(うらら)ｱｯﾊﾊﾊ…！
何 この人 ｷﾒすぎ～！
What's with this pose!
でも ちょっとかっこいいかも！
But he's pretty cute.
それに お姉ちゃんと同じ年頃よ！
And he's about your age, Sis. That's terrific.
よかったじゃない！ (姉)う うららちゃん…｡
Urara... I have to apologize to you.
私 うららちゃんに 謝らなきゃいけないことが…｡
じ 実は 私… あの手紙に➡
A-Actually, when I sent that letter, I put your picture inside the bottle.
うららちゃんの 写真を同封して流しちゃったの｡
What? My picture? Why?
えっ 私の… なんで？
うららちゃんが とても かわいいから！
Because you're so cute.
I thought if anyone saw your picture, they'd be sure to reply.
この人が 手紙を書いてるってなったら➡
きっと誰かが 手紙を返してくれると思って！
ご ごめんなさい!! もう～｡
I'm so sorry!
なんで そんなことするかなぁ｡
Why'd you do such a thing? Why didn't you include your own photo?
自分の写真 入れればいいのに！
I couldn't! No one would take me seriously.
ﾀﾞ ﾀﾞﾒよ！ 私なんか 誰も相手にしてくれないもの！
返事が きたのだって➡
The reply came all because of your picture.
う うららちゃんの 写真のおかげだもの｡
はぁ… もっと自分に自信持ってよ！
Be more confident! You're pretty, Sis! And so am I.
お姉ちゃん かわいいよ！ 私も かわいいけど｡
Okay then, if I've made a new friend, I'll forgive you.
じゃあ 友達つくれたら 許してあげる！
(うらら) 今度こそ変わるんでしょ？
You're going to change this time, right, Sis?
お姉ちゃん！
Take it slow, but do your best, Sis.
ゆっくりでいいから がんばろう お姉ちゃん！
(姉)う… うん…｡
["Sometimes You Must Meet To Understand"]
I didn't think this letter would reach anyone, so I'm very happy.
I'd like to get to know you better, Shinpachi.
(銀時)おいおい やったじゃねえか｡
Hey, you did it. She wants to get to know you better.
ｵﾒｴのことが知りたいってよ！
She's totally into this. So what'll you do?
もう ﾒﾛﾒﾛじゃねぇ？ どうするよ おい 教えちゃう？
Will you tell her everything?
あんなことから こんなことまで教えちゃう？
(新八)いや でも銀さん 彼女に送った写真 これ…｡
But, Gin... The picture I sent to her...
Maybe it's not me she wants to get to know, but Okita.
彼女が知りたがってるのって…｡
ﾎﾞｸじゃなくて… 沖田さんじゃね!?
If I said, "This is Shinpachi Shimura,"
これが ｢ﾎﾞｸ 志村 新八です｣って この写真渡されたら➡
wouldn't anyone looking at the photo assume that I meant Okita?
誰が見ても 沖田さんを ｢新八｣と思わねえ!?
大丈夫だよ ちゃんと写ってるじゃん 新八も｡
Don't worry. You're in the picture. And you look good.
いい顔してるよ！ 写ってるって➡
But half of me is out of the frame! I'm the one being slain!
体 半分以上 ﾌﾚｰﾑｱｳﾄしてるだろうが!!
ただの 斬られ役 乙だろうが!!
If you want to be considered the lover here, then that's the perfect pose.
二枚目に勘違いされるなら➡
それに越したことはねえだろ｡
We didn't tell any lies. And if she misinterprets things, that's not our fault.
ｵﾚたち ひとつもｳｿ言ってないからね｡
それを向こうさんが 勝手に勘違いしたとしても➡
それは もう こちらは 知らないっていう話だから｡
こんなもん 誰が見たって勘違いするわ!!
Anyone looking at this would misinterpret it!
とにもかくにも 返信してもらうっていう➡
But we've passed the first hurdle in getting her to reply.
第一関門は なんとか突破した…｡ ≪(近藤)あまいな｡
So naive.
The first gate? That's way off.
(近藤)第一関門？ そんなものは まだまだ 先｡
お前たちは まだ 門の前にすら 立てちゃいない｡
You guys aren't even in front of the gate.
I don't need to hear that from someone who can't even get through the gate!
門から入ってくることも できないﾔﾂに 言われたくねえ！
何も言うな 新八君｡
Don't say anything, Shinpachi.
I know pretty much what's been happening these past few days.
ここ数日のいきさつは おおよそ把握している｡
なんで知ってるんだよ？ 沖田さんが捜しに来てたよ！
How do you know?! Okita was here looking for you!
How long have you been there?!
いつから そこにいたんだよ？ 恋の相談なら➡
If it's matters of the heart, why didn't you come to me, Kondo the expert?!
なぜ この恋愛のｴｷｽﾊﾟｰﾄ 近藤にしてくれない！
いやがらせのｴｷｽﾊﾟｰﾄだろ！
You're the expert of harassment!
Besides, I've never seen a dirtier expert at love!
こんな 泥だらけになってる 恋愛のｴｷｽﾊﾟｰﾄ 見たことねえ！
そうっ 恋をつかむｺﾂは 泥だらけになっても➡
Right! To capture love, you get down and dirty without giving up!
あきらめないことだ｡ あきらめろよ！
Give it up! Please, I'm begging you! Give it up!
頼むから あきらめてくれよ！
はぁ… 文通か 懐かしいなぁ｡
Letters, huh? Brings back memories.
ｵﾚも昔は やったもんだよ！
I used to correspond a lot.
I'd get so nervous each time a letter came.
手紙がくるたびに ﾄﾞｷﾄﾞｷしてな➡
何度 振り込みに行ったか わからんよ！
I can't remember how many times I went to make payments.
文通じゃねえよ それ！ 架空請求!!
That wasn't correspondence! Those were bills for the crap you signed up for!
Was not! I remember it in my heart!
(近藤)架空じゃないっ 確かにｵﾚの胸に残っている！
利用したのかよ ｱﾀﾞﾙﾄｻｲﾄ！
So you did go on an adult site?!
ﾌﾝｯ… 新八君！
Shinpachi, a guy like him who's only experience in love is in the gutter
あんな ただれた恋愛しか したことがなさそうな男に➡
文通などという恋愛が わかるわけもない！
can't know anything about writing letters.
Let me, your future brother-in-law, handle it!
ここは 未来の兄たる ｵﾚに任せなさい!!
How dare you?!
なんだ ﾃﾒｴ ｺﾗ！ 金の発生する擬似恋愛しか➡
The only experience you have in love is paid sex. So don't talk!
したことなさそうなﾔﾂに 言われたくねえんだよ！
じゃあ 聞きますがね ｷﾐ ここから どうするつもり？
Well then, let me ask. What are you going to do now?
相手は 新八君に 興味を持ち始めた｡
The girl has begun to take an interest in Shinpachi.
しかし いったい何を語る！
So what should he say?
(近藤)例えば…！
For example!
I work part-time at an Odd Jobs in Edo.
I'm always poor and my hobby is chasing after pop idols.
How can you be popular with that?!
って こんなんで ﾓﾃるかぁ！
Odd Jobs is no place to work! And chasing pop idols is weird!
何だよ 万事屋って うさんくさ！
何だよ ｱｲﾄﾞﾙ追っかけって 気持わるっ！
ﾓﾃねえ お前に 言われたくねえんだよ！
You should talk, when you can't even make it with women!
万事屋 ﾅﾒんな！ そうだよ！
There's nothing wrong with Odd Jobs!
Yeah! And what's wrong with chasing pop idols?!
ｱｲﾄﾞﾙ追っかけで 何が悪いんだ！
嫌がる女性を追いかける ｽﾄｰｶｰより ﾏｼだ！
It's better than stalking a woman who hates you!
(近藤)じゃ ｷﾐら 聞くけど 現在 ﾓﾃてますか？
Well then, let me ask you. Are you popular with girls now?
ﾓﾃてねえだろ！ そうさ！
No, right? Naturally!
If you write honestly about your current lifestyle,
基本 お前らの生活を 正面から正直に書けば➡
女性の食いつきが いいわけがあるまい！
what woman would be interested?!
Then are you suggesting we lie?!
じゃあ ｳｿをつけって いうんですか！
We may have tinkered with the facts a little, but we haven't lied!
いろいろ小細工は使ってるが ｳｿだけはついてねえぞ ｵﾚたち！
ｳｿ？ そんな士道に 背くことができるか！
Lie? As if I'd suggest anything that's against the samurai code.
ただ 文章というのは 言い方を変えるだけで➡
However, changing the way the sentence reads
だいぶん印象が変わると いっているんだ！
can greatly enhance the impression it creates.
例えば…！
For example...
I train every day under a samurai named Gin in hopes of learning the Way of the Samurai.
My hobby is music.
It's the one thing that I don't mind opening my wallet for.
But as a result, I'm always a little short on cash.
おお！ さっきと内容は おんなじなのに➡
The content is still the same as before, but the impact is vastly different.
印象が まったく違う！
ﾌﾝ… まだ続くぞ｡
There's more.
My dream is to revive my family's sword dojo.
My sister has been doing her best to support me and my dream.
My sister is a fine woman, beautiful, gentle,
and if I were to marry, she's the kind of woman I'd like to find.
Lately, her beauty shines even more, and even I, her younger brother, am dazzled by it.
In a word, her beauty is like a single flower.
So delicate, it's as though it would fall if touched,
but at the same time, it has a strength that makes it unbreakable.
What is even more amazing is that even with all that beauty,
she remains down-to-earth. Her spirit remains pure and she glows.
Is this a miracle?
No, it is not. It is she herself that is the miracle.
And this beauty that we behold is a petite-miracle, which was borne from the miracle that she is.
And even more amazing, my sister...
長いわぁ！ どんだけ長々と 姉のこと語ってるんだよ！
Too long!
Must you go on and on and on about my sister?
こんな弟 気持悪いわ！
As her brother, it makes me wanna puke!
You said change the point of view, but now it's all your point of view!
視点変えるって 完全に ｱﾝﾀの視点になってるでしょうが！
確かに ﾎﾞｸを語る上で 姉上の存在は欠かせませんよ！
Undoubtedly, even in my words, my sister's existence is essential.
でも もうちょっと 簡潔にしないと➡
But you have to make it more concise, or it loses its purpose!
何のための手紙か わかりませんよ！
そうだな しかたない｡
I see. Oh well. I'll swallow my tears and cut it down to one sentence.
涙をのんで 一行にまとめよう｡
She turns me on.
どんな弟だぁ！
What kind of kid brother is that?!
Like I said, it's all your feelings! By the way, is that all you feel?!
だから これ 完全にお前の気持だろうが！
結局 ﾑﾗﾑﾗしてるだけかい ｱﾝﾀ！
言わないでね お姉さんに！ 言えるかぁ！
Please don't tell your sister.
As if I could!
もうよ 姉ちゃんのことは この際 省こうぜ｡
Say, let's just cut your sister out of this already.
姉貴なんていても 女からすれば 何のﾒﾘｯﾄもねえよ｡
Having an older sister has absolutely no merits.
最終的に小姑になるわけだから｡
Ultimately, she could be the sister-in-law.
まずいｷｰﾜｰﾄﾞは 全部とろう｡
Let's eliminate all negative keywords. Just write about what works.
都合のいいところだけ 書いときゃいいんだよ｡
Under the guidance of a samurai named Gin,
I get turned on every day and night.
ﾑﾗﾑﾗをとれっ！
Get rid of "turned on"!
The most negative keyword is still being used!
いちばんまずいｷｰﾜｰﾄﾞが まるまる残ってるんだよ！
日夜 ﾑﾗﾑﾗって何だよ！
What's this "turned on every day and night"?!
It sounds like I'm like that all year long!
年中 ﾑﾗﾑﾗしてる みたいでしょうが！
I get turned on during the weekends.
週休二日制で ﾑﾗﾑﾗしています｡
"Weekends" is fine, but delete "turned on"!
休みはとらんでいいから ﾑﾗﾑﾗとれっ！
もういいです！ 前半だけ使って あとは却下！ あとは…｡
Enough already! Use the first half, and forget the rest!
Forget...
You... Urara ...
What is your life like?
Miss, the ocean air is not good for you.
(狭州父蔵)お嬢様 海風はお体に障ります｡
いいの 開けておいて｡
It's all right. Please leave it open.
So you have an older sister too, Shinpachi.
I have one older sister. But unlike yours, my sister is very weak.
She has been sickly since she was a child
and spent most of her time indoors, always alone.
So, she's very shy
and even though her health is better, she's not comfortable around others.
The only ones she's able to talk to freely are myself and our butler, Chanzo Sebasu.
And on the rare days she does go outside,
she gazes out at the ocean towards far off lands.
She's unable to cast off the shell she has built around herself.
What do you think about a sister like that?
お… 思ったより がっぷり 姉の話題に食いついてきたぞ｡
Hey, she really latched onto the topic of an older sister. More than we expected.
全然 自分のこと 書いてないんですけど｡
She didn't write a thing about herself.
だから 言ったんだよ 姉ちゃんの話題は省けってよ｡
Didn't I tell you? To leave out writing about your sister?
手紙で わざわざ 互いの姉ちゃんの話に➡
What's the use of exchanging notes about your sisters?!
花咲かせて どうすんだ？ 話題を すぐに切り替えろ｡
Get the subject back to yourself!
しかし 無下にもできんぞ 相手は 彼女の肉親｡
But you can't just change the subject.
This is her dear older sister.
優しく ﾌｫﾛｰを入れてから さりげに 話題を移さんと｡
You have to do a follow-up, then gently change the subject.
So how would I follow up?
ﾌｫﾛｰって いったい どうやって？
(土方)あっ やっぱ ここに いやがった｡
Oh, so you're here, after all.
(土方)近藤さん いい加減にしてくれよ｡
Kondo, get your act together, will you?
仕事ほったらかして ﾌﾟﾗﾌﾟﾗ ﾌﾟﾗﾌﾟﾗしやがって｡
You slack off from work and go roaming around.
隊士たちに ﾌｫﾛｰを入れる ｵﾚの身にもなってくれ｡
Can you put yourself in my place trying to follow-up for you?
(近藤)おっ ちょうど いいところに来た｡
Perfect timing! Toshiro Hijikata, the follow-up man!
ﾌｫﾛｰの男 土方 十四郎｡ あ？
He handles all the problem kids and follows up with them every day.
(近藤)上にも下にも問題児を抱え ﾌｫﾛｰ三昧の日々｡
ﾄｼにかかれば まず ﾌｫﾛｰできないものはない｡
With Toshi, there's nothing he can't follow-up!
What are you talking about?
(土方)何の話だよ｡ (近藤)これを読んでみろ｡
Read this, Toshi-follow!
十四ﾌｫﾛｰ君｡ (土方)十四ﾌｫﾛｰって なんだよ！
Cut the Toshi-follow! It's Toshiro! And why should I?
(土方)十四郎だ ﾑﾘありすぎんだよ｡
お願いします ﾌｫﾛ方さん｡ (土方)統一しろよ！
Please read it, Follow-kata!
Get your names straight! Nothing makes sense!
何にも かかってねえよ！
Hey Four-eyes, what do you see in this woman?
おい ﾒｶﾞﾈ お前 こんな女の どこがいいんだ？
ｺｲﾂは どう見ても …型の女だぞ｡ …型？
I'm telling you, she's a Type bleep.
Type bleep?
…型の女は 自分勝手で まず 人の話を聞かねえ｡
Type bleep women are willful and never listen to others.
自分の話だけ まくし立てるように しゃべり➡
[We are not allowed to broadcast contents that may encourage prejudice and stereotypes against different blood types.]
She talks only about herself and monopolizes the conversation, then thinks it's going well.
それで 会話が成立してると 思うたちの女だ｡
この手合いは 下手に ﾌｫﾛｰに回ると➡
If you don't do the proper follow-up, she'll talk on and on forever.
延々と １人で しゃべり続けるぞ｡
(土方)かといって 強引に こっちの話を振っても➡
And yet, she won't listen even if you force another subject on her.
まず 聞かねえ｡ 相当に うまくやる必要がある｡
This really needs to be handled properly.
So what? You got something against Type bleep women?
おい なに？ 彼 …型の女に恨みでもあんの？
No!
(土方)ねえよ！ ﾄｼ まだ あれ引きずってんのか｡
Toshi, are you still stuck on that?
いい加減なこと言うな！
Never mind that!
It's different with someone who's popular with women.
いや でも ﾓﾃる男は やっぱり言うこと違うわ｡
頼りになります ﾋﾞｼﾞ方さん｡
You give good advice, bleep-kata!
Stop calling me by all those different names!
(土方)いちいち 呼び方 変えんじゃねえ！
Type Peep will find that you can't get much done today, but hang in there.
…型は 今日は 何をやっても 空回り めげずに がんばれ｡
…型は 急な雨に見舞われるかも｡
Type piip might get caught in a sudden shower.
外出の際は 傘を忘れずに｡ (土方)ただの占いだろうが！
Don't forget your umbrellas when you go out.
That's just fortune-telling! Besides, why would it only rain on Type piip?!
なんで …型の上にだけ 雨が降るんだよ！
In any case, what we need is a miraculous follow-up that has a finality,
要するに 絶妙な さじ加減のﾌｫﾛｰ｡
そして 相手が 気づかぬほどの➡
then we naturally switch subjects, being careful not to hurt her.
自然な話題替えが 必要ってことだな｡
ちょろいな まぁ ｵﾚに任せな｡
That's a cinch. Just leave it to me.
It pains my heart to think about your sister.
But I'm sure your sister understands your concerns.
I know that one day, her heart will open up.
Speaking of opening up, when will you open up your legs for me, Urara?
不自然だろうが！
That's not natural!
What kind of subject are you trying to introduce?!
なんつう話題に 切り替えようとしてんだ お前は！
原始人でも もっと ましな口説き方するわ！
Even a caveman knows how to be more delicate!
In love, we all return to our primeval selves.
恋をするとき 人は皆 原始に帰るのさ｡
お前だけ帰れ！ 二度と帰ってくるな!!
You can return by yourself. And never come back!
This is ridiculous! There's no follow-up!
まったく話にならんな｡
ﾌｫﾛｰが足らん｡ ﾍﾟﾗﾍﾟﾗじゃねえか！
It's so flimsy! You're not thinking seriously about the sister here.
お前は真剣に お姉さんのことを 考えていない！
When I think about your sister...
I get turned on.
見境なしかい！ ﾌｫﾛｰどころか➡
There's no distinction with that!
That's not a follow-up. You're only thinking about my sister!
お姉さんのことしか 考えてねえじゃねえか！
Even an amoeba can do better than that!
ｱﾒｰﾊﾞでも もっとﾏｼな思考してるぞ！
Everyone gets gooey in love.
恋をするとき 人は皆 ﾈﾊﾞﾈﾊﾞさ｡
It's the inside of your head that's gooey!
お前の頭ん中が ﾈﾊﾞﾈﾊﾞだろ！
ﾊｧ～ 土方さん｡ ん？
Hijikata ...
しかたねえ｡
Oh well, I have no choice.
You seem to be very concerned about your sister.
But I don't think you need to be.
I can't feel sorry for your sister, nor do I have words of encouragement for her.
After all, she does have a friend.
Me.
I will be your sister's friend.
If she's unable to break out of her shell, then I will come to break it for her.
We say we'll release her, then we do an ultra-dreadnought of a follow-up!
(近藤)なに!? 突き放すと見せて 超ど級のﾌｫﾛｰに！
And with that follow-up, we nonchalantly arrange to meet!
しかも ﾌｫﾛｰから さりげに 会う約束を取りつけた！
Please let me meet your sister.
Oh, please forgive me for bringing it up so suddenly.
I've said some noble things. But actually, I'm not such a great guy.
After all, I...I just...I just...
want to meet you.
There's the follow-up! We followed up with Urara at the end!
ﾌｫﾛｰした！ 最後 うららさんもﾌｫﾛｰした!!
It's not the end. We erase this part. And now it's the end!
最後じゃねえ！ ｺｲﾂを消して おしまいだ！
You erased it?! The line about wanting to meet her?! Why?!
消した！ ｢君に 会いたいだけだから｣を消した！
なぜ!? ま まさか…｡
I-Is it because a youth like Shinpachi would be too shy to ask to meet her?
｢君に会いたいだけだから｣は➡
新八君のようなｳﾌﾞな少年は 照れて書けない一文｡
じゃあ 書いた後 やっぱり照れて 消したことを演出するために!?
So! It's a put-on that after he writes it, he realizes he's too shy, then erases it.
新八君にまでﾌｫﾛｰを！
You even followed up with Shinpachi!
完璧！ 完璧だ！ これが…｡
It's perfect!
It's done! So this is known as...
the Follow-kata Toshi-follow!
至急 送れ｡ はい ありがとうございます！
Send it immediately.
Yes! Thank you!
おい ｵﾒｴら 礼は言わねえぞ｡
Hey, guys,
I'm not gonna thank you.
わかってるさ｡ 男なら誰しも通る道だろ？
No problem.
Every man goes down this path.
ﾌﾌﾌｯ！
(笑い声)
(近藤)ﾀﾞｰﾊﾊｯ！ あ？
Oops...
(土方)やべぇ… 近藤さんが 書いた文 消すの忘れてた｡
I forgot to erase the line Kondo wrote.
[When I think about your sister, I get turned on.]
ｷｬｰｯ！
How creepy! This guy gets turned on?!
(うらら)気持わるい！ 何この人！ ﾑﾗﾑﾗって何よ!?
ちょっと お姉ちゃん やめよう！ もう文通なんて やめよう！
Sis, forget this. No more corresponding!
(うらら)お姉ちゃん？ ちょっ… どうしたの？
Sister?
Say, what's the matter?
不思議な人｡
It's strange.
この人 手紙を書くたびに 別人のように文体が変わるの｡
Every time he writes, the letters seem like they're from a different person.
まるで１人で たくさんの人格を 持っているみたい…｡
As though he's someone with multiple personalities.
I've never had a friend, and all at once,
今まで 友達なんて １人もいなかったのに➡
一度に たくさんの友達が できたみたいだわ｡
I feel like I have many friends.
何 言ってんの？ お姉ちゃん！ ただの変態じゃない！ これ｡
What are you saying, Sis?
He's just a weirdo.
それに 私 うららちゃんのふりして➡
And, I've been writing as if I was you.
手紙を書いてたのに 私のこと 助けたいって…｡
Yet he says he wants to help me.
ﾑ… ﾑﾗﾑﾗするって…｡
That he gets turned on.
お姉ちゃん！ ﾑﾗﾑﾗの意味 わかってる!?
Sister! Do you even know what that means? Getting turned on means...
ﾑﾗﾑﾗっていうのはね！ いたい…｡
...want to meet him.
私…｡
I...
私 この人に会ってみたい！
I want to try meeting him.
銀さん ちょっと！ この手紙 見てくださいよ!!
Gin-san! Hey, take a look at this letter!
This is bad. I want nothing to do with it. Nothing.
やべぇ！ ｵﾚ 知らない ｵﾚ 知らな～い｡
ｵﾚも知らん！ ﾄｼだよな？ ﾄｼが悪いんだよな？
Me neither! It's Toshi. It's all Toshi's fault!
元はといえば 近藤さんが 悪いんだろ！ ｵﾚも知らねえよ!!
You're the one who started this, Kondo. It's not my problem!
やりました！ ついに やりましたよ!!
I did it! I finally did it!
Urara wants to meet me!
うららちゃん ﾎﾞｸと会いたいって!!
I'm so happy that you're concerned about my sister as though she's your own sister.
I would love for you and my sister to meet.
I'll be going to Edo with her, so let's definitely meet.
Wow, I never imagined I'd get to meet her so soon.
いや～ まさか こんなに早く 彼女と会えるとは｡
I guess it's really worth trying.
ｱﾀｯｸしてみるもんですね！
Thank you so much everyone.
皆さん ﾎﾝﾄ ありがとうございました！
One should always have a senpai who can teach you about life. Really.
持つべきものは人生の先輩ですね｡ うん うん！
おい… どういうことだ？
Hey, what's it mean?
あんな手紙 受け取って それでも 会いたいってことは➡
She received a letter like that and she wants to meet up.
Does it mean? No way!
まさか… まさか…｡
(銀時たち)あっちも ﾑﾗﾑﾗしてる!?
She's turned on, too?!
Absolutely not!
や～い！ いけません!!
ｷﾞｬｰｯ!! 近藤さん 何するんですか!?
Kondo! What're you doing?!
いけませんよ！ 16歳で ﾑﾗﾑﾗなんて いけません!!
No way! 16 years old and turned on?!
認めません 兄として！ いや 兄じゃねえし！
I will not allow it. As a brother!
You're not my brother! Besides, you're the one who's turned on the most!
だいたい ｱﾝﾀが いちばん ﾑﾗﾑﾗしてるでしょうが！
When you're over 20. Get turned on all you want!
(近藤)二十歳 超えてからです！ ﾑﾗﾑﾗは 二十歳 超えてから!!
Say, but you were horny even before you turned 20.
(土方)いや ｱﾝﾀ 二十歳前から ﾑﾗﾑﾗしてただろ｡
I will not allow it!
(近藤)認めません！ どうするんだ？ これ…｡
What'll we do about this?
(うらら)もう お姉ちゃん！ ここまで来て それはないでしょ？
Sister! You can't! Not after we came all this way!
Urara, stop! I really don't want to. Really!
(姉)うららちゃん やめて！ 私は 本当にいいの｡ いいから！
何 言ってんのよ！ 会いたいって 言ってたの お姉ちゃんでしょ!!
What are you saying?! You're the one who said you want to meet him!
私は 新八さんの顔が見られれば それで いいの｡
I'll be satisfied if I can just get a glimpse of Shinpachi's face.
陰で見ているから うららちゃんが行ってきて！
I'll watch from the shadows, so you go, Urara!
That's just pointless! Why did you begin corresponding in the first place, Sis?!
それじゃ 意味ないじゃん！
お姉ちゃん 何のために 文通 始めたの？
自分を変えるためでしょ！ 友達 作るためでしょ！
In order to change yourself, right? To make friends, right?
(姉)で… でも 向こうは うららちゃんが➡
B-But he thinks you're his writing partner.
文通の相手だと思っているのよ｡
If I go, he'll only be disappointed.
私なんて 出て行ったって がっかりさせるだけよ｡
There you go again, running away!
また そうやって逃げる！ お姉ちゃん 怖いだけでしょ？
You're just scared of getting involved with people. Of being hurt!
人と接するのが｡ 自分が傷つくのが｡
And if you don't change that about you, you'll always be alone!
(うらら)そういうところから 変えていかないと➡
お姉ちゃん ずっと 独りぼっちよ！
大丈夫！ 自分に自信を持って お姉ちゃん｡
You'll be fine. Have confidence, Sis.
お姉ちゃんは とっても かわいいよ｡
You're very pretty.
当たり前でしょ？ だって 私のお姉ちゃんなんだから｡
And why wouldn't you be?
After all, you're my sister.
(うらら)だから ﾑﾘして 自分を大きく見せようとしたり➡
So don't try to put on airs and be something you're not.
偽ったりしなくていいの｡ 自然体でいいのよ｡
Just be natural.
だって お姉ちゃんは そのままで 十分 ｽﾃｷなんだから｡
You're wonderful just the way you are.
自然体…｡ そう｡
Natural.
Yes. You get nervous because you try to be someone you're not.
(うらら)ﾑﾘして 取りつくろったりするから➡
緊張するのよ｡
Just be yourself, do what you feel, be true to who you are. Just act natural.
ありのままに 素のままに 思うままに➡
自然に ふるまえばいいのよ｡
《思うままに…》
Do what I feel?
《超 逃げたい！》 (うらら)お姉ちゃ～ん！
Like leaving!
Sis!
Darn it! For Sis, leaving is what comes naturally!
しまった！ お姉ちゃんにとっては 逃げ腰が自然体だった！
Wait, Sis!
待って！ お姉ちゃん！
Excuse me. Are you Urara?
(沖田)すみませ～ん｡ ｱﾝﾀが うららさん？
Hello, I'm Shinpachi Shimura.
(沖田)どうも｡ ﾎﾞｸ 志村 新八で～す｡
いや… なんで？
Hey, why...
Why's Okita on a date with her in my place?!
なんで ﾎﾞｸの代わりに 沖田さんが ﾃﾞｰﾄ行ってんですか!?
Now, now, calm down, Pachi.
まあ まあ まあ 落ち着け ぱっつぁん！
ﾔﾂなら うまくやってくれるさ｡
He'll pull it off nicely.
うまくやらんでいいわ！
He doesn't have to pull it off!
I finally got a date! How come a stranger gets to enjoy the best part?!
なんで ようやく ﾃﾞｰﾄまで こぎつけたのに➡
他人に いちばん おいしいところを➡
持ってかれにゃならんのですか！ 他人じゃねえ 新八君だ｡
He's no stranger. He's Shinpachi.
向こうにとっちゃ ﾔﾂが文通相手の 新八君ってことになってんだよ｡
Remember. To her, he's Shinpachi. Did you forget?
忘れたか？ ｱﾝﾀが ややこしい写真➡
That's because you sent that complicated photo!
送るからでしょうが！
But it's also because of this photo that she wrote back.
でも 向こうの食いつきが よかったのも➡
この写真のおかげだろ｡ うっ… そ… それにしたって➡
S-Still, I've written diligently to her. So what was the purpose of it all?
今まで 文通がんばってきたのに➡
これじゃ 何のためにやってたんだか…｡
誰が このままいくといった？
Who says it's going to continue like this?
えっ!? じゃあ 名乗り出るんですか？
Huh?! Then I'm going to go out there and confess!
この状況で ｢実は ﾎﾞｸが 手紙書いてました｣って➡
I'm supposed to go out in this situation and tell her,
名乗り出るっていうんすか!?
"Actually, I'm the one who wrote the letters"!
Calm down. If you go out there now, you'll just lose to Okita.
落ち着け！ 今 そんなことしても➡
沖田から新八に落ちるんだ｡
何も いいことはない｡
There's nothing to be gained from that.
The difference between you two is like the difference between the moon and turtle crap.
月からｽｯﾎﾟﾝのｳﾝｺに 落ちるようなもんだ｡
Just turtle will do.
ｽｯﾎﾟﾝで よくね？
Or like Ken and the crap from his crap.
[Note: Refers to movie star Ken Takakura who often plays the role of handsome, strong, honorable hero. Visuals refer to "Poppoya," a film about a lonely rail master.]
ｹﾝさんから ｹﾝさんのｳﾝｺのｳﾝｺに 落ちるようなもんだ｡
How about just crap? No, never mind.
ｹﾝさんのｳﾝｺで よくね？ いや よくねえけど…｡
In other words, even if you reveal yourself,
要するに 正体ﾊﾞﾗすにしても➡
相当に かっこいい状況で 言い出さなきゃﾀﾞﾒだってことだ｡
it has to be done under the right circumstances or it won't work at all.
たとえ ｹﾝさんのｳﾝｺのｳﾝｺでも➡
Look, if Ken's crap was on the railway track,
線路に落ちてりゃ軽く 『鉄道員』に見えてくるだろ？
even it could pass for Poppoya, the rail master.
見えねえよ！ 失礼なこと言うな！
Not! Don't be so rude!
You want to look clumsy.
不器用に見えてくるだろ！ むしろ器用だろ！
I'd say I'm pretty deft. Crapping on the tracks between trains passing.
電車が通るｽｷをぬって してるわけだから！
Anyway, Okita's gonna play a bad role here.
そこでだ｡ 沖田には 今回 悪役になってもらう｡
ﾔﾂは お前の因縁のﾗｲﾊﾞﾙ｡
He's your arch-rival.
ある日 お前が かわいい子と 文通を始めたことを知り➡
And one day, he discovers that you're going to correspond with a pretty girl.
これを横取りしようと画策｡
He decides to take her away from you and crumples up that first letter you wrote
Oh no!
新八の１通目の手紙を握りつぶし 自分の写真を送りつけた｡
and sends his own photo instead.
Later, he bides his time until you and Urara have formed a bond and promise to meet.
そのあと新八と うららちゃんの 仲が深まった頃合いをみて➡
会う約束を交わし その純潔を狙う｡
And he waits for that moment!
しか～し そこで現れるのが 鉄道員だよ！
However, who should appear but Poppoya!
ﾍﾞ… ﾍﾞﾀじゃないですか？ 大丈夫なんですか？
Isn't that a bit too cliché? Are you sure it'll work?
[無線](沖田)事実は 小説よりも ﾍﾞﾀなりでさぁ…｡
It's actually worse over here than a novel.
O-Okita?
お… 沖田さん!?
I think that'll be simple enough. I'm not good at remembering difficult things.
まあ そんくらいのほうが わかりやすくていいでしょ｡
難しいのは 覚えるの たりぃんで…｡
Are you sure, Okita? You don't mind doing this?
[無線]いいんですか 沖田さん｡ こんなことしてもらって…｡
旦那には 借りも いろいろあるんでね｡
Well, I owe Gin.
On top of which, Kondo just issued a new set of rules for us.
(沖田)それに 近藤さんの提言で➡
局中法度に 新しいのが加わりまして…｡
Article 46, Hate Odd Jobs.
第四十六条 万事屋 憎むべし｡
However, be kind only to Shinpachi. Otherwise, it's harakiri.
しかし 新八君にだけは 優しくすべし｡
逆らえば切腹でさぁ｡
That sounds awful. He's really getting ambitious.
[無線]気持わりぃ！ 本格的に 義兄の座 狙い出したよ！
Oh yeah, there's a bit of a problem.
ああ… そういや ちいと 気になることが…｡
Seems the girl came to Edo with her sister,
どうも ﾔｯｺさん 姉貴と一緒に 江戸に出てきたらしいんですが➡
その姉貴が迷子になったとかで 気が気じゃないんでさぁ｡
but that sister's gone missing. And she's pretty nervous.
お姉さん？ あの手紙に書いてあった？
Sister? The one mentioned in the letter?
[無線](沖田)どうしやす？ これじゃ➡
What do you want me to do? There's no way I can seduce the girl.
口説くどころじゃないですぜ｡
Sis? It's easier to woo a woman when there's no sibling around.
姉ちゃん!? そんなもん いねえほうが口説きやすいだろ？
ﾁｬﾝｽだ｡ 警察に連絡した とか 適当なこと言ってﾃﾞｰﾄを続行しろ｡
It's your chance. Just tell her you called the police or whatever and go on a date.
Say, but I am the police.
[無線](沖田)旦那 ｵﾚ 警察なんですが…｡
女の落とし時は➡
You take a woman when she's worried, drunk or on her graduation.
不安なときと 酔っ払ったときと 卒業式だって➡
相場が 決まってんだよ！ なあ 新八？
That's the usual. Right, Shinpachi?
(姉)あ… あの すみません｡
Excuse me.
Sh-Shinpachi? Did you just say Shinpachi?
し… 新八って➡
い… 今 新八って言いました？
[To be continued]
The next episode...
"Sometimes You Can't Tell Just By Meeting Someone."
[Finally these two meet: Shinpachi and the sister.]
[Coming up next time, the end of the correspondence episode. Please watch without getting turned on.]
[See you next time.]