Our apologies to all our viewers today.
(一同)視聴者の皆様 今日はﾎﾝﾄ すみませんでした！
(新八)って銀さん なんで今日 いきなり謝ってんですか？ ﾎﾞｸら｡
Gin, what are we apologizing for?
Well, something unexpected happened.
(銀時)実はさ 不測の事態が起こってさ➡
Remember last year when we had to skip one episode because of the Japan World Series?
あれ去年 日本ｼﾘｰｽﾞで 放送一本 飛んだじゃん？
It really messed up our schedules. All of a sudden, we had to adjust the number of stories.
(神楽)あのせいで 去年は いろいろ計画がおかしくなったｱﾙ｡
急きょ 話数を入れかえたり｡ だからさ➡
So this year, we did something different.
今年は それを踏まえてさ…｡ まさか…｡
Don't tell me...
Yes, we're one story short.
そう あらかじめ一本 少なく作ってました～｡
Then we didn't have the Japan World Series this year.
(神楽)すると 今年は 日本ｼﾘｰｽﾞが入らなかったので➡
So we're short one story.
一本 足りなくなりました～｡
Therefore, we don't have an on-air episode for you today.
なので今日は放送するものが ありませ～ん！
って えぇっ!? じゃあ どうすんの 今日の放送!?
What?! What are we going to do tonight then?
っつうか 何が不測の事態だ！
Anyway, what did you mean by unexpected?!
Hey, staff! Why couldn't you figure this out?
おい ｽﾀｯﾌ！ 皮算用にも程があるだろ!!
Don't worry. They're writing today's script in the back room right now.
まぁまぁ｡ 今 裏で 必死で本編 作ってっからさ➡
They said we have to ad lib until then.
今日は それまでﾌﾘｰﾄｰｸで つなげっていう お達しだ｡
When did you put in the order? How much longer will it take them to finish?
どこの出前だよ!? で あと何分 もたせれば出来上がるんですか？
(神楽)う～ん だいたい あと29分くらいあるな｡
Well, they need about another 29 minutes.
The show will be over by then!
放送 終わるじゃねえか それ！
On the last recap show, the executives complained to our producer:
だいたい この前の総集編でも偉い人から➡
｢ずっと静止画だと 海外売りとか つらいんだよね｡
"Using stills over a long period causes our sales in foreign countries to drop.
It's hard for foreigners to understand unless the picture is animated."
外国人は動いてないとｱﾆﾒｰｼｮﾝって 理解してくれないからさ｣｡
って ﾌﾟﾛﾃﾞｭｰｻｰから 怒られたばっかじゃないっすか！
Are you kidding? Even Japanese have a hard time understanding the original gags in this anime.
(神楽)何 言ってるね！ このｱﾆﾒ ふだんから➡
日本人でも 元ﾈﾀわからないｷﾞｬｸﾞばっかりね｡
It's too late to do something for foreign countries!
それを今さら海外向けに どうしろいうｱﾙか！
Th-That's true.
まぁ そうなんだけど…｡ そうだよ｡
That makes a lot of sense.
海外売りとか大それたこと考えず とりあえずｵﾚらは➡
Forget about foreign sales.
It sounds like too much. We should just focus on the immediate broadcast.
目先の放送のことだけ 考えてりゃいいんだよ｡
Well, that's why I'm concerned about today's show.
いや だから 目先の今日の放送を どうすんだって話してんだけど…｡
やっぱ まずいですよ｡
It would make no sense to show still pictures with background music for an entire show.
一本まるまる ＢＧｵﾝﾘｰの静止画っていうのは➡
海外どころか 日本でも許されない気が…｡
It's not good for foreign countries or Japan.
Oh give it up, will you?
(神楽)諦め悪いｱﾙな どっかの回しもんあるか？ 新八｡
Are you supposed to be a spy for someone, Shinpachi? TV Tokyo? Or Dentsu?
ﾃﾚ東ｱﾙか？ 電…｡ ああ～っ！
Dah! Don't be so specific!
まずいから そんな具体例だしちゃ！
I understand what the executives meant.
まぁ 偉いさんが言うことも わからんではない｡
In any case, all we have to do is animate the picture, right?
とにかく 画が動きゃいいんだろ？
Then foreign sales won't suffer and the executives will be happy.
そしたら海外売りもﾊｯﾋﾟｰ 偉い人もﾊｯﾋﾟｰ｡
みんな これがｱﾆﾒだって 納得してくれんだろ？
Everyone understands this is Japanese anime, right?
Probably.
たぶん｡ わかったよ｡ じゃあ今日は➡
All right. Let's get motivated and move the picture around.
いっちょ気合い入れて 画 動かしてみっか｡
Here we go!
おっしゃ いくぞ！ (新八/神楽)ｵｰｯ！
Ohhh!
え…？
Eh...
[TEL](ﾊﾂ)そう じゃあ仕事は あれだけど➡
You're saying work is not all right, but you're doing fine.
元気には やってるのね｡ (長谷川)うん まぁな｡
Yeah, kind of.
(長谷川)いや でも 前の仕事の貯金もあるし➡
I have some savings from my last job, so don't worry about me. I'm all right.
全然 生活のほうは大丈夫だから｡ 心配ないから｡
[TEL]また見栄はって｡ 困ったら ちゃんと相談してよね｡
Are you sure? Call me if you have any problems. Are you really all right?
[TEL]大丈夫？ (長谷川)ぜ… 全然だよ｡
Y-Yeah, sure. I live in a fairly decent apartment.
わりかし いい部屋に住んでるし うん かなりｵｼｬﾚな生活してるよ｡
Yeah, it's really stylish.
[TEL]まぁ ﾎﾝﾄ？ じゃあ今度 掃除がてらに見に行こうかしら｡
Really? Then why don't I visit soon and clean up your place?
いや いいよ いいよ！ そんな掃除なんていいよ！
No! I don't need you to clean up!
[TEL]どうせ あなたのことだから➡
I'm sure your room is full of trash, right?
また部屋じゅう ｺﾞﾐだらけなんでしょ？
いや いいって！ そんなの悪いしさ｡
I said no! I don't want to bother you.
[TEL]何？ 私に見られたら 困るものでもあるの？
What? Is there something you don't want me to see?
そ… そんなんじゃねえよ！ 全然きれいにしてるし➡
I-It's not like that! I keep my room clean! Really!
全然 大丈夫だし｡ [TEL]あら それは楽しみ｡
Then I'm looking forward to it.
[TEL]それじゃあ週末ね｡ あっ ちょっと待って…｡
I'll see you this weekend.
Ah, wait!
(電話が切れる音)
Hey, I'm jealous!
おいおい 妬かせるねぇ｡
私 掃除に行きたいってか？
She said, "Can I come to clean your place?" You got yourself quite a little wife there.
そのまんま居座っちゃう つもりなんじゃねえの？ 奥さん｡
そろそろ やり直していい頃 なんじゃねえの？
I guess it's about time for you to start over with her.
一緒に住んじゃえば？
Why aren't you living together?
その… ｽﾃｷな家に｡ ﾜﾝ！
I mean, go live in that wonderful house.
["It's Your House, You Build It"]
(借金取り)すみません ちょっと いいですか？ (ﾉｯｸ)
Hello, we'd like to talk to you. Hasegawa, you're there, aren't you?
長谷川さん いるんでしょ？ (ﾉｯｸ)
長谷川！
Hasegawa!
ﾁｪｯ！
野郎 逃げやがった｡
[Please don't look for me. Hasegawa.]
He already ran off.
ﾊｧ ﾊｧ ﾊｧ！
《借金取りに踏み込まれ 家を飛び出してきたのが➡
Debt collectors were pounding on my door, and I skipped out.
ちょうど ２週間前のことだった｡
That was two weeks ago.
最初の夜は それほどでもなかった｡
I was all right the first night.
住処なんて すぐに見つかると思っていた》
I thought I could find a new place easily.
ﾊｸｼｭﾝ！
《だが どこに行っても➡
But...I couldn't find a room for rent anywhere.
ｵﾚに部屋を貸してくれる者など いなかった｡
そう 借金を踏み倒す 家賃を踏み倒す➡
Right, I didn't pay my debts or rent. I kept doing those kinds of things.
そんなことを繰り返してきた ｵﾚは➡
いつの間にか 業者のﾌﾞﾗｯｸﾘｽﾄってやつに➡
So my name wound up on the real estate black list. Those guys don't mess around.
名を挙げられていたんだ｡
もう ｵﾚに 金を貸してくれる 業者はいない｡
Nobody will lend me money anymore.
もう ｵﾚに 部屋を貸してくれる 業者はいない｡
No real estate company will rent me an apartment.
そう この かぶき町に ｵﾚの居場所は もうないんだ｡
There's no place for me to go here in Kabukicho.
宿無しなんて 一日だけのつもりだったんだ｡
I thought I'd be homeless for just one day.
それが こんな こんな…》
But...
Now I'm like... like this.
いやぁ でも なんか 今までで いちばん しっくりきてるよ｡
But I think you're looking better than ever.
犬に ﾗｼﾞｵに ﾀﾞﾝﾎﾞｰﾙ｡
Dog...
radio...
cardboard box.
宿無し三種の神器を 完璧に着こなしてんじゃん｡
You're completely covered by the Three Sacred Treasures of the homeless.
ついに 天職を見つけたな｡
You've finally found your lifetime job.
いや 天職っていうか 無職なんだけど｡
I don't have a lifetime job. I have no job.
ＦＦ３も いろいろ ｼﾞｮﾌﾞﾁｪﾝｼﾞできたけど 最終的にさ➡
You can change your job in FF3, but the first job, Onion Knight, is the strongest.
最初の たまねぎ剣士が 最強だったじゃん｡
あれと同じだよ｡ (長谷川)何それ!?
It's always the same.
Are you trying to cheer me up? Or do you want me to kick you around?
ﾌｫﾛｰしてんの？ それとも ぶっ飛ばされたいの!?
これの どこが たまねぎ剣士？
How could you say I'm like Onion Knight?
たまねぎの腐ったみたいな においがする｡
You smell like a rotten onion.
ｸﾘﾃｨｶﾙﾋｯﾄした 今の！
That was a critical hit.
もう やだ!! ﾜｵｰﾝ！
No!
宿屋で ﾋｯﾄﾎﾟｲﾝﾄ回復させてくれよ｡
I need a place to stay so I can restore my hit points!
ﾀﾞﾝﾎﾞｰﾙじゃ ﾋｯﾄﾎﾟｲﾝﾄなんて 何にも回復しねえんだよ｡
I can't restore my hit points in a cardboard box!
(長谷川)どうすればいいんだ！ こんな姿 ﾊﾂに見られたら➡
What should I do?
If Hatsu sees me like this, we'll never reconcile our differences. And she'll leave me.
より戻すどころか 確実に捨てられる｡
つうか 自業自得じゃね？ 週末までに なんとかしねえと➡
I'd say you have no one to blame but yourself.
I have to do something by this weekend!
週末までに ｵｼｬﾚで ｽﾃｷな部屋 用意しねえと｡
I need to find a stylish place, even if it's just for the weekend!
なんとかなんねえのか 銀さん！
Can you help me, Gin?
お前なんて とっくに ﾌﾞﾗｯｸﾘｽﾄに 載ってそうなもんじゃん｡
I'm sure your name is already on the black list, maybe even in the Death Note.
ﾌﾞﾗｯｸﾘｽﾄどころか ﾃﾞｽﾉｰﾄに真っ先に 名前 書かれてそうじゃん｡
そうだな じゃあ ｵﾚのﾃﾞｽﾉｰﾄにも お前の名前 書いとくわ｡
Oh, yeah. I'll put your name in my Death Note, then.
じゃあな｡ 待って！ 待ってくれ！
See ya.
Hey, wait! Wait!
[Real Estate]
(不動)長谷川 泰三 38歳 職業 たまねぎ剣士｡
Taizo Hasegawa: 38 years old.
Occupation: Onion Knight.
え… ふむふむ…｡
えっと すみませんけど たまねぎ剣士って➡
Um, excuse me, but I have to ask... What is it you do as an Onion Knight?
具体的に どういった仕事なんですかね｡
ど忘れしちゃって 昔 １回 会ったんですけどね➡
I just can't remember.
I think I met someone once a long time ago who said he was an Onion Knight.
たしか やってる人と｡ えっと… あれです｡
Um... Well...
たまねぎを腐らせる仕事です｡
It's a job that involves fermenting onions.
あぁ じゃあ ﾜｲﾝ的なものを作って➡
I see. It's kind of like making wine and doing this and doing that, right?
あれする感じの あれでしたっけ？
あぁ そうです あれする感じの あれです｡
Oh, yes. Something like that.
あぁ はいはい そういや １回 ﾃﾚﾋﾞで観たわ あれ｡
Oh, I know. I saw that on TV. I think it was on that show Professionals.
ﾌﾟﾛﾌｪｯｼｮﾅﾙでやってたな｡ えっ!?
What?
ﾌﾟﾛﾌｪｯｼｮﾅﾙじゃねえや あの あれ ﾐｭｰｼﾞｯｸ何たらとかいう あの…｡
No, it wasn't on Professional.
That was Music something or other.
ﾐｭｰｼﾞｯｸ…｡
Music?
あれ？ ｳｿ言った感じになってる？ ｳｿ言ったと思ってる？
Oh? Does it look like I'm lying?
You think I'm lying? I really know what it is.
ﾎﾝﾄ知ってるからね｡ (長谷川)ﾊﾊﾊ 大丈夫です｡
No! I believe you!
信じてますよ｡ いや 信じてないよね｡
No, you don't. I noticed some momentary bad feelings between us.
今 一瞬 変な空気になったよね うん｡
ｸｿｯ 婆さんさえ生きてりゃな｡
Shoot, if my wife were still alive, she could prove it for me.
婆さんと一緒に観てたら 証人になるのに➡
１年前に死んじゃってさ ｸｿｯ｡
She passed away one year ago. Darn it.
(長谷川)いや あの もう ﾎﾝﾄ いいですから その話は…｡
Well, I think I've already heard enough about it.
≪爺さんや 洗剤 切れたから➡
Hey, old man! The laundry detergent is running out.
Can you get some real quick?
ちょっと ひと走り 頼むわ｡ (不動)今 仕事中だ！
I'm working right now! I'm going to kill you, old hag!
ぶっ殺されてぇのか!? ｸｿばばあ！ ≪お前が死ね ｸｿじじい!!
Shut up and die, stupid, old man!
あの… じゃあ 物件 紹介するんで 行きましょうか｡
Well, I'll show you some properties. Let's go.
あっ！ はい｡
Oh, yes.
Hey, he's going to show me some properties just like that.
おい… なんか 普通に 物件 紹介してくれるみたいなんだけど｡
Doesn't he have a black list?
ﾌﾞﾗｯｸﾘｽﾄ 行き届いてねえの？ ここまで｡
(長谷川)つうか あの適当な爺さん 何？
Anyway, the old guy seems a little nutty. Who is he?
あれはな このかぶき町のﾒｼｱと 呼ばれる男… 不動 三蔵爺さんだ｡
They call him...
...the Messiah of Kabukicho. His name is Sanzo Fudo.
Um...this isn't it, and so this is... Oh, well.
この町は ｱﾝﾀのような 得体の知れない連中が➡
There're a lot of bums like you in town.
わんさか いる｡
Some are chased, and some have a guilty conscience.
誰かに追われている者 ｽﾈに傷を持つ者➡
誰も相手にしねえ どん底を生きる連中…｡
They're all in an abyss of misery.
There's a real estate agent who gives them a helping hand and a place to stay.
そんな連中に 唯一 手を差し伸べ 居場所を提供してくれる不動産屋｡
Fudo is the kind of person who would offer people a place to stay,
生きとし生ける者 すべてに 平等に居場所をくれる ﾒｼｱ｡
no matter who they were, just like a Messiah.
それが あの不動さんなんだ｡
生きとし生ける者ってさ…｡
Those who are alive.
すみません ちょっと 道 聞きたいんですけど➡
Excuse me, but can you tell me where this property is?
この物件って どこにあるんですかね？
Well, I think he's just not being choosy enough for his clients, right?
(長谷川)それって ただ 客 選んでないだけじゃねえの？
That old man seems careless.
なんか 適当に やってるだけのような気が➡
するんだけど あの爺さん｡
物件 紹介してもらえるのは 嬉しいんだけど➡
I'm glad that he'll show us some properties, but I'm a little anxious as well.
なんか 不安なんだけど｡ (不動)長谷川さん｡
Hasegawa.
Do you have any specific requests for a place?
なんか 具体的に こんな部屋がいいとか➡
希望 ありますか？ えぇ まぁ…｡
Well, yeah... First, the cheapest is the best.
まず 安いのが 第一条件ですね｡
あと できれば ちょっと ｵｼｬﾚな所がいいけど｡
And it's better if it's fancy.
贅沢 言ってんじゃねえぞ｡
Don't expect much.
んなこと 言える身分か？ たまねぎ剣士が！
Don't forget about your situation right now, Onion Knight.
屋根あって 雨露しのげれば それで いいだろ｡
It's enough that there's a roof over your head when it rains.
いや んなこと言ったって ﾊﾂが…｡
But Hatsu is coming.
まぁ 安い１ＬＤＫとかですかね｡ (不動)１ＬＤＫ？
Let's try something cheap, a 1LDK.
[1LDK: 1 bedroom, 1 Living room, and 1 Dining Kitchen]
1LDK?
うん 独り者は １ＬＤＫで まぁ 十分ですよね｡
Yeah, it's enough for a single man.
そ… そうだよね｡
R-Right. I think a single man needs...1WGTM.
独り者は やっぱり ﾜ… １ＷＧＴＭがいちばんだよね｡
Huh? What did you just say?
えっ!? い… 今 なんて？ ﾜ… ﾜﾝ… ３Ｐがいちばんだよね｡
O-One...3P would be perfect!
No, we're not talking about a 3P!
いや ３Ｐの話なんか してねえよ｡
(不動)いや わかってるよ｡
I know that. But I'm getting old, so it's hard to speak in loan words.
歳 とると ｶﾀｶﾅが言いづらくてのう｡
Don't worry, I understand your request and I'll take you.
ちゃんと わかってるから ちゃんと連れてくからさ｡
え～っと… これなんか だいぶ いい感じのあれじゃないかね？
Well, I guess this should satisfy you.
[犬(One)LDK [Dog 犬 pronounced "one" in Japanese]
That's not a 1LDK!
(長谷川)犬ＬＤＫじゃねえよ！
Why do I have to live in such a filthy dog house?!
なんで きたねえ犬小屋に 住まなきゃなんねえんだよ!?
Don't you really know what 1LDK means?
ｱﾝﾀ 完全に １ＬＤＫ 知らねえだろ！
(不動)いや 知ってるよ｡ これは あれだよ！
Of course, I know.
I just thought that was a good doghouse for Hasegawa's dirty mutt.
長谷川さんの その汚い犬 捨てていこうと思って｡
(長谷川)よけいなお世話なんだよ｡
That's none of your business!
(不動)ちょ… ちょっと 勘弁してくださいよ！
Come on, don't get me wrong.
不動産屋が １ＬＤＫ 知らないわけ ないでしょ｡
There's no way that a real estate agent doesn't know what 1LDK means.
That's a common term. We use it a lot.
日常的に出てくる言葉ですよ｡ じゃあ 使ってみろよ｡
Why don't you use it then?
あの… あれ…｡
Let's see... We'll use it after we come back from our trip.
旅から帰ってきたとき よく言います… よね｡
((あぁ… やっぱり １ＬＤＫがいちばんだわ！))
Man, 1LDK is the best!
言わねえよ！ 我が家でいいだろ!!
No way! We'll just say, "My home is the best."
なんで わざわざ 言いづらい １ＬＤＫに➡
Why do you bother replacing it with a complicated word like "1LDK"?
置き換えなきゃいけないんだよ！
I'm sorry. To tell you the truth, my 1LDK went back to her parents' house.
すみません 正直 言うと➡
今 ｳﾁの１ＬＤＫが 実家に帰ってましてね｡
１ＬＤＫが帰ったって どういうことだよ!?
What are you talking about, 1LDK went back to her parents' house?"
お前が帰られる所だろ！
A 1LDK is a place, not a person!
Um...Can you show us some other properties?
(長谷川)あの… 何か もっと 別の物件にしてもらえませんか？
He doesn't care about a 1LDK anyway, only rent. Cheaper is better.
ぶっちゃけ １ＬＤＫに こだわりがあるわけじゃねえしな｡
安きゃいいんだよ 安きゃ｡ あぁ そうですか｡
Is that right? I'm not sure if 1LDK will come back.
１ＬＤＫ もう 戻ってこないかも しれないんだけど いいんですね？
Is that all right with you?
だから どんな１ＬＤＫ!?
What kind of 1LDK are you talking about?!
でしたら こんな物件は いかがでしょうか？
How about this property?
まぁ こんな感じか…｡
It looks good to me.
I'd prefer something more stylish.
(長谷川)ｵﾚは もう少し ｵｼｬﾚなほうが…｡
そうくると思ってましたよ｡ 安心してください｡
I knew you were going to say that. Don't worry.
物件は このｱﾊﾟｰﾄではなく➡
This isn't the one I wanted to show you.
こちらです｡ (長谷川)また犬ＬＤＫ!?
This one.
Another doghouse?!
いや さっきと全然 違いますよ｡ ちゃんと ｵｼｬﾚな物件を…｡
No, this is completely different from the last one. This one is more stylish.
ほら 缶ﾊﾞｯﾁがついてる｡ (長谷川)いらねぇんだよ！
Look!
It has can badges!
No thanks! I don't need those kinds of accessories!
そんな明日からでも できそうな ｵｼｬﾚは!!
っつうか なんで犬小屋に缶ﾊﾞｯﾁ!?
Anyway, why are can badges on a doghouse?
What? I bet you don't know what a 1LDK is, do you?
なに… ｱﾝﾀやっぱり １ＬＤＫ 知らないんじゃ…｡
(不動)ち… 違いますよ｡
That's not right...I said 1LDK is not here.
だから１ＬＤＫは 今 いないって 言ってるじゃないですか｡
もうやめてくんない!? こんなとこ住めないからな！
Stop it! I can't live in that kind of place!
そもそも ここ 人が住むところじゃないから！
That's not even a house for people! Show me a place for people!
人が住んでるとこ紹介してよ！
I see. That's what you wanted. Now I know.
なるほど そうでしたか そうだったんですか｡
(不動)それでしたら 最初から 言ってくださればよかったのに…｡
Why didn't you tell me that in the beginning?
ここならば 自信を持って ｵｽｽﾒできます｡
I'm confident in myself with this place.
(長谷川)何の自信だよ！ もう いい加減にしてくんない！
What kind of confidence are you talking about?!
That's enough! This is just a doghouse!
これ犬小屋だからさ 犬ＬＤＫとか➡
It's not even close to a 1LDK. Did you hear what I said?
そういうﾚﾍﾞﾙの問題じゃ ないからね！
さっきから 何聞いてんのｱﾝﾀ!!
Yes, I did. Look over there!
いえいえ ちゃんと聞いてますって｡
実際 ほら！
See. A person lives there.
ねぇ 人住んでますから｡
(２人)そういう問題じゃねえ！
That's not the point!
That's not right! I'm a useless, old man.
(長谷川)違うんだよ！ ｵﾚ ﾏﾀﾞｵだけど ちょっとＭだけど➡
And I'm a bit of a masochist, but I didn't come here today to play!
今日は 何か ﾌﾟﾚｲしに来たんじゃないから！
ｵﾚの住処を 探しにきただけだから！
I'm just looking for a place to live! I can't live in this kind of place!
ｵﾚ こんなとこ住めないから!!
Why are you getting shy? I'm not your master!
おい なに照れてんの？ ｵﾚ ｱﾝﾀのご主人じゃないからね！
今の言葉攻めじゃないからね！
No one's trying to turn you on!
Well, do you have anything a bit better?
あ… あのさ もうちょっとだけ ﾏｼなのない？
(不動)わかりました｡ 実は あなたみたいな➡
All right. In fact, I've got the perfect place for an Onion Knight like you.
たまねぎ剣士に ﾋﾟｯﾀﾘな部屋がありますよ｡
今度こそ ﾎﾝﾄだよな？
Are you sure this time?
Almost.
惜しい！ ちゃんと ﾂｯｺめば!?
Aren't you going to point it out?
Well, there's some truth in what you meant. I admit it.
いやぁ 確かに ｱﾝﾀの言うことも一理ある｡
それは認める｡ 頼む 銀さん！ 認めないでくれ!!
Gin, please don't!
長谷川さんが たまねぎ剣士っていうより➡
I know Hasegawa isn't really an Onion Knight, but a Dark Knight.
暗黒騎士 いや ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ騎士的な ｼﾞｮﾌﾞだっていうの よくわかる｡
His job is more like a cockroach knight.
(長谷川)いや だから無職だって！
I said I didn't have a job.
けどさ もうあんまり こだわりとか言わねえから➡
And we'll stop being choosy, so please show us a normal and cheap property.
普通の格安の物件 頼むわ｡
ああ それなら いい物件があった｡
All right. Then let me show you a good one. How about that one?
あれなんですがね｡ (２人)えっ!?
What?
(銀時/長谷川)人の話 聞いてた!?
Are you listening to us?!
(不動)ここは ｳﾁが取り扱ってる 物件の中でも➡
This is one of the best apartments among my high-end properties.
最上級の部類のﾏﾝｼｮﾝでして…｡
いやぁ だから 人の話 聞いてんの？
I said, "Are you listening to me?"
This one is always popular and occupied.
(不動)いつも人気で 部屋が埋まってたんですけどね➡
つい先ほど 部屋に空きが出ました｡
But it just now became available. You're really lucky!
いや お客さんは 運がいい｡
And the monthly fee is only three million yen. This is a really rare opportunity.
家賃は 300万円ですけどね どうです？
こんなﾁｬﾝｽ めったにありませんよ｡
そんなﾁｬﾝｽより お前の顔面に ｳﾝｺ叩きつけるﾁｬﾝｽをくれ！
I don't need it, but give me a chance to throw some poop on your face instead.
All right. How about 30,000 yen with a discount instead?
(不動)わかりました｡ じゃあ まけて３万円で｡
(長谷川)えぇ～!? (不動)同じ３が ついてるし➡
Wh-What?
They both have "3", so 30,000 yen is a deal.
３万円で いいや｡ (長谷川)どんだけ適当な理由で➡
What kind of random reason do you have for that kind of discount? It's a 99% discount!
100分の１に！ なに 怒ってんの？ ｷﾚてんの？ ﾔｹｸｿになってんの？
What? Are you angry? Or maybe you've snapped? Or you're desperate?
(不動)実は 前の住人が 仕事の急用で➡
Actually, the last tenant suddenly left because of his job.
突然 出てっちゃって 部屋が そのままなんですよ｡
家財も そのまま｡ 掃除も してなくて➡
So, the household effects are still there. And the place wasn't cleaned up.
そのへんの処分をお客様が 負担していただけるんなら➡
If you'll dispose or take care of those things, I'll give you the discounted price of 30,000 yen for rent.
３万円に まけます｡ えぇ!? そんなんでいいの？
Really? Are you sure? That's all I have to do to live here?
そんなんで ここに住めるの!? するする！ 負担するよ！
No problem! We'll take care of it!
We'll use all the household effects. It's a great benefit to us!
家財道具なんて そのまま使うし かえって お得じゃん！
これは ﾊﾂも喜ぶぞ！
I'm sure Hatsu will be happy.
That's good.
そうですか よかった｡
[NOBORU]
♪♪～
(不動)じゃあ 多少 汚れてるんだけど➡
Well, it's a little bit dirty, as I said. Good luck.
よろしく お願いしますね！
(長谷川)｢何を｣ だぁ!!
For what?!
お前っ！ こ こ こ… あの これ…｡
Whoa! This...is...
O-Obviously...this was the scene of a murder!
あきらかに 殺人現場だろうが!!
By "disposal," does he mean dispose of everything at the murder site?!
(長谷川)｢処分｣って 何!? 犯罪の現場の処分!?
｢負担｣って 何!? 犯罪の片棒の負担!?
And "take care"? Does he mean getting involved in a murder?
あぁ いい眺めだなぁ！
Oh, this is a great view. I bet the view at night is wonderful.
こりゃ夜景も さぞかし きれいだろうなぁ！
(長谷川)お前は 何 のんびりしてんだ!?
Why are you so blasé? Look at the mess we're in!
状況をよく見ろ 状況を！ 何を ひとりで騒いでんだ!?
What are you so excited about? Can you tell me where the murder took place?
いったい どのへんが 殺人現場なんだよ!?
どのへんも このへんも あのへんも血まみれだろうが！
The blood is all over the place!
もう 今にも ｺﾅﾝ君が 飛び込んできそうだろうがよ!?
I wouldn't be surprised if that kid from Case Closed barged in right about now!
えっ これ 血なの!?
Eh? Is this blood? I thought this was a custom-painted wall.
こういう柄の 部屋なのかと思ってた｡
It can't be! It's so disgusting!
こんな 気持悪い柄あるか!!
Hasegawa, please calm down.
長谷川さん 落ち着きなさい｡
殺人現場なんて そんな ﾄﾞﾗﾏみたいなこと➡
You said this was a crime scene? Something like that happens only in a TV drama.
あるわけないでしょう！
これは たぶんここで ﾏｸﾞﾛの解体か なんかしたんだねぇ｡
I think this place was probably used for gutting a tuna or something.
そっちの方が あるかよ!!
That sounds even less likely! Why did a tuna have to be gutted here?
なんで こんなところで ﾏｸﾞﾛさばくんだよ!?
Moreover, why did the tuna write a dying message?
つうか なんでﾏｸﾞﾛが ﾀﾞｲｲﾝｸﾞﾒｯｾｰｼﾞ残してんだよ!?
あん!? これ ﾀﾞｲｲﾝｸﾞﾒｯｾｰｼﾞじゃねえだろ！
What? This is not a dying message.
書道の練習 やってたんじゃねぇ？
So somebody's practicing their calligraphy?
あの ｢ﾉﾎﾞﾙ｣って字を 書こうとがんばってたら➡
It splattered around the room after it worked hard to write NOBORU.
部屋が汚れちゃったんだよ！ (長谷川)どんだけ 力作!?
That's pretty painstaking work!
まぁまぁ…｡ もう いいじゃん！ 何が!?
Anyway, don't worry about it.
About what?
もう 殺されてても 別に いいじゃん！
Even if they were murdered, it's no big deal.
いいわけねえだろ!!
Yes, it is! You sound like this is someone else's problem.
何 他人事だと思って いい加減なこと言ってんの!?
I can't live in a place where there was a murder.
人 殺された部屋で 生活できるかよ!!
It doesn't matter what happened in the past. Now is more important.
過去なんてもんは どうでもいいんだよ｡
大切なのは 今だろ!? (長谷川)いや だから➡
True. There's blood everywhere now... that's what I'm really concerned about.
今 血だらけになってるから 騒いでんだろ!?
Hasegawa, rooms and women are the same.
長谷川さん｡ 部屋も女と同じだよ｡
いいですか よく聞いてください!?
Listen to me.
かわいい子ってのはな ｵﾚたちなんかと出会う前に➡
Most pretty girls have already been "done" by some stupid guy at their middle school
だいたい みんな 中学 高校で ﾊﾞｶみたいな男に…｡
or high school before we ever meet them.
(長谷川)何の話してんの!?
What are you talking about?!
そう 入学当初は ちょっとﾔﾎﾞったい➡
Let's say there's a girl who was unpolished and innocent when she entered school,
清純派のｲﾒｰｼﾞの あの子が➡
but after summer vacation, she's got dyed hair and ear piercings.
夏休みが終わってみると すっかり髪の毛の色は錆び➡
ﾋﾟｱｽの穴なんかが開いている ｢ｱﾚ｣です！
(長谷川)だから何の話!?
Again, what are you talking about?!
I'm positive about it. During summer vacation, she met some loser.
ｱﾚ 絶対そうだから｡
夏越えて 変なﾑｼに つかれちゃってるから｡
夏に浮かれて つけこまれちゃってるから！
In summer, she had so much fun that she was taken advantage of.
Hey! I really don't understand what you're trying to tell me!
ｵｲ！ もう全然話が見えねえよ！
But even so, would you ask her about it?
だからってね つきあい始めて➡
それを ｲﾁｲﾁほじくりますか？
ほじくらねえだろ!?
You wouldn't, right?
You would just keep it in your mind.
そこは黙って 胸にしまいおくだろ｡
You'd like to ask her, "What happened to you during summer?"
夏に 何があったですかなんて 聞きたいか？
いいや 聞きたくないねぇ｡ そういうの 嫌われるから｡
No, you wouldn't. Because you know she'll hate you if you ask.
ﾄﾞﾝ引きですよ そんなことしたら！
It'd be a turn-off for her.
…そうさ｡ 女と出会ったときから➡
That's right. When we meet women, we already know those kinds of things.
ｵﾚたちは もう そんな覚悟 とっくにできてんだ！
部屋も同じさ…｡
And it's the same for rooms.
In general, a good room has been "done" already!
いい部屋ってのはな 出会ったときから➡
もう ﾔﾗれちゃてる もんなんだよ!!
What do you mean that the room has been "done?"
(長谷川)部屋が ﾔﾗれてるって どういう状態!?
And if you have to inquire about the history of every room you find,
それを ｲﾁｲﾁ過去を 詮索するぐらいなら➡
最初っから 部屋探しなんて するんじゃねえ!!
you shouldn't bother!
(不動)なんてこった…｡
Good grief.
(不動)不動産業界に身を置いて➡
I've been working in the real estate business for over 50 years and I never...
五十余年 まさか…｡
まさか これほどまで 部屋を想う お方に出会えるとは｡
I never thought that I would meet someone who really cared about a room.
(長谷川)なんで 泣いてんの!?
Why are you crying? Did any part of that story make you cry?
今の話のどこに 泣ける要素があったの!?
ｳｸﾞｸﾞｸﾞ…｡ 旦那の言うとおりだ｡
He's exactly right. The nice rooms are all tainted.
いい部屋というのは だいたい みんなｱﾊﾞｽﾞﾚです｡
だいたい みんな 殺人事件が起きます！
Most likely a murder happened there.
You liar! I have never heard anything like that!
ｳｿつけ!! 聞いたことないわ そんなの!!
(不動)部屋の持つ魔力とでも いうんですかねぇ｡
I think it's something like the magic of the room.
人は その身だけではなく その精神も部屋にとらわれる｡
The room is not just for a space to live in, but also a place to catch a person's soul.
かくいうこの部屋も 相当な 問題物件でして…｡
As a matter of fact, this is a problem room.
実は もうこの部屋で７人のお方が 亡くなっております｡
Seven people have already died in here.
(長谷川)えぇ～!? (不動)何の影響か➡
What?!
I don't know what the cause was,
この部屋に入った者 皆 瞬く間に殺し合いを演じ➡
but the people who lived here started attacking each other all of a sudden,
瞬く間に死んでしまうのです！
and died soon after.
(長谷川)ｱﾝﾀ よくそんな部屋 ｵﾚに紹介したな!!
Hey, you! Why did you show me such a bad place?!
しかも 金 取ろうとしてたよな!?
In fact, you were even trying to charge me rent!
I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it.
すみません｡ 悪気は なかったんです｡
ただ 呪いの部屋などと 忌み嫌われる➡
I just felt sorry for this room. Everybody thinks it's cursed.
この部屋が かわいそうで…｡
部屋は 人がいて 初めて部屋になるんです｡
The room works out well when occupied.
どんなに いい部屋も 人がいなければ➡
Even if it's a great room, it's just like a hole unless someone lives there.
それは ただの穴だ｡
I know some people call me a Messiah because I save all kinds of people.
巷じゃ 私を あらゆるものを救う ﾒｼｱなどと呼ぶ者もおりますがね➡
私は そんな 大層なものじゃないんです｡
But I don't deserve it.
私はただ すべての穴を➡
I just wanted to turn all these dumps into real rooms.
部屋に変えて やりたかっただけなんですよ｡
よかったな お前も ようやく部屋になれるぞ｡
I'm so glad that you'll become a real room soon.
どうぞ… 旦那にさしあげます｡
Here it is.
I want to give this to you. You can use this room however you want.
この部屋を 好きに使ってくれていい｡
使うのも使わないのも 旦那の自由だ｡
It's totally up to you how you use this room.
ｱﾝﾀなら きっと…｡
I hope you'll...
こいつは ｵﾚには もったいねえや｡
I don't think I deserve this offer.
部屋を必要としてるﾔﾂが 使ったほうが部屋も喜ぶだろ｡
I think this room will be happy when a person who needs a place lives here.
(長谷川)いや 部屋を最も 大事にしてた男が使ったほうが➡
Well, I think a man who takes good care of the room should live here.
部屋も嬉しいだろうさ｡
It'll make the room happy.
I want you to take this.
(不動)旦那に さし上げます｡
I already heard that.
それ さっき１回 聞いた｡
(長谷川)それ さっき聞いたで 渡すのって ひどくね？
It's not nice to hand it to me and say, "I already heard that"?
(不動)旦那｡ ３回目｡ いや…｡
Sir...
This is the third time.
No!
しつけえんだよ！ やるってんだから➡
Enough! I told you I wanted to give it to you. Just take it already!
持ってけってんだ！ いるわけねえだろ！
Who wants such a creepy room?!
こんな気持悪い部屋！
You can't get rid of it by giving it to someone who's a nuisance! It's not fair!
厄介ﾓﾝ 人に押し付けようったって そうはいかねえぞ！
ｵﾒｴ さっきと言ってたこと 全然違うだろうが！
But you're talking about something totally different.
持ってけよ！ 過去は気にしねえんだろうがよ！
Just take it. You said, "It doesn't matter what happened in the past." Didn't you?!
元はといえば 全部 無職のﾃﾒｴが悪いんだろうが！
Right from the start, it was your fault because you don't have a job!
責任とって ここで１人で死んでいけ！
So, accept the responsibility and just die here!
(不動)持ってけって言ってんだろ｡ いらねえって言ってんだろうが！
Take it!
No!
(長谷川)こっちのほうが もっと いらねえんだよ！
I don't want it, either!
Just take it
(唸り声)
(吠え声)
≪殺せ… 殺せ…｡
Ki...Kill...
Kill...Kill...
ふんがぁぁぁ！
[A couple of days later]
Oh, my! This is a really great apartment.
(ﾊﾂ)ﾎﾝﾄに立派なﾏﾝｼｮﾝ｡
こんなところ借りる お金 どこに持ってたのかしら あの人｡
I wonder how he got the money to afford this kind of place?
ﾌﾌ… 差出人不明の 案内書なんて ｼｬﾚたこと➡
He didn't do anything fancy, like sending an invitation without a return address...
できるようになったのね… ﾌﾌ！
Um, oh, here it is.
(ﾊﾂ)え～と… ここかしら？
(ﾊﾂ)こんにちは！ お掃除にきたわよ！
Hello! I came to clean up.
≪殺せ… 殺せ…｡
Ki...Kill...
Kill...Kill...
ｷｬ～ｯ！
[NOBORU]
[Preview]
People say that your heart grows fonder when you don't see your sweetheart for a long time.
I just noticed that he left me for three months.
Although the show is in its third year, I've only been in three episodes.
I'm in the preview right now, or is it only my imagination?
Tune in next time for
"99 Percent of Men Aren't Confident in Confessing Their Love"
[And also: "People Who Don't Believe In Santa Are The Very Ones Who Want To Believe, You Contentious Bastard"]
[Next week we'll give you two episodes and act like nothing happened this week.]