ﾊﾞｶ お前！
すみません ｴﾘｶ様！
今は昔の話だ｡
今どき こんなもん ﾁﾝﾊﾟﾝｼﾞｰでもできるよ！
謎のﾌﾟｰ太郎 坂田金時と➡
飲んで飲まれて 野茂茂雄！
(歓声と拍手)
しかし そこに男が２人｡
かつて 和製ﾎｽﾄが 夢を馳せた新宿の空には➡
♪♪～
今は 異国ﾎｽﾄたちの言葉が飛び交う｡
＜新八:ﾎｽﾄの国… ｵﾚたちの街が そう呼ばれていたのは➡
今 ２人が 汚れた夜の街を駆け抜ける＞
かつての ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰ１ﾎｽﾄだった ｹﾂｱｺﾞ新八｡
はい！ ｲｯｷ ｲｯｷ ｲｯｷ ｲｯｷ…！
(ﾎｽﾄたち)飲んで飲んで～！ 吐くまで飲んで～！
[New TV Show]
なんで できないんだよ！
すっ すみません｡
[Note: Spoof of Episode 3]
The land of the host.
ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰ１ﾎｽﾄしか やってこなかったものですから｡
There was a time, long ago, when our town was called by that name.
えい！ あぁ～！
Those dream-filled Shinjuku skies, upon which Japanese hosts once gazed upon their dreams,
ﾅﾝﾊﾞｰ１も 客も もう とっくに滅んだんだよ！
are now filled with words by hosts from foreign countries.
それを いつまで 売れっ子気取りですか？
ﾃﾒｴは！ ああ!? ねぇねぇ｡
However, there were two men.
そのへんにしておけば？
お酌はいいから 火 お願い｡
The enigmatic vagrant, Gintoki Sakata
あっ はい… ただいま｡
and the former number one host, Shinpachi Buttchin.
The two of them still run in this corrupt night town.
ｷｬｰｯ！ 何やってんだ ｹﾂｱｺﾞ！
つい ﾁｮｯｶｲ出したくなるのよね～｡
[Note: "Kintama" - homonym for "testicles." Also, "Kin" means "gold" as opposed to "Gin" (silver).]
(笑い声)
[Episode 1]
And drink! And drink!
＜客も地位も もぎ取られ➡
誇りも何も ｵﾚは捨て去った＞
Drink until you puke!
何やってんだよ 新八！ すみません お客さん｡
Chug one! Chug two! Chug-a-choo-choo!
[Note: Spoof of drinking game./ Original text is Shigeo Nomo, combination of two baseball players Hideo Nomo and Shigeo Nagashima. Nomo sounds like "to drink" in Japanese.]
And chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
ｵﾒｴが謝んだよ 役立たず｡
≪おい｡
You idiot!
I'm so sorry, Erica-sama.
＜ｿｲﾂは ﾎｽﾄというには あまりにも荒々しく➡
Nowadays, even a chimpanzee could do this!
Why can't you do this?
しかし 客というには…➡
I-I'm sorry.
あまりに まっすぐな目をした男だった＞
Being the number one host is the only thing I've ever done...
♪♪～
That number one stuff and your customers are all gone!
How long are you going to act as if you're popular? Huh?
ﾄｲﾚ… どこっすか？
Come on now.
Just leave it at that.
《素通り!?》
Don't bother with the drinks. Just get me a light.
Oh... All right. Right away.
What are you doing, Buttchin?!
I can't help but want to mess with him.
My position and customers have been taken away.
I have abandoned my pride and everything else.
What are you doing, Shinpachi?!
I'm so sorry, Miss.
You apologize too, you worthless piece of trash!
Hey.
He was too fierce to be called a host.
But too focused to be called a customer.
Where's your restroom?
He was just passing through!
[To Be Continued]
One, two, three! Go!
(子供たち) ちっちのち！ いけ～っ!!
♪♪～
Here!
みたらし ４本ね｡
Four mitarashi, right?
[Note: Mitarashi are sweet soy sauce flavored dango.]
はい 240円 ちょうど！ 毎度あり！
240 yen exactly.
Please come again!
≪ちょんまげって なんで あんな頭の毛➡
[Note: Chonmage is the traditional Japanese topknot hairstyle worn from the Edo to Meiji period.]
Do you know why Chonmage turned into something that involved shaving?
剃るようになったか知ってる？
頭に吹き出物でも できたんじゃねえの？
People started growing pimples on the top of their head or something?
違う違う｡ ありゃあな➡
No, no. It was so it wouldn't get too stuffy when they put their helmets on.
兜を被るときに蒸れないためよ｡
つまり いつでも戦に行けるという➡
In other words, it's a symbol of how the samurai are always prepared for battle.
侍の気構えを表してるわけ｡
Like the spirit of a samurai.
いわば 侍の 魂なわけだよ｡
魂ね～｡
Spirit, huh...
But these days, they've given up the Mage hairstyle and the spirit.
[Note: Mage is short for Chonmage]
それが 今はどうだい｡
どいつもこいつも 髷とともに魂を投げ捨て➡
やれ ﾊﾟｰﾏをあててくれだ やれ 髪を染めてくれだ…｡
Now they want their hair all curly or dyed.
侍の国が 聞いて呆れると思わねえかい？
Wouldn't the Land of Samurai be shocked to know?
なげかわしいね～｡ そうだろ？
It's a disgrace.
Isn't that right?
で… 今日は どうする？
So what'll it be today?
ｽﾄﾚｰﾄﾊﾟｰﾏで｡
A straight perm.
ｵﾔｼﾞ しつけえんだよ｡
You never give up, Pops.
そんな話 何べんされたって ｵﾚは 髷なんか結わねえ｡
You can tell that story for the rest of your life and I still won't ask for a Mage.
ｽﾄﾚｰﾄﾊﾟｰﾏで｡ ﾀﾞﾝﾅ しつこいんだよ｡
A straight perm.
You never give up, big guy.
ｱﾝﾀの頭は そんなんじゃ治んないの｡
That won't be enough to fix your hair.
性格のねじれが 毛根から出てんだから｡
Your twisted personality is twisting your hair.
Just go with a Mage.
髷にしな！ 中身から たたき直しな｡
We have to fix you from the inside.
いいかげんにしろよ｡ 髷が侍の魂？
Cut it out already.
A Mage is the spirit of a samurai?
あんなもん ﾊｹﾞ散らかったｵｯｻﾝたちの➡
That's just an excuse those balding oldies came up with.
ただの言い訳だろうが｡
"This isn't a receding hairline.
｢ｵﾚは ﾊｹﾞじゃありません 兜 被るためなんですぅ｣？
It's so I can wear the helmet."
兜の前に ﾂﾞﾗ被れ！ ﾊﾞｶ野郎｡
Put a wig on before you wear the helmet, moron.
わかってないねぇ｡
You have no idea.
You don't shave your head so you can put the helmet on.
兜を被るために ﾊｹﾞになるわけじゃなくてね➡
兜を被るから ﾊｹﾞになるんだよ｡
You become bald because you're wearing a helmet.
Bruno ***na,
[Note:Ayrton Senna de Silva, Formula 1 driver]
｢ｾ…様｣しかり ｢…ﾁｪﾛ｣しかり ｲｹﾒﾝで知られた ｢ｳﾞｨﾙ…｣でさえ➡
Rubens *******ello...
[Note: Rubens Barrichello, Formula 1 driver.]
Even *****neuve, famous for being handsome, had a receding hairline after four years in the F1.
[Note: Jacques Villeneuve. Also Formula 1 driver]
Ｆ１に参戦して ４年で薄らﾊｹﾞだよ｡
Going airtight can lead to scary results.
怖いんだよ 密閉は｡
F1 drivers don't tie their hair back.
Ｆ１ﾄﾞﾗｲﾊﾞｰは 髷結ってねえだろ｡
See?
な？ 髷は 存在証明である一方で➡
Not only is Mage part of the identity,
みんなで ﾊｹﾞれば ﾊｹﾞじゃなくなるっていう➡
the whole idea is a kind of practice, where everyone shaves their head so bald people don't feel bad.
優しさをはらだんだ 風習でもあるわけだよ｡
みんなでﾊｹﾞて ひとつになろうという｡
We can all go bald together.
何それ？ 人類補完計画？
What's that?
Some kind of human instrumentality project?
[Note: From Neon Genesis Evangelion]
You done yet, Gin-chan?
(神楽)終っわたｱﾙか？ 銀ちゃん｡ あら？
Huh?
ちょっと 何それ｡ 全然 すっきりしてないじゃないの｡
Hey, what is this?
That's not cleaned up at all.
そんなんじゃ またすぐ 切りにこなきゃﾀﾞﾒでしょ｡
He'll have to come get it cut again in no time.
もっと 短く 刈り込んでもらいな｡
Cut it shorter.
ﾏｽﾀｰ ｽﾎﾟｰﾂ刈りにしてください｡ おかあさん!?
Master, please give him a buzz cut.
Mom?!
An afro perm works, too.
ﾊﾟﾝﾁﾊﾟｰﾏでも可ｱﾙ｡ できるだけ 時間かかるやつね｡
One that takes a really long time.
なに 『ｺﾞﾙｺﾞ １７』 完全読破しようとしてんの？
Why are you trying to read all of Golgo 17?
[Note: Spoof of Golgo 13]
帰れﾊﾞｶ｡ ここは漫喫じゃねえんだよ！
Get lost, moron.
This isn't a manga cafe!
What?
(神楽)え～ まだ 神竜編の途中ｱﾙ｡
I'm in the middle of the episode "Shen Long".
[Note: Dragon god from DRAGON BALL.]
学園の覇権をかけて ｺﾞﾙｺﾞが依頼を受けて神竜と戦うね｡
Golgo has accepted an offer to fight Shen Long for control of the school!
Ah, it's fine.
あぁ いいんだ｡ いいんだ｡ 好きなだけ読んでけ｡
Read as long as you want.
ﾏｼﾞでか？ 『ｺﾞﾙｺﾞ １７』は いいﾏﾝｶﾞだよ｡
For real?
Golgo 17 is a wonderful manga.
頭よくなるよ 総理にもなれるよ 口は曲がるけどね｡
You'll become smarter.
You'll become the prime minister.
[Note: The current Prime Minister of Japan, Taro Aso, is known for being big manga fan.]
But your mouth will become crooked.
Can I read Abu-san, too?
それと 『あぶさん』も読んでいい？ いいよ いいよ｡
Go ahead.
つうか 神楽ちゃん 渋すぎだよね ﾏﾝｶﾞの趣味｡
Ah, Kagura-chan, you've got some beefy taste in manga.
『あぶさん』もいいﾏﾝｶﾞだよな｡ まさか あぶ取るだけで➡
Abu-san's another good manga.
Who would have thought that they could go thirty years just by catching abu.
[Note: Abu is horsefly in Japanese. "Abu-san" manga is really about a baseball player. This manga has been serialized in Big Comic Original since 1973.]
30年以上 連載が 続くとは思わなかったけど｡
もう あぶさん還暦だよ｡
He's already passed his sixtieth birthday.
いや どんなﾏﾝｶﾞか 想像つかないんだけど｡
I can't even imagine what that manga's about.
Well, I don't get any customers anyway.
ま どうせ 客なんて来ねえんだ｡
いつでも読みに来いよ｡ え？
Feel free to come read whenever you like.
親父さん 羽振り悪いんですか？
Business is bad, Pops?
向かいに 新しい美容院 最近じゃ ﾍｱｻﾛﾝっていうのかい？
A new beauty parlor...
I guess they call them hair salons now?
ｶｯﾄｽﾀｼﾞｵってのかい？ が できてな｡
Or is it hair cut studios?
...was built across the street.
それから 客足が ぱったり途絶えちまってよ｡
Ever since, my customers stopped coming.
ｶﾘｽﾏ美容師だか ｼｻﾞｰﾊﾝｽﾞだか知らねえけど➡
I don't know if they've got some charismatic hairdresser or a guy with scissor hands,
商売あがったりよ｡
but their business is through the roof.
They charge outrageous prices while providing half-assed service for their customers.
高い金 ふんだくってﾁｬﾗﾁｬﾗ… 薄っぺらい接客しやがってよ｡
A barbershop isn't just for cutting hair.
髪結床ってのはな 髪 結うだけの場所じゃねえんだ｡
人と人とのなかを結う みんなの社交場だったんだよ｡
It's a place for people to interact with one another.
In the old days, you could go to a barbershop and learn everything about the town.
昔は 床屋に行けば 町のことは だいたいわかるってな｡
みんな 集まって ﾜｲﾜｲ 賑やかにやってたもんだよ｡
People would gather to have fun.
I cared more about that aspect than being fashionable or whatnot.
ｵﾚは ｵｼｬﾚだなんだのより そっちを大事にしたくてね｡
髪は切っても 人の縁は 切らねえってな｡
You can cut through hair, but you can never cut through the bonds between human beings.
Here, the complete collection of Abu-san.
そら 『あぶさん』の全巻だ｡ ありがとうね ﾏｽﾀｰ｡
Thanks, Master.
そんなやり方してたら ｵﾒｴらみてえな➡
And in the end, curious fellas like you guys were the only ones that still came around.
物好きしか 来なくなってた｡
Yeah, the world's become a hard place to live in.
いやはや 生きずれえ 世の中になったもんだ｡
親父さん…｡ いやもう そういうのいいから➡
Pops...
Uh, enough of that crap already.
早く 散髪してくんない｡
Could you cut my hair already?
Don't worry.
大丈夫です｡ ﾎﾞｸらは 散髪に来てるだけじゃないですよ｡
We don't come here for the sole purpose of getting our hair cut.
親父さんにも 会いに来てるんです｡
We also come to see you, Pops.
Ooh, you sure know how to make this old man happy.
おう 嬉しいこと言ってくれるね｡
そうそう｡ でも 散髪にも来てるわけだから➡
Right, right.
But we're also here to get our hair cut, so cut my hair.
散髪もしようぜ｡ 人との繋がりも大事だよ｡ でも｡
Human interaction is important.
But...
Master, volume 7 of Abu-san is missing.
(神楽)ﾏｽﾀｰ これ 『あぶさん』７巻だけないよ｡
なにっ？ あれでしょ 床屋なわけだから➡
What?!
You know, this is a barbershop, so you should cut my hair.
やっぱり 散髪もしないと｡ ﾎﾝﾄだ 『あぶさん』７巻だけねえ｡
You're right.
Abu-san volume 7 is missing!
いったい どういうことだ！ (神楽)どこにも見当たらないよ｡
What is going on here?!
I don't see it anywhere.
ﾊﾞ ﾊﾞｶな… なぜ７巻だけ…｡
I-Impossible...
Why volume 7...
いや 『あぶさん』は もういいから 散髪を…｡
Yeah, can you stop talking about Abu-san and cut my hair?
よし じゃあ ひとっ走り行って ７巻 買ってくるから➡
Then I'll go run and buy volume 7!
店番 頼むぞ！ (新八/神楽)ﾗｼﾞｬｰ!!
Look after the store for me!
Roger!
散髪をしろ!!
Cut my hair!
"A conversation with a barber, during a haircut, is the most pointless thing in the world"
親父は？
Where's Pops?
He went to buy volume 7 of Abu-san so he should be back soon.
すぐ 『あぶさん』の ７巻 買って帰ってくるから➡
店番しててくれって｡
He told us to look after the store for him.
うお～っ 『あぶさん』!!
Abu-san!
There probably won't be any customers, so we should be fine.
お客さんは たぶん来ないから 大丈夫らしいです｡
なんで 床屋が 客 ほったらかして➡
Why would a barber ditch his customer to go buy Abu-san?
『あぶさん』 買いに行くことになるわけ？
なんで 散髪しに来たｵﾚが こんな目に合うわけ!!
Why do I have to put up with this when I came here to get a haircut?
Wow, the place across the street is so popular.
うわっ ﾎﾝﾄに お向かいさん すごい人気｡
なんとか ならないですかね｡
I wonder if there's anything we can do.
At this rate, this shop will really go out of business.
これじゃ このお店 ﾎﾝﾄに潰れちゃいますよ｡
そりゃ 潰れるだろ!! あんなもん 床屋でも➡
Well, yeah!
That guy doesn't give a damn about being a barber or human interaction or anything!
人との繋がり大切にする人でも なんでもないからね!!
ただの 『あぶさん』 大切にする人だからね!!
He only cares about Abu-san!
あれ？ あの後ろ姿って…｡
Huh?
From the back, that looks like...
あっ 近藤さんだ｡
It's Kondo-san.
I wonder what he's doing over there.
何やってるんだろう｡ あんな所で｡
He's walking back and forth in front of the salon.
(神楽)美容院の前 さっきから ｳﾛｳﾛしてるｱﾙ｡
何やってんだ？ あのｺﾞﾘﾗ｡
What's that gorilla doing?
Don't tell me he wants to get a makeover.
おい まさか ｲﾒﾁｪﾝしにきたのか？
He wants to shed his gorilla skin and become a higher-evolved gorilla?
ｺﾞﾘﾗの皮脱ぎ捨ててﾜﾝﾗﾝｸ上のｺﾞﾘﾗに なろうとしてんの？
(神楽)あっ 入るｱﾙ｡ あれ 戻ってきた｡
Oh, he's going in.
Huh? He turned back.
あっ 入るｱﾙ｡ あれ やっぱ入んない｡
Oh, he's going in.
Huh? He's not going in.
(近藤)あれ？ この店じゃないかなぁ｡
Huh? Is this the right place?
Did I make a mistake...
間違ったかなぁ｡
Hey, look at him.
おい あれ完全にﾋﾞﾋﾞｯてるぞ｡
He's scared stiff.
ｲﾒﾁｪﾝしにきたんだけど➡
He came to get a makeover, but the salon's so fancy that he's scared to go in.
ｵｼｬﾚすぎて 美容院に入れないんだよ あのﾊﾞｶ｡
Moron.
That's more sad than pathetic...
情けないを通り越して 切ないんですけど｡
応援したくなるんですけど｡
I feel like rooting for him.
あっ 店の人出てきた！
Oh, an employee came out.
何か ご用ですか？
Do you need something?
Ah! Excuse me!
あの すみません！
I-I heard that a n-new barbershop was built around here!
この辺に なんか新しい髪結床が できたってきき… 聞いて➡
ﾎﾝﾄﾄﾄ… それ知りたくて｡ どこにあるんですかね｡
So, I wanted to f-find it!
D-Do you know where it is?
新しい髪結床どこ ﾎﾝﾄ 今…｡
I-I happen to be d-desperately looking for a new b-barbershop!
You know it's the place.
(神楽)わかってるくせに さっさと入れよ｡
Just go in already.
回りくどいんだよ｡
Just get to the point.
新しいかどうか知らないけど 髪結床なら向かいにありますよ｡
I don't know if it's new or not, but there's a barbershop across the street.
He was denied!
拒否られたよ！ さり気に入店拒否されて➡
He was casually denied access and directed to a different shop!
別の店 すすめられたよ！
ｺﾞﾘﾗ ﾃﾞｨｽられてる｡ ﾃﾞｨｽられてるｺﾞﾘﾗ ﾃﾞｨｽｺﾞﾘﾗね｡
The gorilla was just dissed.
You were just dissed, gorilla.
Dissed gorilla.
あれ？ えぇっと あぁそうか｡
Huh?
Uh...
Is that right?
あっちなんだ｡ ｱﾊﾊﾊ…｡
The one over there.
He's tearing up!
涙目だよ！ あぁ ちょっと見てられない｡
It hurts to watch him!
やめて やめて！
Stop! Stop!
But it looks like people are getting their hair cut here, so maybe I should try this one.
でも こことかも なんか髪とか 切ったりしてる感じなのかなぁ➡
ひょっとして｡ こっちにしちゃおっかなぁ｡
Actually, this one looks better...
つ～か こっちがいいなぁなんて｡
Ah, sorry, but we're a factory that makes brushes out of hair.
あぁ 悪いんですけど➡
ｳﾁは髪の毛から 筆を作る工場なんで｡
Now he's being lied to!
ｳｿつかれてるよ！
Being denied with a blatant lie!
丸出しのｳｿつかれて 拒否されてるよ！
Seriously, they really don't want him inside!
つ～か どんだけｲﾔなんだよ！ あぁ筆…｡
Oh, brushes...
あぁ そうなんだ｡
So that's it.
But yeah, I wouldn't mind my hair being used for brushes...
あぁ でも あれなんですけど｡
全然 ｵﾚの毛も 筆にしてもらっても構わない…｡
Sorry, I forgot to tell you.
すんません 忘れてました～｡
Yesterday, we turned into a place that's researching
昨日からｳﾁ 髪の毛のﾀﾝﾊﾟｸ質を利用して➡
how to use the protein in hair to make meat and soy sauce.
肉とか しょう油とか作る 研究をするとこに変わって～｡
あぁ ﾀﾝﾊﾟｸ質… あぁ肉｡
Ah, protein...?
Ah, meat...
あぁ それだったら ｵﾚの髪の毛使ってもらっても！
In that case, you can use my hair!
ほら 栄養満点！
See? Nice and healthy!
It's so hard it gives me trouble!
もう困るくらいの剛毛で｡ すごいんで！
Ah, sorry.
あ～ すみません｡
And yeah, can I just give it to you straight?
つ～か ぶっちゃけ言ってもいいっすか？
え？
You're scaring the other customers,
他のお客様が怖がられてるんで➡
so could you stop hanging around here?
あんまりｳﾛｳﾛするの やめてもらえます？
えぇ!?
I really don't want to say this,
自分が言うのも何すけど➡
but stalking is despicable.
ﾏｼﾞ ｽﾄｰｶｰ行為とか 最悪だと思うんですけど｡
No! No! No! No!
(近藤)ｲﾔｲﾔｲﾔ…！ えぇ～!?
What?!
いや ちょっと！ ﾌﾝｯ！
No, hold on!
Huh?!
えぇ～!? 待ってください！
Please wait!
Usually, it's...
いつもは あれですけど 今回は あの～｡
But this time...
I'm going to call the cops.
警察呼びますよ？ えっ いや 警察っつ～か➡
Huh? Wait...
The cops...?
ｵﾚ 警察…｡
I'm a cop...
Hey, give it up already, old-timer.
おい いいかげんにしろよ おっさん 帰れ！
Get lost!
ﾏｼﾞ 潰すぞ｡
I'll crush you for real.
(ざわめき)
(みんな)帰れ 帰れ 帰れ…！
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
Huh?
あれ… なんか涙出てきたんですけど｡
Am I crying?
何 この気分｡
What is this feeling?
It's really uncomfortable.
すごいｲﾔな気分なんだけど 何これ｡
What is this?
What are we supposed to do?
どうしたらいいの？ 何をしたらいいの？ ねぇ｡
What should we do?
Hey?
This is terrible!
ひどいでしょ これ！
You have to feel bad for him this time!
今回ばかりは かわいそすぎるでしょ これ！
I'm gonna go beat the crap out of those people!
私 一発しばいてくるね ｱｲﾂら！
あぁ ﾀﾞﾒﾀﾞﾒ｡ (２人)えっ？
No, that won't do.
Huh?
いいか 男はな 見栄張って なんぼの生き物なんだよ｡
Listen up.
Men are stupid creatures who have a need to put on airs.
If we go help him out of this ugly situation,
こんなかっこ悪いところを ｵﾚたちに助けられたら➡
ｺﾞﾘﾗの立つ瀬が いよいよ なくなるだろ｡
the gorilla will lose face, right?
We'll pretend that we didn't see anything.
今回は 何も見てなかったことにしよう｡
We didn't see anything today.
ｵﾚたちは今日何も見ていない｡ いいな？
Got it?
つ～か 銀さん｡
Uh, Gin-san.
Kondo-san's coming over here...
近藤さん もう こっちに来てるんですけど！
What? He's coming?
えっ 来んの!?
Hold on!
ちょっと待って 気まずいんだけど！
This is going to be awkward!
I have no idea how to deal with him!
どんな感じで接すればいいか わかんないんだけど｡
We can't just make fun of him like usual!
さすがに今回は 憎まれ口 叩けないよ｡
I don't want to finish him off when he's on the verge of death!
ｵﾚ あの瀕死のところに 鉄槌は下ろせねえよ｡
What do I do?!
どうするの？ どうすればいいの～!?
What should I do?!
すみません｡
Excuse me.
I don't have an appointment...
予約してないんですけど 大丈夫ですか？
Is that okay?
Oh, a customer?
あぁ お客さん？
♪♪～
すみません 予約してないんですけど➡
Excuse me.
I don't have an appointment...
大丈夫ですか？ あぁ お客さん｡
Is that okay?
Oh, a customer?
ごめんね 今日ちょっと 予約で埋まっちゃってて｡
Sorry, we're booked for the day.
また 明日来てもらえます？
Could you come back tomorrow?
あ… そうですか こんな汚い店でもﾀﾞﾒなんだ｡
Oh, really...
Even a dirty place like this won't even take me.
I'm like a gravely ill patient being tossed from hospital to hospital like a hot potato.
美容院ならぬ病院を たらい回しにされる➡
重症の患者のようだな｡
いや もう もしかしたら➡
Wait, maybe I'm already dead and I just haven't realized it yet...
ｵﾚは自分でも気づかぬうちに 死んでいるのかも｡
Ah! Wait! Wait!
ちょっと待って！ ちょっと待って!!
We were just on the phone and everyone's canceled!
何か 今電話きて 予約 全部ｷｬﾝｾﾙらしいっす｡
You're so lucky, Mister!
ﾗｯｷｰだね お客さん 入って 入って｡
Come in! Come in!
え？ いいんですか？ いいんです いいんです｡
Oh? It's okay?
Of course! Of course!
さぁ さぁ こっちに座るｱﾙ｡
Come on! Sit down over here!
What are you guys doing?!
何をしてんだ ﾃﾒｴら！
It's impossible!
ﾑﾘです ﾎﾞｸにはﾑﾘです 断れません｡
I can't do it!
I can't turn him away!
What do you mean, you can't turn him away?!
断れないって ﾃﾒｴら 散髪なんか できんのかよ｡
Do you either of you know how to cut someone's hair?
銀ちゃんなら器用だから きっと できるね｡
You're good with your hands, Gin-chan, so you should be able to do it.
勝手なﾏﾈして結局 人任せか ｺﾗ!!
You bring him in by yourself and make me do the hard work?!
We have to do something for him!
ﾎﾞｸらの手で 何とかしてあげましょうよ！
かわいそうです このまま帰したら いくら何でも｡
I feel so bad for him.
We can't turn him away like this!
It'll work out somehow!
何とかなるね みんなで協力すれば きっと できるｱﾙ｡
We can do this if we work together!
そうですよ 夢は叶う｡
That's right!
Dreams can come true!
Why are you trying to sound like that "time does not betray dreams" stuff?!
[Note: This is a phrase by Leiji Matsumoto. He has sued Noriyuki Makihara for using this phrase in a song.]
何 時間は夢を 裏切らない的なことを言ってんだ｡
Uh...
あの…｡
Oh, sorry!
あぁ すみません お待たせしました｡
Thank you for waiting.
My hair is in your hands.
よ よろしくお願いします｡ えっと…➡
Let's see...
How short do you want it today?
今日は いったい どういう感じの刈り上げで？
いや どういう刈り上げって➡
Uh, how short do I want it?
何で最初から 刈り上げ限定なんですか？
Why are you assuming that I want it short?!
いや 違いますよ 刈り上げしかできないとか➡
No, you've got it wrong.
I'm not saying that I can only do short haircuts or anything.
そういうんじゃないんですよ お客さんが➡
You just had a look on your face like you wanted it short.
刈り上げられたそうな 顔してたんで｡
いや 刈り上げられたくないです｡
No, I don't want it short.
あの 今日はちょっと ｶﾞﾗﾘとｲﾒﾁｪﾝをしたくて｡
Uh, I'm looking for a complete makeover today.
I see. A makeover.
あぁ そうですか ｲﾒﾁｪﾝ｡
It feels like everybody around me is good-looking,
何か ｵﾚの周りって かっこいいﾔﾂらばっかりで➡
いつも ｿｲﾂらばっかり ｷｬｰｷｬｰ言われてて➡
and they've always got girls screaming over them.
一方 ｵﾚは好きな女性にも 全然 相手にされないし➡
Meanwhile, I can't even get the girl I like to talk to me.
ｸﾞｯｽﾞとかも全然 出ないんですよ｡
I never get any gifts either
何か もうｲﾔになっちゃって➡
I just couldn't stand it anymore,
so I wanted to try starting over from scratch...
１回ﾘｾｯﾄしようかなって｡
Break down the man known as Isao Kondo until he's completely unrecognizable
近藤勲という存在を➡
いったん 原形が 残らないくらいまで破壊して➡
and be reborn as a totally new Isao Kondo.
まったく新しい 近藤勲に生まれ変わりたいんです｡
Understood!
わかりました いったん破壊します｡
I'll break you down!
違う違う…！ 比喩です｡
No! No! No!
It was just a metaphor.
破壊っていうのは 要するに このもっさいｲﾒｰｼﾞを➡
When I said break down, I meant to wash away this untrendy image.
払拭するということであって そこからね 全然 違うｷｬﾗ➡
And then, I want to become a completely different character. Like I'm somebody else!
別ｷｬﾗみたいになりたいって 言ってんですよ｡
Like you're somebody else...
別ｷｬﾗ はいはい わかりました じゃあ➡
Okay, okay. I got it.
[Note: Street Fighter II the video game.]
Then in SF2 terms,
ｽﾄ２で言うと ﾌﾞﾗﾝｶから ｻﾝｷﾞｴﾌくらいに変わる感じで｡
it'd be like changing from Blanka to Zangief.
いや 全然 変わってないじゃないですか｡
No! That's barely any change!
You're going from one character nobody uses to another character nobody uses!
使われないｷｬﾗから 使われないｷｬﾗじゃないですか｡
In SF2 terms,
ｽﾄ２で言うと ｴﾄﾞﾓﾝﾄﾞ本田から ｶﾞｲﾙくらいの感じです｡
it'd be like changing from E. Honda to Guile.
Ah, so you want something like changing your nationality.
あぁ 国籍変わるくらいの 感じですか｡
Yeah! Something big!
(近藤)そう そうですね！ わかりました｡
Got it.
This will be a pretty big job,
じゃあ かなり大がかりな 仕事になりそうなんで➡
so for today, I'll just shave your face and shorten your hair
今日のところは とりあえず 顔の毛剃って➡
刈り上げて いったん 家に お帰りいただくんで➡
before you go home for the day and come back tomorrow.
明日 また来てください｡ 何でだ～！
Why?!
Why do I have to get my hair shortened and then go home?!
何で いったん刈り上げられて 帰されなきゃいけねえんだ！
There won't be anything left to do tomorrow!
もう 明日やることねえだろ！ 刈り上げられてるだろ!!
You're just shortening my hair!
I already said that I don't need it shortened!
刈り上げは いいって 言ってんでしょ｡
１回 忘れてくださいよ もう それは！
Just forget about that already.
いや だってｶﾞｲﾙがいいって 言ったじゃないすか｡
But you said you wanted Guile.
ｶﾞｲﾙ 刈り上げてるじゃないですか｡
Guile has close-cropped hair.
別にｶﾞｲﾙになりてえ訳じゃねえよ！
I didn't mean that I wanted to look like Guile!
つうか お前がｽﾄ２に例えろって 言い出したんだろうが｡
And weren't you the one who started using SF2 examples?!
あの 何か具体的に こんなふうになりたいとか➡
Uh...
It would help if you could tell us how you want to look or give us a model or example of some sort.
ﾓﾃﾞﾙがあると助かるんですけど｡
雑誌の切り抜きとか ないんですか？
Do you have a picture from a magazine or something?
Yeah, I do.
あぁ あるある｡ じゃあ それ見せてくださいよ｡
Ah, then please show us.
こういう感じなんですけど｡ いや できるわけねえだろ！
Something like this.
No! That's physically impossible!
The length of your hair is totally different!
髪の長さが全然 違うでしょうが！
No, it's not just the hair...
いや 髪っていうか こういう 華のある感じの男になりたい｡
I want to become a man that oozes beauty.
いや ここ床屋なんですけど｡
Uh, this is a barbershop.
ｺﾞﾂｺﾞﾂしてない こういう➡
I want to become a man that's soft and supple instead of ragged.
やわらかい雰囲気の男になりたい｡
You should go to Shocker headquarters instead of a barbershop.
[Note: Shocker is an evil organization from Kamen Rider.]
床屋じゃなくて ｼｮｯｶｰの本部に行ってください｡
まぁ まぁ わかりました｡
Okay, I understand.
I'll do what I can to match this.
だいたいは できるだけ ｺﾚに近づけますから｡
We'll start by coming up with a plan.
とりあえず ﾌﾟﾗﾝを練らせてください｡
We'll shave your face in the meantime.
その間 顔の毛 剃りますんで｡
Ah, yes. Please do.
あ はい お願いします｡ ちょっと どうしましょう｡
Hey, what do we do about this, Gin-san?
銀さん これ 骨格から入れ替えないとﾑﾘですよ｡
We'd have to change his entire physique.
Well, he seems to want to change his image rather than get a haircut.
とりあえず 髪切るっつうよりは 雰囲気 変えたいみてえだから➡
So we'll have to change his hairstyle to change his image.
髪のｾｯﾄの仕方を変えて 印象を変えるしかねえな｡
(桂)お尋ね申す｡
Excuse me.
(桂)つかぬことを伺うが➡
This may sound awkward, but I heard that I could find a charismatic hairdresser of rare caliber here...
ここに ｶﾘｽﾏ美容師なる➡
稀代の髪結いがいると聞いて 参ったのだが…｡
なぁ～っ!!
Th-This is terrible!
《さ… 最悪だ～！
The most violent pair of rivals just ran into each other!
最強の天敵どうしが 鉢合わせしちまった～!!》
んっ？ うぐっ!! 顔 蒸します～!!
I'll steam your face!
ちょっと熱いけど 我慢してくださいね～！
It's a little hot, so bear with me!
え～っと 何でしたっけ？ ご用件は…｡
Uh...
What did you want again?
Well, you see. I want to get a makeover.
いや だから ｲﾒﾁｪﾝが したくてな｡
ｶﾘｽﾏ美容師に 散髪をと 参ったしだいだ｡
So I need a charismatic hairdresser to cut my hair.
As usual, what is this guy doing?!
《相変わらず ｺｲﾂ なに やってんだよ！
But that's a relief. He hasn't noticed.
でも よかった… 気づいてないみたい｡
面倒くさいことになる前に さっさと追い出そう！》
I need to chase him out of here before things get ugly!
ｶﾘｽﾏなら 向かいの店のほうです！
You can find charismatic hairdressers across the street!
Wow!
早く出ていけ ﾊﾞｶ野郎！ 仕事中なんだよ！
Get lost, moron!
Hey! Hey!
We're working here!
Cut that out!
角刈りに されてえのか この野郎！
Want me to give you a buzz-cut?
Shoo. Shoo.
ｼｯｼｯ！ 消えろ ｶｽ！
Get lost, scumface!
ﾌｯﾌｯﾌｯﾌｯ｡
ｵﾚを 欺けるとでも思ったか？
Did you think you could fool me?
必死に 隠していたようだが ｵﾚの目は ごまかせんぞ！
Your desperate efforts cannot deceive my eyes.
《まさか… 気づいて…!?》
Did he notice...?!
貴殿は… ｶﾘｽﾏ美容師だな!?
You are
the charismatic hairdresser!
いや… 違いますけど｡
No, I'm not...
違くない！ 目を見れば わかる！
You are.
I can tell by looking in your eyes.
一芸を極めたる者 是 万事を修めることに同じ！
The eyes of one who has mastered a craft by dedicating his all...
The eyes of a samurai who has seen many battles...
まるで 百戦錬磨の侍のような目を している｡
いや 侍ですから…｡
Yeah, that's cause I'm a samurai.
Here we are, meeting for the first time, yet I feel as if I've known you for a hundred years.
初見なのに まるで 百年の知己のように➡
懐かしさを 覚える｡
Yeah, we know each other.
いや… 思いっきり 知り合いですから｡
散髪 お願いできますか？
Could you cut my hair?
It's a pain to shampoo when it's this long.
もう ｼｬﾝﾌﾟｰするとき 面倒くさくて 長髪って…｡
あ～っ！ ちょっと 勝手に入らないでください！
Ah! Please don't go in without permission!
ぶはっ！ 苦しい!!
It hurts!
Hey! What are you doing?!
ちょっと～ なに するんですか!? 息 できないでしょうが～!!
I can't breathe!
んっ？ ぶはっ!!
Ah, don't be in such a rush.
あ～ そんなに慌てないでも ちゃんと 頭 洗ってあげますから｡
We'll wash your head for you.
えっ？ ちょっと… 大丈夫なんですか？ あれ！
Huh? Is he okay over there?
頭 洗ってるっていうか➡
That looks more like torture than washing his hair.
拷問されてるみたいに なってるんですけど！
Okay.
はいはい！ よそ見しないでくださいね～！
Don't turn your head.
ﾋｹﾞ剃るから 危ないですよ～！
I'll be shaving your face, so that's dangerous.
ぶは～っ！
M-Mr. Charismatic Hairdresser!
ｶ… ｶﾘｽﾏ殿！ さすが ｶﾘｽﾏともなると➡
I can see that everything done by a charismatic hairdresser is different,
ｼｬﾝﾌﾟｰ一つ とっても やり方が違うんですね！
down to the application of shampoo!
えぇ 皆さん そう おっしゃいますよ｡
Yes. That's what they all say.
激しすぎて 毛根から 火が出そうです｡
It's so intense that it feels like my hair roots are on fire!
目に ｼｬﾝﾌﾟｰが入って 痛くて 開けられません！
I can't open my eyes because they're stinging from the shampoo!
You don't need to open them!
開けなくて いいですよ!!
では しばらく このまま 髪に ｼｬﾝﾌﾟｰを浸透させるんで➡
Then we'll allow the shampoo to permeate your hair for a while.
目を つむったまま ｼﾞｯと しててくださ～い！
Just sit still with your eyes closed.
えっ!? このままなんですか!?
Huh? Like this?
What's the effect of letting the shampoo permeate my hair?
髪に ｼｬﾝﾌﾟｰを浸透って…➡
いったい どんな効果が あるんですか？
It prevents any stupid movements.
ﾊﾞｶの動きを 封じます｡ えっ!?
What?! It can do that?!
そんなことが できるんですか!?
ふぅ～｡ 危なかったｱﾙ｡
That was close.
They almost made contact.
あやうく 接触するところだったよ…｡
What are we going to do, Gin-san?
どうすんですか？ 銀さん！ まさか この２人を同時に…!?
Don't tell me that we have to handle them both?
このまま 帰るぞ｡ (新八/神楽)えぇ～っ!?
We're going to leave now.
Huh?!
考えてもみろ｡ ｵﾚたちが ﾔﾂらのために➡
Just think about it.
There is no reason for us to work so hard for them.
ここまでしてやる道理が どこに ある！
If we stay, we'll only get dragged into more trouble.
このまま関わっても 間違いなく 面倒に巻き込まれるだけだ｡
いや でも ｵﾔｼﾞさんから 店番 任されてんのに…｡
No, but...
Pops told us to look after the place for him...
ｵﾔｼﾞなら もうすぐ 『あぶさん』 持って 戻ってくるだろう！
He'll be back with his "Abu-san" soon enough.
あとは うまいこと やる…｡
He can handle the rest...
Oh, are you there?
(松平)お～い いるか～？ 遅くなっちまったな～！
Sorry I'm late.
『あぶさん』７巻 返しに来たぞ｡
I came to return volume 7 of Abu-san.
あり？ いねえの？
Huh? He's not here?
あっ！ あれは…！
That's...
Katakuriko, what is this place?
(将軍)片栗虎 ここは何だ？
Hmm? The barbershop I frequent.
んっ？ 床屋だ｡ ｵﾚの行きつけの…｡
ｵﾚのﾀﾞﾁに 会わせてやろうと 思ったんだが 留守らしいわ｡
I was going to introduce you to my buddy, but he doesn't seem to be here.
しかたねえ｡
Heh, oh well.
ｷｬﾊﾞにでも 繰り出すか…｡
Let's just go hit a hostess bar.
(将軍)髷を… 結ってくれるのか？
Would he do my hair in a Mage...?
どんな髷を…➡
What kind of Mage would he do...?
結ってくれるのだ？
Th-That's...
あ… あれは…！
That's...
あ… あれは～！
♪♪～
おもしろそうだ｡
Fascinating.
結ってくれぬか？ 余の髷も｡
Will you do my hair in a Mage?
(２人)しょ… 将軍かよ～!!
Th-The Shogun?!
[To Be Continued]
[Preview]
I-It's impossible, big man!
I can't touch the Shogun's Mage!
Impossible!
Absolutely impossible!
You handle the rest!
Wait!
It's impossible for me, too!
The next episode...
"The heavens created Chonmage above man instead of another man."
[Note: A phrase by Yukichi Fukuzawa "Heaven doesn't make a man better than others, nor does it make a man worse than others." = all men are created equal.]
[The Great Shogun Shigeshige Tokugawa came to the barbershop!]
[He's a General, but his you-know-what's a Private.]
[See you next time!]