[This episode comes from an end-of-the-year Christmas story that ran in JUMP over New Years.]
[The dream of the girl Kagura was playing came true. He was the real Santa Claus!!]
The very first very merry contest to determine who the real Santa Claus is!
(神楽)第１回 ﾁｷﾁｷ ｸﾘｽﾏｽ ﾎﾝﾄのｻﾝﾀは誰でしょね？
ｻﾝﾀｸﾛｰｽ 決定戦!!
最初は 誰が来るｱﾙか？
Who's up first?
(近藤)ｵﾚが行く！ 必ずや➡
I'll go.
I promise to become Otae-san's Santa.
お妙さんのｻﾝﾀになってみせる！
よし！ じゃあ ｽﾀﾝﾊﾞｲ ｱﾙ！
Okay, stand by then.
姉御は お母さん役をお願いね！
Boss lady, can you play the part of mother?
(長谷川)じゃあｵﾚは お父さんか｡ なんか照れるなぁ｡
Then I'm playing the father?
This is a little embarrassing.
I'll never accept Hasegawa-san as my brother-in-law!
長谷川さんが お婿さんなんて 断じて ﾎﾞｸは認めません！
I'll do it then.
じゃあ ｵﾚがやろう｡ (九兵衛)いや ﾎﾞｸが｡
No, I will.
ﾃﾒｴら ｻﾝﾀだろうが!!
You're supposed to be Santas!
つうか ﾎﾞｸ 何役？
And what am I playing?
["Everybody's a Santa"]
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Christmas!
♪♪(神楽)｢ｼﾞﾝｸﾞｯﾍﾞｰ ｼﾞﾝｸﾞｯﾍﾞｰ ｸﾘｽﾏｽ｣
できた！ ﾏﾏ ｸﾘｽﾏｽﾂﾘｰの飾り付け 終わったよ！
All done!
Mommy, I'm done decorating the Christmas tree.
How wonderful!
(お妙)まぁ ｽﾃｷ！ やっぱり ﾑﾘしてでも用意してよかったわね｡
It was worth the effort!
＜神楽:ここは どこかの国の ごくごくありふれた平和な家庭＞
This is a common household that you could find in any country.
どこが ありふれてんだ!! つうか なんで ﾂﾘｰ役？
How is this a common household?!
And why am I the tree?!
＜今年も 私たちは ごくごくありふれた➡
We were having another common and peaceful Christmas.
平和で おだやかなｸﾘｽﾏｽを 過ごしていた＞
何 一時停止っぽく 動き 止めてんだ？ 腹立つ！
What are you two standing like a freeze-frame shot for?!
It's annoying!
I couldn't move if I wanted to!
こっちは これから ずっと動けねえんだよ！
(神楽)ﾏﾏ 今年こそ きっと ｻﾝﾀさん 来てくれるよね！
Mommy, I'm sure that Santa will come this year!
ﾊﾟｰﾃｨｰ用のﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲを つまみ食いしてしまうような➡
He might not come to visit a little girl who sneaks a bite of a meat pie that's for the party.
食いしん坊さんのところには 来てくれないかも｡
もう ﾏﾏったら！
Geez, Mommy!
ｳﾌﾌ！ ｼﾞｮｰｸよ！
It was only a joke.
ｻﾝﾀさんには 内緒にしておくわ｡
I'll keep it a secret from Santa.
腹立つ｡ ｱﾒﾘｶﾝ小芝居はいいから 早く寝て ｻﾝﾀ待てよ！
This is annoying!
Oh, come on!
Stop pretending to be all American!
Oh, you're so hopeless.
Go to sleep and wait for Santa!
ﾊﾊﾝ ﾑﾘもないさ｡ ﾏﾏのﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲは ﾃｷｻｽ一だからね！
You can't blame her!
Since Mommy's meat pie is the best in Texas!
ﾃｷｻｽなの？ ここ！
We're in Texas?!
I'd love to let Santa try some!
ｻﾝﾀにも ぜひ食べてほしいもんだ｡ おっと あれ以上 太らせたら➡
Oops, if he puts on any weight, his reindeer will complain to us!
ﾄﾅｶｲから 苦情がくるかな？ ｱﾊﾊﾊﾊ！
Her daddy's annoying too!
ﾊﾟﾊﾟまで うぜえよ｡ 家族揃って ｳｲｯﾄにとんでて うぜえよ！
The whole family's being witty and annoying!
見て ﾏﾏ！ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘが ﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲにたかってるわ！
Look, Mommy!
There's a cockroach eating your meat pie!
あら 大変！
Oh no!
He's a cockroach?!
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘかい～!! どんだけ ｳｲｯﾄにとんだｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ？
What sort of witty cockroach is this?!
お父さん役 やるんじゃなかったのかよ！
Wasn't he supposed to be the father?!
Must be the head of all those cockroaches!
たぶん 最近 出てた ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘの親玉だわ｡
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘのﾊﾟﾊﾟ？ 出演した意味ねえだろ！
The cockroach daddy?!
Why is he even here then?!
じゃあ ﾊﾟﾊﾟは どこ？
Where's the real daddy then?!
Let us offer this pie to Daddy.
(お妙)このﾊﾟｲは ﾊﾟﾊﾟの仏前に 供えておきましょう｡
なんで ﾃｷｻｽに仏壇？
Why is there a Buddhist altar in Texas?
Daddy loved his meat pies!
(神楽)ﾊﾟﾊﾟ ﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲ 好きだったもんね｡
きっと 喜んでくれるよ！
I'm sure he'll appreciate this!
How could he?!
喜ぶわけねえだろ！ 今や ただの ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘﾊﾟｲだろ！
It's a cockroach pie now!
＜私のﾊﾟﾊﾟは ﾍﾟﾄｻﾑ戦争の英雄｡
My daddy was a hero in Petnam.
５年前のｸﾘｽﾏｽ 戦地から私のもとに届いたのは➡
On Christmas Day five years ago, I didn't receive the present I asked for.
約束していたﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄではなく➡
ﾊﾟﾊﾟが 戦死したという知らせだった＞
Instead, I received notice that Daddy had been killed in action.
Say, this is starting to sound unnecessarily depressing.
ねぇ なんか ﾑﾀﾞに 重たい話になってきたんだけど｡
＜敵と交戦中 懐から 何か落としたﾊﾟﾊﾟは➡
In the middle of battle, something fell from Daddy's pocket.
それを取りに戻り 蜂の巣にされた｡
He returned for it, only to be riddled by bullets.
ﾊﾟﾊﾟの死体は 原形がわからなくなるほど➡
Daddy's corpse was beyond recognition, from all the pie...
ﾊﾟｲまみれだったという＞
That was just a pie-throwing contest!
ただの ﾊﾟｲ投げ祭りじゃねえか!!
How was he killed in action?!
なんで戦死してんの！ いったい どんな英雄だったの？ ﾊﾟﾊﾟ！
What kind of hero was your daddy?!
Daddy's pie-covered hand was clutching his present for me, the meat pie I'd asked for.
＜ﾊﾟｲまみれの ﾊﾟﾊﾟの腕には 私へのﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄ｡
約束した ﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲだった＞
Another pie?!
そこも～!? もういいだろ！ ﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲって言ってりゃ➡
Isn't that enough?!
If you think that mentioning meat pies makes you sound American, you're completely wrong!
ｱﾒﾘｶﾝな感じになると思ったら 大間違いだぞ!!
＜ あれから 五度目のｸﾘｽﾏｽが きたけれど➡
This will be the fifth Christmas since.
I still haven't gotten my chance to eat that meat pie.
私は まだ あのﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲを つまみ食いできずにいる＞
できるわけねえだろ！
Of course you can't!
It's all looking like the Sea of Corruption from "Nausicaa"!
ﾅｳｼｶの腐海みたいに なってんじゃねえか！
＜私は ﾎﾝﾄは知っていた｡
I knew the truth all along.
たとえ ｻﾝﾀなんかが 来たところで➡
It won't matter if Santa comes,
私の本当に欲しいものは➡
I can no longer have what I want.
もう手に入らないことを＞
どうすればいいんだよ？ こんなの… いったい ｻﾝﾀさん➡
What the hell do you want here?!
What present is Santa supposed to bring you?!
何をﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄすれば正解なんだ？
＜翌朝 目を覚ました 彼女が目にしたものは…＞
The next morning, the girl woke up to find...
ふぁ～…｡
That her meat pie, a memento of her father, had been eaten.
＜無残に食い荒らされた 父の形見である ﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲ＞
Oh my god!
ｵｰ ﾏｲｶﾞｯ！ なんてことなの！
How awful!
ｻﾝﾀどころか 泥棒に入られるなんて｡
We've been visited by a thief, not Santa!
The worst possible morning.
Wow, I don't believe this!
＜最低の朝 最低のｸﾘｽﾏｽ｡
Jesus Christ!
The worst possible Christmas.
Goddamn it!
But oddly enough, she felt at peace.
でも 彼女は 不思議と おだやかな気分に包まれていた｡
I don't believe it!
自分を縛り続けていた 呪縛から解放されたように｡
Like a curse had been lifted from her.
Like her father had given her a push to move on.
父が 前に進めよと 背中を押してくれているように➡
感じたのだ｡
神様が 私の代わりに ﾐｰﾄﾊﾟｲを つまみ食いしてくれたのかな？
God must have eaten the pie for her.
神様が お腹をこわす絵を想像して➡
The girl chuckled as she pictured God getting an upset stomach.
くすりと笑った｡
But it hadn't been eaten by God or even a thief.
でも それは 神様の仕業でも➡
まして 泥棒の仕業でもなかった＞
["Merry Christmas"]
《ｻ… ｻﾝﾀさん!?》
Santa Claus?
って なるかぁ～!! どんなﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄだぁ～!!
The hell?!
How is that a present?!
身を挺して 彼女を苦しみから 解放したのが わからんのか！
You don't understand the agony I endured to release her from her suffering?
ｱﾝﾀが いろんなもん 便所で解放してっただけでしょ！
You released a whole lotta crap in the toilet, that's what you did!
あれは ｷｬｯﾂｱｲのｶｰﾄﾞ゛的な…｡
That was me leaving a calling card like in Cat's Eye.
[Note: From the manga series "Cat's Eye."]
We don't want a cat's crap!
ｲﾔだよ！ あんなもん残してく ｹｯﾂｱｲ！
(近藤)どうですか 判定のほうは!?
What's the judge's opinion?!
６点 30点 死!? お妙さん 何それ!?
6 points!
30 points!
Death?!
Otae-san, what's with that?!
Until death do us part, right?!
死ぬまで離さないって ことですよね！ そうですよね！
That must be it, right?!
神楽ちゃん｡ なんで意外に高得点なの？
Kagura-chan, why did you give a relatively high score?
The lead heroine performed admirably.
主役の女の子の演技が 光ってました｡
もっと他の演技も見てみたいです｡ ｵﾒｴのことじゃねえかよ！
I'm interested in seeing her perform more.
That was you!
長谷川さん これ 10点満点でしょ｡ なに 30って…｡
Hasegawa-san, isn't the highest possible score a 10?
Why did you give him a 30?
If there's one cockroach around, there's thirty more hiding.
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘを１匹見たら あと 30匹はいると思え｡
Is that some kind of warning?!
何の警告だよ！ ｲﾔだよ こんなｵｯｻﾝ あと30匹もいんの！
Who needs thirty old men!
よし 次はﾎﾞｸがいこう…｡
Okay, I'll go next.
じゃあ もう一度 ｽﾀﾝﾊﾞｲするｱﾙ｡
We'll need you to stand by again.
Say...
あの… 次は もう少し いい役くれない？
Can I get a better role this time?
Would you like a pachi?
(神楽)ﾊﾟｯﾁはいりませんか？
Please, just one is enough.
あの… １本だけでいいんです｡ ﾊﾟｯﾁはいりませんか？
Would you like a pachi?
＜私は どこの街にもいる➡
I'm just a common little pachi girl that you could find in any city.
ごくごくありふれた ただの ﾊﾟｯﾁ売りの少女…＞
The hell is a little pachi girl?!
ﾊﾟｯﾁ売りの少女って何だぁ～!!
＜今日は ｸﾘｽﾏｽｲﾌﾞ｡
Today is Christmas Eve.
Everyone walking around town looks so happy,
街ゆく人はみんな 楽しそうにしているけれど➡
私は いつものとおり ﾊﾟｯﾁを売るだけ｡
but I'm selling pachi here, as always.
そうしなければ 生きていけないから…＞
I have to in order to stay alive.
Could you explain what you mean by a pachi?!
だから ﾊﾟｯﾁって何だぁ!!
Would you like a pachi?
あの ﾊﾟｯﾁは…｡ いらねえよ｡
No thanks.
Would you like a pachi?
あの ﾊﾟｯﾁ…｡ 何の役に立つんだ そんなもん｡
That stuff is worthless.
＜ やっぱり 今日もﾊﾟｯﾁは売れない…＞
And once again, I wasn't able to sell any pachi today.
何か ﾍｺむんだけど！ しかも全員 姉上が役やってるし｡
This is kinda depressing!
Not to mention Sis is playing every other part!
こんなんじゃ おｳﾁに帰れない｡ おｳﾁに帰ったら また…｡
I won't be able to go home now.
If I go home, he'll just...
((ﾊﾟｯﾁをすべて売り切るまで ｳﾁには入れないと言ったはずだ！
I said that I won't let you in until you've sold all those pachi!
さっさと酒代稼いでこい！ この役立たず！))
Go make me more beer money!
Useless girl!
I see, your worthless old man is working you to the bone.
そうか… ろくでなしのお父さんに こき使われてるんだ｡
こりゃ 帰れないね…｡
You won't be able to go home then.
No more...
もう… もう ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘだらけの家には➡
I don't want to go back to a roach-infested house!
帰りたくない！ ｺｲﾂもかいっ！
Again?!
さ… 寒い…｡
It's cold...
＜私は凍える体で 必死に ﾊﾟｯﾁを売ろうとしたけど➡
I desperately tried to sell pachi as I slowly freeze in this weather,
but my body would no longer move.
もう 体は 言うことをきかなくなっていた＞
Which one of us looks colder here, huh?!
どっちが 凍えそうだと思ってんだ！
To keep myself from drifting off, I decided to use one pachi.
＜遠のく意識を 必死につなぎとめ➡
私は １本だけ ﾊﾟｯﾁを使ってみることにした｡
売り物を使うなんて いけないことだけど…｡
It's wrong to use merchandise,
but I'm sure that God will forgive me this one sin.
今日くらい… 神様も許してくれるよね｡
私から 私へのﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄ…＞
A present from me, for myself.
えっ… ﾊﾟｯﾁって 暖をとるものだったの｡
Huh? You use pachi to keep yourself warm?
うん いいよ｡ それだけ寒いなら どうぞ 使えばいい｡
Okay, sure.
If you're that cold, go ahead and use me.
何すればいい…｡ おらぁ～!!
What do I do?
A pachi is just a punching bag?!
ﾊﾟｯﾁ ただのｻﾝﾄﾞﾊﾞｯｸﾞじゃねえか！
I felt warmer after using a pachi.
＜ﾊﾟｯﾁを使うと 体はあたたかくなった＞
体 動かしてるだけだろ！
Only because you're moving your body!
＜心も体も 不思議とﾎﾟｶﾎﾟｶしてくる＞
My body and soul feel all warm and fuzzy.
How can you feel warm and fuzzy when you're doing something so cold-blooded?!
こんな冷徹なことやっといて なんで ﾎﾟｶﾎﾟｶしてんだぁ!!
＜ すると 不思議な現象が起きた｡
And then something odd happened.
Every time I used a pachi, all kinds of dinner dishes appeared on a Christmas table.
ﾊﾟｯﾁを使う度に ｸﾘｽﾏｽのﾃｰﾌﾞﾙを彩る➡
さまざまなﾃﾞｨﾅｰが 姿を現したのだ＞
It may have been a hallucination.
＜ それは ただの 幻影だったのかもしれない｡
でも 私は嬉しくて 夢中で ﾊﾟｯﾁを使い続けた｡
But I was so happy that I kept using pachi.
More phantoms appeared.
次々 現れる幻影｡
Green onions, konjac, monjayaki, shirataki noodles,
ﾈｷﾞ こんにゃく もんじゃ焼き しらたき…｡
もんじゃ焼き もんじゃ焼き もんじゃ焼き…＞
monjayaki, monjayaki, monjayaki...
Half of those are the same thing!
途中から ほとんど もんじゃしか出てねえだろ！
＜私は １本しか 使わないと決めていたのに➡
I said I would only use one,
before I knew it, I was sparring with two or three of them.
いつの間にか ２本３本と ｽﾊﾟｰﾘﾝｸﾞをし続けていた＞
ｽﾊﾟｰﾘﾝｸﾞって言ったよね｡ 今 ｽﾊﾟｰﾘﾝｸﾞって認めたよね！
You just said sparring, yeah?
You just admitted that this is sparring, yeah?
うお～!! ぶおっ！
I'll die!
死ぬ～！ このままじゃ ﾊﾟｯﾁも ﾊﾟｯﾁ売りの少女も死ぬ～!!
At this rate, the pachi and little pachi girl will all die!
Santa!
ｻﾝﾀさ～ん!! この少女はどうでもいいけど➡
This girl doesn't matter, but the pachi!
ﾊﾟｯﾁは… ﾊﾟｯﾁだけは 助けてやってくれ～!!
Save the pachi at least!
Those are capable of making anything appear?
それは… 何でも出るのか？ えっ!?
Huh?!
I'm asking if they can make anything,
ｷﾐのそれは 望むものなら何でも➡
even Tae-chan, appear.
妙ちゃんでも 出るのかと聞いている｡
Huh?
＜翌日｡ ｲﾌﾞが明け➡
The next day, on the morning after Christmas Eve,
the people walking through town discovered a pile of pachi ashes,
街をゆく人々が見つけたのは ﾊﾟｯﾁの燃えｶｽと➡
吐瀉物にまみれながらも 幸せそうにほほえむ➡
真っ白な灰になった ２人のﾎﾞｸｻｰの屍であった＞
and the corpses of two burnt out boxers with smiles on their face.
なんで ｻﾝﾀまで参加してんだぁ!!
Why did Santa join in?!
これ 誰ひとり 救われてないでしょうが！
Nobody was saved here!
At the very least, the girl and I were saved.
少なくとも ﾎﾞｸと少女が救われた｡ 最後に望む者に会えたからな｡
Since we were able to see our wishes granted in the end.
Hell no!
んなわけないでしょ！ なんで ﾎﾞｸの口から姉上が出てくんだよ！
How could I possibly hurl up Sis?!
What do you think, judges?
どうですか？ 判定の皆さん｡
Hey!
[Watanabe Entertainment]
おい!! いつから ｽﾀ誕審査会場になったんだ!!
When did this turn into Star Search?!
[PORIPRO]
I was impressed by her ability to play both major characters and minor roles.
主要人物から脇役までこなせる 演技の幅に感服しました｡
ﾎﾟﾆｰﾃｰﾙの子 ぜひｳﾁで｡
We would love to hire the girl with a ponytail.
These people aren't even watching Santa!
ｺｲﾂらﾎﾝﾄ ｻﾝﾀのことなんて 毛ほども見てないよ｡
自分しか見てないよ！
They're only watching themselves!
And you!
それから ｱﾝﾀ！ 10点満点って 言ってんでしょうが!!
I said that the highest possible score is a 10!
はらだいらさんを１匹見たら 3000点は入れてやれ｡
If there's a Daira Hara sighting, spot them 3,000 points.
[Note: Reference to the Japanese show "QUIZ Derby"]
Is that even a warning?!
何の警告だ！ そんな場面 そうそうないよ！
Does that ever happen?!
(さっちゃん)ﾎﾝﾄ｡ おへそで 茶が沸かせちゃうわね｡
Honestly, this is painful to watch.
I'll go next.
次は 私がいくわ｡ 格の違いを見せてあげる｡
You'll see that I'm on an entirely different level from the rest of you.
But I have a request to make.
ただ ひとつ注文があるんだけど｡ (神楽)何ｱﾙか？
What's that?
私が ﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄを届けるのは あなたじゃなくて➡
I won't be delivering a present to you.
Do you mind if I deliver a present to the boy in the glasses?
そっちのﾒｶﾞﾈ君でもいい？ え!?
Huh?
I don't really mind.
別にいいけど 新八 まわせるｱﾙか？
Shinpachi, wanna take a turn?
構わないですけど｡
It's fine with me...
Then please do.
じゃあ それでお願い｡ それじゃ 始め!!
Let's get started!
The world had shifted to the Christmas season.
＜世間は すっかり ｸﾘｽﾏｽﾓｰﾄﾞ｡
The people walking around town were all in a festive mood.
街ゆくもの皆 なんだか ﾌﾜﾌﾜ 浮わついているけど➡
相変わらず ﾎﾞｸの世界は 変化がない｡
As always, there was no change in my world.
[Tsu]
In the past, I used to think that something wonderful might happen for no real reason,
昔は なんの根拠もなしに➡
ｽﾃｷなことが起こるんじゃないかと 期待したりもしてたけど➡
そんな受け身のﾎﾞｸに 何かが起こるわけもない｡
but nothing ever happened.
...Or so I thought.
はずだった…＞ ｷｬｰ!!
うわ～っ!!
ｲﾃﾃ… ﾄﾅｶｲの操縦 ﾐｽっちゃった｡
Ouch, I had a little mishap with the reindeer.
ﾒﾘｸﾘ ご主人様｡
Merry Christmas, master.
One, two,
Sa-chan!
なんか 既視感ﾊﾞﾘﾊﾞﾘのﾗﾌﾞｺﾒ始まった!!
This feels like a romantic comedy I've seen before!
[Planning by: Ayame Sarutobi]
Nice to meet you, master.
はじめまして ご主人様｡
私は ﾒｶﾞﾈ型 忍者ｻﾝﾀﾛﾎﾞ 通称 さっちゃん｡
I am a spectacled ninja Santa robot.
Sa-chan for short.
女の子にﾓﾃない 冴えないﾁｪﾘｰの 妄想を叶えるため➡
I've come from the future to grant the fantasies of a helpless cherry boy.
未来からやってきたの｡
Now, Shinpachi-kun.
さぁ 新八君｡ ｷﾐはいったい 何がしたいのかしら？
What do you want to do?
Want me to whip you?
鞭でぶたれたいの？ それとも ぶちたいの？
Or smack me?
Or do you want to be hit, thinking you're letting me hit?
それとも ぶたれといて ぶたれてやってると思いたいの？
Or do you want to smack me thinking you're being forced to hit...
もしくは ぶっといて ぶたさせられてると思い…｡
I want to smack you hard!
激しくぶちたい!!
I knew something was up when you asked for a switch to Shin-chan.
急に 新ちゃんに 相手 替えてくれとか言うから➡
何かおかしいと思ったら｡
You're gonna throw yourself on a boy in puberty to get the job done, you slut?!
思春期の小童相手に 手早く 色仕掛けで➡
ことを済ますつもりか 淫乱女!!
Don't teach my little brother your dirty ways!
私の弟に 汚れたことを 教えないでちょうだい！
あら あなたは新八君の 義理の姉 お妙さん｡
Oh, why if it isn't Shinpachi-kun's stepsister, Otae-san.
堂々と 同居できるのをいいことに➡
The skank who takes advantage of your shared living arrangements
to run into each other in the bathroom and the like.
お風呂で ばったりとか 好き放題やってる痴女じゃないの｡
やるか！ 正真正銘 姉弟だっつうの！
The hell I would!
We're siblings by blood!
おのれは 銀髪ﾊﾞｶと 乳繰りあってればいいだろが！
You can go hit on the idiot with silver hair!
I'm sucking it up and doing this so I can go hit on the idiot with silver hair!
その銀髪ﾊﾞｶと 乳繰りあうために➡
涙をのんで こんなことやってるのよ！
I'm smacking this young ass so I can become Santa and have my way!
ｻﾝﾀになって 好き放題やるために➡
こんな青くっさい ｹﾂぶってんのよ！
The hell are you doing?!
おのれは 何さらしとんじゃ!!
What is this?
何これ!? ちょっと あなたの弟の部屋➡
Hey, your brother's room is all sticky.
ﾈﾊﾞﾈﾊﾞじゃないの！ ｲﾔだ 新ちゃん｡
Ew, Shin-chan.
What were you doing in your room?
部屋でいったい 何やってたの？
Don't make it sound like I'm doing something bad here!
人聞きの悪いこと 言わないでください！
知りませ…｡
I know noth...
[Super-strength Roach Motel]
A tale of three cockroaches.
＜…という ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘたちがいました＞
We just got thrown into that category by force!
無理やり そっちの 枠組みにぶち込まれた!!
My name is Kagura.
＜私の名前は神楽｡ 花の女子高生｡
A high school girl in the spring of youth.
世の中は ｸﾘｽﾏｽで 恋だの何だの騒いでいるけど➡
The rest of the world is excited about Christmas and love and whatever,
そんなのお構いなし｡
but that doesn't matter to me!
I'm an energetic girl who's only interested in eating!
食べることしか興味のない ﾊﾘｷﾘ元気ｶﾞｰﾙ＞
She took back control! She's moving on with her story!
主導権 引き戻したよ！ 勝手に話 進めだしたよ！
And now, there's finally been a change in my life.
＜ そんな私にも ついに異変が 起きるときがやってきた＞
(銀時)いってえな｡ どこ見て歩いてんだよ｡
That hurt.
Watch where you're going.
＜ そう…｡
Yes...
ｱｲﾂとの出会いによって＞
After meeting him...
She somehow dragged the old guys into this!
なんか 無理やり じじい出てきた!!
You can wear red clothing and deliver presents,
《赤い服を着て ﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄを配っていれば➡
それで ｻﾝﾀというわけではない》
but that doesn't necessarily make you Santa.
It's about spirit.
《星海坊主:肝心なのは 心意気｡
子供に夢を与えようとする そのｻﾝﾀ魂だ！》
The soul of a Santa that helps children dream.
So his idea is to interject himself into a performance so he can deliver his present in a dramatic fashion...
《劇中に組み込まれることで➡
より 直接的かつ多面的な ﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄ演出を との考えだったが｡
やはり 本物のｻﾝﾀ》
He really is the real Santa.
He easily over came this hurdle.
《この程度のﾊｰﾄﾞﾙ たやすく 乗り越えてきやがったか》
I don't believe this!
信じらんない！ ﾚﾃﾞｨに ぶつかっといて➡
You run into a lady and don't even apologize?!
謝りの言葉もないの!? どっちが ぶつかってきたのよ！
Which one of you ran into me?!
Lady? Where's this lady you speak of?
I don't recall transferring to a countryside school with horses.
ﾚﾃﾞｨ？ そんなもの…？ ｵﾚは 馬がいるような…｡
All I see is an uppity filly.
This some kind of stable for fillies?
You were talking at the same time so I have no idea what you said.
ｾﾘﾌが かぶってて 何言ってるかわかんないわ｡
Could you shut up for a second?
Could you keep quiet for a moment?
ちょっと黙っててもらえます？ 引っ込んでてもらえますか？
Well, I was the one who ran into you.
Don't interfere with my scripted scenario, old timer!
The filly belongs to everyone. She isn't yours.
《ｵﾚのｼﾅﾘｵの ｼﾞｬﾏをするな じじい》
Is he using the same "the new transfer student in Santa" plan as I am?
《もしかして ｺｲﾂ ｵﾚと同じ➡
転校生は ｻﾝﾀさんだった作戦か？》
I said that I ran into her!
ｵﾚが ぶつかったって 言ってんでしょ！
No, it was me!
いやｵﾚだって！ いや ｵﾚが！ ｵﾚ！ ｵﾚだ！
No, me!
Me!
It was me!
(ﾁｬｲﾑ)
Uh-oh, that's the bell!
いっけない！ ﾁｬｲﾑが!! まずい！
What?!
Not good!
At this rate...
このままでは…｡
I would like to introduce the new transfer student.
((転校生を紹介する｡ ｻﾝﾀです｡
I'm Santa. Nice to meet...
よろしくお願い…｡ あぁ！
Ah!
You're the guy from earlier!
お前は さっきの…))
That event won't happen!
という展開が！ どんだけﾍﾞﾀﾍﾞﾀな展開➡
What's with the parade of cliches?!
やろうとしてんだ！ 転校生はｵﾚ１人で十分だ！
I'm the only transfer student they need!
ふざけるな！ 転校生はこのｵﾚだ！
Don't give me that crap!
I'm the transfer student!
ﾊ～ｲ 今日は 新しく入った友達を紹介する｡
Okay, I'd like to introduce some new friends who are going to be joining us.
転校生の…｡ 銀さん太です｡
I'm Gin-Santa.
おっさん太です｡
I'm Ol'Santa.
Damn, couldn't lose him.
《ｸｿｯ 振り切れなんだか》
《まぁ いい 遅刻を免れただけでも》
Oh well.
At least I wasn't late...
I'm Kondo-Santa.
近藤さん太です｡ 九ちゃん太です｡
I'm Kyu-chanta.
I'm Sa-chan.
さっちゃんです｡ (長谷川)みんな仲よくするように｡
Everybody get along.
転校生 何人いんだ！
How many transfer students are there?!
And one of them is completely sticky!
つうか １人 ﾈﾊﾞﾈﾊﾞの転校生いんだけど！
Pleasure.
よろしく｡ ねぇねぇ｡
Hey, is there anybody you like?
どれか気に入った子いる？ 同級生までﾈﾊﾞﾈﾊﾞだよ！
This classmate is also sticky!
何この３年Ｇ組！
What's wrong with Class 3-G?!
Bastards...
《ｺｲﾂら この期に及んで➡
They still haven't given up on being Santa?
まだ ｻﾝﾀの座を あきらめねえつもりか｡
But it's too late!
だが もう遅いぜ》
I've already met Kagura once.
《ｵﾚは すでに一度 神楽と出会ってるんだよ｡
We're already tied together by destiny.
もう 因縁ができてんだよ｡
Young girls are suckers for destiny.
乙女は運命とやらに弱い》
Oh! It's you!
あっ お前は あのときの！ 《ほら みろ！》
See?
You've showed yourself again, damn cockroach!
また 出やがったな このｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘが～！
Him?!
そっち!? 転校生 紹介してたけど➡
He introduced the transfer students, but he's still a cockroach?!
またｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘにされたよ あの人！
ﾃｷｻｽにいた頃から しつこく つきまとってきてて➡
He's been bugging me since I was in Texas.
Such a drag...
困ってるのよ｡ ﾃｷｻｽ!?
Texas?!
These stories are tied together?!
これまでの話って つながってたの!?
Didn't you die once?!
１回 死んでたよね？ へぇ 留学先の日本にまで➡
Oh, he followed you all the way to Japan.
ついてくるなんて たいしたｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘじゃない｡
What a tough cockroach.
What is this?
《何これ!? ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘに負けてんだけど｡
I'm losing to a cockroach?
The cockroach is the one that's being reunited by destiny?
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘのほうが運命的な再会 繰り返してんだけど》
ひょっとして ずっと神楽ちゃんのこと➡
He may have been watching over you this entire time.
見守ってくれているのかもね｡
Stop that, Tae. It's not like that.
やめてよ 妙 そんなんじゃないわよ｡
That's just ridiculous.
＜ そんな ﾊﾞｶげたことあるわけない｡
He couldn't have been protecting me.
ｱｲﾂが 私を守ってくれていたなんて＞
Wait, what is this?
えっ… 何これちょっと…｡
He would always show up dirty,
＜ いつも薄汚れた体で 私の前に現れ➡
and I would hit him with my slipper.
ｽﾘｯﾊﾟで叩かれていた ｱｲﾂ＞
Where is this going?
何なの この展開！ ＜ でも ｱｲﾂが現れるのは➡
But he would always show up on the nights when I felt lonely.
決まって私が寂しい夜だった｡
Those Christmas nights when I was sad.
悲しみに うちひしがれる➡
ｸﾘｽﾏｽの夜だった｡
He may have come to keep me from being alone...
もしかしたら ｱｲﾂは私を １人ぼっちにしないために…＞
No, that can't be it!
いや 違うだろう！
Next thing I knew, I found myself always staring at the cockroach's brilliance.
＜気がつくと 授業中➡
Listen up.
いつもｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘの光沢ばかり 目で追うようになっていた＞
If there's one cockroach around, there's thirty.
Why is a cockroach teaching class?!
なんでｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘが授業やってんだ！
And after school...
＜下校時間も…＞
Bye, Mr. Cockroach!
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ先生 さようなら！
Stay away from roach motels.
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘﾎﾟｲﾎﾟｲには 気をつけろよ！
The hell is Mr. Cockroach supposed to mean?!
ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ先生って何だよ！ ﾌﾞﾀｺﾞﾘﾗ並にﾊﾞｶにされてんのか➡
I can't tell if that's a slander like Porky Gorilla or a term of endearment!
[Note: Butagorilla (Porky Gorilla) is a character from the manga "Kiteretsu Daihyakka"]
敬われてんのか わかんねえよ！
My chest hurts...
＜胸が痛い 苦しい 吐き気がする＞
So tight...
I'm about to throw up...
Many people throw up after seeing a cockroach!
そりゃ 吐き気もすんだろ ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘなんか見てたら！
＜ これが… 恋＞ どんな話だ！
This is...love!
The hell are you talking about?!
＜生徒とｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ この恋が実ることがないのを➡
Student and cockroach...
I knew this love would never work.
私は知っていた｡
But I wanted to tell him my feelings.
それでも この思いだけは伝えたい｡
Tell the cockroach how I feel...
あのｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘに伝えたい＞
Say, everybody know what you're doing for Christmas Eve?
(お妙)ねぇ みんなは ｲﾌﾞの予定とか決まってるの？
Not really.
別に｡ 『明石家ｻﾝﾀ』観て寝る｡
Watch Santa Akashiya and go to sleep.
[Note: Japanese talk show that airs at the end of year.]
The Santas have lost interest!
ｻﾝﾀ ﾃﾝｼｮﾝ駄々下がりだよ！
A Santa watching Santa Akashiya?!
ｻﾝﾀなのに 『明石家ｻﾝﾀ』観るつもりだよ！
I'm spending Christmas Eve with Otae-san.
ｵﾚは お妙さんと 過ごすつもりだけど｡
What a coincidence. So am I.
奇遇だな ﾎﾞｸもだ｡ だよね！
Right? Gotta spend Christmas with Otae-san.
What did you two reappear for, anyway?!
ﾃﾒｴらは いったい 何しに再登場してきたんだ！
What about you, Kagura-chan?
神楽ちゃんは？ 何か予定あるの？
Nothing really.
別に｡ なに 私だけ無視してんのよ！
Why am I the only one who got skipped over?!
Is that a present for someone?
(お妙)それ 誰かにﾌﾟﾚｾﾞﾝﾄ？ (さっちゃん)おっ やかせるね｡
Oh, making us jealous, huh?
Who's it for?
相手は誰かしら？ ﾋｭｰﾋｭｰ｡
You've got it wrong! I was going to wear it myself.
違うもん 別に自分で つけようと思ってるだけだし｡
そこは こう編んだほうがいいわよ｡
Oh, you should do that part like this.
お妙ちゃん すごい 編み物できるんだ！
You're amazing, Otae-chan!
You can knit.
I'm so bad at this...
私 全然ﾀﾞﾒで｡
うん 私もちょっと 今編んでて｡
I happen to be making something myself right now.
What?! Otae-san is knitting something?!
えっ!? お妙さんも 何か編んでるんですか!?
Knitting what?! For who?!
何を いったい誰に!?
There's something coming out of her bag.
(さっちゃん)ん？ ｶﾊﾞﾝから何か飛び出してるわよ｡
Ah!
あっ 違うの これは… あの…｡
You're wrong! This is, um...
＜私は そのとき 見てはいけないものを➡
That was when I saw something I wasn't supposed to.
見てしまった｡
There were large initials stitched on there...
そこには 大きく こう編みこまれていた｡
"G."
[Note: "G" is the initial for cockroach (gokiburi) in Japanese.]
Ｇと＞
Why?!
なんでだ！ なんで姉上までＧに惚れてんだ!!
Why would Sis also fall for Roach Guy?!
《お妙ちゃん ひょっとして ﾃｷｻｽの頃からずっと…》
Otae-chan, have you felt this way since we were in Texas?
Tae-chan, who is this "G."?!
妙ちゃん Ｇって…？ Ｇってｺﾞﾘﾗのことですよね!?
It stands for Gorilla, right?!
That'd be me, right?!
ｵﾚのことですよね？ Ｇって➡
You trying to lay hands on my Gin-san?! Ain't happening!
銀さんに手を出そうなんて 許さないわよ！
One of you couldn't be any more wrong!
１人だけ思っくそ 間違ってんですけど！
Damn it!
ﾁｸｼｮｳ！ こんなんｱﾎらしくて やってらんねえ!!
I can't take any more of this crap!
Sorry, but I agree!
悪いがﾎﾞｸも！ (３人)ｸﾘｽﾏｽなんてｸｿくらえだ！
Christmas can go to hell!
ｻﾝﾀがｸﾘｽﾏｽ全否定したよ！
The Santas just rejected Christmas!
私… 何か悪いことしちゃった… かな｡
Did I do something...wrong?
何も 悪かねえよ｡
You didn't do anything wrong.
悪くなんかねえさ｡ 誰も…｡
Nobody's wrong here.
What is this?!
なに これ!? つうか ﾃﾒｴら いったい どういう立ち位置!?
And what role are you guys playing?!
You're Santas, right?
ｻﾝﾀだよね？ ﾎﾝﾄに ｻﾝﾀだよね!?
You're really Santas, right?!
＜私は 怖くなっていた…｡
I became scared...
I had a feeling that something would change if I told G. how I felt...
私が Ｇに想いを伝えたとき➡
何かが 変わってしまうような気がして…｡
If that were to destroy this irreplaceable friendship...
もし それで かけがえのない友情が➡
壊れてしまうのだとしたら…＞
Otae-chan, I...
お妙ちゃん… 私…｡
On Christmas Eve...
ｸﾘｽﾏｽｲﾌﾞ…➡
学校で 大掃除やるんだって｡
they're cleaning the whole school.
たぶん ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ１匹 生き残れない…｡
There won't be a single cockroach left alive.
だから… 最後だから➡
So, since this is the end...
お互い精一杯 がんばりましょう｡
We both have to try our best.
お妙ちゃん…｡
Otae-chan...
どんなになったって 私は➡
No matter what happens, I will always be...
神楽ちゃんの… 友達だから…｡
...your friend.
(神楽)私もだよ…｡
Same here.
They're both stubborn fools.
ﾊﾞｶみたい｡ 片意地張っちゃって｡
It won't be the same after you've fought over a man.
男 取り合って 今までどおりでなんて➡
いられるわけないじゃない｡
Humans only maintain relationships that bring benefits.
人は しょせん 見返りがなければ➡
人とは つながっていられないの｡
ｻﾝﾀだって 同じよ｡
The same goes for Santa.
If nobody believes in us, we can't help them dream.
こちらを見てくれないのであれば 夢なんて 与える気にならない｡
本物のｻﾝﾀなんて➡
There is no real Santa in this world.
この世には 存在しないのよ｡
Done pretending to be Santa, huh?
ｻﾝﾀごっこは もう やめか…｡
Where are you two going?!
どこに行くのよ!? あなたたち！
Sure, we're nothing like Santa.
確かにｵﾚたちは ｻﾝﾀとは程遠いよ｡
だが ｻﾝﾀが この世にいねえなんて 言い張るのは➡
But it's too early to say that Santa doesn't exist.
ちと 早まってる気がしてね…｡
見にいってくるのさ｡
We're off to see...
無償の愛をもつ 本物のｻﾝﾀさんってﾔﾂを…｡
The real Santa and his indiscriminate love.
After that, we spent sleepless nights knitting away in preparation for Christmas Eve.
＜ それから私たちは ｸﾘｽﾏｽｲﾌﾞに向けて➡
寝る間も惜しんで 編み物をする日々を過ごした＞
Because we're friends, I can't lose.
＜友達だからこそ 負けられない｡
友達だからこそ 精一杯 やりきらねばいけない！＞
Because we're friends, I have to do my best.
But the harder I tried, the more the threads would fray.
＜ でも 気負えば気負うほど 糸は もつれ…＞
＜編み物は いっこうに はかどらなかった…＞
We weren't making any progress.
＜ そして ｲﾌﾞの朝…＞
And it was the morning of Christmas Eve.
いけない！ つい眠っちゃった！
Oh no! I fell asleep!
What do I do? I'm only half-done...
どうしよう… まだ 半分も…｡
＜ そこには いつのまにか 完成した編み物があった…＞
There we found a finished knitting...
Half of it was roughly done and unattractive,
＜途中から ひどく いびつに編まれた➡
不格好だけど 暖かそうな編み物が…＞
but it looked very warm...
♪♪～
[Merry Christmas]
It's all clean now.
きれいになったわね！
We'll feel clean as we greet the new year!
これで 気分も一新！ 新年を迎えられるわ！
そういえば 神楽ちゃんと お妙ちゃんは？
Oh yeah. Where are Kagura-chan and Otae-chan?
No idea. I think they're absent today.
さぁ｡ 今日 お休みみたい｡
[Year-3 Class-G]
Ew! A cockroach!
いや～!! ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘ～!!
Why are you here?
何で こんな所に…｡ 手袋は？
What about the mittens?
神楽ちゃんこそ｡ ﾏﾌﾗｰは？
And what about your scarf, Kagura-chan?
二度寝したら もう 昼になってた｡
I went back to sleep and when I woke up, it was noon.
奇遇ね｡ 私も｡
What a coincidence. Same here.
And I just realized that G. doesn't have to mean Cockroach.
それに これ… Ｇって➡
別に ｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘじゃなくてもいいことに 気がついた｡
To my girlfriend.
(２人)ｶﾞｰﾙﾌﾚﾝﾄﾞへ！
♪♪～
たいしたものだな｡
That was impressive.
見返りも求めず 無為に働き➡
You didn't seek anything in return for your efforts
while salvaging the friendship.
友情を守り抜くとは…｡
You win.
負けたよ！ お前たちこそ 本物の…｡
You're the real...
いいや｡ ｵﾚたちは ｻﾝﾀなんかじゃねえよ｡
No.
We aren't Santas.
♪♪～
They're the real Santas.
(銀時/星海坊主) 本物のｻﾝﾀは ｱｲﾂらさ！
The hell was that?!
(銀時たち)って なるか!!
なにが ｻﾝﾀ決定戦だ!! 結局ﾃﾒｴら➡
How is this a contest for deciding who's Santa?!
You're stealing all the glory!
おいしいとこ 全部 持ってってるだけじゃねえか!!
[I'm Santa]
互いに思い合い 支え合う者｡
When we all love and support one another,
[I'm Santa] [I'm Santa]
[I'm Cockroach]
私たちは 皆 ｻﾝﾀです！ 黙れ!!
everybody's a Santa.
Shut up!
ﾃﾒｴら全員 ただのｺﾞｷﾌﾞﾘだ!!
You're all frickin' cockroaches!
やってらんねえよ ｵﾒｴ！ 帰るぞ!!
No more of this!
I'm leaving!
A complete waste of time.
完全 時間ﾑﾀﾞにしたわ！
おい 待て！ ちょっと 待って待って！
Hey, wait up!
Hold on a sec!
Gin-chan.
(神楽)銀ちゃん！ みんな！
Everybody.
And Pappy.
そして ﾊﾟﾋﾟｰ！
あけまして ﾒﾘｰ最終回！
Happy Merry Last Episode.
[Thank you kindly for four years of support.]
[See you again someday...]