♪♪～
《銀時:早くしてくれ…｡
Hurry it up...
頼むから… 早くやってくれ｡
I'm begging ya.
Make it quick.
お願いだ… 早く… ｵﾚにとどめを刺してくれ｡
Please...
Hurry...
End my suffering!
Why don't you finish me off?
なぜ ひと思いにとどめを刺さない｡
Why must you waste time?
なぜ 時間を稼ぐ…｡
殺せよ！ やるなら ｻｯｻとやりやがれ!!
Kill me!
Just get it over with!
Do you enjoy torturing me?!
ｵﾚをもてあそんで そんなに楽しいか ﾃﾒｴら！
頼むよ！ こうして ただ黙って➡
Please!
I can't stand just sitting here waiting for my death!
忍び寄る死を待つのは つらすぎんだよ！
I'll go insane!
気がおかしくなりそうなんだよ！ なぁ お願いだ！
I beg ya!
早く… 早くｵﾚを殺してくれ!!》
Quick!
Kill me!
あの坂田さん… すみませんけど お静かにしてもらえます？
Um, Sakata-san.
Excuse me, but could you keep it down?
他の患者さんの ご迷惑なんで｡
You're disturbing the other patients.
[Namu Dental Clinic]
すみません｡
Sorry about that...
["People Of All Ages Hate The Dentist!"]
《ｲﾔだ… ｲﾔだよ 歯医者｡
No...
I hate going to the dentist.
この独特なﾆｵｲ… いかがわしい ｲｰｼﾞｰﾘｽﾆﾝｸﾞ｡
That distinctive odor...
That shady easy listening music...
鳴り響くﾄﾞﾘﾙ音｡
The echoing whir of the drill...
And the wait... It's like waiting for your death sentence...
そして 死刑執行を待つような この待ち時間｡
ｲﾔだ 超帰りてえ！ 今すぐ帰って➡
Damn! I SO wanna go home!
Go home, latch on to Sadaharu, and cuddle in his fur!
定春に抱きつきてえ！ ﾓﾌﾓﾌしてえ！
But my tooth hurts...
でも歯 痛いし でも治療怖えし｡
No, but I'm scared of the treatment...
もう何巡目だ こんなこと考えんのは｡
How many times have I gone through this?
Just put me out of my misery.
頼むから もう ｻｯｻと とどめ刺してくれ｡
Sure, a candy lover is doomed to a life of cavities,
確かに 甘い物好きと虫歯は 切っても切れない縁だけれども➡
but that aspect of my character's been forgotten, you know?
最近は すっかりそんな設定 忘れられてたじゃん｡
There was no scene of me eating sweets lately.
全然 甘いもん食べるｼｰﾝなんか なかったじゃん｡
絶対 削られるよな｡ 絶対 ﾄﾞﾘﾙ 口に突っ込まれるよな｡
They're gonna drill.
They'll stick that thing in my mouth for sure.
ﾄﾞﾘﾙなんて普通 口に突っ込むもんじゃねえよ｡
A drill doesn't belong in your mouth.
いちばん 突っ込んじゃいけないもんだよ｡
It's the last thing you should stick in there!
That's not what a doctor's supposed to do.
医者のやっていいことじゃねえよ｡
What do I do?
どうしよう… もし ﾄﾞﾘﾙ突っ込まれてるときに➡
Will I die if I sneeze when the drill's in my mouth?
ｸｼｬﾐとかしちゃったら死ぬのかな｡ ｵﾚ 死ぬのかな｡
Am I gonna die?
どうしよう… もし削りｶｽとか ﾂﾊﾞとか吸い込む あの機械に➡
What do I do?
Will I die if that sucking tube thing gets my tongue?
舌とか巻き込まれたら死ぬのかな｡ ｵﾚ 死んじゃうのかな》
Am I gonna die?!
あぁ～！ やめやめ！ もうやめ～!!
Stop, stop!!
Enough already!!
I'll stop thinking about it.
《余計なこと考えるのは もうやめよう｡
I'll read a magazine or something to take my mind off that.
雑誌でも読んで気を紛らわそう｡ ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣… ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣…｡
JUMP... JUMP...
[Note: "Weekly Shonen Magazine" published from Kodansha.]
What? This place prefers Magazine?
なんだ ここ ｢まがじん｣派かぁ｡ まぁ たまにはいいか…》
I guess it can't hurt every once in a while...
ﾔﾆでも取りに来たのか？ ﾆｺ中｡ (土方)ﾂﾗ見りゃわかんだろ｡
Here to clean your tobacco stains? You nicotine addict!
Can't you tell from my face?
An old silver cap decided to rot on me.
昔 詰めた銀歯の奥が 知らねえうちに腐ってたんだよ｡
Damn, anything with the word "silver" in it is bound to fail.
[Note: Part of Gintoki's name is "Gin", which is silver in Japanese.]
まったく 銀のつくﾔﾂに ろくなもんはねえ｡
Let go. I grabbed it first.
離せよ 先に取ったのｵﾚだろ｡
No, we touched it at the same time.
いや 同時だ｡ そもそも ﾃﾒｴ ｢ｼﾞｬﾝﾌﾟ｣派だろ｡
And don't you prefer JUMP?
Let this Magazine fan have it.
ここは｢まがじん｣派のｵﾚに譲れよ｡
It's a good idea to check out the enemy at times.
たまには敵情を観察することも 大切なんだよ｡
創刊50周年だか なんだか知らねえけど➡
So what if it's the 50th anniversary?
Why are you teaming up with Sunday?
[Note: Weekly manga magazines "Magazine" by Kodansha and "Sunday" by Shogakukan celebrated their 50th year since being first published together back in 1959.]
｢ｻﾝﾃﾞｰ｣と組んで なに悪だくみしてんだよ｡
こざかしいんだよ ﾃﾒｴら｡ なに妬いてんの？
Something's up there.
What, are you jealous?
You want in or something?
仲間に入りたいの？ ﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰに 入れなかったのが悔しいの？
You upset about not being invited to the party?
Heck no.
全然 勝手にやれば？ ｵﾚたちは １人のほうが全然 気楽だし➡
Go enjoy it yourselves.
It's easier for us to go solo.
つるむとか嫌いだし 眼中にねえし お前らなんて｡
No point in cooperating when you guys have no chance against us.
You've got it backwards.
眼中にねえのは こっちなんだよ｡ 嫌われてるのわかんないの？
Don't you understand that everyone hates you?
お前ら… はじかれてるのわかんないの？
Can't you tell that you're being shunned?
あの お静かに｡ 他の患者さんが…｡
Please keep it down.
What? Pretending to be popular?
You're disturbing the other patients...
Haven't you realized that Sunday's only pretending to be a buddy to Magazine?
｢ｻﾝﾃﾞｰ｣は ｢まがじん｣の 友達のﾌﾘしてるだけだよ｡
He was trashing you on the way home from school the other day.
こないだ学校 一緒に帰ってるとき ﾒｯﾁｬ悪口言ってたから｡
｢ｻﾝﾃﾞｰ｣が そんなことするわけねえだろ｡
Sunday would never do that!
Don't make shit up.
いいかげんなこと言ってんじゃ…｡ じゃあ ｢ﾁｬﾝﾋﾟｵﾝ｣に聞いてみろよ｡
Go ask Champion.
[Note: "Weekly Shonen Champion" is manga magazine from Akita Shoten.]
ｱｲﾂも聞いてたから｡ うるせえよ！
He heard it too.
Shut up!
What do you know about Sunday?!
ﾃﾒｴに ｢ｻﾝﾃﾞｰ｣の何がわかんだよ！ かりそめの仲よしごっご➡
Keep on pretending to be all tight!
やってればいいじゃん！ ﾎﾝﾄは全然 仲よくないくせに｡
Too bad you're anything but!
Hey! I told you to shut the hell up!
Everybody knows already!
おい うるせえって言ってんだろ ﾃﾒｴら！
Gangan and Ace know too!
[Note: Monthly manga magazines. "Gangan" is published by Square Enix and "Shonen Ace" is published by Kadokawa Shoten.]
《ｲﾔなﾔﾂと会っちまったぜ…》
I just had to run into this jerk.
Why did I have to bump into him of all people?
《よりによって こんな所で 鉢合わせしちまうなんざ…》
I have to act calm.
《平静を装わなければ…》
I can't let him know my weakness.
《ｺｲﾂにだけは 弱みを 握られるわけにはいかねえ》
《２人:いい歳こいて 歯医者が苦手なんて➡
I can't let him know that I still hate the dentist at this age!
絶対 知られたくねえ！》
おい… ちょっと さっきから いいかげんにしてくんない？
Hey, can you cut that out?
Constantly fidgeting...
ｿﾜｿﾜ ｿﾜｿﾜ 何回 足を組み替えてんだよ｡
How many times are you going to cross your legs?
なんか こっちも落ち着かねえだろ おい｡
You're making me nervous.
お前こそ何だよ さっきから 貧乏揺すり ﾊﾝﾊﾟねえんだけど｡
And what about you?
Your leg's been tapping like crazy.
[Note: Restless Legs Syndrome is known as "Poor People's Shake" in Japan, based on how poor people are often always shivering, etc.]
Could you cut it out?
やめてくんない？ 貧乏がうつる｡ ﾃﾒｴのｿﾜｿﾜに ｲﾗついてんだろうが｡
You're gonna make me poor like you.
I'm all irritated because of your fidgeting.
あれ？ ひょっとしてあれかなぁ ﾋﾞﾋﾞってらっしゃるんですか？
Oh?
Is that it?
Are you scared?
The Demon Vice-Chief?
鬼の副長ともあろうお方が｡ え？ 何が？ 意味がわかんない｡
Huh? What?
No idea what you're talking about.
何にﾋﾞﾋﾞるの？ 歯医者で 何か怖いことってあったっけ？
Scared of what?
Was there something scary about the dentist?
いや別に～｡ 何もないけど｡
No, not really.
Nothing at all.
怖いことがあると思ってるから そういう発想になるんだろう？
You said that because there's something to be scared of.
ﾋﾞﾋﾞってんの お前じゃねえの？ んなわけないじゃん｡
Which means you're the one who's scared?
Hell no.
ほら よく言うじゃん ﾄﾞﾘﾙの音が怖いだのなんだのと｡
You know how people say that the sound of a drill can be scary?
ｵﾚには まったくわからねえけど｡ ｵﾚも まったくわからねえな｡
Not that I would understand.
I don't get it either.
Hell, I want a drill in my mouth every week;
むしろ 毎週 ﾄﾞﾘﾙ突っ込んでほしいぐらいだし｡
come in to get plaque removed on a regular basis.
定期的に歯垢とか 取りに来たいくらいだから｡
What? You don't do that?
あれ？ お前やってないの？ ｵﾚなんか もう３日にいっぺん➡
I have the whole package done every three days.
ﾄﾞﾘってもらってるけどね｡ 口の中 気持悪くてしゃあないよね｡
My mouth feels all icky if I don't get that drill in there.
ﾄﾞﾘらないと… うん｡
Oh, really.
あぁ そうなんだ｡ ｵﾚは自宅に ﾏｲﾄﾞﾘﾙあるから➡
I have my own drill at home so I don't have to come here.
通う必要はないんだよね｡ ﾄﾞﾘﾗｰだからさ ｵﾚ｡
Since I'm a driller.
Driller?!
《ﾄﾞﾘﾗｰ!? なに ﾄﾞﾘﾗｰって！
What the hell's a driller?!
なんで ﾏｲﾄﾞﾘﾙなんて 持ってんだよ！
Why do you have your own drill?!
ｺｲﾂ ﾊﾝﾊﾟねえ！ まったく ﾄﾞﾘﾙに ﾋﾞﾋﾞってねえ！》
He's crazy!
No fear of drills!
なんだよ お前も ﾄﾞﾘﾗｰだったのか 奇遇だな｡
Oh, you're also a driller?
What a coincidence.
今度 あれだったら 一緒にﾄﾞﾘﾙｺﾝﾃｽﾄでも出てみねえ？
Interested in entering a drill contest with me?
Drill contest?!
《ﾄﾞﾘﾙｺﾝﾃｽﾄ～!? やだ 出たくねえ そんな大会！
No way! I don't wanna do that crap!
This guy enters a contest like that?!
ｺｲﾂ そんなもんに出場してたのか｡ なんて恐ろしい野郎だ！》
He's a monster!
あぁ 休日が合えばな｡ まぁ 空けるようにしとくよ｡
Sure, if I'm off that day.
Well, I'll try to keep my schedule open.
(長谷川)あれ？ 仲の悪い２人が こんなところで何やってんだ？
Huh? What are you two doing here together?
Hasegawa-san.
長谷川さん｡
You guys are also having teeth problems?
なんだ お前たちも 歯やっちまったのか？
I was taking a walk and decided to stop by for a drilling.
(土方)あぁ まぁ ちょっと 散歩がてら ﾄﾞﾘりにな｡
(長谷川)ﾄﾞﾘり？ なんだ それ｡ 長谷川さんも ﾄﾞﾘりに？
A drill? What are you talking about?
Are you also here for a drilling?
A drilling? Well, I'm here to get treated.
ﾄﾞﾘっていうか まぁ 治療にな｡
I just stepped out for a bathroom break.
小便したくて ちょっと 抜けてきたとこなんだけどよ｡
But man...
いやぁ まいったわ｡
ここの治療… 超痛えぞ｡
The treatment here really hurts.
へ へぇ そうなんだ｡
O-Oh, really...
I hate those month-long treatments that require you to keep going back to the dentist.
ｵﾚ 何か月も ﾀﾞﾗﾀﾞﾗ 歯医者通うのｲﾔだからさ｡
I heard that they did it in one shot here.
ここなら１回の治療で 済むって聞いてきたんだけど｡
いや 治療は早いけど 痛いのなんのって｡
Sure, they're fast, but it hurts.
ｵﾚ 何回 声あげそうになったか わからねえよ｡
I felt like screaming so many times.
長谷川さん！ まだですか？
Hasegawa-san!
Are you finished?
あぁ すみません！ 今行きます！
Oh, sorry! I'm on my way.
I'll be going then.
じゃ 行くわ｡ ｵﾒｴらも 覚悟かためといたほうがいいぜ｡
You'd better prepare yourselves.
そ そうか 痛いのか…｡
I-I see...
It hurts...
まぁ でも 歯の治療は 痛くて当たり前だしな｡
W-Well, dental treatments are supposed to hurt.
そ そうだね｡ 逆に痛くないと➡
Th-That's right...
To the point where you wonder if it worked if it didn't hurt.
ﾎﾝﾄ これで治ったの？ って 不安になるからな｡
Hmm? You look a little pale?
あれ？ なんか顔色悪くねえ？
いや 全然｡ (長谷川)ｷﾞｬ～!!
Not at all.
Hasegawa-san, don't struggle!
長谷川さん あまり暴れないでください｡
危ないから じっとしてて｡
It's dangerous so you have to stay still!
Hold Hasegawa-san down.
(薮田)ちょっと長谷川さん｡ 押さえつけて｡
Tie him down to the seat.
ﾍﾞﾙﾄで ｲｽに縛りつけて｡ あぁ そうそう そんな感じ｡
Ah, yes. Like that.
《なんか 尋常じゃないくらい 苦しんでるんだけど…》
Doesn't this sound a little too painful?
《いったい どんな治療してんだ!?》
What kind of treatment is this?!
先生 長谷川さんの脈が！
Doctor! Hasegawa-san's pulse!
(薮田)心臓ﾏｯｻｰｼﾞして｡ あれだったら 電気ｼｮｯｸ｡
Perform CPR. If it doesn't work, bring out the defibrillator.
《電気ｼｮｯｸ!? なんで 歯医者で そんなもん必要!?》
Defibrillator?!
Why would a dentist need that?!
Doctor! His pulse is back,
先生 脈は戻りましたけど 衝撃で ｱﾚがとれました｡
but the shock threw "that" loose!
《ｱﾚがとれた!? ｱﾚって何だよ！ 何がとれたんだ？》
Threw "that" loose?!
What's "that"?! What's loose?!
Oh, it's okay. We won't be using that again.
(薮田)あぁ 大丈夫｡ もうそれ 使わないから ﾎﾟﾝ酢につけて｡
Dip it in the ponzu sauce.
[Note: Ponzu sauce is a citrus based sauce often used as dip for shabu-shabu.]
《ﾎﾟﾝ酢につける!? 何やってんだ いったい！》
Dip it in the ponzu sauce?!
What are they doing?!
Wouldn't this go better with sesame sauce, Doc?
先生 これは どっちかというと ごまﾀﾞﾚのほうが合いますね｡
《ごまﾀﾞﾚ？ しゃぶしゃぶやってんの？
Sesame sauce?!
Are they having shabu-shabu?!
これ しゃぶしゃぶだよね!?》
They're having shabu-shabu, right?!
Okay, that should do it.
(薮田)よし だいたい終わりかな｡
It's over?!
《終わりなの!? ﾎﾟﾝ酢でしめたよ！》
They finished it with a ponzu sauce?!
(薮田)どうですか？ 長谷川さん｡
How do you feel, Hasegawa-san?
(長谷川)いや ｳｿみたいに 痛みがとれましたね｡
Man, it's like the pain's completely gone.
《痛みどころか なんか 人体の一部がとれたらしいよ｡
Not just your pain, but like a part of your body's also gone!
ﾎﾟﾝ酢で いかれたらしいよ！》
It's been dunked in ponzu sauce!
You'll be able to eat anything you want now, just like before.
(薮田)これで 以前のように 何でも食べられますから｡
(長谷川)いやぁ ありがとうございました 先生｡
Man... Thank you very much, Doc.
これ 痛み止めと➡
We've included some painkillers and a toothbrush specially made by us.
特別に うちで作った 歯ﾌﾞﾗｼつけときますから｡
あぁ すみません｡ 気遣ってもらって｡
Thanks for being so considerate.
じゃあ お大事に！ ありがとうございました！
Take care now.
Thank you very much!
いやぁ すっかり治ったぜ！
Man, I'm completely better now.
ﾒﾁｬｸﾁｬ痛かったけど なかなかいい歯医者だったよ｡
It was damn painful, but the dentist was pretty good.
ほら 親切に 歯ﾌﾞﾗｼまでつけてくれたし｡
Look, they even included a toothbrush!
《２人:つけとくって どこに!?》
Included as in literally included?!
Wait!
《待て！ 歯が治ったかわりに➡
Your teeth are fine now, but you lost something more important instead?!
それ以上 大事なﾓﾝ 持ってかれてるじゃねえか！》
《等価交換どころの 騒ぎじゃねえよ！》
That's way beyond an equivalent exchange!
You should come in for a new toothbrush if the bristles wear out.
歯ﾌﾞﾗｼが ﾊﾞｻﾊﾞｻになったら また取り替えにきてくださいね｡
ちょっと 言いたいことがあるんですが…｡
May I say something...?
《そうだよ言え！ ｸﾚｰﾑつけろ！》 《とんでもねえﾔﾌﾞ医者だよ》
Yeah! Speak your mind! Sue them!
That's one crazy quack!
I need a hard toothbrush to get the job done.
ｵﾚ 毛質硬めじゃないと 磨いた気にならないんですけど｡
《２人:そこじゃねえだろ！》
That's not the issue here!
あぁ 大丈夫ですよ｡
Yes, no problem.
We included a hard toothbrush on your crotch to be safe.
予備で 股間にも 歯ﾌﾞﾗｼつけときましたから｡
そっちは いじくってたら なんか硬くなります｡
It'll get hard when you play around with it.
《｢硬くなります｣じゃねえ！ そんなとこで➡
That's not the point!!
How are you supposed to brush your teeth with it?!
どうやって歯磨くんだ！ 奥さんしか磨けねえだろ！》
Only your wife can reach down there to brush with it!
(薮田)はい じゃあ お大事にね｡
Well, you take care now.
Oh, it's Toshi!
(近藤)おぉ ﾄｼじゃねえか！ お前たちも治療に来てたのか！
You guys are also here to get treated?
Kondo-san...
近藤さん｡ いや なかなか➡
Man, this dentist does good work!
いい歯医者だった！ すっかり治っちまったよ！
I'm completely better now!
おまけに 特別に 電動歯ﾌﾞﾗｼまでつけてくれてな｡
They even included an...
electric toothbrush.
《電動歯ﾌﾞﾗｼっていうか…》
Electric toothbrush...?
《それ ただの 長谷川さんの手じゃね？》
Isn't that Hasegawa-san's arm?
Well, it smells like ponzu sauce, but it's pretty useful.
ちょっと ﾎﾟﾝ酢くせえんだけど かなり使えるよね これは｡
《おい！ 完全に 長谷川さんのだろ！》
Hey! It's obviously Hasegawa-san's!
そうか？ なんでも➡
Really? I don't like the idea of letting machines do the work.
機械に頼るってやり方は ｵﾚは好きじゃないな｡
やっぱ 歯くらいは 自分の手で磨かないと｡
You have to brush your teeth with your own hands.
《いや それがお前の手だから｡
Yeah, that'd be your hand right there.
And hasn't your hand been replaced by a toothbrush?
つ～か すでに お前の手 歯ﾌﾞﾗｼになってるし！》
If Hasega...
長谷… 電動歯ﾌﾞﾗｼが腐ったら また取り替えにきてくださいね｡
The electric toothbrush starts to rot, please come in to get it replaced.
《今 長谷川さんの腕って 言いかけたよね!?》
She was about to say Hasegawa-san's arm, wasn't she?!
Excuse me...
すみません あの… この電動歯ﾌﾞﾗｼ➡
I'm having a hard time getting the brush to reach my mouth.
ｲﾏｲﾁ 口元に届かないんですけど 大丈夫ですか？
Is that okay?
大丈夫です｡ 届かなかったら➡
It's fine.
If it doesn't reach, use a toothbrush in your own hand to brush your teeth.
自分の手で 歯ﾌﾞﾗｼを持って 磨いてください｡
《だったら なんでつけたんだ！ ただの嫌がらせじゃねえか！》
Why'd you include the arm then?!
That's just harassment!
じゃあ ２人とも お大事に｡
Take care now, you two.
《お大事にじゃねえだろ！ お前らが患者を大事にしろ！》
Take care, my ass!
Why don't you take care of your patients first?!
This isn't dental care. They're modifying your body!
《歯治すどころか あんなもん ただの改造手術じゃねえか！》
This dentist is crazy!
《やばい… この歯医者 やばすぎる！》
It's way too insane!
ひぃ～！
《お おい 何やってんだよ ﾃﾒｴ さっさと帰れよ｡
H-Hey...
What are you doing? Get outta here!
ここは もう歯医者なんかじゃねえ ただのｼｮｯｶｰ本部だぞ》
This is no dental clinic.
It's Shocker HQ.
[Note: An Evil organization from the Kamen Rider series. Shocker performs modification operations that gives the subject superhuman fighting abilities.]
Stop being stubborn and scram.
《意地張ってねえで 帰れよ｡
ねぇ 何やってんの？ 帰ってお願い 300円あげるから》
Hey, what are you doing?
Go home, please!
I'll give you 300 yen.
What's wrong with this guy? Why doesn't he run?
《何なんだよ ｺｲﾂ！ なんで逃げねえんだ!?》
《空気読めよ ｺﾗ｡
Get a clue!
I can't leave until you do, fool!
お前が帰らねえと ｵﾚも帰れねえんだよ ﾊﾞｶ野郎！》
Could the next patients please step inside.
じゃ 次の患者さん 入ってください ２人ずつ｡
Two at a time.
《えっ おい ｳｿだろ!?》
No way. You're kidding.
Are we seriously going?
《ﾏ ﾏｼﾞでいくの!?》
さあて 今回のﾄﾞﾘﾙは どこまで ｵﾚの中にえぐり込んでこれるか➡
Well, let's see how deep that drill will go this time.
ｵﾚの魂にまで届くかなぁ｡
Will it reach my soul?
《ｲﾔだ！ 行きたくねえ！
No! I don't wanna go!
How would a drill reach my soul?!
何？ 魂に届くﾄﾞﾘﾙって｡ 言ってて 全然意味わかんねえ》
I have no idea what I'm saying!
Why do people dig?
人はなぜ 穴を掘り進むのか？
そこに ﾄﾞﾘﾙがあるからさ｡
Because they have drills.
What was that?!
《何それ!? ﾊﾞｶなの？ ｵﾚは ﾊﾞｶなの？
Am I an idiot?! An idiot?!
Stop pretending to be a man and run for it!
男の意地なんて どうでもいいから さっさと逃げろ！》
《おい～ 誰か～！》 《誰か…》
Hey! Somebody!
Anybody!
《２人:ｵﾚたちを止めてくれ～！》
Stop us!!
♪♪～
(薮田)どうも｡ 南無歯科医院の 薮田です｡
Hello.
I'm Yabuta of the Namu dental clinic.
Sakata-san and Hijikata-san, right?
坂田さんと 土方さんね よろしくお願いしますね｡
I'll be taking care of you today.
ﾊﾊﾊ そんなに かたくならないでよ｡
Don't be so nervous.
痛くしませんから｡ まっ 気楽にかけて｡
It won't hurt.
Well, just relax. C'mon, relax.
ほら かけて｡
A-A crime scene?!
《２人:さ 殺人現場!?》
Is a dental operation room supposed to be this red?
《治療室って こんなに 真っ赤だったっけ？
もっと白くなかったっけ？
Wasn't it supposed to be whiter?
All spic-and-span?
もっと 清潔な感じじゃなかった!?》
《歯の治療って こんなに出血したっけ？
Was dental care always so bloody?
もっと こぢんまりした道具が 並んでなかったっけ？
Weren't the instruments more compact?
ﾁｪｰﾝｿｰとか あったっけ!?》
Was there a chainsaw involved?
Is this how going to the dentist was like?!
《２人:歯医者って こんなんだったっけ～!?》
Well, you've both got some swollen faces.
あぁ ２人とも だいぶ腫れちゃってるね｡
どうして こんなになるまで 放置してたの？
Why did you leave it alone so long?
ﾀﾞﾒだよ 口っていうのは いわば 人間の玄関だからね｡
That's no good.
The mouth is like the entrance to a human.
人となりを知る 入り口という 意味でもあるのよ｡
Also the first step to getting to know a person.
歯をみれば その人がどんなんか だいたい わかるからね うん｡
You can judge a person by their teeth.
やっぱりね 歯が汚い人は だらしない人が多い｡
Yeah, most people with dirty teeth are slobs.
歯を きれいに管理してる人は➡
People who keep their teeth clean probably listened to their parents.
親のしつけも 行き届いた人が多いよね うん｡
だから 若い患者さんが来たときは いっつも こう言ってるのよ｡
Yep, that's why I always tell my young patients the following.
合ｺﾝやるときは 相手の顔とか ｷｬﾗより まず…➡
When you go on a group date, looks and personality don't matter.
Check their boobs first.
おっぱいを見ろってね｡
Doc, the door to your entrance has fallen off its hinges...
《２人:先生 玄関ﾄﾞｱ外れてます～！》
You can judge a person after seeing their boobs.
おっぱい見たら 人となりも わかるしね うん｡
This Doc is terrible!
《土方:やっぱり 全然 ちゃんとしてねえよ 先生｡
Women with big areolae on their breasts have big hearts that are more forgiving of adultery.
最終的に おっぱいの話してるし》
He's talking about boobs!
The door's fallen loose,
《ﾄﾞｱ外れてるどころか 玄関から 便所みてえなﾆｵｲが放たれてるよ｡
and there's a toilet-like smell coming out!
玄関入って そっこう 便所のﾆｵｲがした➡
Like Niwa-kun's place where you go in the door and it smells like a toilet!
丹羽君ちみたいになってるよ！ 便器が玄関だよ あれ！》
The toilet is his entrance!
あぁ あと 乳輪が小さい女は ｶﾞﾝｶﾞﾝ束縛してくるよね➡
And women with small areolae on their breasts tend to be smothering.
要注意だよね｡
You've gotta be careful.
Nobody would want to smother you!
《誰も お前なんて 束縛しねえよ！》
とにかく 女は乳輪だね｡ あとは どうでもいいね うん｡
Areolae are the key to women.
Nothing else matters.
What kind of a group date would involve looking at their areolae?!
《つうか 乳輪が見える合ｺﾝって➡
What kind of group date did you go to?!
いったい どんな合ｺﾝに 参加してたんだよ!?》
Okay...
さて じゃあ そろそろ 治療始めましょうか｡
Let's get down to business.
２人とも とりあえず 助手に かるく診せるから｡
I'll have an assistant take a quick look at you.
Well, it's possible that my assistants will be able to take care of you.
まっ 助手たちでもどうにかなる 程度かもしれないしね｡
G-Good... He's not doing the treatment.
《た 助かった｡ ｺｲﾂが治療すんじゃねえのか》
お～い ちょっと そこの２人！
Hey! You two!
Yes!
は～い｡ はい｡
Yes.
Nakayama-san and Battle Fairy Shazzan-san.
中山さん 戦闘妖精ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝさん どっちが診たい？
Which do you want?
《中山さ～ん！》 《断固 中山さん！》
Nakayama-san!
Definitely Nakayama-san!
《ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝさんだけは 勘弁しろ～》
Anybody but Shazzan-san!
え～ どうしよう｡ どっちが好み？
Ooh, what to do?
Which one do you like?
私は 黒髪のほうかな？
I prefer the one with black hair.
《土方:つうか 何だ!? あれ｡ なんで 戦闘妖精ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝが➡
And what the hell is that?
Why is Battle Fairy Shazzan working in a dental clinic?!
歯医者にいんだ!? つうか 戦闘妖精ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝって何だ!?》
What the hell is Battle Fairy Shazzan?!
おたくらは どっちに診てもら…｡ (２人)中山さんがいいです！
Which do you want to look at you?
I want Nakayama-san!
あぁ ちょっと 坂田さんのほうが 早かったね｡
Sakata-san was a little faster.
Then Sakata-san will have Nakayama-san.
じゃあ 坂田さん 中山さんね｡ (土方)待って！ ちょっと待って！
Wait!
Uh, hold on!
よっしゃ～！ 助かった！
Right on...
I dodged a bullet there.
中山です よろしくお願いしますね坂田さん｡
The name's Nakayama.
I'll be taking care of you, Sakata-san.
Y-You're Nakayama?!
《ｵ ｵﾒｴが 中山かよ～!?
待て！ ちょっと待て！
Wait!
Hold on!
お前は どう見ても 戦闘妖精ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝだろ!?
You totally look like a Battle Fairy Shazzan!
どう見ても 中山さんじゃねえだろ!?》
You're obviously not Nakayama-san!
《ﾌﾌﾌ ざまあみろ｡
Suck on that.
よくわからんが こっちの助手が➡
I don't know what's going on,
but I guess this lady was Battle Fairy Shazzan-san.
戦闘妖精ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝさん だったようだな》
あ あの よろしくお願いします ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝさん｡
W-Well, I'm all yours, Shazzan-san.
♪♪～
I am Battle Fairy Shazzan.
戦闘妖精ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝです よろしくお願いします｡
I'll be taking care of you.
Why?!
《なんでだ～!?》
Well, Nakayama-san, Shazzan-san, do your best.
じゃ 中山さん ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝさん がんばってね～！
(２人)ﾗｼﾞｬｰ｡
Roger.
So Nakayama-san and Shazzan-san are both battle fairies?!
《結局 中山さんも ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝさんも 戦闘妖精じゃねえか！》
Then, we shall explain this clinic's system before we commence treatment.
では 治療の前に 当医院の ｼｽﾃﾑについて➡
説明させてもらいます｡
Before you do that, explain how you've ended up as battle fairies!
《そんな説明の前に まず お前らが どうして➡
戦闘妖精になったか 説明しろ！》
Our clinic will treat your dental maladies,
当医院は 歯の治療はもちろん➡
二度と 虫歯にならぬよう 予防対策のｵﾍﾟも➡
and also provide operating services to prevent any future cavities.
ｻｰﾋﾞｽとして行っているんです｡
《土方:だからそれ もう 歯医者じゃねえだろ！》
That's way beyond a dentist's job!
(中山)では ｺｰｽの説明をさせて いただきます｡
Then we'll move on to an explanation of your options.
歯の治療と改造手術が ｾｯﾄになってるのが Ａｺｰｽ｡
Option A provides treatment of your cavity and surgery to modify your body.
Ｂｺｰｽは 改造手術に ﾄﾞﾘﾝｸﾊﾞｰが付く 仕様となっております｡
Option B provides surgery to modify your body and comes with free drinks.
《Ｂｺｰｽ！ もはや 歯の治療してねえだろ｡
Option B has nothing to do with my teeth!
なんで ﾄﾞﾘﾝｸﾊﾞｰが付いてくんだよ!?》
Why are there free drinks?!
あのう すみません 改造手術はいいんで➡
Uh, excuse me.
Isn't there an option that skips the surgery and gets my cavity treated?
歯の治療だけやってくれるｺｰｽは ないんですか？
治療と改造 別々にｵｰﾀﾞｰするなら➡
You'll save money by choosing Option A instead of getting the treatment and surgery separately.
ｾｯﾄのＡｺｰｽのほうが お得ですよ｡ いや だから➡
No, I don't want the surgery.
改造手術はいらないんです｡ 治療だけしたいんです｡
I just want to get this cavity treated!
そうなると いちばん近いのは ＺｺｰｽかＸｺｰｽですね｡
Then I would recommend either Option Z or X.
何なんですか？ それ｡
What are those?
Option Z includes a massage when you get your cavity treated.
Ｚｺｰｽは歯の治療のほか ﾘﾗｯｸｽﾏｯｻｰｼﾞがつきます｡
Ｘｺｰｽは 歯の治療に ｻﾗﾀﾞﾊﾞｰがつきますね｡
Option X includes a salad bar when you get treatment.
A-Ah, then I'll take Option Z.
あ… あぁ じゃあ ｵﾚ Ｚｺｰｽでいいです｡
ﾘﾗｯｸｽﾏｯｻｰｼﾞがつくほうで｡
With the massage?
Yea, whatever. That'll do.
どうでもいいけど それで｡ ﾗｼﾞｬｰ｡
Roger.
《あぁ よかった｡ なんとか 改造手術だけは免れたか》
Whew... I managed to avoid the surgery.
I'm Betty. I'll be taking care of you, boss.
ﾍﾞﾃｨﾃﾞｽ｡ ﾖﾛｼｸ ｼｬﾁｮｻﾝ｡
They attached a massage girl!
《ﾏｯｻｰｼﾞ嬢つけられた～！ 結局 改造されてんじゃねえか｡
I ended up getting modified!
しかもこれ 虫歯予防も何も まったく関係ねえだろ!?
And this has nothing to do with preventing cavities!
全然 やる気ねえけど｡
This thing has no intention of doing its job!
せめて もう少しｸﾞﾚｰﾄﾞの高い娘➡
Couldn't they give me a higher quality girl at least?!
つけてくれても よかったんじゃねえの！》
(中山)解説しよう｡ 移植した快楽要塞ﾍﾞﾃｨと➡
Allow me to explain.
Pleasure Fort Betty and Sakata-san have been neurologically connected,
坂田さんは 神経までつながることにより➡
本来ﾒｶである快楽要塞ﾍﾞﾃｨは 彼の目には➡
which means that the robot Pleasure Fort Betty
appears as an actual massage girl to Sakata-san.
まるで 生身のﾏｯｻｰｼﾞ嬢のように映るのだ｡
[In Actuality]
[Through Gintoki's Eyes]
Our service is perfect.
当院のｻｰﾋﾞｽは完璧である｡
That was close!
《危なかった！ 危うく ｵﾚも➡
I was about to end up the same way!
あんなもん つけられるところだった｡
But I already learned that I should think carefully from the battle fairy deal.
ﾊﾞｶめ｡ 軽率に動けば痛い目を見るのは➡
戦闘妖精の件で学習済みだ｡
Option X!
Ｘｺｰｽ！ 歯の治療にｻﾗﾀﾞﾊﾞｰがつく｡ こちらが正解だ》
Treatment with a salad bar service.
This is the right answer.
Uh, I'll have Option X.
あの ｵﾚのほうは Ｘｺｰｽでお願いします｡ ﾗｼﾞｬｰ｡
Roger.
No way you can attach a salad bar to a body.
《ｻﾗﾀﾞﾊﾞｰなどというｼｽﾃﾑが 体につけられるわけもない｡
ｸｸ… ありがとうよ｡
Thanks. Your failure saved me from making the same mistake.
ｷｻﾏのﾊﾞｶのおかげで 同じ轍を踏まずに済んだぜ》
[Note: "Baa" here is used to mean "old lady" not "bar"]
Th-They gave me a Salad Baa!
《ｻ… ｻﾗﾀﾞ婆つけられた！
They got me!
[In Actuality]
やられた！ ｻﾗﾀﾞﾊﾞｰって ｻﾗﾀﾞ婆のことだったのか｡
This is what they meant by a "salad bar"?!
つうか ｻﾗﾀﾞ婆って何!?
And what's the point of this?!
[Through Hijikata's Eyes]
She's just sitting there eating salad!
ただ ｻﾗﾀﾞ食ってるだけの ばばあじゃねえか！
And she's using dressing instead of mayonnaise!
しかも ﾏﾖではなくﾄﾞﾚｯｼﾝｸﾞ派かよ｡ 最悪だ！
This just sucks!
こんな趣味の合わないばばあと 一生一緒に➡
I'll have to watch this old lady eat salad without mayo for the rest of my life?!
ｻﾗﾀﾞをつつき合わなければ いけないのか！》
Okay, that should take care of the preparations.
よし じゃあ下準備は これくらいでいいですね｡
Preparations?!
《どんな準備だよ！ まったく 役に立ちそうにねえだろ!!》
What could this possibly prepare us for?!
Then we'll begin the actual treatment now.
じゃあ本格的な治療 始めますね｡
Treat my body before you treat my teeth!
《歯の治療の前に この体を治療しろ｡
Give me back my original body!
もとの体を返せ！》
Open wide.
お口 あ～んしてください｡
Please relax.
力抜いてください｡ 怖いことなんて何もないですよ｡
There's nothing to be scared of.
《お前が怖いんだよ！》
You're damn scary!
口を大きく開けてくださいね｡
Open wide.
ﾄﾞﾘﾙに触れたら 顔 吹き飛びますよ｡
Your face will be blown off if it touches the drill.
《そんな でけえﾄﾞﾘﾙ 口に入るわけねえだろ！》
That huge-ass drill can't fit in my mouth!
Don't worry.
安心してください｡ 改造によって あなたたちの体は➡
The modifications mean that your body will suffer less from the treatment.
治療の負担が 軽減されるようになってます｡
Well? There shouldn't be much pain.
どうですか？ あまり痛みを感じないでしょ？
《言われてみれば…》
Now that you mention it...
It doesn't hurt at all.
《痛みを まったく感じないぞ》
Our clinic specializes in swift care,
(中山)当医院は 迅速な治療が 売りとなっていますが➡
患者の身には それだけ負担もかかるのです｡
but that puts a heavier burden on the patient.
(ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝ)改造手術を推し進めるのは まず患者の皆さまに➡
The surgery modifies your body to cope with the care and allow for safe treatment.
治療に耐えうる体に なってもらい➡
安全に治療を進めるためでも あるのです｡
Uh, safe?
《いや 安全っていうか➡
This stopped being safe when you modified our bodies!
改造されてる時点で 安全もｸｿもないからね》
Hold on a second...
《２人:っていうか これ➡
全部 あっちに いってるだけじゃねえか!?》
Is all the damage being shifted over to them?!
They bear most of the pain, so relax as we treat you.
(ｼｬｻﾞｰﾝ)痛みは ほぼ彼女たちが 肩代わりしてくれるんで➡
安心して治療を受けてください｡
Uh, that's no ordinary pain.
[Through Hijikata's Eyes]
《土方:いや 尋常な苦しみ方じゃ ないんですけど｡
It's pretty hard to relax while that's going on.
とても 安心して 見てられないんですけど》
[In Actuality]
If it weren't for them, you would be feeling even more pain.
(中山)彼女たちがいなければ この苦しみが➡
もろに皆さんを 襲っていたんですよ｡
[Through Gintoki's Eyes]
《痛み感じてないだけで あんな状態になるようなこと➡
So we don't feel any pain, but whatever's happening to our body causes that much pain?
[In Actuality]
されてるの!? 大丈夫なの？ ねぇ！
Is that okay?! Huh?!
[Through Gintoki's Eyes]
あの… やめて そんな目で見ないで｡
No! Stop!
Don't look at me like that!
[In Actuality]
なに!? ｵﾚが悪いの？ ｵﾚがﾀﾞﾒなの？》
What? Is it my fault?!
Was I wrong?!
[Through Hijikata's Eyes]
《ｵﾚのせいじゃないよね｡ 違うよね？ 関係ないよね？》
This isn't my fault.
[In Actuality]
Yeah, I have nothing to do with this!
《あ… あれ？ 何これ？
Huh? What is this?
なんか変なﾋﾞｼﾞｮﾝが 頭に流れ込んでくるよ｡
I've got this weird image in my mind.
Hey! What is this?
何これ？ ねぇ 走馬灯じゃねえの!?
Like my life is flashing before my eyes?
あれ… もしかして ﾍﾞﾃｨの走馬灯じゃねえの!?
Or is this Betty's life?
And what's with the fake memories?!
つうか なに勝手に記憶捏造してんの？
I don't remember anything like that happening!
お前と こんな覚えねえよ!! やめろ 妙なもん見せんじゃねえ！
Stop! Don't show me that creepy stuff!
I didn't do anything wrong!
ｵﾚは何も悪くねえ ｵﾚ関係ねえし！
This has nothing to do with me!
I'm the one who was modified and getting screwed!
改造されて迷惑してんの こっちだし!!》
《あれ 何だこれ？
Huh? What is this?
Strange images are flowing into my mind.
妙な映像が 勝手に頭に流れ込んでくる｡
おい これ… 走馬灯!? ｻﾗﾀﾞ婆の走馬灯？
Hey, are these flashbacks...?
The salad old lady's life is flashing before my eyes?!
つうかｻﾗﾀﾞ婆 ろくな思い出ねえ!! ｻﾗﾀﾞとの絡みしかねえ！
And she has no actual memories!
It's all about vegetables!
ｻﾗﾀﾞ婆 いいのか これで？ ろくな思い出ないままで｡
Are you okay with this?!
Dying without any decent memories...
いや いい｡ ｵﾚは歯を治すんだ｡
No, I want to get my cavity treated.
I don't give a damn about a salad old lady!
ｻﾗﾀﾞ婆なんて 知ったこっちゃねえんだ!!》
《２人:ｵﾚは悪くない ｵﾚは悪くない ｵﾚは悪くない…｡
It's not my fault! It's not my fault! It's not my fault!
ｵﾚのせいじゃない ｵﾚのせいじゃない…｡
Yeah!
そうさ ｵﾚたちは 何にも悪くな～い!!》
We didn't do anything...
WROOOOOONG!!
Um, excuse me.
あの～ すみません ｳﾁ歯医者じゃないんですけど…｡
This isn't a dental clinic.
知ってますよ｡
I know.
いや でも その症状は どう見ても虫歯でしょ｡
Well, you obviously have cavities.
早く歯医者に行ったほうが…｡
You should go see a dentist.
We don't care about the cavities.
いや もう虫歯はいいんです｡ そのうち腐って落ちますから｡
It'll rot and fall out soon enough.
じゃあ何しにきたんですか？
Then why are you here?
(２人)彼女を なおしてください｡
Please fix her...
[Preview]
Okay, people.
Clean out your ears and listen good!
Okay! Will do!
Next time on GinTama the anime... "Countdown Begins"!
Huh? Why isn't there any reaction?
Come on...
["Countdown Begins"]
We're not falling for that again.
[The countdown finally begins for GinTama the anime.]
[See you next time.]
♬『ゼッコーチョー！』
♬～