Sodachi Lost
Back then, even the few friends I had were unaware of my parents' occupation,
当時 数少ない友人でも知らなかった僕の両親の職種を
いったいどうして老倉は知ったのか?
so how did Oikura know?
Or so Hanekawa asked me yesterday before school.
そんな疑問を 羽川から投げかけられたのが昨日の早朝のこと
Question
I could not answer.
僕は答えられなかった
まったくわからなかった
I didn't know.
どうしても思い出せないんだったら ご両親に訊いてみるというのは如何(いかが)かな?
If you can't remember, why don't you ask your parents?
Question
果たして それで答は判明した
This, ultimately, led to the answer.
僕と老倉は小学生の頃に会っていたのだ
Oikura and I had met in grade school.
つまり 幼なじみである
We are childhood friends.
正確に言うと僕が小学六年生くらいの頃か
To be precise, it was when I was in sixth grade.
僕が妹の月火や 月火が遊びに連れてきていた千石達と 遊んでいたくらいの頃の話
It was roughly around the time I played with Sengoku and my sister Tsukihi.
僕は老倉育と共にいた
Oikura was there at home with me.
I don't really remember much from grade school,
撫子はあんまり小学生の頃の思い出がないから
月火ちゃん 当時はららちゃんって呼んでたけど
but I remember the time I played with Tsukihi back then.
と遊んでたときのことは よく覚えてるの
Well, I called her Rara.
もちろん 暦お兄ちゃんのことも
Of course I remember you too, Koyomi.
だそうだ
So she said.
One day—
ある日
いや 思い出したみたいな口調で語っている僕ではあるが
Well, I say all this as though I remember it now,
まだまったく真実として 思い出せていない
but in reality, I don't.
まったく記憶にない
I don't really remember it at all.
両親が質問した僕に そう語ったというだけだ
I'm merely relaying what my parents have told me.
ともかく ある日
Anyway, one day,
両親がひとりの女の子を連れて家に帰ってきた
my parents brought home a little girl with them.
その女の子というのがもちろん 今で言う老倉育である
That girl is, of course, Oikura Sodachi.
両親は大して説明もしないまま
My parents didn't really explain,
この子をしばらくうちに置くから仲良くするようにと 僕と二人の妹に告げたそうだ
and merely asked my sisters and me to get along with her since she would be staying with us for a little while.
両親は児童老倉を 彼女の"家庭"から保護する形で 自分の家に連れ帰ってきたのだ
My parents brought the young Oikura home to shield her from her family.
おそらくは当時から暴力が跋扈(ばっこ)していたと思われる 彼女の"家庭"から
Her family, which at the time must have begun to descend into violence.
There was a strange girl there.
なんだか不思議な人がいると思っていたよ
一緒に遊ぼうとはしないし
She didn't want to play with us,
でも部屋から出ていこうともしないし
but she didn't leave the room either.
喋らないし
She didn't talk.
しかし いきなり彼女はいなくなった
One day, she was gone.
もっともそれは、 児童老倉が 自ら 自らの家に帰ったというだけのことだったらしい
The young Oikura had decided she wanted to go home to her family.
自らだ
Nobody forced her.
彼女の両親が取り戻しに来たとか 僕の両親が彼女を諸事情で保護しきれなくなったとかではなく
Her parents didn't come to collect her, nor did my parents run into trouble letting her stay at our home.
分の判断で児童老倉は 僕の"我が家"を出 彼女の"我が家"に帰ったのだそうだ
The young Oikura decided she had to leave our version of a family and go back to her own.
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I've always known
that words are lies
Quickly we forget
that which is vague and unclear
by escaping into a realm of magic
which stifles truth
During a sunless summer
I derived
the answer alone
The answer was you
I found an answer
that I thought was more correct
than anybody else
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Coming here sure is ballsy.
よく来たわね
Oikura's Condo — Entrance
その度胸だけは誉めて上げるわ 阿良々Ｇっ
I'll admit that, Ararag—
Arara
言いにくいのよ おまえもなまめっ
It's hard to say. Your mame—
As Before — Dining Room
えっと 元気そうだね 老倉さん
You look well, Oikura.
よかった
Thank goodness.
元気そう?
I look well?
そう見える?
You really think so?
本当... どんだけ猫被ってたのよ あの子
She puts on quite the act, doesn't she?
おとなしいだけの病弱っ子じゃないとは思っていたけれど...
I mean, I always suspected she was more than a sickly, quiet girl, but...
いっそ傷害罪で訴えてやろうかしら
Perhaps I should have her tried for assault.
腫れが引かないうちにお医者さんに行って 診断書とかもらってきてさ
I could go to a doctor while the swelling is still there and get a medical certificate.
そうすればあいつ 大学推薦とか取り消されるんじゃない?
There's no way the school would write her a recommendation after that.
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Y—
何をっ
What?
Why are you poking my cheek?
な なにっ... 何ほっぺつついてくれてんのよ
You poked—
つんつんって
Do you think we're close enough for jokes like that?
そんな茶目っ気が発揮できるような間柄だったっけ 私達?
Do you want to get tried too?
何の罪で訴えられたいの お前!
その頬じゃ 医者に行っても診断書はもらえないと思うぜ
I think going to a doctor with your cheek would be fruitless,
老倉
Oikura.
あれ?
Huh?
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あの腫れが二晩で治るだなんて
Did the swelling really go down in two days?
なんて快復力なの 私
Why did I heal so quickly?
別に何の問題もなく元気みたいだし
I just meant you seemed to have no particular trouble.
明日からまた 学校に来られるんだよね? 老倉さん
You'll go to school again tomorrow, right?
委員長のお仕事ってわけ?
You're asking me this as the class rep, I assume?
えーっと...
Um...
Hanekawa, was it?
羽川さん? だっけ?
そう
Yes.
羽川翼だよ
Hanekawa Tsubasa.
Our homeroom teacher must have asked you to come here.
先生に頼まれて 私を迎えに来たって感じかしら?
Hanekawa aside...
羽川さんはともかく
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Why the hell are you here, A—
なんでお前が来るわけ?あ―
A—ra—ra—gi?
阿 良 々 木
私はお前の顔なんて見たくないし
I don't want to see your face,
お前だって私の顔なんて見たくないんじゃないの?
and I'm sure you don't want to see mine.
私達って ねえ 確かとっても仲が悪かったはずなんですけれど
I believe we are on exceptionally bad terms.
それって私の勘違いでしたっけ?
Am I under some misconception?
勘違いじゃない
You're not.
But it wasn't always like this.
だが それだけでもなかったはずだ
Isn't that what you tried to tell me yesterday?
お前が一昨日 それを教えてくれたんじゃなかったのか?
小学生のときだって
I remember grade school too.
いやほら 老倉さんが紅茶を投げたら危ないなって思って あらかじめ用心してただけだよ
Oh, I was prepared, thinking, hey, it would be pretty dangerous if she threw the black tea at us.
昨日は戦場ヶ原さんを止められなかったから 反省した
I couldn't stop Senjougahara the day before yesterday, so I reflected on my mistake.
Too much reflection.
Oikura.
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老倉
I want to talk.
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話をしようぜ
昔の話を 僕とお前の話をだ
I want to talk about what happened between you and me in the past.
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In the end,
the one who faced Oikura was me
and not Hanekawa.
私はお前が嫌いだ
I hate you.
Sodachi Lost
思い出した...
You remembered...
思い出しただけじゃなくて その様子じゃ 五年越しでようやく あのとき私がしようとしていたことが 伝わったってことなんでしょうね
Not just remember, but after five years you finally understand what I was trying to do, it seems.
ってことは お前 相当 私のことを馬鹿にしているんでしょうね
You must be here to make fun of me
お前に精一杯媚(せいいっぱいこ)びを売って 助けてもらおうとしていた
for having tried so hard to seduce you
私のことを
into helping me.
媚びをって
Seduce you?
S-So low.
ばっ... 馬鹿みたい
馬鹿みたい 馬鹿みたい 馬鹿みたい
I've sunk so low, so low, so low.
私 本当 馬鹿みたい!
I've sunk so low!
I'm so ashamed that I had to seduce someone like you into helping me.
こ こんな奴に媚びを売ってまで 助かろうとした自分が恥ずかしい!
わ 私はプライドを捨てて あのとき こんな奴におもねった!
I threw away all my pride to flatter you.
べろべろ靴をなめた!
I was licking your boots!
気持ち的に!
Emotionally!
I made a much bigger mistake trying to correct a different one.
失敗を取り戻すつもりで もっと酷い失敗をした...
I'm so ashamed!
恥ずかしい 恥ずかしい!
恥ずかしい 恥ずかしい
I'm so ashamed!
死にたい!
I want to die!
I want to disappear!
いなくなっちゃいたい!
だけど 阿良々木
Y'know, Araragi.
これは 私じゃなくても きっと同じことになってたと思うのよ
I don't think I'm the problem here.
I don't think I'm particularly unfortunate.
私が特別不幸なんじゃないと思うの
This kind of thing is not uncommon.
こういうのは よくあることなの
Hey, don't you agree?
ねえ お前もそう思わない?
You're not pitying me, are you?
まさか私に同情なんてしてないでしょうね?
私を憐(あわ)れまないで
Don't commiserate me.
大嫌いなお前に憐れまれると 本当に死にたくなるの
I might want to die for real if you commiserate me.
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お前からは何を言われても仕方ないって思ってるよ
I'll accept everything you have to say.
お前から受け取ったものを 僕は何一つ返していないんだから
I haven't done anything to repay you yet.
だからお前が憐れむなと言うなら憐れまない
If you don't want me to commiserate you, I won't.
If you don't want me to atone, I won't.
償うなと言うならもちろん償わないよ
何それ
Huh?
格好つけてるつもり?
Are you trying to flaunt?
そういう態度が潔いとでも思っているの?
Is this your idea of gallantry?
そんなことして 自分は上等な人間のつもり?
Your idea of the moral high ground?
潔いとか...
You wasted
実際はただ投げ出しているだけなのに
your chance at gallantry.
Yes, perhaps.
だけど投げ出したのはお前も同じじゃないのか?
And you wasted your chance too.
仕方ないじゃない
Yes, I did.
それは私のせいじゃない
What was I to do?
投げ出すのは 嫌になったら逃げ出すのは 親のせいなのよ
That I wasted my chance, that I ran away when I couldn't take it anymore, is my parents' fault.
They're the bad guys.
親が悪いのよ
私がこんなんなのは親の責任だ
It's my parents' fault that I'm reduced to this.
その親はどうしてんだ? 今
What are your parents doing now?
おっと!
Oh, my!
何、気にしてくれるの!
What, you care about my family?
私ごときの家族構成を
You care about my crumbling ruin of a family?
中学生の頃はまったく考慮してくれなかったのに
You definitely didn't care in middle school!
お前が助けてくれなかったあと めでたく離婚したわよ
Thankfully, my parents divorced after you elected to not help me.
私はお母さんに引き取られて この町を離れた
My mother took custody of me and we left this town.
男親が今どうしているかなんて 知ったこっちゃないわ
I don't give a shit what my father is up to right now.
そうよ
Yeah.
あの家をああしたのは男親
He was the one.
That piece of shit.
あのクズ
お母さんはたまに私をぶつくらいだったわ
My mother only hit me sometimes.
男親に殴られた憂(う)さ晴(ば)らしに
Whenever she was tired of taking hits from my father.
私 こんな風に二年以上 引きこもっているわけだけど
I spent two years hardly leaving this apartment,
私のお母さんも引きこもった
and my mother never left our home either.
母子家庭になってから すぐに ね
It was right after we moved.
離婚したのがじわじわ来たみたいで
The divorce was taking its toll on her.
新しいおうちの一室に引きこもって 出てこなくなったわ
She locked herself up in a room in our new home and didn't leave it.
出てこなく
She didn't leave it?
本当 酷かったのよ
It was really difficult.
鍵のある部屋こもっちゃって 部屋の隅でうずくまって
There she was in a locked room, huddling in a corner.
She completely stopped eating after a while.
食事さえ そのうち全然食べなくなって
She boarded up the window and kept the curtains closed.
お母さん 窓には板を打ち付けた上で カーテンずっと閉めっぱなしにしてて
もう部屋は真っ暗
Her room was total darkness.
I could hear her mumbling away.
それで ずーっとぶつぶつ言ってたけど...
Endless mumbling about how parents can't choose their kids.
親は子供を選べないとかなんとか ぶつぶつ言ってたけれど
いつからか 私が何を話しかけてもまったく無視するようになった
Eventually she ignored me completely.
Thankfully, Japan is relatively wealthy.
幸い 日本は比較的福祉が充実している国だからね
書類をきちんと揃えれば 親子二人 ぎりぎり食べていくことくらいはできたわ
Hand all the necessary paperwork in, and a mother and her child can just about survive.
だから私は お母さんいなくなっちゃえばいいなんて 思ったことは一度もない
I never once hoped my mother would disappear.
それだけは確かなのよ
I can promise you that.
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だって私は毎晩祈っていたんだもの
Every night I prayed.
I prayed that I would never wish for my mother to disappear.
お母さんなんていなくなっちゃえばいいのになんて私が思いませんようにって
お母さんなんていなくなっちゃえばいいのになんて私が思いませんように
I prayed that I would never wish for my mother to disappear.
お母さんなんていなくなっちゃえばいいのになんて私が思いませんように
I prayed that I would never wish for my mother to disappear.
お母さんなんていなくなっちゃえばいいのになんて私が思いませんように
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だけど お母さんはいなくなった
But my mother disappeared.
私の願いに反して
Against my wishes.
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
Against
my wishes
ある日 私に何も言わず 私に何も告げず
One day, without saying anything, without leaving me a message,
she was gone.
お母さんはいなくなった
学校から帰ってきたら お母さんはいなかった
When I came home from school, she wasn't there.
お母さんはいなくなってた
She was gone.
突然 なんの前触れもなくどっか行っちゃうなんて ほら 私にそっくりでしょう?
She disappeared without warning just like I did, huh?
女の子は男親に似るなんて言うけれど
They say a daughter often takes after her father,
私はきっとお母さん似なのね
but I suppose I'm taking after my mother.
Oikura, most likely
smiled like her mother.
Sodachi Lost
I made dinner and brought it to her room.
夕飯を作って 部屋に持って行ったのよ
鍵を開けて中に這入ったら もぬけのからだった
I unlocked the door. The room was completely empty.
No letter.
置き手紙さえなかった
私の両親
I don't know
Oikura
said so.
where either
もう二人とも
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
crippled
with her emotions
of my parents are right now.
私には居場所がわからない
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
and with her heart
sundered.
ともかく 私はそれで お母さんの世話から解放された
Either way, I was relieved of taking care of my mother.
勉強の遅れも取り戻した
I caught up with my studies.
名目上の保護者を親戚の中から見つけて
I found someone among my relatives who would put their name down for guardianship,
それから国の補助を受ける形で この町に帰ってきた
and went back to this town to get welfare.
Oikura
お前に会いたくなかったから 本当は帰ってきたくなかったけれど
I really didn't want to see you ever again,
but this was the only town with available housing.
ここしか空きがなかったのよ
どうして一人暮らしをすることにしたんだ?
Why did you want to live alone?
お母さんと一緒に住んでた家に そのまま住み続けてもよかったはずなのに
You could have stayed at the place you shared with your mother.
どうしてそこでわざわざ引っ越しを?
Why did you move?
ゴミ屋敷だったから
Because it was a filthy hellhole.
今から掃除するより 家ごと捨てたほうがいいと思ったの
Rather than clean up our mess, I wanted to leave it all behind.
反省を生かして ここでは家具を少な目にしてあるのよね
I'm using very little furniture here now.
Isn't this place nice and clean?
すっきりしているでしょ?
わかった?
Do you understand now?
私がそんなに不幸じゃないってことが
I'm not that unfortunate.
What happened to me could have happened to anyone.
これくらいのことなら 誰の身にも起こりえることでしょう?
多かれ少なかれ 誰しも経験する
Everyone has these experiences to one degree or another.
よくあることって言うか
It's not that uncommon...
苦労話にもなってないって言うか
It's not a tearjerker.
まあ人並みよりはちょっと辛いかもしれないけれど でもそんなこと言ってたら 世の中やっていけないよね
I guess it was a little harder than the average life, but that's just looking for excuses.
強いて言えば親が引きこもるっていうのだけは 珍しいことなんだろうけれど
In the end, the only thing truly rare about it is that my mother became a shut-in,
but I can look at that as a rare and valuable experience.
でもそれは滅多にない 得難い経験ができたんだって喜ぶべきなんだよね
私だけが不幸なわけじゃないんだから 頑張らないと
I have to accept my experiences because many others have it just as hard.
私はまだ幸せなほうよ
I can count myself relatively lucky
because at least I'm still alive.
こうして生きているんだから
だから 同情なんてしなくていいって
You don't have to pity me.
謝らなくても 償わなくてもいいって 阿良々木
You don't have to apologize or atone, Araragi.
罪滅しなんて全然いいんだって
There's no need for amends.
なんか話したらすっきりしちゃったし
Speaking to you takes a load off my mind.
どうせ全部 昔の話だしね
It's all water under the bridge, anyway.
お前の望む昔話は 昔々のお話でしかないのよ
You want to talk about the past, but it's all in the past.
全部終わった物語
That story has ended.
End
I picked a fight because you annoyed me as a person.
ムカついたから絡んだりしたけどさ
I don't want anything from you.
今更お前に 何かしてもらおうとか思ってないって
End Story 1 Sodachi Lost Part Two
Black
あえて言うなら
I suppose I do want one thing.
帰ってくれないかな
Could you please go home?
If she tells us to go home,
we have no choice but to go home.
老倉さん
Oikura,
鍵を開けて って言った?
you said you unlocked the door, right?
Wh—
何?
Uh...
ええ そうよ
Yes.
鍵を開けて中に這入ったら お母さんがいなくなってたって
You said you unlocked the door and your mother was gone.
でも 窓には板が打ち付けてあったんだよね?
But you also said she boarded up the window, right?
それで ドアに鍵がかかっていたんなら
If the door was locked,
how did your mother leave the room?
お母さんはどこから出て行ったの?
Sodachi Lost
How did your mother leave the room?
Locked Room
どこからって
How?
そりゃ 扉からでしょ?
Through the door, I would assume.
鍵は内側からなら つまみをひねれば開くんだから
She could just turn the knob to unlock it from the inside.
それで出ていけるじゃない
Then she left.
Did the door have smart lock, then?
じゃあ オートロックのドアだったの?
No, it was a normal one with a key.
普通の鍵の奴よ
But
でも鍵なんて
家の中に適当にどっかその辺に置いてあっただけから
I left the key somewhere next to the door.
お母さんが出て行くときに締めたんでしょ
She probably just locked it again and left.
まあ...
Huh...
Well,
そうだ ね
I suppose.
じゃあ老倉
Okay, Oikura.
部屋の鍵じゃなくて 玄関の鍵はどうだったんだ?
Was the front door locked?
はあ? なんでそんなどうでもいいことに
Huh? Who cares about that?
覚えてないけど
I don't really remember.
覚えてないってことは印象に残ってないってことで
If you don't remember, it must have been unremarkable,
だったらちゃんと錠は落ちていたんじゃないの?
so we should assume it was locked.
開いてたらその時点で変だって思うはずだし
You would have noticed if it had been unlocked.
I don't get it.
わけわかんない
私のお母さんの失踪が そんなに気になるの?
Why do you care so much about my mother's disappearance?
どうして?
Why?
End Story 1 Sodachi Lost Part Two
Black
Hey, Araragi.
ねえ 阿良々木
End Story 1 Sodachi Lost Part Two
Black
お前の家に保護されたとき 私がどんな気分だったか わかる?
Do you understand how I felt when I stayed with your family?
何を見せつけられているのか と思ったわよ
I was completely dumb-founded.
自分の家を 自分の家庭を 私は当たり前だと思ってたからね
I thought my own family was normal.
窓の割れていない
Yours had no broken windows,
壁の割れていない
no cracks in the wall,
床の割れていない
no chips in the floor.
あんな小綺麗な家が あんな穏やかな家庭があるだなんて 信じられなかった
I couldn't believe your home was neat, tidy, and peaceful.
だからずっと おまえ達を睨んでいた
That's why I just stared at you.
無言で睨みつけていた
Without words, I stared at you.
Do you remember?
覚えている?
Yes.
A lie.
I have no memory of that time.
まぶしかった
It was so radiant.
だから逃げ出したんだ まぶしさにくらんで
That's why I ran away.
目が潰れそうだったから
The radiance dazzled me, blinded me.
あたたかさに ぬくもりに
The warmth and love
I wish I'd never known.
ripped my body apart.
身が潰されそうだったから
I wish
でも だめだった
But it didn't work.
手遅れだった
It was too late.
I'd never met you.
一度あんなものを見てしまえば 私の家は悲惨なんだってことがわかっちゃった
I'd already realized that my own family was wretched.
It was a relatively normal family.
To her, it was radiant.
It was a relatively normal family.
To her, it was radiant.
It was a relatively normal family.
To her, it was radiant.
It was a relatively normal family.
To her, it was radiant.
It was a relatively normal family.
To her, it was radiant.
It was a relatively normal family.
To her, it was radiant.
It was too late for me then.
わかっちゃったときには もう私はどうしようもなかった
I tried to find odd ways to change my family
変になんとかしようとして 反抗的だと言われるようになった
and for being rebellious they beat me even more
余計に殴られるようになった
but only where my clothes would hide it.
見えないところで
Over and over
見えないところ
をボコボコにされた
where people couldn't see it.
だけど逃げてきた私は 逃げられなかった
But, having run back to them, I couldn't run away.
Not anymore.
もう逃げられなかった
だからお前に中学校で再会したときは運命だとさえ思ったわよ
When I met you again in middle school, I thought it was a stroke of benevolent fate.
頑張って媚びを売ったでしょ?
Didn't I try really hard to seduce you?
ま その反動で高校生のときに 二回目の再会を果たしたときは
Well, the rebound came when I met you again in high school.
いささかキツくなり過ぎたけどね
It was all the more difficult.
どの道お前は私を忘れてたわけだから 関係ないんけど
You forgot me, so it's not like it matters.
End Story 1 Sodachi Lost Part Two
Black
ったく... うまくいかないなあ
Things just never work out, do they?
鉄条がいなくなって 今度こそやり直せると思ったのに
I thought I'd start over when Ms. Tetsujou was gone,
また阿良々木が同じクラスとか ありえない
but there you were in my class.
Perhaps it really is fate,
やっぱり運命じみたものを感じるよ
呪いのような運命を
and fate is a cruel mistress.
You appear at the turning points in my life and sow the seeds of calamity.
お前は私の人生の節目節目に現れて 災厄をまき散らしていく
僕のせいか?
Is it my fault?
そうよ
Yes.
お前のせいで私の人生 滅茶苦茶よ
It's your fault my life is a mess.
No.
違う
わかってるわよ
I know it's not.
お前のせいじゃない 私が悪いってことは
It's my fault, not yours.
お母さんの言ったことが正しいんだ
It's like my mother said.
If she'd had a different child, life would have been better.
生まれたのが私じゃなきゃあ もっとまっとうな人生だった
End Story 1 Sodachi Lost Part Two
Black
It's my fault.
私が悪い
I hate myself.
私が嫌い
私は私が嫌い
I hate myself so much.
だけどさあ お前のせいにでもしなきゃ やってられないんだ 阿良々木
But I have to blame you for it, Araragi, or I can't live on.
申し訳ないけど 私の悪者になってよ
I'm honestly sorry, but you have to be my villain.
Blaming my parents isn't enough anymore
もう駄目なんだよ 追いつかないんだよ
to keep me intact.
親を悪者にしているだけじゃあ
老倉
Oikura.
どうしてうまくいかないんだろう
Why won't it work out?
私 ちゃんとやってるのに
I'm living a good life.
努力しているし 頑張ってるし
I'm really trying. I'm doing what I can.
そりゃ性格とか頭とか 色々おかしいところはあるけれど
I've got psychological problems and I know it,
ここまでの罰を受けるような悪いこと 何にもしてないじゃん
but what have I done to deserve this punishment?
教えてよ 阿良々木
Tell me, Araragi.
お前 今幸せなんでしょう?
You're happy, right?
それに少しでも私が貢献(こうけん)しているって言うのなら そう思ってくれるなら 教えてよ
If you think I made the slightest contribution to your happiness, please tell me.
Why can't I be happy?
どうして私は幸せになれないの
あなたが幸せになれないのは あなたが幸せになろうとしていないからだよ
You can't be happy because you're not trying to be happy.
幸せになろうとしない人を 幸せにすることは誰にもできない
Nobody can make someone happy who doesn't try to be happy.
知った風なことを言ってくれるじゃない
You talk like you know everything.
何でもは知らないわよ
I don't know everything.
知ってることだけ
I just know what I know.
本当 その通り
You're absolutely right.
正解
Correct answer.
Answer
だってさあ
I mean, look at me.
私の脆さで幸せになんかなったら ぐしゃって潰れちゃうよ
I'm so brittle happiness would smash me.
目も身も 潰れちゃうよ
My eyes blinded, my body ripped apart.
幸せの重みに耐えられない
Happiness is too heavy for me.
今更幸せになるより ぬるーい不幸に足首まで浸かって 適当に凌(しの)いでいきたい
I just want to survive the days, steeped in mild unhappiness.
靴をずぶ濡れにして生きていきたい
I want it to drive me forward.
実際そうして来たし
That's what I've done so far.
I don't want to be happy anymore.
今更幸せになんてなりたくない
It's too late for that.
手遅れなんだよ
Too late
Then when wouldn't it have been too late?
Was it already too late
Then when wouldn't it have been too late?
Was it already too late
long before then—
Then when wouldn't it have been too late?
Was it already too late
long before then—
Then when wouldn't it have been too late?
Was it already too late
long before then—
Was it already too late
long before then—
Was it already too late
long before then—
Was it already too late
long before then—
Was it already too late
long before then—
Was it already too late
long before then—
For my childhood friend.
in the past,
For my childhood friend.
Is everything too late,
in the past,
For my childhood friend.
Is everything too late,
in the past,
For my childhood friend.
Is everything too late,
in the past,
For my childhood friend.
Is everything too late,
in the past,
Is everything too late,
in the past,
For my childhood friend.
Is everything too late,
in the past,
unable to be undone,
changed
or remedied?
unable to be undone,
changed
or remedied?
For my childhood friend.
unable to be undone,
changed
or remedied?
For my childhood friend.
unable to be undone,
changed
or remedied?
For my childhood friend.
unable to be undone,
changed
or remedied?
unable to be undone,
For my childhood friend.
changed
or remedied?
Is everything too late,
No.
in the past,
No.
It isn't.
No.
It isn't.
We can do it.
It isn't.
We can do it.
It's not too late.
End Story 1 Sodachi Lost Part Two
Black
ねえよ
お前が潰れるほど重い幸せなんてこの世にねえ
There's no happiness heavy enough to rip you apart.
幸せは まぶしくもなければ重くもない
Happiness is neither radiant nor heavy.
幸せを過大評価するな
You overestimate happiness.
あらゆる幸せは お前にとってちょうどいいんだ
There are a million ways for you to be happy.
だからそんな風に 幸せを嫌うな
Don't hate happiness.
世界を嫌うな
Don't hate the world.
何もかもを嫌うな
Don't hate everything.
Don't hate yourself.
自分を嫌うな
お前の身体の中にある"嫌い"は全部 僕が受け止めてやるから
I'd gladly take all the hate you have in you.
受け入れてやるから
I can be the one you hate.
お前はもっと自分のことを好きになれ
Love yourself.
You can hate me as much as you like.
Love yourself at least as much
as I used to love you.
確かに僕は今 とても幸せだ
It's true. I'm very happy right now.
だからこそあえて言うぞ!
So I'll say this.
こんなもんはな 誰もが持ってて 当たり前のもんなんだよ!
What I have is pretty normal!
Well said.
よく言った
役場
The town hall.
役場の人が来るのよ もうすぐ
Soon the people from the town hall will come.
Sorry to interrupt you at such a lively point, but could you please go home?
熱くなってるところ悪いんだけど 本当に帰ってくれないかな
私がちゃんと生活してるかどうかチェックしに
They want to check how I'm doing.
不登校をぎりぎり大目に見てもらってるような状況でね
They're gracious enough to overlook my absence from school,
学校の同級生と言い合いしているところを見られると まずいの
but I don't want them to see me arguing with you.
そう
Okay.
じゃあ 今日は帰るね
We will go home, then.
でも私達は明日も来るよ
We'll be back tomorrow.
明後日も 土日も関係なく
The day after, too, and also on the weekend.
迷惑かもしれないけれど 好きな人には迷惑をかけるのが 私達のやりかただから
Maybe you think we're pestering you, but pestering the people we like is what we do.
おっと 言い忘れてた
Oh, I forgot to say this.
これ最初に言っとかなきゃね
I should've said this earlier.
私 あなたのこと 結構好きになっちゃったから
You know, I really like you.
Okay.
End Story 1 Sodachi Lost Part Two
Black
じゃあ あなた達
いなくなったお母さんを見つけて頂戴
Please find my mother, then.
見つけてくれたら 学校に行ってあげてもいいわ
I'll come to school if you find her.
I'll also apologize to Senjougahara.
戦場ヶ原さんに 謝ってあげても
I hear your laughter near me
You were supposed to be there forever
I breathed onto the classroom window and wrote your name
only to panic and wipe it with my sleeve
I heard your voice from the hallway
and went home in hurry to hide my feelings
At some point I became unable
to talk to you normally
I can hear your laughter a ways away
You were supposed to be next to me forever
You knew how I felt
even when I said nothing
Now I know how important you were to me,
but we will never see each other again