(銀時)皆様 今年も 『銀魂』を…｡
(神楽)ますます がんばっていきますので｡
なんだ これ…｡
ﾃﾚﾋﾞから離れて観てください｡
(３人)観るときは 部屋を明るくして➡
(３人)あけまして おめでとうございます｡
(新八)本年は ｺﾞｰﾙﾃﾞﾝｳｲｰｸに 劇場公開も控え｡
Happy New Year!
With our movie coming up during Golden Week this year...
[Note: Scheduled for a 4/24 release date in Japan.]
We'll be working even harder!
So when you watch Gintama this year...
Make sure the room is well-lit and don't sit too close to the TV!
What is this?
Have you ever seen cats mate?
猫の交尾って見たことあるか？
小さい頃 何も知らずに➡
When I was little, I innocently told Sis to "carry me like the cats are doing"
猫が猫おんぶしてる あれやって って姉上に言ったら➡
which made for a traumatizing, awkward moment.
変な空気になったﾄﾗｳﾏがあります｡
Sounds more puma than trauma.
ﾄﾗｳﾏっていうか ﾈｺｳﾏだな そりゃ｡
(神楽)いや ｳﾏｼｶｱﾙ｡
Nah, I'd say margay.
So did you know?
んでよ 知ってる？ ｵｽ猫のｱｿｺには ﾄｹﾞ生えてんだぜ ﾄｹﾞ｡
Male cats have a thorn down there. A thorn.
Man, that's crazy stuff.
ったく たまんねえよな｡
Seriously, if I'm reincarnated, I'd better not be a cat.
ﾎﾝﾄ 生まれ変わっても猫だけには なりたくねえよな｡
どうせﾄｹﾞなくても 立ちｼｮﾝするしか使い道ないｱﾙ｡
Like you have any other use for it besides peeing while standing.
んっ… あれ？
Huh?
猫たちが… 逃げていく！ あっ！
The cats are running away...
あれは！ ちぎれた両耳 そして あの巨体！
That's...
Ragged ears...
And its size...
ﾎｳｲﾁです！ かぶき 町のﾎﾞｽ猫 ﾎｳｲﾁ！
Hoichi!
The boss cat of Kabukicho, Hoichi!
Our target has arrived!
ﾀｰｹﾞｯﾄが来ましたよ！
Don't rush me...!
せかすなって… あっ！
Look, you've made me get it on my hands...
ほら お前のせいで 手にかかった…｡
Pachi-boy, it's going for bait.
ぱっつぁん ｴｻに食いついたｱﾙ｡
うん？ (新八/神楽)ふんなぁ～！
この性悪猫がぁ～!!
Damn misbehaving cat!
んがぁ～!! やられた～！
Ah! It got us!
銀さん！ 早くﾎｳｲﾁを追ってください！
Gin-san! Hurry after Hoichi!
聞いてます!? 銀さん！
Can you hear me?!
Gin-san!
Hey, get a hold of yourself.
おい しっかりしろよ｡ 見かけねえﾂﾗだな｡
A new face, huh?
Why are cats talking?
《なんで猫がしゃべってんだ？ 夢か？ こりゃ｡
Am I dreaming?
頭がｸﾗｸﾗする…》
I'm all dizzy.
If you don't feel well, get a drink of water.
気分が悪いなら 水でも飲んでこいよ｡
I'll do that.
そうさせてもらうわ｡ おい どこにあるんだ？ 水｡
Hey, where's the water?
あそこにあんだろう｡ あん？
Right over there.
Huh?
お前 ﾅﾒてんじゃねえぞ｡
Are you toying with me?
こんな汚ねぇ水 ﾃﾒｴら野良と一緒にすんじゃ…｡
Drink that dirty water?
Don't assume I'm like you strays...
えっ？
Huh?
What is this...?
《何これ…》 せっかく教えてやったのに｡
Only trying to help.
態度わりぃな｡ なんだ ｱｲﾂ…｡
Some attitude.
What's with him?
Why do I have to be such an ugly cat?!
《なに このﾌﾞｻｲｸな猫!!》
["When Looking for Something, Try Using its Perspective."]
That's odd. Where did Gin-san go?
おかしいな｡ どこ 行っちゃったんだろう 銀さん｡
どうせ どっかで 銀玉なり金玉なり転がしてるｱﾙ｡
He's probably off balling or ballsing.
You're still chasing that cat?
(お登勢)ｱﾝﾀら まだ あの猫 追ってるのかい？
(ｷｬｻﾘﾝ)猫１匹 捕まえられないなんて➡
You can't even catch a cat?
ﾍﾟｯﾄﾎﾞﾄﾙにも劣る役立たずですね｡
That makes you less useful than a plastic bottle.
んじゃ わりゃ！ ﾍﾟｯﾄﾎﾞﾄﾙが どれだけ役に立つか➡
What was that?!
Want me to tell you how useful plastic bottles can be, you damn cat burglar?!
教えてやろうか ﾄﾞﾛﾎﾞｰ猫が！
違う！ 使い方 違う！
That's wrong! You're using it wrong!
Still, the cats in this town have a tendency to misbehave.
にしても この街の猫は どうにも性悪が多すぎます｡
最近は 数も増えて ﾍﾟｯﾄが ｹｶﾞさせられたとか➡
They've been growing in numbers, and I've heard about pets being injured,
ｲﾝｺが食べられちゃったとか 魚を盗まれたとか…｡
parrots being eaten, and fish being stolen.
So neighborhood association people are taking steps to prevent any more strays...
それで町内会の人が これ以上 野良を増やさないようにと…｡
んっ！
Hand over your balls.
ｷﾝﾀﾏよこせ！
(お登勢)去勢？ はい｡
Neutering?
Yes.
かぶき町の野良猫を捕まえて➡
They're catching strays in Kabukicho and neutering them.
去勢手術を施してるようなんです｡
でも あのﾎｳｲﾁだけは➡
But the members aren't able to handle Hoichi.
町内会の人たちじゃ 手に負えないらしくて…｡
ったく！ ﾃﾒｴの都合で 猫捨てて野良にしといて！
Sheesh, you were the ones who left the cats to become strays.
いっそ人間のﾀﾏ 抜いたほうが➡
The world would be better off if we started neutering humans.
よっぽど世のために なるってもんだ｡
せめて ﾎﾞｸが１回使うまでは➡
Could you hold off on the Human Memberality Project until I've actually gotten to use mine?
その人類股間計画 待ってもらえませんか？
しかし あれは ほっとくわけにはいかないですよ｡
But we can't ignore it.
かぶき町の野良猫の 頂点に君臨する野良王ﾎｳｲﾁ｡
The king of Kabukicho strays, Hoichi.
Violent and wily...
凶暴かつ狡猾で 大型犬を噛み殺し➡
I've heard that it's bitten large dogs to death
子供に大ｹｶﾞさせたなんてｳﾜｻも｡
and injured children...
その目で見たのかい？
Did you see it happen?
いや… 今日のｱｲﾂの動きを見て 確信しました｡
No, but I'm sure of it after seeing how he moved today.
そうかねぇ｡
You sure about that?
あたしゃ ｱｲﾂは みんなが言うほど➡
I don't think he's as bad as everyone makes him out to be.
悪いﾔﾂじゃないと思うんだけどね｡
いたぞ！ この性悪猫が！
There it is!
Damn misbehaving cat!
おとなしく ﾀﾏよこせ！ ふぎゃ～!!
Hand over your balls!
うおっ！
ﾎ… ﾎｳｲﾁじゃ～!!
I-it's Hoichi!
Whatcha doing, kid?
(ﾎｳｲﾁ)何やってんだ 小僧｡ ﾀﾏ抜かれてえのか｡
You wanna lose your balls?
待ちやがれ！
Wait up!
ﾊｧﾊｧ…｡
ﾃﾒｴ 流れもんか？ ﾌﾆｬ？
You're a vagabond?
小僧 ここのﾙｰﾙを教えてやる｡
Kid, I'll tell you the rules here.
ここには いい猫なんかいねえ｡
There are no good cats here.
助けを求めて 応えてくれるﾔﾂなんていやしねえ｡
Ask for help and nobody will even budge.
いや でもｱﾝﾀ助けてくれたじゃん｡
But you saved me.
ﾀﾏを抜かれたﾔﾂは 皆腑抜けになっちまう｡
Every cat that's lost its balls becomes soft.
そんなﾔﾂとやりあっても つまんねえだろ｡
It wouldn't be any fun to fight a weakling!
Hoichi's beating up on another newbie.
また ﾎｳｲﾁの新人いびりか｡
あそこで骨見せねえと この街 おん出されちまう｡
If he doesn't put up a fight, he'll be chased out of town.
あの流れもん 残れるかね｡
I wonder if the vagabond will be able to stay.
何だ その動き 死にてえのか？ 待て！ ｵﾚ猫になったばっかで➡
What kinda moves were those?
You wanna die?
Wait! I was just turned into a cat!
ｼﾝｸﾛ率がまだ全然ｺﾝﾄﾛｰﾙ できてねえんだってばよ！
My synchronization ratio isn't enough to control it, believe it!
ﾃﾒｴみてえな甘ちゃんは この街じゃ生きてけねえんだ｡
A pussy like you can't survive in this town!
いねや！ うわ～っ！
Scram!
た 立ってる！
H-He's standing!
２本足で立ってるよ ｱｲﾂ！
He's standing upright!
この街のﾙｰﾙを教えてやるだ？
Teach me the rules of this town?
ｵﾚは この街に住んでた歴史も 猫まんま食った歴史も➡
My history in this town...
And my history of eating left over food...
ﾃﾒｴの何倍もあらあ！
...dwarfs yours!
ﾃﾒｴ 名前は？
What's your name?
坂田銀時｡
Gintoki Sakata...
長えな 銀でいいだろ｡
Too long.
Gin will do.
せいぜい ﾀﾏ抜かれねえように気をつけな｡
Make sure you don't get your balls taken.
お おい ちょっと待っ…｡ すげえ ｵﾒｴすげえよ！
H-Hey!
Hold on...
Amazing! You're amazing!
ｻﾞﾏｧねえぜ ﾎｳｲﾁの野郎｡
That made Hoichi look bad!
銀 お前だったらﾎｳｲﾁ倒して ﾎﾞｽの座につくのも夢じゃねえ！
Gin, you have a chance of defeating Hoichi and taking over as boss!
ﾔﾂの圧政には もう うんざりしてんだ｡
We're sick of his oppression!
何 勝手に盛りあがってんだ！
Why are you all celebrating?!
やめろ 何してんだ！ ｹﾂのﾆｵｲをかぐな！
Stop it!
What are you doing?!
Don't sniff my ass!
えっ 何あれ｡ 何 腕組んでる｡
Huh? What's that?
What? Arms crossed?
ｽﾞﾊﾞﾘ聞く｡ ｷｻﾏ 猫じゃないだろ｡
I'll get to the point.
You aren't a cat, are you?
二足歩行してるﾔﾂに 言われたくねえんだよ！
I don't wanna hear that from someone walking on two legs!
ここで何かしたか？
Did you do something here?
えっ？ 何かしたら何だっつうんだよ｡
Huh?
What if I did?
ここの地主は 野良猫にもｴｻをくれる➡
The owner of this property is a kind person who feeds the stray cats.
大変 面倒見のいい人でな｡
The cats gather here for that reason.
こうして猫が集まるのも そのｴｻを求めてのことだ｡
This grave was made by the kind owner in memory of the strays who have died.
そしてこれは 死して 弔うものなき野良猫たちを➡
心優しい地主が 弔ってくれた墓なのだ｡
この土の下には 何百もの猫の魂が眠っている｡
Hundreds of cat souls rest beneath this ground.
もう一度聞く｡ ここで何かしたか？
I'll ask you again.
Did you do something?
立ちｼｮﾝした｡
I took a piss...
ﾊｧ…｡ おい ｵﾚが こんなんになっちまったのは➡
Hey! So I ended up like this because of a cat curse?!
猫の呪いだとでも？ ありえねえ そんなの｡
That's impossible!
すでにありえないことが ｵﾚたちの身に起きてるだろ｡
The impossible has already happened to us.
ｵﾚたち？ まさか お前もここで立ちｼｮﾝした？
Us?
Don't tell me that you also took a piss here.
立ちｼｮﾝじゃない｡
Not a piss, a dump.
(桂)ｳﾝｺだ｡
You're Zura?!
お前 ﾂﾞﾗか！ こんなところで野ｸﾞｿしたの お前｡
You took a dump out here?!
少しは自分のｲﾒｰｼﾞを考えろよ！
Could you consider the image you're supposed to have?!
すっげえな お前｡ 怖いものなしだな！
Seriously, man. You have no fear.
武士たるもの いついかなる場所においても➡
A warrior must be prepared to do his business in any place at any time.
用を足せる気構えを 持っておらねばならぬ｡
墓の上でｳﾝｺするﾔﾂは 武士失格だろ！
Anyone who takes a dump on a grave can't be considered a warrior!
I was drawn in by the sweet scent of paws, but I didn't expect a trap...
肉球のこうばしい香りに 誘われて来てみれば➡
まさかこんな罠が｡ お前が勝手にもよおしただけだろ｡
You brought this on yourself!
But as a result, I was able to evade the Shinsengumi's pursuit.
だが おかげで真選組の 追撃をかわすこともできた｡
そこは運がよかった｡ ｳﾝｺだけに｡
A fortunate turn of events, or as they say, shit happens.
おい 誰かｺｲﾂのｹﾂの穴に ﾀﾞｲﾅﾏｲﾄぶち込んでくれ！
Hey! Someone shove a stick of dynamite up his ass!
(近藤)うぅ…｡
Why did this happen?!
なんで こんなことに なっちまったんだ？
I should have ignored Katsura!
桂なんて ほっときゃよかった｡
こんな姿じゃ お妙さんも ﾄｼも 総悟も➡
If I look like this, Otae-san and Toshi and Sogo
won't realize it's me!
気づいてくれねえ！ なんで ｺﾞﾘﾗだ!?
Why a gorilla?!
(桂)近藤 ｷｻﾏも たたりをもらっていたとは…｡
Kondo, you were also cursed?
なに!? ｵﾚが わかるのか？ その声は まさか！
What?! You can recognize me?!
That voice...!
よかった～！ 仲間がいたんだな｡ もう 桂でもいいや！
I'm so glad to have a buddy!
I don't care if you're Katsura!
そうか お前らも 謎のｺﾞﾘﾗに 噛まれて…｡ 違うよ それ！
I see!
You were also bitten by a weird gorilla...
No! You're the only one who was involved in a Spider-Man-esque incident!
お前だけ ｽﾊﾟｲﾀﾞｰﾏﾝ的な別件に 巻き込まれてるよ！
面倒見のいい地主のことだ｡ おそらく 野ｺﾞﾘﾗもここに…｡
The owner's a kind person.
There's probably a stray gorilla around...
野ｺﾞﾘﾗって何？ 見たことないんですけど！
What the hell is a stray gorilla?! I've never seen one before!
どうすんだ？ どうすれば 元に戻んだよ！
What do we do?
How do we return to normal?!
よりにもよって ｸｿの役にも立たねえ➡
And I had to be stuck with these useless idiots!
ﾊﾞｶばっかり 集まりやがって！
墓を荒らして たたられたんだ｡ 元に戻せば…｡
We were cursed for disturbing the grave. If we restore it...
戻すって １回 垂れたｳﾝｺ また ｹﾂに戻すのか!?
Restore it?
What, are you going to shove your own dump back in there?!
(桂)とりあえず 埋めたｳﾝｺを掘り起こそう｡
For now, let's dig up the dump I buried.
ふざけんな！ お前のｳﾝｺだろ｡ お前の責任で取れ!!
Screw that!
It's your own dump!
You take responsibility!
ﾌﾝ！ これで ｵﾚが元に戻っても 絶対 ｷｻﾏら 助けてやらんからな｡
If I return to normal, I won't give you any help.
ｳｴｯ！ 気持悪くなってきた…｡
I feel sick...
う～ん…｡
何 後乗せしてんだ!!
Why are you adding more?!
し… しまった！ つい 猫の習性で…｡
Sh-Shoot!
My feline instincts...
まさか ここまで 猫とのｼﾝｸﾛ率が 上がっていたﾆｬﾝて！
I didn't expect my cat synchronization ratio to rise meow.
ﾆｬﾝてじゃねえだろ!!
Don't meow!
It appears that my transformation into a cat is advancing meow.
どうﾆｬら 徐々に 猫化が進行してるﾆｬﾝ｡
おい やめろ！ そのﾆｬﾝって…｡ 腹立つから｡ かわいくねえから｡
Hey, stop it.
That meow really pisses me off! It isn't cute!
しかたのないﾔﾂらだ｡ ここは ｵﾚが骨を折ろう｡
You're a hopeless bunch.
I'll handle this.
ｳﾎｯ！
ﾌｨﾘﾋﾟﾝ産ﾊﾞﾅﾅと台湾ﾊﾞﾅﾅ どっちがいい？
Philippines bananas and Taiwan bananas!
Which do you want?!
Make up your mind by the time I return!
帰ってくるまでに決めておけよ！ ｳﾎﾎﾎﾎｯ!!
It doesn't look like he's ever turning back.
ｱｲﾂ… もう 元に戻れそうにねえな｡
ほらほら おいで 猫ちゃんたち｡ お腹いっぱい 食べなさい｡
There now.
Come here, kitties.
Eat your fill.
ん？ どうちたの？ 眠くなってきた？
What's wrong?
Are you sleepy?
はい ねんね ねんね…｡
There, sleep tight.
We appreciate your cooperation.
いや ご協力 ありがとうございます｡
さすが なつき方が違いますよ｡
They really take to you.
ちょっと かわいそうだけど➡
I feel sorry for them, but this is for their own safety.
この子たちが 安全に 生きていくためですものね｡
Please be gentle with them.
優しく扱ってあげてくださいね｡
大丈夫です｡ 去勢したら ちゃんと 野に帰すんで｡
Don't worry.
We'll release them once they're neutered.
So they successfully brought the owner to their side...
地主さんも丸め込まれたか｡
ｴｻに薬を仕込むなど…｡ なんて 卑劣な生き物なんだ 人間め!!
Drugging our food...
Damn cowardly humans...
お前も人間だろ｡
You're also a human.
I'll never trust humans again!
(近藤)もう 人間なんて信用しねえ！
Humans around the world are after our bananas!
世界中の人間が ｵﾚたちのﾊﾞﾅﾅを狙ってるんだ！
やられる前に 人間どものﾊﾞﾅﾅを かり尽してやるんだ！
I'll hunt their bananas first, then!
Nobody's after your dirty banana!
お前の汚いﾊﾞﾅﾅなんて 誰も狙ってねえよ！
Man...
ったく… 猫の玉なんて集めて➡
Why are they collecting cat balls?
神龍でも呼び出すつもりか？ ｱｲﾂらよ！
Are they trying to summon Shenlong or something?
[Note: The wish-granting dragon from the manga Dragon Ball.]
もう まる１日 何も食ってねえよ｡ ｼｯﾎﾟが ﾌﾗﾝｸﾌﾙﾄに見えてきたよ｡
I haven't had anything to eat for a day.
My tail is starting to look like a frankfurter.
We'll have to forget about returning to normal for now and focus on securing food meow.
(桂)元に戻るのは置いておいて➡
とりあえずは 食料の確保が先決なようだﾆｬﾝ｡
おい！ そのﾆｬﾝって やめろっつってんだろ！
Hey, I told you to stop meowing.
How are we supposed to secure food baboo?
確保って いったいどうするｺﾞﾘか？ おい！ いいかげんにしろよ｡
Hey, cut that out already.
狩りでもして ﾈｽﾞﾐでも捕まえるか➡
Hunt down some mice
人間に こびへつらい ｴｻをちょうだいするかだﾆｬﾝ｡
or beg humans for food meow.
じょ… 冗談じゃないｺﾞﾘ！ そんなﾏﾈ 侍ができるか！
Th-That's not funny baboo!
How could a samurai behave like that?!
家畜にも劣るくらいなら 死んだほうがましｺﾞﾘ！
I'd rather die than be domesticated baboo!
(ﾎｳｲﾁ)ならば 死ねばいい｡ ﾎ… ﾎｳｲﾁ！
Then die.
Ho-Hoichi!
くだらねえﾌﾟﾗｲﾄﾞなんざ➡
Your pride won't do you any good when you're trying to make it in this place.
ここで生きていくには ｸｿの役にも立ちゃしねえ｡
The only pride you need here is the pride to survive.
ここで必要なのは 生きるﾌﾟﾗｲﾄﾞだけだ｡
生きる度胸があるﾔﾂは ｵﾚについてこい｡
If you have the guts to live, follow me.
Hey, where are you going?
おい！ どこ 行くんだ？
こんな所 うろついて 大丈夫なのか？
Is it safe to wander around here?
狩りのしかたでも 教えてくれるつもりでは？
Does he intend to teach us how to hunt?
なんで んなﾏﾈ ｱｲﾂが…｡
Why would he do that?
猫になるや いきなり 襲いかかってきた 凶暴なﾔﾂだぞ｡
He's a violent bastard that attacked me the second I turned into a cat.
うむ… あの洗礼なら ｵﾚも受けたが どうにも気になる｡
I received the same treatment, but something about it bothered me.
本気ではなかった気がする｡
I don't believe he was entirely serious.
現に あの新人いびり… 新入りは 皆 受けるらしいが➡
Fact is, every newbie has been attacked,
今まで 深手を負った者は おらんらしい｡
but none have been seriously injured.
逃げずに立ち向かう姿勢を 見せるやいなや 手を止めるとか｡
He stops once you've shown you're brave enough to stand firm...
Ooh! It's a parade of cats!
あ！ 猫が行列作って 歩いてる！
(おりょう)あら ﾎｳｲﾁじゃない｡ なに？ 友達連れて➡
Oh? Why if it isn't Hoichi?
What? Are you going somewhere with your friends?
どっか おでかけ？ おりょう 知ってるの？
Oryo, you know him?
よく 店に ｴｻねだりにくる 野良よ｡
It's a stray that often comes here for food.
な… なんだ ｱｲﾂ！ ﾓﾃﾓﾃじゃねえか！
Wh-What the hell?!
They love him?!
あんな ｵｯｻﾝなのに！ あんな ﾌﾞｯｻｲｸなのに！
When he's old?!
When he's so ugly?!
いいか ﾃﾒｴら｡ ｴｻは ただ闇雲に➡
Listen up, fellas.
You have to be selective when begging for food.
誰にでも ねだればいい というもんじゃねえ｡
若い女は 実に いいﾀｰｹﾞｯﾄだ｡
Young girls make great targets.
ｺｲﾂらは ｶﾜｲｲもんが好きなうえに➡
They gush over anything cute,
動物に向かって ｶﾜｲｲを連呼する自分を➡
and they think of themselves as cute when they fawn over animals.
ｶﾜｲｲと思ってる連中が多い｡
他には 寂しがりやの一人もんの若人｡
Lonely-looking young men will also work.
好奇心の強い ﾊﾅﾀﾚのｶﾞｷなども 狙い目だ｡
As well as curious, snot-nosed kids.
ﾀｰｹﾞｯﾄを見つけたら とにかく 媚びろ｡
Once you find a target, suck up.
かわいさを演出するんだ｡
Act cute.
Got it?
いいか？ 大事なのは仕草だ｡ ﾌﾞｻｶﾜｲｲを目指せ！
It's all in how you act.
Aim for the ugly-cute.
Ugly cute?!
ﾌﾞｻｶﾜｲｲ!?
Such a mythical style actually exists in the animal world?!
そんな 夢のようなｽﾀｲﾙが 動物界には存在するのか！
やる！ ｵﾚ やってみる！ ｵﾚの本当の居場所は➡
I'll do it! I'll give it a shot!
This may be where I truly belong!
ここなのかもしれん！
どうだ!? ﾌﾞｻｶﾜｲｲ？ ｷﾓｶﾜｲｲ？
Well?
Ugly-cute? Gross-cute?
ﾌﾞｻｷﾓいな｡ ﾀﾞﾒだ お前は｡ ﾌﾞｻｲｸの成分が強すぎる！
Ugly-gross.
You have no chance.
Your ugly factor is too strong.
半端にやっても 悪化するだけだ｡ 腹立つだけだ｡
Any half-assed measures will only make it worse.
Only piss people off.
(近藤)んだ ｺﾗｧ！ ｺﾞﾘﾗ ﾅﾒんなよ！
What was that?!
Don't mess with gorillas!
ｺﾞﾘﾗの学名 知ってるか？ ｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｺﾞﾘﾗだぞ！
Do you know the gorilla's scientific name?!
It's "Gorilla gorilla gorilla"!
どこまでいっても ｺﾞﾘﾗなんだよ！ 輪廻転生 ｺﾞﾘﾗなんだよ！
It's gorilla all the way!
A reincarnation ring of gorilla!
助けてください！ (桂)落ち着け ｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｺﾞﾘﾗ！
Please help me!
Calm down, Gorilla gorilla gorilla.
単独でいっても 各個撃破されるのが ｵﾁだ｡
We'll be shot down if we act individually.
志村動物園を知っているか｡
Have you heard of the show "Shimura Zoo"?
ﾁﾝﾊﾟﾝｼﾞｰが 犬を連れて歩いているだけで➡
The one with a chimpanzee walking a dog around.
人気者になっている あれの ｺﾞﾘﾗ･猫版｡
We'll go with the gorilla-cat version.
ｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｼﾑﾗ･ｹﾞﾘﾗ作戦だ｡ (近藤)なるほど！
Operation Gorilla Shimura Guerrilla.
I see!
(桂)じゃあ すぐに 志村けんを呼んでくるんだ｡
Then call Ken Shimura here at once!
[Note: Veteran Japanese Comedian, also the host of "Shimura Zoo".]
(近藤)わかった！ 東村山に行ってくる！
Got it! I'm off to Higashimurayama!
[Note: Ken Shimura once covered a song based on the city of Higashimurayama.]
おい！ 志村 関係ねぇだろ！ (桂)あの ｺﾝﾄの帝王 志村が➡
Hey! This has nothing to do with that Shimura!
The audience will be moved when they see Shimura, Emperor of the Skit, laugh and cry!
泣いたり 笑ったりするところに 視聴者が共感するのだろうが！
それ ただの ｼﾑﾗ･ﾅﾐﾀﾞ･ﾀﾞｯﾌﾝﾀﾞ作戦じゃねえか！
That would be Operation Shimura Lachryma Ooh-La-La!
Hey, here comes the next sucker.
おい 次のｶﾓが来たぞ｡ ん？
What?
(お妙)そうなのよ｡ それ以来 銀さん 帰ってきてないらしくて｡
That's right.
And Gin-san hasn't returned yet.
(九兵衛)ﾔﾂのことだ｡ どこぞで➡
Knowing him, he's probably off somewhere hammered.
飲み潰れてるんじゃないか？ 心配いらないさ｡
There's no need to worry.
べ… 別の志村 きた～っ！
A-A different Shimura showed up!
やべぇよ おい！ ｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｼﾑﾗ･ｺﾞｼﾞﾗ来たぞ！
This is bad.
Hey, Gorilla Shimura Godzilla is here.
ここは 一旦 引こう！ いや！ お妙さんだったら➡
Let's pull back!
No! Otae-san might be able to recognize us!
ｵﾚたちに 気づいてくれるかもしれん！
うわ… ﾊﾞｶ！ おい！
Hey, stupid!
ｼﾑﾗ作戦のﾋﾓが まだ！
The leash from Operation Shimura is still...!
Otae-san! It's me! Me!
(近藤)お妙さ～ん！ ｵﾚですよ ｵﾚ｡ 近藤ですよ！
Kondo!
まぁ！ 何あれ！ 猫が ｺﾞﾘﾗを散歩させてる！
My, what is that?
Cats are walking a gorilla!
ﾊﾞｶﾜｲｲ！ 《え？》
Stupid-cute!
普通 ｺﾞﾘﾗのほうが 猫より 頭いいわよね｡
Usually, gorillas are smarter than cats.
ｺﾞﾘﾗのほうが 猫を連れるほうよね｡
A gorilla would walk a cat.
なのに このｺﾞﾘﾗ すご～い！ すご～い ﾊﾞｶ！ ﾊﾞｶﾜｲｲ！
But this gorilla is amazing!
Amazingly stupid!
Stupid-cute!
《ﾊﾞ… ﾊﾞｶﾜｲｲ？》
St-Stupid-cute?
What is this?
なんなの？ この子｡ いったい どこまで ﾊﾞｶなの？
How stupid is he?
ﾊﾞｶ野動物園から 逃げてきたのかしら？ よしよし｡
Did he run away from a mental zoo?
There, there.
お妙さんが… あの お妙さんが… ｵﾚの頭を なでてる！
Otae-san...
That Otae-san...
...is petting my head!
ｺﾞﾘﾗに生まれてきて よかった～！
I'm so glad I was born a gorilla!
Uh, you aren't a gorilla.
いや お前 ｺﾞﾘﾗじゃねえだろ｡
There isn't time to celebrate.
喜んでる場合じゃねえ｡ さっさと ｴｻをねだるんだよ｡
Beg for food.
ｴｻなんて もういい！
Who needs food?!
This memory will last me a lifetime!
この思い出だけで ｵﾚは 一生やっていける！
Shut up!
うるせぇんだよ！ いいから ﾒｼ なんとかしろ！
Just get us food!
九ちゃん この子たち なんだか お腹がへってるみたい｡
Kyu-chan, it looks like they're hungry.
何かないかしら？ う～ん…｡
Do you have anything?
Unfortunately, right now...
残念ながら 今は…｡
ﾎﾞﾝﾚｽﾊﾑ以外 持ち合わせていない｡ それ～っ！
I only have a boneless ham on me.
That'll do! We don't need anything else!
それ以外 何もいりませ～ん！ くれ！ それ くれ～っ！
Give! Give to us!
And why is she walking around with a huge chunk of meat?!
つぅか ｺｲﾂ なんで こんな でけぇ肉➡
むき身で持ち歩いてんだ!? 悪魔城にでも乗りこむつもりか!?
Is she headed for Castlevania?!
そっか ﾎﾞﾝﾚｽﾊﾑしかないか｡ それじゃ 仕方ないわね｡
I see, you only have a boneless ham.
Guess we can't do anything then.
すまない｡ 今は ﾎﾞﾝﾚｽﾊﾑしかないんだ｡
Sorry, I only have a boneless ham on me.
今度は もっとﾏｼなものを 持ってくるよ｡ えっ!?
I'll bring something better next time.
Huh?!
Hey, wait!
おい 待て！ それでいいっつってんだろ！
I said that it'll do!
ここで使わないで どこで使うつもりだ ﾎﾞﾝﾚｽﾊﾑ！
Where are you going to use that ham if not here?!
Kyu-chan, we should get going.
九ちゃん そろそろ行きましょう｡
Sorry about bothering you to fix my TV.
わざわざ ごめんなさいね ﾃﾚﾋﾞの修理なんて…｡
大丈夫｡ このﾎﾞﾝﾚｽﾊﾑを ﾃﾚﾋﾞに叩きつけてやれば 一発さ｡
It's nothing.
I just have to give it a good smack with this boneless ham.
Do you really have to use a boneless ham for that?!
それ ﾎﾞﾝﾚｽﾊﾑじゃなくてもよくね!?
ごめんね｡ ﾎﾞﾝﾚｽﾊﾑは あなたたちには ちょっと➡
Sorry.
A boneless ham has too much salt so it wouldn't be healthy.
塩分が濃すぎるし 体によくないわ｡
いいから！ そんなん 気にしなくていいから！
It's okay! Don't worry about that!
Instead, here's something I made.
代わりといったらなんだけど…｡
これ 焼いてみたの｡
This looks 100 times more unhealthy!
こっちのほうが 100倍 体に悪いだろうが！
Goddamn it!
最悪だ！ 結局 散々 ﾊﾑ見せびらかして➡
The woman dangled a ham before us before leaving us with this dark matter!
ﾀﾞｰｸﾏﾀｰ置いて 帰りやがったよ あの女！
でっけぇｳﾝｺだけ たれて 帰りやがったよ ｺﾝﾁｸｼｮｳ！
Left us with this huge piece of shit!
(桂)ｼﾑﾗ作戦だけに 脱糞だ｡
Operation Shimura with the shitmura.
おい 縄持ってこい！ ｺｲﾂ 今から ﾊﾑにするぞ！
Hey, bring the leash!
We'll turn this guy into ham!
ｵﾗ！ ｵﾗ！ 待て！ あれを見ろ！
There! Take that!
Wait, look over there!
S-Sorry...
す… すまない…｡
お妙ちゃんには内緒だぞ｡
Keep this a secret from Otae-chan.
きゅ… 九兵衛君… もしかして 思い直して ﾊﾑ持ってきてくれ…｡
K-Kyubei-kun...
Did you change your mind and bring the ham...?
She took the dark matter with her!
ﾀﾞｰｸﾏﾀｰ 持ち帰っただけかい!? 食べんの？ あれ 食べんの？
She's eating it?!
どんだけ お妙のこと 好きなの あの子！
She's gonna eat it?!
She really loves Otae, huh?!
なんてこった…｡
Unbelievable...
これだけ死力を尽くしても ｴｻひとつ確保できないなんて…｡
All this effort and we still can't secure food...
これが かぶき町の 野良猫の世界…｡
This is the world of stray cats in Kabukicho...?
一度 狩りに失敗したぐらいで ﾒｿﾒｿしてんじゃねえや｡
Don't start sobbing after failing one hunt.
ｼｯﾎﾟ立てて 前だけ にらんでろ｡
Tail up and stare straight ahead.
見ろ｡ (近藤)あれは…｡
Look.
Isn't that Sogo?!
総悟じゃねえか！ ｵﾚのこと 探してんのかな…｡
Is he looking for me?
うっ… ごめんよ 心配かけちまって…｡
Sorry about making you worry!
あっ… こっち見たぞ｡ おい ﾁﾗﾁﾗ こっち見てんぞ｡
Ah, he looked over here.
He keeps glancing over here.
あっ… 顔 赤らめた！ えっ なに？ 猫好きなの？
He blushed?
Huh? What?
He likes cats?
あの子 猫好きなの？ (近藤)いや ｺﾞﾘﾗが好きなんだろ｡
Does he like cats?
No, he likes gorillas.
ｺﾞﾘﾗ見て 行方知れずのｵﾚを 思ってるんだろう！
The sight of a gorilla must have reminded him of how I'm missing.
あっ あれ… ｿｰｾｰｼﾞじゃね？
Ah. Isn't that a sausage?
(近藤)真選組ｿｰｾｰｼﾞだ！ ｵﾚの大好きな真選組ｿｰｾｰｼﾞ!!
Shinsengumi sausage!
My favorite Shinsengumi sausage!
(桂)違う！ ｷｻﾏのｿｰｾｰｼﾞではない｡ ｵﾚの大好きな真選組ｿｰｾｰｼﾞだ！
No, that isn't your sausage!
It's my favorite Shinsengumi sausage!
(近藤)ﾃﾒｴ 攘夷志士のくせに 何 言ってんだよ！
Bastard! How can you say that when you're in the Anti-Foreigner Faction?!
あれは 真選組だけが 食べられるｿｰｾｰｼﾞなんだよ！
That sausage is only for Shinsengumi members!
(桂)ﾊﾞｶめ！ 今のｷｻﾏは 真選組などではない｡
Fool! You are no longer a member of the Shinsengumi!
ただのｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｺﾞﾘﾗ･ｺﾞﾘﾗだ！
You're just a Gorilla gorilla gorilla!
(近藤)学名で言うんじゃねえ！ ぶち殺したろか!!
Don't use the scientific name!
Want me to kill you?!
(桂)あっ！ (近藤)ﾃﾒｴ!!
Bastard! Why are you begging by yourself?!
何 ひとりで媚 売ってんだ！ (桂)ｿｲﾂに媚を売るのは このｵﾚだ｡
I'm the one who gets to beg!
おい！ お前 ﾎﾝﾄに攘夷志士？
Hey! Are you really in the Anti-Foreigner Faction?!
黙れ！ 今のｵﾚは ｶﾂﾗ･ｶﾂﾗ･ｶﾂﾗだ！
Shut up!
I am now Katsura katsura katsura!
いや 桂じゃん!!
No, you're Katsura!
離せ！ ｿｰｾｰｼﾞは ｵﾚのものだ!!
Let me go!
The sausage is mine!
違う！ ｵﾚのものだ！
No, it's mine!
(沖田)えっ？ 何やってんの？
Huh? What are you doing?
(ｼｬｯﾀｰ音)
おい ｱｲﾂの股にぶら下がってるﾔﾂ あれも ｿｰｾｰｼﾞって呼んでいいか？
Hey, would you also consider the thing hanging from his crotch a sausage?
(近藤)何 言ってんだ？
What are you talking about?
まぎれもねえ!! あれは ｿｰｾｰｼﾞだ！ ｸｿｶﾞｷ！ ﾃﾒｴを去勢してやらあ！
That's clearly a sausage!
Damn kid!
I'll neuter you!
待て!! あっちにも標的が｡
Wait! There's another target over there!
あっ… あれは…｡
Th-That's!
(近藤)あっ… あれは ﾄｼじゃねえか｡
I-Isn't that Toshi?!
He keeps glancing over here.
なんか ﾁﾗﾁﾗ見てんだけど こっち｡ 何？ 気持わりい！
What? It's creeping me out.
(桂)うん？ なんか出したぞ｡
He pulled something out.
近藤さん 近藤さん｡ ちょっと聞いていい？
Kondo-san, Kondo-san.
Can I ask you something?
(近藤)なんだ？ 何してんの彼｡ 何 あれ？
What?
What's he doing?
What is that?
何？ ぶっ殺されたいの？ えっ？
Huh?
Does he want to be killed?
Huh? I don't want that crap!
んなもん 毛ほども欲しくねえんだよ！
殺されてぇのか ﾃﾒｴは！ 何 見せびらかしてんだ 腹立つ！
Do you want us to kill you?!
Why are you showing it off?! Pisses me off!
あれ 欲しがってると 思ってんのが腹立つ！
He thinks we want some?! Pisses me off!
ﾄｼ！ もう やめてくれ!!
Toshi! Please stop!
恥ずかしい！ ｵﾚが なんか恥ずかしい!!
It's embarrassing!
Embarrassing for me, too!
もう我慢できん!! あっ 待って！
I can't take this anymore!
Ah! Wait!
えっ？ 何やってんの？ (土方)
Huh? What are you doing?
ｵﾒｴが 何やってんだ！ 殺す！ ｱｲﾂ 絶対 殺す!!
What the hell are you doing?!
I'll kill you! I'll definitely kill you!
勘弁してあげて… ｱｲﾂ 慣れてないから｡
Forgive him!
He's not used to this!
こういうﾉﾘ 慣れてないから｡
He's not used to this kind of thing!
世界中のみんなが ﾏﾖﾈｰｽﾞ 好きだと思ってるからさ！
He thinks that everyone in the world loves mayonnaise!
ﾊｧﾊｧ…｡ 落ち着いて｡ 次の狩りに行こう｡
Calm down and move on to the next target!
なっ？ 次 いってみよう｡
Okay? Let's move on!
おい｡
Hey.
ﾌﾝ… 冗談さ｡
Just kidding.
Keep it a secret.
みんなには内緒だぜ｡
狩るぞ…｡
Let's hunt him.
ﾊｱ…｡
Nothing to show for a whole day of work.
１日中やって 収穫ｾﾞﾛ｡
ｵﾚたち 野良の才能 ないのかもしれないな｡
We don't have the talent to be strays.
そんな才能 いらねえんだよ｡ 元に戻る希望 なくしたか？
Who wants to have that talent?
You give up on turning back to normal?
うん？
Oh?
Hey, what are you doing, Master Hoichi?
おい 何をしてるんだ？ ﾎｳｲﾁ殿｡
しかたねえ｡ とっておきのｴｻ場 教えてやらぁ｡
So much for that. I'll show you my special place for food.
うん？ おい ここって…｡
Hmm?
Hey... This is...
あらら｡ こりゃ珍しいお客さんだ｡
Oh? Here's a rare visit.
何年ぶりだろう ﾎｳｲﾁ｡
How many years has it been, Hoichi?
ﾊﾞ… ﾊﾞﾊﾞｱ…｡
O-Old hag...?!
[To Be Continued]
[Preview]
What are we supposed to do?!
We're still going to be cats next week?!
Okay!
Next week, we'll immediately search for the gorilla that bit me...
No, that doesn't matter meow.
Huh?
The next episode...
"Freedom Means to Live True to Yourself, not Without Law!"
[The stray cats, having been trapped by Hoichi, stage a coup. Then, a mysterious figure emerges from within the plot to neuter the cats...]
[Fun fact: The scientific name of the Western Lowland Gorilla is "Gorilla gorilla gorilla."]
[See you next time.]
♬『ゼッコーチョー！』
♬～