Time to eat!
(神楽)いっただきますよ～！
のほ～っ！ この一杯のために生きてるね！
I live for this stuff!
ふぅ～ おかわり おかわり｡
One more, one more.
Say, Kagura-chan...
(銀時)ねぇねぇ 神楽ちゃん｡
今日で 何日目だろう？ 卵かけごはん｡
We've been having egg over rice for how many days now?
知らないｱﾙ｡ 過去は振り返らない｡
No idea.
I don't dwell on the past.
終わった恋は引きずらないのが 私の生き方ｱﾙ｡
No lingering on relationships that are over. That's my motto.
Forget the past. Look at the garbage disposal.
過去はいいから 三角ｺｰﾅｰ 見てこいよ｡
お前が捨ててきた男の残骸で いっぱいだよ｡
It's filled with the remains of the men you've dumped.
もうずっと 卵かけごはん｡
We've been having egg over rice forever...
お前が ﾒｼ当番になってから ず～っと 卵かけごはん｡
It's been egg over rice ever since it's been your turn to cook.
もう３日目くらいから 卵かけごはんっていうか➡
Three straight days of egg over rice...
卵かけられごはんに なってんだけど 気分的には！
Hell, I'm starting to feel like an egg poured over rice.
This morning, I was like...
今朝にいたっては もう➡
"The eggs, the eggs are coming, rice!"
卵が！ 卵が こっち来るよ～ ごはん！
だよ もはや｡ おいしいから 別にいいじゃん｡
It tastes good, so who cares?
いくらでも入るｱﾙ｡ お前はな➡
I can never get enough of this.
That's you.
頭 毎日毎日ﾘｾｯﾄしてるから➡
That's because you reset your brain every single day.
毎日 ｾｰﾌﾞﾃﾞｰﾀ消えてるから｡
Because you lose your saved game every day.
ｱﾘｱﾊﾝから やり直してるから｡
Because you start over from Aliahan every day...
[Note: First town in the game Dragon Quest 3 (DQ3).]
でもな 男は引きずるんだよ｡
But y'know, men have a hard time getting over these things.
ｱｯｻﾗｰﾑで ﾊﾟﾌﾊﾟﾌしてるときも➡
When they're getting a puff-puff in Ashalam, they remember their mothers.
[Note: Another town in the game DQ3.]
お母さんの顔とか ちらついてんだよ｡
お母さん ごめんなさい｡
Sorry, Mom.
["Puff-puff"]
ﾎﾞｸは 全然 世界なんか 救ってないわけで➡
I haven't done anything to save the world.
ｱﾘｱﾊﾝの国から… 的なﾅﾚｰｼｮﾝが 流れてんの！
This whole Aliahan narration spiel starts flashing by.
もう いいかげんにしようぜ…｡
Enough of this.
いいかげん ﾊﾞﾗﾓｽ 退治しにいこうぜ｡
Let's go defeat Baramos.
[Note: Boss character in DQ3.]
勇者も 巣立つときが来たんだよ｡
It's time for the hero to leave the nest.
卵からかえるときが来たんだ｡
Time to hatch from its egg.
ごはん 作ってやってるだけでも ありがたく思えよ ﾊﾞｶ野郎！
He should be glad I'm even making food for him, stupid idiot.
Keeps nagging and nagging like a mother-in-law.
姑みたいに ﾈﾁﾈﾁ攻めてきやがって！
(新八)ﾊﾊﾊﾊﾊ！ 神楽ちゃん➡
Kagura-chan, egg over rice certainly tastes good,
確かに 卵かけごはんは おいしいけど➡
でも 毎日じゃ きついよ｡
but having it every day is too much.
あれは たまに食べるからいいんだよ｡
It's better when you only have it once in a while.
もっとﾊﾞﾗﾝｽよく 栄養 とらなきゃ｡
You need to have a balanced diet.
(お妙)そうね｡ 他にも➡
That's right.
You could also try scrambled eggs or rolled omelets.
卵焼きとか だし巻き卵とか 作ってみたらどう？
いや！ 全部 卵じゃないですか姉上！
Those are still egg recipes, Sis!
私は 卵かけごはん以外 いらないね！
I don't need anything besides my egg over rice.
卵かけごはんさえ隣にいれば 生きていけるｱﾙ！
I can survive if I've got my egg over rice with me.
神楽ちゃんはいいけど➡
It might be fine with you, Kagura-chan,
but once you're married, your husband will have a hard time.
いずれ お嫁さんになったら 旦那さんが大変だよ｡
嫁になんか 行かないもん｡ ずっと万事屋に寄生し続けてやる｡
I'm never getting married.
I'm leeching off Odd Jobs forever.
あら！ じゃあ 銀さんのお嫁さんになるの？
Oh, so you're going to marry Gin-san?
誰があんな ろくでなしと…｡
Who would marry that good-for-nothing...
(神楽)なるなら …ﾈﾙ…ﾀﾞｰｽの嫁が いいｱﾙ！
Then I'll marry the Colonel.
あのじいさん ﾆﾜﾄﾘどもを 完全に支配下に置いてるね！
That old man has every chicken under his control.
卵もﾌﾗｲﾄﾞﾁｷﾝも 食べ放題ね！
All the eggs and fried chicken I can eat.
I'm pretty sure that the Colonel would be against egg over rice every day.
…ﾈﾙも 毎日 卵かけごはんは いやだと思うよ｡
…ﾈﾙの お嫁さんになるならなるで 大変よ｡
You'll have a rough time if you marry the Colonel.
If you don't keep him on a tight leash, he'll gorge himself on fried foods.
ほっといたら あの人 揚げ物ばっかり食べるんだから｡
いや 別に…ﾈﾙ ﾌﾗｲﾄﾞﾁｷﾝばかり食べて➡
The Colonel doesn't live on fried chicken.
生きてるわけじゃありませんよ！ 仕事ですよ あれ！
That's his job!
もっとﾊﾞﾗﾝｽよく ﾄﾝｶﾂ ｺﾛｯｹとか 作れるようにならなきゃ！
You need to learn to make stuff like pork cutlets and croquettes for a balanced diet.
いや！ 全部 揚げもんじゃないですか！
Aren't those all fried?!
Are you trying to kill the Colonel?!
…ﾈﾙ 殺す気ですか!? 神楽ちゃん どう？
Kagura-chan, what do you think?
これも いい機会だし もしよかったら私と➡
This is a good opportunity.
Would you be willing to join me in taking cooking classes?
お料理教室 行ってみない？
["Cooking is About Guts"]
[Kitaoji Cooking Class]
(お妙)実は 私も➡
Actually, I was considering expanding my cooking repertoire.
お料理のﾚﾊﾟｰﾄﾘｰ増やしたくて 悩んでいたの｡
やっぱり母上が 早死にしてしまうと➡
You don't get a chance to learn if your mother dies when you're still young.
習う機会がなくなってしまって ﾀﾞﾒね｡
ここで 料理を習えば …ﾈﾙの嫁になれるｱﾙか？
Can I marry the Colonel if I learn how to cook here?
えぇ！ …ﾈﾙもｲﾁｺﾛよ！
Yes, the Colonel will be mad about you.
油まみれのﾗｳﾝｼﾞﾊﾞｰで 油まみれの指輪を➡
He'll give you a fried ring at a fried lounge bar while being fried.
油まみれになりながら 贈ってくれるはずよ！
いったい…ﾈﾙ 何だと思ってるんですか？
What do you take the Colonel for?
And Shinpachi, why are you here?
っていうか新八｡ なんでお前も来てるね？
ﾎﾞｸが ﾚﾊﾟｰﾄﾘｰ増やさないと 結局 何も変わんないだろう？
If I don't expand my repertoire, nothing will change.
焼け焦げた何かしか 増えないんだよ！
There will only be more completely burned objects.
Did you say something, Shin-chan?
何か言った？ 新ちゃん｡ いえ 何も！
No, not a word.
(九兵衛)お妙ちゃん｡
Otae-chan.
あっ 九兵衛さん！
Oh, Kyubei-san.
I came because you told me to, but what is this?
呼び出されたから来てみれば なんだ？ これは｡
ﾎﾞｸに 料理を習えというのか？
Am I supposed to learn how to cook?
男子 厨房に入らず｡
Men do not step in the kitchen.
さすがに お妙ちゃんの頼みでも これは…｡
This is one request I cannot follow...
九ちゃんだって 最後は お嫁さんになるんだから➡
You'll also end up being someone's bride, so you should learn how to cook.
料理くらいできないとﾀﾞﾒよ｡
嫁になど ならない｡ 百歩譲って➡
I will never become a bride.
If you insist, I would rather take Otae-chan or Ronald as my bride.
お妙ちゃんか…ﾙﾄﾞを 嫁にもらう｡
今度は …ﾙﾄﾞ!? どんだけ ｼﾞｬﾝｸﾌｰﾄﾞ好きなの!? ｱﾝﾀら！
Now it's Ronald?!
You girls must really love junk food!
…ﾙﾄﾞは性別不明だし｡
Since Ronald's gender is unclear, and I can have all the french fries I want every day.
毎日ﾎﾟﾃﾄ食べ放題だからな｡
You people will eat anything if it's been deep-fried!
ｵﾒｴら結局 油とれれば なんでもいいんだろ！
Why don't you just eat grease?!
But if you're going to become Ronald's bride or take Ronald as a bride,
でも …ﾙﾄﾞの嫁になるにしても➡
嫁にとるにしても 料理くらいできなきゃ｡
you have to learn how to cook.
あの人 ほっといたら なんでもﾊﾟﾝに挟んで➡
If you don't keep him on a tight leash, he'll stick anything and everything between two buns.
解決しようとするわよ｡
He'll end up sticking mother-in-law and sister-in-law between two buns and terrible things will happen.
姑と 小姑とﾊﾟﾝの間に挟まれて➡
大変なことになるわよ｡ どういう状態？
What the hell is that?! A double In-law Burger?!
ﾀﾞﾌﾞﾙ姑ﾊﾞｰｶﾞｰ？
What are you whispering about?
(さっちゃん)なにをｺｿｺｿと｡
Otae-san, you intend to learn cooking so you can win Gin-san's heart?!
お妙さん あなた手料理を覚えて➡
銀さんを落とそうっていうﾊﾗ？ さっちゃんさん！
Sa-chan-san!
抜けがけはさせないわよ！
I won't allow you to beat me to the punch!
I will be the one who stirs Gin-san's natto!
銀さんの納豆をねるのは この私の役目よ！
あなた まだ銀さん 狙ってたんですか｡
You're still after Gin-san?
You should really snap out of it.
いいかげん 目覚ましたら？
You could never be happy with that lazy bum.
あんなｸﾞｰﾀﾗと一緒になっても 幸せにはなれないわよ｡
知ったような口きかないで｡
Don't act like you know what you're talking about.
私は銀さんの 嫁の座しか見えてないの｡
I'm only after the position of Gin-san's bride!
[Note: Mito Komon is the star of a long-running Japanese historical drama TV show.]
If you insist, I would rather be Mito Komon's wife!
百歩 譲って水戸黄門の嫁よ｡
Just to be clear, Mito Natto is famous,
あの… 言っとくけど 水戸納豆は有名ですけど➡
水戸黄門は関係ないからね｡
but it has nothing to do with Mito Komon.
You won't have all the natto you can eat.
納豆 食べ放題じゃないからね｡
I can watch all the Komon's anus I want!
[Note: A different character for "komon" means anus.]
黄門の肛門が見放題じゃないの｡
What is this, grade school?!
小学生!? 黄門様のお嫁さんになるなら➡
You don't need to learn cooking to become the great Mito Komon's wife.
料理なんて覚える必要ないわよ｡
As a kunoichi, you just have to take baths and use a little sex appeal and he'll be yours.
[Note: The show had kunoichi bath scenes to attract male viewers.]
くの一なんだから 風呂にだけ入って➡
色気ちらつかせてれば すぐに➡
あのじいさん落ちるわよ｡ おい～！
Hey!
Don't make it sound like Mito Komon made a move on Kaoru Yumi!
黄門様が由美かおるに 手 出してるみたいな➡
言い方やめろ！ (北大路)はいはい 静かに！
Okay, okay! Keep it down!
皆さんは おしゃべりしに来たんですか？
Did you all come here to chat?
Or did you come to learn how to cook?!
それとも 料理を習いにきたんですか!?
No, neither is the correct answer!
いやさ どちらも違う！
愛情表現を 学ぶために来たんです！
You have come to learn how to express your affection!
いいですか 料理とは ただの日常雑務ではない！
Understand?
Cooking is not merely a daily chore!
好きな人に花を贈る｡
You give flowers to the ones you love!
You hug the ones you love!
好きな人を抱きしめる！ それと なんら変わらない！
Cooking is but another expression of affection!
愛情表現の １つです！
いきなり講義 始まりましたけど あれが先生かな？
She's lecturing us right off the bat. Is that our teacher?
That's Ms. Rosanko Kitaoji, a cooking expert.
料理研究家の北大路魯山子先生よ｡
腕は確かだけど とっても厳しくて有名なの｡
She's a talented cook, but also known for being very strict.
そういえば ﾃﾚﾋﾞで観たことあるｱﾙ｡
Oh, I think I've seen her on TV before.
あぁ 『料理の侍』とか 確か 出てたよね｡
[Note: Spoof of the show Iron Chef.]
Ah, I think she was on the Samurai Chef.
Everyone together now!
じゃあ 皆さん一緒に！
Cooking is about love!
料理は愛情！ 料理は愛情！
Cooking is about love!
料理は愛情！ いや 違うｱﾙ｡
No, that wasn't it.
Cooking is about love!
It was a press conference to announce her divorce.
離婚会見してたｱﾙ｡
Cooking is about...
旦那が10年間 不倫してて ﾄﾞﾛ沼の離婚劇だったって…｡
It was a nasty mess with the husband cheating for over ten years.
(さっちゃん) え～ じゃあ 愛情もｸｿも➡
Oh?
So she's going on about love when she has no one to love.
愛する人がいないじゃないの 逃げられてんじゃないの｡
He ran away.
さっちゃんさん 聞こえます！
Sa-chan-san! She can hear you!
You're being rude.
(九兵衛)言いすぎだぞ いないとは言いきれん｡
We can't be sure that she doesn't have a man.
もしかしたら そんな男でも➡
Or she may still have feelings for that pathetic man.
まだ 引きずっているのかもしれない｡
You aren't helping, Kyubei-san!
ﾌｫﾛｰになってないですよ 九兵衛さん｡
え～と…｡
Well...
Since this is our first class, I'll have you show me how skilled you are.
じゃあ 初回ということで まずは➡
皆さん どれほどの腕なのか さらっと見せてもらいましょうか｡
料理は愛情といっても さすがに包丁 握ったこともない➡
Cooking may be about love,
but I don't want to waste my time on little girls who have never held a knife before.
小娘どもに付き合ってる暇は こっちもないんでね｡
これから 皆さんをﾃｽﾄさせてもらいます｡
I shall be testing you now.
今から好きに 料理を作ってもらって➡
Cook any food to your liking and the team with the worst result
一番ひどかった班！
will immediately be kicked out!
ここから即刻 出てってもらいます！
めちゃめちゃ こっち見てんですけど！
She is so staring right at us!
Well, everyone!
では 皆さん 持ちうる技術 愛情➡
Pour all of your knowledge and love into your cooking!
すべて 料理に 叩き込んでください！
私は皆さんのいいところも 悪いところも➡
I will witness everything you do right and everything you do wrong.
すべて見ます 決して 見逃しません！
I won't miss a thing!
それでは 始め！
Now begin!
How's this?
これとかどう？ そうね｡
Hmm...
Sh-She hasn't budged an inch.
《微動だにしない ﾏｰｸされた｡
We've been marked.
完全に目つけられた！
She's got her eyes on us!
The teacher fully intends to get rid of us!
先生 完璧に ﾎﾞｸら落とすつもりだ!!》
やれやれ 料理を習いに来たのに➡
Good grief, I came here to learn how to cook,
よもや習う前に こんなことになるとは｡
so I didn't expect this to happen first.
しかたないわ ここは 皆で協力するしかないわね｡
There's no other way.
We'll have to work together.
技術面では不安はあるけど➡
I'm not very confident in our technique,
愛情なら 私たちだって負けてないはずよ｡
but they can't beat us when it comes to love.
上等ｱﾙ！ 私の …ﾈﾙへの愛を見せてやるね！
Fine by me!
I'll show them my love for the Colonel!
いや …ﾙﾄﾞだ｡ 黄門様の肛門よ｡
No, for Ronald.
For Mito's anus.
いや あの… すみません｡
I'm sorry, but...
ﾊﾞﾗﾊﾞﾗな上に みんな 限りなく➡
You're all over the place, and your love is for ridiculous reasons...
どうでもいいもんに 愛情 むかってんですけど｡
(お妙)そうね こんなにﾊﾞﾗﾊﾞﾗじゃ 勝てっこないわ｡
That's true.
We can't win if we're divided.
仕方ない ここは折衷案で …の…さんにしましょう｡
Beggars can't be choosers.
We'll compromise and go with Inaba from the rock duo B'z.
Why?!
なんでだ!! なんで黄門の肛門から …さんが 出てくるんですか!!
How do you wind up getting Inaba-san out of Mito's anus?!
ｱﾝﾀの好みでしょ そのひと昔前の ＯＬくさいﾁｮｲｽ！
You clearly chose him for your own reasons!
Like an office lady's taste in men from a decade ago!
ふざけんじゃないわよ！ 黄門の肛門って言ってるでしょ!!
Don't give me that crap!
I said I wanted Mito's anus!
わかった｡ ﾎﾞｸは お妙ちゃんと一緒でいい｡
Fine.
I'll do whatever Otae-chan wants.
…さんのｹﾂの穴にしよう｡
We'll go with Inaba-san's asshole.
なんで ｹﾂの穴だ！ 微妙に肛門と混ざってんでしょ!!
Why asshole?!
You're mixing in the anus talk!
Hey! What happened to the Colonel?!
おい …ﾈﾙは どこいったｱﾙか！
Let's merge Inaba and the Colonel!
…と…ﾈﾙと ﾄﾞｯｷﾝｸﾞさせろよ!!
Hey! That doesn't matter at this point!
おい！ もうそこ どうでもいいだろうに！
早く 料理作りましょうよ！
Let's start cooking!
It certainly matters!
(北大路) どうでもよくなんかないわよ！
Cooking is about love!
料理は 愛情よ！
何を作るかじゃない｡ 誰のために作るか｡
The key isn't what you make.
The key is who you're making it for. Didn't you hear me?
それが 重要だって言ったでしょ｡
That may be the key, Teach,
いや 重要って言ったって先生｡
…さんも 黄門さんも ここにいないからね｡
but Inaba-san and Komon-san aren't here!
別に食べないからね 料理｡
They won't be eating our cooking!
B…の…なら …のほうがいいｱﾙ！ 渋いね!!
If we're talking B'z, I prefer Matsumoto over Inaba! So manly!
ﾃﾞﾋﾞｭｰ当時 志村けんに 似てたところもﾎﾟｲﾝﾄ高いね！
And it helps that he looks like Ken Shimura, the comedian!
どんなﾁｮｲｽしてんの！ だったら 最初から 志村けんでいいだろ！
What are we even trying to choose here?!
Why not go with Ken Shimura to begin with?!
(お妙)じゃあ ｼﾞｬﾝｹﾝで 私が勝ったら …さん｡
Then if I win rock, paper, scissors, it's Inaba-san.
If Kagura-chan wins, Ken Shimura will do.
神楽ちゃんが 勝ったら 志村けんでいいわね？
いや おかしいわよ｡ ２人を 引きはがすなんておかしい｡
No, something's wrong with that.
It's wrong to separate those two.
…さんと志村けん ２人合わせて …じゃない？
B'z only works when the two of them are combined!
２人合わせて …じゃねえ！
Combining the two of them won't give you B'z!
(九兵衛)わかった じゃあ 代わりにﾎﾞｸがやる｡
Understood. Then I'll do this.
お妙ちゃんが勝ったら…｡ ﾎﾞｸが勝ったら…だ｡
If Otae-chan wins, it's B'z.
If I win, it's WANDS.
[Note: Japanese band from the 90's that was from the same record company as B'z.]
Where did WANDS come from?!
どっから …出てきたんだ！ さびついたﾏｼﾝｶﾞﾝで➡
[Note: Dragon Ball GT ending song by WANDS.]
Do you people want me to take a rusty machine gun and shoot you down?!
撃ち抜かれてえのか この野郎!!
このままじゃ らちがあかないわ｡
This will never end at this rate.
ここは いったん …のことは忘れましょう｡
We should forget about B'z for now.
何か …と似たようなもので｡ (さっちゃん)あ じゃあ➡
Something similar to B'z...
Oh, then we can go with the Drifterz.
[Note: The Drifters, music/comic group from the 70's.]
ﾄﾞﾘﾌﾀｰ'Zで いいんじゃないかしら｡ どこが 似てんだ！
How are they similar?!
無理やり Ｚで …風にしただけだろ！
You just stuck a 'z' in there so it would look similar!
Then we'll go with KEN from Drifterz.
じゃあ ﾄﾞﾘﾌﾀｰ'ZのKeNで｡ CHAも捨てがたいけどね｡
CHA would also make a fine choice.
[Note: Kato Cha, a member from the Drifters.]
There are no such flashy members in the Drifters!
いねえよ ﾄﾞﾘﾌに そんな ｵｼｬﾚなﾔﾂら!!
それ ただの志村けんだろ！ ちょっと！
It's just Ken Shimura!
Hey!
散々 話し合って 結局 志村けんかい！
So after all that talking, we end up with Ken Shimura?!
何やってんの！
What are you doing?!
もう 周り 料理始めちゃってますよ｡
Everyone else has started cooking!
食材は あっちにあるから 好きなの選んで➡
There are ingredients over there so make whatever you want.
好きな料理作りな｡ そう➡
Yes, make something that would make KEN very happy.
KeNが最も喜ぶ料理をね｡
いや だから KeNここにいないし➡
I said KEN isn't here! KEN won't be eating!
KeN 食べねえし！ うるさい 小僧は黙ってな｡
Shut up! Zip it, little twerp!
このｽｲｶに 塩ふればいいんじゃないｱﾙか？
Can we just salt up this watermelon?
よく早食いしてたし｡
He likes quick snacks.
That wouldn't be considered cooking!
そんなの 料理じゃねえだろ！
I'm sorry to bring this up now, everyone...
すまない みんな｡ 今更 悪いんだがやっぱり➡
But...
Can we drop KEN for CHA?
KeNはやめて CHAのほうにしないか？
お前は まだその話 ひきずってんのか！
You're still on that subject?!
もういいつってんだろ！ そのくだらねえ話は！
Didn't we agree to drop that ridiculous topic?!
We know that KEN loves his liquor, but nobody knows what his favorite foods are.
KeNは 酒好きで知られるが➡
ｲﾏｲﾁ 何の料理が好きかは 認知されていない｡
だが CHAのほうは簡単だ｡
But CHA, on the other hand, would be simple.
CHA-han, as in fried rice.
CHA飯｡ ただのﾀﾞｼﾞｬﾚじゃねえか！
That's just a pun!
なるほど まさに CHAのためのご飯｡
I see, it's perfect for CHA!
さすがは 九ちゃんだわ！
You're brilliant, Kyu-chan!
No, she's just trying to be clever!
いや うまいこと言ってるだけだよね!?
It has nothing to do with CHA!
何もCHAのための 料理じゃないよね!?
But I'd feel bad if we ditched KEN now.
でも今更 KeN外すのは かわいそうｱﾙ｡ もういいって!!
Enough of that!
じゃあ いっそのこと KATOﾁｬﾝ keNﾁｬｰ飯で｡ おい!!
Then we can just go with KATO-chan KEN-cha-han.
Hello?!
そうよ やっぱり２人揃って KATOKeNですもの｡
Yep! You need both of them for KATOKEN to work!
Nobody cares!
どうでもいいんですけど！ 心の底から いい加減にしろよ!!
Nobody at all!
Cut it out already!
何しに来たんですか ﾎﾞｸらここに!!
What did we come here for anyway?!
For now, we have green onions, pork, eggs, the basics.
(九兵衛)とりあえず 具材は ﾈｷﾞ ﾁｬｰｼｭｰ 卵｡ 基本はおさえた｡
ここから どう ｱﾚﾝｼﾞを加えるかだな｡
The question is how do we spice it up?
ここに ｴﾋﾞ ﾎﾀﾃなどを加えると 海鮮ﾁｬｰﾊﾝになり➡
We can add shrimp or scallops for a seafood flair...
ｷﾑﾁを入れれば ｷﾑﾁﾁｬｰﾊﾝになる｡ どうする？
If we add kimchi, we'll have kimchi fried rice.
What do we do?
KATOちゃん KeNちゃんって いったい 何が好きなんだ？
What do KATO-chan and KEN-chan like?
(３人)知らね｡ 知らねえじゃねえだろ！
No clue.
Don't give me that!
お前らが 勝手に ﾁｬｰﾊﾝ好きにしたてたんだろ！
You're the ones who decided that they like cha-han rice!
結局 前に １歩も進んでねえじゃん！
We haven't made any progress at all!
Let's go with seafood.
海鮮風でいこう｡
Toss in wakame and kombu!
ﾜｶﾒとか ｺﾝﾌﾞとか 適当に入れとけｱﾙ！
おい 待て!!
Hey! Hold it!
(神楽)KeNは 薄毛ｱﾙ｡
KEN has a receding hairline.
ﾜｶﾒ系 たくさん とっといたほうがいいね｡
He needs plenty of seaweed for minerals!
んなこと言ったって 見栄え悪すぎだろ！
Yeah, but that looks horrible!
ﾁｬｰﾊﾝ ｶﾂﾗかぶってるみたいに なってんぞ!!
It looks like a wig!
(神楽)うるせえな KeNの頭も これくらい➡
You're so annoying.
I'm wishing for KEN's head to end up like this!
黒々となってくれ的な願いも 込められてんだよ｡
じゃあ のり系も 入れといた方がいいんじゃない？
Then we should also throw in nori?
いらないです｡ もう 黒はいいです｡
Not needed! We have enough black!
じゃあ かるいｱｸｾﾝﾄで ﾘｰ…21的なものも入れときましょ｡
Then we'll top it off with something Rxxe21-like.
Rxxe21-like?! That's clearly Rxxe21 in your hand!
ﾘｰ…21的なものって ﾘｰ…21以外の何物でもねえだろ｡
It's not edible! It isn't seafood!
飲むもんじゃねえし 海鮮じゃねえし！
(お妙)すべての生きものは 母なる海から生まれているのよ｡
All creatures were born from the mother sea.
ﾘｰ…21は違うだろ！ つか このﾁｬｰﾊﾝは➡
Rxxe21 wouldn't count!
Is this fried rice solely for the purpose of growing hair?!
増毛以外の目的なしか！ KeNの頭に➡
It'd be faster to stick kombu on KEN's head!
直接 ｺﾝﾌﾞのせたほうが早いわ！
そうよ！ さっきから聞いてれば 何なの KeN KeNって！
That's right!
I've been standing here quietly while you all go on about KEN!
言っとくけどね このﾁｬｰﾊﾝは KATOちゃん KeNﾁｬｰ飯なのよ｡
Just to be clear!
This fried rice is KATO-chan KEN-cha-han rice!
KATOちゃんだって 息づいてるの！
KATO-chan is also here!
KATOちゃん KeNちゃん ２人そろって➡
KATO-chan and KEN-chan have to be together for B'z to work!
初めて …でしょ！ …じゃねえ！
They aren't B'z!
ｱﾝﾀ …いったい 何だと思ってんですか!?
What the hell do you think B'z is?!
Then Sarutobi-san...
じゃあ 猿飛さん… 聞きますけど➡
Let me ask you. What can we do for KATO-chan?
KATOちゃんにしてあげられること って何よ｡
What are you talking about?
いや 何の話してるんですか!?
He has plenty of hair. Lots of money.
髪はﾌｻﾌｻ 金は持ってる｡ 女にﾓﾃﾓﾃ… 十分 幸せじゃない｡
Popular with the girls. Isn't he already happy?
(さっちゃん)何よ｡ KeNだって ﾊｹﾞてる以外➡
So? You could say the same about KEN, besides that he's balding.
ほとんど一緒じゃない｡
KeNはね… ﾊｹﾞてるくせに…｡
KEN, despite his balding...
ﾌﾞﾛｸﾞ 超ｶｯｺｲｲのよ…｡
Has this really cool blog...
別にいいだろ～!! ﾊｹﾞてて ﾌﾞﾛｸﾞ ｶｯｺよかったら➡
What's wrong with that?!
You can't have a cool blog if you're balding?!
ﾀﾞﾒなのか!? 何が ﾀﾞﾒなんだ!?
What's the problem?!
変なおじさんとか やっている裏で…｡
Despite the fact that he's a weird old man on the outside,
実は めちゃめちゃ ｶｯｺｲｲ人なの…｡
he's totally cool on the inside.
He isn't anything like a weird old man.
全然 変なおじさん なんかじゃないの｡
全然… だっふんだ なんかじゃないの｡
He isn't harumph at all...
He's so harumph!
全然 だっふんだですよ！ いいだろ そこがいいんだろ！
What's wrong with that?!
That's the point!
ｶｯｺｲｲんだろ～!!
That makes him cool!
ｱｲﾂ… 全然 ｢大丈夫だぁ｣ なんかじゃなかったんじゃない｡
So he wasn't "fine and dandy" at all...
ごめんなさい… 私 知らなかったから…｡
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
ごめんなさいの意味が 全然わかんないんですけど!!
I have no idea why you're apologizing!
でも… 私も１つだけ 言っていい？
But...
Is it okay if I say something?
KATOちゃんってね… あの歳になって…｡
KATO-chan, at his age...
Gets completely naked when he takes a crap...
ﾄｲﾚで ｳﾝｺするとき 全裸なんだって…｡
ﾎﾝﾄに… ﾀﾌﾞｰじゃない…｡
Isn't that taboo?
ごめんなさい｡ 私も何も知らなかった｡
I'm sorry... I had no idea...
How could you possibly know that anyway?!
知るわけねえだろ そんな情報！
KATOちゃんも KeNちゃんも… 傷つき疲れ果てている…｡
KATO-chan and KEN-chan are hurting and tired...
How?!
どこが!? ２人とも元気づけられる…｡
If only we could make some cha-han rice to cheer them up...
そんなﾁｬｰﾊﾝが 作れればいいのに…｡
私たちが ふがいないばっかりに…｡
But we're so useless...
包丁も ろくに握ったことのない小娘が➡
A little girl who's rarely used a knife in the kitchen
人を元気づけられる愛情の こもった料理を作るなんて…｡
could never cook anything full of love to cheer someone up...
はなっから できっこなかったのよ…｡
We had no chance from the beginning...
何 この暗いﾑｰﾄﾞ…｡
What's with the gloomy mood?
なんで 全裸でｳﾝｺする KATOちゃんの話から➡
How did we go from KATO-chan pooping naked to this?
こんなﾑｰﾄﾞになれるの…｡ はぁ…｡
いや なんで九兵衛さんまで！ あぁ…｡
Why is Kyubei-san joining in?
ﾑﾘなんかじゃないｱﾙ！
It isn't impossible!
Mentaiko?
明太子？
♪♪～
(みんな)先生 できました｡
Teacher, we're done!
お願いします｡
Please try it.
[KATO SHIMURA "Go get 'em"]
まずい…｡
Disgusting.
けど 私が KATOちゃん KeNちゃんだったら｡
But...
If I were KATO-chan KEN-chan,
こりゃ 食えない｡
I couldn't accept this.
さぁ さっさと出ていきな｡
Now get going.
ｱﾝﾀらに教えられることは 私には何もないよ…｡
I have nothing to teach you.
料理は愛情… この言葉を忘れるんじゃないよ｡
Cooking is about love.
Never forget those words.
Okay!
(みんな)はいっ！
やったわね｡ 免許皆伝みたいなものだろう｡
We did it!
We've been titled masters.
A master, huh?
免許皆伝ｱﾙか｡ これで 銀ちゃんも納得ｱﾙね！
Now Gin-chan can't complain!
Teacher, who is this?
先生… これはいったい 誰なんですか？
私が聞きたい…｡
That's what I want to know.
Who is KATO-chan KEN-chan?
KATOちゃん KeNちゃんって… いったい誰だ？
さぁ… とにもかくにも➡
No idea...
In any case, it's a good thing you got rid of those nuisances.
Let's repeat it, so we don't forget.
うるさいのが追い出せて よかったですね｡
そうｱﾙな｡
Good idea.
料理は…｡ (みんな)愛情!!
Cooking is about...
Love!
ﾀﾞﾒだ こりゃ｡
Hopeless.
♪♪～
Boy, the year's already over, huh?
Sure was fast.
I hate how the year goes by faster as we get older.
At this rate, by the time I'm an old geezer
the years will pass at the speed of a Formula 1 car.
I've still got a long ways to go.
Well, I'm already up to Ben Johnson speed, I'd say.
My Ben Johnson is already up to here.
Don't get too cocky because you're all still young.
Your Ben Johnson will fall behind soon enough.
For real?
Ben Johnson's gonna fall out??
I prefer Carl Lewis over Ben Johnson.
He's cooler.
Well, all I'm saying is,
we all had a pretty good year, right?
Hell no!
It's still January!
And haven't we had the exact same conversation three years in a row?!
That's 'cause this whole segment was recycled.
Yeah.
Not just the lines either. The video's the same, too.
(神楽)あ～ 今年も もう終わりｱﾙな～｡
Your lines are exactly the same as the ones from last year!
早いな～｡ もうやんなっちゃうな～｡
Well, you know...
They've been working hard on this anime.
年とるごとに 早くなっていくよ 一年過ぎるのが｡
But you know...
It's the end of the year and they're also working on the movie.
この調子じゃ じじいになったときは➡
The staff's gotten used to slacking at a TV schedule the last four years.
Ｆ１ｶｰが通り過ぎる並みのｽﾋﾟｰﾄﾞで 一年が過ぎるんじゃねえの？
It doesn't take long for them to run out of steam.
私は まだまだ大丈夫ｱﾙ｡
They're the type you expect
to start clutching their stomachs before they've even left the starting area of a marathon.
いやいや 実際 ｵﾚなんか もう ﾍﾞﾝ･ｼﾞｮﾝｿﾝが➡
Nobody wants to hear about whining behind the scenes.
走り去るくらいの速さまで 来てるからね もう｡
来てるからね！ そこに ﾍﾞﾝが｡
Besides, this is why you usually have another team ready to go, right?
お前らも若いからって 調子にのってると➡
That's how all the other anime do it.
すぐ来るよ ﾍﾞﾝが｡
Well, come April, the movie will be complete and the TV series will end.
ﾏｼﾞかよ｡ ﾍﾞﾝが来るのかよ？
私 ﾍﾞﾝより ｶｰﾙのほうがいいﾈ｡ ｶｯｹｰ ｱﾙ｡
We can all rest easy.
まぁ 要は 今年も充実した１年を 送ったってことじゃなくねえ？
Not only can we rest easy, but we'll all be unemployed.
Yeah, we won't be able to laugh at Hasegawa-san anymore.
Uh, wait...
送ってねえよ!! まだ１月だぞ！
Did you just say that the TV series will end?
っていうか この会話 ３年連続 まったく同じじゃねえか!!
The show's ending in April?
だって これ まるまる使い回しのﾊﾞﾝｸだもん｡
What are you saying, Pachi-boy?
Didn't we say that we were entering the final arc back in episode 125?
そうだよ｡ ｾﾘﾌどころか 画まで まったく同じｱﾙよ｡
I only tell the truth.
そのｾﾘﾌも 去年と同じじゃねえかっ!!
Grown adults would never lie about ending a show...
いやさ ぼちぼち がんばってたんだけどさ➡
Hold on!
Who would remember something you said a year ago?!
さすがに年末くらいから 映画も 同時進行で始まっちゃってさ｡
Entering the final stage of the final arc.
４年間 ﾃﾚﾋﾞ ﾀﾞﾗﾀﾞﾗつくるﾍﾟｰｽに➡
慣れちゃってたわけじゃん｡ ｽﾀｯﾌが｡
And so, I'm sure that some of you were wondering about the number by the title this week.
ｱｲﾂら 簡単に息切れするからね～｡
I shall explain now!
ﾏﾗｿﾝ大会 学校出る前に もう 脇腹 おさえてるﾀｲﾌﾟだから｡
A countdown really began back when we said it would.
いや 聞きたくねえんだよ｡ そんな内部事情の泣きごとは｡
Huh? Really?
だいたい こういうときは 普通 別班立てるだろ｡
Well, at one point, we realized that we miscounted, so we counted 19 twice to hide that fact.
よそのｱﾆﾒは みんな そうしてるよ｡
まぁ でも ４月になれば 劇場版も完成｡
You just told everybody!
ﾃﾚﾋﾞも 無事 終了で みんな一段落できるか｡
Why is this final little gimmick still half-assed?!
But this time, we're telling the truth about this show ending.
一段落どころか 全員 無職に転落ね｡
The boy who cried wolf was telling the truth in the end.
ﾎﾝﾄ もう長谷川さんのこと 笑えないよな～｡
Though that was when he died.
And we only have a few numbers left in this new year.
っていうか 今 ﾃﾚﾋﾞ 終了って言わなかった？
But I don't really like having a movie right after the TV show ends.
この番組って ４月までに終わるんですか？
何いまさら言ってんだよ ぱっつぁん｡
Like how those recent TV dramas do it?
最終章 突入って 125話で言ったじゃん｡
Air a wishy-washy final episode and go, "To be continued in the movie."
銀さん ﾎﾝﾄのことしか言わないよ｡
終わる終わる詐欺なんて いい大人がやることじゃない…｡
The TV show ends up feeling like a promotion for the movie.
っておい～！ 誰が１年前の➡
That's insulting the viewers who've been watching every week!
最終章 突入なんて 覚えてんだよ～!!
I would never go see one of those movies!
最終章 最終説… 突入ｱﾙ｡
You'd better not be fooled by these sneaky ticket sets!
そんなわけで 今回は 一部の方は 気になってたと思うが➡
Wait!
Why is that the only footage that's new?!
And it has nothing to do with the movie!
ｻﾌﾞﾀｲﾄﾙについてた数字 あれの答え合わせをする！
Besides, movie previews these days are just a bunch of tempting scenes.
ｶｳﾝﾄﾀﾞｳﾝ開始から ﾎﾝﾄに ｶｳﾝﾄﾀﾞｳﾝ始まってたｱﾙ！
We're going to be playing a commercial right after this,
えっ そうなの？ まぁ 途中で 残り話数➡
so you'd better not be fooled.
Yeah, something like this!
数え間違えてたことに気づいて➡
19 ２回出して ごまかしたんだけど｡
If you have time to plan out a pretty death,
["Witness the end of GinTama the anime..."]
ごまかせてねえよ！ なに その最後の仕掛けまで➡
why not live a pretty life to the very end?
["...on the big screen!!"]
ｸﾞﾀﾞｸﾞﾀﾞな感じ！
でも 今回 正直に 終了を告知してたﾈ｡
GinTama the Movie.
狼少年も 最後は ﾎﾝﾄのことを言うｱﾙ｡
Benizakura Arc: the New Interpretation
["Saturday, April 24th. It ends for real."]
まぁ そのときは 死ぬときだったけどな｡
That's way too tempting!!
で 年明け以降の話数は 言わずもがなだ｡
[Preview]
だけど ｲﾔなんだよね～｡ ﾃﾚﾋﾞ終わって 即劇場って！
Why did he have to come now?
最近 ﾄﾞﾗﾏとかでよくある あの手法？
We're about to battle it out with the Anti-Foreigner Faction...
最終回を わざと 中途半端で終わらせて➡
Why?
Why now, Tarzan...?!
続きは劇場で… みたいなやり方で｡
["Whenever I hear the word "Leviathan", silly old me, I immediately think about Sazae-san!!"]
ﾃﾚﾋﾞ自体が 映画のための ただの宣伝みたいな？
[The staff went ahead and ate the tasty cha-han rice from the gag in this episode.]
毎週 観てくれる 視聴者に失礼だよね～！
ｵﾚは ああいうやり方の映画は 絶対 観に行かないね！
[The scent of the wakame in the cha-han was intense.]
お前らも こんなあざとい劇場ﾍﾟｱﾁｹｯﾄに➡
[See you next time.]
つられんじゃねえぞ～！ ちょっと～ なんでそこだけ新作!?
しかも 映画の内容と ぜんぜん関係ねえし!!
だいたい 今やってる 映画のＣＭも➡
あざといｶｯﾄばかり つなげやがってよ～！
これからは もうＣＭも ｼﾚｯとした感じでいくから➡
お前ら つられんじゃねえぞ！
じゃあ こんな感じで！
美しく最後を 飾り付けるﾋﾏがあるなら➡
最後まで 美しく生きようじゃねえか｡
あざとすぎるわ～っ!!