♪♪～
[You never thought the day would come...]
[Live-Action GinTama!]
[Up next!!]
Man...
(銀時)いやぁ なんだかんだ ４年目に入ってさ➡
After making it to our fourth year,
I've gotten to the point where I want to throw up every week in April, y'know?
４月はもう 毎週 ｹﾞﾛ吐きそうな 気分だったけどさ➡
[Note: One cours refers to three months of scheduling. In practice, 13 episodes.]
Next thing I know, one cours is up and done.
気がつけば １ｸｰﾙ 終わってたのな｡
We managed to continue on despite all the pain and suffering.
(神楽) 苦しみ もがいているうちに➡
いつの間にか 道は進んでるｱﾙ｡
We had to walk home from the station while holding in a big one,
駅から 家まで ｳﾝｺ ｶﾞﾏﾝして 泣きそうだったけど➡
but we somehow managed to make it out of the shopping district.
なんとか 商店街は 抜けた感じｱﾙ｡
But y'know...
でもなぁ その商店街から 先が なげえんだよな｡
It's a long ways getting home from the shopping district.
I wanted to give up when we passed by the park.
公園の前あたりで ｶﾞﾏﾝできなくなって➡
もう 公衆便所で 済ませちゃおっかな➡
The whole "Just use a public bathroom" idea started to sound pretty tempting.
っていう 誘惑があるんだよ｡
Oh, not that there's anything wrong with using a public bathroom.
いや いいんだよ 公衆便所に逃げても｡
But it's all about overcoming the temptation and reaching the washlet bathroom at home.
でもさ そこ乗り越えて➡
我が家のｼｬﾜｰﾄｲﾚに たどり着けるわけじゃん｡
Right, Shinpachi?
なぁ？ 新八｡
Huh?
(新八)え？ 銀さん!? 銀さんですよね!?
Gin-san? Is that Gin-san?
そうだよ 銀さんだよ｡
That's right.
It's Gin-san.
いや つうか 何ですか？ これ!?
Uh, what is this?
え？ 何ですかこれって 『銀魂』よ｡
What do you mean?
This is GinTama.
いつもの時間の いつものﾁｬﾝﾈﾙ➡
Same GinTama time. Same GinTama channel. The same old GinTama.
いつもの 『銀魂』ｱﾙ！
Uh, doesn't this seem a little different?
いや なんか いつもと違いませんか？ これ｡
Oh, is this live-action?!
っていうか 実写ですよね!? これ｡
When did GinTama turn into a live-action show?!
いつの間に 『銀魂』 実写化してたんですか!?
って ﾏﾈｷﾝかよ！
What?! They're mannequins?!
Ah, I thought someone told you.
あっ 言ってなかったっけ？
We're going to become an anime that transcends anime.
ｵﾚたちは ｱﾆﾒを超えた ｱﾆﾒになる｡
Starting this week, we'll be showing "Live-action GinTama Revolution:
今週から ｢実写版 『銀魂』ﾚﾎﾞﾘｭｰｼｮﾝ 愛は ﾊﾘｳｯﾄﾞを救う｣を➡
Love will save Hollywood."
[Note: Parody of the movie "Dragon Ball Evolution."]
お送りします｡ 救わねえよ！
We are not!
This will leave Shueisha in Titanic status!
[Note: Parody of the movie "Titanic."]
これじゃ 見事に 集英社もろとも ﾀｲﾀﾆｯｸ状態だよ！
30分 ﾏﾈｷﾝにしゃべらせて➡
A surreal world anime with thirty minutes of talking mannequins.
ｼｭｰﾙなｱﾆﾒの世界を送り届けるね｡
『ｵｰ 銀ﾀﾏｲｷｰ』ね！
"Oh! Gintamikey."
[Note: Parody of mannequin comedy show "Oh Mikey!" aka "The Fuccons."]
No, this can't be considered anime anymore.
いや だから これもう ｱﾆﾒじゃないからね｡
These are just still-frame photos!
ただの ｽﾁｰﾙ写真だからね！ これ｡
Well, this is basically what happened.
まぁ ようするに あれだ｡
いろいろ 迂回ﾙｰﾄ やってきたけど➡
We tried a number of different detours and then someone said
あっ そうそう まだ 実写版やってなかったっけ｡
"Ah, that's right. We haven't tried doing live-action yet."
So we're doing this on the whim of the staff.
って ｽﾀｯﾌの思いつきで やっちゃってるだけなわけよ｡
Got it, Shinpachi?
わかったか？ 新八｡ ﾏｼﾞでか!?
Seriously?
てっきり ﾊﾞｯｸには ﾄｳｪﾝﾃｨｰ ｾﾝﾁｭﾘｰ ﾎﾞｯｸｽが➡
I was expecting 20th Century Box to show up behind us.
[Note: Parody of 20th Century Fox.]
ついてると思ってたｱﾙ｡ なぁ？ 新八｡
Right, Shinpachi?
いや だから なんで わざわざ 危ない橋 渡ろうとするの？
Geez, why do you purposely take these risks?
ﾏｼﾞで おっかないから！
It's pretty damn scary.
そう かたいこと言うな 新八｡
You're such a spoilsport, Shinpachi.
That's why you can never stop being Shinpachi.
だから お前は いつまで経っても 新八ｱﾙ｡
いい加減 学習しろ 新八｡
Learn your lesson already, Shinpachi.
Uh, what's that even supposed to mean?
いや 新八っていうか なんでﾎﾞｸ ﾒｶﾞﾈだけ!?
And why am I just a pair of glasses?!
Okay, it's starting to rain,
は～い 雨降ってきちゃったんで 室内に移動します｡
so we'll move indoors.
どんだけ 行き当たりばったりな撮影だよ｡
This show is pretty damn random.
We're going to visit Sunrise's fifth studio where they make the GinTama anime.
これから 『銀魂』のｱﾆﾒを 作っている➡
ｻﾝﾗｲｽﾞ 第５ｽﾀｼﾞｵに おじゃまするｱﾙね｡
おじゃまだ ﾗｲｾﾝｽ～｡
Excuse us, murder license.
[Note: Parody of manga "Murder License Kiba". Shueisha title serialized in Super Jump.]
Oh. This is where they make the GinTama anime.
おぉ！ ここで ｱﾆﾒ 『銀魂』が 作られているんですね！
Looks like a dirty place.
なんか 汚いところｱﾙな｡
This is what is known as the modern-day sweatshop.
これが 現代の蟹工船と 言われている…｡
言われてねえよ！ 人聞きの悪い！
No, it isn't!
Don't ruin their reputation!
What if everybody believes you?!
みんな 本気にしたら どうすんの！
There isn't much difference.
変わんねえよ｡ ここは現代の蟹工船よ｡
This is a modern-day sweatshop.
Cancer Beam!
[Note: Parody of GUNDAM W. anime created by Sunrise.]
ｷｬﾝｻｰﾋﾞｰﾑ！
There's no cancer or beam involved here.
ｷｬﾝｻｰでも ﾋﾞｰﾑでもねえよ！
The boss is going to be pissed at you!
ﾎﾝﾄに 社長に怒られますよ！
って 神楽ちゃん？ 何？ その頭の角は｡
Uh, Kagura-chan?
What's with the horns on your head?
ｱﾝﾃﾅね｡ 私 今日から 地ﾃﾞｼﾞ化推進ﾏｽｺｯﾄｷｬﾗｸﾀｰ➡
They're antennas.
Starting today, I'm the digital conversion mascot, Digi-Kagura.
[Note: Parody of Chidejika (Digital deer), Japan's official mascot to promote transition to Digital terrestrial television.]
地ﾃﾞｼﾞｶｸﾞﾗになったね｡
まるﾊﾟｸﾘじゃねえか！
That's a complete rip-off!
Okay. Then I'll pitch in.
よし！ それじゃ 銀さんも ひと肌脱いじゃうよ｡
脱ぐな～！ なんだよ この画ﾂﾞﾗ！
Don't take your clothes off!
What the hell is this scene?!
ﾃﾚﾋﾞで 放送していい ﾚﾍﾞﾙじゃないよ！
This is nowhere near acceptable for showing on TV!
Then we'll move on to today's main topic.
それでは 今日の本題いきます｡
All analog broadcasting will end in July of 2011 and switch to digital broadcasting.
After that, analog televisions without a digital tuner will be unable to receive a signal.
以上ｱﾙ｡
There you have it.
Huh?
え？ 終わり？
That's it?
っていうか これ ただの 地ﾃﾞｼﾞ告知だよね!?
This was just another digital TV ad, wasn't it?
ﾊｸｼｮﾝ！ こんちきしょう！
あぁ なんでこんな時期に 風邪ひかなきゃなんねえんだよ｡
Why do I have to catch a cold this time of year?
I'm completely out of sync with the rest of the world.
世の中の流れに逆らってるよ｡ もう完全に｡
どんだけｵﾚの体は 15の夜なんだよ｡
Is my body in 15 no Yoru or what?
[Note: "15 no Yoru" (Night at 15) is a Yutaka Ozaki song.]
盗んだﾊﾞｲｸで 走りだしちゃってんだよ｡
I feel like I'm racing along on a stolen motorcycle.
[Note: A lyric from "15 no Yoru"(Night at 15). A song about an unruly teenager"s life.]
Hello.
こんにちは｡ 大丈夫ですか 銀さん｡
Are you okay, Gin-san?
Honestly...
まったく｡ こんな時期に風邪ひく なんてどうしちゃったんですか？
How could you catch a cold this time of year?
知らねえよ｡
Hell if I know.
My body went off and picked up some hitchhiking germs from who knows where.
勝手にｵﾚの体が どこかで 病原菌という名のﾋｯﾁﾊｲｶｰを➡
拾ってきちゃっただけだよ｡ ほら ｵﾚの体 人に優しいし｡
Y'know?
Since my body's all kind and considerate.
Don't let that hitchhiking germ spread to me.
こっちに乗せかえないで くださいよ｡ そのﾋｯﾁﾊｲｶｰ｡
とにかく この時期の風邪は 厄介ですからね｡
In any case, a cold in this season can be a real pain.
ちゃんと養生しないと いつまでもよくならないですから｡
You have to take good care of yourself or you won't get better.
(神楽)銀ちゃん お粥できたｱﾙ｡
Gin-chan.
I made some rice porridge.
よっ｡
これ食べて早くよくなるｱﾙ｡
Eat this and get better soon.
No, he's going to be feeling a different kind of sick if he eats all that.
いや それ食べたら 違うとこ悪くなるよ｡
That isn't even a normal portion size.
尋常じゃないでしょう そのｻｲｽﾞ｡
しかたないｱﾙ｡ 私がちょっと手伝ってあげるよ｡
Guess I have no choice then.
I'll help out.
Are you sure you don't just want to eat it yourself?!
自分が食べたいだけじゃねえか！
なんかもう最悪だよ｡ ﾀﾞﾙくて すべてどうでもいいよ もう｡
This just sucks.
I feel so crappy that I don't even care anymore.
なに言ってるんですか 銀さん このくらいで｡
How can you say that after a little cold?
思い出してくださいよ｡
Think back.
That newtype influenza was much worse.
あの新型ｲﾝﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞのときのほうが 全然ひどかったじゃないですか｡
ｲﾝﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞ？
Influenza?
That's right.
そうです｡ あのときに比べたら こんな風邪かわいいもんでしょ｡
This cold is nothing compared to that.
そう あのときの…｡
Yes... Compared to that...
["If It Works Once, It'll Work Over and Over Again"]
[Winter]
The current outbreak of influenza in Edo
現在 江戸で大流行している ｲﾝﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞは➡
大西星から流れ込んだと思われる 新型のｳｲﾙｽとされておりまして➡
is believed to be a newtype virus from Planet Onishi.
[Note: Onishi was the first GinTama manga editor.]
より一層の猛威を振るうと 予想されます｡
We expect the outbreak to get extensively worse.
皆さんもどうぞ お気をつけください｡
Everyone please take care of yourselves.
姉上 入りますね｡ (お妙)ええ｡
Sis, I'm coming in.
Yes...
ｺﾎｯ ｺﾎｯ｡
It's starting to snow.
雪降ってきましたよ｡ こりゃ積もるかも｡
We'll probably have some accumulation.
Are you okay, Sis?
大丈夫ですか 姉上｡ 寒かったら言ってくださいね｡
Let me know if you're cold.
I made some rice porridge.
お粥作ってきました｡
Eat plenty so you get better soon.
たんと食べて よくなってくださいね｡ ｹﾎｯ ｹﾎｯ｡
Th-Thanks, Shin-chan.
ありがとう 新ちゃん｡
私 もう大丈夫だから お仕事行って｡
I'll be fine now,
so go to work.
Ah, it's fine.
あぁ 大丈夫です｡ さっき 連絡したら➡
I just called and he was like,
｢もう お前も 感染してるかもしんないから➡
"You're probably infected already so don't bother coming, you sicko."
来んな 病原菌｣って言われました｡
Honestly, that Gin-san...
もう 銀さんたら…｡
It's so terrible of him to call you a sicko.
新ちゃんを病原菌呼ばわり なんてひどいわ｡
きっと気をつかってくれたのね｡ 銀さんたち｡
They were probably trying to be considerate.
That's not possible.
んなわけないでしょ｡
There probably isn't any work.
どうせ 仕事なんてないんだし 今日は休みをもらいますよ｡
I'll take the day off.
I also let "Hostess Club Smile" know that you'd be taking the day off.
｢すまいる｣のほうにも今日は休む って言っておきましたから➡
今日は １日じゅう 看病してあげますからね｡
I can look after you the entire day.
But it would be terrible if you caught my cold.
でも 本当に 新ちゃんにも うつっちゃったら 大変だわ｡
大丈夫 大丈夫｡
Don't worry.
It's my turn to take care of you.
今度は 姉上に看病してもらいますから｡
何だか 新ちゃん嬉しそう｡
You look kind of happy.
えっ!? いや… あの… その…｡
Ah, uh... Sorry.
すみません｡ 違うんです あの…｡
That's not it.
ごめんなさい…｡
I'm sorry.
It's disrespectful to feel this way when you're suffering.
姉上が こんな時に不謹慎ですよね｡
でも あの…｡
It's just that, well, we haven't had a chance to be alone like this in a while.
最近 あんまり…➡
こんなふうに ２人で一緒にいられること➡
なかったから… す… すみません｡
I-I'm really sorry.
もう… 新ちゃんったら…｡
Honestly, you're so hopeless, Shin-chan.
Then I guess I'll depend on you today.
じゃあ… 今日だけは 新ちゃんに甘えちゃおうかしら？
わがまま聞いてくれる？
Will you listen to my whims?
あっ はい！ 何でも言ってください｡
Y-Yes!
You can ask for anything!
ﾎﾞｸ 何でも｡ あ… じゃあ ﾎﾞｸ 水 取り替えてきます！
I'll do it all.
Ah, then I'll go get some more water!
It's dangerous to run.
あっ 走ると危ないわよ｡
すぐ 戻ってくるので 待っててくださいね！
I'll be right back so sit tight.
(ﾁｬｲﾑ)
Yes? Eh?
は～い！
(咳き込む声)
風邪… ひいちゃった｡
I caught a cold.
(咳き込む声)
うっ… 苦しい…｡
It hurts...
My head is splitting...
頭が割れるようｱﾙ… お粥を…｡
I'll probably...
お粥を食べれば治る気がするね…｡
I'll probably feel better if I eat some rice porridge...
いや 卵粥だろ｡
No, you gotta add egg.
卵をといた粥を…➡
Pretty sure I won't get better without rice porridge with egg and takuan...
[Note: Takuan is a traditional Japanese pickle made from daikon radish.]
たくあんつきじゃないと 治らない気がする…｡
あの… なんで わざわざ 家に来るんですか？
Uh, why did you come all the way to my place?
調子悪いなら 寝てればいいでしょ｡
Shouldn't you rest at home if you're sick?
何しに来たんですか？
Why did you come here?
Don't be so cold.
つれねえこと言うなよ｡
Neither of us can move.
ｵﾚたち ２人とも動けねえんだぜ｡
言わば… あれだろ｡
[Note: Parody of Dragon Quest III video game.]
Like, you know, in DQ when a party of jesters have been paralyzed.
ﾄﾞﾗｸｴで戦闘中に ﾏﾋしちまった 遊び人のﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰじゃん｡
[Jesters - Helpless beings that just play around during battle. But, they never run out of laughs; they're just creepy, popular guys!]
遊び人って…｡
Jesters?
That's a strange analogy,
自分たちのことを 理解できてんのはいいですけど➡
but in the game, jesters have their minds paralyzed the second they go on a journey.
[Kintoki suddenly collapses! Kintoki: *Snore Snore* He somehow manages to breathe normally! Kintoki: Ahh... Ahh... I can't move. Kintoki is bound by evil spirits.]
遊び人だけで旅に出てる時点で➡
脳内ﾏﾋが起きてんでしょうが…｡
最後の力 振りしぼって ここまで来たんだよ｡
We used the last of our strength to make it here.
看病するなら １人も２人も３人も 変わんねえだろ｡
There can't be much difference between looking after one person or two or three.
I leave the rest to you, Mecha Doc.
[Note: Spoof of manga "Yoroshiku Mecha Doc" (Mechanical Doctor). Serialized in Shonen Jump in the 80s.]
あとは よろしくﾒｶﾄﾞｯｸ｡
って家… 教会でも 宿屋でもないんですけど…｡
Uh, this isn't a church or inn or anything.
[Note: Parody of game "Dragon Quest."]
普通に民家に泊まっても➡
You won't restore HP or recover from status effects by staying in a commoner's house.
ﾋｯﾄﾎﾟｲﾝﾄも 状態異常も治りませんよ｡
My body is burning... I'm gonna die...
体が熱くて… 死にそうｱﾙ…｡
く… 苦しい… ｱｲｽｸﾘｰﾑを…➡
It hurts...
I might...
ｱｲｽｸﾘｰﾑを食べれば 治る気がするね…｡
I might get better if I eat some ice cream...
All you've been thinking about is food!
お前は さっきから 食べることしか 考えてねえだろ！
Shin-chan, I'll give you a hand, so let's make rice porridge for everyone.
新ちゃん 私も手伝うから➡
みんなの分も お粥作りましょうか｡
いやいやいや！ 姉上は寝ててください！
No, no!
You just rest!
病人でしょ！ (銀時/神楽)うん うん｡
Aren't you sick?
But I can't just lie down in this situation.
でも こんな時に 寝てなんかいられないわ｡
ﾊﾞｯｶ野郎！ ﾑﾘすんじゃねえ！
You fool!
Don't push yourself!
料理なんてしたら お前 おっ死ぬぞ！
Your cooking will lead to death!
ｵﾚたちが～！
For us!
You should take better care of yourself!
もっと自分を大切にしろっ！
そうね！ ｱﾈｺﾞは 生きてさえいてくれればいいね！
That's right.
We just want Sis to live.
他に何も望まないｱﾙ！
We're not asking for anything else.
２人とも… そんなに私のことを 思ってくれていたの…｡
You two care about me that much?
Fine!
も～！ わかりましたっ！
I get it!
ﾎﾞｸがやればいいんでしょ！ ﾎﾞｸが３人まとめて➡
I just have to do it, right?!
I just have to take care of all three of you, right?!
看病すればいいんでしょ も～!!
(近藤)す… すみません｡
S-Sorry...
Could you make it four?
４人まとめてでも いいですか？
(さっちゃん)すみませ～ん｡
Sorry...
Could you add another one...?
もう１人 追加でお願いします｡
(咳き込む声)
(近藤)まさか ここまでの感染力を 持っていたとは｡
I didn't think it'd be so contagious...
お妙さんを 看病しにきたというのに➡
I came here to take care of Otae-san,
逆に看病されることになるとは！ 近藤勲 一生の不覚！
but now I'm being taken care of!
The biggest mistake I've ever made!
でも 銀さんのｳｲﾙｽに感染できて➡
But I'm so happy to contract a virus from Gin-san!
私 幸せ！ ﾒﾁｬﾒﾁｬにすればいいじゃない｡
Wreck me hard, why don't you?
思う存分 私を ﾎﾞﾛﾎﾞﾛにしなさい 銀ﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞ！
Have your way with me, Ginfluenza!
何言ってんだ！ このｳｲﾙｽは お妙さんのｳｲﾙｽ｡
What are you talking about?!
This virus is from Otae-san!
Violate me, Taefluenza!
ｵﾚを犯せ 妙ﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞ！
猛れ 銀ﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞ！ 叫べ 妙ﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞ！
Harder, Ginfluenza!
Squeal, Taefluenza!
Indulge yourself, Ginfluenza!
むさぼれ 銀ﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞ！ えぐれ 妙ﾌﾙｴﾝｻﾞ！
Deeper, Taefluenza!
ぎゃあ～！ ｱﾂｯ！ ｱﾂｯ！
It burns! It burns!
やかましいわ！ なにが看病だ 変態ども！
You're too damn loud!
You sickos wanted to take care of them, my ass!
お前ら ただ ｽﾄｰｶｰしてただけだろうが！
You were just stalking them!
Why do I have to take care of stalkers?!
なんでﾎﾞｸが ｽﾄｰｶｰの看病まで しなきゃならねえんだ！
落ち着け 新八君｡
Calm down, Shinpachi-kun.
It's long been said that you'll recover from a cold if you give it to someone else, yeah?
風邪は人にうつせば治ると 古来から言われているだろう｡
I intended to sacrifice my body to save Otae-san...
ｵﾚは この身をていして お妙さんを救おうと…｡
ｺﾞﾎｯ ｺﾞﾎｯ…｡
Sis, you okay?
ｱﾈｺﾞ 大丈夫ｱﾙか？ ｺﾞﾎｯ ｺﾞﾎｯ…｡
どこが治ってんだ！ 淀んだ空気で➡
She isn't any better!
She's even worse because the air's all contaminated now!
さらに病状が 悪化してんでしょうが！
なんだって どいつもこいつも 家に集まってくるかな！
Why do all these people have to gather at our house?!
ｳｲﾙｽ持ちが こんなに１か所に固まったら➡
Nobody will get any better with this much virus concentrated in one place!
治るもんも治りゃしませんよ！
いいのよ 新ちゃん｡ 姉上！
It's fine, Shin-chan.
Sis!
(お妙)風邪をひいてる時って 自分だけ不幸になったみたいで➡
Everybody feels lonely when they're sick,
like they're the only one suffering in the world.
誰しも心細くなるものでしょ｡
こうして 同じ病状の人が 隣にいてくれるだけで➡
It feels reassuring to have so many sick people in the same room.
なんだか少し心強いわ｡
What are you talking about, Sis?!
何言ってるんですか 姉上！ この人たちは違う病気なんです！
These people are sick in a different way!
根本的に生き方が病気なんです！
Their way of life is fundamentally sick!
That's right!
そうよ！ 私は 銀さんという名の 病にかかっているの｡
I'm infected by the disease known as Gin-san!
死が２人を分かつまで 離れられないの！
I can't leave him, until death do us part!
What?!
何を!? それならｵﾚは➡
That means I'm infected by an incurable disease called Otae-san!
お妙さんという 不治の病にかかっているのだ｡
I won't be able to leave her after I'm dead!
死してもなお 離れることがないほどにな｡
ちょっとは否定しろよ お前ら｡
Couldn't you people at least pretend to deny it?
Shin-chan...
新ちゃん いつもは いがみ合っているけど➡
We may fight all the time,
今日は 病人同士 運命共同体みたいなものじゃない｡
but we're all sick and in the same boat now.
Let's work hard together to beat this cold.
一緒にがんばって 風邪を克服しましょう｡
お… お妙さん…｡
Yes, Otae-san.
Let's work hard together, Otae-san!
一緒に がんばりましょう お妙さん！
みんなで元気になって また あの頃のように➡
We'll get better and run around the fields like we used to!
一緒に野原を駆け巡りましょう！
(お妙)そんな頃 ありましたっけ？
When did that ever happen?
There's a folk remedy I'd like to try.
私 試してみたい 民間療法があるんです｡
このﾈｷﾞを使った 方法なんですけど…｡
It involves this green onion...
あ！ ﾈｷﾞには 咳 ﾀﾝを抑える効果が あるらしいですからね｡
Ah, green onions are supposed to be effective against coughs and phlegm.
昔ｶﾞｷの頃 母ちゃんに のどに巻かれたりしました｡
My mom wrapped one around my throat when I was a kid.
So what are we going to do?
で どうするんですか？
お妙さん！
Otae-san! How much longer do I have to keep this up?!
あと どれくらい やればいいんですか？
Until your fever's gone and you're frozen stiff.
熱が下がって ｶﾁｺﾁになるまでで～す｡
Sis, he's going to die.
姉上… あの人 死にますよ｡
これで少しは 淀んだ空気が正常化したわ｡
That should help clear up the air.
でも空気が とっても乾燥してる｡
But the air's too dry.
The virus is going to multiply.
これじゃ ｳｲﾙｽが大繁殖だわ｡
That's it.
そうだ！ お庭に水をまいておきましょう｡
I'll water the yard.
お妙さん！ 雪が雨に変わりました｡
Otae-san?!
The snow turned into rain?!
姉上… あの人 ﾎﾝﾄに死にますよ｡
Sis, he's really going to die.
Hey...
ちょっと！ 早く そこ閉めてよ｡ 寒いじゃないのよ｡
Could you shut the door?
It's cold.
寒気が ずっと おさまらないわ｡
I can't stop shivering.
なんだ 寒いのか｡
Oh, you're cold?
Then I'll sleep with you.
じゃあ一緒に寝てやろうか？ え!?
Huh?
寒い時は 肌と肌で温め合うのが いちばんだろ｡
You're supposed to lie naked together when it's cold.
え… あっ ちょっ… 銀さん…｡
Ah, wait, hold...
Gin-san...?
ま… 待って銀さん！ ﾀﾞﾒよ｡
Wait, Gin-san!
Y-You can't!
ううん ｲﾔじゃないけど ﾀﾞﾒよ こんなの｡
Not that I don't want to...
But you can't!
だって こんな所で… みんな見てるじゃない｡
Not here!
They're all watching!
This... This...
こんなの… こんなの…｡
興奮するじゃないの～！ あぁ!!
Makes me so excited!
Gin-san!
銀さ～ん!! あぁっ！ もう どうにでもして！
Do whatever you want!
新八 これ以上 ｳｲﾙｽ持ち入れるんじゃねえぞ｡
Shinpachi, don't let any more sick people in.
あの… あれ ﾎﾞｸの宝物なんですけど｡
Uh... That was really important to me...
(物音)
Th-That's...!
こ… これは！ ものすごい量のｳｲﾙｽが➡
A large amount of virus is sneaking in through the door cracks!
障子の隙間から！
(咳き込む声)
(長谷川)うわ～！
お… お妙ちゃん 見舞いに来たよ～｡
O-Otae-chan...
I'm here to see how you're doing...
Now we have someone whose very existence could be considered a virus!
存在そのものが ｳｲﾙｽみたいなﾔﾂが来た～！
Huh?
あれ？ 何だ？ 銀さんたちも来てたんだ｡
Oh? What's this?
You guys are here, too?
What's this?
なんだよ みんなして仲よく風邪か？
You're all sick together?
(咳き込む声)
まったく…｡
Honestly...
You're such a weak bunch.
やわなﾔﾂらだなぁ｡
I'm used to living on the streets, that's why I'm fine as you can see.
ｵﾚなんて路上生活してるから このとおりだよ｡
What the hell?!
どのとおりだ！ 血 吐いたよ！
You just threw up blood!
You've got something worse than a cold!
もうすでに風邪と呼べる ﾚﾍﾞﾙじゃねえよ これ！
(咳き込む声)
As you can see, I'm just fine.
このとおり ﾋﾟﾝﾋﾟﾝさ！
ほとんど裸で暮らしてるのに 全然 寒さなんか感じないんだよな｡
I don't feel cold at all when I'm practically naked.
He's wearing the virus.
ｳｲﾙｽ着こなしてる！ この冬 ｳｲﾙｽでｷﾒちゃってるよ！
He's posing with the virus like it's a winter trend!
This is just a small token,
(長谷川)これ つまらない… ものなんだけど➡
みんなで食べて元気出してよ｡ 名古屋名物の…｡
but please eat it together and get better.
It's a Nagoya delicacy...
微妙に ういろうじゃねえ！ ただの嫌がらせじゃねえか！
What is this stuff covering the Uiro?!
[Note: Uiro is a steamed cake from Nagoya.]
Are you trying to poison us?!
We appreciate the thought,
気持は ありがたく 受け取っとくから さっさと帰れ！
now scram.
I'm feeling worse.
具合 悪くなってきた｡ え？
そう言うなよ｡ 今日 ﾂﾞﾗっちも 見舞いに来るって言ってたからさ｡
Don't be like that.
Zura-chi said he'd drop by later.
We can all chat together.
みんなで話そうぜ｡ えっ 桂さんが!?
Huh? Katsura-san?
Give me a break already.
ちょっともう 勘弁してくださいよ！
Don't bring any more virus in here!
これ以上 ｳｲﾙｽ持ち込まないでください！
Don't worry.
大丈夫だ｡ ﾂﾞﾗは ああ見えて ｵﾚより頑丈だ｡
Despite his looks, Zura's tougher than I am.
He doesn't catch colds.
風邪なんかひくﾔﾂじゃねえ｡
That may be true,
そうかもしれませんが よく考えてください 銀さん｡
but just think, Gin-san.
Kondo-san is here.
ここには近藤さんがいるんですよ｡
Won't it be a problem if he and Katsura-san see each other?
桂さんと鉢合わせしたら やっかいじゃないですか これ｡
Man, it's working!
いや～ 効いてます！ これ効いてますよ お妙さん！
It's really working, Otae-san!
I'd say it's having more of a spiritual effect than a physical one!
体より むしろ精神的に効いてます｡
Since I almost lost my dignity as a human being!
一瞬 人間の尊厳 忘れそうになりましたからね｡
Oh my...
あら～ 近藤さんにも人間の尊厳 なんてものがあったなんて➡
I'm surprised to hear that Kondo-san had any dignity to begin with.
ﾋﾞｯｸﾘだわ｡ とにかく今は➡
In any case, it would be bad for Katsura-san to show up right now.
桂さんに来てもらっちゃ まずいですよ｡
You have a point.
確かに そうかもな｡ (桂)たのもぅ！
Excuse me!
Shoot!
しまった！ 遅かった！ あっ 来た！ お～い！
We're too late!
Oh, you're here.
Over here! Over here!
こっちだ こっち！ ﾂﾞﾗっち！ ﾂﾞﾗっちじゃない｡
Zura-chi!
I'm not Zura-chi.
(桂)ｳｲﾙｽ･ﾐｽだ｡
I'm Ill Smith.
[Note: Wordplay of actor "Will Smith" and "Virus." Japanese pronunciation of "Virus" sounds like "Wills."]
ｳｲﾙｽどころか ｳｲﾙｽ･ﾐｽになってますけど！
He's not just sick! He's turned into Ill Smith!
完全に やられてるじゃないですか！
He's obviously been infected!
だって ｳｲﾙｽ･ﾐｽだもの！ ｳｲﾙｽそのものだよ!!
Since he's Ill Smith!
Sick to his very genes!
And who the hell is Ill Smith?!
つうか ｳｲﾙｽ･ﾐｽって誰!? ｷｻﾏら 揃いも揃って➡
How pathetic of you all to catch colds.
風邪なんぞにかかりおって まったく情けない｡
ｲｴｽ ｳｨｰ ｷｬﾝ｡
Yes, we can.
[Note: Parody of President Obama's campaign slogan.]
What country are you the president of? "Yes, we can," he says.
どこの大統領だよ｡ ｲｴｽ ｳｨｰ ｷｬﾝって言ったよ｡
ｷｬﾗ すげえ適当だよ！ 完全に間違ってるよ！
His character's so random.
That's totally somebody else.
You were infected by this virus because of the sloppy lifestyle you lead.
日ごろから たるんだ生活を送っているから➡
ｳｲﾙｽなどにつけこまれるんだ｡ ｲｴｽ ｳｨｰ ｷｬﾝ｡
Yes, we can.
I don't want to hear that from someone who's sick to his very genes!
ｳｲﾙｽになってるﾔﾂに 言われたくねえよ！
An unbreakable will leads to the prevention of colds.
揺らぐことのない精神を 持つことが風邪の予防になるのだ｡
Can you celebrate?
[Note: Title of popular song by Namie Amuro.]
ｷｬﾝ ﾕｰ ｾﾚﾌﾞﾚｲﾄ！ しりとり？ しりとりになってんの!?
What are you saying?
Did the virus get his brain?
まぁ あの顔なら 半ｺﾞﾘﾗに ﾊﾞﾚる心配もねえんじゃねえの｡
Well, I doubt the half-gorilla will recognize him with that face.
Y-You're right.
そうですね｡ あれ？ でも おかしいな｡
Huh?
But that's odd.
Katsura-san's infected to his very genes,
ｳｲﾙｽそのものになるほど 感染してるのに➡
全然 桂さん元気ですよ｡
yet he looks perfectly fine.
それに まったく ｳｲﾙｽがまとわりついてない｡
And there isn't any virus around him.
Hey! Look at that!
おい あれ見ろ！ あっ あれは!?
That's...!
は… 長谷川さんのｳｲﾙｽが みるみる消えていく！
The virus around Hasegawa-san is vanishing!
Could it be...?!
まさか あれは➡
Katsura-san is absorbing Hasegawa-san's virus?!
長谷川さんのｳｲﾙｽを 桂さんが吸収している！
I-I see...
そ… そうか！ ﾂﾞﾗの野郎 今まで 風邪ひとつひかなかったのは➡
Damn Zura...
I thought he never caught colds because his body resisted viruses,
ｳｲﾙｽを寄せつけない体質だから だと思っていたが➡
but it's the opposite.
むしろ その逆 ﾔﾂはｳｲﾙｽを 極度に寄せ集めやすい体質｡
His body absorbs viruses,
ゆえに ｳｲﾙｽに対する耐性が強まり 風邪をひくことがなかったんだ！
which means his immune system was strengthened to the point
where he can never catch a cold!
ｳｲﾙｽ･ﾐｽにまでなったのも そのせい!?
That's why he became Ill Smith.
Which means...
ということは つまり…｡
か… 体が…｡ 楽になっていくｱﾙ｡
M-My body...
I feel better.
こ… これは！ ｱﾘ？
Th-This is...
Huh?
す すごい！ みんなの風邪を 瞬く間に治してしまった！
A-Amazing...
He cured everybody's cold in no time.
I-It's like he's...
(みんな)これは まるで…｡
ｲｴｽ ｳｨｰ ｷｬﾝ｡
Yes, we can.
♪♪～
《ﾒｼｱ… ﾎﾞｸらをｳｲﾙｽから救うため 天から遣わされたﾒｼｱだ｡
A messiah...
A messiah sent from the heavens to save us from the virus.
桂さん… いや ｳｲﾙｽ･ﾐｽ｡
Katsura-san, I mean, Ill Smith...
You were actually helpful!
ｱﾝﾀも 役に立つことが あったんだね！》
Otae-san!
お妙さん！ 効きました ﾈｷﾞ！
The green onions worked!
熱が ｳｿのように下がりました！
My fever's completely gone!
It's amazing!
すごいや！ やっぱり お妙さんは すごいよ｡
You're so amazing!
You should all give it a try! Come on!
みんなも 早くやってみるといい！ ほら！
That's...!
あれは！
All of the pent-up virus
今まで溜め込んでいたｳｲﾙｽが ｹﾂから噴き出していく！
is blowing out his ass!
あ…｡
(２人)う… うわ～！
なんだ… 夢か｡
Oh...
It was just a dream...
あぁ よかった｡
That's a relief.
Yes, we can.
(みんな)ｲｴｽ ｳｨｰ ｷｬﾝ｡
(悲鳴)
あれは つらかったですよね｡
That was a tough ordeal!
うんうん… ね？ じゃねえよ！
Right?
Like hell!
What's with the forced flashback?!
なんだ その強引な回想は！
Why did the flashback start with the opening and finish with the ending?!
なんで 回想がｵｰﾌﾟﾆﾝｸﾞから始まって ｴﾝﾃﾞｨﾝｸﾞで終わるんだよ！
途中のCMまで お前の回想？
The eyecatch was even part of the flashback!
Didn't you screw up the timing for starting and ending the flashback?!
回想の入りと終わり 間違ってない!?
We can't do anything about that.
(神楽)しかたないね｡ 今回の原作 ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟに載ってたの ２月だもん｡
This chapter was in JUMP in February
第10号だもん｡ ぶっちゃけてんじゃねえ！
Volume 10.
Don't mouth off to me!
開き直るな！ つ～か 強引すぎるだろうが！
Don't snap at me!
And this was too much of a stretch!
[The End]
[Preview]
Why?
Why you?
That's what I should be saying, dimwit.
Shut up! Zip it, mayo baldie!
No, you shut up, poop curls!
The next episode...
"Two Is Better Than One!
Two People Are Better Than One!"
いやぁ よかった よかった｡
Man, that's good. That's good.
We managed to make it through this week somehow.
とりあえず 今週も なんとかなったな｡
At this rate, we'll make it through the fourth year in no time.
この調子なら あっという間に➡
４年目も 走り切れそうな気がするね｡
That won't do, Kagura.
ﾀﾞﾒだぞ 神楽｡ まだ１ｸｰﾙ｡
We're only through one cours.
ここで気抜いてたら 我が家の ｼｬﾜｰﾄｲﾚまで たどり着けないぞ｡
If we relax now, we won't be able to make it to the washlet toilet at home.
あと３ｸｰﾙも もちそうにないｱﾙ｡
I don't think I can hold on another three seasons.
もういいｱﾙ ここでするね｡
Forget it.
I'll just go right here.
だから なんで ﾎﾞｸ ﾒｶﾞﾈだけ？
So why am I just a pair of glasses?
[Welcome to Anime Town. It's just outside the Kami-Igusa train station.]
[Note: "Ai Senshi" was an ending theme from the GUNDAM anime.]
[By the way, the song the music box plays at noon is "Ai Senshi" (Soldiers of Sorrow).]
[See you next time.]
♬『ゼッコーチョー！』
♬～