They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder,
《さっちゃん:会えない時間が 愛 育てる とはいうけれど➡
but by the time I realized it, he had been gone for three months.
気づけば 彼に放置されて３か月｡
３年目に入って ３話しか出てない始末｡
Even going into the third year of this series, I've only been in three episodes.
今のｵｰﾌﾟﾆﾝｸﾞに出てるのは 私の気のせいかしら？
Am I just imagining that I'm in the opening credits?
ｶﾞﾏﾝのできなくなった私が 彼と合体… じゃねえや➡
I can't take it anymore. So I figured out a way to make him one with me.
I mean, to get him to pay attention to me.
彼に振り向いてもらうために 選んだ手段！ それは…》
So I...
いらっしゃいませ！
Welcome!
(銀時)すみません ここのｹｰｷの ｻｰﾋﾞｽ券もらったんですけど➡
Excuse me. I've got a coupon for a free cake here.
[Chocolate]
これって使えますか？ ええ 大丈夫ですよ！
Can I use it here?
Yes. Of course. Choose up to three of these cakes here.
この中から お好きなのを ３つまで お選びください｡
ああ これも うまそうだな！ どうしよう？
Ooh. This looks good, too. Which should I choose?
こちらのｹｰｷ 新作になってます！ えっ ﾏｼﾞで？ う～ん｡
This cake is our newest creation.
Huh? Really? Hmm...
(さっちゃん)…って 私を選びなさいよ！
Choose me!
ｹｰｷにさっちゃん あなたの好きなものが➡
Cake and me, the things that you love, have become one and are right before your eyes!
２つ合体して 今 目の前にあるのよ！
そう なんなら そこに銀さんも合体して➡
What do you think? Should we also become one?
あ いや そういう意味じゃなくて➡
Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. No, I did also mean it like that.
ｳｿ そういう意味でもあるんだけど さあ 早く 私ごと召し上がれ！
Now quickly.
Eat me all up.
ああ ちょっと 待ってもらえますか｡
Umm...Just give me a moment.
そちら 当店一 人気のｹｰｷに なってます｡ おっ ﾏｼﾞで？
That is our most popular cake.
What? Really?
何よ それ!? ちょっとって あと どれくらいよ！
What's up with that?!
"A moment"? How long is that?! How long are you going to make me wait?
これ以上 私に待てっていうの!?
《そう 耐えるのよ あやめ｡
Yes, endure it, Ayame.
これはﾌﾟﾚｲ｡ ﾒｽ… の私を じらしにじらして弄ぶ➡
This is a type of role-playing.
It's one of his time-consuming, sadistic tricks designed to torment a pig like me.
ドＳな彼の時間差ﾄﾘｯｸ｡
Then, when he can't take it anymore...
そして いつか 彼も耐えきれなくなったとき…》
((ﾌｯ… 待たせたね｡
Sorry to keep you waiting.
ｵﾚは ﾒｲﾝﾃﾞｨｯｼｭは 最後に食う主義なんだよ！))
I always eat the main dish last
って最高！ やっぱり私のﾂﾎﾞを 押さえてるのは 銀さんだけ！
How wonderful!
Gin is definitely the only one who can push my buttons!
うるせえっ！
Shut up!
ありがとうございました！
Thank you very much.
(さっちゃん)うぅ… 銀さん…｡
Gi...
Gin...
(さっちゃん/近藤)はぁ…｡
["99 Percent of Men Aren't Confident in Confessing Their Love"]
(近藤)ﾌｯ どうした？ ため息などついて｡
What's wrong? Why are you sighing?
ため息？ さっきのは 吐息っていうのよ｡
Sighing? That's called exhaling.
きつい放置ﾌﾟﾚｲに 感じちゃっただけよ｡
Rough fantasy abandonment just turns me on.
っていうか あなたこそ ため息ついてたじゃない？
Anyway, aren't you the one who's sighing?
ため息？ ｵﾚは 愛に満ち溢れる 充実した日々に満腹で➡
Sighing?
I'm so satisfied by my fulfilling, love-filled days, that was just a burp of happiness.
喜びのｹﾞｯﾌﾟをしちゃっただけだ｡
ｸﾞｪ～！ 臭いわ！
That stinks.
It's great!
いいぞ 愛する人の 力になるってのは｡
It's a joy to help the one you love.
互いの愛を感じるからな！
You can feel each other's love.
((お妙:今日も 従業員全員分の ﾊﾞｰｹﾞﾝﾀﾞｯｼｭ買ってこいや。
You've got thirty seconds to go buy Baagen-Daaz for all the staff.
30秒以内な｡ (近藤)いってまいります！))
I'll be right back!
(さっちゃん)それ ただのﾊﾟｼﾘじゃねえか｡
You're just a slave.
どうせ ｱﾝﾀが しつこすぎるんでしょ？
You're probably too persistent, aren't you?
女はね 追いかけたい生き物なの｡
Women are creatures who want a chase.
自分に興味のない男に 惹かれるの！
They like men who are uninterested in them!
男だって追いかけたい 生き物なんだよ！
Men are also creatures who want a chase!
ｷｬﾊﾞ嬢しかり ｸﾗｽのﾏﾄﾞﾝﾅしかり！
For example, cabaret-club hostesses or the class idol.
お前だって 放置ﾌﾟﾚｲとかいって 相手にされてねえだけだろうが！
Besides, you say you're into in fantasy abandonment, but, in reality, he's just ignoring you!
うるさいわね！ それでも私は幸せなの！
Shut up! I'm still happy!
なんなら おすそわけしたいぐらいよ！
I'd even like to share my happiness with you!
そしたら あなたの絶対不可能な 恋も成就するかも… ｵﾎﾎﾎ！
Then you might be able to attain your impossible love!
やれるもんなら やってみろよ！ つうか ｵﾚも余ってるし 幸せ！
Try it if you can!
I'm also more than happy.
お前の恋のｷｭｰﾋﾟｯﾄﾞに なれるくらい… ﾅｰﾊﾊﾊ！
I could even become your love cupid!
《なんだ この変態ドＭの余裕は｡
Why is this masochistic weirdo so confident?
いや 完全無視されてる ｺｲﾂより➡
No, I'm happier having Otae rely on me rather than
ｵﾚのほうが お妙さんに 頼られてる分 幸せに決まってる》
having my love ignore me, like hers!
What's with this gorilla stalker's triumphant smile?
《何よ このｺﾞﾘﾗｽﾄｰｶｰの 勝ち誇った笑い｡
No, I'm happier than he is because I'm more human!
いや 少なくとも ｺｲﾂよりは➡
私のほうが人に近い分 幸せなはず！》
おい そこまで言うなら どっちが幸せか➡
Hey, if you're gonna go as far as to say that, then let's settle things to see who's happier.
決着をつけようじゃねえか！ (さっちゃん)決着？
"Settle things"?
(近藤)ああ どちらが先に 相手の恋を成功へ導けるか｡
Yeah. Whoever can lead the other's love to success.
なるほどね｡ 勝ったほうが真に今 幸せに満ちてると…｡
I see... The one who wins is truly filled with happiness.
勝負だ｡ 上等よ｡
I challenge you.
Bring it on.
(新八)あ…｡ あら 猿飛さん｡
Oh...
Oh.
Sarutobi!
お久しぶりね お妙さん｡
It's been a while, hasn't it, Otae?
実はね おもしろい話を耳にしたの｡
Actually, I've heard something interesting.
知ってる？ あなたを追いかけてた あのｺﾞﾘﾗｽﾄｰｶｰ➡
Haven't you heard?
That gorilla stalker who's been following you
最近 違う人に 興味を持ってるんですってね｡
has developed an interest in someone else.
え？ ｳｿ!? 近藤さんが？
No way! Kondo?!
(さっちゃん) もう ﾗﾌﾞﾚﾀｰまで入手したわ｡
He's already received a love letter from her.
Why do you have it?!
なんで持ってんの？ っつうか なんで記号!?
And why is it in code?!
異国の人らしいの｡
It seems she's from some far-off country.
通訳すると ｢好きすぎて ｷﾐの前に現れるのが恥ずかしい｡
Translated, it says, "I love you so much that I'm embarrassed to appear in front of you.
穴があったら入れたい｣ですって｡
I'd like to bury you in a hole."
入りたいだろ それ！ 意味もう違っちゃってるよ！
It's "I'd like you bury myself in a hole"! The meaning's changed!
その人への贈り物だと 思われる物も見つけたわ｡
I also found something that I believe was a gift to her.
これよ｡ なんで首輪!?
Here it is.
Why a collar?! What kind of woman is she?!
どんな女性なんだよ！ 動物的女性ですって｡
She's a bestial woman.
半ｺﾞﾘﾗのあの人らしいわね｡
She's perfect for him, since he's half gorilla anyway.
《さっちゃん:そう 所詮 女は追いかけたい生き物｡
Yes, women are creatures who want a chase.
自分の前から消えた男を 追いかけたくなるのは自然の理｡
It's only natural that she'd want to go after a man who leaves her.
この勝負 もらったわ！》
I've won this battle!
Wh-What?!
う～ん…｡
何なんだよ ﾃﾒｴは！ さっきからｳﾛｳﾛ ｳﾛｳﾛしやがって！
What the hell are you doing?!
I know you've been following me! Why are you acting surprised?!
何 驚いた顔してんだ！ ﾊﾞﾚﾊﾞﾚなんだよ！
You couldn't be more obvious!
いやぁ 坂田君 こんな所で会うとは奇遇だなぁ！
Well, Sakata, fancy meeting you here.
お～い 聞こえてないよ この半ｺﾞﾘﾗ｡
Hey, you're not listening to me, you half-gorilla.
ったく何なんだよ 男にｽﾄｰｶｰされる覚えはねえぞ｡
What is this?
I don't remember doing anything to warrant getting stalked by a man.
あっ！ ｽﾄｰｶｰといえば 例の あのﾒｶﾞﾈの始末屋な➡
Oh! Speaking of stalkers, that four-eyed assassin
実は最近 他の男に首ったけらしい｡
has recently fallen for another man.
Well, I don't know who it is, but... he's alive.
まぁ 誰だか知らん男だがな とりあえず 生きてるらしい｡
何だよ それ ｵｹﾗかよ？ ﾐﾐｽﾞかよ？
What is he? A mole cricket? An earthworm?
《近藤:ﾌﾝｯ！ 男は所詮 追いかけたい生き物｡
Men are creatures who want a chase.
追われ続けた女が反転すれば 追いたくなるに決まってる｡
If the person who was chasing him turns away from her, he's sure to go after her.
この勝負 もらった！》
I've won this battle!
[Hijiki Dango]
それで そっちは どうなのよ？ 楽勝だな｡ 万事屋のﾔﾂ…｡
So how did you do?
That Odd Jobs guy was easy.
((まぁ ｱｲﾂもｽﾄｰｶｰだけど ﾒｶﾞﾈっ子だし胸でけぇし➡
Well, she's a stalker, but she wears glasses, she has big breasts,
ﾒｶﾞﾈっ子だし 一応 気が利くし ﾒｶﾞﾈっ子だし いいんじゃね？))
she wears glasses, she's sort of considerate, and she wears glasses.
That's it, yeah?
えっ… 銀さんが私のことを そんなふうに!?
Huh? Gin thought of me in that way?!
Now, now. Don't settle for that.
(近藤)おいおい こんなことくらいで喜ばんでくれ｡
最終的には まだ 見放されてるじゃねえか｡
In the end, he still gave up on you.
ところで お前のほうは？
So how did you do?!
余裕よ｡ お妙さん言ってたわ｡
It was easy. Otae said...
((そうなの｡
Is that so?
近藤さん とってもいい人だから ｵｽｽﾒって伝えておいて))
Tell her that I recommend Kondo. He's really good person.
ｳｯｿ！ ﾏｼﾞで!?
No way! Really?!
That was the first time she ever talked about me like that!
そんなふうに言われたこと 初めてなんだけど！
But your happiness aura still isn't very impressive.
でも これくらいじゃ あなたの 幸せｵｰﾗも たいしたことないわね｡
まだ最終的には ｵｽｽﾒされてるんだから➡
In the end, she recommended you. You're still at Yamcha level.
せいぜい飲茶ﾚﾍﾞﾙよ｡
I'm not Yamcha! I'm at least Master Roshi level!
(近藤)飲茶なんかじゃない！ 武天老子ﾚﾍﾞﾙはあるぞ！
(さっちゃん)ﾊｯ！ ｱﾝﾀなんか いいとこ亀頭仙人よ！
At best, you're a turtle-headed hermit.
What did you say?!
(近藤)亀!? なんだと！ (２人)ﾌﾝｯ！
《さっちゃん:でも確かに➡
But I still haven't clinched victory in this battle.
この勝負に勝つには まだ決め手が足りない》
《近藤:勝利には もっと直接的 かつ決定的な仕掛けが…》
In order to win, I need to plan something more direct.
That's it!
そうか！ 思いついたぞ｡
I've got a direct and decisive plan.
直接的かつ決定的な仕掛けが｡
この作戦のるか？ 始末屋｡
Will you join me, assassin?
(近藤)いや 確かに いっそｵﾚらで つき合ったﾌﾘして➡
I said that we should just act as if we're going out with each other, but...
ｶﾏかければいいんじゃね？ って言ったんだけどさ➡
なんで この格好!?
what's with that outfit?!
I'm trying to draw attention to the fact that we're supposedly a stupid couple that's attached to each other.
私たち結ばれてます的な ﾊﾞｶｯﾌﾟﾙをｱﾋﾟｰﾙしてるのよ｡
本当に結ばれてるんですけど！
We really are attached to each other!
でも 確かに悪くない作戦だわ｡
But it's definitely not a bad plan.
女は追いかけたい生き物｡
Women are creatures who want a chase.
いつも そばにいると 安心していた人が➡
If someone whose presence they took for granted really disappears...
本当に いなくなって➡
they'll realize how important that person was.
初めて その人の大切さに 気づくもの｡
ﾌｯ そうだろう｡
That's right!
しかし１つだけ間違いがある｡ え？
But you've made one mistake.
それは女だけじゃねえ｡ 男もだ｡
It's not just women, but men, too.
えっ ﾏｼﾞで？ そりゃ よかった ご両人｡
Huh? Really? I'm glad for the two of you.
えっ!? いや…｡
Huh? Well...
Congratulations, Sarutobi, Kondo.
おめでとう 猿飛さん 近藤さん｡
(近藤)その だから… あれ？
Umm... Well... Huh?
２人の新居に ここ どう？ っていうか ちょっと…｡
What do you two think about living here?
Hey, hold on...
早速 みんなに知らせないと｡ (近藤)ちょっと 待って…｡
I've got to let everyone know.
Hold on! Wait!
はい お祝い｡
Here. In celebration.
(２人)はぁ…｡ なんだか ﾊﾞｶみたい｡
I feel kind of stupid.
どこへ行くの？ もういい ほっといてくれ｡
Where are you going?
That's enough.
Leave me alone.
そう…｡
Okay.
《私が意地になりすぎたから あの半ｺﾞﾘﾗ…》
Because of my pride, that half-gorilla is...
Because of my blustering, that masochist is...
《ｵﾚが強がったせいで あのドＭ…》
♪♪～
どうしたの？ 猿飛さん｡ (さっちゃん)聞いて お妙さん｡
What's wrong, Sarutobi?
Listen to me, Otae!
実は 私と近藤さんは つきあったりしていないの｡
I'm actually not going out with Kondo!
We made it all up!
すべて ｵﾚたちの 自作自演なんだ｡
(近藤)彼女は ｵﾚなんかじゃなく ただ 一途に➡
She doesn't love me.
She is wholeheartedly and seriously is in love with a certain someone!
[MIND YOUR SUGAR LEVELS]
ただ 真面目に 誰かさんを 想ってるんだよ｡
近藤さんが 真剣に愛しているのは ただ１人｡
Kondo only truly loves one person.
ときに凶暴かも知れないけど➡
She's violent at times, and sometimes doesn't make any sense,
たまに言ってること わけわかんないけど➡
and can be a blowhard, and is a terrible heroine.
偉そうで最悪のﾋﾛｲﾝだけど➡
その人しかいないこと わかるでしょ｡
But you know that she's the only one for him, don't you?!
《近藤:そう ﾎﾝﾄは 男も女も…》
That's right. Both men and women
《さっちゃん:愛されることこそが 幸せな生き物なの》
are creatures who are happiest when they're loved.
ったく しかたねえな ﾎﾝﾄ 手間がかかる｡
I have no choice.
What a waste of time.
困ったものね｡
How bothersome.
よう｡
Hey.
G... Gin.
ぎ… 銀さん｡
お妙さん…｡
O-Otae...
I heard from that half-gorilla stalker about you.
あの半ｺﾞﾘﾗｽﾄｰｶｰに聞いたぜ お前が…｡
近藤さんが どんなに真剣かって｡
I heard about how serious you are.
遠慮はいらねえ 今 ここで…｡
Don't hold back.
想いを告げてください｡
Right here declare your feelings.
《さっちゃん:そう これが この勝負の結末》
Yes... This is the conclusion to the battle.
《近藤:ｵﾚたちの争いなど 無意味だった》
Our fighting was pointless.
《近藤さん…》 《さっちゃん…》
Kondo.
Satchan!
《２人:ありがとう 私 幸せになります！》
Thank you!
I will be happy!
I've always loved you!
ずっと 好きでした！ つきあってください｡
Go out with me!
(長谷川)え…｡ (ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)ん？
Huh?
あれでしょ？ 近藤さんの好きな人って➡
It's her, right?
The person you love is from a far off country, bestial, sometimes violent,
異国の人で 動物的で それと ときに凶暴で➡
言ってること わけわかんなくて 偉そうで 最悪のﾋﾛｲﾝ｡
sometimes doesn't make sense, a blowhard, and a terrible heroine.
それって ｷｬｻﾘﾝさんでしょ？
That's Catherine, right?
ｹｯ 私と つりあうと 思ってんのか？ 半ｺﾞﾘﾗ｡
Do you really think that you're a match for me, you half-gorilla?
あれだろ？ お前の好きなのって➡
It's him, right?
The person you like is living, and seriously in love with someone...
とりあえず 生きてるﾔﾂで 真面目に 誰かさんを想っている➡
略して ﾏﾀﾞｵ それって 長谷川さんだろ？
DORK for short. That's Hasegawa, right?
いやぁ でも ｵｯｻﾝ 結婚してるから｡
But I'm married.
(近藤/さっちゃん)えぇ～!?
[Kabukicho 1st Street]
♪♪～
ｽｲｰﾂ 食べた～い｡
I want some sweets.
ｱﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！
Geez.
ったく… 無意味な道路工事 ｸﾘｽﾏｽ前のﾊﾞｶｯﾌﾟﾙども➡
Meaningless road construction, stupid couples before Christmas,
old men who get carried away at year-end parties...
忘年会で 調子にのりすぎた おっさん…｡
When did the wintertime become so much of a pain in the ass?
いつから 冬の風物詩ってのは こんなｼﾞｬﾏなもんになったんだ？
6,000 yen an hour!
≪１時間 6,000円｡ 飲み放題だよ！
All you can drink.
We've got a Christmas event today...
本日は ｸﾘｽﾏｽｲﾍﾞﾝﾄ｡ ｻﾝﾀﾌﾟﾚｲのｵﾌﾟｼｮﾝｻｰﾋﾞｽ付き｡
With an optional Santa role-playing service.
[Cabaret Club]
[Lipstick Whale]
[6,000 Yen]
This service is free.
ｻｰﾋﾞｽは 無料になってます｡ そこの おにいさん どうぞ 寄ってって！
You, sir, come on in!
He's...
ｱｲﾂは たしか…｡ おう おう… じいさんよ！
Hey, gramps!
When are you going to pay us back, huh?!
いつになったら 金 返してくれるんだよ？ おぉ!?
I-I'm working right now.
い… 今 仕事中なんだよ｡
Sorry, but could you wait until afterwards?
すまないけど あとにしてくれないか？
What did you say?
なんだと ｺﾗ！ なめてんじゃねえぞ ｺﾗ!!
Don't fool around with me!
Tell that to me after you pay us back.
払うもん 払ってから 言えってんだよ！
Well, I'll have it by tomorrow... I can only pay you the interest...
あ… いや 明日には必ず なんとか 利子のほうだけでも…｡
Just the interest?!
利子のほうだけだと!? ｺﾗ！
ふざけたこと ぬかしてんじゃねえぞ ｺﾗ！
Don't talk nonsense!
(ﾍﾞﾝ)ちょっと 止めてくれ｡
Stop right here.
I'm saying that I want you to return all my money.
元金 返せって 言ってんだよ こっちはよ！
No way... I can't pay back 20,000,000...
(ｻﾝﾀ)そんな… 200万円なんて大金 今のわしには…｡
What?!
なんだと!? ｺﾗ！ (ﾍﾞﾝ)おい そこのﾁﾝﾋﾟﾗ｡
Hey, you thug.
なんだ!? ｺﾗ！
What do you want?
I'll shoulder that old man's debt.
(ﾍﾞﾝ)そのじいさんの借金 ｵﾚが 肩代わりしてやるぜ｡
2,000,000, was it? Here!
200万円だったな？ ほらよ｡
It's been a while... Gramps.
(ﾍﾞﾝ)久しぶりだな じいさん｡
You're...
お前は… ﾍﾞﾝ！
Ben!
[2,000,000 Yen]
(ﾁﾝﾋﾟﾗ)へい すいやせん すいやせん｡
All right, it's all here.
ありがとうございやした｡ じゃあ すいやせん 失礼します！
Thank you very much.
Excuse me.
(ﾍﾞﾝ)じいさんよ あんまし あくどいとこで➡
Gramps, don't go borrowing money at crooked places.
金 借りんじゃねえよ｡ (ｻﾝﾀ)ﾍﾞﾝ お前…｡
Ben... You...
よう よう！ お二人さん｡ 運命の再会って感じだな｡
Hey, you two.
This looks like a fateful reunion.
(ｻﾝﾀ/ﾍﾞﾝ)ｱﾝﾀは…｡
You're...
["People Who Don't Believe In Santa Are The Very Ones Who Want To Believe, You Contentious Bastard"]
So the three of us meet again. What a coincidence.
しかし 奇遇だな｡ また こうして ３人 会えてよ｡
[Oden]
でも ｱﾝﾀら ずいぶんと 雰囲気 変わったよな｡
You've changed quite a bit, haven't you?
A lot's happened...
いろいろ 事情があってな｡
Oh yeah?
事情ね…｡
ｻﾝﾀ 辞めたんだよ｡ ほぉ～ ｻﾝﾀ 辞めたの？
I quit being a Santa...
Oh? You quit being a Santa?
あっ！ それで 客引きか｡ (ｻﾝﾀ)そうだよ｡
Is that why you're a tout?
That's right.
I see. Your skills from your former job can be put to use.
なるほどね… あれなら 前の仕事 活かせるしな｡
Not at all. It's a completely different world.
(ｻﾝﾀ)いや 全然 ちげぇよ｡ むしろ 真逆の世界だよ｡
It's the same in the way that you give people dreams at night, right?
夜に 人々のために 夢を配るって意味では 一緒だろ｡
But why? Why did you quit being a Santa?
でも なんでよ？ なんで 辞めたの？ ｻﾝﾀ｡
最近のｻﾝﾀ事情ってのは 厳しいんだよ｡
Lately, things have been rough for Santas...
The laws have been revised and Santa-pension allowances
法の改定でｻﾝﾀ年金の支給額は減り 医療費は増える一方だ｡
have decreased while our medical expenses have gone up.
Martinez in the official Santa Division says that there's nothing that can be done.
役所のｻﾝﾀ課の ﾏﾙﾃｨﾈｽさんも どうしようもできんと言っとった｡
What's a Santa-pension? And who is Martinez?!
ｻﾝﾀ年金って なんだよ？ つうか ﾏﾙﾃｨﾈｽさん 誰!?
Long ago, it was a better age for Santas.
(ｻﾝﾀ)昔は もっと ｻﾝﾀに優しい時代だったがな｡
Right now, if you work as a Santa, you can't make any money, let alone eat.
今や この国じゃ ｻﾝﾀなんて仕事は 金にならんし 食っていけん｡
We're not needed.
そもそも 必要とされていない｡ なるほどね｡
I see...
They take advantage of us because we have criminal records...
だいたい 前科者のｵﾚたちの足もと 見やがるのよ ｱｲﾂらは…｡
Criminal records?
前科？ あぁ｡
Yeah. We'd get arrested by the police while we're doing our Santa job...
ｻﾝﾀの仕事のさなかに おかっぴきに➡
とっ捕まっちまってな｡ とっ捕まったって 何？
You got arrested? Why would they arrest you?
なんで 捕まったの？ (飲み屋の親父)ﾌﾌﾌﾌﾌ…｡
Sir, I hate to interrupt, but I figured it out.
旦那 よけいな口 挟んで すいやせんが➡
あっしは もう わかりやしたよ｡
It's that thing, isn't it? Exhibition of an obscene object...
ほら… あれでしょ？ 何の罪かって 猥褻物陳列…｡
No, it's not! What the hell?!
(ｻﾝﾀ)違うから！ 何？ それ！
What kind of present would we have to give to be arrested for that?!
いったい どんなﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄしたら そんな罪状になるわけ？
[Oden]
[Yakitori]
[Sake]
I'm talkin' about trespassing, trespassing!
だからね あれよ 家宅侵入罪よ 家宅侵入罪！
Why would a Santa be arrested trespassing? Isn't that weird?
なんで ｻﾝﾀが家宅侵入になるのよ｡ それ おかしくない？
Well, it had to do with the way we looked. There was a problem with that.
(ｻﾝﾀ)いや だからね 格好がね 格好が ちょっと問題があって…｡
Sir, I hate to interrupt, but I figured it out.
旦那 よけいな口 挟むようですが あっしは もう わかりやしたよ｡
問題のある格好ってのは あれですね｡
The problem was that thing, wasn't it?
恥部を露出して ﾌﾞﾗﾌﾞﾗ…｡
Your junk was hanging out...
I told you, that's not it! What's wrong with you?!
(ｻﾝﾀ)ちげぇって言ってんだろ！ ｵﾒｴ 何!?
You look like such a dandy, but that's all you ever think about!
あいかわらず ﾀﾞﾝﾃﾞｨな顔して 頭ん中 そればっかか！
格好ってのは あれだよ ｱﾝﾀが ﾑﾘやり ｵﾚたちに着せた…｡
Our look was that thing...
That thing you forced us to wear.
あぁ…｡ あの格好じゃ 言い訳も できねえ｡
We couldn't make any excuses dressed like that.
たちまち 前科一犯よ｡ あっ…｡
We instantly became ex-convicts.
That was the beginning of my downfall...
あれが つまづきの始まりだ｡
Things are easy while you're on the right track, but once you fall off...
(ｻﾝﾀ)ﾚｰﾙってのは 乗っかってるうちはいいが➡
一度 外れちまうとな なかなか元には戻れねえんだよ｡
It's hard to get back on.
ｻﾝﾀ稼業に 見切りをつけた わしらは➡
After I gave up the Santa business, we did all sorts of jobs...
いろんな仕事をやった｡
Gas station attendants, building window washers, convenience store clerks...
ｶﾞｿﾘﾝｽﾀﾝﾄﾞの店員 ﾋﾞﾙの窓拭き ｺﾝﾋﾞﾆのﾊﾞｲﾄ｡
だが どれも長続きしなかった｡
But none of them lasted long...
どうにも こうにも 立ち行かなくなっちまってな…｡
We couldn't make a living.
There was no point in remaining together...
このまま２人でいても しかたねえってことで➡
So we decided to walk our own paths...
わしらは それぞれの道を歩むことにした｡
しかしな 世の中 そんなに甘かねえ｡
But life wasn't so easy...
あぁ～！ やること なすこと 全部裏目よ｡
Everything I did backfired.
気がついたら借金地獄で 首が回らなくなってた…｡
Before I realized it, I was neck-deep in debt... I've fallen as far as I could fall.
堕ちるとこまで堕ちたもんだ｡
My future is dark. I want to borrow a reindeer's nose.
(ｻﾝﾀ)もう お先真っ暗｡ ﾄﾅｶｲの鼻でも借りてぇよ｡
(ﾍﾞﾝ)貸さねえよ｡
I'm not lending you mine.
Anyway, Ben, you really helped me out. Thank you...
(ｻﾝﾀ)でもよ ﾍﾞﾝ さっきは ﾎﾝﾄに助かったぜ｡
ありがとうよ｡ (ﾍﾞﾝ)いや… ｵﾚだって真っ暗よ｡
Well, my future is dark, too.
真っ暗？
Dark?
But you've come up in the world, haven't you?
ずいぶんと羽振り よさそうだったじゃねぇか？
金じゃねえ｡ 心の話よ…｡
I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about my heart...
Your heart?
(ｻﾝﾀ)心？ ああ…｡
Yeah... Right now, my soul doesn't even have a single watt of shine in it.
今のｵﾚの魂は １ﾜｯﾄの輝きも ねえんだ｡
じいさんと別れたｵﾚは 小さなｻﾗ金会社に就職した｡
After I split from you, I worked in a small money lending business.
どうやら ｵﾚには 商才があったみてぇで➡
It seems I had a knack for it and I quickly became successful...
瞬く間に出世した｡
独立して 今じゃ ｻﾗ金会社の社長よ｡
I went off on my own, and now I'm the president of my own loan sharking business.
I extended into real estate and stocks and tons of cash comes in every day.
不動産や株にも手ぇ出してな➡
毎日 とんでもねぇ額の金が 入ってきやがる｡
だがよ… なんだか むなしいのよ｡
But I feel kind of sad.
金があって 生活は 満たされてるはずなのに➡
I have money and my life should feel fulfilling... But there's a hole in my heart...
心に ﾎﾟｯｶﾘ穴が空いちまってる｡
ついよ… つい思い出しちまうのよ｡
I always end up remembering my time with you...
じいさんと走っていた あの頃のことを…｡
I had no money. I had nothing.
(ﾍﾞﾝ)金もねえし 何もなかった｡
But life seemed to have meaning to it.
でも なんだか生活に 張りってもんがあったんだ｡
すべてが輝いてた｡
Everything shined...
子供たちの ﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄをもらったときの➡
I felt encouraged just when I thought
あの笑顔を考えただけで なんだか力が湧いてきたんだ｡
of the smiles children had when they got presents...
もう一度 走れねぇもんかな じいさん…｡
Can we run once more, gramps?
できんじゃねぇの？
You can, can't you? It's easy, isn't it, gramps?
簡単なことじゃねぇか！ なぁ じいさん！
何を今さら…｡
After all this time...
Say, what do you want for Christmas?
(ﾄﾝ吉)なあ ｸﾘｽﾏｽ 何もらう？ (ﾁﾝ平)ｵﾚ ﾍﾗﾌﾞﾅｾｯﾄ！
I want a Crucian carp set!
What are you talking about? There is no Santa!
(ｶﾝ太)なに ﾊﾞｶ言ってんだよ！ ｻﾝﾀなんか いるわけねえだろ!!
ちげぇよ！ 父ちゃんに買ってもらうんだよ！
No! I'm going to have my dad buy it.
I see.
(ｶﾝ太)なんだ！ (３人)ﾊﾊﾊﾊ！ そうだよ！
That's right. There is no Santa anymore.
ｻﾝﾀは もう いないんだよ！ 何言ってやがる｡
What are you talking about?
最近のﾔﾂらは 大人も子供も 夢あるものを信じられんのだよ｡
Nowadays, people, both adults and children, don't believe in the things of dreams.
How can I run in such a world?
そんな世の中で どうやって走りゃいいんだ｡
How can I fly?
どうやって飛べばいいんだ｡ だいたい もうｿﾘなんか➡
Besides, I already sold my sleigh.
とっくに 売り払ったっていうのによ｡
ｿﾘ…！ お安い御用だ！
A sleigh...
A simple request!
Get on.
よし 乗れ！
What are you talking about?!
｢乗れ｣じゃねえよ お前！
Its former residents are still in it!
いまだ 先住民の方が いらっしゃるじゃねえか！
I told you two years ago that he's a fairy called Cardboard Box O-san
だから それは ﾀﾞﾝﾎﾞｰﾙｵｰｻﾝて妖精だって➡
おととし言っただろ!? いや だからこれじゃ➡
No way. This is just like two years ago!
おととしと同じだろうが！ いや ｿﾘぐらい➡
I can buy a sleigh.
ｵﾚ買えますから 金あるんで！
I have money, so I can get one no problem.
そこらで ﾁｮｲﾁｮｲ～と買えますから！
あぁ～ 金持ちの悪いとこ 出たよ ほら！
Look, your bad, wealthy habits have come out.
そういうの よくないよ!? お金の ないなかで➡
That's not good.
You've got to work hard when you don't have any money.
なんとか努力するって とこがないと！
でもね なんでよりによって また ﾘﾔｶｰなんだよ!?
Why a bicycle-drawn cart again?!
(ﾑｻｼ)｢ﾘﾔｶｰ｣じゃねえ！ ｽｲｰﾄ ﾏｲﾎｰﾑじゃあ!!
It's not a cart. It's my sweet home!
Oh, sorry.
あっ… すみません｡ ｿﾘでも ﾘﾔｶｰでも➡
It doesn't matter if it's a sleigh or a cart, does it?
なんでも いいじゃねえか！
It doesn't matter what you use. All that matters is what you give.
｢何で｣届けるかじゃねえ｡
大切なのは ｢何を｣届けるかだ！
しかしなぁ…｡ 今の わしは借金まみれで➡
But...
Right now, I'm in debt and I'm a barker for a cabaret club...
ｷｬﾊﾞｸﾗの客引きを しているような身分｡
こんな薄汚れた男に➡
Does a ruined man like me have the right to grant children their dreams?
子供たちの夢を叶える 資格なんか…｡
何 格好つけてやがる｡ ｱﾝﾀは 苦労して苦労して➡
Stop acting so cool.
You suffered and suffered and now you realize that being a Santa is what you're good at.
やっぱり ｻﾝﾀが 自分にむいてたって➡
ようやく わかっただけの ことじゃねえか｡
今 ｱﾝﾀは自分が 何をしたいのかわかってる｡
You you know what you want to do now.
Aren't you glad?
よかったじゃねえか！ ｱﾝﾀは 今 心から➡
You want to be a Santa from the bottom of your heart, right?
ｻﾝﾀをやりたいって思ってんだろ!?
Mom! Get a hold of yourself, Mom!
(百合)お母さん!! しっかりして お母さん!!
Mom! Are you all right, Mom?
(百合)お母さん！
大丈夫 お母さん!! どうした!?
What's wrong?
お母さんが お母さんが…!!
Mommy...Mommy...
あっ… 嬢ちゃん！ 嬢ちゃんは あんとき➡
Little girl!
You're Yuri. You asked for a kendama and a kind mother.
けん玉と 優しかったお母さんを 欲しがってた 百合ちゃん！
(百合)赤ちゃんが 産まれそうなの！
She's going to give birth!
ﾔﾊﾞｲぜ こりゃ！ 救急車 呼ぼうか!?
This is bad!
Shall we call an ambulance?
(お母さん)あぁ～っ!! お母さん!!
Mom!
No. We don't have time to be waiting for an ambulance!
ﾀﾞﾒだ 救急車なんか 待ってる ﾋﾏはねえ！
わしが連れていく！
I'll take her!
Ben, let's go!
ﾍﾞﾝ 行くぞ！ えっ!?
…おう！
All right!
すっ飛ばせ～!! おう!!
Fly!
All right!
Mommy! Mommy!
お母さん お母さん！
(百合)大丈夫だからね！ (お母さん)ぐわ～!!
It'll be all right!
はいよ～！ ぬおぉぉぉ～!!
Hiyah!
[Oedo Hospital]
(赤ちゃんの産声)
Thank you so much.
このたびは 本当にありがとうございました｡
Who knows what might have happened if you weren't there...
あなた方が いなかったら どうなっていたことか…｡
まぁ よかったよ ｱﾝﾀから ちゃんと かわいい赤ちゃんが➡
Thank goodness, you gave birth to a cute baby.
産まれてきて｡ どういうこと!?
What do you mean by that?!
(ﾍﾞﾝ)おい あんまりｵﾚたちが 長居してても…｡
Hey, we shouldn't stay too long...
そうだな｡ (百合)あっ…｡
Yeah.
Wait, Santa!
待って ｻﾝﾀさん！ ん!?
…ありがとう ﾌﾌｯ！ ぬおっ!!
Thank you.
Thank you for giving me a cute brother and a kind mother.
私に かわいい弟と➡
優しいお母さんを 届けてくれて！
…ﾌｯ！
(ｻﾝﾀ)当たり前じゃよ｡
Of course.
いい子にしてれば 必ず ｻﾝﾀは来るもんじゃ｡
Santa will always come if you're a good girl.
≪(明石屋ｻﾝﾀ)ごうか～く！ (八木ｱﾅ)石神井町の➡
[Odd Jobs Gin]
Pass!
We'll be giving a present...
高松 信司さんに ﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄしま～す！
Shinji Takamatsu of Shakuji-machi.
しょうゆこと～！ (神楽)なかなか➡
That's right!
They haven't read Shinpachi's letter.
新八の手紙 読まれないｱﾙな｡
Anyway, they always show this every year, don't they?
しっかし 毎年よくやるｱﾙ｡ こんな番組｡
神楽すまねえ ちょっと静かに してくんねえか｡
Kagura, sorry, but could you be quiet for a moment?
Oh, sorry, Gin-chan.
おっ ごめん銀ちゃん｡ ﾃﾚﾋﾞの音あげるｱﾙか？
Want me to turn up the TV?
Naw.
ちげえよ 聞きてえんだよ｡
I want to hear...
ｻﾝﾀの鈴の音を｡
The sound of Santa's bells...
(鈴の音)
The next episode:
"Let's Talk About The Past Once In A While."
[A photograph of Gintoki and a beautiful woman found by Kagura while cleaning out the house.]
[And that gets Gintoki talking about how the Odd Jobs business used to be.]