♪♪～
[In order to track down the alien gamers, Odd Jobs dives into the popular "Monkey Hunter" game.]
[Note: Parody of the Monster Hunter game.]
[It's not "Monster." It's "Monkey," so it'll be okay! At least it should be...]
♪♪～
["Imagination Is Nurtured In the 8th Grade"]
(新八)来た～！ ﾊﾝﾀｰ来た！ 来たよ これは来た｡
ものすごい 強そう！ 間違いなく一流のﾊﾝﾀｰだ!!
[Internet café]
早速 勧誘だ！
He's here! A hunter is here!
He's here! He's really here!
向こうからきたよ しかも 見た目 怖いけど いい人そうだ！
He seems incredibly strong! He's without a doubt, a first-rate hunter.
We've got to recruit him!
Thank you. You saved us. You're very strong. Do you hunt alone?
I have no friends (lol). Won't you join me in the hunt (lol)?
He wants to join us! He looks scary, but he seems to be nice enough.
Yes, by all means!
We're novices and don't have a clue. I'm Patsuan. (lol)
Ginko here. (lol)
I'm Kaguura Jasuanto. (cry)
笑いの上に(笑)つけてるよ すごいよ すごい いい人だ！
Why (cry)? Why're you sad?
I'm on a quest for revenge. It's going to be a hellish journey.
Cut out that 8th-grader storyline.
Ahahahahaha (lol).
Forgive me. (lol) This (lol) is a habit of mine. (lol)
He puts (lol) after he laughs. Hilarious. He's an awesome guy.
There was an argument about this on the Net.
(桂)って何!? 速攻で 正体ﾊﾞﾗしたよ この人！
It's often difficult to convey feelings in text.
何やってるの！ いい加減 攘夷活動しろよ!!
So we write in our emotions to avoid misunderstandings.
Forgive me. I got sidetracked and haven't introduced myself. (lol)
I'm Fruit Punch Samurai G. Pleased to meet you. (Katsura)
おい～！ ｶｯｺの中 具体的すぎるだろ!!
書いちゃいけない 感情まで書いてるぞ～！
(Katsura)...you mean?!
This guy reveled his identity right from the start!
ｳｿつけ～！ ｶｯｺでｳｿつくな!!
What're you doing here? Get back to your Anti-Foreigner Faction activities!
What do you all do in real life?
(It probably can't be anything good seeing as you're playing games in the afternoon.)
Hey! You're being way too honest in the parentheses!
You're writing feelings you shouldn't write!
We're just gamers. (pilot)
中２設定の説明すんじゃねえ！ そのときって いつだ!!
Don't lie! Don't lie in the parentheses!
いつ つけられたんだ それ！
I'm just a traveler.
(But when my back is against the wall,
丸わかりだけど 体裁で聞いといてやるか｡
my second personality awakens and I become a hard-nosed berserker...
My mortal enemy, the shining Knight Shezard, is actually my older brother.
He gave me this cross-shaped scar on my face.)
Stop explaining your 8th-grader storyline!
お前もかい～！
When did that happen? When did you get that scar?!
《桂:実は 謎のUFOに ｷｬﾄﾙﾐｭｰﾃｨﾚｰｼｮﾝされ➡
What are you in real life, Fruit Punch Samurai G?
体をﾄﾞﾗｲﾊﾞｰに 無断改造されまして…》
I'm totally on to you, but I'll ask as a courtesy.
Me? I'm...
a screwdriver. (+)
[Note: (+) stands for Phillips screwdriver.]
You, too?!
I was subjected to alien abduction by a mysterious UFO.
My body was modified without my consent.
I'm playing this game to pursue the alien gamers. Do you know anything?
Huh?
Just a minute... (sad)
He's a nuisance. Let's kick him out and find someone else.
Gosh. There were other victims besides us.
Just a minute. Let's hunt together...
Hey, I thought I told you not to show your face around here.
If you're going to come here, I told you to change your name first,
Fruit Punch Samurai G.
You're... (anger)
Fruit Chinpo Samurai G!
何か… こんな展開 前にも見たんですけど…｡
You're still in this game?
How many times have I told you to change your confusing name? (anger)
[Note: "Punch" is "ponchi" in Japanese. "Ponchi" spelled backwards is "Chinpo" which means "penis."]
You're the one who has to change his name.
I will not allow anyone to use the name "Fruit."
[Fruit Chinpo Samurai G] [Bow User]
[Fruit Ponchi Samurai G] [Cannon User]
I think I've seen this scenario before.
[Note: Refers to Ep. 34]
Let's do this!
お前もかい～！
You missed! Where are you aiming, Fruit Punch Samurai G?
Your arrows look like they're not even moving to me, Fruit Chinpo Samurai G!
What are you in real life anyway?!
I'm a screwdriver.
You, too?!
What...?! Chinpo Samurai G...not you, too...?! (surprise)
違うんですけど～！ なんか ｱﾝﾀだけ➡
ｻﾞ･ﾌﾗｲ的な別件に 巻き込まれてるんですけど！
Fruit Punch Samurai G...you, too?!
Th-That's impossible! There were others...?
適当に合わせてるよ！
There were others who entered the transporter device not knowing a screwdriver had fallen inside,
本当に違うからね 全然 別の事件だからね！
and had their body fused with a screwdriver at the genetic level?!
[Note: Reference from the movie "The Fly".]
That's totally different! Only you were involved in "The Fly" accident!
That's shocking... (I have no idea what he's talking about.)
He's going with the flow!
なんね～よ！ この人のは なんねえよ!!
At any rate, we're both fighting the wrong enemy.
何 いい加減なこと言ってんの？
Totally wrong! This is a totally different incident!
Did it happen to you people, too?
Well, yeah. Anyway, let's capture the alien gamers-they're in here somewhere.
They can help him.
最初っから 狂戦士だろうが おめ～ら！
No, they can't! Not him! What an irresponsible thing to say!
Don't slow us down.
(I say such spiteful things, but Kaguura never ignores people in need.
However, when my back is against the wall,
my second personality awakens and I become a hard-nosed berserker.
You were a hard-nosed berserker from the start!
You say you're going to find the alien gamers...but how?
This game is filled with gamers from all over the galaxy.
Besides, their appearance will be totally different from how they appear in real life.
How will you find and recognize them?
We need to find M. (passion)
M...? That's impossible! He's just a myth!
Even if he is, we have no other way out of this difficult situation.
(桂)創世記より この世界に存在し 世界のすべてを知り尽くし➡
We have to find M. (passion)
But...
世界の すべてを狩った者｡
Just a minute. Just what is M?
伝説のﾊﾝﾀｰ それが｢Ｍ｣だ！
You don't know? (ass)
(Ass)?! Are you saying I'm stupid? You better not mean that!
この世界の すべてを知る ｢Ｍ｣ならば➡
きっと ｹﾞｰﾏｰ星人の居所も 知っているはず！
Codename M.
確証はないがＤ-51地区で➡
He has existed since Genesis.
｢Ｍ｣らしき人物を 見かけたという噂を聞いた｡
He is all-knowing and has hunted throughout this entire world.
(近藤)Ｄ-51地区？
一流のﾊﾝﾀｰも逃げ出す 神獣どもの巣じゃないか！
The legendary hunter...M.
♪♪～
If he's all-knowing, he must know where the alien gamers are.
There's no guarantee, but I've heard rumors that someone resembling M
was last seen in Area D-51.
Area D-51? That's the lair of mythical beasts that even top-class hunters fear.
So this is Area D-51...gives me the creeps.
Be wary. The monkeys that live here are of the highest level.
(叫び声)
If you encounter one, don't fight it under any circumstances.
We'd be no match for it. (fear)
I can't believe anyone would be in such a frightening place like this.
Exactly. Only monsters dwell here.
So if you see a human-like shadow, you can assume it is M. (resolve)
Did you hear something?
A howl...like that of some kind of beast.
♪♪～
Could it be the enemy?!
No, it sounds different!
Look! A human-like form!
No, it can't be! Could this be M? Is this really M?
Th-That's...!
Oh no! Someone's been strung up to roast! Hurry and get her down!
She's still breathing.
She must've been captured by the monkeys and was about to be eaten.
Hey, pull yourself together! Can you speak? What happened?! What...
Why'd you cut me down?
(さっちゃん)何よ！ 文句があるなら言いなさいよ！
もっと 言えよ！ 言ってくださ～い!!
It's you! This is just
an ordinary M!
[Note: M stands for masochist.]
Some "legendary hunter"!
(ﾓﾝｷｰの うなり声)
What did you bring us here for?! Huh?!
Let's string this guy up next.
Stop it! If you're going to do that, do it to me. Please!
You keep quiet, perverted woman!
(吠え声)
What? If you've got a problem with that, let's hear it! C'mon, say it! Say it!
♪♪～
M-Monster!
I-Impossible!
He defeated the mythical beast, Paoshanron, a monkey of the strongest class...
[Note: Parody of Lao Shan Lung from Monster Hunter.]
In just one shot...
♪♪～
Don't even think about touching my guests.
♪♪～
Yo.
(近藤)もはや 疑う余地もない｡
I'm M.
こんなﾏﾈができるのは 世界で ただ１人｡
[GinTama Monkey Hunter Arc]
There's no doubt about it.
Only one person in this world could do such a thing.
One who is all-knowing; one who has hunted all over the entire game...
This is the legendary hunter...M!
C-Cool!
I was expecting a much older, rugged sort of guy, but he's way cooler!
Did you appear in FF? He appeared in FF, didn't he?
[Note: Refers to Cloud from Final Fantasy VII.]
(Ｍ)何も言う必要はねえ｡
I want your autograph.
What're you getting so excited about?
That's not the reason we came here.
Excuse me, M-dono, would you mind taking a photo with my kid and me?
What did you come for?! Who's your kid?
Forgive us. We're...
(Ｍ)いかなる困難にも立ち向かい 希望という明日を狩る…➡
You don't have to say anything.
Who do you think I am? I am the all-knowing M.
真のﾊﾝﾀｰたちが やってくるのを！
♪♪～
I know why you're playing this game and why you came in search of me.
(Ｍ)このところ このﾓﾝﾊﾝの世界に 奇妙なﾊﾝﾀｰが増えてきていてな｡
I know everything.
I've been waiting for you.
(Ｍ)狩りを楽しむでもない｡ 連中は ひたすら➡
People who can face any crisis, who hunt for the hope that is tomorrow...
人を捜すことだけに従事する｡
I have been waiting for true hunters like you to come.
そして 連中が 決まって 口にする台詞が…｡
Recently, there has been an increase in
some rather odd hunters coming to the Mon-Hun world.
(Ｍ)お前たちと同じく 己の身体を 取り戻そうとしている連中が➡
They're not here to enjoy hunting.
All they do is search for people. And they all say the same thing...
今 次々と この世界にやってきているんだ｡
Do you know anything about the alien gamers?
I-It can't be...
Yes. You're not the only victims of alien abduction.
Others like you, who wish to restore their bodies,
are coming one after another into this world.
Didn't you people know?
It's become such a crisis that the Bakufu is taking action.
I was asked by certain higher-ups in the Bakufu
(Ｍ)この広大な ﾈｯﾄ世界で➡
to infiltrate this game. I'm here to string up and arrest the alien gamers.
名も知れねえ 特定の人物を捜すなんて➡
まず 不可能に近いからな｡
No, you strung up yourself, indulging in M play.
But the majority of players gave up and tossed their controllers.
It is nearly impossible to find specific individuals,
(Ｍ)ｾｲﾃﾝﾀｲｾｲが生息している｡ 連中も ｺｲﾂを狩るつもりだ｡
whose names you don't even know, in the huge world, known as the Net.
必ず ここへやってくる｡
You are the first ones to have reached me.
(Ｍ)ｵﾚと共に戦ってくれるか？
You'll find what you're looking for here.
Inside this temple is the monkey who stands above all others,
the mythical beast...
Seiten Taisei. The aliens plan to hunt it down.
[Note: Seiten Taisei is the self-claimed name of Son Goku in Journey To The West.]
共に行こう！ ｵﾚたちの楽園を取り戻しに｡
They will come here for sure.
Ｍぅぅ～!! ≪(客)さっきから うるせえ！
You are people whom I recognize as true hunters.
あ～ すいません！ 超ｶｯｹｰ Ｍ！
Will you fight with me?
最後の最後に ようやく まともな人が ﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰになった！
I cannot stand by and watch anymore as people trample on
this hunters' paradise with their soiled feet.
Let us go together. Let us reclaim our hunters' paradise.
Oh M...!!
Keep it down!
Oops, sorry.
M is way cool! Finally, we got someone decent to be...
a member of our party!
Are you okay with getting involved in such a problem?
Hmph.
Games are all about the enjoyment of solving problems.
Don't worry. I'm not doing this on a whim or just for the fun of it.
I have to restore my own body, as well.
それ 改造じゃねえだろ～!!
なに 仕事ねえの 宇宙人のせいに しようとしてんだ！
Not you, too?!
Well, yeah. Though I'm not in as bad shape as you people.
もともとだろ それ!!
A light shined down on me from the sky
and by the time I knew what was happening, it was too late.
それ ｵﾒｴだろ！ 今の自分を抹殺して➡
新しい自分に生まれ変わろうと してんじゃねえ!!
I had been rendered completely unemployed.
That's not a modification!
Why are you blaming aliens for not having a job?!
You were that way before they showed up!
I was turned into a spiritless, filthy dude with sunglasses named Hasegawa.
That's who you are!
You're just trying to escape your real life self by pretending to be someone else!
(銀時) ｹﾞｰﾑ内で幅をきかす勇者ほど➡
現実世界では 暇をもてあました ﾀﾞﾒ人間であるということが多い｡
No way...the legendary hunter...was Hasegawa-san?
伝説のﾊﾝﾀｰとくれば 伝説のﾀﾞﾒ人間も出てくらぁ｡
I see.
He has so much free time that he escaped into this game
and became the strongest hunter here.
その点でいえば ｳﾁのﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰ 最強ですよ｡
ﾀﾞﾒ人間だらけです｡ 大丈夫なんですか？
His life inside the game and his real life are in inverse proportion.
Often, the heroes who have influence inside a game
are good-for-nothings in the real world who have too much free time.
きっ 来た～っ!!
The legendary hunter is a legendary good-for-nothing.
In that regard, our party is the strongest ever.
We're all good-for-nothings. Will we be okay?
Oh...someone's there...!
There they are!
It's them! No mistake! They look almost the same as in real life!
Those jerks! I'll finish them off!
Wait!
We're inside the game.
Capturing them in here won't restore our bodies. (anxiety)
Punch Samurai G is right.
Unless we capture the guys playing the game,
(長谷川)連中の狩りを手伝い ﾈｯﾄ友達となり➡
any victory in here would be meaningless.
ｵﾌ会に誘って ﾔﾂらを 電脳世界から引きずり出す！
Then...what can we do?
There's the offline meeting.
Offline meeting?
Yes. An offline meeting is a "land party", where people who met on the Net,
via a bulletin board or chat room,
can meet face-to-face and get to know each other better.
We'll help them with their hunt and become Net friends.
Then we'll invite them to an offline meeting
and drag them out of the cyber world.
We don't have time to go through all that trouble!
(地鳴り)
This is already the second week!
We've already spent two weeks on this ridiculous subject!
It's our second week, so we need to approach this rationally.
♪♪～
And it's part B, so we need to calm down and think.
Okay! Then let's hold an offline meeting to plan our strategy.
(吠え声)
You're too calm. That's an "I'm relaxing at home" calmness!
で… 出た!!
I-It's here!
(後輩)先輩 出たっすよ ﾗｽﾎﾞｽ｡ (先輩)おぉ でけえ｡
Senpai, the final boss appeared.
Oh, it's huge.
Whatever we do, make them feel indebted to us.
(長谷川)相手は ﾓﾝﾊﾝ最強の敵 死ぬんじゃねえぞ｡
Our enemy is the strongest in Mon-Hun. Don't get yourselves killed.
行くぞ！
Let's go!
なんか… 倒しちゃったみたい なんですけど｡
I think they killed it.
Just a minute! What're you doing?! We haven't done anything yet!
Ah...we've killed the final boss.
I guess we're done with Mon-Hun.
Oh no! This isn't good! We've got trouble!
They're planning to quit the game! If they leave, it's over for us!
An enemy! We have to give them a new enemy!
Where are we going to find another enemy?!
I'll think of something!
Keep them in the game until then.
I think our only choice is to use womanpower.
Suit yourself.
You never did find it, did you?
You mean the rare item?
No...that.
You go and approach them.
Oh no! Because Ginko, you told me his antennae was too risqué.
You go, Ginko.
Oh my, they're looking this way.
Uh, excuse me... The two of us are on a hunt.
She wants to know if you'd like to come with us.
Oh no, that was her. She said it.
うまい！ 女子高生的なﾉﾘを 完全に再現している｡
Terrific! They've got the high-school co-ed thing down pat!
これに ひっかからない 男はいない！
No man can resist that!
I really didn't care, but Ginko here said...
C'mon, stop that! Saruko,
you were saying those body tights turned you on.
Oh no, that was you, Ginko.
No, you did, Saruko.
No, I said that.
なんで おっさん 混ざってんだ!!
Why's an old man joining in?!
Don't you think it's seriously risqué?
Those body tights are so risqué, don't you think? Aren't they risqué?
今 お前 女じゃ ねえだろうが!!
You're not a girl right now!
やべえのは そこの気持悪い おっさんだから!!
The problem is you, the creepy old man!
Sorry, but we already defeated the final boss.
Wow! Awesome!
You're so strong, aren't you?! I so respect that!
Well, I guess. It took only one shot.
But did you know there's a hidden boss inside that temple?
There's a super-strong hidden boss called Smegmamon or Masta Bayter.
ﾏｽｶｰｸ!? 何 いい加減なこと 言ってんの！
Masta Bayter?! Oh, come on now!
Senpai, what do you think? They want to come with us.
I don't care.
ちょっと!! ﾏｽｶｰｸなんて 世界のどこにもいねえよ!!
Just a minute! There's no Masta Bayter anywhere in this world!
What are we going to do?!
They just lied to convince them to go with them!
This is bad.
(桂)あの先輩とかいう男 完全に 中二病患者だ｡
That Senpai dude is totally stricken with 8th-grade-itis.
(桂)異性をたっぷり 意識しているが➡
He's fully aware of the opposite sex, but can't deal with them face-to-face.
正面から向き合えない｡
興味のない素振りをしてしまう｡
He acts disinterested.
You see? He's part of the group, but notice the distance.
(桂)見ろ ﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰを 組んだはいいが あの距離感｡
色仕掛けが逆効果｡
The sex-appeal tactic is backfiring.
They won't be able to invite them to an offline meeting.
これでは ｵﾌ会に 誘うどころじゃないぞ｡
Let's use his 8th-grade-itis to our advantage.
People with 8th-grade-itis have a thick AT Field towards the opposite sex,
[Note: Absolute Terror Field from Neon Genesis Evengelion.]
but they're defenseless against those of the same sex or race.
What's an AT Field? Aren't you the one with 8th-grade-itis?
I'll force open a hole in his AT Field.
You guys use that opportunity to get close to him.
How're you going to force it open?
あの人 後輩にしか 心 開いてませんよ｡
That guy won't let anyone in except his Kohai.
(近藤)仲間であることを示せば きっと 心を開いてくれるはず｡
I'm sure he'll open up if we show him we're his friends.
(近藤)ﾔﾂらの象徴みたいな ものはないか…｡
Is there anything they identify with?
That!
Senpai, is something the matter? You've been really quiet lately.
It's nothing.
This isn't working. He hasn't opened up to us at all.
He's at a difficult age.
そのｸｾ ﾁﾗｯﾁﾗｯ 見てきやがんだよ 腹立つな｡
But he keeps ogling us. So irritating!
(さっちゃん)焦っちゃﾀﾞﾒよ｡ じっくり 口説きおとしましょう｡
Don't lose patience. We'll seduce him in time.
Oh?
(近藤)ひょっとして 先輩じゃないっすか｡
Aren't you...
Senpai?
It's me. Me! I was two grades below you in middle school.
(近藤)覚えてませんか この触…｡
Don't you remember me? This antenna?
Awesome! A new species of monkey!
A rare monkey. Let's quickly take his stuff.
Did he say something just now? Do I know him?
He's nobody you know. He's just a monkey. A genuine monkey.
I obtained a truly rare item.
I want you to have this as a token of our friendship.
[Obtained: A filthy antenna]
You mean it?
That's great, Senpai. You can use it to create powerful armaments.
No, I think it probably has no use at all.
(先輩)何の使い道も ないと思うけど｡
(後輩)いや 呪いのﾅｲﾌとか いけるっすよ きっと｡
No, you can use it in a cursed knife.
Fruit Chinpo Samurai G!! (lol)
なんで (笑)なんだよ！
What's the (lol) for?
That strategy was a total failure,
but the awkwardness has lessened a bit.
Fruit Chinpo Samurai G! Your death was not in vain! (roflmao)
Why are you laughing?
Fruit Chinpo Samurai G taught me that
people must bare themselves and confront each other head-on. (naked)
No, that guy was simply vulgar.
There was no hope of opening up that guy's heart
by whispering secretly between ourselves over here.
I've made up my mind-I'm going to bare myself and confront them. (resolve)
I will tell him everything I feel with open frankness.
We may live on different planets,
but I am sure we can understand each other!
Just a minute, Katsura-san!
Hey! You guys!
The truth is, I sometimes urinate when I take a shower,
but you all do that, too, don't you?
He's revealing something that's totally irrelevant!
全然 関係ない どうでもいい 思いのたけを暴露した!!
A-Awesome! Rare monkeys keep appearing here!
No, he's your friend, right? They were both your friends, right?
No, these monkeys aren't our friends.
They were genuine monkeys.
I obtained a very rare item.
I want you to have this as a token...
[Obtained: Golden water]
I don't want it!
Look I didn't say anything earlier, but that's enough, you guys.
You've been sneaking about trying to check us out.
What're you up to? Are you with them?
Huh? What're you saying?
I'm asking who you people are!
You should identify yourselves first before asking us questions.
Huh? We are...
♪♪～
[Senpai] [Gun User]
[Kohai] [Whip User]
We are screwdrivers.
[Preview]
How many weeks is it going to take to get my dick back?
We're having an offline meeting next week?! Who cares!
Come back, my Shane!
[Note: Parody of the Western movie, Shane.]
The next episode... "Always Keep a Screwdriver In Your Heart."
["Always Keep a Screwdriver In Your Heart"]
[Due to not making any progress, the Mon-Hun party holds an offline meeting.]
[Will Gintoki and friends finally be able to restore their modified body parts next week?!]