Marriage.
結婚
The institution where one's existence goes to die.
それは 人生の墓場だ
All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss.
既婚者は例外なく その素晴らしさを誇らしげに語る
About how they love saying "I'm home!" to their spouses,
やれ「ただいま」を言う相手がいると嬉しいだの
or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow.
子どもの寝顔を見ると明日も頑張れるだの
But think about it.
だが ちょっと待って欲しい
実家にいても 「ただいま」は言えるし
You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents.
何ならうがい薬を買って 河馬にでも「ただいま」を言えばいい
You can even buy some mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label.
それに 子どもの寝顔を見るってことは
And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids,
that just means they're working hellish overtime hours.
残業地獄ということだ
How is that in any way blissful?
それが本当に幸福であると言えるだろうか
They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own.
幸せを説いているはずの彼らの目は 俺同様腐っていて
Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp.
まるで人を沼地に取り込むゾンビのようだ
Here you are!
お待たせー
Oh, sorry for always troubling you.
いつもすまないね
Hachiman, you promised me you'd quit saying that.
お兄ちゃん それは言わない約束でしょう
Uh, I don't like tomatoes.
俺トマト嫌いなんだけど
うん だから入れといた
That's exactly why I added them.
Now see here, Komachi...
いや あのね 小町ちゃん
You're way too picky.
お兄ちゃんは好き嫌いが多いからね
When it comes to people or food.
人でも 食べ物でも
You say that like it's a bad thing.
別に悪いことじゃない
Putting up with things one loathes ends up making everyone miserable.
嫌いなのに 無理してもお互い不幸なだけだ
I can't imagine you ever getting married.
お兄ちゃんは結婚とか無理そうだな
育ってきた環境が違うのであれば
People who grow up in different environments will invariably have different tastes and preferences.
sweetened condensed
好き嫌いがあるのも否めない
Therefore, could one say that the subsequent marriages necessarily lead to happiness?
故に 結婚が必ずしも幸せと限らないのではないだろうか
Got some ketchup on you!
ケチャップ付いてる
That one scored high in my book!
今の小町的にポイント高い
Maybe if you hadn't said the last part.
その余計な一言がなければな
When it's all said and done, people will have to accept
最終的にこれはもうあれだな
that having a little sister is just as good as being married.
「結婚しなくても 妹がいればいいんじゃないの」
If certain merchants included free games with consoles,
メーカーは本体とか円盤同梱するなら
妹同梱しろよ
free little sisters would guarantee more sales.
絶対売れるぞ
陽
の
満
ち
る
こ
の
部
屋
hi
no
mi
chi
陽
ru
In this room filled with sunlight
ko
no
he
ya
hi
の
陽
no
満
の
mi
ち
満
chi
る
ち
ru
こ
る
ko
の
こ
no
部
の
he
屋
部
そ
っ
と
ト
キ
を
待
つ
よ
ya
屋
so
そ
t
to
っ
そ
to
ki
I quietly wait for you
wo
so
ma
tsu
yo
t
と
っ
to
ト
と
キ
ト
to
ki
を
キ
wo
待
を
ma
つ
待
tsu
よ
つ
yo
よ
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
気
づ
け
ば
俯
瞰
で
眺
め
て
る
箱
ki
zu
気
ke
ba
fu
ki
When I noticed, I was looking down at a box
ka
づ
n
de
zu
na
ga
me
te
ru
け
ha
ko
ke
ば
ba
俯
fu
瞰
ka
n
で
de
眺
na
ga
め
me
て
te
る
ru
箱
同
じ
目
線
は
無
く
ha
ko
o
na
ji
同
me
se
With different eyes
n
wa
na
o
ku
じ
na
ji
目
me
線
se
n
は
wa
無
na
く
ku
い
つ
し
か
心
は
白
色
不
透
明
i
tsu
い
shi
ka
ko
At some point my heart grew cloudy white
ko
ro
つ
wa
ha
i
ku
sho
ku
tsu
fu
し
to
u
me
i
shi
か
ka
心
ko
ro
は
wa
白
ha
ku
色
sho
ku
不
透
fu
to
雪
に
落
ち
明
た
光
も
散
る
u
me
i
yu
ki
ni
o
雪
The light falling on the snow fades away
chi
ta
hi
yu
ka
ri
mo
chi
ru
に
ki
ni
落
o
ち
た
chi
ta
光
hi
ka
ri
も
mo
散
chi
る
ru
雲
か
ら
こ
ぼ
れ
る
冷
た
い
雨
雲
ku
mo
ka
ra
ko
A cold rain spills down from the clouds
bo
re
ru
ku
か
tsu
me
ta
mo
i
ら
a
me
ka
こ
ra
ぼ
ko
れ
bo
re
る
冷
ru
tsu
た
me
い
ta
雨
i
a
me
目
を
晴
ら
す
の
は
遠
い
春
風
だ
け
me
目
wo
ha
ra
su
The distant spring wind clears my eyes
no
wa
to
me
o
を
i
ha
wo
晴
ru
ka
ら
ze
ha
da
ke
ra
す
su
の
no
は
wa
遠
to
o
い
i
春
ha
ru
風
ka
ze
だ
け
da
ke
ア
ザ
レ
ア
を
咲
か
せ
て
a
za
re
a
wo
sa
As the azalea bloom,
ア
ka
se
te
a
ザ
za
レ
ア
re
a
を
wo
咲
sa
か
ka
せ
se
て
暖
か
te
い
庭
ま
で
a
ta
ka
i
Take me with you, take me with you
暖
ni
wa
ma
de
a
ta
か
ka
い
i
庭
ni
wa
ま
連
れ
出
し
ma
て
連
れ
出
し
で
て
な
ん
て
ね
de
tsu
連
re
da
shi
te
tsu
To that warm garden
れ
re
da
re
shi
te
出
da
し
shi
て
te
連
tsu
れ
出
re
da
し
shi
て
te
na
n
te
ne
な
Or so I wish
na
ん
n
て
te
ね
ne
幸
せ
だ
け
描
い
た
お
伽
話
な
ん
て
な
い
shi
a
幸
wa
se
da
There are no fairytales
ke
ka
shi
i
ta
a
wa
せ
se
だ
da
け
ke
描
ka
い
i
た
ta
o
to
お
gi
ba
na
That only have happiness
shi
na
o
伽
n
te
na
to
i
gi
話
ba
na
なん
shi
na
て
n
te
わ
か
っ
て
ない
る
わ
か
っ
て
る
na
i
wa
ka
t
te
わ
ru
I know that perfectly well
か
wa
ka
t
ka
っ
te
ru
so
re
t
de
mo
て
ne
te
る
ru
わ
か
wa
ka
っ
t
そ
れ
て
で
も
ね
te
る
ru
そ
so
れ
re
で
de
も
そ
mo
こ
へ
行
き
た
い
の
ね
ne
so
ko
he
i
そ
ki
Still, I want to get there
ta
i
so
no
こ
そ
ko
へ
こ
行
へ
he
き
行
i
ki
た
き
ta
い
た
の
い
i
no
の
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翻譯：隨便 翻譯校對：ZWX 日文校對：ZWX OP特效：Foyzi 時間軸：小小病 壓製：Coolkid
／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
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／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
Chiba Soubu Municipal High School
So...
えーと… ラブマリッジ千葉ウェディング？
Wedding Plan+ Chiba Edition
"Love & Marriage: Chiba Wedding"?
Wedding Plan+ Chiba Edition
Uh-huh.
Wedding Plan+ Chiba Edition
Chiba Sobu Municipal High School
Love & Marriage: Chiba Wedding Youth & Marriage Special Issue
Wedding Plan+ Chiba Edition
June 16, 2013 Love & Marriage Chiba Executive Committee
Wedding Plan+ Chiba Edition
A special issue on youth and marriage?
若者の結婚特集ね
Yeah.
ああ 千葉の地域活性化の一環で
They're starting a municipal magazine as part of the whole Chiba revitalization thing.
タウン誌を作るんだそうだ
The local government, bridal shops, and hotels with large reception halls are banding together
若い世代に 結婚の意義より深く知ってもらおうと
行政と付近のブライダル会社や
to make marriage more appealing to today's youth.
式場を持つホテルなんかが提携して作るらしい
So what on earth does this have to do with us?
それで なぜ私たちにこの話をしたのでしょうか
Oh, you see...
い いや その… だな
The higher ups wanted this school to help out in some way,
うちの学校も何らかの形で手伝うように上から言われて
and I wound up having to take lead...
私が担当することになったんだが…
Why our school?
なんでうちの学校が？
Or rather, why us?
っていうか なんで俺たちが？
You want a reason?
理由か そうだな…
Well...
When they tell you to jump, you ask, "How high?"
上からの命令に理由なんて求めてはいけない
That's the way of the working stiff.
それが働くということだ
I didn't need to hear that. That was the last thing I needed to hear!
聞きたくなかった
そんな話は聞きたくなかった
What I'm asking is why should we be the ones to do this?
問題は それをなぜ私たちがやるのかということです
Oh yeah.
そうだね
Wasn't this supposed to be your job in the first place?
これって平塚先生の仕事なんだし
I-I know!
だ…だって
But... I'm totally clueless when it comes to marriage!
結…結婚とかどうすればいいのか分からないし
I...
早く 早く誰かもらってあげて
Dear God, will somebody please take her?
All I wanted...
At this rate, that somebody will have to be me!
じゃないと もう俺がもらっちゃうよ
ゆきのん…
Yukinon...
We're no experts on the matter either, but we'll help you anyway.
私たちも別に詳しいわけではないですが お手伝いします
うん
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
Thanks.
ありがとう
Where do we even start?
でも 何したらいいんだろうねぇ
All we have to do is fill those pages with a bunch of stuff.
とりあえず なんか書いて埋めときゃいいんだろう
Ah, we can even sell the pages to vendors as ad space.
ああ そのページ丸ごと広告枠ってことでどっかに売っちまえよ
There's no work to do and we get paid. It's perfect.
仕事も消えて 金が入って ちょうどいいし
Hikigaya, we can't do that!
比企谷 それはだめだ
The deadline is the main concern. How much time do we have?
問題は納期よね どれくらいの余裕があるんでしょうか？
It goes to press next week.
入稿が来週 校了までに もう一週間というところだな
That means we have a week to submit a proofread copy.
That's hardly any time at all.
えらく急ですね
A lot of these projects are put off till the last minute.
仕事って つい手元で寝かしてしまうんだよな
Especially unwanted projects.
手が付けづらいものだと尚更
Ah, I sort of get that!
それちょっと分かります
How about just writing a bunch of fake articles?
適当に作文でっち上げて載せとくか？
Yes, but creating walls of text will still take too much time.
とは言え 文字だけのページというのも辛いでしょう？
デザインで誤魔化すとか？
So we fudge with huge graphic layouts?
時間に余裕があればそれでも行けるでしょうけど…
That would work if we had the time and the expertise.
難しそうね
Plus, do you think our amateurish graphics can carry these pages?
それに 素人なデザインで余白が持つと思う？
We can use past templates.
過去のテンプレがあんじゃねぇの？
Just toss a few of them in, then fill out the margins with text.
それでいくつか組み合わせてテキスト流し込めば？
Ms. Hiratsuka, they're starting to scare me.
先生 なんか二人が怖いです
When it comes to cutting corners, you're an idiot savant.
手抜きについてだけは偉く頭が回るよね
何とも頼り甲斐があるじゃないか
Which makes them all the more reliable.
You mean when it comes to being efficient?
俺は効率重視なんだよ
Not that anyone would guess that they were in high school.
とは言え あまり高校生らしくはないだな
You're still overruled.
いずれにしても 却下よ
オーダーは高校生らしい記事なんだから
They ordered articles written by high schoolers.
Then we've really got a problem, since neither of us thinks like a normal high school student.
じゃあ そもそもだめだ
俺も お前も あんま高校生らしくないしな
Indeed, we don't.
そうなのよね…
People usually begin by pitching ideas for articles!
普通は 何をやるかから決めるものだろうに
Who on earth would start off by arguing over how to fill space?
枠を埋めることを最初に考えるとは…
由比ヶ浜
Yuigahama.
You need to put that average brain of yours to work.
お前の普通さが生きる時が来たぞ
I don't like the way you said that!
なんか言い方がむかつく！
Yuigahama, will you help us?
由比ヶ浜さん 頼めるかしら？
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
I wish she'd pick a better time to ask a favor!
このタイミングでお願いされると 複雑
Maybe have people design wedding dresses!
ウェディングドレスのデザイン募集とか？
There aren't many people who can manage even a rough sketch.
デザインラフ描ける人間なんて そうそうおらんだろう？
えーと じゃあ ウェディングドレスコンテスト… みたいのは？
Okay, what about...
a wedding dress contest?!
Or something?
時間的にも 全校を対象にしての募集企画とか難しそうね
We don't have enough time to solicit contestants, much less plan the whole thing.
I don't get the whole marriage thing.
結婚… よく分かんないね
It's like it doesn't seem real to me.
そこまでリアルじゃないっていうか
まあ 俺らの年で意識することじゃないからな
Well, we're not supposed to be old enough to even think about it.
True...
そうだろうな…
I know I never thought about it when I was your age.
私も君たちくらいの時は全然意識してなかったな…
"Thought about it."
意識…
The fact that no one's thought about marriage may give us a valid research question.
逆に意識していないからこそ
意識調査すればネタにはなりそうね
You're right!
なるほど 皆にアンケートとかとると 結構楽しそうかも！
If we did a survey or something, that might be neat!
There's no time to do the whole school or even a single grade, so we might have to limit ourselves to one class.
全校や学年全体だと 手間が掛かるから
一クラスに絞ったほうがいいかしら？
That won't give us much of a sample size.
統計的な役には立たなそうだな
We have no choice on the matter.
この際 仕方がないわ
If we hammer out the pages around that topic and add columns and such, it'll give us a workable product.
それで ページを構成して
コラムか何かを付ければ それなりに様になるでしょう
Then all that's left is to think of the survey questions!
じゃあ 後はアンケート考えるだけだね
How about we fill out some here before asking other students?
では 皆に出す前に ちょっと試しにやってみるか
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
Okay, let's see what we got.
さて どんな感じかな？
Q: How much money should your spouse make?
問い 相手に求める年収は？
A: Ten million yen or more.
答え 一千万以上
ヒッキー…
Hikigaya-kun.
Hikki.
比企谷君…
Wait a minute! How do you know it was me?
ちょっと待て なんで俺って分かったんだよ？
We can tell from your handwriting!
字見れば一発だし
Does he really think he's worth that amount of money?
この男 自分にそれだけの価値があるとでも思っているのかしら？
He has no friends, he's turned bleakness into a science,
友人ゼロ 理系は絶望
and his employment and future prospects are shaky at best.
就職は危ぶまれ 将来性皆無
On top of that, he has the eyes of a dead fish.
おまけに 目が死んだ魚のよう
うるせー
Buzz off.
The world is crawling with idiots who would give pretty much the same answer.
世の中には俺と似たようなこと答えちゃうおばかさんがたくさんいるだろうが
Well, duh! It's better to aim high, I always say!
その… なんだ
目標は高いほうがいいな うん！
Mm-hmm!
Whoa, she's beyond hope.
この人だめだな
Anyway, we have our questions. Let's get our samples!
とにかく 問題も出来たし
サンプリングを始めよう！
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
Yeah!
I got people who were still at school to fill out some surveys!
まだ残ってる人たちいたから 書いてもらってきた
Thank you. I feel bad for having you do this for us.
ありがとう
悪いわね 由比ヶ浜さんに任せてしまって
No, it's totally fine.
ううん 全然いいよ
It looked like the only people still here are from our class.
うちのクラスしか 残ってなかったっぽいし
Plus people wouldn't cooperate if I were the one asking.
まあ 俺が聞いたところで 答えてもらえないしな
Yeah, I'd think you were some kind of cult leader or maybe a shady salesman at best.
そうね 比企谷君だと
宗教の勧誘か悪徳商法にしか見えないでしょうね
Got that right.
そうなんだよ 俺マジ反逆のカリスマすぎて やばい
I'm such a charismatic non-conformist it's scary.
It's scary because I can actually see you turning into a cult leader.
君の場合 本当に教祖になりそうで 怖いな
Anyway, why don't we take a look?
とりあえず 見てみようか？
Marriage survey
What should be your spouse's occupation?
I want to marry a seiyuu!
I want to marry a seiyuu.
What should be your spouse's occupation?
I want to marry a seiyuu!
声優さんと結婚したい
What should be your spouse's occupation?
I want to marry a seiyuu!
What should be your spouse's occupation?
I want to marry a seiyuu!
What should be your spouse's occupation?
I want to marry a seiyuu!
What should be your spouse's occupation?
I want to marry a seiyuu!
はいはい 次次
Okay...
Moving on.
Wait,
っていうか こいつうちのクラスじゃねぇだろう
he isn't even in our class!
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
料理とかマジ無理 あと掃除無理
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
Do you have any misgivings about marriage?
I'm seriously not cooking. And I'm not cleaning either.
What my mother-in-law will be like and whether I'll be moving in with her. Plus my inheritance. Since I have a lot of siblings.
What my mother-in-law will be like and whether I'll be moving in with her. Plus my inheritance.
嫁姑関係とか 同居別居とか 遺産相続とか
What my mother-in-law will be like and whether I'll be moving in with her. Plus my inheritance. Since I have a lot of siblings.
Since I have a lot of siblings.
兄弟多いから
I'm worried about Hayama and Hachiman's future...
I'm worried about the Haya x Hachi coupling!
ハヤ×ハチの行末とか 不安…
I'm worried about Hayama and Hachiman's future...
It's pretty easy to tell who wrote what.
誰が書いたか大体分かるな
Well, it is our class.
まあ… うちのクラスだし
Should we even publish these?
これを表に出すのはどうなのかしらね？
Still, it's not all that surprising since they don't know what married life is like.
でも 結婚生活の何がよくて 何が悪いかもよく分からないから
答えようがないよね
So unless they were actually married, they wouldn't have all the right answers.
やっぱり経験してる人じゃないと分かんないこと多いだろうし
If there were a teen who was going through a similar experience, she might have a better idea.
若い人で疑似体験をしている ということであれば
心当たりがなくもないけど
You think so?
本当に？
Of course.
ええ 身近にいる碌でなしの世話をしていて
And when it comes to performing the thankless job of taking care of useless deadweight,
苦労を知っているであろうという点においては
I would presume that she would be quite the expert.
彼女が一番理解があるのではないかしら
Huh? She knows someone like that?
そんな知り合いいんの？
Does she really?
マジかよ その人なら俺のこと養ってくれそうじゃん
She'd be the perfect person to support me!
She'd better hook me up with her.
早く紹介してくださいよ
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
It'll be like hitting the ultimate jackpot.
これで 俺の人生勝ったも同然
Or so I thought.
と思ったのだが…
So, why Komachi?
で なんで小町なんだ？
Didn't you hear me say "a girl who takes care of useless deadweight"?
言わなかったかしら 碌でなしの面倒を見ている苦労人だって
Yoo-hoollo!
ヤハロー～
Can I take a peek at the marriage surveys you got back?
じゃあ その意識調査とやらを見せてください
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
Okay, I'm getting a good picture of what people are most concerned about.
なーるほど 皆の関心事がなんなのかは傾向が分かった感じですね
But I'm not sure about how to proceed with that insight.
うん ただこっから先 どうしようかなって
Of course, we can't publish these as is.
これをそのまま出すわけにもいかなくて
If you have any other ideas, we wish to hear them.
何かアイディアがあれば 助かるのだけれど
Komachi Light Bulb!
小町 ひらめき！
とりあえず 皆さんは絶望的に嫁度が足りません
First off, everybody's wife points are too depressingly low!
Wife Points
まずは嫁度を上げていきましょう！
Wife Points
We need to raise your wife points!
Wife Points
What are "wife points"?
嫁度って何？
Don't sweat the small stuff.
Wife Points
細かいことは気にしない
We just need to refocus the whole project on what it takes to be a better wife!
つまり どうすれば嫁っぽくなっていくか
という方向に企画をシフトチェンジ！
Ah, so it's basically a bridal crash course.
花嫁修行特集みたいな感じか？
Ooh, awesome phrasing!
そのフレーズいいですね 小町いただき
Komachi likes!
Let's get on with the bridal crash course!
では 今から始める花嫁修行
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest!
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
ドキドキ嫁度対決！
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
The Thrilling Wife Points Contest
A
おお 楽しそう！
Seriously, what the heck are "wife points"?
だから 嫁度って何？
My Teenage RomCom Messed Up as
Is as
Expected.
Kitchen
First, we're going to have a cook-off!
Kitchen
最初の対決は料理です
Kitchen
Judges, are you ready?
審査員の皆さん よろしくお願いしまーす
I have no idea why I was called here, but good luck, everybody!
なんで呼ばれたか全然分かんないけど
皆頑張ってね
うむ 説明はしなければしないほど深いのが最近の設定
Hmm...
My current imaginary setting has a completely esoteric plot that only adds depth to it.
I approve!
よかろう この剣豪将軍甘んじて受け入れようではないか
This master swordsman-shogun will gladly take up this post!
Shouldn't Totsuka be over there? You know, with the other contestan—
戸塚ってこっちの席でいいの？ ねえ こっちの席…
お題は男子が求める御袋の味
The first challenge is recreating mom's home cooking for your man!
Hey!
First batter up is Yui!
トップバッターは 結衣さん
So what do we have here?
えーと メニューは…
Japanese hamburg steak!
和風ハンバーグ！
Japanese? In what way?
和風？どの辺が？
This looks more like a barren volcano than anything remotely Japanese.
むしろこの荒涼とした感じがボルケーノって見た目で
和風感ゼロなんだけど…
Gollum, Gollum! Who gives a happy Nanjorno?!
ゴラム ゴラム
なんのなんのナンジョルノー
昔から言うであろう 我を見た目で判断してはいけないと
Like I've always said, never judge a book by its cover!
Perhaps these victuals, too, contain a hidden brilliance.
おそらく この料理も その姿の奥に輝きを秘めて…
This is...
これは！
Death!
死す
Uh, since that eighth grader has passed out, next we have...
えーと 中二さんが倒れましたので 次は…
お兄ちゃん
my brother.
Hikki, you don't have to eat it.
ヒ…ヒッキー む…無理して食べなくても…
Hachiman, what's wrong?
八幡 どうしたの？
God, I don't want to lose that smile.
守りたい この笑顔
So I can't let Totsuka eat this thing!
戸塚にこれを食べさせるわけにはいかない
Hikki...
ヒッキー…
I guess...
まあ なんというか
it's somewhat edible once you've prepared for the worst.
覚悟して無理すれば
食べれなくない感じだな
Tell it to me straight!
コメントが微妙すぎる！
Next, we have Yukino!
では 続いて雪乃さんです
Tell us what you made!
メニューの発表をどうぞ
I made paella.
パエーリャを
Ooh, Italian food!
おお イタリア料理
Paella is Spanish cuisine.
パエーリャはスペイン料理よ
でもサイゼで…
But I had some at Saizeriya...
Yukinoshita, you're really good at cooking!
雪ノ下さん やっぱり料理上手だね
It's nothing special. It just takes practice.
大したことではないわ 慣れの問題よ
It's oddly good enough to put me at a loss for words.
普通にうまくて コメントに困る
では 次は小町です
Next up is me!
Here's your nikujaga!
はい 肉じゃが～
まあ あれだな いつものだな
Well, it's just the way you usually make it.
あと チョイスがあざとい
And you're pandering to my tastes.
The fact that we're related backfired.
距離の近さがあだに
I think it's very delicious!
でも すっごくおいしいよ
Totsuka, I like you!
戸塚さんいい人 嫁度が高い
Your wife points are through the roof!
I've always thought so myself.
俺もそうは思うんだけどな
Shoot, where was I?
いかん いかん
Last, but certainly not least, Ms. Hiratsuka!
それでは 真打ち登場 平塚先生でーす！
What food have you made for us?
先生はどんな料理を？
This!
これだ！
Th-That's stir-fried meat and bean sprouts covered in meat sauce?
こ…これは
肉と萌やしを炒めて 焼肉のたれをぶっ掛けただけ？
Is that something people cook?
それは料理なのでしょうか？
What do you think, Hikigaya?
どうだ 比企谷？
This is good...
うまい…
This is incredible!
超うまい
That meat sauce was awesome!
焼肉のたれすげえ
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
Praise my prowess!
私を褒めろ
Now, next up on our program, we have...
さあ 舞台を移しまして
続いては お嫁クイズ
Bridal Quiz? What would you do?
The Bridal Quiz! What would you do?
Bridal Quiz? What would you do?
「こんな時どうする」でーす！
Bridal Quiz? What would you do?
You all need to imagine yourselves as wives and answer these questions.
皆さんには嫁さんの立場に立って お答えを書いてもらいまーす
First question...
それでは 早速…
What are you doing there?
なんでお兄ちゃんがそこに？
I plan to be a stay-at-home husband.
俺も専業主夫を目指す身だからな
Hachiman, good luck!
八幡 頑張って
Gasp!
Whatever.
まあいいか じゃあ 行きましょう
Here we go! First question!
問題
What would you do if your mother-in-law criticizes your housekeeping?
お姑さんに掃除の仕方で文句を言われた こんな時どうする？
お答えをフリップにどうぞ！
Write your answers on your flip boards!
All right, time's up!
はい そこまで
Okay, all together now!
では 一斉に どん！
Apologize and do it over!
A
Apologize and do it over.
ごめんなさいして やり直す
Apologize and do it over!
A
Apologize and do it over!
A
Apologize and do it over!
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
A
Apologize and do it over!
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
A
Apologize and do it over!
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
自分の掃除の仕方の合理性を一から説明する
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
Let my fists do the talking.
A
拳で語る
A
Thoroughly explain how my housekeeping methods are perfectly reasonable.
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Add too much seasoning to the miso soup.
A
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Add too much seasoning to the miso soup.
A
Let my fists do the talking.
A
Add too much seasoning to the miso soup.
A
Add too much seasoning to the miso soup.
味噌汁の味付けを濃くする
A
Add too much seasoning to the miso soup.
Those are very distinctive responses.
個性的なお答えです
とりあえず 先生とお兄ちゃんはペケで
I'm afraid my brother and Ms. Hiratsuka are out.
Here's what a Komachi answer would be!
小町的模範解答はこちら
I'd complain to my own mother but try again tomorrow!
A
I'd complain to my own mother
but try again tomorrow
実母にぐちって また明日から頑張る！
That's actually... realistic.
妙にリアルな解答だ
Let's keep moving! Here's your next question!
はい ラウンド行きましょう
続いての問題はこちら
Tomorrow's Christmas!
明日はクリスマス
But your good-for-nothing husband didn't save up enough for this month.
でも 旦那が甲斐性無しの碌でなしのせいで 今月苦しいかも
Wow, sounds like someone I know.
あら まるで誰かさんみたいね
Me too.
本当だね
You'll find those men lurking everywhere.
まあ そういう男も世の中にはいるからな
Can you call the women who stand by those lowlifes good wives?
それを支えるのは良き妻という者だろう
I'm not finished!
まーだ問題の途中ですよ
Faced with that situation, what'll you do for your kids' presents?
そんな状況ですが 子どものプレゼントはどうする？
タイムアップ
Time's up!
Let's see those answers!
では 答えをどん！
Cheap toys!
安いおもちゃ
Cheap toys!
Books
Cheap toys!
A
Books
Cheap toys!
A
Books
A
Books
A
Books
Books.
本
A
Books
A
Books
A classic anime's Blu-ray box set
A
Books
A classic anime's Blu-ray box set
A classic anime's Blu-ray box set!
A classic anime's Blu-ray box set
名作アニメブルーレイボックス
A classic anime's Blu-ray box set
A
Tell them they were on Santa's naughty list.
A classic anime's Blu-ray box set
A
Tell them they were on Santa's naughty list.
Just tell them they were on Santa's naughty list.
A classic anime's Blu-ray box set
A
Tell them they were on Santa's naughty list.
A
Tell them they were on Santa's naughty list.
悪い子のところにはサンタが来ないと説明する
A
Tell them they were on Santa's naughty list.
Oh, guys! You didn't listen carefully!
皆さん あまり問題をちゃんと聞いていなかったようですね
The heart of the question is how you will resolve that situation.
この問題の肝はどう対処するかという点です
That means the right answer is...
というわけで 正解は…
This!
こちら
Let their grandparents take care of it
A
Let their grandparents take care of it
A
Let their grandparents take care of it
A
Let their grandparents take care of it
A
Let their grandparents take care of it
Let their grandparents take care of it!
祖父母に任せる
Is that a good idea?
それでいいのかしら？
Of course it is!
大丈夫です 爺婆は孫に激甘
Grandmas and grandpas live to spoil their grandkids rotten!
そう スイーツです
Take it from me!
ソースは小町
Can't argue with that.
まあ 確かに
Though they tend to spoil the younger sibling a lot more.
でも 下の子が出来ると そっちに甘くなるんだよな
It's tough being the oldest.
長男の憂鬱だな
Let's hear what our judge Totsuka thinks about the responses.
えーと ここまで見てきて
審査員の戸塚さん的にはどんな感じでしょうね？
I think receiving a book as a present is wonderful!
プレゼントで本をもらうって 何だか素敵な経験だよね
Thank you very much!
はーい ありがとうございます
Now here's your last question!
ではでは 最終問題ですよ
Your husband has been coming home later and later.
最近 主人の帰りが遅い もしや浮気？
What if he's cheating? What do you do?
こんな時どうする？
さあ お答えをフリップにどうぞ
Write your answers on your flip boards!
Pencils down!
そこまで
Now show me those answers!
では 答え一斉にどうぞ
I don't know
A
I don't know.
困る！
I don't know
A
I don't know
A
I don't know
A
Hunt him down.
I don't know
A
Hunt him down.
A
Hunt him down.
追い詰める
A
Hunt him down.
A
Hunt him down.
鉄拳制裁！
A
Hunt him down.
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
A
Hunt him down.
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
A
Hunt him down.
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
The Iron Fists of Justice!
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
慰謝料と養育費ふんだくって 離婚
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
A
Divorce him, take half of what he owns plus alimony.
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
A
Divorce him, take half of what he owns plus alimony.
A
The Iron Fists Of Justice
A
Divorce him, take half of what he owns plus alimony.
A
Divorce him, take half of what he owns plus alimony.
A
Divorce him, take half of what he owns plus alimony.
Oh, so I see.
ふむふむ なるほど
"Hunt him down"? Really?
A
Divorce him, take half of what he owns plus alimony.
追い詰めるってなんだよ
Now you're scaring me.
超怖ぇよ
Oh, I think I meant to add "for questioning."
あら 問い詰めるの間違いだったかしら？
But I believe it's the same difference.
けれど 似たようなものよね
I think everyone except my brother has the right idea.
お兄ちゃん以外はそれなりにいい線行ってますが
But the right Komachi answer is this!
小町的正解はこちら
A
Believe in him
Believe in him!
信じる
Believe in him
A
Believe in him
A
Believe in him
A
Believe in him
A
Believe in him
A
Believe in him
A
Believe in him
A
I think this scores high in my book!
これ 小町的にポイント高い
You sure about that?
それでいいのか？
My ideal man would be one who's not likely to stray,
小町が好きになる人はたぶん 浮気しそうにないというか
変に律儀で真面目だと思うし 捻デレさんだと思うから
someone serious and honest to a fault.
He'd also be a Mr. Crabby Shy Pants, so I wouldn't worry too much.
心配要らないと思うな
Does that guy even exist?
いるかよ そんな奴？
He's a lot more real than you think.
案外いるものですよ
さて いよいよ最後の勝負です
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
We've reached the final round!
Watching my brother made me grow.
The Happy Blushing Bride Runway Show!
嬉しい 恥ずかしい 花嫁ショー対決！
And your host, Komachi, is also dressed for the occasion!
というわけで 小町も御色直ししてきました
Big Bro! Lookatme! Lookatme!
お兄ちゃん ほらほら ほらほら
Yeah, yeah. You're the cutest thing ever.
はいはい 世界一可愛いよ
There's his patented handwave response.
出た 適当出た
Whatevs!
まあいいや それでは まず結衣さんから！
We'll start with Yui!
Um, Komachi, where did you get these?
えーと 小町ちゃん これどうしたの？
That's classified!
秘密です
Next, we have Yukino!
ではでは 続いて雪乃さん
なぜ私まで…
Why am I doing this?
Oof, she's angry.
怒っていらっしゃる
Even her veil can't conceal her true nature.
ベールでも隠しきれない本性が…
Care to repeat that?
何か？
では 大トリ 平塚先生
And last we have Ms. Hiratsuka!
Who's that?
誰？
平塚先生 きれい…
Wow, she's beautiful!
She should keep that look.
普段からそうしていればいいのに
What do you think, Hikigaya? Can I pull it off or what?
比企谷
どうだ 結構やるもんだろう
Oh, uh... yeah. You...
いや その… きれいですね
look beautiful.
You think so?
そ…そうか？
Th-Thanks.
あ…ありがとう
My Teenage RomCom Is as Messed Up as Expected.
The results are in!
結果発表
Yay.
Aww, every one of you failed miserably.
なんか皆さんだめだめでしたね
Which means the winner is Kom...
これはもう優勝は小…
The winner is...
優勝は…
The winner... is...
ゆう…しょう…は…
Th-The winner is...
ゆ…優勝は…
ひ…平塚先生で…
Ms. Hiratsuka!
Ah! Yes!
Oh Yes！
I can't believe I won!
まさか優勝とはな
I think I'm starting to hear real wedding bells!
これは結婚も近いかな な？
怖かった 怖かったよ
She was scary! Too scary!
There, there.
よちよち
Hey, why don't we all take a picture together!
せっかくだし 皆で写真撮ろうよ
Great idea!
いいですね
Come on, Hachiman!
ほら お兄ちゃん
Stop pushing!
押すな
私は遠慮しておくわ
I'll pass.
ほーら ゆきのんも
Come on, you too, Yukinon!
Give me some space!
く…くっつかないの
Hey, don't be shy!
ほーら いいから いいから
Hey, can you get your phone?!
お兄ちゃん 携帯
Right.
Hello?
もしもーし
Hikki, are you done?
ヒッキー 出来た？
Not with the workload I have.
そう簡単に出来るわけねえだろう
What, are you done?
そっちは終わったのかよ？
Yup, I drew the illustrations.
うん イラスト描いた
Yukinon is doing all the collating and junk.
まとめるのとかは ゆきのんがやってくれてる
All we need is your draft and we're set.
あとは ヒッキーの原稿があれば 終わりだよ
Is he done?
もう終わったの？
She wants to know if you're done.
もう終わったのかって
No I'm not.
まだだよ
He says he's not.
まだだって
Okay, I'll ask.
あ はい 聞くね
She wants to know when it'll be ready.
いつ終わるのかってさ
Don't know.
分からん っていうか その通訳面倒くせぇな
Wait, why do we need a middleman?
Marriage. The institution where one's existence goes to die. All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss. About how they love saying "I'm home!" to their spouses, or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow. But think about it. You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents. You can even buy some mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label. And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids, that just means they're working hellish overtime hours. How is that in any way blissful? They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own. Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp. New brides
Hello?
Marriage. The institution where one's existence goes to die. All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss. About how they love saying "I'm home!" to their spouses, or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow. But think about it. You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents. You can even buy some mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label. And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids, that just means they're working hellish overtime hours. How is that in any way blissful? They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own. Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp. New brides
もしもし
Marriage. The institution where one's existence goes to die. All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss. About how they love saying "I'm home!" to their spouses, or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow. But think about it. You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents. You can even buy some mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label. And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids, that just means they're working hellish overtime hours. How is that in any way blissful? They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own. Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp. New brides
Hey.
Marriage. The institution where one's existence goes to die. All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss. About how they love saying "I'm home!" to their spouses, or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow. But think about it. You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents. You can even buy some mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label. And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids, that just means they're working hellish overtime hours. How is that in any way blissful? They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own. Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp. New brides
When will you be done?
Marriage. The institution where one's existence goes to die. All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss. About how they love saying "I'm home!" to their spouses, or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow. But think about it. You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents. You can even buy some mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label. And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids, that just means they're working hellish overtime hours. How is that in any way blissful? They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own. Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp. New brides
いつ終わるの？
Marriage. The institution where one's existence goes to die. All married people prattle on about their so-called marital bliss. About how they love saying "I'm home!" to their spouses, or how seeing their sleeping kids motivates them for tomorrow. But think about it. You can say "I'm home!" if you live with your parents. You can even buy some mouthwash and say "I'm home!" to the hippos on the label. And if they're talking about seeing their sleeping kids, that just means they're working hellish overtime hours. How is that in any way blissful? They preach the joys of marriage, yet their eyes are as soulless as my own. Just like zombies who drag people into their swamp. New brides
S-Sometime this week.
今…今週中には…
Today is Friday, you know.
今日は金曜日なのだけれど
Based on your answer, one would assume you'd be done by now.
今週中というのは今日だと思っていいのかしら？
Do you know when the deadline is?
締め切りっていつか知ってる？
月…月曜朝には…
M-Monday morning.
That would be "next week" then.
それは来週というのよ
I'll continue on my end with your empty column space.
あなたのコラムだけ空けて進めておくから
Once you're done, send it to me.
終わったら 送っておいて
Yeah, uh...
それじゃあ
Bye.
How am I supposed to send—
送るのって…
I don't even know your damn e-mail address!
送ろうにもお前のアドレス知らねぇんだよ
Here.
ほい
You don't need to wait up.
別に待ってなくていいぞ
ううん 小町も読みたいから待ってる
I'm staying up because I want to read it.
お好きにどうぞ
It's your life.
結婚にしても 将来にしても
When it comes to marriages or the future, no one knows what's in store.
先のことは分からない
No amount of preparation can protect you from all the unforeseen grief.
備えあれば 新たな憂いが生まれるのが世の常だ
However, everyone has the right to wish for bliss.
だが 幸福を願う権利は誰しもが持っている
In order to prepare for what's coming, one must work for the best possible outcome.
来たるべき時のために 努力は怠ってはならない
In conclusion,
結論
In conclusion,
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
all you ladies out there must stake your claims
女性諸君は 今のうちに将来有望な
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
wives
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
wives
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
wives
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
wives
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
wives
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
on all the promising future house- husbands out there waiting for you.
専業主夫志望の男子を捕まえておくとよい
In conclusion, all you ladies must stake your claims on all the promising future househusbands out there waiting for you.
っと
We Must Wish Them The Very Best, For Our Sake As Well.
キラリ 青い空で光った
Airplane 彼方の空の彼方まで
胸に詰まった 何かが騒いだ
言いたい 気持ちは閉じ込め
言えない コトバに変換する
最後まで僕は 素直じゃなくて
繋がれてた糸をわざと
もつれさせて
切り離した
ヒコーキ雲がにじんで 消えてしまう前に
逢いたいと言えてたなら Wow
終わりのない切なさからも
抜け出せていたのかな
また君とふたりぼっち
Hello Hello, Alone