Animals naturally form packs.
（生徒達の笑い声）
Carnivores form social hierarchies within their packs.
＜（比企谷）肉食獣には ヒエラルキーがあり＞
Those that fail to become alphas harbor the burden of failure until they die.
＜ボスになれなければ 死ぬまでストレスを抱え続ける＞
Whoa!
Dude, what's that?!
（戸部）おお～ッ マジ これ何？ すげー かっけー
Dude, that's so cool!
I'm sure herbivores feel guilt as they sacrifice their comrades to evade their predators and live on.
＜草食動物も天敵の襲撃で 仲間を 犠牲にして生き続けることに＞
Dude, check it out!
＜ジレンマを感じているはずだ＞
What?
Dude, mind if I borrow this?
マジすげーって ちょっと借りていい？
Um... Okay...
≪（男子生徒）う うん…
In this world, forming packs yields no benefit for the individual.
＜このように 群れとは個にとって なんら益をもたらさないのだ＞
Thus, I choose the way of the solitary bear, which does not form packs.
＜ならば私は 決して 群れることのない熊の道を選ぶ＞
The bear finds no anxiety in living alone. He is proud. He is a lone wolf.
＜熊とは １頭で生きていくことに 何の不安も感じていない＞
Furthermore, they hibernate in the winter.
＜孤高の動物だ しかも冬眠ができる＞
How wonderful that must be.
＜何と素晴らしいことか＞
There is no doubt in my mind.
I want to be a bear.
In my next life,
＜次に生まれかわるなら私は絶対＞
I want to be a bear.
＜熊になりたい＞
I'm Sure Everyone Bears a Worry of Equal Weight
♪♪～
I want to be a bear.
（平塚）熊 絶賛だな
I want to be a bear.
You really love bears.
I want to be a bear.
先生って 現国の教師だったんじゃ…
I thought you were a modern literature teacher.
私は生活指導だ
I'm a guidance counselor too.
ゆえに 生物の先生に 丸投げされたんだ
That's why your biology teacher told me to deal with this.
で これのどこが 野生動物の生態だ？
What part of this is "How Animals Live in the Wild"?
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野生動物の群れ社会に対する 強烈なアンチテーゼです
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It's an antithesis against the social hierarchies of packs.
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へ理屈は やめろ
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Enough of your frivolous arguments.
まるで君は 群れることを 罪悪のように言うがな
It's like you're calling pack hunting a crime.
But you're hunting singly, or rather, you're still single—
先生だって 個体っていうか 独身で…
ときに この前の依頼者は うまくいったのか？
Oh, by the way,
how'd the request from the other day go?
Oh, well, the requester was okay with it.
ああ まあ 本人は 納得したみたいなんで
そういえば先生が言ってた 勝負って どうなってるんですか
That reminds me.
What's happening with that contest you were talking about?
ああ あれか
Oh, that?
Don't worry. I'll be making a decision based on all of my personal prejudices and issues.
勝敗の裁定は 私が 独断と偏見で下すから安心しろ
It's all right here.
ここんとこに しまってある はあ
I see...
ところで君から見て 雪ノ下雪乃は どう映る？
By the way, what do you think of Yukinoshita Yukino?
I hate her.
嫌なヤツ そうか
I see.
非常に優秀な生徒ではあるんだが
She's an unusually bright student,
まあ 持つものは持つもので それなりの苦悩があるのだよ
but the blessed have their own problems too.
本当は とても優しい子だ→
She's a really nice girl at heart.
優しくて 往々にして正しい→
Nice, and all too often right.
ただ 世の中が 優しくなくて正しくないからな→
But the world isn't exactly nice or right.
さぞ 生きづらかろう
I'm sure it's hard on her.
君達は ひねくれているから
You guys' personalities are pretty twisted.
うまく社会に適応できそうもない ところが心配だよ
I'm worried you might not be able to fit in with society.
だから １ヵ所に 集めておきたくなる
That's why I wanted to keep you two in one place.
So that place is a sanatorium?
あそこは サナトリウムかよ そうかもな
You could call it that!
けれど君達は 見ていて面白い→
Either way, it's fun watching you guys.
だから 手元に置いておきたいだけ なのかもしれんな
So maybe I just want to keep you where I can see you.
（雨が降りだす）
＜普段なら 孤独なランチにピッタリの ベストプレイスがあるのだが＞
There's a great spot for lonely lunching that I usually go to...
But on rainy days, I have nowhere to go.
＜こんな雨の日 俺には行く所がない＞
Come on, Hayato!
≪（優美子）ええ～ッ 隼人～
I can't do it today. I gotta go to club.
（葉山）今日は無理 部活あるし （優美子）１日ぐらい よくない？
Come on, it's just one day!
今日ね フォーティワンのアイス ダブルが安いんだよね
They've got a deal on double scoops at 41!
あーし チョコとショコラが食べたい
I want one with chocolate and chocolat!
どっちもチョコじゃん （大岡）ホントだ
That's like two scoops of chocolate!
Yeah!
≪（優美子）全然違うし ていうか 超おなかへったし
No way! They're, like, totally different!
And I'm, like, totally hungry!
Sorry, but not for me today.
悪いけど今日はパスな それに あんまり食い過ぎると後悔するぞ
And you might regret it if you eat too much, Yumiko.
あーし いくら食べても太んないし
I don't gain anything no matter how much I eat!
（結衣）ホント優美子 マジ 神スタイルだよね 脚とか超きれい
Yeah, totally, Yumiko! You're, like, totally beautiful!
And your legs are, like, so pretty!
で 私ちょっと… そうかな～
But anyway, I need to—
You think so?
でも 雪ノ下さんとかいう子の方が ヤバくない？
But don't you think that Yukinoshita or whatever's kinda pretty too?
ああ たしかに ゆきのんはヤバイ ゆきのん？
Well, yeah, I guess Yukinon's pretty—
"Yukinon"?
あッ でも 優美子の方が華やかというか
But you're, like, more totally gorgeous?
まッ いいんじゃない？ 部活の後でなら俺もつきあうよ
Well, guess it's fine.
I can go if it's after I'm done with club.
Okay, Hayato. Text me, 'kay?
ＯＫ隼人 じゃあメールして
Wow, now that just looks horrible.
＜おいおい すげえ大変そうじゃん 封建社会かよ＞
It's like some feudal society.
＜あんなふうに気を使わなきゃ リアル充実しないなら＞
If that's what it takes to make friends in this world,
forever alone's fine by me.
＜俺 ずっと ぼっちでいいよ＞
あの 私 お昼 ちょっと行くとこあるから
Um...
I need to go somewhere for lunch, so...
そうなん？ じゃあ あれ買ってきて レモンティー→
Oh, really?
Then could you get me a lemon tea?
あーし 今日 飲みもん持ってくるの忘れてさ
I forgot to bring a drink today.
Um... But it'll be fifth period when I get back, so...
けど 私 戻ってくるの ５限になるっていうか
お昼まるまる いないから ちょっとどうだろう みたいな
I'll be gone all lunch, so I don't really know if that'd work, or... you know?
Huh?
はッ？ 何それ
What?
結衣 最近ちょっと つきあい悪くない？
You've been, like, not hanging out with us lately.
ああ それは何というか
Well, you know, it's just something I have to do.
止むに止まれぬというか 私事で恐縮です というか
Like, sorry, but I just have to...
分かんないから ちゃんと言ってよ あーしら友達じゃん
I don't get it. Spit it out.
We're friends, right?
ごめん
Sorry.
I'm not asking for a "sorry."
だから「ごめん」じゃなくて 言いたいことあんでしょ？
You've got something to say, don't you?
＜アホくさ せいぜい身内で つぶし合え＞
Man, that's just stupid.
Coffee
Kill each other in your internal strife.
＜助けてやろうなんて気は これっぽっちもないが＞
There isn't a cell in my body that wants to save her.
＜知ってる女の子が 目の前で泣きそうになってると＞
But when you see a girl you know on the verge of tears,
your stomach squirms, and food just doesn't taste right.
＜胃がキュルキュルして飯が まずくなる＞
Coffee
Neapolitan AAAAAAAAASandwich
Fried Cod Roe
＜それに そうやって 攻撃されるポジションは俺のもので＞
Plus, getting beaten down by the pack is my thing.
＜他の誰かに やすやすと 譲ってやるわけにはいかない＞
I'm not going to sit back and let someone take it from me.
Hey, that's enough—
おい そのへんで…
うっさい！
Shut up!
そ そのへんで 飲み物でも買ってこようかな～
Th-That's enough lunch. Maybe I'll get a drink.
でも やめとこうかな…
Or maybe I won't.
あんさー 結衣のために言うけどさ
Look, I'm gonna say this for your sake, Yui,
そういう はっきりしない態度 結構イラっとくる
but people who can't say things straight totally piss me off!
Sorry.
ごめん またそれ？
More of that?
さっきから謝ってばっかだけど （雪乃）謝る相手が違うわよ
Is "sorry" the only thing you can say?
You're apologizing to the wrong person, Yuigahama-san.
由比ヶ浜さん
Yuigahama-san, you invited me but never came.
由比ヶ浜さん あなた
自分から誘っておきながら 来ないのは
人としてどうかと思うのだけれど
I find this somewhat objectionable.
I believe it's only polite to send word if you're going to be late.
遅れるのなら 連絡の一本くらい 入れるのが筋では？
S-Sorry, but I don't know your number, so...
ごめんね でも私 ゆきのんの携帯 知らないし
そう？ なら 一概に あなたが悪いとも言えないわね
Really?
Then I can't say it's your fault for not calling.
今回は不問にするわ
I'll make an exception this once.
ちょ ちょっと あーしら まだ話終わってないんだけど
H-Hey! We're still talking here!
話す？ あなた あれが会話のつもりだったの？
Talking?
Was that what you call a conversation?
一方的に意見を押し付けている ようにしか見えなかった
It looked more like you forcing your own opinions on someone else.
はッ？ 気付かなくて ごめんなさいね
Huh?!
I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner.
あなた達の生態系に 詳しくないものだから
I'm not familiar with how your kind behave in the wild.
つい 類人猿の威嚇だと 思ってしまったわ
I mistook you for a troglodyte making threats.
お山の大将気取りで 虚勢を張るのは結構だけれど
Playing king of the hill and feigning superiority is all well and good,
but please, try to keep it in your scent-marked territory.
自分の縄張りの中だけにしなさい
The act comes off just as easily as your makeup.
あなたのメイク同様 すぐに はがれるわよ
Huh?!
はッ 何言ってんの？ 意味分かんないし
What're you talking about?
That makes, like, zero sense.
まあまあまあ
Now, now.
Yukinoshita-san, I think that's enough.
雪ノ下さん それぐらいで
ふんッ
You too, Yumiko.
優美子もさ
ふんッ
先に行くわね
I'll be waiting for you.
私も すぐ行く
Oh, I'll...
Be there soon.
Man, I'm thirsty! I'm getting a soda!
喉かわいた ジュース買いに行こう 俺も
Yeah, me too!
I think I'll head to the bathroom.
お手洗い行こうかな 私 あれに行かなきゃ
Oh, I had to do that!
I need to get out too.
＜俺も乗るしかない このビッグウエーブに＞
Ride this big wave out.
＜というか これ以上深刻な空気に なったら呼吸できない 死ぬ＞
And seriously, if the air gets any thicker with seriousness, I'll suffocate.
And die!
ヒッキー ありがとう さっき立ち上がってくれて
Thanks, Hikky.
For trying to stand up for me.
（ため息）
Phew.
うんッ？
Huh?
ごめんね 私さ 人に合わせないと不安っていうか
Sorry.
I've got this thing where, like, I have to run with the pack.
つい空気読んじゃうっていうか
Like, doing what everyone wants me to?
いや もう 昔からそうなんだよね
Well, I've always been kinda like that.
おままごとで 本当はママ役やりたいけど
Whenever I played house, I always wanted to be the mom,
他にやりたい子がいるからって ポチ役やってたり
but the other girls would want to too, so I'd play the dog and stuff.
Maybe because I lived in an apartment?
団地育ちのせいかもだけど
何が言いたいのか 全然分かんないんだけど
Whatever you're trying to say, I don't get it.
I know, right? I don't really get what I'm trying to say either.
だよね 私もよく分かんないんだけどさ
でも ヒッキーとか ゆきのん見てて思ったんだ
But after meeting Hikky and Yukinon, I thought...
They say what they really mean.
本音言い合って お互い空気読んで
And they know what people want, but they don't force themselves to do it.
無理に合わせてないのに 楽しそうで 何か合ってて
It looked really fun.
It just kind of worked for me.
何か私 今まで必死になって 人に合わせてたの
It made me think, maybe forcing myself to do what people wanted me to was wrong.
間違ってるかな って
だって ヒッキーとか マジ ヒッキーじゃん
I mean, Hikky's, like, totally Hikky?
休み時間とか寝たふりしてたり 本読んで笑ってたり キモいし
Like, pretending to sleep at lunch and that totally gross laugh when he's reading?
あなたの変な笑い方
You laughed like that in your classroom too?
部室だけかと思ったら 教室でもなのね
I thought you'd keep it to the clubroom.
あれ 本当に気持ち悪いから やめた方がいいわよ
That laugh really is gross. It would be best if you stopped.
Couldn't you tell me if you thought that?
気づいてんなら その場で言えよ いやよ
No. I don't want to talk to you when you're gross.
気持ち悪いときに 話しかけたくないもの
あの そういうわけで
Um, that's how it is, so...
別に 優美子のことが 嫌だってわけじゃないから
It's not like I don't like you, Yumiko,
だから これからも 仲良くできるかな？
so I hope we can still be friends?
Oh, really?
ふ～ん そッ まあいいんじゃない？
Well, whatever.
ごめん ありがと
Sorry.
Thanks.
何だ ちゃんと言えるじゃない
See? You can say it straight.
えッ 何でヒッキーここにいんの？ 聞いてた？
What're you doing here, Hikky?!
Did you hear that?!
な 何を… 聞いてたんだ！ 盗み聞きだ
H-Hear what?
You did!
You spied on me!
キモイ ストーカー 変態 あと… キモイ！
Gross!
Stalker!
Pervert!
And, um...
Gross!
ホント マジ キモすぎだから
You're, like, way too gross.
少しは遠慮しろよ 今さら遠慮するわけないでしょ
Could you at least try being polite?
Huh?
Why would I ever be polite with you now?
誰のせいだと思ってんの バカ
And whose fault do you think that is, stupid?!
誰のせいって
Whose fault?
そりゃ 雪ノ下だよな
That'd be...
Yukinoshita's, right?
うんッ？
何してんの？
What're you up to?
Perhaps you could learn not to scare people?
いきなり声をかけないで 悪かったよ
Well, sorry.
で 何してんの？
So? What're you up to?
部室に不審人物がいるの はあッ？
There's a suspicious person in there.
Huh?
（ほら貝を吹く音）
（材木座）フッフッ ハッハッハ まさか こんな所で出会うとは
To think we should meet here!
I've been waiting for you, Hikigaya Hachiman!
待ちわびたぞ 比企谷八幡！
あなたの知り合いなの？ 知らない
An acquaintance of yours?
I don't know him.
こんなヤツは知ってても知らない
Even if I do, I don't.
Oh, so you'd forget the face of your comrade?
（材木座）まさか この相棒の顔を 忘れたとはな
You disappoint me, Hachiman!
見下げ果てたぞ 八幡
相棒って言ってるけど
He just called you his comrade.
Indeed, comrade!
そうだ相棒 貴様も覚えているだろう
Surely you remember those hellish days as we charged through the fields together!
あの地獄のような時間を 共に駆け抜けた日々を！
I may have been gym partners with him once.
体育でペア組まされたかもな
Ah, what a vile tradition!
ふんッ あのような悪しき風習 好きなヤツと組め だと？
To form pairs with whomever you like?
ハハハハ 我は いつ果つるとも分からぬ身
I know not when I should meet my end!
好ましく思う者など つくらぬ！
Never shall I look upon another with favor!
ふう 何の用だ？ 材木座
What do you want, Zaimokuza?
やっぱり ヒッキーの知り合い 誰？
So you do know him!
Who is he?
I am the Blademaster General,
我は 剣豪将軍
材木座義輝だ
Zaimokuza Yoshiteru!
そのお友達 あなたに用があるんじゃないの？
I think your friend wants something from you.
友達じゃねえっつの さよう 我に友などおらぬ
He's not my friend.
Indeed. I have no friends.
マジで 一人 フフフッ
Seriously. I'm a loner.
たあッ！ ときに八幡よ 奉仕部とは ここでいいのだな
A question, Hachiman.
This is the Service Club, is it not?
あッ？ ええ ここが奉仕部よ
Yes, this is the Service Club.
I thought so!
やはりそうか 平塚教諭に 助言いただいたとおりなら 八幡
If the words of Scholar Hiratsuka are to be trusted, Hachiman,
おぬしは 我の願いをかなえる 義務があるわけだな
you are obligated to fulfill my wish!
幾百の時を越えて なお 主従の関係にあるとは
That I should remain your master after these hundreds of years!
これも 八幡大菩薩の導きか
Perhaps the will of the Great Bodhisattva Hachiman is at work.
別に 奉仕部は あなたのお願いを かなえるわけではないの
The Service Club does not grant your wishes.
It only lends a helping hand.
ただ お手伝いをするだけよ
I see, Hachiman!
ふむ 八幡よ では我に手を貸せ
Assist me!
フッフッ 思えば 我と おぬしは対等な関係
Once, we were of equal footing!
かつてのように 天下を再び 握らんとしようではないか
Come! Let us once again strive to rule all Japan!
What happened to being my master?
主従の関係は どこに行った？ ゴラム ゴラム！
Ahem! Ahem!
我と おぬしの間で
Such matters are trivial between us! This once, I shall allow...
そのような さまつなことは どうでもよい 特別に許して…
何で こっち見んだっつーの
Why the hell are you looking at me?
Hikigaya-kun, one second.
比企谷君 ちょっと
何なの？ あの剣豪将軍って
So what is this "Blademaster General" thing?
あれは中二病だ ちゅーに病？
It's called "eighth-grade syndrome."
"Eighth-grade syndrome"?
中二病ってのはな
You see, eighth-grade syndrome is...
...so it's not a real disease.
というわけで 病気じゃない 意味分かんない
That made zero sense.
つまり 自分で作った設定に基づき お芝居をしているようなものね
So basically, he's acting out a character based on a fantasy in his mind?
だいたい合ってる で…
Basically, yeah.
Anyway, they just happened to have the same name,
あいつは たまたま名前が一緒ってだけで
室町幕府の１３代将軍 足利義輝を 下敷きに設定してるみたいだ
so his fantasy is based around the 13th shogun of the Muromachi Shogunate, Ashikaga Yoshiteru.
あなたを 仲間とみなしているのは なぜ？
Why does he think you're part of his fantasy?
My name. The Seiwa Genji line revered the Great Bodhisattva Hachiman as a god of war.
俺の名前から 清和源氏が 武神としてあつく信奉してた
八幡大菩薩を引っ張ってんだろ
I'm surprised. You know your history.
驚いた 詳しいのね まあな
You could say that.
まッ あいつの場合は過去の歴史を ベースにしている分 まだマシだ
Anyway, at least his fantasies are based on history. There's a lot worse out there.
あれより ひどいのがいるの？ いる
There's worse than that?
Yeah.
参考までに聞くけど どんなものなの？
Just for reference, like what?
ふんッ もともと この世界の７人の神
In the beginning, the world was ruled by seven gods.
創造神たる三柱の神 賢帝ガラン
First, the gods of creation, the three central deities:
the Sage Emperor, Garan;
戦女神メシカ 心守ハーティア そして…
the Goddess of War, Messica;
and the Defender of Hearts, Hearteia.
Next—
て お前 誘導尋問うめえな ホント ビビるわ
Damn, you're good at leading questions. You scare me.
うっかり つまびらかに しゃべるところだったわ
I nearly gave you the whole story in detail.
何一つ誘導してないのだけれど 気持ち悪い
I didn't lead you an inch.
Gross.
Well, anyway, maybe I had a case in the past,
まあ何だ… 昔はそうだったかもしれない
けど 今は違う
but I don't anymore.
I don't have ridiculous fantasies anymore.
＜俺はもう バカな妄想はしない＞
＜コスプレなんかも卒業した＞
I don't cosplay anymore either.
I don't keep spirit world diaries or government reports anymore.
Spirit World Diary
＜神界日記や 政府報告書も つづっていない＞
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
Government Report
Top Secret
People to Kill
Government Report
People to Kill
＜ただ「絶対に許さないリスト」 だけは いまだに書いている＞
Government Report
People to Kill
But I'm still keeping a list of people to kill.
People to Kill
April 2013 1. Yukinoshita Yukino Looked down on me from the moment I met her. Looked at me as though I were a bug. Way too self-conscious. She's the Ice Queen! Demon superwoman!! I'll kill her! 2. Namatame Masahiro Keeps trying to talk to me to make himself stand out. Did some band practice (?) in front of my lunch spot. Talks annoyingly loud with girls. Will kill. Will kill. 3. Itou Yori Didn't respond when I tried talking to him. Pretended not to hear even though he heard me. I will kill him!
May 2013 May 2013 1. Yukinoshita Yukino Says whatever she wants. Learn some consideration, bitch. Called me gross 15 times today. Treated me like some sex predator. Tried making a joke, but she ignored me. Freaking blizzard Ice Queen. I'm going to kill her! 2. Hosoki Toshiya Cut in front of me in line at the store. Couldn't buy fried noodle bread because of him. I'll kill him! 3. Nagahara Ryouichi Put trash into the basket on my bike. My bike isn't a trash can! I'll kill him!
People to Kill
Spirit World Diary
Yukinon, get away from him!
ゆきのん 逃げて～ だいたい分かったわ
I think I understand.
あなたの依頼は その心の病を治す ってことでいいのかしら？
Your request is to cure you of your mental illness.
我は なんじとの契約のもと 我の願いをかなえんがために
I have come here to invoke my contract with you! Grant me my wish!
この場に はせ参じた 話しているのは私なのだけど
This wish is truly noble—
I'm the one talking to you.
人が話しているときは その人の方を向きなさい
When someone is talking to you, you face them.
ハッハッハッハ
これはしたり そのしゃべり方も やめて
By the heavens—
And stop talking like that.
Wow, Yukinon.
すごい ゆきのん とにかく
You want us to cure your mental illness, correct?
その病気を治す ってことでいいのよね
Well, it's not really an illness...
別に 病気じゃないですけど
おい そのくらい… うんッ？ これって
Hey, that's enoug—
What's this?
小説の原稿か？ いかにも
A manuscript for a novel?
Indeed.
それはライトノベルの原稿だ
It's a manuscript for a light novel.
とある新人賞に 応募しようと思っているが
I'm thinking of entering a contest for new authors,
友達がいないので感想が聞けぬ 読んでくれ
but I have no friends, so I can't get opinions on my work.
Read it, please.
何か今 とても悲しいことを さらりと言われた気がするわ
I think you just said something very sad without any hesitation.
Holy Sword School Series
Nightmare Nightmare ~Black Chestnut~
There are sites where you can put these up.
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投稿サイトとかあるから そこにさらせばいいんじゃねえの
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Just ask for comments on one of them.
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それはムリだ あやつらは容赦がないからな
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I can't do that.
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They have no mercy.
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酷評されたら たぶん死ぬぞ 我
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If they condemn it, I may die.
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Damn, you're weak.
心弱え でもな うんッ？
But you know...
たぶん投稿サイトより 雪ノ下の方が容赦ないよ
I think Yukinoshita's more merciless than those sites.
This story revolves around a spatial rupture, known also as the "Dimension Driver"!
この物語の根幹である空間断裂
人呼んで ディメンションドライバー！
これが最後には 世界議会による…
Because of this event,
the World Parliament determines that they must access the akashic records to...
（クラクション）
（犬の鳴き声）
≪（材木座）八幡 八幡よ
Hachiman.
Hachiman!
Huh? Sounds boring.
ああ それ つまんねえ まあ待て 落ち着け 八幡
Now, don't be so rash, Hachiman.
さらに加えて ヒロインの持つ神代の鉄槌→
The main heroine is in possession of the maul of the gods,
グンニグルハンマー！
the Gungnir Hammer!
Morning, Hikky!
おはようヒッキー あれッ 元気なくない？ どうした？
Huh? You don't look so good. What's up?
Hey, come on now. You think anyone could read that...
いやいやいや あんなの読んだら そりゃ
つーか むしろ 何であれ読んで 元気なのか知りたいわ
Wait, how could you read that thing and not be half-dead?
えッ！？ だ だよねー 私もマジ眠いから
Yeah, totally!
I'm, like, totally sleepy!
お前 絶対読んでないだろう
You definitely didn't read it.
（扉が開く）
あッ
お疲れさん
Good work.
驚いた
Amazing.
あなたの顔を見ると 一発で眠気が飛ぶわね
After seeing your face, I don't feel sleepy in the least.
＜あやうく 見てくれにだまされて 血迷うところだった＞
I nearly got taken by her appearance and lost my self-control.
I want to put this bitch into an eternal slumber.
＜永眠させてやりたい この女＞
さて では感想を 聞かせてもらうとするか
Now then!
Shall we hear your opinions?
ごめんなさい こういうの よく分からないんだけれど
I'm sorry. I'm not exactly familiar with these kinds of things.
No matter! I wanted to hear the opinions of the common man as well.
かまわぬ 凡俗の意見も 聞きたいところだったのでな
Say all you will!
好きに言ってくれたまへ そう
Okay.
つまらなかった 読むのが苦痛ですらあったわ
It's trash.
In fact, it was painful to read.
想像を絶する つまらなさ げふうッ！
It was trashier than anything I've ever imagined.
さ 参考までに
F-For future reference, could you perhaps elaborate on what was so trashy?
どのへんがつまらなかったのか ご教示願えるかな？
まず 文法がメチャクチャね
First, you need to work on your grammar.
なぜ いつも倒置法なの？ 「てにをは」の使い方 知ってる？
Do you have to use hyperbaton in every sentence?
The subject comes first in a sentence.
小学校で習わなかった？
Didn't you learn that in elementary school?
ぬぐう それは平易な文体で より読者に親しみを…
It's to keep the writing simple and friendly to the reader—
それは 最低限まともな日本語が 書けるようになってからでは？
You can do that by learning how to write in proper Japanese.
Now, as for kanji readings,
それに ルビだけど 誤用が多すぎるわ
you're abusing them.
「能力」に「ちから」なんて読み方は ないのだけれど
The characters for "ability" can't be read as "power."
聞くけど このブラッディナイトメアスラッシャーのナイトメアは
And there is no kanji even related to "Nightmare" in the name "Bloody Nightmare Slasher."
どこから来たの？
違うのだ 最近のバトルでは ルビの振り方に特徴…
No, you see, different readings are a feature of modern battle—
ここでヒロインが服を脱いだのは なぜ？ 必要性が皆無 シラけるわ
And why does the heroine take off her clothes here?
There is absolutely no need for that.
It's sickening.
ひぎいッ そういう要素がないと…
But without service like that—
完結していない物語を 人に読ませないでくれるかしら？
And don't make people read a story you haven't finished writing.
文才の前に 常識を身につけた方がいいわね
Maybe you should work on your common sense before your writing skills.
ぴゃああ～ッ
そのへんで いいんじゃ？ いっぺんに言ってもアレだし
I think that's enough.
Laying everything down at once is kind of, you know...
まだ言い足りないけど まあいいわ
I still have quite a bit to say, but whatever.
じゃあ 次は由比ヶ浜さんかしら えッ ええ～っと
Yuigahama-san, perhaps you'd like to go next.
Um...
む 難しい漢字 たくさん知ってるね
You know a lot of difficult kanji.
じゃあ ヒッキーどうぞ
Next, Hikky, go ahead!
Hachiman...
八幡 お前なら理解できるよな
You can understand it, right?
で あれって何のパクリ？
So, what story are you copying?
You're merciless.
あなた 容赦ないわね
ちょっと
Hey...
まあ 大事なのはイラストだから 中身なんて あんまり気にすんな
Well, all that matters are the pictures anyway.
The content's not all that big a deal.
材木座～
Will you read my writing again?
また読んでくれるか？
ドＭなの？ あんだけ言われて まだやるのかよ
Are you a masochist?
You've still got the balls to try again?
むろんだ たしかに酷評はされた→
Of course!
It may be a fact that you condemned it,
だが それでも嬉しかったのだ
but I was still happy.
好きで書いたものを 誰かに読んでもらえて
Having someone to read something I enjoyed writing and hearing their opinions
感想を言ってもらえるというのは いいものだな
is a nice thing.
分かった また読むよ
Got it.
I'll read it.
Farewell!
さらばだ また新作が書けたら持ってくる
When I've got a new one, I'll bring it to you!
Yeah.
＜そうだな こいつは 中二病ってだけじゃない＞
This guy doesn't just have a case of eighth-grade syndrome.
＜もう立派な作家病に かかっているのだ＞
He's got a case of writer's syndrome too.
＜書きたいことがあるから 書きたい＞
He writes because he wants to write something.
＜それが誰かの心を動かせたなら なお嬉しい＞
And if it can move someone's heart,
it makes him even happier.
＜それこそが作家病＞
That's writer's syndrome.
＜材木座は これからも 変わらなくていいのだ＞
There's no need for Zaimokuza to change either.
ハッ トッ… そりゃッ
There!
結界！
Barrier!
Apart from how gross he is.
＜あの気持ち悪い部分を除けば な＞
いい仕事した～
I done good.
A few days later.
BBBBBBBBBBB
おッ 股関節 股関節…
My hips... M-M-My hips...
Hachiman, who's the best illustrator you can think of?
八幡よ 流行の神絵師は誰だろうな？
気が早えよ 賞をとってから考えろよ
Don't get ahead of yourself.
Think about that after you win the award.
売れたらアニメ化して 声優さんと結婚できるかなッ
If it sells, think they'll make an anime, and I can marry a voice actress?
いいから そういうのいいから まず原稿を書け なッ？
Shut up. It's not happening if you don't write the damn story.
（材木座）売れたら 夜な夜な 豪遊できるかな？
If it sells, think I can paint the town red every night?
Yeah, like you could ever paint anything!
豪遊なんて あるわけないだろッ 夢見すぎなんだよ
Keep dreaming!
If it's okay with you, Hikigaya-kun, could you join the Tennis Club?
♪♪～
could you join the Tennis Club?
≪比企谷君さえよければ テニス部に入ってくれない？
could you join the Tennis Club?
After forcing people to run until they die,
could you join the Tennis Club?
until they die
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they practice their swing until they die,
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全員死ぬまで走らせてから 死ぬまで素振り 死ぬまで練習
could you join the Tennis Club?
until they die
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maybe?
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Ah! Sai-chan, you okay?!
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かしら？ あッ さいちゃん大丈夫？
could you join the Tennis Club?
you okay?!
until they die
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Hey, Hayato, I kinda wanna play tennis.
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≪（優美子）ねえ 隼人 あーし テニスしたいんだけど
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until they die
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until they die
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until they die
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until they die
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until they die
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until they die
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until they die
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I kinda wanna play tennis.
until they die
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I kinda wanna play tennis.
until they die
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you okay?!
I kinda wanna play tennis.
until they die
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I kinda wanna play tennis.
until they die
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I kinda wanna play tennis.
until they die
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I kinda wanna play tennis.
until they die
Ha!
There!
Ha!
Overwhelming, is my army not?
Ha!
There!
Ha!
There!
Ha!
There!
Ha!
There!
Ha!
There!
Ha!
There!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
≪（材木座）ハッハッハッ 圧倒的じゃないか 我が軍は→
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You beat me.
なぎ払え！
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
≪やられた 本当に魔球だな
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Ha!
There!
overwhelming
Hmph!
Game!
Mow them all down!
You've got a real devilish swing.
Next time:
Sometimes the God of Romantic Comedies Smiles Upon You
Sometimes the God of Romantic Comedies Smiles Upon You.
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