like her,
当然 生きるために ある程度 料理ができます｡
he must of course be able to cook fairly well to survive.
銀さんも こう見えて 器用ですから➡
Even though I, Gin-san, may not look it, I'm actually a very good cook.
ｶﾞﾝｶﾞﾝできます もう 鉄人並みです｡
I'm like the "Iron Chef."
神楽は 主に卵かけご飯とか➡
And Kagura usually makes raw eggs on rice or rice with toppings.
ふりかけご飯とかを作ります｡
なんだか… どうでもいい質問ですね｡
That's like a meaningless question.
私 お茶漬けも作れるね｡
I can make chazuke, too.
[Note: Chazuke is hot green tea poured over toppings on rice.]
え～ 次は ﾍﾟﾝﾈｰﾑ ＳＴＴαさんからの質問｡
Well, the next question is from a person with the pen name STT Alpha-san.
｢質問です｡ 新八 ｱｲﾂってなんか➡
"I have a question. It's about Shinpachi.
He looks like "the hopeless character with glasses who makes punch lines."
やたら突っ込むﾒｶﾞﾈ みたいな ﾀﾞﾒｷｬﾗｲﾒｰｼﾞなんですけど➡
結構 強いですよね？ 家 道場ですし｡
But he's pretty strong, isn't he? His house is actually a dojo...
本当のところ 新八って どんなもんの強さなんですか？｣｡
Just, how strong is he?"
は～い ずばりお答えしましょう｡
Okay, I'll answer you.
新八は 結構 強いですよ｡
Shinpachi is very strong because
周りがﾊﾞｹﾓﾉだらけだから ﾊﾟｯとしませんが➡
there're so many monsters around, but he doesn't look like it.
ｵﾚが中学の時に １こ上の先輩で➡
When I was in middle school, there was a kid named Kosuke-san,
ｺｰｽｹさんという 番長がいたんですが➡
who was the school gang leader and one year older than me.
新八は ｺｰｽｹさん×３ くらいの強さです｡
Shinpachi is about three times stronger than him.
ｺｰｽｹさんが３人もいたら➡
If there were three Kosuke-sans, seriously, no one would beat them.
はっきりいって 誰も手がつけられない｡
Kosuke-san is really something.
ﾊﾝﾊﾟないんです ｺｰｽｹさん｡
Although Kosuke-san is a punk, his posture is very proper when he rides his bicycle.
ｺｰｽｹさん ﾔﾝｷｰなのに 自転車 乗るとき➡
姿勢 すごい正しいですから｡
背筋ﾋﾟｰﾝって ｺｰｽｹさんﾊﾝﾊﾟない｡
He holds his back very straight. Kosuke-san is really something.
わかんねえよ！ ｺｰｽｹさんって誰だよ!!
I don't get it! Who's Kosuke-san anyway?!
意味わかんねえよ！
I don't know what you're talking about.
Shinpachi is only strong at saying the punch line.
新八が強いのは 突っ込みだけよ｡
基本 ﾀﾞﾒｶﾞﾈｱﾙ｡
He's basically a hopeless four-eyes.
は～い 次は青森県 工藤さんからの質問｡
Well, the next question is from Kudo-san from Aomori prefecture.
｢第58話で “戦争なんさ しようがねえだろ！"と➡
"In episode 58, Lavi shouted, "These things happen in war!!"
叫んでいるﾗﾋﾞ… 目に涙が➡
It looked like he was holding back tears, or was it just my imagination?
溜まっているように 見えるんですが気のせいですか？
っていうか 気のせいじゃないはずです｡
Well, it wasn't just my imagination.
男らしく逃げないで 答えてください ﾗﾋﾞ？｣｡
Please answer like a man. Don't run away, Lavi."
泣いてましたよね あれ｡
He was crying. Well, I guess Lavi had many hardships.
まぁ ﾗﾋﾞも いろいろ つらかったんでしょうね｡
戦争だから しかたがないと➡
It's like he was trying to convince himself
理屈で 必死に 自分を納得させようと➡
that there was nothing he could do about the war.
している気持では… という感じでしょうね｡
まっ ｵﾚはﾗﾋﾞじゃないんで 詳しくはわかりませんが…｡
Well, I'm not Lavi, so I wouldn't really know.
ﾗﾋﾞじゃないっていうか 『D.Gray-man』でもねえから➡
Rather than saying I'm not Lavi, I'll say this anime isn't D.Gray-man!
[Note: D.Gray-man is an ongoing manga in JUMP]
このｱﾆﾒ!! あて先 『D.Gray-man』係って➡
It says it's addressed to D.Gray-man,
書いてあるんですけど… 何かの手違いで➡
but this postcard came to us by mistake.
ﾊｶﾞｷがここに 流れ着いたようです｡
このﾊｶﾞｷは ｵﾚが責任もって 『D.Gray-man』のほうに➡
I'll make sure this postcard is delivered to D.Gray-man.
届けるんで… 工藤さん 安心してください｡
So Kudo-san, don't worry about it.
っていうか工藤さん 絶対 『銀魂』 見てないよね？
By the way, I guess you don't watch GinTama, do you?
まさか こんなところで 放送されてるとは➡
You never thought your postcard would be read on this show.
思ってないよね これ｡
ｸﾞﾀﾞｸﾞﾀﾞね｡
We're really scraping bottom.
If this is the best we can come up with, we should just play Otsu-chan's song.
こんなんだったら 残り時間➡
お通ちゃんの曲 かけたほうが まだﾏｼだよ｡
うん それ いただき！
Oh, yeah! That's it!
…というわけで なんとかなったな｡
So, we somehow managed.
No, no! We're really scraping bottom!
なってねえよ！ 思いっきり ｸﾞﾀﾞｸﾞﾀﾞだよ!!
(神楽)これなら 引き延ばした➡
It's much better than dragging it on through the BLEEP and BLEEP.
××の ××編のほうが まだﾏｼね｡
Anyway, that was "Long-term Jump Anime is Hard."
というわけで ｢長期ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟｱﾆﾒは つらいよ｣の巻でした｡
そんなﾀｲﾄﾙじゃねえっ！
That's not the title!
[Totally Naked GinTama]
I wonder if tonight's show was all right.
Well, I guess it was okay.
We're still on the air, by the way.
Really? Is it still on?
[So, we changed tonight's schedule. That was Totally Naked GinTama.]
[Starting next week, we'll get more serious. So please look forward to it.]
今日の放送 本当に こんなんでよかったんですかね？
まっ いいんじゃねえの？ (神楽)っていうか➡
まだ放送してるｱﾙ｡ あれれ まだやってたの｡