＜新八:ｱﾆﾒ『銀魂』 映画化決定＆ ＤＶＤ だいたい➡
１位の座を つかみ取るのはいったい誰？＞
百万本突破記念で始まった➡
第二回 ｷｬﾗｸﾀｰ人気投票で あったが➡
果たして このﾊﾞトﾙの末に➡
その結果順位に納得が いかないものたちによって➡
血で血を洗う ﾗﾝｷﾝｸﾞﾊﾞﾄﾙが始まってしまった｡
To celebrate the Gintama anime becoming a movie and breaking roughly one million in DVD sales,
we held the second character popularity poll.
However, a bloody ranking battle has waged by those unsatisfied with the results.
Who will be in 1st place at the end of this battle?!
[Popularity Polls Can...]
I look away for a second and this happens.
(沖田) ちょいと目を離した隙にこれだ｡
There's a traitor among us.
ｵﾚたちのなかに 裏切り者がいる｡
はてさて いったい誰だろうね 新八君｡
Well then...
Who might it be, Shinpachi-kun?
I-It wasn't us!
ﾎﾞ ﾎﾞｸらじゃない！ 長谷川さんは ﾎﾞｸらより 下位だったんですよ！
Hasegawa-san was ranked lower than us!
So why would we need to lower his rank?!
なぜ それを おとしめる必要があるんです？
その決めつけ自体が 間違いだったのかもしれねえ｡
That assumption may be a mistake.
If the perpetrator's goal isn't to raise his rank,
もし犯人の目的が 上位に上がることではなく➡
ただ 気にくわないﾔﾂを おとしめることだったとしたら？
but to take out people he doesn't like...
そんな そんなこと｡
That's...
That's just...!
あのｸﾞﾗｻﾝ 順位は お前さんより下だが➡
Sunglasses there may have been a lower rank than you,
ﾒｶﾞﾈが本体 ほとんどｸﾞﾗｻﾝの成分で できているなどというﾈﾀで➡
but I hear you two shared the running joke of the glasses being the main body.
完全にお前とかぶってたらしいな｡
そして 言うまでもなく ｻﾞｷは 地味ｷｬﾗという点で➡
And I shouldn't need to mention that Zaki's character
overlapped with yours in terms of being boring.
致命的なまでに お前さんとｷｬﾗかぶりしていた｡
Y-You're wrong...
違う｡ ﾎﾞｸじゃない！ 犯人は ﾎﾞｸじゃない！
It wasn't me!
I didn't do it!
言い訳は 300位になってしな｡ うお～っ！
I'll listen to your excuses when you've reached 300th!
(銀時)300位に落ちるのは ﾃﾒｴだよ 沖田君｡
You'll be the one to drop to 300th, Okita-kun.
Gi-Gin-san!
ぎ 銀さん！
ﾌﾌﾌﾌｯ 遂に本性を 現しましたね 旦那｡
You've finally shown your true colors, Boss.
But you're a fool.
だが 甘え｡ ｵﾚを引きずりおろすには➡
You missed a piece when you were dragging my pants down.
一枚足りませんでしたね｡
U-Underwear Daburu Feinto?!
《ﾊﾟ ﾊﾟﾝﾂ ﾀﾞﾌﾞﾙﾌｪｲﾝﾄだと？》
A brilliant tactician assumes that he is going to be betrayed before he starts betraying others.
策士とは 人を裏切る前に➡
まず己が裏切られることを 想定するもんでさぁ｡
いや ﾊﾟﾝｲﾁで策士もｸｿもないよね｡
There's nothing brilliant or tactical about being in your underwear!
十分 醜態さらしてるよね これ！
You're definitely embarrassing yourself, aren't you?!
Odd Jobs!
(近藤)万事屋！ ﾊﾟﾝﾂとともに地獄へ落ちろ！
You're going down to hell with your underwear!
Gin-san!
銀さん！ なっ！
Th-This is!
こ これは！
《ﾚｯ ﾚｯﾄﾞﾛｲｰﾝｸﾛｽだと！》
R-Reddo Roincuroth?!
ﾌﾝ ﾊﾞｶめ｡ 今週の 前提供を見なかったのか？
Fool!
Didn't you see the sponsor message?
いつもはﾄﾗﾝｸｽ派だが 今回のｵﾚは 特別仕様で 赤ﾌﾝ穿いてんだよ｡
I normally wear boxers,
but just for this episode, I'm wearing a special red loincloth!
いや知らねえし！ ｹﾂ丸出しだし！
No, we didn't see it!
And your butt's totally exposed!
You idiots have been doing nothing but speaking in bad Engrish!
つうか さっきからﾃﾒｴら ｶﾀｶﾅ使ってるだけで➡
まったくたいしたこと やってねえけど！
(神楽) 公僕ども これでしまいじゃ！
Damn civil servants!
It's over now!
He's fully exposed to begin with!
はなっからﾌﾙﾁﾝじゃねえか！
F-Fu-ri Expozed?!
《 ﾌ ﾌﾙﾃｨﾝだと！》
いや ﾌﾙﾁﾝでいいじゃん！
Just say exposed!
It more or less sounds the same!
ほとんど読み 変わってねえじゃん！
Hah, fools...
ﾌｯ ﾊﾞｶめ｡ ﾊﾟﾝﾂを下げられ 下位に下がるというなら➡
If having your underwear dragged down will lower your rank,
最初からﾊﾟﾝﾂなど 穿かなければいいのだ｡
then you shouldn't wear underwear to begin with!
You're the fool!
ﾊﾞｶは ｵﾒｴだろ！ この人ﾎﾝﾄに警察？
Is this person really a police officer?!
His rank isn't going down after revealing his dirty parts to a girl?!
女の子に恥部見せて それでも順位下がってないけど！
ﾌﾌﾌｯ 冥土の土産に教えてやろう｡
As a parting gift, let me tell you why before you all go to hell.
ﾊﾟﾝﾂと順位の下がり具合が 連動するなどというのは➡
The whole dragging down the underwear along with the ranking
ｷｻﾏらｻﾞｺだけの話だ｡
only works on you losers!
ｵﾚはこれまで 何度も死地をくぐり抜け➡
I have danced with death on a regular basis
何度も恥部を露出し続けてきた｡
and exposed my private parts many times!
今更ﾌﾙﾃｨﾝになったところで 視聴者はもう見飽きてるんだよ！
The audience is already sick of seeing me fully expozed!
つまり ｵﾚの13位は ﾌﾙﾃｨﾝ込みの13位！
In other words!
My 13th place rank comes after I've already been fully expozed!
この戦いにおいて ｵﾚに死角はない｡
I have no blind spots in this fight!
どこをどう攻めようと この城を 落とすことは かなわないのだ！
You won't conquer this castle, no matter what you do!
死角しかないけど！ 攻めるところがないくらい➡
I can see blind spots everywhere!
The castle is so broken-down that there isn't anything left to attack!
城がﾎﾞﾛﾎﾞﾛなだけなんですけど！
You cannot take this impregnable fortress...
ｷｻﾏらにこの難攻不落の城 落とすことができ…｡
So what are you saying?
(お妙)じゃあ 何かい？ 元17位のわしは➡
That as someone who used to be 17th,
そのﾌﾙﾃｨﾝ込みの13位に… いや｡
I lost to a fully expozed 13th...
No...
I lost to that pathetic piece of crap?!
その粗末な汚物に負けた 言うんかい!!
He's fallen...
落ちた…｡ 難攻不落の城 違う意味で落ちた｡
The impregnable fortress has fallen in a different way.
姉御！
Boss Lady!
Kagura-chan, it's okay now.
神楽ちゃん もう大丈夫や｡ 汚れた悪魔は消滅したで｡
I've destroyed that dirty devil.
There's nothing for you to be scared of.
もう なんも 怖いことなんてあらへん｡
We have a message for the higher-ranked characters hiding in this hotel.
(九兵衛たち)このﾎﾃﾙに立てこもる 人気上位陣に告ぐ｡
(九兵衛たち)すでに ここは わしら➡
This place already
belongs to us, Diamond Perfume.
ﾀﾞｲﾔﾓﾝﾄﾞﾊﾟﾌｭｰﾑが 占拠させてもらいましたわ｡
(お妙)おとなしく 武器を捨て ｴｾ関西弁 および ｴｾﾛﾎﾞｯﾄﾀﾞﾝｽで➡
Throw down your weapons and electro-on with our fake Kansai accent and fake robot dance.
一緒に ｴﾚｸﾄﾛせぇや｡ (月詠)なんで こんなことに…｡
Why am I in this mess...
If you refuse...
(お妙)逆らう 言うんなら…｡
潰すで！
We'll crush you!
一瞬で鞍替えした！
She switched sides in an instant!
She brazenly switched to the side with the advantage in an instant!
すがすがしいくらい 一瞬で 有利なほうについた！
I'll kill you good and dead, yeah?
ぶち殺したろか ﾎﾝﾏ！ あん!?
どないしたりましょ？ ｺｲﾂら ﾎﾝﾏ｡
What do we do with these losers?
これだ…｡ 女は 利にさといから 信用できねえんだ｡
There you go.
Women can't be trusted because they do whatever benefits them.
But the same can't be said for men.
だが 男は ちげぇだろ？
旦那… まさか この包囲網 くぐり抜けるつもりですかい？
Boss, do you intend to break out of this siege?
How are we supposed to do that...?
そんなの いったい どうやって!?
(土方)ﾑﾀﾞな抵抗は やめなさい｡
Cease your futile resistance.
(桂)私たちに逆らっても ろくなことにならないんだから｡
Nothing good can come from going against us.
Y-You bastards!
お… お前ら！
(土方)どうやら くだらねえ争いしてる場合じゃ➡
It appears that we don't have time to fight among us.
なくなったようだな｡
As I said to begin with...
(桂)だから 最初から言ってるだろう｡
Terrible things would happen if we didn't unite.
一丸になって 事にあたらねば とんでもないことになる と｡
This is no longer a fight over a popularity poll.
(土方)ｺｲﾂは もう 人気投票争いなんかじゃねえ｡
It's a war of the sexes.
男 ＶＳ 女の戦争だよ！
ﾌﾌﾌ… 戦争？ おもろいやないかい｡
War?
You're a funny man.
お前さんら 野ｸﾞｿの集まりが わしらに勝てる 言うんか？
You think you crap heads can defeat us?
Diamond Perfume vs. Crapxile!
[Note: Spoof on the Japanese group Exile.]
We'll have a contest to see who's the real number one!
真のﾅﾝﾊﾞｰﾜﾝは誰か 実力で勝負じゃ！
[Popularity Poll Arc]
Diamond Perfume vs. Crapxile.
(お妙)ﾀﾞｲﾔﾓﾝﾄﾞﾊﾟﾌｭｰﾑ ＶＳ ﾉｸﾞｿｴﾙ どちらが上か…｡
We'll have a contest to see who's better!
実力で勝負じゃ！
Wait, Miss Otae!
(桂)待たれい お妙殿！
We should not continue this ugly fight.
これ以上 醜い争いを 続けるべきではない！
もう すでに ３週にもわたって➡
This pointless conflict has already dragged on for three weeks.
こんなくだらない争いを 繰り広げているのだぞ｡
(桂)人気だけではない｡
Popularity isn't the only thing at stake.
If we continue to drag out this ugly battle,
このまま だらだら 醜い争いを 繰り広げ続けたとしたならば➡
it's very possible that the sponsors will abandon us,
ｽﾎﾟﾝｻｰに見放され ３月いっぱいで 放送が➡
and the show will end in March!
終わってしまう可能性だって 大いにあるのだぞ｡
ここは 落ち着いて 話し合いで 事を済ますべきだ｡
We should calm down and talk this over.
We should have a discussion on what direction the show should head.
これからの方針について 皆で協議し合おう｡
One of the more pressing matters would be how I, Miss Kyubei,
当面の問題は ｵﾚと九兵衛殿 そして➡
and the newcomer, Miss Tsukuyo, have overlapping characters.
新入りの月詠殿の ｷｬﾗかぶり問題だ｡
誰が 堅物ｸｿ真面目ｷｬﾗでいくのか ｵﾚたちとｸｿ真面目に話し合おう｡
We need to have a dead-serious discussion about which one of us should continue
to play the dead-serious character.
G-Get...
(九兵衛)ﾎﾞ… ﾎﾞｸに…｡
ん!? なんだ？ 九兵衛殿｡ 何か 意見がおありか？
Hmm? What is it, Miss Kyubei?
Do you have something to say?
Get...
ﾎﾞｸに…｡
触るな!!
Your hands off me!
ｷｬﾗかぶり？
Overlapping characters?
ｱﾝﾀらにそないなことを 論ずる資格は 端からないで｡
You lot don't have the right to talk about that.
Because y'all are
だって ｱﾝﾀら ただの歴史偉人ｷｬﾗのﾊﾟｸりやんけ!!
mere ripoffs of historical figures!
桂さん！ 土方さん！
Katsura-san! Hijikata-san!
You didn't earn your own popularity!
ｱﾝﾀらの人気は 実力で勝ち取ったもんやない｡
ただの おこぼれや！
You only capitalized from the original's fame!
Fake imitation characters like you guys,
ｴｾ偉人ｷｬﾗが ｵﾘｼﾞﾅﾙで 踏ん張ってきたわしらに勝てるか｡
could never beat us original characters who've worked our way up!
言ってはいけないことを言った…｡
You weren't supposed to mention that...
あの女… 言ってはいけないことを言ったぞ｡
Damn woman...
She wasn't supposed to mention that...
Having to put up with complaints about how we mislead people
歴史のﾃｽﾄで 間違って 小太郎と書いてしまう｡
まぎらわしい！ などの苦情…｡
to accidentally put Kotaro on their history tests...
そして 偉人を汚すな！ という歴史ﾌｧﾝからの➡
Having to put up with history buffs complaining about how we're ruining the names of famous people...
苦情を乗り越えてきた ｵﾚたちの苦労…！
(２人)お前たちにわかるか！
You could never understand that pain!
桂！ 一時休戦だ！
Katsura!
A temporary truce!
I'll arrest you after we've finished them off!
お前を とっ捕まえるのは ﾔﾂら 片づけた後だ！
We need to show them our true strength!
ﾔﾂらに 我らの実力を 味わわせてやろうぞ！
待って！ 土方さん！ 桂さん！ う… うわ～っ！
Wait!
Hijikata-san! Katsura-san!
Wh-Whoa!
うおぉ～っ！
やはり 簡単にはいかぬな 九兵衛殿｡
I see that you won't make this easy, Miss Kyubei.
どうあっても 決着を つけねばならないようだな｡
It appears that this battle is unavoidable.
多少 ｷｬﾗかぶりしていたのは 竜宮編のときから➡
I'd realized that our characters overlapped since the Ryugu arc...
勘づいていたが… あのとき 始末しておくべきだった｡
I should have dealt with you then.
堅物ｷｬﾗは ｵﾚだけで十分だ！ 今すぐ 独眼竜ｷｬﾗに改変しろ！
I should be the only eggheaded character!
Change your character to the one-eyed dragon this very instant!
柳生筆頭として 英語を駆使し➡
The leader of the Yagyu who randomly speaks English, rides a horse like a Harley,
[Note: Historical figure Date Masamune as portrayed in the game "Sengoku BASARA."]
馬をﾊｰﾚｰのように乗りこなし ﾚｯﾂ ﾊﾟｰﾘｰしろ！
and goes, "Let's party!"
断る！ ﾛﾝ毛はおとなしく 滝に飛びこみ➡
I refuse.
You and your long hair should jump off a waterfall to learn the Rozan Sho Ryu Ha.
[Note: Dragon Shiryu from Saint Seiya.]
廬山昇龍破でも 会得してくるがいい！
どうあってもきかぬか 筆頭｡ ならば…｡
So you refuse to listen, head-chief...?
In that case...
Let's party!
ﾚｯﾂ ﾊﾟｰﾘｰ！
Hijikata-han, don't you need to go "let's party"?
土方はん おたくは ﾚｯﾂ ﾊﾟｰﾘｰしなくていいんですか？
ﾎﾝﾄは ｱﾝﾀがいちばん ﾚｯﾂ ﾊﾟｰﾘｰしたいんちゃいますの？
Aren't you the one who really wants to "let's party"?
２期に向けて ｳｽﾞｳｽﾞしてるんちゃいますの？
Aren't you all excited about the second season coming up?
[Note: Date Masamune in Sengoku BASARA is voiced by the same actor as Hijikata.]
What are you trying to imply?!
何が言いたいんだ ﾃﾒｴは！
Stop saying crap that'll bring down the fourth wall!
これ以上 世界を崩壊させかねん 発言は控えろ！
お前がいるかぎり 近藤さん含めての➡
As long as you're around,
the Shinsengumi, including Kondo-san, won't be able to stand alone at the top.
真選組 首位独占はありえねぇ｡ お前がいるかぎり➡
As long as you're around,
近藤さんの変態ｽﾄｰｶｰのｲﾒｰｼﾞが 消えることはねぇ｡
Kondo-san's image as a perverted stalker won't go away.
すべて終わらす｡
It all ends now.
This stupid mess and everything bad in the Shinsengumi's history...
この ﾊﾞｶ騒ぎも 真選組の負の歴史も！
上司の不祥事を 女ごと もみ消そうって ﾊﾗ？
So you intend to eliminate the woman who is the source of your boss's scandalous behavior?
さすがは 鬼の副長… 汚い仕事は お手のもんやなぁ｡
I would expect no less from the demon vice-commander.
You're used to doing dirty work.
However...
せやけど もう 真選組の 心配なんてしても ﾑﾀﾞやで｡
There's no point in worrying about the Shinsengumi at this point.
Since your Shinsengumi and everything else
もう おたくら真選組も 何もかも全部…｡
will be absorbed by us!
(お妙)わしらに 取り込まれるんやから！
Toshi!
ﾄｰｼｰ お前も こっちゃ来いよ～！
Come to our side!
(土方)ぎゃあ～っ！
どうやら ３位陥落も 時間の問題やな｡
It appears that it's only a matter of time before 3rd falls.
ﾌﾝ！ ﾃﾒｴら 首位を前に とんでもねぇﾐｽを犯しやがったな｡
You've made a fatal mistake in your push to reach the top.
What's that?
何がやねん｡ 負け惜しみも大概にしぃ｡
Don't be a poor loser.
ほれ！ 順位が変わりだしたで｡
See?
Our rank has changed.
３位も わしらの仲間入りや｡
3rd is now one of us.
なっ!? これは！ 12位!?
What?!
This is...!
12th?!
んな ｱﾎな！ なんで 順位が激下がりしとんねん！
Impossible!
Why did our rank suddenly drop?!
ﾌｯﾌｯﾌｯﾌ… 上位を取り込み 吸収し のし上がろうなんざ➡
It was a brilliant plan to absorb the higher ranked members.
たいした作戦を考えたもんだ｡
だがしかし… ｳﾁの大将は➡
But our commander isn't the type you can hold down.
ﾃﾒｴらの腹におさまるような 器じゃねぇぜ｡
ま… まさか！
C-Could it be...?!
Him?!
ﾔﾂか～っ！
He's so offensive that he's starting to drag Diamond Perfume's ranking down!
ﾔﾂの あまりの醜悪さに ﾀﾞｲﾔﾓﾝﾄﾞﾊﾟﾌｭｰﾑの順位が➡
足を引っぱられ 下がりはじめとるんや～っ！
しまった！ いくらなんでも➡
Curses!
It was a terrible mistake to absorb that gorilla!
あのｺﾞﾘﾗを吸収したのは 間違いやった！
(近藤)ﾄｼ！ 今だ～っ！
Toshi!
Now!
ｵﾚをやれ～っ！ ｵﾚを辱めろ！
Do me!
Embarrass me!
ｵﾚの順位が下がれば きゃつらの順位も下がる！
If my rank goes down,
so will theirs!
近藤さん！ ｱﾝﾀまさか… 内部から ﾔﾂらを陥落させるために➡
Kondo-san...
Don't tell me, you...!
You purposefully allowed yourself to be absorbed so you could destroy them from the inside?!
わざと吸収されて…｡
Don't worry about me!
ｵﾚに構うこたぁねぇ！ ｵﾚごと きゃつらを倒すんだ！
Defeat me along with them!
That's impossible, Kondo-san!
ﾑ… ﾑﾘだ 近藤さん！ ｵﾚにはできねぇ！
I can't do it!
Do it!
やれ！ やるんだ！
Do it, damn it!
You said the Shinsengumi will dominate the top, didn't you?!
真選組で首位を独占するんだろ！ ｵﾚも必ず 後から そっちに行く！
I'll catch up to you afterwards!
That's impossible!
(土方)ﾑﾘだ！ ﾌﾙﾃｨﾝのｱﾝﾀを➡
I'm supposed to embarrass you more when you're standing there fully expozed?!
そのうえ さらに 辱めろというのか！
ｵﾚにはできねぇ！ つぅか ﾌﾙﾃｨﾝ以上の恥があるのか!?
I can't do it!
And hell, what would be more embarrassing than being fully expozed?!
ﾓﾀﾓﾀしてんじゃねぇ！
Stop wasting time!
Do you intend to waste Kondo-san's good intentions!
近藤さんの気持を ﾑﾀﾞにするつもりか！
Take this!
くらえ！ 全裸にｳｴｽﾄﾎﾟｰﾁだ！
A waist pouch on a naked body!
ぐおぉ～っ！ そうだ！ その調子だ！
That's it!
Keep it up!
そうはさせへんでぇ！
I won't let that happen!
A waist pouch goes with chemical-washed jeans!
ｳｴｽﾄﾎﾟｰﾁといえば ｹﾐｶﾙｳｫｯｼｭｼﾞｰﾝｽﾞじゃ！ なに～っ!?
What?!
ﾎﾟｰﾁを利用した 完璧なｺｰﾃﾞｨﾈｰﾄで 順位を引き戻した～っ！
She brought my rank back up with by perfectly coordinating to the waist pouch!
(沖田)負けるか… これで どうだ！ 鎖かたびらだ！
I'm not giving in!
How's this?!
Chain mail!
(近藤)ぐお～っ!! (神楽)鎖かたびらといえば➡
Chain mail goes with sickle and chain!
武器は鎖鎌じゃ！ (沖田)ｸｿ…｡
Damn!
I'll add in the Cursed Belt!
かくなる上は 呪いのﾍﾞﾙﾄだ！
Then I'll give him the Shield of Ruin!
[Note: Dragon Quest Series items]
(神楽) なら こっちは破滅の盾じゃ！
This can't be!
(近藤)まさか！ (沖田)なら こっちは諸刃の剣だ！
Then I'll throw in a double-edged sword!
You're going with her coordination?!
(土方)いや お前 向こうに乗っかってるよ!!
(さっちゃん)どうやら ここまでのようやな｡
It seems that this is the end.
おとなしく わしら ﾀﾞｲﾔﾓﾝﾄﾞﾊﾟﾌｭｰﾑとｺﾗﾎﾞってもらおか｡
Will you voluntarily cooperate with Diamond Perfume, Crapxile?
ﾉｸﾞｿｴﾙ｡
もう こんな醜い争いは やめようや｡
Let us cease this unsightly battle.
みんな ﾀﾞｲﾔﾓﾝﾄﾞﾊﾟﾌｭｰﾑ みんな１位で それでええやないか｡
We can all be in Diamond Perfume. Everybody in 1st place.
What's wrong with that?
ふざけんな!! なんだ？ そのｴｾ人類補完計画！
Don't be ridiculous!
What's with the pseudo Human Instrumentality Project?!
[Note: From the Anime Evangelion]
碇司令は認めても ｵﾚは認めねえ！
Commander Ikari may accept it, but I won't!
そんなんで１位とって 意味あるんですか？
Is there any point to achieving 1st place in such a manner?!
投票を ﾑﾀﾞにするつもりですか!!
Do you intend to make all those votes count for nothing?!
ぶっちゃけ わしも 人気投票なんぞ興味はないで｡
To be frank, I don't give a damn about a popularity poll.
せやかて 納得してないﾔﾂらもおる｡
But there are people who can't accept the results.
こうするのが いちばん 手っとり早いやろ？
This is the best solution, right?
(さっちゃん)ちょ お待ち｡
Hold it right there.
Hold it right there. What?
ちょ お待ち… えっ？ 今 なんつった？ ﾂｯｷｰ｡
What did you just say, Tsukky?
Well, I don't give a damn about the popularity poll anymore,
いや… もう人気投票なんて どうでもええから➡
さっさと終わらそうて｡
so let's get this over with.
(さっちゃん)あんさ ﾂｯｷｰ… ずっと思っててんけどさ➡
Y'know...
Tsukky, I've been thinking...
なんか ﾂｯｷｰ ずるくない？ (月詠)うん？
Aren't you being a little unfair, Tsukky?
Hmm?
(さっちゃん)なんか ﾂｯｷｰだけ ずっと一線引いたとこにおるやん｡
You seem to be the only one separating yourself, Tsukky.
私は興味ないけど みんなが 言うから来ちゃいましたみたいな｡
The whole "I don't care, but I came because everyone else told me to."
何？ そのｽﾀﾝｽ｡ 自分だけ汚れんと➡
What's with the facade?
You're going to be the only one who doesn't get her hands dirty? Who stays clean this time?
自分だけ きれいなまんまで 乗り切るつもりなん？ 今回｡
せやかて 興味ないもんは 興味…｡
Well, I really don't care...
はい はい！ かっこいいよね｡
Yes, yes. You're so cool.
興味ないのに なんか 10位 とっちゃいましたみたいな｡
The whole, "I placed 10th even though I don't care."
すごいよね～ そのへんの余裕も 10位たるゆえんなんだろうね～｡
Amazing, right?
You're probably so calm because you're 10th.
か～っ!! やっぱ 10位は違うわ！
It's different when you're 10th!
なんか… 仲間割れ 始まっちゃいましたけど｡
What? Speak up if you have a problem.
They seem to be fighting among themselves...
That aloof attitude of yours really pisses me off!
えっ？ 何？ これ… どこ？ ここ… 女子高？
What? What is this?
Where are we?
Be more serious!
An all-girls boarding school?
ふざけんじゃないわよ!!
Don't give me that crap!
We're doing our best to live with our hands dirty!
私たちは 汚れながらも 必死に生きてんの！
みんな 泥ん中 必死に はいずって➡
We're wading through the mud as we try to become something better!
ちょっとでも ﾏｼなもんになろうとしてんの！
きれいなままじゃ 生きられないの！ この世の中!!
You can't survive in this world by being clean!
別に きれいだ 汚いだのではなく 興味がないと言ってるんじゃ！
I never said anything about being clean or dirty.
I'm simply not interested!
Cut it out!
いい加減にしろよ！ ｶﾏﾄﾄぶりやがって！ ｸｿｱﾏ!!
Damn bitch pretending to be all innocent!
ﾎﾝﾄは １位になりたいって言えよ｡ 言え！ こら!!
Say that you really want to be 1st!
Say it!
["Little girls should go home and watch "Ainori" or something!!"]
[Note: A Japanese reality show.]
何？ あれ… 誰？ あれ…｡ 今の おっさんたち…｡
What was that?
Who were those old men?
た… 立ってましたよね？
H-He was standing, right?
今 立って歩いてましたよね？
He was walking on two legs, right?
Th-They headed towards where Sis and everybody else is...
ああ… 姉上たちのほう 行ったけど…｡
(近藤)ば… ばけもの!! (桂)ｻﾞﾍﾞｽ！ 何が…｡
M-Monsters!
Elizabeth!
What are you... Abeshi!
なんか… いや なんも聞こえない｡ なんも聞こえないよ ﾎﾞｸは…｡
Something's...
No, I don't hear anything.
I can't hear a thing.
知りません｡ ﾎﾞｸは 何も知りませんよ…｡
I know nothing. Nothing at all.
銀さん！
Gin-san!
A-Above your head!
あっ… 頭の上!!
なっ… なんだ これ!!
Wh-What is this?!
順位が… みるみる 順位が下がってゆく！
My ranking...
My ranking is dropping like a rock!
どういうことだ？ ｵﾚは何も やらかしてねえぞ！
What's going on?!
I didn't do anything!
いったい 何が起きてる!?
What's happening?!
(長谷川)お… 遅かったか…｡
W-We're too late...
長谷川さん!!
Hasegawa-san!
ｵﾚたちは… 争いすぎたのさ｡
We spent too much time fighting...
We let our greed get the better of us, wanting to rank higher than others.
人より上に 誰より上にと 己の欲望をさらけ出し➡
他人を蹴落とす醜い争いを ３週にもわたって繰り広げてきた｡
We displayed our ugly conflict for the past three weeks.
The viewers, the gods punished us for our sins.
そんな罪深い人間たちを見て➡
視聴者が… 神が天罰を下されたんだ｡
あ… 争いを… 今すぐやめるんだ｡
Y-You must stop this fight now!
ﾔ… ﾔﾂの思うとおりに させるんじゃねえ!!
D-Don't let him have his way!
ﾔﾂ？
Him?
神は… ﾔﾂの手によって 人為的に呼び出されたんだ｡
He was the one who used unnatural methods to summon the gods!
(長谷川)ｵﾚを貶め ﾃﾒｴらが 争う火種をまいたのも ﾔﾂの仕業｡
He was the one who took me down and set your fight in motion.
いや… 今 この世界で 起こるﾊﾞｶ騒ぎ自体➡
No, he was the one who caused the mess across this entire world.
ﾔﾂが引き起こしたことなんだ｡
原点に帰れ｡ なぜ こんな騒ぎが起こったのか｡
Return to the beginning...
Why was there such an uproar?
いったい 始まりは なんだったのか｡
What started all of this?
Head to the roof...
屋上へ… このﾊﾞｶ騒ぎを終わらせるんだ｡
To end this stupid mess!
(山崎)遅かったじゃないか｡
You're late.
ｷﾐたちにも この景色を 見てもらおうと思って➡
I've been waiting here to show you this sight.
ずっと待ってたんだ｡
ほら ごらん｡
Look.
They're all desperately fighting for their own rank.
みんな あんなに必死に 順位を奪いあって➡
ﾌﾌﾌｯ おかしいだろ｡
Isn't that funny?
順位を上げるつもりが 醜態をさらして どん底さ｡
Their attempts to raise their ranking do nothing but make them look worse.
人間なんて ひと皮むけば みんなそうだ｡
All humans are the same on the inside.
１位にふさわしい人間なんて どこにもいやしない｡
Nobody is suitable to be 1st.
みんな薄汚いｳｼﾞ虫にすぎない｡
We're all dirty maggots.
Yamazaki-san...
山崎さん すべて➡
So this was all your doing...
あなたの 仕業だったんですね｡
襲撃された体を装い➡
You pretended that you were attacked
自ら順位を引き下げ 人気順位を変動させることで➡
to drag your own rank down and cause an uproar in the rankings,
みんなの欲望を刺激し 騒ぎを起こさせ➡
to spark everybody's greed and create a mess
that triggered the rage of the gods...
神の怒りに触れさせる｡
You couldn't become 1st.
自分は １位なんてなれない｡
なる努力もしない｡
You didn't try to become 1st.
Instead, you brought everyone else down to your level.
代わりに みんなを 自分のところまで引きずり下ろす｡
山崎さん こんなことやって満足ですか？
Yamazaki-san...
Are you satisfied now?
花を飾りつけるには 土台となる土がいる｡
Flowers need a foundation of dirt.
だが 花は踏み台の➡
But the flowers never try to understand how the dirt feels...
土の気持など知ろうともしない｡
当たり前のように咲いてるんだ｡
They bloom without a care...
Despite the fact that they could never bloom without dirt...
土がなければ 咲くこともできないのに｡
思い知らせてやりたかった｡ 土の気持を…｡
I wanted to let them know how the dirt feels...
Our true worth...
ｵﾚたちのありがたみを｡
殴りたければ 殴るがいい｡
Punch me if you want.
ただし ｷﾐの順位は さらに下がるぞ｡
But your ranking will only drop further.
もはや神は 醜い争いに 飽き飽きしている｡
The gods have grown tired of this ugly battle!
その怒り 買う度胸があるなら やってみるがいい！
Invite their rage if you'd like!
上等だ！ 殴ったらぁ！
That's fine!
I'll smack you good!
Toying with people like that!
さんざん人をもてあそびやがって ﾅﾒてんじゃねえぞ！
Don't look down on us!
し…｡ 銀さんの手は 汚させませんよ｡
Shi-
Gin-san, I won't let you dirty your hands.
ﾎﾞｸは ﾎﾞｸの花のためなら➡
I'm...
Happy to be the dirt for my flower!
喜んで どん底で土になる！
山崎さん 確かにﾎﾞｸらの存在は 誰にも気づかれないかもしれない｡
Yamazaki-san, it's true that people like us are never noticed.
ﾎﾞｸらの気持なんて みんな知ろうともしないでしょう｡
Nobody tries to understand how we feel.
でも それでいいんです｡
But that's fine.
We just have to be there like it's the most natural thing in the world.
ただ当たり前のように そこにある｡
That's what dirt does.
それが土でしょう｡
Yamazaki-san, that was the spirit of being the stepping stone that you taught me about!
それが山崎さん あなたの教えてくれた➡
踏み台魂でしょ！
And are you really okay with that?
それで ｷﾐは本当にいいのか？
Spending the rest of your life downtrodden without anyone noticing...
このまま誰にも知られないで 踏みつけられ続ける一生…｡
Don't say that nobody notices us...
誰も知らないなんて 言わないでください…｡
I... I alone know!
ﾎﾞ… ﾎﾞｸは ﾎﾞｸだけは知ってます！
山崎さんだけは 知ってくれています！
Yamazaki-san alone knows!
それで十分じゃないですか！
Isn't that enough?!
それ以上 何がいるんですか!!
What more do you need?!
Sh-Shinpachi-kun...
し… 新八君…｡
ﾃﾒｴらだけじゃねえよ｡
You aren't the only ones.
E-Everyone...
み… みんな！
上｡ 上見てみろ｡
Up. Look up.
どうやら神さんも 見ててくれたようだぜ｡
It seems that the gods were also watching.
これって…｡
This is...
ｵﾚたちが…｡
We're...
あぁ!?
Okay!
よし！ 今日くらいは➡
Hooray! Hooray!
We'll be your stepping stones for today!
ｵﾚたちが 踏み台になってやろうぜ！
Hooray! Hooray!
(みんな)ﾜｯｼｮｲ！ ﾜｯｼｮｲ！
Zaki!
(近藤)ｻﾞｷ！ 人知れず いっつも支えてくれて➡
Thanks for supporting us when we didn't know it!
ありがとうな！
Come on, you two!
ほら ２人とも！ 踏み台１位おめでとう！
Congratulations on being 1st place stepping stones!
(みんな)ﾜｯｼｮｲ！ ﾜｯｼｮｲ！
Yamazaki-san!
《山崎さん！》
Shinpachi-kun!
《新八君…》
Everybody understands...
《２人:わかってくれた｡
みんな！ みんな！ わかっ…》
Everybody underst...
Dirt should return to the dirt.
土は土に還るがいい｡
Why are you two in 1st?
なんでﾃﾒｴらが１位なんだよ｡
(土方)すっかり踊らされたぜ｡ ﾅﾒやがって ﾁｸｼｮｳ！
You had us fooled, damn punks.
《２人:みんなに もう一度 聞いてもいいかな？
Allow us to ask one more time...
人気投票って… 必要ですか？》
Are popularity polls...
...really necessary?
(２人)あぁ～!!
[The End]
[The Top 100 Characters]
[Preview]
What?
A request to get rid of a wasps' nest?
Hell, when was the last time we had an actual odd job?
And so next time:
"The Whole Peeing on a Bee Sting Is a Myth. You'll Get Germs, So Don't Do It!!"
[Next week is a two parter. Things kick off in the Shinsengumi with "Hometowns and boobs are meant to be far away."]
[Hijikata, the mayonnaise lover's dream comes true as he tours a mayo factory.]
[See you next time.]