I decided it would be best
約束を果たすのは なるべく早い方がいいだろうと
to fulfill my promise as soon as possible.
月火の千枚通しの魔手から 何とか命からがら逃れえた直後
So after barely escaping Tsukihi's awls,
I called Kanbaru's cell phone.
僕は 神原の携帯へと電話をかけた
Kanbaru Suruga
いや阿良々木先輩 それは困るな
Araragi-senpai, I'd really prefer that you don't.
It's true I said I wanted to meet your sister,
確かに私は阿良々木先輩の妹さんに会ってみたいと言ったことはあるけれど
6
C
STOP
C L O S E D
but that was a joke.
それはあくまでも冗談として言ったわけであって
6
C
STOP
C L O S E D
I wasn't serious.
決して本気だったわけではないのだ
No, well...
いや だって阿良々木先輩
Araragi-senpai,
I mean, I'm really grateful for your kindness.
阿良々木先輩の心遣いは本当に嬉しいと思うけれど
でも だからって
But I can't take your little sister's virginity!
Charge Forward
妹さんの処女なんてもらえないよ
Charge Forward
I'm not giving it to you!
誰がやるか
お前にやるくらいだったら僕がもらうわ
I'd rather take it myself than give it to you!
The thought's enough for me.
お気持ちだけ頂戴しておく
Don't take the thought either...
気持もやらねえよ 妹に関してお前にあげるものは何もない
You can't have anything from my sister!
And so, with some difficulty,
そんなわけで 紆余曲折あった末
I promised to bring Karen to her this afternoon.
今日の正午過ぎに 火憐を連れて行く約束を
僕は無事に取り付けたのだった
Okay, I'll get dressed and wait for you.
うむ では
服を着て待っている
Why are you usually naked?
何で基本全裸なんだよ
Such a response has left me bewildered. What could this be? I feel as though the "Gag Part" has reached its end. Could the fun times be over? Does the playing end here?
Tsukihi Phoenix Part 2
Episode 9
Type Font Used HGP Minchou B
Nii-chan, Nii-chan...
兄ちゃん兄ちゃん ジャンケン必勝法って知ってるか
Do you know how to always win at rock-paper-scissors?
Just knowing how will change
この必勝法を知ってると知らないとでは
その後のジャンケン人生ががらっと変わっちまうだろうぜ
your rock-paper-scissors life forever.
本当はあたしだけの秘密にしときたいんだけど
Normally, I'd keep it to myself...
But thanks to you, this is a great day.
兄ちゃんのお蔭で今日はいい日だからな
So I'll make a special case and tell you.
特別に粋なはからいで教えてやろうっつってんじゃねーか
C
BICYCLES ALLOWED
月火ちゃんにだって教えてねーんだぞ にっしっし
I haven't even told Tsukihi-chan!
Fine, I understand.
いいよ 分かった 聞いてやる聞いてやる
I'll listen to it.
優しい優しい暦お兄ちゃんが火憐ちゃんの話を聞いてやる
Your kind, wonderful Koyomi-oniichan will listen to you.
Okay!
よーし 兄ちゃんがそこまで頼むなら教えてやる
Since you're that insistent, I'll tell you.
実践してみようか
Let's try it.
But you know,
ん でもあれだな
ただジャンケンするだけじゃあ兄ちゃんのモチベーションが上がらなねーか
you won't be motivated just learning it normally...
We should bet something.
何か賭けたほうがいいな
Don't bother.
いいよ そんなの 面倒くさい
It's a pain.
No, we have to...
いやいや そうしとかねーと
後で兄ちゃんがわざと負けてやったんだとか何とか
Or later on you might say, "I lost deliberately!"
そんな負け惜しみを言い張る可能性があるだろうが
ジャンケンでわざと負けるって
I think deliberately losing at rock-paper-scissors is just as hard as always winning.
それはもう必勝法と同じくらいの難易度だと思うけれど
Okay, let's do this, Niii-chan.
よし じゃあこうしよう兄ちゃん 体育会系罰ゲームだ
An athletic punishment game.
ジャンケンで負けたほうがジャンケンで勝ったほうをここからおぶっていく
The loser has to carry the winner the rest of the way.
Carry?
おぶってって
On their back!
C
Carriers Get Priority
C
Dangerous Objects
5
20
C
NO LIGHT VEHICLES
C
Effective Starting January 4th
5
60 MINUTES PARKING
C
NO BUS ROUTES
C
STOP
おんぶだ 目的地までおんぶ
Carry them all the way there.
Whatever.
まあいいか もし負けた時は約束を破るまでだ
If I lose, I'll just back out of it.
Okay, I get it.
よしよし分かった その条件でいいや
That's fine.
C
BICYCLES PROHIBITED
ん やけにあっさり呑むな
You agreed more easily than I expected.
や 何も企んでなんかいないよ 兄ちゃんを信頼しろ
I'm not planning anything.
Trust your brother.
C
BICYCLES PROHIBITED
He'd never break his word...
お前の兄ちゃんは約束を決して違えない男だろう
That's right...
そうだったな 兄ちゃんはあたしの誇りだ
I'm proud of you!
こいつとの約束は多分千回単位で破っているのだが 何だこの信頼度
I've probably broken thousands of promises to her.
Why would she trust me so much?
んじゃいくぜ じゃーんけんっ
Let's go... Rock, paper—
ああ 待った待った待った
Wait, wait, wait!
すでにそこから勝負は始まってるんだよ
That's not how it works.
その掛け声は自分で掛けること
You have to say the words yourself.
C
BICYCLES PROHIBITED
これはまず必勝法の第一段階だ
That's the first step of the trick.
The first step?
第一段階って たかがジャンケンで随分と大仰だな
That's a lot of work to go through for rock-paper-scissors.
How many steps are there?
第何段階まであるんだよ
C
BICYCLES PROHIBITED
Two!
第二段階
C
Mind the Step
C
Dangerous Objects
5
20
C
NO LIGHT VEHICLES
C
Effective Starting January 4th
5
60 MINUTES PARKING
C
NO BUS ROUTES
C
STOP
Simple!
しょぼっ
So what, you gain an advantage saying them yourself?
掛け声を自分で出すことで 場を制するってわけか
Sounds sort of spiritual...
何だかスピリチュアルな話になってんなあ まあいいけど
Not that it matters.
じゃお前 掛け声かけろよ
Then you say it.
Okay!
おお いっくぜ
Here I go...
Rock!
じゃん
けん
Paper!
ふっふっふっふ 分かるか 分かったか兄ちゃん
Do you get it?
Do you get it, Nii-chan?
「じゃん」と言って「けん」でもう手を出す そうすることによって
You say rock, then paper, and then put out your hand.
「ぽん」を待っていた相手に強制的に後出しをさせることができるんだ
Thus, you make your opponent,
who was waiting for the "scissors," go late.
競技の名称を利用した 敵に後出しを強いる
The ultimate technique,
using the game's own name to cause your opponent to go late.
究極のテクニック
In other words, whether you throw rock, paper, or scissors,
つまり ぐーを出そうがちょきを出そうがぱーを出そうが
since you put your fist out too late,
相手が後出しである以上 自動的にあたしの勝ちとなるって算段さ
I automatically win.
さあ兄ちゃん あたしをおぶってもらおうか
Now, Nii-chan, you're going to carry me!
Black Scene
Animation Number "None"
卑怯過ぎるだろ お前
That's cheating.
What kind of idiot would admit defeat due to that?
どこの誰がそんなんで負けを認めるんだよ
ぬうう せっかくさっき思いついたのに
And I just thought of it too.
You just thought of it?
思いつきかよ
Karen-chan, you lost because you cheated.
火憐ちゃん お前の反則負けだ
おんぶじゃすまねえ 罰則として 僕を肩車して歩け
Carrying me on your back isn't enough.
You have to carry me on your shoulders.
うー 仕方ねえなあ
Oh fine...
Okay, Nii-chan.
よし兄ちゃん あたしの肩に乗れ
Get on my shoulders.
Um, well...
えと いや...その やっぱやめとこうか火憐ちゃん
Let's not, Karen-chan.
I've been studying too much, so I've gained weight.
僕 最近勉強のし過ぎて太ったし
How much do you weigh?
何キロ
えっと 五十六キロ
Um, 56 kilograms.
Then I'll be fine.
だったら平気だよ
百八十キロまでは あたしにとっては重さじゃないし
Anything less than 180 kilos is nothing to me.
30 kg on the Moon
Do you live on the moon?
お前は月の世界の住人か
ま...まあ そうじゃなくともさ 火憐ちゃん
P-Putting that aside,
it's one thing if you're carrying me on your back.
ほら おんぶならともかく 肩車となると
But on your shoulders, your ponytail will be in the way.
お前のポニテが邪魔になるじゃん
Oh, my ponytail...
ん ああ このポニテか 確かにそうだな
That's right.
そうだろ
Right?
うん 兄ちゃんの言う通りだ
You're right!
さすが兄ちゃん 言う通りじゃなかったことがねーな
That's my brother.
You're always right!
A key?
鍵 何でこのタイミングで鍵なんか取り出すんだ
Why are you taking out a key now?
え 兄ちゃん ビニールテープ切る時とか 服のタグ切る時とかに
Don't you use the ridges of a key when you
cut vinyl tape or tags on your clothes?
キーのギザギザを利用したりしないの
It's a lot lighter!
おー 軽くなった軽くなった
Oh, perfect. There's a trash can.
おーっと 丁度いいところにごみ箱が
Right! Now I can carry you on my shoulders.
よし これで兄ちゃんを肩車できるぜ
お前 小学校の頃からずっとポニテだったじゃん
You'd had that ponytail since elementary school!
こだわりとかあったんじゃねーのかよ
Didn't you have any attachment to it?
いや 長ったらしくて手入れは大変だし
It was long, hard to take care of,
寝る時面倒くせーし 起きたら起きたで寝ぐせだし
and a pain when I was trying to sleep.
And when I got up, it was a mess.
ずっとうざいと思ってたよ
I've always hated it.
我慢してたの
You kept it anyway?
Okay, Nii-chan, let me carry you.
じゃあ兄ちゃん 肩車だ かったぐーるま かったぐーるま
Let me carry you... Let me carry you!
Why is she so excited?
何でノリノリなんだよ
何で肩車する方がノリノリなんだよ このドM妹が
Why is she so excited when she's the one doing the carrying?
My sister is totally a masochist!
やっぱこれ 全然僕に対する罰ゲームでしかねーだろ
This is all just a punishment game for me.
あ...えっとー
Um...
I'm standing up now.
じゃ 立つぞ
うわうわうわうわうわ 怖い怖い怖い怖い怖い
Scary! Scary! Scary! Scary!
It's too high and really scary!
この高過ぎる視点 超怖い
Neo-Tokyo 3
下ろせ 下ろせ 今すぐ下ろせ
Let me down. Let me down.
Let me down now!
I'm sorry! Please let me down, Karen-san!
すいません 下ろしてください火憐さん いや火憐さま
No, Karen-sama!
Nii-chan, got a sec?
兄ちゃん ちょっといいかな
なんだよ
What?
Your crotch is pressing into the back of my head, and it doesn't feel good.
兄ちゃんの局部が後頭部に当って気持ち悪い
Well, Nii-chan?
どうだろう兄ちゃん ここは公平に あたしのポニテ同様
Don't you think we should cut off that bulge in your crotch,
兄ちゃんの局部も切り落とすべきじゃないだろうか
like I cut off my ponytail, to be fair?
Koyomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Ko
yomi
Too scary!
怖すぎるわ
Your hair might grow back,
お前の髪はまた伸びるか知らんけど
but if you cut it off down there, it's all over
僕の局部は切り落とすとしたらもう色々とあらゆる全てがおしまいだろうか
in a lot of ways for a lot of things!
I see.
そか でも兄ちゃん 重さは問題ないんだけど
Still, Nii-chan, the weight isn't a problem.
あんま揺れられるとバランス崩れるから じっとしててくんない
But if you move too much, it throws me off balance. Can you stay put?
Don't be crazy...
無茶言うな 僕はお前じゃねーんだよ
I'm not like you.
I can't keep my balance with my head as high as a giraffe's.
こんなキリンみたいな視点で バランス取れるか
Oh, fine.
しょーがねーな ちょっと神経使うと思うけど
It might take a little effort, Nii-chan,
兄ちゃん 重心を前方に傾けて
but lean your weight forward.
Put your head out in front of my shoulders.
C
RIGHT WRONG ADVANCED
C
SINGLE ADULT WORKERS ONLY
あたしの首から頭に対して上半身を載っけろ
Then hook your legs under my arms.
そんでから ぶらぶらさせてる足を脇の下に通せよ
I'll lock them like the bar on an amusement park ride.
遊園地のバーみてーに固定すっから
Like this?
こうか
All right!
がっしゃーん
Okay, now we're fine.
よし これで大丈夫だ
No, I'm really not feeling very fine.
いや 僕があんまり大丈夫じゃなくなっちゃってるけど
I can't move an inch.
指先さえ動かなくなってるぞ 変な風に痺れてるし
And my legs are going numb...
ねえ 火憐さま これ ひょっとして血の流れとか止められてません
Hey, Karen-sama,
you don't think you've cut off my circulation, do you?
But this is easier for me.
でもあたしは楽になったぞ
さっきまでは兄ちゃんのふくらはぎがあたしのおっぱいの先っちょに
Your calves were pressing into my breasts,
擦れて気持ち悪かったし
and it felt weird.
And your crotch was pressing into my head,
局部が頭に押し付けられたり 脇に挟んだり
and I was stuck between your legs.
Nii-chan, is giving someone a ride on your shoulders always this erotic?
兄ちゃん 肩車ってこんなにエロい行為だったっけ
ん...いや 普通 男女逆なんだけどな
No, normally the guy carries the girl.
Then let's go, Nii-chan.
んじゃま行こうか 兄ちゃん
にっしっし
You... devil boy...
そこな鬼畜なお兄やん
I'd like to ask you something.
ちいと訊きたいことがあるんやけど かめへんかな
Is that all right?
Well... I'm looking for a place called Eikou Cram School.
なんゆうか 叡考塾ゆうとこ探しとんねんけど
おどれ それどこにあるんか しらんけ
Do you know where it is?
Well...
えっと
What is it, devil boy?
なんや 鬼畜なお兄やん
When you were little,
困っとる人を見たら親切にしたりぃゆうて
子供の頃に教えてもうてへんのけ
didn't they teach you to help others?
Umm...
ん いや
Yeah.
How would an objective third party view this situation?
客観的な第三者が観察する限りにおいてどうだろう
Which of us is stranger? The one on top of the mailbox,
郵便ポストを踏み台にしている彼女と妹を踏み台にしている僕とでは
or the one on top of his little sister?
僕の方がいささか分が悪いのではないだろうか
I think she has the upper hand here.
鬼畜呼ばわりも分からなくはない
I can understand why she's calling me a devil boy.
My name is Kagenui Yozuru.
うちはの 影縫余弦ゆうねん 知らんかな
Do you know me?
GAZE GAZE GAZE GAZE GAZE GAZE GAZE GAZE GAZE
My name is Araragi Koyomi.
僕は阿良々木暦と言います
あたしは阿良々木火憐と言います
I'm Araragi Karen.
A devilish brother and a hornet sister.
鬼畜なお兄やんにスズメバチの妹け おもろいやん
Interesting.
Black Scene
Animation Number "None"
Huh?
ん スズメバチっつったか 今
Did she just say "hornet"?
ひゃひゃひゃ まあ その辺はもう終わっとるみたいやし
Looks like that's over, so it doesn't matter.
別にかまやせんねんけど
So, well?
で どうなん 質問繰り返させてもらうけど
I'll repeat my question.
おどれ 叡考塾て 知っとる
Do you know where Eikou Cram School is?
はあ えっーと
Let's see...
Hold on a second.
ちょっと待ってください 僕の友達に
A friend of mine
日本中にあるすべて学習塾の位置を把握しているという驚異の女子がいるんです
has the rather terrifying talent of having memorized
the location of every cram school in Japan.
Okay, I'll do it...
じゃあ電話だ 羽川さんに電話だ やったあ
I'll call Hanekawa-san!
Yay!
Hanekawa Tsubasa
お待たせしました 羽川です
Sorry for the wait.
This is Hanekawa.
Araragi-kun, are you studying?
阿良々木くん ちゃんと勉強してる
Have you been slacking off?
サボってない
That's good to hear.
そう よかった
私 うん いいよ 軽くお昼の勉強してたとこだから
Me? Yeah, it's fine.
I was just doing some afternoon studying.
Red Scene
Animation Number "None"
Eikou Cram School?
叡考塾 うん 知ってるよ
Yeah, I know it.
She really knew it.
You know everything.
お前は何でも知ってるな
I don't know everything.
何でもは知らないわよ 知ってることだけ
I just know what I know.
ていうか阿良々木君 叡考塾なら阿良々木君だって知ってるはずでしょう
Anyway, you should know Eikou Cram School as well.
Because it's...
だって ほら
C
EXIT
It's the abandoned building where Oshino-san and Shinobu-chan lived.
忍野さん忍ちゃんがずうっと住んでたあの廃ビル
あのビルディングに入ってた学習塾がそうなんだからさ
The cram school in that building was Eikou Cram School.
Eikou Cram School, huh? I didn't know it had such a smart- sounding name.
Eikou Cram School, huh?
叡考塾ねえ
そんな頭よさそうな名前の学習塾だったんだ あそこ
I didn't know it had such a smart-sounding name.
It's nothing worth thanking me for...
別にこんなのお礼を言われるほどのことじゃないよ
それじゃあ阿良々木君 神原さんにもよろしく伝えといてね
Bye, Araragi-kun.
Black Scene
Animation Number "None"
Say hi to Kanbaru-san for me.
Bye-bye!
I didn't say anything about going to see Kanbaru...
って 神原に会いに行くなんて
僕 一言も言ってねえ
ほんのちょっと塾の所在を訊くだけのことで
I was just asking her about a cram school.
どれだけ僕のプライベートがばれちゃってるんだよ
How much does she know about of my private life?
代償でか過ぎるだろ
That's too steep a price for information!
わかったんけ 鬼畜なお兄やん
You figure it out?
Devil boy.
あ ええ その
Yes, well...
EXPLAINING
はあん おお なるほどな そっちやったんか
I see.
So that's where it is.
But Kagenui-san, it's gone out of business.
でも影縫さん もうその塾潰れちゃってるんですけれど
何をしに行くんですか
Why are you going there?
んー 何をしに行くゆうわけでもないんやけど
Nothing special, I suppose...
First, to establish a base of operations.
まずは拠点作りかな
Goodbye then, devil boy.
ほな おおきに 鬼畜なお兄やん
Oh, right...
おどれ ひょっとしたら こんくらいのちっちゃ子に
You might get asked the same sort of thing
おんなじように道訊かれるかもしれへんけど
by a girl about this high.
そんときはおんなじようにあんじょう親切にしたってや
Be as kind to her as you were to me.
ん なんだよ
What?
さっきからえらく静かだな 火憐ちゃん
You've been really quiet, Karen-chan.
What's wrong?
どうしたよ
あんな不思議人類の相手を 僕一人に任せてんじゃねえぞ
Don't make me deal with a strange person like that all alone!
あ ごめんなさい
Oh, sorry.
いやあ なんか すげえ強そうな人だなって思ってさ
I was just thinking she was really strong.
構えちゃってた
So I was readying myself.
Strong?
強そう
そうか そうは見えなかったけど
Really?
She didn't look strong.
振る舞いとか言葉遣いとかを除けば
Except for the way she acted and spoke,
どこにでもいる綺麗なお姉さんって感じだったけど
she seemed like just an ordinary pretty woman.
Her center of gravity stayed constant
あの人 兄ちゃんと話してる間中 いっぺんも身体の軸がぶれてなかったよ
the entire time she was chatting with you.
フィギュアスケートの選手並のバランス感覚だ
She had the balance of a figure skater.
But you also walk on tops of walls, right?
けどお前だって ブロック塀の上とか歩いたりするだろ
しかも逆立ちしながら
Even on your hands.
ん まあそうなんだけど
Yeah, that's true...
でも あの人相当鍛えてるよ
But she's spent a lot of time training.
拳の形 かんっぺきに人を殴るための仕様になってたし
Her fists were perfectly shaped for punching people.
W-Were they?
そ そうだっけ
うん クルマのバンパーどついたら エアバックが飛び出す級
Yeah. If she hit a car's bumper, she could set off the airbags.
Goodbye SRS
Restraint
System
Support
Equipment
She's probably as good as my teacher...
あたしの師匠でようやく互角ってところだろありゃ
少なくともあたしじゃ勝てねえ
I couldn't beat her myself.
おやおや 火憐さん 随分と弱気じゃねえか
My, Karen-san...
You're sounding kind of wimpy.
Black Scene
Animation Number "None"
I can tell the difference in strength,
戦力差くらいちゃんとわかるさ
as long as my opponent isn't evil.
相手が悪じゃなけりゃあな
I see.
なるほど
つっても
But I don't know for sure that she isn't.
あの人が悪じゃねえとはまだ決まったわけじゃねえけどさ
August 14th
Animation Number 353
After that, I took Karen to Kanbaru's front gate
その後 僕は火憐を無事に神原家まで送り届け
August 14th
門のところで双方を双方に紹介したのだった
and introduced them to each other.
こちら直江津高校二年生の神原駿河さん
This is Kanbaru Suruga-san, a second-year at Naoetsu High.
変態だから気をつけろ
She's a pervert, so be careful.
This is Araragi Karen-san, a third-year at Tsuganoki 2nd Middle School.
こちら栂の木第二中学三年生の阿良々木火憐さん
馬鹿だから気をつけろ
She's an idiot, so be careful.
いやあ
シンクロして照れてんじゃねえよ 褒めてねえし
Don't both blush at the same time...
Those weren't compliments!
V
Little Sister
Brother
After seeing my sister to Kanbaru's,
火憐を神原家に送り届けた後
Brother
Little Sister
V
一人逆立ちもなし 肩車もなしで家路についたところで
I started home without walking on my hands or riding on someone's shoulders
Hachikuji 5-3
八九寺を発見した
when I found Hachikuji.
Jeez...
どうせみんな ここで僕が喜び勇んで八九寺に飛び掛かるとでも思ってるんだろうな
I'm certain you all expect me to leap on Hachikuji in a burst of joy...
You all expect me to grab a girl,
まだ僕の存在にまるで気付いていない
あの危機感がまったくない生まれたての小鹿みたいな少女に
innocent as a newborn fawn, from behind
後ろからしがみつきでもして
しこたま頬ずりでもすると そんな風に思われちゃってるんだろうな
and start rubbing my face against her.
No, I admit it.
いや 認めるよ
確かに僕にはそういう時代もあった ありました
There was a time when I would have.
There was.
But I'm an adult now.
でももう僕は大人だからね
八九寺真宵という少女に対しては 何の興味も持っていないのだ
I've no interest in the little girl called Hachikuji Mayoi.
まあまあ そうは言っても
But I suppose, given that I have no interest in her,
逆に八九寺に対して興味を失っているからこそ
ここであえて八九寺を無視する理由も特にないのかもしれないな
I've no particular reason to ignore her either...
If I ignore her, she may get the impudent
無視なんかしたら それは逆に変に意識しているからだなんて
そんな厚かましくも図々しい勘違いをされる可能性があるじゃないか
and brazen idea that I'm deliberately ignoring her.
In light of this, and only in light of this, mind you,
それを思えば それを思えばだよ
it may mean that the smartest option would be to call out and greet her
八九寺のことなんて 意識していないというわかりやすい証明として
ここは軽く声を掛けておくというのが賢明な方策なのかもしれないなあ
to prove how disinterested I am in her.
よしよし そういう結論が出てしまったのなら 僕ももう逆らうまい
Okay, then...
With that conclusion reached, it's time to get started.
I'm not hesitant in the least.
まったくもってやぶさかじゃない
早く家に帰って勉強しなくちゃ羽川に怒られちゃうんだけれど
I have to go home and study, or Hanekawa will get mad at me.
ほんの一分だけ 八九寺のために時間を使ってやるとするか
But I'll spare a single minute for Hachikuji.
Now...
さて
Now it's time to grab her as hard as I can...
さあ 思い切りしがみつくぞ 頬ずりするぞ
To rub my cheek against her...
触るぞ 揉むぞ
To touch and rub her...
心行くまで愛するぞ
To love her as much as I can...
今日こそ僕は八九寺を抱く
Today, I shall embrace Hachikuji!
Hachikuji!
八九寺
う うわあ 阿良々木さん
Araragi-san!
Shinobu, that was you?
っつうか忍 てめえの仕業か
くそっ こいつ こいつ こいつ
Damn! Damn you, damn you, damn you!
何の真似だ 何の真似だ 邪魔しやがって
What were you doing? What?
You screwed it up!
You screwed up the biggest event of my life!
僕の人正の最大目標を邪魔しやがって
もう血イヤんねえぞ この金髪金眼
No more blood for you, you golden-eyed blond...
お前のことなんか見捨てときゃよかった
I should've abandoned you!
あ あのう
U-Um...
Um, Kikirara-san?
あのう 木々良々さん
Hachikuji,
八九寺 僕の名前をファンシーグッズのリトルツインスターズみたいに言い間違えるな
don't confuse my name with that of the little twin stars of fancy goods.
My name is Araragi.
僕の名前は阿良々木だ
And when I went flying past you,
つーか お前さっきすっ転んだ僕に対して驚きのリアクションを取るとき
ちゃんと阿良々木さんって言ってたじゃねえか
you said it correctly.
失礼 噛みました
Sorry. I bit my tongue.
No, you did it deliberately.
違う わざとだ
I smiled!
はにかみました えへっ
Too cute!
可愛過ぎる
はあ 阿良々木さんは相変わらずアドリブに弱いですねえ
You're as bad at ad-libbing as ever...
C
No Cars
C
OFF LIMITS DETOUR
C
UNDER CONSTRUCTION DETOUR Sorry for the inconvenience
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Anyway, Araragi-san, you have lots of free time
しかし 阿良々木さん
こんな真昼間からぶらぶらと町中を徘徊するとは 余裕ですね
on your hands to be wandering the city at this hour.
受験勉強は諦めたのですか
Have you given up on studying?
Wandering?
ぶらぶらと徘徊って
Have you given up on pretending to study to make Hanekawa-san like you?
頑張ってる振りをして羽川さんの気を引くの飽きちゃいましたか
人聞きが悪過ぎるわ
That's really mean!
C
DANGER
C
CAUTION
DANGER ZONE
まあ羽川さんはいつまでも阿良々木さんの演技に騙されるようなかたではありませんからね
Well, she's not the type you could fool forever.
おおかた 受験勉強を名目に 羽川さんのキャミ姿を眺めてたのがばれちゃったでしょう
Let me guess.
She realized you were pretending to study, so you could see her in her camisole.
Since in the end, half your motivation comes from her boobs.
阿良々木さんのモチベーションの半分は
羽川さんのおっぱいに関係していますからねえ
What kind of person do you see me as?
僕はお前から見てどんな人間なんだよ
The rest of it is from my hot, curvy body!
残りの半分は不肖私のメリハリボティ
Where is your body hot and curvy?
お前のボティのどこらへんにメリとかハリとかあるんだよ
Your body's more barrel-shaped...
お前のボティはなんていうかこう
You could make some delicious beef stew out of it.
おいしいビーフシチューガ作れそうなくらいの寸胴ボティじゃねえか
I do like you, but I don't like flat lolis.
C
DANGER
C
CAUTION
DANGER ZONE
僕 お前のことは好きだけど
別につるペタのロリが好きってわけじゃないんだよ
DANGER ZONE
お前だって小学生にしては乳がでかいほうだから
I only talk to you because you have big boobs for an elementary schooler.
相手してやってるだけなんだぜ
あくまでもお前の 現時点においてはあってないようなその胸の
I'm taking a chance on the future of your
将来性に期待しているに過ぎない
presently underwhelming bust.
C
FAILURE AS A PERSON
C
DANGER
C
CAUTION
DANGER ZONE
No human being would ever say that.
人類の発言じゃありませんね それ
But anyway, Hachikuji...
まあでもあれだぜ 八九寺
僕は戦場ヶ原と付き合ってるし 羽川のことが大好きだけれど
I'm dating Senjougahara, and I love Hanekawa.
But I plan to marry you.
結婚するならお前だと思ってるぜ
Please don't be the first person to propose to me!
DANGER ZONE
C
CAUTION
私の大事な人生初プロポーズを あなたが奪わないでください 阿良々木さん
ていうか小学生にプロポーズしないでください
Actually, don't propose to elementary schoolers.
Hmm... No luck, huh?
取り合ってもらえない
How can I get the overwhelming passion
僕の胸に溢れるこの情念は
どうすれば八九寺の胸に届くのだろう
in my chest to reach Hachikuji's heart?
Maybe if I touch them directly...
直に触れてみればいいのだろうか
Will fondling them make her understand?
揉めば伝導するのだろうか
Black Scene
Animation Number "None"
Oh, my.
おやおや なんだか嫌な気配を感じますよ
I sense the presence of something bad.
気をつけるんだな 八九寺
Be careful, Hachikuji.
僕はいつだってお前の胸を狙っているぜ
I'm always after your breasts.
ちょっとでもきっかけがあればすぐに触りにいくからな
Given the slightest opportunity, I'll drop whatever I'm doing to touch them.
C
Karabuki
By the way, Karabuki-san.
ところで乾拭木さん
It's true that I plan to clean Kanbaru's room tomorrow,
確かに僕は明日 神原の部屋を掃除する予定だけども
だからと言って別に掃除好きの掃除マニアってわけじゃないんだから
but that doesn't make me a cleaning maniac who loves to clean.
乾いた布での清掃法みたいな名前で僕を呼ぶな
Don't call me by a name that sounds like I clean with a dry karabuki cloth...
My name is Araragi!
僕の名前は阿良々木だ
Sorry. I bit my tongue.
失礼 噛みました
No, you did it deliberately.
C
FAILURE AS A PERSON
C
DANGER
C
CAUTION
DANGER ZONE
違う わざとだ
I bit you.
はみました はむっ
A love-bite?
あまがみっ
Yes!
よっし 今回はちゃんとアドリブに対応できた
This time, I ad-libbed a proper response...
僕もやられっぱなしじゃない
I can do it!
ねえ 鬼のお兄ちゃん
Hey, devil boy.
C
N O E N T R Y
If you know, please tell me
知ってるんだったら教えてよ
僕の知りたい道のこと
which way I want to go...
I said with a posed look.
僕はキメ顔でそう言った
C
N O E N T R Y
C
DANGER
DANGER ZONE
C
CAUTION
I am told there is a cram school
叡考塾って名前の 今はもう潰れちゃってる学習塾があるらしいんだけど
that went out of business called Eikou Cram School.
Do you know where it is, devil boy?
鬼のお兄ちゃん それがどこにあるのか 知らないかな
I said with a posed look.
僕はキメ顔でそう言った
My name is Ononoki Yotsugi.
僕の名前は斧乃木余接
I said with a posed look.
僕はキメ顔でそう言った
That's a stupid phrase.
口癖うぜえ
そう言うからには せめてキメ顔を見せろ
And where the hell is your posed look?
C
DANGER
DANGER ZONE
C
CAUTION
そうかい 僕は阿良々木だよ
I see. I'm Araragi Koyomi.
よろしく 鬼のお兄ちゃん
Hello, devil boy.
I said with a posed look.
僕はキメ顔でそう言った
まあ よろしく
Hi...
Um, Eikou Cram School is...
えっと 叡考塾なら
1
Construction Sorry for the Trouble
C
Turn Right
All right. Thank you.
ふうん そうか ありがとう
助かったよ 鬼のお兄ちゃん それに蝸牛のお嬢ちゃん
You were a big help, devil boy.
And snail girl.
I said with a posed look.
僕はキメ顔でそう言った
DANGER ZONE
C
CAUTION
DANGER ZONE
C
Huh?
あれ
Did she just call you "snail girl"?
DANGER ZONE
C
CAUTION
C
八九寺 あいつ今さっき お前のこと『蝸牛のお嬢ちゃん』って呼ばなかったか
Yeah, she did.
Huh?
あれ なんかおかしくね?
Isn't that strange?
そう言えば 影縫さん 影縫余弦
Come to think of it, Kagenui-san...
Kagenui Yozuru...
She didn't just call me a devil boy.
彼女もまた 僕を鬼畜と呼ぶだけではなく
She said something about Karen.
火憐のことも 何か言ってたような
ふうん 鬼畜なお兄やんに スズメバチの妹け
A devilish brother and a hornet sister.
おもろいやん
Interesting.
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
鬼 鬼畜
Devil...
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Boy
Devil
Devils who suck blood...
鬼 血を吸う鬼
Vampires
Vampires.
Vampires
吸血鬼
Vampires
Anyway, Araragi-san, from what I saw she looked pretty capable.
しかし阿良々木さん
私の見るところ あの子なかなかできますよ
You'd have to be as good as my master to be a match for her.
私の師匠でようやく互角ぐらいでしょうね
White Scene
Animation Number "None"
To be continued.
You don't have a master.
お前に師匠なんかいねえよ
Dialogue Script - Nisio Isin
4-Koma Illustrations - Haritama Hiroki
Preview
I'm Shinobu.
We're the fire sisters!
Let me live up to your expectations and talk of donuts.
At long last I managed to show my master the greatness of Golden Chocolate donuts earlier.
We're in big trouble!
Hehehe
Hohoho
But all he did was make fun of it.
Wonderful! Amazing!
Hiyaa!
We've lost!
"But hey, the golden part is by no means chocolate, is it?", for example.
Are you kidding me?
At least tell us your name!
Huh? She's going home?
That's like complaining about a brandname like Mister Donut word by word!
I really got the urge to stuff his mouth full of golden crumples then.
Brother, there was this beautiful girl...
What?
Thump
Rub Rub
I will now punish him with silence for a while.
Next time! Tsukihi Phoenix, Part 3!
Next Time
Tsukihi Phoenix Part 3
When I say it as Tsukimi Phoenix, it reminds me of McDonald's.
This is a misunderstanding!
Ha ha ha