[Cat's Punch] [Note: Spoof of Lupin the 3rd.]
[Anyway, this is GinTama... Not Cat's Punch!!]
[Yamanoi-san, sorry for putting you through all this trouble. (Laughs) The other half is about Odd Jobs Gura-san.]
["Exaggerate the Tales of Your Exploits by a Third, so Everyone Has a Good Time"]
I was quite famous long ago. I traveled to all the galaxies.
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)私も 昔は 鳴らしたもんですよ｡
全銀河を股にかけ…｡
You liar.
(銀時)ｳｿつけ この野郎｡
You're exaggerating, aren't you?!
お前 それ ３割増で 話してねえか？
That's not true.
そんなことないです 私は 世界で一番 小さな➡
I stole the Treasure of Fire from the smallest member of the UN,
[Note: "Treasure of Fire" is the main theme of "Lupin the 3rd: The Castle of Cagliostro" movie. The small old man claiming to be a clone is Mamo from "Lupin the 3rd: Mystery of Mamo" movie.]
国連加盟国から 炎の宝物 盗んだり➡
and defeated a little old man who said he was a clone.
ｸﾛｰﾝ人間を騙るちっちゃいｼﾞｲさん やっつけたんですよ｡
(お登勢)ﾁｬｲﾅ娘！ 雑巾がけはいいから➡
China-girl, you don't need to wipe the floors.
お前はおとなしくしてろ！ ﾊﾞｱさんのお願い!!
Just sit quietly somewhere!! I'm begging you!!
ｵﾗ お前らも働け！
You, too!! Get back to work!!
How many months of rent do you think you've got to pay back?!
家賃 何か月 ためてると思ってんだ！
If you don't have the money, then I'll make you work to pay it!!
(お登勢)金がないなら 働いて返してもらうよ！
それが終わったら 私のﾀﾊﾞｺ 買ってきな｡
Once you're finished with that, buy me some cigarettes.
ﾃﾒｴも働けっつうの！
You can get to work too!!
しかし ﾊﾞｱさん… ｱﾝﾀも物好きだねぇ｡
You sure are odd, Granny.
店の金 かっぱらったｺｿ泥を もう一度 雇うたぁ➡
You're rehiring the thief who robbed money from your store.
いつまた 飼い猫に 手ぇ噛まれるか わからねえだろ｡
She might swindle you again.
あの子は もうやらないよ｡
She won't steal anymore.
約束したからね…｡
We made a promise.
それより お前も働け…｡ (扉の開閉音)
Anyway, you get back to work...
That's not fair of Gin-chan.
(神楽)ずるいよ 銀ちゃん… １人だけ逃げるなんて｡
Taking off like that and leaving us to do it all.
おかげで私たち 仕事量 倍ね｡
Thanks to him, our work has doubled.
(新八)来月になっても 払えないんだったら➡
Otose-san was furious and said that if we don't pay off our rent by next month, she'll kick us out.
出ていってもらうって お登勢さん 怒り狂ってたよ｡
ﾎﾞｸら どうなるんだろう…｡
What are we gonna do?
Do you want this cardboard box?
このﾀﾞﾝﾎﾞｰﾙ あげましょうか？ 住めってか!?
Are you telling us to live in that?! Is that what you're saying?!
それに住めってか!?
ふざけるなよ！ こんなものに住めるわけない！
No way! We can't live in this!! At least make it a large one!!
Ｌｻｲｽﾞにしてよ！ あれ いいのか？ これ｡
Excuse me?! Isn't there something wrong about that?!
間違ってねえか？ これ｡
I won't forgive anyone who gives Otose-san a hard time.
お登勢さんに迷惑かけるﾔﾂは 許しません｡
家賃も払わないお前らなんて➡
Since you don't pay the rent, you rent scofflaws
should get thrown out along with the recycling and garbage!
ﾀﾞﾝﾎﾞｰﾙと一緒に 廃品回収されればいい｡
んだとぉ!? お前なんか 泥棒やってたじゃねえか！
What?! You were the thief, Pig-ears!
その耳 ちぎって ただの団地妻にしてやろうか!?
Shall I rip off those ears and turn you into a trailer-park housewife?!
お前こそ 語尾から ｢ｱﾙ｣ ちぎって➡
And what about you with all your "Uh-huhs"?!
凡庸なｷｬﾗにしてやろうか!?
How about I rip that "Uh-huh" off you and turn you into a normal character?!
Hey, both of you, calm down.
あぁ もう 落ち着いて ２人とも！
うるさいｱﾙ！ お前も顔から ﾒｶﾞﾈちぎりとって➡
Shut up!
Shall I rip the glasses off your face and make you an even wimpier character?!
更に影 薄くしてやろうか!?
Over my dead body!
んだとぉ ｺﾗ！
You jerks have no idea how important the straight man is in this story, do you?
ﾃﾒｴらは この世界における ﾂｯｺﾐの大切さを➡
わかってねえんだよ！
My, my... You're looking well, Catherine.
(ｸﾘｶﾝ)おぅおぅ 元気そうだな ｷｬｻﾘﾝ｡
(ｸﾘｶﾝ)捜したぜ｡
Been looking for you.
ｸ… ｸﾘｶﾝ！
K-Kurikan...
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!
しばらく会わねえうちに 変わったな お前｡
You've changed since I last saw you.
ﾔﾎﾞね… 変わったなんて言葉は➡
How tactless. Only little girls like to hear how they've changed.
若い女しか喜ばない…｡
Mature women like to be told how they haven't changed a bit.
大人の女には 昔と変わらないね って➡
言うものよ｡ ﾊﾝ… そういうところは➡
Your personality is still the same.
相変わらずだ… だが➡
But you had more spunk when we were last teamed up.
ｵﾚたちと つるんでいた頃のお前は➡
もっとﾊﾟﾝﾁがきいてたぜ｡
銀河じゅうのお宝を荒らし回り➡
You went around looting treasures from all over the galaxy,
[Note: Spoof of scene from Charlie's Angels Movie.]
どんな厳重な金庫も 容易にこじ開ける…｡
and you could crack open... any safe with the greatest of ease.
鍵っこｷｬｻﾘﾝといえば 知らねえﾔﾂは いなかった…｡
There wasn't a crook out there...
...who didn't know Latchkey Catherine.
♪♪～
Knock it off. I've given up thieving.
やめてよ… 私は もう 泥棒からは➡
足を洗ったの｡ そうだな…｡
That's right. That's what you said when you left us.
そう言って お前は ｵﾚたちから 去っていった｡
だが 風のｳﾜｻで聞いたが お前…｡
But I've heard rumors that you were thrown into the slammer here on earth.
こっちでﾌﾞﾀ箱 ぶち込まれてたらしいじゃないの｡
盗み癖ってのは ｶﾚｰうどんの汁より➡
The habit of stealing is harder to get rid of than a curry udon stain.
取りにくい… 洗っても 洗っても 落ちゃしないぜ｡
No matter how many times you wash it, it doesn't come out.
What's the point in going straight now?
今更 ﾑﾘして 堅気になったところで➡
どうなるっての… それより どうだ？
Why not join Cat's Punch again?
また ｵﾚたち ｷｬｯﾂﾊﾟﾝﾁに 入らねえか？
Actually, we've got a big job here in Edo.
実はｵﾚたち 江戸で ひと山 狙っててな…｡
ここは 天人と金が 銀河じゅうから集まってきてる｡
Amanto and money from across the galaxy gather here... It's better than catnip.
働きがいがあるぜ…｡
そこで お前の力が借りたいのさ ｷｬｻﾘﾝ…｡
And we need your help to get it, Catherine.
Stop it!!
やめてよ！ 今の女将さんには➡
I'm indebted to the hostel owner now...
世話になってるの… もう裏切ることなんてできない｡
I won't betray her again.
(ｸﾘｶﾝ)わかってるさ んなこたあ｡
I know all about that.
だからこそ これ以上 迷惑かけたくないだろう？
That's why you wouldn't want to cause her any more trouble, right?
最近 ここらは 火事が多いらしいじゃないの｡
Lately, there have been a lot of fires around here.
お前んとこも 気をつけねえとな…｡
Better keep a close watch on your place, too.
You know, don't you?
(ｸﾘｶﾝ)わかるだろ… ｷｬｯﾂﾊﾟﾝﾁは 金のためなら➡
Cat's Punch is capable of anything when money is at stake.
なんでもやるぜ…｡
Kurikan, you bastard...
ｸﾘｶﾝ… ﾃﾒｴ！
Hey, don't look at me like that. This is good for you, too.
おいおい そんな顔するなよ｡
お前にとっても いい話だろ｡
故郷の家族にゃ まだ 仕送りしてんだろ？
You're still sending money to your folks back home, right?
そんな場末のｽﾅｯｸじゃ 稼ぎも知れたもんだろうに｡
You can't earn that much at a seedy snack house like that.
それに お前にゃ 堅気になるのはﾑﾘだ｡
Besides, it's impossible for you to stay honest. Want proof?
その証拠に 今のお前は とても苦しそうに見える｡
I can see it in your face-it's killing you.
そんなにﾑﾘして 堅気にこだわらねえでもさぁ｡
Forget about trying to go clean. You should be proud of your special talents.
自分の特技を活かして 生きればいいじゃない｡
I'll be waiting behind the factory at 3-chome block at 2:00 A.M.
丑の刻 三丁目の工場裏で 待ってるぜ｡
[Otose Snack House]
Oh? Is that so?
へぇ… そうなんだ｡
Is that all you have to say Otose-san?
そうなんだ って お登勢さん！
At this rate, Catherine is going to become a thief again.
このままじゃ ｷｬｻﾘﾝ また泥棒になっちゃいますよ！
Just leave her alone. I figured she'd get back into that life eventually.
ほっときゃいいんじゃね？ いつかやると思ったよ ｵﾚは｡
うわ… 銀さんだ ちっちゃい銀さんだ！
Whoa. It's Gin-san. It's a mini Gin-san.
(扉の開閉音)
That's right. Just leave her alone.
そうそう ほっとけ ほっとけ｡
People without backbones will collapse on their own.
芯のないﾔﾂは ほっといても折れていく｡
Those with a backbone will walk straight even if you leave them alone.
芯のあるﾔﾂは ほっといても まっすぐ歩いてくもんさ｡
なんだい？ これ｡ 結野ｱﾅの限定ﾌｨｷﾞｭｱだ｡
What is this?
It's a limited-edition announcer Ketsuno figurine.
ｵﾚの宝物よ… これで家賃 手ぇ打って…｡
It's my treasure. Take this to cover my rent...
(悲鳴)
Jeez. You're all idiots.
ったく ﾊﾞｶばっかりだよ｡
Just get out of here already.
ｱﾝﾀらも さっさと出ていきな！
♪♪～
Don't come back here again.
((刑務官:もう二度と 戻ってくんじゃねえぞ｡
Okay. Thank you for everything.
はい… お世話になりました｡
(店長)ん？ 天人なんか ｳﾁにはいらねえよ！
[Chanko Dining - Waka]
What?! We don't need any Amanto working here.
And you have a criminal record too? No way! Beat it! Get lost!
しかも前科もちだ？ ふざけんな!! 帰れ 帰れ！
♪♪～
(ｲﾋﾞｷ)
どうやら ﾌﾞﾀ箱に入ったのも ﾑﾀﾞだったみたいだね｡
It looks like getting thrown in the slammer didn't do you any good.
(泣き声)
泣くくらいなら 最初から やるんじゃないよ！
If you're going to cry about it, then don't steal in the first place.
だって 私 何もできない！
But I can't do anything else.
もう これでしか 生きていくことできません！
This is the only thing I know how to do to survive!
(お登勢)ﾊﾞｶ野郎！
You idiot!
うおぉ～っ！
自分の性分 引きずって 苦しむくらいならねぇ…｡
Rather than suffering and complaining about your disposition,
why don't you suffer while trying to change yourself?
自分を変えることに苦しみな！
Then you can cry.
泣くのは それからだぃ！))
♪♪～
(ｸﾘｶﾝ)来たか ｷｬｻﾘﾝ｡
So you showed up, Catherine.
そうだよ その目が見たかった!! ｷｬｯﾂﾊﾟﾝﾁ 再結成だ！
That's right. That's the face I wanted to see.
Cat's Punch is back together again.
あぁ!?
何のﾏﾈだ？
What are you doing?
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ) 悪いけど もう盗みはできない｡
Sorry, but I can't steal anymore. Please forgive me.
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)勘弁してください｡
Huh?! What are you saying? Don't you care what happens to the old lady?!
あぁ!? なに言ってんだ？ ﾃﾒｴ｡
ﾊﾞﾊﾞｱが どうなってもいい…｡
ん!?
あの人にだけは 手を出さないでください！
Please don't lay a hand on her.
そのかわり 私を煮るなり焼くなり 好きにしていい！
Instead, take it out on me.
All right, you damn bitch!!
上等だ！ ｸｿｱﾏ～!!
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)うっ…｡ いつまでも いいこぶりやがって！
You're always acting like you're so high and mighty,
but you crawled out of the same hole we did!!
ﾃﾒｴも ｵﾚらと 同じ穴のﾑｼﾞﾅだろうがよ！
今さら 堅気になんて戻れるか！
You think you can go legit now?! Dream on! Yer a lowly thief!!
ｹﾁな ｺｿ泥が夢みてんじゃねえよ！
うぅっ… うっ…｡
Once you're a thief, that's all you can be for the rest of your life!!
一度 泥につかったﾔﾂはな➡
一生 泥の道 歩いていくしかねえのよ！
おい ﾖｴﾓﾝ！ 刀 貸せ!!
Hey, Yoemon, gimme your sword!!
このｱﾏ 耳を切り取って ただの団地妻にしてやらぁ！
I'm going to cut off this bitch's ears and turn her into an ordinary trailer-park housewife!!
そんなものは ござらん！ あぁ!?
I don't have one.
Huh? You do have one.
お前 持ってたろうが！
I told you, I don't have one you, shit-head!!
持ってねえって言ってんだろう このｸｿ野郎！
ﾃ… ﾃﾒｴは！
Wh-Who are you?!
But I can give you a wooden sword...
だが 木刀なら いつでもくれてやるぜ！
Any time you like!
うわぁ～！
That's that.
よっと…｡
類は友を呼ぶとは よく言ったもんだね｡
As they say, "Birds of a feather flock together."
お前 ろくな人生 送ってねえだろう！
You must have had a crappy life...
まっ ｵﾚも変わんねえか…｡
Well, I guess the same goes for me.
人様に胸張れるような人生 送っちゃいねえ！
You haven't lived a life to be proud of.
まっすぐ走ってきたつもりが いつのまにか泥だらけだ｡
You try to run straight and true, but somewhere along the line you get dirty.
だが… それでも 一心不乱に突っ走ってりゃ➡
But if you keep your eye on the road and keep on going...
いつか 泥も乾いて落ちんだろう｡
sooner or later the dirt will dry up and fall off.
♪♪～
Did you come here to tell me that?
そんなこと言うために 来たんですか｡
坂田さん… あなたﾎﾝﾄに ｱﾎの坂田さんです｡
Sakata-san, you really are a fool.
いや よぉ… 実は ﾊﾞﾊﾞｱに 家 追い出されて➡
Well... Actually, granny kicked me out,
今日は 土管で寝ようと思ったんだが➡
so I figured I was gonna sleep in the gutter tonight.
ｷｬｻﾘﾝ お前 助けてやったんだから➡
Catherine, I helped you out; so could you put in a good word for me? Please.
家賃のこと 口利きしてくんねえか？ お願い｡
ですって！ どうですかね？
So he says.
How about it? We worked off about three months' worth of rent.
家賃３か月分くらいの働きは したんじゃないですか？
ﾊﾞｶか… お前｡
What are you, nuts?
(お登勢)ひと月分だよ｡
One month-that's it.
["Men Have a Weakness for Girls Who Sell Flowers and Work in Pastry Shops"]
[Odd Jobs Gin]
(銀時の咳)
(咳)
My mommy said that fools never catch colds. So how?
(神楽)私のﾏﾐｰが言ってたよ ﾊﾞｶは風邪ひかないって｡
なのに なぜｱﾙか？
How'd you do it?
ねぇ なぜ ｱﾙか？ うるさいんだよ お前は｡
Shut up. Go away.
あっち行ってろ！
(神楽)ん？ いいなぁ それ… かっけえな！
That sure is nice. It sure is cool...
私も つけたいなぁ！
I want to wear one, too.
何なんだよ ｺｲﾂ｡
What's wrong with you?
おい お前 何やってんだ？ ｢冷えぴたん｣ もうねえんだぞ！
Hey, what are you doing?
We don't have any more cooling gel packs.
銀さん お粥できました｡
Gin-san, your rice porridge is ready.
すみません… あんま食欲ないんですけど｡
Sorry, but I'm not very hungry.
食べないと治りませんよ｡
You won't get better if you don't eat. Eat, sweat, and sleep.
食べて汗かいて寝る… それが いちばん風邪に効くんです｡
That's the best way to cure a cold.
Hey! Why are you eating and sweating?!
って なんで お前が 食べて汗かいてんの？
Shinpachi, I'm feeling kind of sick, too. What'll I do?
新八… なんか私も➡
具合悪くなってきたような 気がするｱﾙ｡
どうしよう… ﾏｽｸして お粥 食べないと ﾀﾞﾒかな これ｡
Will I have to put on a mask and eat rice porridge? This isn't good.
ﾀﾞﾒだぞ これ｡ ｳｿつくんじゃないよ！
Don't lie!!
(神楽)んだよ～ 銀ちゃんばっかり ずるいｱﾙ！
Come on... It's not fair that only Gin-chan gets to do this.
He gets to eat rice porridge and wear a mask.
お粥 食べてﾏｽｸして ちょっとしたﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰｱﾙ！
It's like a party. I want to catch a cold.
私も 風邪ひきたいね！ ﾊﾞｶだろ お前…｡
You're an idiot. Go catch a cold. Catch a head cold.
風邪をひけ… 頭が風邪をひけ！
風邪ひいたからって あんま調子に乗んなよ 天ﾊﾟ！
Don't get cocky just because you caught a cold, moppy head.
私だって その気になれば➡
I can catch a flu any time I want. Don't underestimate me.
いつでも ｲﾝﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞに 蝕まれるね！ ﾅﾒんなよ!!
ﾊﾞｶだよ やっぱ ｺｲﾂ ﾊﾞｶだ！ (玄関のﾁｬｲﾑ)
She's an idiot. She's a real idiot.
Oh no. We had a job today.
あぁ やべえ！ 今日 仕事 入ってたんだ｡
ちょっとﾑﾘですよ 40度も熱あるんですよ！
That's a little impossible. You have a 40-degree fever.
[NOTE: 104º Fahrenheit]
We can't turn down a job.
仕事 断るわけには いかねえだろう｡
I can't leave this to idiots who can't even catch a cold in wintertime.
この寒いなか 風邪もひかねえﾊﾞｶどもに➡
任せちゃおけねえってんだ！ こら 待つｱﾙ!!
Hey.
Wait. Why are you calling me an idiot?
誰が ﾊﾞｶだって？
(みち子) すみません… おじゃまします｡
Excuse me. I'm coming in. I requested a job the other day.
先日 仕事の依頼を した者なんですが すみません…｡
Excuse me...
(神楽)おいおい ﾉｯｸもなしに➡
Hey, hey, walking in without knocking? What an impolite client.
ｽﾞｶｽﾞｶ人の家に 入り込んでくるとは➡
ずいぶんと ぶしつけな お客さんだ！
She pushed the intercom button.
ｲﾝﾀｰﾎﾝ押してたよ｡
What do you want? I'm Odd Jobs Gura-san.
何の用だい？ 万事屋ｸﾞﾗちゃんとはｵﾚのことｱﾙ｡
なんの用って あの…➡
What do I want? Umm... I'm Kawasaki. I asked you to find out if my husband was cheating on me.
浮気調査の件で こちらに 依頼をした➡
川崎ですけれども…｡
Yeah, yeah, I'm listening.
(神楽)あ～ はいはい｡ 聞いてるぜ～｡
Patsuan, pour her some tea.
ぱっつぁん｡ 茶 出してやんなさい｡
Kagura-chan, don't act like that in front of our client.
神楽ちゃん！ お客さんの前で その態度は ないよ！
ほとんど 顔 見えないし！ うるせえな～！
She can barely see your face, too.
Shut up. He's always like this.
なんか こんな感じだろうが ｱｲﾂは…｡
銀さんは お客さんには ちゃんと 対応するよ！
Gin-san corresponds with the clients.
(神楽)はいはい｡ ぱっつぁんの言うとおり！
Yeah, yeah. So you say...
で… 浮気調査の件なんですけど➡
So...
About the investigation...
ご主人に 浮気をしてる疑いが あると…？
You suspect that your husband is cheating on you?
そうなの｡ 間違いないのよ｡
Yes. There's no mistake.
Lately, he's been coming home late every day, and his clothes smell of women's perfume.
最近 毎晩 帰ってくるのが遅いし➡
着物から 女ものの 香水の匂いが するのよ｡
Ma'am, we can't assume he's been cheating solely on that evidence.
奥さん… それだけの証拠じゃ 浮気とは 断定できないｱﾙな～｡
多いんですよ～ 被害妄想というか➡
There are a lot of paranoid drama queens out there who act like tragic heroines like you.
悲劇の ﾋﾛｲﾝ気取りというのか… 奥さんのような 輩がね｡
Are you sure you're not imagining it?
(神楽)思い込みじゃないｱﾙかね？ ちょっと ちょっと～！
Hey, hey!
ぱっつぁん… どうにも ｵﾚは 気乗りしねえｱﾙ｡
Patsuan, I don't feel like taking this case. Can I go eat a parfait?
ﾊﾟﾌｪ 食いにいって いいかい？ なに 言ってんの!? ちょっと！
What are you saying?! Hey!!
銀さんっぽいけれども なに 言ってんの～!?
That's what Gin-san would say, but why are you saying it?!
Hey!! You accepted my request over the phone yesterday!!
ちょっと～！ 昨日 電話で 引き受けてくれたじゃないの～！
This is not what we agreed on.
話が 違うわよ！ (神楽)気に食わねえんだよ～！
I just don't like it.
子供たちの前で 平気で 父ちゃんの悪口を 言うなんざ…｡
You're speaking ill of these kids' father right in front of them.
He may be a good-for-nothing husband, but to them...
ｱﾝﾀにとっちゃあ ろくでもない旦那でも➡
He's their precious dad.
ｺｲﾂらにとっちゃあ 大事な 父ちゃんｱﾙぜ…｡
そ… それは…｡
W-Well...
銀さんだ！ ちっちゃい 銀さんだ！
It's Gin-san!! It's a mini Gin-san!!
Ｂﾊﾟｰﾄ 始まって ３分にして 説教ﾓｰﾄﾞだ！
We're only three minutes into Part B and she's already in lecture mode.
私だって 子供たちを➡
I didn't want to bring my children here!!
こんなところに 連れてきたくは なかった…｡
But my husband just keeps quiet when I ask him if he's been cheating.
でも 浮気のこと 問いただしても あの人 黙ってるだけで…｡
I couldn't take it anymore, so I left...
私 我慢できなくなって 飛び出して…｡
(みち子) 別れる覚悟は できてるの｡
I'm prepared to leave him!!
But he won't admit to the cheating or accept the divorce.
でも 浮気のことも 離婚のことも 認めてくれなくて…｡
I want definitive proof that he was cheating!! If I do...
証拠が 欲しいの！ あの人が 浮気してるって➡
確実な 証拠が！ そうすれば…！
Sorry, but I'm going to have to turn you down.
(神楽)悪いが ごめんこうむるぜ｡
We can't go looking for proof that'll take away their father from them.
(神楽)ｺｲﾂらから 父ちゃんを奪う 証拠を 見つけるなんざ➡
ｵﾚたちには できねえｱﾙ｡
Come on. Let's go, Patsuan.
さぁ いくぜ ぱっつぁん｡ えっ？ どこに!?
Huh? Where?
変わらぬ 愛の証拠を 見つけにさ…｡
We're going to find proof of his undying love...
Gura-san!!
ｸﾞﾗさ～ん!!
Th-Thank you very much!!
ありがとう ございます！ よろしく お願いします！
This means so much to me.
(はしゃぎ声)
ｸﾞﾗさん ｲｹるよ！
Gura-san, this is great!!
なんか 銀さん いなくても ﾎﾞｸら ｲｹるんじゃないの!?
It looks like we can do this even without Gin-san. Don't you think?!
おいおい… あんまり しゃべるんじゃねえぜ｡
Hey, hey, don't talk so much. You'll bite your tongue.
舌 噛むｱﾙぜ｡ ｸﾞﾗさ～ん!!
Gura-san!
仕事する前に ﾌｧﾐﾚｽでも 寄ってくか？
Before we start working, why don't we go to a family restaurant?
糖分 切れて ｲﾗｲﾗするｱﾙぜ｡ ｸﾞﾗさ～ん!!
My blood-sugar is low and I'm getting irritated.
Gura-san!
Come to think of it, JUMP goes on sale today.
そういや 今日 ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣の発売日ｱﾙぜ｡
Why don't we go to the convenience store?
ｺﾝﾋﾞﾆ 寄ってくか？ ｸﾞﾗさ～ん!!
Gura-san!
What's that thing that completely hopeless guy always wears?
[Note: "Gurasan" is slang for "sunglasses" in Japanese.]
ﾏﾀﾞｵが かけてる あれは？ ｸﾞﾗｻﾝ!!
Gura-san!
Gura-san, the client's husband apparently works at a place called the Kunoichi Cafe.
ｸﾞﾗさん｡ 旦那さんは くノ一ｶﾌｪってところに➡
勤めてるんだって｡ まずは 職場での動向を➡
Let's secretly spy on him at his place of business first.
こっそり 観察しよう｡ 浮気っていうのは➡
Affairs often start in the workplace.
職場内で起こる場合が 多いらしいよ｡
ったく 人間ってﾔﾂは➡
Jeez. Humans are so pathetic and have no self-control...
どいつも こいつも 目先のｴｻに 弱いと きやがる…｡
だが ｵﾚは 信じたいね～｡
But I want to believe in the bond of a married couple.
夫婦の絆ってﾔﾂを…｡
Gura-san, you're not Gin-san anymore. You're a completely different character.
ｸﾞﾗさ～ん!! なんか もう 銀さんっていうか➡
別のｷｬﾗに なっちゃってるけど いいよ ｸﾞﾗさ～ん!!
But that's great, Gura-san!!
[Kunoichi Café]
Oh, Gura-san, that's the cafe.
あっ！ ｸﾞﾗさん あのｶﾌｪだよ｡
Let's put some spirit into this, Patsuan.
気合い入れて いくｱﾙぜ ぱっつぁん！
We've got to prove that we can do this even if Gin-chan's not here.
銀ちゃん いなくても ｵﾚらだけで やれるとこ➡
見せてやるｱﾙぜ！ ﾍﾏすんなよ～!!
Don't screw it up!!
ｸﾞﾗさ～ん!!
Gura-san!!
ｸﾞ… ｸﾞﾗさん…➡
Gura-san, Gin-san is irresponsible, but he usually parks safely.
確かに 銀さんは ｱﾊﾞｳﾄだけれども 駐車は 慎重だよ…｡
ｱｲﾂの名を 出すな…｡
Don't say his name. I don't want to live in his shadow anymore.
もう ｱｲﾂの影に縛られるのは ごめんだ…｡
ｵﾚは… 自由に 生きるのさ…！
I'm going to live free...
Gura-san!! Who are you?! Who are you now?
ｸﾞﾗさん…！ もう 誰!? 誰なの!? それ！
Manager, there was an accident outside!!
(店員)店長！ 表で 事故が…！
Hey!
(店長)おい～！ ｷﾐたちか～？ これ やったのは…｡
Did you do this?
(店長)おい！ 警察に 連絡してくれ｡
Hey, call the police.
ｸﾞ… ｸﾞﾗさん あれ…｡ (店長)ちょっと～！
[Manager Kawasaki]
G-Gura-san, look.
Hey, come here, you two. You're minors, aren't you?
ｷﾐたち こっち来なさい！ 未成年だね？
旦那さんだよ あれ…｡ やばいよ…｡
It's the client's husband. This is bad.
How are you going to take responsibility for this?
We can't secretly spy on him now. He's already noticed us.
こっそり 観察するどころか ﾊﾞｯﾁﾘ 見つかっちゃったよ～！
(店長)とりあえず 家の電話番号を 教えて｡
Anyway, give me your home phone numbers. I'm going to contact your parents.
(店長)親に 連絡するから｡
I forgot that a long time ago.
(神楽)ｿｲﾂは もう 遠い昔に 忘れちまったｱﾙな～｡
(店長)電話番号 忘れちゃったの!? しようがないな～｡
You forgot your own phone number?!
Oh well... What about your address?!
じゃあ 住所は？ (神楽)この 青い空の下➡
I think of all the land under this blue sky as my home.
大地の すべてが ｵﾚの住みかだと 思っている｡
I'm a lone monkey with the heart of a samurai.
猿１匹 心は 侍｡
(店長)うざいんだけど この子！ (さっちゃん)店長➡
This girl is annoying!!
Manager, wait.
待ってください｡ それ 私の知り合いです｡
I know them.
(さっちゃん)銀さん… 銀さんよね？
Gin-san... You're Gin-san, right?
さっちゃんさん！
Sachan-san...
Hey, you pig, nice rack. Gimme. Let me at 'em.
よぉ～！ 相変わらず 乳 でけえな～｡
くれ｡ それ ｵﾚに くれ｡ やっぱり 銀さんだわ｡
You really are Gin-san. You've gotten so small, but I can tell it's you.
こんなに ちっちゃく 変わってしまったけれど➡
私には わかる…｡ さっちゃんさん…➡
Sachan-san, you need new glasses.
もう ﾒｶﾞﾈ替えたほうが いいですよ…｡
どうしたの？ こんな 縮んじゃって…｡
Why are you so small?
It happened because of this accident...
さっき 事故っちまって この ｻﾞﾏさ…｡
こんなｵﾚでも くれ｡ その乳 ｵﾚに くれ｡
Now gimme some sugar, baby. Give those breasts to me.
Don't worry. I'll raise you on my breast milk! I'm all yours.
心配しなくても 銀さんは 私の母乳で 立派に育ててあげる！
私は 銀さんのものだから！
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
おい おい おい おい！ ちょっと 猿飛さん！
Sarutobi-san, this is a public area! What do you think you're doing?!
公衆の面前で なに やってんの!?
一丁前に ｼﾞｪﾗｼｰか!? この野郎!!
Getting jealous, are you?!
Gura-san, what are you doing?
ｸﾞﾗさ～ん！ なに やってんの～!?
Patsuan, you sure are dense.
(神楽)ぱっつぁん 鈍い野郎ｱﾙな｡
You're not popular with the ladies because you don't understand the subtleties of love.
お前は 恋愛の 細かい機敏が わからねえから ﾓﾃないｱﾙぜ…｡
えっ？ まさか さっちゃんさんが 旦那さんの 浮気相手!?
Huh?! Do you mean the client's husband is having an affair with Sachan-san?!
そのとおり！
That's right!!
When I flirted with that sow, your husband fell for my trap.
ｵﾚが この ﾒｽﾌﾞﾀと 乳ｸﾘｸﾘ合ってたら➡
ｱﾝﾀの旦那… みごとに 罠に かかってくれましてね～｡
He jumped in as if to say, "Don't touch those boobs. They're mine!"
ｵﾚの乳に 触るな～！ と 言わんばかりに➡
飛びかかってきました！ (店長)そんなこと➡
I didn't say anything like that!!
ひと言も 言ってないぞ！ ってか みち子！
Anyway, Michiko, what are you doing in a place like this?!
お前 こんなところで なに やってんだ!?
Don't act dumb.
とぼけちゃ いけねえｱﾙぜ｡ みち子のｼﾞｪﾗｼｰは 置き去りに➡
Putting aside Michiko's jealousy, you're quite jealous about your lover.
ｱﾝﾀは 一丁前に 愛人に ｼﾞｪﾗｼｰたぁ➡
どういう了見ｱﾙか？ ｸﾞﾗさん！
What do you have to say about that?
Gura-san, don't you think you're making too many assumptions?
いくらなんでも それは 決めつけすぎじゃないの？
あれで 愛人と決めつけるなんて➡
It's a little rash to presume they're having an affair simply because of that.
思い込み 激しすぎだって｡ (みち子)ｺﾗｰ!!
Hey!!
You lecher... Is it mistress A?! B?! Or Z?!
この ｽｹﾍﾞ野郎が～!! Ａか!? Ｂか!? Ｚか～!?
Ma'am, you, too!!
奥さんも～!!
Honestly, it's an inconvenience to be caught up in this mess.
正直… こんな騒ぎに 巻き込まれたら 迷惑なんだけど｡
Aside from you, Gin-san, I think all men are scum.
私は 銀さん以外の異性は ｶｽだと思っているの｡
眼中にないの｡ いいかげん 気づいてよ 銀さん｡
I couldn't care less about them. Can't you see that, Gin-san?
お前が気づけっ!!
Realize who you're talking to!!
ﾌﾝ… すっとぼけちゃいけねえｱﾙよ｡
Stop playing dumb, Sachan, you masochistic tramp.
この ﾏｿﾞっ娘さっちゃん｡ お前 あれだろ？
Gin-chan never takes notice of you.
銀ちゃんが いつまでたっても 振り向いてくれないから➡
押してﾀﾞﾒなら引いてみようと あんな汚ねえ ｵｯｻﾝと➡
Since forcing yourself on him doesn't work,
過ちを 犯しちゃったんじゃないの？
you tried to get his attention by being indiscreet with that dirty man.
押してﾀﾞﾒなら引く？ 何それ どういう作戦なの？
Forcing myself on him didn't work, so I tried to get his attention?
What is that? What kind of plan is that?
They say that when someone who's doggedly hung around you
ふだん うっとおしく つきまとってくるﾔﾂが➡
急に引くと なんだか 寂しくなって ｿｲﾂの大切さが➡
suddenly pulls away, you feel sad and realize how important that person is.
身にしみるらしいｱﾙぜ｡
うげ～っ!! お前は ﾎﾝﾄにひくわぁ！
You're so repulsive!! You already have three children.
子供とか もう３人もいるのにさ Ｚなんて ﾎﾝﾄ ひくわ！
I oughta run you over you with a real cart!
Ma'am, flatten him anymore and you'll be serving breakfast, not divorce papers.
奥さん ひくの意味 違うから！
You're jumping to conclusions!
ｱﾝﾀ 人の言うこと 鵜呑みにしすぎ!!
♪♪(三味線)
I'm your mother, your [bleep], baby...
♪♪｢お前の母ちゃん××｣ お前もかい～!!
And so are you!!
おっ 落ち着け！ お前 まだ あのこと 疑ってんのか？
C-Calm down!! Are you still suspicious about that?!
ｵﾚは 猿飛さんとは 浮気なんて… ぐえっ!!
I wasn't having an affair with Sarutobi-san.
とは ってなんじゃｺﾗｧｧｧ～ｯ!!
What do you mean?!
That just means...
(みち子)猿飛さん以外とは 何か あったってことじゃないの？
You had an affair with someone other than Sarutobi-san.
ねぇ 猿飛さん｡ (さっちゃん)そういえば 最近➡
Right, Sarutobi-san?
Come to think of it, he's been rather friendly with Waki-san.
脇さんと ﾌｶﾞﾌｶﾞした感じになってたわね｡
Hey, Sarutobi-san, don't say anything like that!!
(店長)ちょっと 猿飛さん 余計なこと言わないでぇ～！
(みち子)ﾌｶﾞﾌｶﾞって何？ Ｚか？ Ｚなのか？ つうかＺって何だ!?
What do you mean, "friendly"?! Z?!! Is it Z?!! Anyway, what is Z?
Gura-san, it looked as if we were taking a detour,
ｸﾞﾗさん 回り道したようで 意外と核心に近づいたね｡
but unexpectedly, we've gotten closer to the heart of the matter.
(神楽)計算どおりｱﾙ｡ すべては あの男を追いつめて➡
It's as I planned.
This is a plan to corner that man and make him spill everything.
ﾎﾞﾛを出させる作戦ｱﾙぜ｡ 知ってた？ ぱっつぁん｡
Didn't you know that, Patsuan?
いや 知りたくもなかった そんな負け惜しみ｡
No. I didn't even want to get involved in this mess.
All we have to do now is catch that woman and make her confess in front of the client.
あとは その女 ひっつかまえて 奥さんの前で自白させればｵｯｹｰね｡
さっちゃんさんの 同僚って言ってた｡
Sachan-san said that she was a coworker.
今日は 店 休んで 実家の花屋の手伝いしてるって｡
She's not working at the shop today.
She's helping out at her family's flower shop.
男は 花屋とか ｹｰｷ屋とかに弱いｱﾙな｡
Men are always suckers for girls who work at flower shops or cake shops.
ﾊﾞｶだよな 将来の夢が おもちゃ屋 って言ってる子供くらい ﾊﾞｶｱﾙな｡
They sure are stupid.
It's as stupid as a kid who says he wants to work in a toy store when he's older.
でもいいのかなぁ？ 奥さん なんやかんやで➡
But is this all right?
The client looked as if she didn't want to break up with her husband.
ﾎﾝﾄは 旦那さんと 別れたくないように見えたよ｡
それに ｸﾞﾗさんが言ったとおり 子供たちがかわいそう｡
And, as you said, this is rough on the children... Is this really all right?
ﾎﾝﾄにいいのかな？ これで…｡
銀さんなら どうするかな？
I wonder what Gin-san would do?
あっ そこの花屋だよ｡
[Many Flowers]
Oh, that's the flower shop.
(衝撃音) (神楽/新八)うわぁ!!
So what really happened?
…で どうなの？ 実際のところ｡ (店長)やってませんよ｡
I didn't do anything.
わかりますよ あんなｶﾐさんじゃ 他の女に逃げたくなる気持も…｡
Well, I understand.
With a wife like that, I can understand wanting to run away to another woman.
(店長)やってないって 言ってるでしょう｡
I told you, I didn't do anything.
But the fact that she's gotten so mad is proof that she loves you.
でも あんだけ 怒り狂うってことは➡
ｱﾝﾀに惚れてるって 証拠だからね これ…｡
I told you, I didn't do anything, damn it.
(店長)だから やってないって 言ってんだろ この野郎｡
花屋かぁ… いいなぁ｡
Flower-shop girl, huh? That's nice.
The cake-shop girl is nice, too. Hey, I told you I didn't do anything.
あと ｹｰｷ屋とかもいいですよね｡
って やってないって 言ってんでしょ｡
じゃあ 脇さんのところに 毎日のように通ってたのは➡
Then why did you go to Waki-san's place almost every day?
何だったんですか？ それは…｡
Well...
花屋の花びらを あれだろ？ この野郎｡
It's to you-know-what with the flower-shop girl's flower petals.
お前ら ﾎﾝﾄ いいかげんにしろよ｡
Both of you, cut it out already.
(店長)内緒ですよ ｶﾐさんには…｡
Keep this a secret from my wife...
(全蔵)おいおい どうした？ これ｡
Hey, what went on here?
ちょっと聞いてよ 全蔵｡ なんか 店に いきなり➡
Listen, Zenzo, a dirty scooter suddenly crashed into the shop!
汚いﾊﾞｲｸが突っ込んできて…｡
Really? The shop's a mess.
ﾏｼﾞでか？ 店 ﾒﾁｬｸﾁｬじゃねえか｡
The shop's fine. Customers never come anyway.
店はいいのよ｡ どうせ 客なんか来ないから｡
ただね 私のﾊﾞｲﾄ先の店長がね 今年 結婚10周年らしくて➡
The manager of the place where I work part-time
has been married to his wife for ten years.
奥さんに 花で作った絵を 贈りたいとか言うから➡
He asked me to help make a picture out of flowers for his wife.
私 手伝ってあげてたの｡
I was helping him make a portrait of his wife out of flowers. It was painstaking work.
花で 奥さんの 似顔絵を描くという力作よ｡
一生懸命やってたのに 店長｡
He worked so hard, too.
崩れて すっかり ﾌﾞｻｲｸになちゃって…｡
But It's ruined and totally ugly now.
(全蔵)ﾌﾞｻｲｸか？ ｵﾚはいけるよ これくらいだったら｡
Ugly? I think this looks just about right.
(脇)ｱﾝﾀ ﾌﾞｽ専だからよ｡ これ きっついわよ｡
That's because you like ugly women.
This is bad. I'd commit suicide if I received this.
こんなん贈られたら 自殺するわよ！
…ということなんですよ｡
That's my story. Oh, don't tell her, okay? Don't tell her.
これ 絶対に言わないでね 言わないでね｡
ﾍﾟｯ！ 何それ！ 自分の家でﾂﾊﾞ吐いたよ！
What is that?! You spit in your own home.
ｱﾝﾀも すみにおけないねぇ｡
You're pretty crafty. That's a pretty elegant thing to do. Tsk!!
なかなか 粋なことするじゃないか ﾁｯ！
Hey, hey, hey, hey, it sounded like you clucked your tongue.
いやいやいや 舌打ち聞こえたんですけど！
浮気の話のとき あんなに楽しそうだったよねぇ？
You sounded so pleased when you thought I was cheating.
That means they might bring that portrait back with them.
じゃあ ｱｲﾂら その絵 持って帰ってくるかもしれねえな｡
ああ見えて 気の回るﾔﾂらだから｡
They may not look it, but they're pretty considerate.
(店長)ﾎﾝﾄですか？ まいったなぁ｡
Really? I'm glad. I can finally show it to her.
ついに ｱｲﾂに見せるときがきたか｡
I hid it even though she thought I was cheating on her.
浮気 疑われても 我慢して隠してたんだ｡
ｱｲﾂ 驚くだろうな｡ (戸が開く音)
She'll be surprised.
(店長)あっ 戻ってきた｡ 持ってる 何か持ってる… あれ？
Oh, they're back. They've brought something. They have something.
Huh?
奥さん…｡ 旦那さんからの贈り物です｡
Ma'am...
This is a present from your husband.
なんか えらいｼﾝﾌﾟﾙに なってるんですけどっ！
It looks like it's been simplified quite a bit...
Present? What is that?
贈り物？ 何それ？
Your husband wasn't having an affair. He was secretly making this for you.
旦那さんは 浮気なんかしてませんでした｡
これを 奥さんに内緒で作るために こそこそ やってたようです｡
私に？
For me?
[To Machiko]
Her name is Michiko! They got her name wrong!
それ みち子～！ 名前 間違ってるぅ～!!
Who the hell is Machiko?! Don't make fun of me!
まち子って誰だｺﾗｧｯ!!
ﾊﾞｶにすんのも たいがいにしろぉ～!!
Michiko, wai...
(店長)みち子！ 待って… ちょっと！
Hey!! What have you done?
ｱﾝﾀら 何してくれてんの～！
Hey, what is this?
(男)おいおい 何だ？ これ｡ 誰だ？ こんなｲﾀｽﾞﾗしたの｡
[Machiko Machiko Machiko...]
Who did this?
花びらで 字が書いてあるわ｡
There are names written in flower petals.
That's a pretty tedious prank.
また 手の込んだｲﾀｽﾞﾗを…｡
♪♪～
[Machiko Machiko Machiko...]
[Michiko Michiko Michiko]
[Odd Jobs Gin]
…ﾍｯｸｼｮﾝ！
I couldn't remember if she was Machiko or Michiko.
(神楽)まち子だか みち子だか わけわかんなくなってきたｱﾙ｡
あれ？ どっちでしたっけ？ ﾊﾞｶだろ お前ら やっぱ ﾊﾞｶだろ！
Which was it?
You're stupid. You two really are stupid.
まち子だよ まち子｡
It's Machiko. Machiko.
ﾍｯｸｼｮﾝ!!
The next episode... "Play Video Games for Only An Hour A Day."
Or else I won't give you any snacks!
[Gintoki and the gang stand in line to get the newest game console, the Bentendo OwEe.]
[Note: Parody of Nintendo Wii.]
[But before they do, Katsura and the Shinsengumi appear. The battle for the OwEe begins.]