welcome to Nintendo switch Mario Kart 8
because we are completely original but
hey it's awesome to me
yeah I'm gonna whip your butt I pretty
much am three hundred coins that's
enough to buy another switch game
alright okay yeah I'm in mmm choose your
God okay is it letting me all right yeah
new controller everyone so who do I want
to be Mouser be a good guy what if I was
like whatever I was Morton okay should I
be Mourning if you want then I can talk
like that okay
Martin's what and they go it's quiet
that's okay
what's a good vehicle and Mario Kart 8
that one looks sleek um sure
maybe a motorbike though probably what
is fast here
oh that looks what's the exclamation
point mean it means it's new its new
yeah well in that case let's go for that
ooh yeah that looks fast all right
definitely matches Morton style yes Oh
Morton you animal oh where to go there
you are okay
look at me I'm loving so Watson they go
just to just just for the sheer irony of
it 150cc are you nuts yeah all right
I'm player two am I gonna be on the
right side of the screen you're on the
left yeah
we're sitting in the wrong order as
we're recording this do we need to move
sure okay okay you move that way and if
you guys could see this you'd be like
whoa they're actually moving and that's
not very exciting all right here we go
could have planned that a little better
hey to be fair this is our first episode
it might keep stabbing me
this doesn't might keep stabbing it oh
sorry
I forgot that was this stabby Mike whoa
all right you ready for this yes all
right so what when I go on the right all
right are there any kind of buttons that
I need to know about here oh oh I hit
definitely not that one all right
Oh oops yeah okay
wait what have you done okay I was
seeing what my settings are oh you took
my thing all right what's the button to
fire
[Music]
while the rumblepack on this controller
is awesome I'm gonna put a link to this
controller in the bottom in the
description there Oh Thank You Daisy
yeah check out the description this is a
like a I went for a cheap controller and
the rumble pack is awesome
I'm bad at this
alright did I get anyone Oh lasers
okay I've got a ball of fire in my hand
nice he's got terrible aim this Morgan
that's you know that's totally Morgan
okay how come these guys keep passing me
I'm not fast like their cuz you're bad
yeah
well that was to look behind me okay X
button looks behind oh where am I
goodness me
that Daisy gets me every time look out
for the banana
oh-oh-oh I am a loser
you're not I'm in ninth place how many
places are there nine know there's
probably seven places and somehow I
landed in nine yeah ba ba
your sweat staring on no wait don't how
you do are you kidding me well that's
why I'm doing so poorly yeah how do I
turn off smart steering press left left
oh my goodness are you serious you're
gonna fall off the ground how would you
tell how would I have known that because
then 10 on the back the intent oh oh are
you kidding me the antenna on the back
of my wheels yeah okay now I know oh you
know what did I get ya look I'm in
second now that I turned off smart
steering came in first I came in second
so you were in last like the entire game
yeah and then I turned off smart
steering and became the boss so you
still beat me by like a nanosecond hmm
had I turned off smart steering yeah one
nanosecond earlier I would have whipped
you yeah you watch this is a figure
eight so this is gonna be nice and easy
nice and you this is just allegedly
stroll
oh there's cars there's vehicles give me
that oh and I missed it come on now get
out of the way every time that you hit a
car no it's the car hit me come on now
get it right back oh yeah here we go
car get me all you want Oh
how do I go faster like this is a slow
you get 150 C's you have to get better
power-ups okay well like that 100k or
the magic mushroom that helps drifting
makes you go faster oh but it also makes
you hit it also makes you hit stuff well
you have to not hit stuff that would
probably help in my goal not to hit
stuff what is the advice that I get from
her
don't hit stuff it's good at right I
wish all kinds of buttons who doesn't
seem to do much I can look behind me Hey
oh no come on
give me all those does it matter if I
get three question marks does that work
to my benefit I got three question marks
does that do anything for me you know
the the mystery blocks technical terms
all right this is the one I want
oh no what
just I was blind there for a moment
hey now
so this is miles above previous gens of
Mario Kart for sure hey Tara for the
record you're in fifth I'm in six sided
terrible air because I got hit brothers
say of course it is of course it isn't I
probably threw it no you did it I
probably did I serious I'm a
professional
so load time is really fast the mic
keeps going into my face does it is it
stabbing you I set it to stab mode okay
let's do this
you should probably turn on smart
steering do you think I should turn on
smart steering because if your says I'm
so smart okay that was fun
so I'm in fourth you're in second oh no
I just jumped into six is that about cuz
you're banned
no I'm awesome come on
whoa whoa come on yeah that's why you
need to have smarts too well how do you
how I guess I could have drifted a
little bit yeah I could have taken that
ramp oh come on
so for the record I hate this level
everyone hates Rainbow Road do they so
it's not just me so I'm like right in
tune with the gaming community yeah
excellent
oh no you're an 11 and there's probably
nine spaces probably oh come on he keeps
doing that jumping down in front of me
Oh get away banana oh I'm about to lap
you it's I thought I had enough speed to
take the jump you need a mushroom I had
a mushroom
I don't think oh I mean I think I had a
mushroom I mean this is my first time
really seriously my first time seriously
playing this game as you can tell I am
dead serious right now yep
oh yeah goodbye
ah I did so bad all right I got a star
which has got to be a good thing oh come
on now but I'm afraid to push it because
I know it's gonna make me fast
pull in the room well I did that was the
star not a mushroom maybe that's what I
did last time but you started
no no oh man you click so I came in I'm
so bad well in place you're so bad at
this game you came in third
yeah but I didn't well I was 9 behind
you yeah but and there was no one behind
me all right where are we you keep
skipping the the pre-roll here so I
don't even know where I am
now I'm lost it's all your fault it's
like a candy world gingerbread is my
tactic this is very Christmasy I mean
considering we're recording this just
after Christmas New Year's Eve it's not
that Christmasy
oh oh come on steer William are you put
on Smurfs yes it's like oh stop you
where am I actually going okay they're
cute
you can't see through the Daisy what the
the flower what morton's flower that
makes him fly you hit he has a daisy
it's really really lame are you sure
it's a daisy it looks like a Gerber
Daisy to me okay
I mean I am NOT a botanist but I'm also
not a professional Mario Kart gamer I'm
bad at this game
to be fair you've only had it for two
days so we'll give you that oh oh look
out for that turtle well I've played
this game before see there's a Gerber
Daisy
he doesn't steer very well like it
that's what
that's just cuz you're bad so you're
just like old you won't steal you get
the rumbles and joy Kahn's not really
you can really feel the rumbles in this
controller that I'm using yeah I'm quite
impressed with oh for sure
are we feeling the rumbles after you
yeah you feel the rumble
drifting with Martin is more like
sliding into the side of the track
that's just cause you don't okay what
the heck are with these ice cream cones
somebody's eating ice cream above us and
their super-sized
I like to play on the character like
just blame it on the character you suck
Martin wow you're gonna have a bunch of
angry fanboys I know right
sorry angry fanboys I am bah bah
nice 11th place see I'm really improving
my strategy yeah left ROI behind me the
microphone keeps going into my face this
is you are entertaining me yeah is that
better everybody to be like what's that
popping sound that constant rustling no
that's her face well this looks cool
face it looks like a water slide how
many races do we do 8 8 okay
f0 nice little but this is definitely
not the speeds of f0 come on oh maybe
there are some power-ups oh come on
really
what oh just people hatin okay alright
I'm gonna head over here cuz it looks
like a powerup like a speed boost here
we go here we go here we go no get over
there yeah that's like at the airport
you've got to get on the one that's
going the right way otherwise you're Wow
am I ever bad at that onwards this is
tough at least beat the ground moving
it's like holy cow know what I just fell
off the edge please think up my Gerber
Daisy don't not convinced that's it
Daisy what do you think it is comment
below let us know what kind of flower
you think that guides is making Morton
how can that be a black eyed season when
there's no black eye oh come on Morton
this is like I'm gonna call this
and this is definitely like waterslides
I don't know what I'm gonna call it what
am I going to call it oh okay there is a
bit of a black middle to the flower whoa
whoa whoa
he is not happy to steer for me I fell
off the edge again and I'm just like I'm
terrible I'm in 12th place hitting
everything all right
Thunderbolt after everyone else has
already passed the finish line no come
on
ellee's beat toad he's toad behind me no
way up there you can't even I can't even
go any faster than this this is like I'm
going like 2 kilometers an hour let's go
let's go he chose a bad cart I asked you
which was the best one I did beat toad
though so that's something right yeah
you're 1/8 so is the microphone stabbing
you in the face yes all right all right
this looks good this looks again try and
at least get a good position all right
so tell you what I'll do that except not
first cuz that's my position
oh you think so I don't think so Oh
what's my position fourth come on Martin
step on it no wow this rumblepack is
going crazy how did I get into nine that
was in fourth because how do you aim the
fireballs I wish they would just hit the
people
I need some kind of a speed-up or
something
oh come on no no and finally get a
speed-up and I'm in the water oh the
gout toad feet toes knows there's a
toadstool on the oh thank you
the Mario God's forgiving me above
decaf
what did I do what am i doing modulae
hey hey but how did I do that I was just
playing whose because I'm so awesome
maybe that must be it didn't know how to
handle my awesomeness oh man we're in
the middle of recording something yeah
we're recording something yeah come and
give me a hug
you have to hug me behind me because
otherwise you're gonna totally jinx me
ah thanks for the hug guys you didn't
jinx me I was already doing quite poorly
all right 11th place did I come in front
of toad yes toad is the work
so if toad ever beats me I am going to
be really sad no this is an additional
controller that is really rumbling in my
hands it's really cool yeah oh yeah feel
that yeah that Rumble is awesome hey you
recorded the rumble okay okay you hold
the controller while I'm steering feel
that what do you think feel the rumble
pack it's amazing pretty cool
no no get away from the edge hey this is
kind of neat ohoho says the
eight-year-old what do you say yeah okay
don't be so mean to me because to be
fair daddy is a noob oh really oh my
goodness all right guys
oh come on now alright guys better head
upstairs before I get in trouble
non-serious because mama all think that
I let you up come downstairs
no no no Oh what am I doing here
what did I do just now did I backpack
probably or is this a secret portal I
suck at this game what my boomerang go
you guys like my Gerber Daisy yeah I'm
not even in Daisy that's my guess yeah
you think is a sunflower we got we got a
black eye and we got and I thought it
Gerber Daisy but I think you're right it
might be a sunflower oh oh I forgot
sometimes oh okay
eighth place see I'm totally winning I'm
in last place
what am I in now I'm in seven Oh eleven
well that's what I keep getting and why
do I keep falling down here does it
matter
I guess it's kind of a it's a secret
shortcut
well it is my shortcut Noakes and I'll
just fall off the edge yeah I kind of
just smashing this stuff for my drift
oh my gosh I'm so bad at this yeah
Oh No all right guys y'all do y'all are
distracting me finished in 12th place oh
well thanks for coming down guys have a
great night
okay thanks for doing a cameo see ya
head on upstairs you know dear kay head
upstairs you're fine you're fine call
the cops
ya never know what'll happen alright
alright
okay get out of my way Thank You Morton
that's a bit of a jerk why do you keep
blaming Morton because I am because I'm
a really nice guy
hey see see how you
he just had road rage right there I
didn't make him mad somebody hit him
with something and he was like nah he's
just sad because you insulted him a
bunch and now he's taking out his anger
on other people hey come on now
I didn't insult Morton I just call it
like I see it
was that 8-bit audio all of a sudden I
just went super 8 that now why did I go
and waste that so early
oh come on drift man draft are you doing
bad you're in second I'm in eighth now
I'm in like a
eleventeen oh and I'm squished like what
kind of an effect is that the best
effect it looked like it was out of like
a cheesy 80s game oh
seriously the drifting is just sliding
into the wall in this game
oh my gosh I keep a new puppy here
all right I'm getting better I'm getting
better I mean I'm in ninth right now I'm
gonna do better I'm normally not this
bad at the game first you're normally
not that bad I keep bumping and I stop
yeah yeah yeah
oh come on now I just lost all my coins
and I'm in 12th place yeah do coins do
anything for me
well they do stuff for me because this
is my account oh I mean well played
all right 12th place what y'all saw that
I was in like fourth right that was
Justin look at him raging he has anger
issues let's play battle mode are we
done that's was I yeah let's play battle
mode okay how do we do that I'll show
you oh and the boys left the door open
all right what is the battle dude it's
just Baumer here choose your character
all right I wasn't too pleased with
Martin good dude link is pretty hip like
me but he's not even from Mario no is he
suppose they're supposed to be from
Mario to be good so be the Mario don't
be like racoon Mario what is it 10 you
keep beep is that his real name back in
Mario 2 we just call it wasn't Mario
Mario that's his power up we I just
called him racoon Mario I didn't know
any better wrap the leaf the new the
powerup is called tanuki be a pink gold
peach yeah so that the whole internet
can hate on me no link oh one be just
the blank or link I'm gonna definitely
be link from the olden days my childhood
[Laughter]
I think Giggy or Ludwig he's ugly I'll
be about judging that totally suits link
he's like I'm in my pimped out right
yeah you some use a good cart well what
is it what looks don't do it for looks
do it for it whichever one looks how you
know like how do you know what's fast
like well I don't know like this totally
well I don't want to get rammed from
behind Yoshi
hey that's pretty sleek that looks like
it might be fast but I don't know right
wheels gonna get on this thing I'm
guessing that the wheels you choose
affect your ride as well let's do that
and Link is hardcore so we're definitely
oh yeah so what is this round that we're
going to play what does battle mode do
for me excellent description ladies and
gentlemen prepare yourself for eight
rounds of battle Oh
it'll give you a brief description
problem all right are you gonna skip all
the description so are we gonna get to
read the descriptions oh I've been
calling Bullet Bill bobomb all this time
you could have corrected me I thought
you were just joking yeah yeah yeah this
one you have to at least I didn't call
link this one you have to kill everyone
and collects the most balloons if I
don't kill them oh you've got to be
kidding me I don't know how to do any of
this kind of stuff what is this you have
to what am I supposed to do
it's not a race you have to use items to
get people's balloons how do I do what
is tire they're bad
how good like this oh no this is crazy
talk all these what are these
our guru ah but I want I want to just
raise but I told you this battle battle
mode but this is crazy
so how do I know what what I'm to do oh
I just shoot people yeah okay so I just
got someone thought so I mean I shot
them with something all right I'm gonna
get that question mark block hey Doc
mystery box mystery blood mystery box
item boxes watch out for my mystery box
okay levels are cool I've got three
balloons you've got like a thousand okay
I got to learn and I also have to learn
the different weapons because well what
good does this give me you shoot it oh
yeah go link look at link man he's like
oh yeah I can drift oh yeah like my dog
now alright let's get them
I like that boomerang yeah
popping balloons with my boomerang
right did I lose my boomerang I liked
that thing oh come on now I'm the new
balloon laughs hey I was tied with her
in our moment there what
while that was lame link come on step it
up man oh my gosh go here oh I like link
on this bike like if I was racing right
now yeah like that's how close to draft
choice how do I have any points I've got
three it's not even possible for me to
have points
I don't like this one is you got to be
able to aim it at someone and well I'm
just spamming that was pretty close okay
okay well I didn't die that's good
I came in third place which is pretty
impressive look at me waving to you look
at me waving all right so we got seven
more rounds of this yes each one you
just drive around trying to pop no it's
on random so it'll be a different battle
this one you have to you have to catch
all the people that don't have the why
do I have is my hat on no because you
have to catch the renegades oh so I got
a because I'm a police oh you wanna look
out folks on the full row and I have to
come out here with the plant gonna come
and eat you with the plan do I just
touch them with it oh yeah Scott Yoshi
so I literally just touched funny yeah
and then I can open the song they get
released man if I didn't suck so bad at
steering please don't get me
oh we're against each other are we no
well that's convenient you're still not
gonna get me oh yeah what what okay Dan
who are you right now huh who are you
playing as Bowser jr. okay come on
no bad one lack of TUI and dry bones you
can do this almost took myself out that
would not manage all right let's get in
here I could have gotten you yes
hey Yoshi Oh someone else just took out
Yoshi
oh come on one of my own teammates just
took me down I am really bad at this
like as can be seen on your screen I'm
bad at this like I'm not doing well
right now at all
okay that was some pretty gnarly
drifting good this I think I pushed the
wrong I scream what are you oh your to
the drift Meister and I just hit a wall
we got who we got I'm only seeing people
on my team
[Applause]
gotcha who almost got another one I mean
I'm just driving around in circles
hoping someone's gonna go in front of me
so I can eat them I mean is that what
I'm supposed to do okay
how'd I do I lose come on now you got
that's some negative commentary there
Nintendo well I didn't lose I just
didn't win everyone's 1/8 I came in
behind villager villager it's from an
animal crossing come on they're six more
rounds of this folks this one you have
to kill people with with on bombs okay
this is actual bombs not even bullet
bill I can mix up my Nintendo characters
because I'm just a novice all right I
got a BA Bom
I'm gonna blow y'all up it's like a
context yeah it's Luigi's Mansion
Minnifield is so hard you just have an
unending supply of bombs very the limit
is 10 oh it takes too long to throw them
so it doesn't you just have to plan it
right I'm so bad at this I started too
get Oh wave your arms come on I got
three balloons left I'm going down
oh come on give me a break I was safe I
did it again
unpause there we go Wow I saw it when it
was kill oh sure I did
yes that was totally my fault ah yo she
got me now I'm just i've faded to black
oh they gave me three more balloons just
for good measure yeah but you lost three
of your points oh I lost all my points
all attributes
I must have must have had three points
oh I doubt it okay now I have none and
now I've got I'm so gonna get killed
thanks a lot toadette
let's at all
oh you
how can I possibly have missed you from
trash
look at her we read wave our arms around
boy all right I got three more balloons
here we go now I'm the boss of this I'm
doing terrible okay I'm Way up here
where nobody else is so I'm gonna last
forever here dry bones oh okay there are
other people up here nice you're so done
but I have no I have no bombs tent bag I
got something I'm just going full-on
kill everyone mode there we go
oh my gosh well now zero points
ice all right how'd I do this is so bad
eleventh place hey you did it what is
that no oh you got second place I know
that's the leaderboard how did we both
go two loving people how about 108 11 11
we both got one point so we're tied for
11th and there was nothing below us this
looks cool this one you have to collect
as many coins as you can I just race on
this track this looks amazing if you
want but no I want to win and I will win
this is my first place right here all
right so you said I'm looking for coins
right there's a coin here's another coin
up here oh and I missed that because I
was too focused on nailing him with that
there oh I don't I should have taken
that coin from you oh you didn't but why
didn't I that's the question is
hey I'm the king
this all there is to it is just getting
coins yeah in slow motion
feels like slow motion
oh come on how could I possibly have
missed that I know your point exactly
right yeah I got feather oh yeah good to
get to you okay
it was a feather dude ha I lost my
feather oh no I got it oh it makes me
spin it makes you go up in the air
wow that's an impressive yep
mr. got nine coins you've only got seven
which basically makes me the boss of you
not for a while
see you oh come on
do you guys see that you saw that that
was I didn't see that
I will win this game I got it ha ha 10
coins
who's the boss now now I have 10 coins
I have 11 not for a while yeah for long
Oh Mario oh come on how can I miss coins
fill your man yeah I know it's true
actually miserable at this I'll get on I
missed all of those I missed again
I really don't like the fireball it's so
boring
I mean if you could aim it than sure but
well you can aim it but really you need
talent
oh well talent I have on mass just not
capability oh my goodness and I gonna
sneeze boy oh boy how are they even good
you tubing right there oh I beat you I
got second place you've got third place
I'm insects which isn't so bad for a
noob ooh all right what do we got left
was that or we got five left or four
left it's sweet sweetness and it's like
capture the flag I'll capture the flag
how do you know so much about these
because I played
oh hey I got to do my job
exploded myself
so if this is capture-the-flag what am i
I don't know anything about captioning
what do you know about just you have to
collect the shine what this thing and
you can't let them keep it for the full
seconds Oh am I supposed to follow that
yeah that's why I has a point to go
where to go you have to okay I see that
little it looks like a Sun thing with a
crown and I'm following I'm like Mario
Sunshine no I just drifted around that
thing like a box for sure come on there
it is so what are you supposed to do
with it just ride around and not get hit
oh okay but you're not oh oh if you get
that thing no how do you get that thing
by collecting oh you're not being very
helpful here right over there
well what happens now Oh someone else
got it yeah oh come on Ling I'm doing it
around man I usually don't do this bad
so your lack of to eat no what what oh
oh give me the Sun thing this is dawn Oh
someone else grab it before I could okay
okay I think I'm getting the hang of
this all right so I'm gonna zip over
here and catch you on the flipside
I'm so bad I was so close I don't even
know what I'm doing anymore
have you ever I mean when you say you
don't know what you're doing anymore it
implies that at one point you knew what
you were doing
oh my gosh my coordination is not here
yep now give me the soul shiny thing
yeah the what is happening I can't even
hit it this is how it's done
you know what I'm saying oh my thing
Maura my invincible star me a donkey
our of invincibility wore out and I
instantly lost it instantly I didn't
even have a second to think tell you
what's happening I'm gonna clobber this
yes eat this you got it
no come on I've been splatted yeah I
kind of lost my view there
and we both know that's not at me
I was one second away oh really
but who teaches you these words there
see I did my spinny thing in it it led
to victory
not really I really don't know come on
fireballs you suck come on now 8th place
where are you second and you think
you're bad yeah I'm in 8th and I just
came like my entire life might show that
I'm like yeah I didn't come in 12th so
there's that another space one hey my
bike has morphed balloon battle they
really make these sound manly let's jump
into my balloon battle boom
oh there goes one of my balloons
that's my manhood right there I'm
definitely a man I can I can tell by
your voice all the viewers right now are
like yep she is definitely a man how am
I suppose I'm supposed to get that one
up in the air I don't know what you're
doing kiddo
Nana's are stupid
No bananas are potassium and I don't
need any potassium I need bombs they're
already eaten bananas oh I got the
boomerang again how did I get the
boomerang again this it's pretty cool
you get three shots of it oh that's it
is it'll is it a linked thing or is it a
everybody gets the boomerang everyone
gets it okay we really seemed like like
a link thing I'm pretty sure that you
only have one balloon I've got two and
I've got two points
oh that's lost when you die well now I
have two more believes in you yeah but
that's because you're on your second
life what life's don't really count it's
just that I lost my way all nine lives
do count you need to learn that I've hit
dry bones like ten for life account died
died died oh here oh you're getting
really mixed messages here folks what
life matters die die die what we're just
so in tune with one another yeah
better get first on suing Nintendo um I
don't think that works that way you
haven't studied law yet haven't I know
everything I need to know nothing oh
come on make me flail my arms like that
that's what you get
Rochdale hey at least I made it to be
happened what I did be nothing I can't I
tied kingboo come on I'm so mad I can
tell you're angry but we need to finish
this only two more games all right here
we go
oh I'm the bad guy now yeah dodge the
law put it what are they teaching our
children here Nintendo evade capture and
what am I supposed to do in this just
evade the law is that it - coins matter
I got my trusty boomerang and there's
the toadstool kids watching me from the
porch and they're waving like look at
that la la break music oh come on how
come the villager was so much faster
than me hey I'm in jail wha serious yep
come on now let me out let me out
I need my spin kick thing I'm gonna go
mint easy you just have to sit here and
wait until villager saves you well
doesn't save you no village in your
villagers right there I just saw them
yeah that was it for my round yeah that
sucks
I got zero your man uh and villager once
again beat me mm-hmm
last game this is the last game can you
make it come back oh yeah this is first
place for me all right yeah look at the
determination no I'm so bad at this
bring it on man it's my gym all right so
there's another balloon one obviously
obviously now I'm like yeah let's do
this
let's show them who's boss yet you don't
blow yourself up with that would be in
fourth oh well this home why is going on
like ten people wanted to count here you
popped one balloon but you have two
points I'm so bad at this motor well I'm
actually really good as you can tell but
yeah three balloons
just slam into the wall
I just kind of throw them in hopes that
maybe someone's gonna drive into one
already gave up on that hope long ago
yeah it didn't didn't work as a strategy
no cuz then everyone just avoids you oh
yeah what what stupid little we do
recovering let's go here Luigi see they
just throw them so slow it's like if
this was me I would be just totally
annihilating
I'll get you who was that I wish it
wasn't me
hello No
you can't really you know once the bomb
is in front of you you can't escape it
you're done you can use speed you know I
don't have speed oh I like bunch of like
oh yeah I know I'm drifting like a
madman but I am mad go here dry bones
like it's just so slow
well that's it I obviously and what is
view results let's see what we got all
right round it must be me
congratulations Houser jr. you came in
second place behind dry bones I came in
eighth a whopping 24 points thank you
for watching everybody don't forget to
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to do things that are more fun than this
but it's a good opportunity for you see
some of these games on the Nintendo
switch that was fun