["Not Losing to the Storm."]
You idiots!
(清明)ｷｻﾏら… 何をしとるんじゃ！
What are you doing here?!
That's just cold.
(銀時)水臭せえじゃないですか｡
I, Gintoki Sakata, am destined to marry into the Ketsuno clan.
この坂田銀時も いずれは 結野衆に婿入りするは運命｡
我がお家のﾋﾟﾝﾁとあらば➡
So if my family's in trouble, I'm obviously going to come help, bro-bro.
そら 参上つかまつりますよ ｵﾆｲﾀﾏ｡
誰がｵﾆｲﾀﾏじゃ｡
Who are you calling bro-bro?
I don't recall choosing you to be Christel's husband!
ｷｻﾏをｸﾘｽﾃﾙの 婿に選んだ覚えはない 帰れ！
Leave!
じゃあ この 天下一武闘会に勝ったら➡
Then if we win this world martial arts tournament, you'll get me as your in-law. How's that?
ｵﾚを婿にもらえるってことで｡ いるか そんな景品！
Who'd want a prize like that?!
ﾋﾟｯｺﾛ大魔王にでも ｸﾘﾘﾝにでも くれてやるわ！ 帰れ!!
I'll give you off to Demon King Piccolo or Krillin!
Leave!
Don't be such a stiff.
(神楽)かたいこと言うなよ どうせ そっちもﾊﾞﾂｲﾁだろ｡
She's already divorced once.
And this guy has kids, so it's a perfect match.
こっちもｺﾌﾞつきで ちょうど 釣り合いが取れてるｱﾙよ｡
You also plan on coming?!
お前らも来るつもりか!?
Don't worry.
心配いらないね こっちは遺産さえもらえれば➡
There won't be any complaints as long as we get the inheritance.
文句はないｱﾙ 誰だろうと お母さんと呼んでやるよ｡
We're willing to call anyone our Mom.
Your kids have a real nasty streak!
ｺﾌﾞどころか 悪性腫瘍がついてるぞ！
Gedomaru!
外道丸！ 早く この者たちを連れて帰れ!!
Take these people out of here!
Do you believe that people without magic can possibly survive this fight?!
呪法も使えぬ 素人たちを巻き込んで➡
ﾀﾀﾞで済むと思っておるのか｡
(外道丸)清明様 確かに この者たちは➡
Lord Seimei, it's true that these people cannot use magic.
呪法が使えないでござんす｡
They cannot use divination or call shikigami.
占いもできない 式神も使えない｡
They don't have the power to stop this rain.
この雨を晴らす力もありやせん｡
But they know how to bring back Lady Christel's smile.
でも ｸﾘｽﾃﾙ様の 笑顔を取り戻す術だけは➡
存じておるでござんす｡
I can promise you that.
それだけは あっしが保証するでござんす｡
(道満)ｸｸｸ… もはや 結野衆に闘える者など➡
I believed that there was no one left in the Ketsuno clan to fight...
おらぬと思っていたが｡
Very well.
よかろう 清明とともに➡
You may join Seimei...
No, join Christel in the depths of hell.
いや ｸﾘｽﾃﾙとともに ｷｻﾏらを地獄へと誘ってやる！
お天気戦争 最終決戦｡
The final battle of the weather war!
The Shikigami Tag Team Mystic Death Match begins!
式神ﾀｯｸﾞ呪法ﾃﾞｽﾏｯﾁﾊﾞﾄﾙの始まりだ！
(歓声)
Wait, Doman.
待て 道満 この者たちは…｡
These men are not...
Didn't you hear me say to wait?!
おい 待てと言っておるのが 聞こえんのか！
Bro-bro, you don't need to worry.
ｵﾆｲﾀﾏ 心配いりませんよ｡
I'm sure that they'll be able to win.
ﾔﾂらなら きっと勝ちます｡
呪法なんぞに負ける ﾔﾜな連中じゃありません｡
They aren't so weak as to lose to magic.
This isn't about losing to magic!
呪法に負けるとか それ以前に あれ式神じゃないよね!?
That isn't even a shikigami, is it?!
式神です 万事屋の雑務をこなす｡
It's a shikigami.
The Odd Jobs gofer.
It's a gofer wearing full body tights!
(清明)ただの全身ﾀｲﾂ履いた 雑用係だよね｡
His eyes are swimming all over!
目 泳いでるもの ﾊﾞﾀﾌﾗｲしてるもの ﾊﾞﾁｬﾊﾞﾁｬいってるもの｡
It's doing the butterfly!
It's splashing everywhere!
保憲 初戦だ 巳厘野衆の力を➡
Yasunori, take the first match.
Show them the might of the Shirino clan.
思い知らせてやれ！ (保憲)はっ！
Yes, my lord!
I summon you, Yashamaru!
出でよ 夜叉丸！
(新八)ｸﾊ～！
[ﾏｲｸ]それでは ﾙｰﾙについて説明いたします｡
Then I shall explain the rules now.
Hey, he stopped doing the butterfly!
(清明)おい ﾊﾞﾀﾌﾗｲどころか ﾌﾟｰﾙの底に沈んだぞ！
He's sunk to the bottom of the pool!
[ﾏｲｸ]このﾃﾞｽﾏｯﾁは 両陣営３人の術者が➡
Three Onmyoji from each side will team up with their shikigami
おのおの自分の式神とﾀｯｸﾞを組み➡
to determine a victor through a battle of magic.
さまざまな呪法対決を三戦 行い➡
勝敗を決するものです｡ (清明)誰か係員を！
Call the lifeguard!
He's drowning!
おぼれてる人がいます！ 早く助けてあげて!!
Save him, quick!
[ﾏｲｸ]この勝負によって 死者が出ることがあっても➡
There will be any legal implications if someone were to die.
法的機関は一切関知いたしません｡
No way in hell!
ﾑﾘ！ 銀さん こんなんﾑﾘ!!
I can't do this, Gin-san!
おい～！ 無視してんじゃねえぞ ｺﾗ！
Hey!
Don't ignore me, damn it!
[ﾏｲｸ]なお 死ぬ前にｷﾞﾌﾞｱｯﾌﾟすれば 命は助かりますが➡
And if you give up before you die, you will survive, but naturally, you'll lose.
[ﾏｲｸ]当然 負けとなります｡
I give u-
ｷﾞﾌﾞｱｯ…｡
Did you say something, Team Ketsuno?
何か言いましたか？ 結野衆ﾁｰﾑ｡
Nothing at all.
何でもありません ちょっとｴｻやるの忘れてて｡
I forgot to feed him.
ほら ﾍﾟﾁｸﾞﾘｰｼﾞｬﾑだよ たんと お食べ｡
Here's some Petigree jam.
Eat up.
それでは 一回戦のﾙｰﾙの説明に移ります｡
Then I will now explain the rules for the first match.
[ﾏｲｸ]一回戦目の競技は術者と式神 二人三脚によるﾊﾟﾝ…｡
The first match will consist of a three-legged race by shikigami and master that culminates in...
Is this an eating race?
ひょっとしてﾊﾟﾝ食い競争とか!?
We have a chance of winning then!
それなら勝ち目があるかも｡
[ﾏｲｸ]ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ食い競争です｡
The Pandemonium-eating race.
ｷｬ～！
Wh-What the hell is a Pandemonium?!
ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑって何だ～!?
式神の好物 幼生の幼虫 ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑでござんす｡
One of the shikigami's favorite foods.
Pandemonium larvae.
Well, it's sort of like a snack.
まぁ ｽﾅｯｸ菓子みたいなもんで ござんすね｡
You're so lucky to get an eating contest.
いいなぁ 競技で食べられるなんて｡
あんな気持悪いもん ｽﾅｯｸ感覚でいけるか!?
How could something so creepy be a snack?!
[ﾏｲｸ]ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ 略してﾊﾟﾝのところまで 二人三脚で向い…｡
A three-legged race to the Pandemonium, or Pan for short, and the first to finish eating it wins.
First, my ass! That monster is not edible, damn it!
いち早くもｸｿも 食えるわけねえだろ！
あんな化け物！ [ﾏｲｸ]それでは 位置について｡
On your mark!
Hell no!
つかねえ 絶対ﾔﾀﾞ！ ﾎﾞｸは絶対いきません!! ｲﾔだ～!!
Not in this life!
I refuse to go!
No more!
Ready!
[ﾏｲｸ]よ～い…｡ 待って｡ ど～ん｡
Wait!
Go!
うりゃ～！
What's this?!
[ﾏｲｸ]おっと 巳厘野衆ﾁｰﾑは➡
Team Shirino cannot run due to the shikigami's size!
巨大な式神を召喚したせいで まったく歩幅が合わない！
ｲﾃﾃ… 股裂ける！
Ow! My crotch is being torn apart!
What are you doing?!
何をしてるんだ！ 早く行かぬか！
Hurry it up!
おぉ！ これはもしや！ ね｡ だから言ったでしょ｡
They just might win?!
See? I told you.
Stand, Shinpachi!
立て 新八！ 早くﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑを食べるね！
Eat the Pandemonium!
ﾑﾘ!! ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑだけは ﾑﾘ!!
Not happening!
Anything but the Pandemonium!
Hell, it's looking at me!
It's staring at me!
This isn't much different from a crab!
んなもん ｶﾆとたいして 変わんないｱﾙ！
ｶﾆにﾀｺに 貝にｱﾝｺｳ！
Crabs, squid, shellfish, and goosefish!
ｹﾞﾃﾓﾉほどうまいって 銀ちゃん 言ってたｱﾙ！
Gin-chan said that the uglier it looks, the better it tastes!
That's not the problem here!
そういう問題じゃねえんだよ！ おいしくても➡
Doesn't matter how good it tastes, I just can't eat this monster!
こんな化け物食べるのは ﾑﾘだって言ってんの！
目つぶるｱﾙ｡ 口につっこんでやるから｡
Close your eyes and I'll shove it in your mouth.
You're not allowed to use your hands.
[ﾏｲｸ]手を使ってはいけませんよ｡ あっと そうこうしている間に➡
As we speak, Team Shirino has managed to catch up!
巳厘野衆ﾁｰﾑが！
Shinpachi! Hurry!
新八 早く！ 先に食べるｱﾙ！
Eat before they do!
くそっ こうなりゃﾔｹだ｡
Damn it, screw it!
I'll just pretend I'm doing it for Ururun Taizaiki!
[Note: Documentary show where celebrities homestay in foreign countries.]
ｳﾙﾙﾝ滞在記に 行ったつもりでいく!!
Damn it! Just a little farther!
くそ あともうちょい！
おい 何やってるｱﾙか｡ いや あの…｡
Hey, what are you doing?
No, uh...
My first kiss...
ﾌｧｰｽﾄｷｽ… いやなんでもない｡
No, nothing...
Huh?
Let me recover.
気を取り直していこ…｡ (ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ)しも…｡
Me too...
(ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ)私も初めてだった…｡
It was also my first...
え…｡
Well, what an unexpected turn of events!
[ﾏｲｸ]おっと これは思わぬﾊﾌﾟﾆﾝｸﾞ｡
[ﾏｲｸ]偶然にも ﾊﾟﾝとﾊﾌﾟﾆﾝｸﾞｷｽを 交わしてしまったようです！
We have an accidental kiss with the Pan!
Who gives a damn?! Just hurry up!
どうでもいいから 早くしろ！ 何がﾋｭｰ!?
What's with the wolf-whistling?!
食え！ 早く食え！
Eat it!
Hurry up and eat it!
M-My bad! I didn't mean to do that.
す すみません｡ そういうつもりじゃ…｡
なかったんです｡
I'm sorry to, well,
ごめんなさい こんな形で…｡
take your important first time like this...
その大切な初めて 奪っちゃって｡
べ 別に… 気にしてないから｡
I don't really mind...
Why are you blushing?!
なんで 顔赤くなってんだ！ わかんねえよ！
I don't get it!
おいなんだ このﾌﾜﾌﾜした空気！
What's with the fluffy atmosphere?!
なんで ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ食い競争で こんな空気になるんだ！
How do you go from a Pandemonium-eating race to this?!
《な なんだよ ﾊﾌﾟﾆﾝｸﾞｷｽしちゃったくらいで➡
Why am I so concerned about an accidental kiss...
こんなﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ… べ 別に 関係ねえよｷｽくらい》
It doesn't matter if I kissed this Pandemonium...
おい ﾓﾉﾛｰｸﾞやってるﾋﾏがあんなら 早く食え！
Hey! If you have time to start monologuing, eat the damn thing!
《そもそも あれはｷｽっていうか 事故みたいなものだったし｡
That was just an accident, not even a real kiss...
べ 別に ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさんは 好き好んで➡
It's not like Pandemonium-san wanted to kiss me...
ﾎﾞｸとｷｽしたわけじゃないし》
ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさんって誰!? ｸﾗｽﾒｲﾄ!?
Who the hell is Pandemonium-san?!
A classmate?!
And it doesn't even matter right now...
《つうか そんなこと 別に今は関係ないし》
Huh?
つうか 誰だこれ！ ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさん こんな顔してたっけ!?
Who the hell is this?!
Was this how Pandemonium-san looked?!
もっと ﾍﾞﾍﾘｯﾄみたいな 顔してなかったっけ!?
Didn't it have a face like a Behelit?!
[Note: From the manga "Berserk"]
《あれ おかしいぞ｡
Huh? That's weird...
あれ なんでこんなに ﾄﾞｷﾄﾞｷしてんだ｡
Huh?
Why is my heart beating so fast...?
ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさんって こんなに かわいかったっけ｡
Was Pandemonium-san always so cute?
This is bad!
まずい｡ なんかどんどん 食べづらくなっていく》
It's getting harder to eat this...
おい 新八 何やってるね｡ 早く食べるｱﾙ｡
Hey, Shinpachi.
What are you doing? Hurry up and eat it.
Um, right...
I'm sorry!
すみません！ どっか 変なとこ当たりました？
Did I touch you somewhere weird?
いや… 胸に…｡
No...
My chest...
Chest?!
胸!? ごめんなさい！ そんなつもりじゃ…｡
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!
大丈夫 わかってるから｡
It's okay.
I know...
ごめん ﾄﾞｷﾄﾞｷしちゃって｡ つい…｡
My heart started racing so much that I...
次は 声出さないように ｶﾞﾏﾝするから｡
Next time, I'll try to keep myself from making any noise.
Stop!
やめろ!! ﾄﾞｷﾄﾞｷがとまらねえ!!
My heart's gonna burst!
Is he an idiot?
ﾊﾞｶなの？ あの子ﾊﾞｶなの？
A complete idiot?!
《どんどん 食べづらくなっていく｡
It's getting more and more difficult to eat you...
どんどん ｷﾐに惹かれていく…》
I'm falling harder and harder for you...
Hey! Cut this out!
おい いいかげんにしろ！ ﾊﾟﾝ食い競争やってんだよ!!
This is a Pan-eating race!
Why are you falling in love with the Pan?!
なんで ﾊﾟﾝとの恋が 始まろうとしてんだ！
You don't need to hold back.
遠慮しないでいいのよ｡ どうぞ 私を食べて｡
Please eat me.
やめろ!! もう余計なことしゃべるな!!
Stop!
Stop talking!
初めてだったけど 私にとっては 最後のｷｯｽだった｡
It was my first time,
but it was also my last kiss.
もう 心残りはないわ｡
I have no more regrets.
ありがとう｡ 最後に 私を女の子にしてくれて｡
Thank you for making me feel like a girl at the end...
I can't do it!
《ﾑﾘだ！ こんなｽﾃｷな子➡
How could I eat this lovely girl?!
ﾎﾞｸには 食べることなんてできない》
さっきから 何やってるｱﾙか このﾊﾞｶ｡
What the hell is this idiot rambling about?
Eat me quickly.
(ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ) 早く私を食べてください｡
If I'm going to be eaten, I would rather it be by you.
食べられるなら あなたがいいです｡
Shinpachi, eat it.
新八 早く食べろよ｡
Meanwhile, Team Shirino has finished the Pan!
[ﾏｲｸ]そうこうしている間に 巳里野衆ﾁｰﾑ➡
ついに ﾊﾟﾝをたいらげた｡ 結野衆ﾁｰﾑ 敗北決定か～!?
Is Team Ketsuno about to lose?!
早くしないと… そうだわ｡
You must hurry!
That's right!
Drop me to the floor so it's easier to eat me!
食べやすいように 私を床に落とすの｡ 早くお願い！
Please hurry!
そういう問題じゃないです！
That's not it...
Your kindness is preventing me from...
あなたの そういう優しいところが １番の障害…｡
Shinpachi, outta the way!
新八どくね｡ 私に任せとけ！
Let me take care of this!
ほあちゃ～!!
Pandemonium-san!
ﾊﾟｯ… ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさん!!
What the hell are you doing?!
何しとんじゃ お前は！
Hey! Give Pandemonium-san back!
おい～!! ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさんを返せ！
ﾌﾊｯﾊｯﾊ｡ どうやら 一戦目は 我ら 巳里野衆の勝ちのようだな｡
It appears that we have won the first match!
まだまだ～!!
Not yet!
Whoa! Team Ketsuno has launched an attack!
[ﾏｲｸ]お～っと 結野衆ﾁｰﾑ 突如 直接攻撃にうつった～！
[ﾏｲｸ]執拗に腹を攻め続ける！ これは… ひょっとして これは｡
A flurry of blows to the stomach
This is...?
Could it be...?!
出せ～っ！ ｺﾗ～!!
Spit it out!
Hmm? Where is it?
ん～ どこだろ｡ なかなか 見つからないね｡
I'm having a hard time finding it.
Oh, here it is.
あっ… あった｡ ２匹食ったから➡
This thing ate two of them so I can't tell which is which,
どっちが どっちだか わかんなくなっちゃったけど➡
どっちにするね 新八｡
but which one do you want, Shinpachi?
う～… げえ｡ 食えるかぁ!!
How can I eat that?!
[ﾏｲｸ]巳里野衆 ﾊﾟﾝを吐いて失格｡
The Shirino clan is disqualified for throwing up.
結野衆 ﾊﾟﾝを食することを拒否｡ これも失格｡
The Ketsuno clan refused to eat and is also disqualified.
The first match ends in a draw!
一戦目 引き分け！
Bah, a draw?
ﾁｯ 引き分けか… まぁ いいｱﾙ｡
Oh well.
It's mostly Shinpachi's fault.
責任は ほとんど新八にあるｱﾙ｡
I did what I could.
私は やれることはやったね｡
ほとんど お前のせいだろうが｡
It's mostly your fault.
That was one hell of a grotesque fight.
どんだけ ｸﾞﾛﾃｽｸな闘い 繰り広げてんだ この野郎！
気持悪くなっちゃったじゃねえか｡ (清明)いや よくやってくれた｡
I feel sick now, damn it!
No, you've done well.
呪法も使わず 鬼神をも ひれ伏せさせる➡
To be honest, I was amazed by your ability to knock out that fiend without any magic.
あの働き 正直 驚いたぞ｡
So you finally trust us, bro-bro?
ようやく信用してくれましたか ｵﾆｲﾀﾏ｡
Please don't be sad, Mr. Shinpachi.
(ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ)悲しまないで くださいませ 新八様｡
私は あなたの心の中に 生き続けますのよ｡
I will live on in your heart.
ﾊﾟｯ… ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさん!?
Pandemonium-san?
ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑさん｡ ﾎﾞｸ忘れないよ｡ ｷﾐのやわらかい唇の感触を…｡
Pandemonium-san...
I will never forget your soft lips...
(ﾊﾟﾝﾃﾞﾓﾆｳﾑ)私も… 忘れません｡ あなたのやわらかい頭を｡
And I will never forget...
about your soft-headedness.
I appreciate the help.
協力には感謝する｡ だが➡
But I want you to leave if it gets dangerous.
危険とあらば すぐに引いてもらうぞ｡
Christel won't be able to smile if you all perish.
主らがいなくなっては ｸﾘｽﾃﾙの笑顔もｸｿもないからの｡
Right back at you, bro-bro.
そのまんま返しますよ ｵﾆｲﾀﾏ｡
Who are you calling your bro-bro?
誰がｵﾆｲﾀﾏじゃ 清明と呼べ｡
Call me Seimei.
婿のことは ｸﾘｽﾃﾙに聞かぬと了承できぬが➡
I won't be able to name you her husband without Christel's permission,
我が友とするくらいなら ﾜｼの一存で決められる｡
but I have the authority to consider you a friend.
いや… いいです｡ (清明)呪い殺されたいのか ｷｻﾏは｡
Nah, no thanks.
Do you want me to curse you to death?
Then we will begin the second match!
[ﾏｲｸ]それでは 二回戦を始めます｡
[ﾏｲｸ]なお 一回戦目 引き分けの結果から➡
And since the first match ended in a draw,
the second match will settle the battle.
この二回戦目が 事実上の決戦となります｡
A contest involving a 4 on 4 Tag Team Mystic Shoot Death Match.
[ﾏｲｸ]勝負は ２ﾀｯｸﾞ 総勢８人によって 行われるｶﾞﾁﾝｺ呪法 ﾃﾞｽﾏｯﾁ｡
[ﾏｲｸ]どちらかの陣営が 全滅するまで闘ってもらいます！
The fight will continue until one side is destroyed!
Go, Gin-chan! Sister lover!
(神楽)いけ～！ 銀ちゃん 妹萌え～!!
この雲を… この雨を吹き飛ばせ～!!
Send these clouds!
Send this rain!
Flying away!
(歓声)
勝負は 10ｶｳﾝﾄ制｡
The contest will follow a ten count rule.
ﾘﾝｸﾞに出られるのは １ﾀｯｸﾞまで｡
Each side can only have one tag team inside the ring.
Otherwise, use a slap to trade places.
[ﾏｲｸ]交代は ﾀｯﾁによって行ってください｡
ﾌﾌﾌ… 清明｡ この世に 最強の陰陽師は２人もいらぬ｡
Seimei, this world doesn't need two men with the title of greatest Onmyoji.
これで すべてを 終わりにしようではないか｡
Let's end it now.
長きに亘って続いた 巳里野家と結野家の騒乱…｡
The long struggle between Shirino and Ketsuno...
A spiral of fate that's been lined with hate...
憎しみに満ちた因縁の螺旋…｡
Now let the match begin!
[ﾏｲｸ]それでは 勝負開始！
Wait, I was still talking.
あ… ちょっと しゃべってる最中なんだけど｡
長かった？ もうちょっと ｺﾝﾊﾟｸﾄにしたほうがよかった？
Did I take too long?
Should I have gone with something more compact?
道満様！ 憎き結野衆の血を根絶やし➡
Lord Doman!
Exterminate the hated Ketsuno clan to usher in a golden age for the Shirino clan!
我ら 巳里野衆の栄光の時代を！
いけ～ 銀ちゃん！ 妹萌え～！
Go, Gin-chan! Sister lover!
結野ｱﾅに 本当の笑顔を！
Bring back Ms. Ketsuno's true smile!
I'll let someone else warm you up.
まずは 露払いだ｡ 層安｡
Soan, show them a thing or two.
ﾔﾂらに 目にものを見せてやれ…｡
おら～!!
Oh! Team Ketsuno has launched the first attack!
[ﾏｲｸ]あ～っと 結野衆ﾁｰﾑ いきなりの先制攻撃！
まだ式神も…｡
Too soon!
Haven't summoned my shikigami...
おかしなまじない使う前に 潰してやらぁ！
I'll beat the crap out of you
肉弾戦なら ﾃﾒｴらみたいな もやしっ子に➡
before you can use your funny magic!
負けはしねえんだよ!!
You wimps can't beat me in a physical brawl!
Lord Doman!
道満様！ ﾀｯﾁﾀｯﾁ！
[Famous line from the opening song of the Touch anime series.]
Touch! Touch! Touch me here!
ここにﾀｯﾁ！
ぐわぁ～っ!!
Oops, stepped in some poop.
あっ ｳﾝｺ ふんじゃったでござんす｡
[ﾏｲｸ]お～っと！ 外道丸 道満選手を逃しません！
Wow!
Gedomaru isn't letting Doman escape!
おい お前さん 結野ｱﾅの 元旦那らしいじゃねえか｡
Hey you.
I hear you're Ms. Ketsuno's ex-husband.
元旦那ってことは 何かい？
If you're her ex-husband,
結野ｱﾅの あんな… こんな…｡
that means you've done this and that
いろんな…｡
and all kinds of
weather phenomena with her! Is that it? Huh?!
気象観測済みってことか こらぁ～!!
ぎゃぁ～っ!!
All kinds of thunderstorm warnings?!
いろんな… 大雨警報かぁ～！
ぐわぁ～！ いろんな… 洪水警報かぁ～！
All kinds of flood warnings?!
うおぉ～｡
銀時様 今でござんす｡
Master Gintoki, now is your chance!
よっしゃ～！ 決めるぞ！
Right on! Time to finish this!
結野流奥義！
The Ketsuno Style Ultimate Attack!
ｹﾂﾉﾎﾞﾝﾊﾞ～!!
Ketsuno(Ass) Bomber!
[ﾏｲｸ]必殺技 炸裂～!!
An explosive deadly attack!
ぐわぁ～！ [ﾏｲｸ]これは道満選手 早くも敗北…｡
Doman has already lost...
ぐっ 消えたぁ～!!
He dis-
-appeared?!
あぁ～っ!!
Oh. Sorry, Master Gintoki.
あっ ごめん 銀時様｡ ﾋ… ﾋ… ﾋ…｡
What's going on?
どういうことだ？ 道満さんは いったいどこに？
Where's Doman-san?
ｸｸｸｸ！
Fools.
愚か者どもが！ 我が 術中にはまったか｡
Did you fall under my spell?
わからぬか？ ｷｻﾏらが戦っていたのは➡
Can't you tell?
You were fighting a mere illusion.
我が作りし 幻にすぎぬ｡
ｵﾚは まだ ここから 一歩たりとも動いてはおらんぞ｡
I haven't moved a single step from this spot.
An illusion?!
幻だって？ ｷｻﾏらごときでは➡
You can't even touch me, much less hurt me.
ｵﾚの体を傷つけるどころか 触れることすら叶わぬわ｡
あの… 道満様｡ 尻から何か垂れてますけど｡
Uh, Lord Doman...
There's something dripping from your ass.
違うからね｡ これは 持病の痔だからね｡
It's not what you think.
This is just chronic hemorrhoids, I swear.
いや ﾏｼﾞだからね！ 何？ その目！
No, I'm serious!
What's with those looks?!
あ～ わかった｡ じゃあ見せてやるよ！
Okay, fine! I'll show you then!
証拠に立派な ｲﾎﾞを見せてやるよ！
I'll show you my perfect hemorrhoids as proof!
[ﾏｲｸ]道満選手 幻術を使ったはいいが➡
Doman used an illusion,
but he appears to have suffered severe damage to his anus.
肛門へのﾀﾞﾒｰｼﾞは 深刻なようです｡
幻 使った意味なくね!?
What was the point in using an illusion?!
ｵﾚが尻に ﾓﾛﾅｲﾝを塗っている間に ﾔﾂらを片付けろ｡
Finish them off while I put some medicine on my ass.
もはや 敵は虫の息｡
The enemy is on its last legs.
ｻﾞｺは さっさと片づ けて 清明を引きずり出してこい｡
Finish off the small fry and draw Seimei out.
出でよ 梵天丸！
I summon you, Bontenmaru!
Master Gintoki, get a grip.
銀時様 しっかりしてくだせえ｡
このままでは やられちまいやす｡ あっしにできることは？
You're going to be killed if you don't do something.
Anything I can do?
ﾀ… ﾀﾏが… 上に あがってる…｡
M-My balls...
A hernia...
Push them back...
おろしてくれ もとの玉座に…➡
Back down please...
戻してくれ… たまだけに…｡
to their original throne...
うまいこと言ってる 場合じゃないでござんす｡
This is no time for you making jokes.
腰を叩けば いいでござんすか？
Will hitting your back work?
Y-Yes...
そ… そう！ お願い… 早く｡
Please do...
Hurry...!
ｶﾑﾊﾞｯｸ！…ﾝﾀﾏぁ～!!
Come back, xxxxicles!
How far were you trying to push it back down to?!
どこまで おろすつもりだ？
Well, I had to deliver an equivalent shock.
いや さっきと同じくらい 衝撃与えなきゃ ﾀﾞﾒでござんしょ｡
ﾀﾏ おりてくる前に ｵﾚが人生 おりることになるわ！
You were going to drop my life before you dropped my balls...
人を撲殺するつもりか？
Trying to beat me to death?
ん？ ていうか ちょっと待て｡
Huh?
Hold on a second.
おい これ… ﾀﾏをおろすどころか➡
Isn't this...
You didn't just drop my balls!
これ すそから …ﾝﾀﾏ 転がり出てんじゃねえか！
They're rolling around on the floor!
いや ﾀﾏが すそから 転がり出るってどんだけ!?
How is it even possible for your balls to fall out?!
どうすれば そんなことになるんですか？
どうしてくれんだ これ～！ 戻せ！
What are you going to do about this?!
Fix this!
もとに戻してくれぇ～!!
Put them back!
手が回らんでござんす｡ 清明様 ｻﾎﾟｰﾄを｡
I'm busy.
Lord Seimei, please assist.
ﾁｯ しかたない｡
Bah, I suppose I have no choice.
[ﾏｲｸ]あ～っと これはすごい！
Oh! Amazing!
[ﾏｲｸ]清明選手 ﾘﾝｸﾞ外から呪法により➡
Seimei has instantly restored the balls to their throne without entering the ring!
またたく間に ﾀﾏを玉座に戻した！ させるか！
I won't let that happen!
あぁ～っ!!
ｼﾞｬﾏをするな 道満！
Don't interfere, Doman!
I won't let you have your way, Seimei!
ｷｻﾏの思いどおりには させんぞ！ 清明!!
[ﾏｲｸ]これは思わぬところで 場外乱闘が始まってしまったぁ！
An unexpected battle has erupted outside the ring!
[ﾏｲｸ]清明選手 道満選手 …ﾝﾀﾏの玉座をめぐって➡
Seimei and Doman
are engaged in an intense battle over xxxxicles that can't be followed by the naked eye!
壮絶な 験力比べを繰り広げている!!
The hell are you people doing with my balls?!
人の…ﾝﾀﾏで何やってんだ！ ﾃﾒｴら！
Curse you! Go up!
(清明)おのれ 上じゃぁ～！ (道満)下だぁ～！
Down you go!
(清明)上と見せかけ下じゃ！
I fake up and go down!
(道満)下と見せかけ やっぱり下だ！
I fake down and go down!
(清明)ｽﾄﾚｰﾄに下じゃ！ ｲﾀﾀﾀﾀ！
I go straight down!
Ow, ow, ow!
おい ﾃﾒｴら！ 結局 ２人とも➡
Hey, freaks!
You're both just smashing them against the floor!
地面に 叩きつけてるだけじゃねえか！
ｸﾞｯ！ このままでは らちがあかぬ！
There's no end to this.
道満！ ひとつ提案がある！
Doman, I have a proposal.
What is it, Seimei?
なんだ!? 清明！
There are two balls.
ﾀﾏは ２つあるんだ｡ ここは 右のﾀﾏをﾜｼ｡
I will take the right,
左のﾀﾏを ｷｻﾏのものとし おのおの操ろうではないか｡
while you take the left.
Each in control of one.
なんでだ～!? なんで 他人の…ﾝﾀﾏ 勝手に分け合ってんだ～!?
Why?!
Why are you dividing up my balls?!
Amusing.
おもしろい！ 右左のﾀﾏを➡
A battle where we each control one ball and make them fight.
おのおの操り闘わせ 勝敗を決せんというのだな？
なんで 闘わせるんだ!? いったい 何の対決!?
Why are you making them fight?!
What kind of fight is this?!
ゆけ～ 佐介!! 誰が 佐介!?
Go, Sasuke!
[Note: From manga "Sket Dance". Not from Naruto.] [GTO1 - Sasuke - Taste in ladies: kind girls.]
Who the hell is Sasuke?!
行け～ 佑助!! さりげに 左右にちなむな～!!
Go, Yusuke!
[Note: Lead character of manga "Sket Dance".] [GTO2 - Yusuke - Taste in ladies: ?????]
[Note: Each name contains kanji for left and right.] [GTO2 - Yusuke - Taste in ladies: ?????]
Don't name them by which side they're on!
[ﾏｲｸ]お～っと！ ﾘﾝｸﾞの上で➡
Oh! We have a second intense battle outside the ring!
もう１つの壮絶な闘いが 始まった～!!
ｲﾃｯ！ ｲﾃｯ！ やめろ ﾃﾒｴら～!!
Ow!
Cut that out, damn it!
[ﾏｲｸ]…ﾝﾀﾏに 思いをのせた～！ …ﾝﾀﾏによる代理戦争！
They are channeling the xxxxicles!
A proxy battle through xxxxicles!
[ﾏｲｸ]激しく ぶつかり合うﾀﾏとﾀﾏ！
Ball crashing against ball!
[ﾏｲｸ]勝利をおさめ 玉座につくは 果たして 右か!? それとも左か!?
Will the right one reach the throne?! Or will the left one prevail?!
どっちも つかせろ～!! ｲﾀﾞﾀﾞﾀﾞ！
Send them both back!
Ouch! Ouch!
潰れる！ やめてくれ～！
They're being crushed!
Please stop!
Get along with each other!
仲よくしろ～!!
You two are twins, remember?!
ﾃﾒｴら！ 実は 双子だろうが！
The Sket-dan and student council may do different things,
[Note: Referring to a storyline from "Sket Dance".]
ｽｹｯﾄ団と生徒会 やってることはﾊﾞﾗﾊﾞﾗでも➡
人を助けようという心意気は 一緒だろうが～!!
but they both want to help people in the end!
誰か ﾔﾂらのｹﾝｶを止めてくれ～!!
Somebody stop this fight!
Will that do it?
これでいいでござんすか？
[ﾏｲｸ]玉砕～!! 坂田選手 これは立ち上がれません！
Crushed!
Sakata won't be able to recover from this!
金ちゃん!! 誰が 金ちゃん？
Kin-chan!
Who are you calling Kin-chan?
[ﾏｲｸ]ｶｳﾝﾄをとります！
Starting the count!
ｶｳﾝﾄなど 必要ないわ～!!
Who needs a count?!
その首 叩き落として ﾘﾝｸﾞの外に捨ててくれる～!!
I'll crush his head and toss him out of the ring!
Gedomaru!
外道丸！
[ﾏｲｸ]結野衆ﾁｰﾑ！
Team Ketsuno has successfully pulled off a switch with Seimei!
[ﾏｲｸ]なんとか 清明選手と 交代を果たしました～!!
おい しっかりしろ！ 銀時様｡
Hey! Get a grip!
Master Gintoki.
金ちゃん!! [ﾏｲｸ]しかし 坂田選手➡
Kin-chan!
However, Sakata is not coming to!
意識が戻らない！ もはや 使い物になるとは思えません！
He may never stand again.
If you get my drift.
[ﾏｲｸ]いろんな意味で！
Forgive me for letting this go this far...
(清明)こんなになるまで すまない！
ﾜｼが 不甲斐ないばかりに…｡
If I wasn't a failure...
急げば まだ間に合うかもしれん！
There's still hope if we hurry!
出でよ 葛葉！
I summon you, Kuzunoha!
(葛葉)お呼びでしょうか？ 清明様｡
You called, Lord Seimei?
葛葉 外道丸とともに この者に 治癒の術を｡
Kuzunoha, join Gedomaru in healing this man.
お前は 佐介｡ 外道丸は ぼっすんを頼む！
You take Sasuke while Gedomaru takes Bossun.
[Note: Bossun=Yusuke's nickname.]
Very well.
御意｡ ってか ぼっすんって誰!?
And who the hell is Bossun?!
清明様｡
Lord Seimei.
Do not fear.
案ずるな｡ あとは ﾜｼに任せておけ｡
Leave the rest to me.
ﾌﾊﾊﾊﾊ！ 血迷ったか清明！
Have you lost your mind, Seimei?
ただでさえ 江戸中に 式神を配して➡
Your shikigami have been dispatched all over Edo, limiting your powers,
力を分散させている お前が➡
最後の一兵をも 他者のために 使い捨てるというのか？
and now you use your last one on another person?
An Onmyoji without shikigami is like a samurai without his sword!
式神を持たぬ陰陽師など➡
刃を持たぬ侍と同じだ！
You believe you can defeat Bontenmaru bare-handed?!
丸腰で この梵天丸に 勝てると思うてか～!!
清明さん!!
Seimei-san!
(清明)もう 何も見えぬ｡ んっ!?
I can no longer see...
(清明)道満… どうやら ﾜｼは➡
Doman,
it appears that I've lost sight of myself again.
また 目が くらんでしまったらしい｡
だが こたびは➡
But this time,
使命も名誉も 格式も幕府も➡
I care not about duty, honor, tradition, the Bakufu...
ｷｻﾏら巳厘野衆との 長きに亘る因縁も➡
Nor of our long struggle with the Shirino clan...
I see nothing at all...
何も見えぬ｡
Impossible!
ﾊﾞｶな！ 式神の一撃を 生身で!?
He withstood an attack from a shikigami unarmed?!
あっ… あれは！
What's this...?!
清明の力が 急激に増大していく！
Seimei's power is rapidly growing...!
(道満)まさか… 清明 ｷｻﾏ！
You couldn't have...!
Seimei, you bastard...
You've unsummoned the countless shikigami watching over Edo
すべての力を 己一個に！
to focus all of your power!
Your actions will cause you to be dismissed as lead guardian of Edo!
そんなことをすれば ｷｻﾏは…➡
江戸守護の任 解かれることになるぞ!!
すべてを見通す目など ﾜｼには もういらぬ！
I no longer have a need to watch over all!
たった一つ…｡
I only want one thing...
ｱｲﾂの笑顔が見られれば それでいい！
I only want to see her smile...
That's all.
♪♪～
道満 来るがいい！
Come get me, Doman!
結野衆頭目 結野清明の真の力 とくと見せてやる！
I shall show you the true power of the head of the Ketsuno clan, Seimei Ketsuno!
[To Be Continued]
[Preview]
That's Antenmaru...
He was sealed away by the Ketsuno and Shirino clan a millennium ago.
Master Gintoki, this isn't the time to be laying around.
The next episode...
"Never Losing That Smile."
[The tragedy that took place between the Ketsunos and Shirinos one-thousand years ago repeats!]
[Stand tall, ball-less Gin-chan, aka Kin-chan. Though the rules have been a bit strict lately, remain strong!!]
[See you next time.]