OUTSKIRTS OF CHERNIHIV, NORTHERN UKRAINE, +1730 HOURS

You slouch along a path through the woods. It's not snowing, not even freezing, but it's too chilly to be out without a coat, even for your superior mammal thermoregulation system. For a reptile, it's killing weather. The sun's setting. You have to find her.

"Anna!" you call. "Where are you, Anna?"

Your viper step-sister has become important to you, over the last two years. More important than you might admit. Whether it's her sinuous curves, or biologically innaccurate D-cup "assets," or her frankly ridiculous sense of humor, or just because she's female and occasionally nice to you, you've been nursing a bit of a crush.

This is no time to be out here alone. You've both watched the news; you know what's happening on the border.

Down the path you wander, as you get close to an old shack, you hear a muffled crashing and banging, combined with a loud and angry hissing noise. You immediately run towards it. The noise is coming from a well in the back yard.

"Sssssssssstupid wassssssshing maccccchine," hisses your step-sister, from the bottom of the well. "Help me, ssssssstep-brottttthhhhher." She's stark naked, and has somehow contrived to get the entire washing machine barrel wrapped around her lithe, muscular serpent body. Her tail wriggles in frustration.

"Hang on, I'll be right back!" you say, as you rush off to investigate the shack.

It's a little two-room affair with an attached garage.  There's a thin layer of dust over everything, so clearly it's abandoned. In the kitchen, you find a stobe, wood, kindling, and matches. You also find a rope, but you know your step-sister's majestic viper body will be too heavy to lift. Likewise, the bedroom just has a bed, a side table, and a wardrobe full of blankets and clothing.

In the garage, however, you hit paydirt. There's a pristine forklift. As a trained and fully certified forklift operator, you identify it as a Cat Diesel DP100N1. It's fueled, maintained, starts when you turn the key, and even has chains and lifting slings. Perfect.

There's a loud noise somewhere, but you ignore it as you quickly drive the forklift over to the well. You pass the sling down to your step-sister, instructing her to secure the washing machine. In no time at all, you've lifted her out of the well. Her body dangles forlornly from the accursed eletrical appliance as you gently lower her to the ground. A few minutes of teamwork later, and she's free. The exertion makes her chest rise and fall in interesting ways, but you stop yourself from following that chain of thoughts too far. What kind of a stepbrother thinks about incest when his step-sister is trapped in a washing machine?

You look back to your step-sister. Anna has her hand behind the back of her head, biting her lip in a way you've never seen before. Is... is she blushing? You didn't know reptiles could even do that! Particularly naked reptiles standing outside in close to freezing weather.

"I never knew you were a fully ccccccccertified forklift operator," she mumbles, smiling shyly at you. You've never seen her be shy in your life. What is going on? "You're more qualified for a dynamic and excccccciting role in the modern ssssssupply chain than I ttttthhought."

There's another loud noise, closer, and you can feel it in your whole body this time. You both turn to face the source. In the twilight, you can see the flash of another explosion.

"Oh God, it'sssssssss begun," says your step-sister. "They're bombing Chernihiv. We can't go home now."

"We can stay here tonight, out of the way of the invasion," you reply. "There's a bed and a stove. We'll have to double up."

"Okay, ssssssssoundsssss good," she says, still with that smile.