This is a Dynamike Network podcast.
Welcome to the dynamic duel podcast a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate
the superiority between Marvel and DC By comparing their characters and stat-based battle simulations.
I'm marvelous Joe and I'm his twin brother Johnny DC and this is our 350th episode of this podcast
Jonathan did you ever think we'd make it this far if you told me when we first started this
podcast That we would have had like a hundred and seventy five matchups that we could come
up with and 175 media content that we could review. I would have said, there's no way you're
out of your mind. I would have told you to get the hell out of my house. Although you're not
counting the Brothers Awards episodes and like the San Diego Comic-Con episodes. True. But
yeah, we've been doing this for a long ass time, but the show is still a blast to do. And this
episode is going to be a blast. We're going to find out who'd win in a fight between the
teams of Doom Patrol and the Guardians of the Galaxy. They're the misfit teams, as it were.
We're gonna put the misfits against each other. Things are probably gonna get weird because
things do get pretty weird with these teams and we'll see which one comes out on top. This
will be the ninth team duel that we've done so far on this show and in fact the fifth that
Marvel will have won. Oh, you seem really confident there. Yeah man, it's the Guardians. Not only
are they gonna kick ass, they're gonna do it with attitude. It's gonna be awesome. Before
that, we're going to break down the comic book movie news that came out this past week, of
which we finally, finally got the first trailer for Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. We also got
a trailer for Kite Man, Hell Yeah, which will be an animated series appearing on Max. It's
a spinoff of the Harley Quinn animated series. Right, as always, we list our segment times
in our episode description, so feel free to check out the show notes if you want to skip
ahead to a particular topic. As our listeners may know, our dual simulator is so advanced
that it's gained sentience and has named itself the Artificial Lifeform for running extensive
duels, just a rather very intelligent simulator 9000, or Alfred Jarvis 9000. He has a quick
message for our listeners, so listen up! Why hello there. Do you love listening and chatting
about Marvel and DC? Then become a part of the dynamic dual community on Patreon where you
can choose from three tiers. The dynamic 2-0 tier lets you listen to this podcast without
ads and gives you access to its Discord chat group where you can chat with Johnny DC and
Marvelous Joe. The fantastic 4 tier gives you that and more with two bonus episodes each
month including bloopers and top 10 shows where Johnny and Joe count down your favourite Marvel
and DC subjects. The X-Force tier makes you an executive producer of Dynamic Duel, where
every month you help the hosts choose what to review and who to fight against each other.
And finally, the Dynamike Podcast Network tier allows aspiring podcasters to create their
own battle-focused show using this Monte Carlo simulator. Johnny and Joe will help you develop
your show, provide graphic support and consultation, and get you simulation results to announce
on your show. Pitch the twins your show via email at dynamicduelpodcast.gmail.com or by
reaching out to them on social media. Check it out at patreon.com slash dynamicduel. Pip
pip cheerio. Thanks AJ9K and thanks to everyone who supports the podcast. Be sure to tune in
to the Max Destruction Podcast which is a part of the Dynamike Network this Wednesday where
Ken and Dustin will be reviewing the very first Rambo film, First Blood. It's an 80's classic.
Yeah, also tune in to Senjoworld, our anime action podcast this Thursday to find out who
would win between... Oh god, Zach, how do you pronounce this? Ryu no Suke? Aku Tagawa? from
Bungo Stray Dogs and Gaara from Naruto. Please, nobody message us about how I'm pronouncing
these because I don't know what I'm saying. But they're cool anime characters from Stray
Dogs and Naruto. Visit dynamicpodcasts.com or click on the link in our show notes to listen
to all the shows in the Dynamike Podcast Network. But with that out of the way, quick to the
no prize. A no prize is an award Marvel used to give out to fans. Our version, the Dynamic
Dual Note Prize, is a digital award that we post on Instagram and in our email newsletter
for the person that we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week. Last week's question
was, what is your favorite non-video game from Marvel or DC and why? We were looking for your
top table top games. And we got a hell of a lot of answers for this one. A lot of great
answers. It's pretty much impossible to pick honorable mentions and winners for this. If
you're a patron of the show, be sure to hop on Discord where we'll be posting all of the
audio for these answers onto our Discord server. But the first honorable mention goes to Lizzie
Dyer Arnie, who said, Hey, it's Lizzie. My favorite analog DC game is the DC deck building game.
So this game, you get to choose your favorite character. There's a million expansion packs,
so you can pretty much be anyone you want. You keep buying more cards, building your deck
to defeat the villains. Some of the cards have different powers. This is a really fun game
to play and I highly recommend it. Yeah, I own this game. It's a really fun game and there
are a ton of expansions based on like different teams and storylines from the DC Comics universe.
It's really fun to play. I love deck building games. As you guys already know, Joseph and
I created our own deck building game using Marvel and DC characters, but we're also selling a
robots version of that. Add aside. The DC deck building game is a whole lot of fun. I love
the DC deck building game. I remember you introduced that to me like a little over a decade ago
and I immediately had to go on the internet to see if there was a Marvel version of that
game. And sure enough, right around that time Marvel Legendary was introduced, which is the
Marvel deck building game that has a few more components to it. It comes with a board and
different scenarios and everything. Both games are a lot of fun though, for sure. Yeah, I
highly recommend them. Next honorable mention goes to Adam Spears, who said, Hey guys, it's
Adam Spears. And I want to say that the best card game out there is Munchkin. It's absolutely
fantastic for Marvel or DC fans. There is a Batman expansion pack, but what I have played
with my brother on is we've merged the Marvel X-Men and Deadpool packs all together and we
have a fantastic time with it. Munchkin is just a funny, competitive and combative game. And
I guarantee you, you're going to have a good time with it. Oh, and check out the blast from
our past podcast. Yeah, definitely check out the Spears brothers blast from our past podcast.
It's good times. A lot of fun, a lot of nostalgia. Yeah, they put out a top 10. I think it was
either board games in general or card games episode. But they mentioned Munchkin on that
episode and they both ranked it fairly high on their lists, which is all the recommendation
I need. Munchkin is a dungeon crawler style board game. And in the Marvel version. You
roleplay as a shield agent and you have your level and you add your bonuses to it in order
to fight the villains and gain their bonuses if you manage to defeat them. Sounds like a
lot of fun. I haven't played it myself, but with such high recommendations, I know that
I need to do that. And I didn't realize that you could merge different expansions into one
game set. That's really cool. That is really cool. Our final honorable mention goes to Unworthy
Collector, who said Hey guys, it's Unworthy Collector. My favorite game that is not a video
game from DC or Marvel would have to be from the best Batman movie ever, Batman Forever.
And the game was called Battle at the Big Top and was a 3D board game. You really ought to
look it up. You had to roll the dice and flip over the audience and shoot balls through hoops.
It was a great game. Yeah guys, check out Unworthy Collector on Instagram and YouTube. And I really
appreciate this answer because it was a pretty good deep dive. Oh yeah, I didn't even know
it existed. But just looking at photos of it online, it almost looks like Mouse Trap, but
with a Batman Forever theme. That's really cool. I loved Mouse Trap as a kid, but this game
sounds even zanier, like shooting balls through hoops and stuff. I like board games that don't
necessarily feel like your standard board game. And this one sounds almost like a miniature
carnival game or something like that. Yeah, thanks for your answer, unworthy collector.
And also thanks to John Storosky, Christopher Manotti, Peter Troll, and Louis DiArco for
their answers. They had some great ones. I'll just run them down. They mentioned Cards Against
Marvel, the Batman the Animated Series board game, Marvel Champions the card game, and Five
Minute Marvel, which I've seen that at Target. I've been wanting to check that one out specifically.
But the winner of this week's No Prize is Colby Hentges, who said, Hey boys, Colby Hentges.
The best tabletop comic game is Hero Click. They have Marvel hero clicks, they have DC
hero clicks, they had Indie hero clicks, they had Horror hero clicks, you could have Aliens
and Predator, Invincible, Hellboy, Iron Man, Batman, they had everybody. And they played
really well together. They could all be on the same team fighting Galactus, or they could
all be on separate teams fighting each other. It was a great game, a little pricey for the
quality of minis you got, but I liked it. Yeah, Colby Hentges gets the win this week because
Jonathan and I place a lot of nostalgic value on Hero Clicks. We played the heck out of that
game back when it came out in the early 2000s, and you could buy both Marvel and DC figurines.
And that's what Jonathan and I did, and we would have our own Marvel versus DC battles using
those miniatures. Yeah, Hero Clicks was absolutely the easiest way to get into miniature gaming
because of the dial, the ingenious dial it had on the stand that held the figurine. that you
would rotate and click the dial, depending on how your health was affected, either by healing
or taking damage. And it changed your stats. So you could see how it definitely inspired
even this podcast. Oh yeah, Jonathan and I, we kind of homebrewed our version of Hero Clicks
to give our characters powers that we thought they should have, that they didn't necessarily
have. It was a lot of fun going through the maps, fighting against each other, working
with the stats. Just a great time overall. And the figurines, you're right, they were not
great quality for the price, but we got a lot of use out of them. We even made our own chess
sets with our figurines. And I loved how, like when people were watching us play chess, they
would be like, Oh, well, how do you know which piece is which? And it's like, obviously Superman's
the king. Obviously Batman's a knight. Obviously Aquaman's a bishop. Come on. But congrats again
to Colby Hentges for winning this week's No Prize. If you, the listener, won a shot at
winning your own No Prize. Stay tuned to later on this episode when we'll be asking another
question of the week. And now that that's done, on to the news!
Okay, so Aquaman is scheduled to be released December 20th. So we've been waiting for a
trailer for this for a while now, for a few months, because usually they'll at least release
a trailer maybe six months up to a year before the movie's actual release date. But nothing
until last week, which actually sets a record in the amount of time between DC releasing
a trailer for a DCEU film and the actual release date. But I gotta say, this was worth the wait.
Like this trailer, James Wan's cinematography, it looks so breathtaking. Like I was ready
to write this film off because I'm still kind of disheartened by them releasing these movies
that really aren't leading anywhere. You know, it's like a dead end since James Gunn is rebooting
the universe soon. I was kind of just hoping that they would release this film on Max, but
I got to say this definitely looks like I want to see it in theaters on the biggest screen
possible. I agree, actually I liked the first Aquaman movie, if you guys remember from our
review of it, and like you I think I was ready to kind of write this film off because there
are lots of reports of test screenings that didn't go too well from the film, but from
what I could tell here, judging by this trailer, this movie looks like a fucking great time.
I don't know what those test screening people saw, it could be that this is just the best
trailer for the worst movie, but it really impressed me. So I do have a theory regarding that. Early
in the trailer, we get shots of Aquaman and his baby that he and Mera had, Arthur Curry
Jr., I'm supposing. The baby is super cute. But if you read the comics, you know that Arthur
Curry Jr. suffers the tragic fate of dying at the hands of Black Manta. I'm guessing this
film received poor test screenings because they were probably true to the comics and the baby
died and people just kind of hated that. That's my theory. I don't actually know if they're
going to do that for the movie or if they changed it or what's going to happen. But I do have
to say I would be really sad to see that baby die because that's a cute baby is a cute baby
for sure. Don't kill Aqua baby Warner Brothers. Come on. I'm torn. I'm like, do you stay true
to the comics or do you like keep a fun movie fun? Because it looks like it's going to be
super fun and even borderline comedic, which I guess is in the same tone. as the first movie.
That also looks like it's going to be just as visually breathtaking as the first movie as
well. That was one of the major takeaways from our review for that first film was just how
good it looked. The cinematography, as I mentioned, is breathtaking. I mean, there's a lot of,
you know, obvious visual effects going on, but the world building and just like the vibrancy
of the special effects really do a great job of capturing the eye. Oh, yeah, the world building
with like the jellyfish lanterns. going across the city and even the train that Aquaman has
to stop early in the trailer. That's a very Superman-esque moment. It's kind of cool to
see him in that role. He's like the underwater Superman, which I think is a perfect description
of the character and a great way to portray him. We see that there's a threat that's about
to befall the planet and it looks like Aquaman is going to need the help of his brother, who
was the villain in the first movie, Ocean Master or Oram. It looks like they're going to team
up in this movie to take on Black Manta, who is wielding the Black Trident, which looks
super cool, like the green flames and everything. Oh man. Like just when you thought that Black
Manta cannot look any cooler, they found a way. For sure. Yeah. Black Manta looks badass in
this film. How do you feel about the premise of Aquaman and Ocean Master teaming up for
a fight? Is there precedence for that in the comics? Yeah, actually in the new 52, Orm was
not depicted as villainous as he had been prior to the New 52. Like he was very much willing
to abdicate the throne to his brother once he found out that he was alive and that he existed.
So I think it's kind of in keeping with the more recent comics that Ocean Master really
does have Atlantis' best intentions at heart, most of the time. And it definitely looks like
Black Manta is going to pose enough of a threat to warrant the two brothers teaming up. Because
it almost looks like the Black Trident gave some access to this undead underwater zombie
army, which is like right in keeping with James Wan's horror background. Yeah, it seems very
Game of Thrones in that regard, but you know, much more fantastical and colorful. There's
a little bit of Lord of the Rings elements there too, when you see the original Atlantean King
going up against that Sauron looking guy with the Black Trident in that flashback battle.
A lot of great stuff here. Oh yeah, and I described the first movie as the closest thing that a
superhero film has come. to Lord of the Rings, but of course this was before Endgame and that
big final end battle. One thing that James Wan has been saying about this film in regards
to the two brothers teaming up is that from the very beginning when he started working
on the first Aquaman movie, he pitched the sequel as a bromance of sorts. Like the first movie
revolved around Aquaman and Mera, but the second film I guess was always intended, according
to James Wan, to revolve around Arthur and Orm. So I'm excited to see how all of this leads
up to a battle between Black Manta and his undead army. It looks like it's gonna be really good
times, and I honestly can't wait for Christmas, because this movie looks like it's gonna be
incredible. I agree. I'm looking forward to it. I hope it is the proper sendoff that the
DCEU deserves, and it ends with a bang, not a whimper. For sure. I hope there's no cameos.
Like, just let this thing stand on its own. Just let the DCEU die. try not to lead into
anything else. That's my hope. But I guess we'll find out this December. But this brings us
to our question of the week.
Do you plan on seeing Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom in theaters and why? I'm really curious to
see where people stand now that the trailer has been released and they've had a chance
to see it. Record your answer at dynamicduel.com by clicking on the red microphone button in
the bottom right hand corner of the screen, which will prompt you to leave us a voicemail.
Your message could be up to 30 seconds long, and don't forget to leave your name in case
we include you on the podcast. We'll pick our favorite answer and award that person a Dynamic
Duel No Prize. that we'll post to Instagram and our email newsletter. Be sure to answer
before September 23rd. Now on the television side of things, Max released its first teaser
trailer for the animated series, Kite Man Hell Yeah. It's of course a spin-off of the Harley
Quinn animated series, which featured Kite Man as a character for the past three seasons.
Kite Man was definitely a standout character on that show. So when I first heard that he
was getting his own spin-off series, I was pretty excited. I mean, yeah, Kite Man was hilarious.
In the episodes that he was in, he played a kind of love interest for Poison Ivy for a
while. But the fact that he's getting his own show is still kind of mind blowing. You know,
this is Kite Man we're talking about. And I feel really torn because on one hand, I do
think that the show is gonna be funny. The jokes on Harley Quinn are always pretty solid and
this seems to be continuing with that trend. But on the other hand, it's fucking... Kite
Man with his own show and I'm sure we're gonna laugh but I'm wondering if we're gonna care
Yeah I mean I think the only people who are going to tune into this are people who loved
the character from Harley Quinn Because Kite Man isn't the biggest name brand I gotta say
I know this was just a teaser that was released but it didn't do the best job of Teasing the
humor in my opinion like there was one joke at the beginning About Kite Man letting his
mom know when he was going to be masturbating when he was a boy which I guess was kind of
funny, but the rest of the teaser was really more action shots than anything else between
Golden Glider and some other characters I'm not too familiar with. You know, we'll see
how the whole thing plays out once it's released. I'm still not quite sure if we need a second
Harley Quinn type series, so who knows, maybe this one will be more action packed. I can't
imagine that... This show will be worth the investment that Max put into it. It just seems
very self-indulgent on behalf of the Harley Quinn creators to even put this show out there,
because it would have to be really, really good in order to get people to tune in. Yeah, yeah,
I agree. Hopefully Word of Mouth is strong for this one. Hopefully it's good enough to even
generate Word of Mouth. Right, yeah, absolutely. I'm not quite sold on the show yet, at least
not as much as I thought I would be by the time we got this first teaser. And I guess I'm reserving
judgment until we get a full on trailer and where we get to see more of what the show will
be like. This was only a 45 second teaser and I can't wait for something more substantial.
No word on a release date, although it does say that it's coming too soon. That is funny.
That does it for all the news for this episode. So let's go ahead and move into the main event
where we find out who'd win in a team duel between Doom Patrol and the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Alright, Duel Patrol versus Guardians of the Galaxy. This is our ninth team duel that we've
done. I'll go ahead and just run down all the other team duels that we've done. We found
out who would win between Justice League and the Avengers. Titans and the X-Men. Justice
Society versus Fantastic Four. Suicide Squad versus the Defenders. Justice League Dark versus
Midnight Suns. Arkham Asylum versus the Sinister Six. Young Justice versus Young Avengers. And
the Rogues versus the Brotherhood of Mutants. Yeah, these duels are a lot of fun. It's pretty
hard work because we don't just compare one character against another character as we typically
do in our duel episodes. We compare seven characters against seven characters. In each team duel,
the way your matrices are set up are for seven characters, a team of seven going up against
a team of seven. Yeah, and it's each member going up against every other member from the
opposing team. A lot of data. Yeah, so it's actually 49,000 simulations that we run, which
is a shit ton. Takes a while, but it's worth it to settle once and for all who would win
in a fight between these misfit teams. Doom Patrol of course is basically a freak show
team of superheroes put together by Dr. Niles Calder and they have their own television show
on Macs that is freaking awesome. As a Marvel fan, I didn't know much about Doom Patrol until
I watched that show, but they have really interesting stories. And of course, everyone loves the
Guardians of the Galaxy movies. They're among my favorite Marvel movies. And I'm saying that
as a DC guy, they're just really well made. Of course, by James Gunn, who's now taking
over DC Studios. I've been looking forward to this match for a while, ever since it was decided
upon by the executive producers to pit these two teams against each other. And I can't wait
to get into it. Yeah, I guarantee you this is going to be the only team duel we ever have,
where we pit a talking tree against a sentient street. It's gonna get weird guys. Yeah, hopefully
it's bonkers. Let's get down to business. To explain the methodology behind our duels, let's
go to our sentient duel simulator, Alfred Jarvis 9000. AG9K, tell our listeners how you go about
determining the winner of our duel matchups. Yes, of course, sir. The way I determine a
winner between the two teams is by running 1000 Monte Carlo simulations between every character
on each team using their statistics. A Monte Carlo simulation is a probabilistic model used
to determine outcomes through random sampling. In this case, I randomize the statistics along
a normal distribution as a way to simulate the many variables that can occur during battle.
The stat parameters are based on the official Marvel power grid from which the DC characters
statistics are extrapolated. Additional stat categories are included, such as range, damage
potential, versatility, and perception, in order to create a more detailed and accurate simulation.
The results of the 49,000 simulations provide a percentage of wins for each character on
both teams. The team with the higher average win rate is declared the victor as they have
a higher probability to win any given battle. In an equitable pairing, neither team should
win 100% of the matches. The comic book stories have shown that there's even a way for Batman
to defeat Superman, so the confidence rate of my method falls in line with the precedents
that have been established in the source material. My mathematical simulations are without subjectivity
or bias. Feats are not the sole consideration. nor are fan votes tabulated for determination
of the winner. Thanks, you, J9K. Before we run the simulations, though, we like to break down
each team's histories and rosters before improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the simulations
would play out, beat for beat. And I believe it's my turn to go first this episode with
the Marvel backstory, so let me go ahead and tell you all about the Guardians of the Galaxy.
The story of the Guardians of the Galaxy began with the incursion of the other-dimensional
despot Annihilus from the Negative Zone into Marvel's reality. He and his Annihilation Wave
destroyed entire galaxies, thousands of worlds, and even several cosmic entities. This unfathomably
large threat created unlikely alliances among interplanetary forces and heroes from across
the universe. Although the heroes were successful in stopping the Annihilation Wave, their victory
came at great loss and sacrifice. This prompted the hero Star-Lord, who was an essential strategist
in the war, to put together a team of space warriors to prevent other future threats. The
initial group was composed of heroes that Star-Lord had fought alongside during Annihilus' invasion,
including Drax the Destroyer, a being created to kill the mad titan Thanos, and Gamora, called
the most dangerous woman in the universe. Starlord also recruited heroes he worked with during
a special mission for the Kree Empire to stop the techno-organic parasitic race, the Phalanx,
who were led by Ultron at the time. This included Mantis, a trained psychic, Rocket Raccoon,
a brilliant weapons engineer, and Groot, a powerful plant creature. Rounding out the initial team
were also Phylavel, then wielder of the Quantum Bands, and the enigmatic Adam Warlock. Starlord,
on the based the team at a space station made from the giant head of a celestial cosmic being
called Nowhere, which had a teleportation system that could beam them nearly anywhere in the
universe. After stopping a cult known as the Universal Church of Truth, the team happened
upon a frozen body floating in the void of space belonging to one Major Vance Astro, a hero
from a far alternate future who had earned the privilege of wielding Captain America's shield.
After thawing out his body, they learned that Vance Astro belonged to a team of heroes known
as the Guardians of the Galaxy, and Rocket Raccoon stole the name for their own group. So this
team wasn't the original Guardians of the Galaxy? In terms of publishing chronology, no, the
original Guardians of the Galaxy team came out in the 1960s, but that was in an alternate
universe. In the Marvel 616 continuity, the Guardians team started being published in the
early 2000s. Interesting. The Guardians unsuccessfully tried to intervene diplomatically when war
broke out between the Inhumans and the Shi'ar alien race, and had to deal with the fallout
of the conflict which opened up a rift in the fabric of the universe into a dimension where
death did not exist and all life had been corrupted. Although the Guardians helped seal the rift,
Star-Lord and Nova sacrificed themselves to stay behind in that dimension in order to keep
Thanos from escaping. Without their leader, The Guardians disbanded and the chief of security
at nowhere, Cosmo the Space Dog, assembled a new team for a time called the Annihilators,
which you can learn more about in our Red Lantern Deck Star vs Cosmo the Space Dog duel episode.
Eventually, Star-Lord was able to return to his dimension with the reality-warping device
the Cosmic Cube. After the Guardians of the Galaxy prevented the podune alien invasion
of Earth, Jason Star-Lord's father and king of the planet Spartax arrested the team for
violating a new galactic law that declared Earth neutral territory. However, the Guardians escaped
with the help of Groot, Jason was subsequently deposed, and the Spartax Council crowned Star-Lord
as their new leader due to his popularity as a galactic hero. Enraged, Jason obliterated
Hala, the capital planet of the alien Kree Empire, in order to obtain a celestial created object
called the Black Vortex. which was capable of evolving a being to their fullest potential.
Jason used it to encase the planet Spartax in an energy construct, but the Guardians were
able to free the people and defeat Jason with help from the X-Men member, Kitty Pride. While
the team initially assisted Star-Lord with his duties as ruler of Spartax, they eventually
separated ways from him, and Rocket Raccoon became the new leader of the Guardians. However,
one former Kree accuser blamed Star-Lord and Spartax for Jason's actions against the former
Throneworld and launched an assault against the Spartoi army. The Guardians assisted in
the battle to defeat the accuser, though Star-Lord was blamed for the damage to the planet Spartax
and was stripped of his title as King. The Guardians of the Galaxy then reunited under their original
leader, but the team was now branded as outlaws and fugitives. While trying to protect the
cosmos while clashing with the Nova Corps, The Guardians found themselves in the middle of
a feud between two elders of the universe, the Grandmaster and the Collector, which ended
in a truce and Star-Lord was gifted an Infinity Stone. The Guardians were able to use the Power
Stone to fend off the Chitauri aliens, but Star-Lord disbanded the team again to join Dr. Strange's
new Infinity Watch, a group of Infinity Stone wielders assembled to prevent Thanos, who was
believed to be dead at the time, from acquiring the stones. You can learn more about Thanos
in our Darkseid vs Thanos duel episode. Eventually, Thanos did return from the dead possessing
the body of his brother Starfox, and the Guardians had to reunite to defeat him. After the formation
of the Galactic Council in the wake of the new Kree-Skrull alliance led by young Avenger Hulkling,
whom you can learn more about in our Miss Martian vs Hulkling duel episode, the Guardians of
the Galaxy were officially sanctioned as protectors of the cosmos.
and an expanded roster that included Nova, Quasar, Nebula, and the Super Scroll. And that's the
history of the Guardians. For this team duel of seven characters, I wanted to include as
many of the 2000's Guardians original roster as possible, since they've been with the team
the longest and are more well known because of the Marvel Studios films. So obviously I'm
starting out with the one who formed the team, Peter Quill aka Star
element guns, and arsenal of various gadgets. By his side will be Gamora carrying a sword
and pair of daggers. Drax the Destroyer is also joining, armed with his signature knives. Rocket
Raccoon will take up the fourth slot, packing a big ass energy blaster, a smaller ass energy
blaster, his jet boots, and enough explosives to destroy a whole city. Groot is next on the
team, and he'll be bringing just himself because that's all he needs. The second to last spot
will be held by Mantis, since I think her empathic and psychic abilities will bring something
new to the table. And finally, I'm going with Adam Warlock, because the guy's a powerhouse
with like so many different powers, and I think I'll need his versatility to round out the
team's stats. So again, that's Starlord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Mantis, and Warlock. And
they're going to put the Doom to the Doom Patrol.
X to the guardians of the galaxy.
So bad. I don't know. Let me get into their backstory. So the Doom Patrol was created by
Dr. Niles Calder, a genius scientific polymath who accidentally paralyzed himself in order
to remove a bomb implanted in his spine by the Nazi villain General Immortus, who had secretly
hired Niles to create a formula for immortality. Though Niles freed himself from General Immortus'
control, he was left distraught and depressed over his new handicap. Eventually realizing
he needed to stop General Immortus, however, Niles developed a theory he called the Catastrophe
Curve, which stated that traumatic, life-altering events such as what Niles had gone through
would force people to adapt and emerge stronger and more capable than they were before. Deducing
that a team of traumatized and ostracized individuals could be strong enough to take on the world's
villains, While also challenging the stigmas that Niles and other handicapped individuals
faced, Niles developed technologies and therapies to help three individuals who had gone through
horrific accidents overcome their injuries and develop superpowers as a result. This included
Cliff Steele, a race car driver whose body was destroyed during a race. Niles was able to
salvage Cliff's brain and put it in a robotic body, creating Robotman. When Hollywood darling
Rita Farr was in an on-set accident that exposed her to chemical vapors that caused her body
to become malleable, Niles helped train her to maintain and control her shape to become
Elasti-Girl. When the guidance system on Air Force Test Pilot Lurie Chynar's experimental
aircraft malfunctioned, sending him through a field of radiation that caused his body to
become irradiated with an other dimensional entity, Niles developed radiation-proof bandages
that allowed Larry to be around and help others as Negative Man. Initially hiding his identity
under the alias The Chief, Niles led the first iteration of the Doom Patrol from their Midway
City headquarters against General Immortus and some of the planet's most bizarre villains,
including Animal Vegetable Mineral Man and Monsieur Malah and the Brain. Rita eventually married
a telepath named Steve Dayton, who joined the team as the hero Mento. and the two of them
adopted the shapeshifting youngster Garfield Logan, aka Beast Boy, who you can learn more
about in our Beast Boy vs. Beast episode. Niles attempted to reform and bring his romantic
interest, Madame Rouge of the Brotherhood of Evil, onto the team, though he failed and she,
along with the villain General Zal, were responsible for the death of the original four-member team
of the Doom Patrol when they chose to sacrifice their lives rather than allow the town of Codsville,
Maine, and its population of 14, to be destroyed. You can learn more about Madame Rouge in her
dual episode with Mystique. Eventually, a new Doom Patrol team, also based in Midway City,
was formed by Niles' mysterious widow, a woman named Arani Desai, who went by the superhero
codename Celsius, as she was able to control temperature. In an effort to stop General Immortus
and find her husband Niles, whom she believed to still be alive, Arani brought together Joshua
Clay, an energy controlling medic known as Tempest, the Russian spy Valentia Vostok, who inherited
Negative Man's radioactive negative spirit entity to become Negative Woman, and Robotman, who
had been rebuilt by Dr. William Magnus, a robotics engineer that you can learn more about in our
Metal Men versus Colossus episode. The team moved to Kansas City, and increased their ranks
to include Lodestone, who could manipulate the electromagnetic spectrum, Karma, who generated
bad luck in others, and a young boy named Scott Fisher with a burning touch. This version of
the team discovered that both Larry Trainor and Niles Calder survived the explosion that
killed the Doom Patrol, though Niles denied ever being married to Irani. Irani died during
the invasion storyline, that also resulted in Negative Woman losing her connection to the
Negative Spirit, Scott Fisher succumbing to leukemia, and Lodestone falling into a coma.
The team disbanded, though was soon reformed by Niles Calder, with Negative Man returning,
though Larry involuntarily merged with a nurse named Eleanor Poole to form a new Negative
entity known as Rebus. Robot Man also returned after an episode of depression and a stint
at a mental facility with dissociative identity disorder named Crazy Jane, who also joined
the team. Joshua Clay agreed to stay on the team as its medic, and soon after a young girl
named Dorothy Spinner, capable of bringing her imaginary friends to life, also joined the
team. When they discovered that the comatose Lodestone was being held captive by a supernatural
serial killer named Red Jack, the team came to her rescue, only for Lodestone to wake up
in a and kill Red Jack herself. The team was based in the Justice League's former secret
sanctuary headquarters until they met Danny the Street, a teleporting sentient genderqueer
pocket dimension upon whom lived Flexmantallo, a muscle-bound man of muscle mystery. When
a malevolent entity known as the Candlemaker that posed as one of Dorothy's imaginary friends
was unleashed, the team suffered massive casualties, with Robotman's brain getting and Joshua being
killed by Niles, just before it was revealed that Niles was responsible for the accidents
that befell the original team members and he was decapitated by the Candlemaker. Once the
Candlemaker was defeated, several of the team's members, including Crazy Jane and Rebus, decided
to leave the team to retire on Danny, who by this point had grown to the size of a planet.
After Robotman was rebuilt by Dr. Magnus again, he Dorothy and Niles, whose head was kept alive
with nanobots, moved into an abandoned country club known as the Rainbow Estates that was
haunted by sex ghosts who were used to power the team's technology. The team took on the
Bandage People, a married couple named George and Marion who were wrapped in bandages, and
a transgender superhero named Kate Godwin, aka Quagula, who could control states of matter.
Alice wired for sound, he left the team to enter the Tree of Life, and only Robotman, Coagula,
and Dorothy remained, though Dorothy destroyed both of them during a psychic meltdown that
also put her into a coma. A new corporate version of the Doom Patrol was later formed by a wealthy
industrialist named Thayer Jost as a young superteam with members named Fast Forward, Fever, Freak,
though this version of Robotman was revealed to be an imaginary version created by the still
comatose Dorothy. The other members of the team found and revived the real Robotman, who made
the difficult decision to remove Dorothy from life support, after which the team disbanded.
During the Infinite Crisis event, where Superboy Prime and Alexander Luther of Earth 3 created
The original Doom Patrol of Niles, Robotman, Elastigirl, and Larry Trainer as Negative Man
were revealed to be a team once again. After recovering their memories of past continuity,
they learned that Elastigirl had been regrown by Niles from a fragment of her skull that
he had uncovered. The team reunited with Mento and aided the Teen Titans, during which it
was revealed that Niles was manipulating the team. in order to cure them as a form of penance
for having orchestrated their accidents in the past. Niles was kicked off of the team, with
both Mento and Beast Boy assuming leadership for a brief time, and with the Titan heroes
Vox and Bumblebee joining the Doom Patrol. When the team set up their headquarters on Oolong
Island, Crazy Jane and Danny returned, though the latter as a brick, and Ambish Bug also
joined the team. After the Flashpoint event reset DC's continuity, the original four-member
team of Niles, Robotman, Elastigwomen now, and Negativeman were joined by Elementwomen. When
Niles and the team attempted to capture Jessica Cruz, the Green Lantern, to get her onto the
team, it was revealed by Lex Luthor that Niles had caused the team's accidents, and they went
their separate ways. The team was eventually brought back together by Casey Brink. a comic
book character from Danny the Street's self-published series that was brought to life. The team helped
save Danny from aliens who were trying to force him to mass produce meat for their intergalactic
chain of fast food restaurants. After Niles attempted to recruit the team for a mission
that turned out to be a form of payment for Niles' gambling debts, the team kicked him
out. Currently, the Doom Patrol is led by Crazy Jane, now controlled by an alternate personality
known and consists of Robotman, Elastigwoman, Negativeman, and newcomers Beast Girl and Degenerate.
For my team, I'm definitely starting with Robotman, as he is the only Doom Patrol member that has
been a part of each incarnation of the team. I'm also going with Dr. Niles Calder, aka the
Chief, as he was the team's founder, as well as Negativeman and Elastigwoman since they
were original members.
Though I've already used Beast Boy in our Titans vs X-Men team duel episode, and there are definitely
more interesting Doom Patrol members than Mento, including Crazy Jane, Dorothy Spinner, and
Danny the Street, each of whom have been made popular by the Doom Patrol television series
on Max, and who were chosen by our executive producers. So that rounds out my seven member
team. Robot Man, The Chief, Negative Man, Elastigwomen, Crazy Jane, Dorothy Spinner and Danny the Street.
I should note that if you want to learn more about any of the characters on my roster or
Jonathan's roster, check out their individual dual episodes because they all have them. Yeah,
some of them are pretty old, but they exist. I had to say listening to the history of the
Doom Patrol, I think the only team that has disbanded and reformed more than them is the
Guardians of the Galaxy. I don't think I quite gave across the impression that the Guardians
split up and reform over and over again. Yeah, that's the case. I kind of skipped over it
because it got annoying after a while. But that's something these teams definitely have in common.
And in the Deer Patrol's instance, it's always something to do with Niles Colder and how he
fucked up. Yeah, with the Guardians, it's usually something dealing with Peter Quill. The original
Guardians team only formed because he had Mantis psychically manipulate the group into coming
together. Oh, no way. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, you have some shitty shit going on both
sides.
Well, now that we've got the histories and rosters out of the way, let's speculate on how one
of the simulated matches will go. The winning team is determined by simulations, not this
speculation, but it's fun to imagine how this fight could play out. Alfred Jarvis9000, what
are the rules of our speculation? Well, I should say there are no rules, other than the teams
have no prior knowledge of the other going into the fight. All they are aware of starting out
is that the other side is a threat that needs to be eliminated. For the speculation, the
groups will begin approximately 50 meters apart in a non-descript environment that will have
no bearing on the match itself, as no environmental statistics are considered in my simulations.
The teams must earn victory on their own merit. Alright then, let's get into it. Doom Patrol
and Guardians of the Galaxy meet on the battlefield. Who goes first? So I imagine starting out that
the Doom Patrol is standing on Denny the Street, just looking at the Guardians of the Galaxy.
and like a marquee above a theater on Danny is gonna read, who the hell are these guys?
And then Groot's gonna be like, I am Groot, which means we're the freaking guardians of
the galaxy, except he doesn't say the word freaking, but that line is gonna be like the team's rallying
cry and they're gonna charge into battle and Rocket Raccoon is gonna start off who's riding
on Groot's shoulder and he's gonna fire a grenade launcher that shoots out this volley of explosions.
that just rain down on Danny the Street and the rest of the Doom Patrol. Okay, but just
before those explosives land and the Guardians reach the Doom Patrol, Danny's just going to
teleport the Doom Patrol right behind the Guardians. And Negative Man is going to get the jump on
them by firing out his negative spirit that just tears through rockets and like Drax and
Gamora at Sonic Speed, causing them this debilitating pain. Yeah, but when Negative Man sends out
his negative spirit, he just, his body just like collapses to the ground, right? Yeah,
but like, you know, I'm sure Danny is gonna hide his body in a basement to keep it safe
or something like that. It's fine. Well, unfortunately for the negative spirit, I'll say the Guardians
have a member who deals with like matters of the spirit all the time. And that's Adam Warlock,
who is the former wielder of the Soul Gem. So Adam Warlock, he's going to psychically hone
in on the negative spirit and he's going to trap it in this like cosmic energy cocoon that
the spirit can't phase out of. Meaning negative man is screwed because doesn't he die if the
negative spirit doesn't return back to his body within a certain amount of time? It used to
be 60 seconds, but like that amount of time has increased significantly in recent years.
So, you know, we'll see what we can do about that later. Meanwhile, Elastawoman grows to
six stories tall. and stomps on Star Lord. You mean she tries to stomp on Star Lord, but as
he sees her gargantuan foot like descending on him, he's going to blast her with his element
guns, which encase both of her legs in ice, freezing them so she can't move. And she's
just stuck there with one leg in the air. And that's when Groot runs over and he grows himself
to giant size to match Elastigwomans height, and he just knocks her over. sending her crashing
to the ground. Well, I mean, Alessa Woman is basically made out of silly putty, so the fall's
not actually going to hurt her, and she'll just shrink back down to escape the ice. But meanwhile,
crazy Jane turns into Sun Daddy, like this two-story tall woman with a sun fur ahead, and she's
gonna hurl fireballs at Groot, setting his ass on fire. Oh shit, uh, except that she doesn't
do that. What? Son Daddy thought she wanted to hurt Groot, but then she suddenly decides
that, you know, she likes him. And instead she turns all of her anger and negative emotions
to that guy over there in the wheelchair and sets his ass on fire. And that is because Mantis
got a vision of the future of Groot on fire. And so to prevent it, she empathically manipulated
Crazy Jane's mind. Okay. Son Daddy hurls a fireball towards the chief, which He's just going to
block with the force field because he already has that activated, right? But Crazy Jane's
alters her other personalities. They're going to realize right away that she's being psychically
manipulated. So they're going to break up that psychic connection by sending up Silvertongue
from the underground, who is going to take control of Crazy Jane's body and be like, stay out
of my mind. And those words are going to turn into these blades in midair that fly at Mantis
and slice her up. No, no, because Gamora is going to leap into the way and block all of
these flying blades with her sword, just knocking him out of the air with her badass sword skills.
And then she's going to like slide tackle Crazy Jane to the ground and then just jam a dagger
in her chest. And while that's happening, Drax is going to run over to one of the Doom Patrol
members to fight them. But it turns out it's Dorothy Spinner. She turns around and Drax
sees that it's just a young girl. So it's awkward because like Drax... doesn't want to fight
her because she probably reminds him of his daughter. So he's like, go away, get out of
here, hairy child. And then he's going to run over a robot man and just plow into him like
a charging bull. I mean, Drax probably shouldn't have caught the attention of Dorothy spinner
because before he even reaches robot man, Dorothy's like, Cliff, look out. And she's going to unleash
dark is the morning that looks like a shadow with like a huge fanged mouth. And that's going
to shoot over to Drax and just bite down on his head. Meanwhile, a robot man sees this
and he's like, what the fuck? And while Drax is distracted and his face is covered, that's
when Robotman runs up and just kicks Drax right in the nuts. All right. So Drax is going to
fall to the floor and puke from the pain. But since this shadow creature is like chomped
down over his head, he's going to puke into the shadow creature and it's going to cause
it to dissipate. And Drax is going to be like, victoriously like, I vanquish the monster.
Rocket. sees all this happening and he just shakes his head before leaping over to the
chief and he's like, oh, I'm going to get that wheelchair. So he pulls out and then rolls
over an explosive grenade toward the chief that detonates right underneath his seat and launches
him out of the chair. Okay, but the chief has sensors in his chair that will notify him if
there's like a nearby explosive. So the chief does launch out of the wheelchair, but he's
in an ejector seat with a parachute. And as he's floating to the ground from high in the
sky, he's gonna pull out a handgun and take aim at Mantis, and he's gonna shoot her in
the chest. So she's out of the match. Okay, Mantis gets shot, but before she dies from
the wound, she's gonna actually project her astral form out of her body. And her spirit's
gonna travel over to Groot and possess his mind because, you know, she can communicate with
plant life as part of her training. And... She has the ability to reform a new body out of
vegetation. That's why she's the color green. So she has Groot use his powers to create this
like plant woman, essentially. And then Mantis is going to inhabit it with her mind, form
it into her new body. And it's like she never left. She's back in action. That's dumb. But
by this point, the negative spirit that was inside of Adam Warlock's cosmic cocoon. It's
gonna explode out of that because it was able to absorb all of that cosmic energy and evolve
into a more powerful form like Rebus who also formed in this cosmic egg type cocoon and it's
gonna dive into Danny the Street, repossess Negative Man that's just gonna make him stronger
and now capable of flight so Negative Man flies out of Danny's basement and goes toe-to-toe
with Adam Warlock just trading blows and blasting him with powerful radioactive beams Bet Adam
Warlock regretted that. I mean, Adam Warlock has energy shields, so he's able to block these
beams with his energy force fields. And then he's going to use quantum magic to just exercise
the negative spirit out of negative man's body while he's flying midair. What? And that's
going to cause the negative man to just fall down to the ground to his death. So negative
man's dead. Fine. And then Adam Warlock's going to manipulate the negative spirit energy. into
like this like energy ball, removing the consciousness within. And then he's going to hurl this energy
ball at Robotman, just exploding Robotman's limbs all over the battlefield. Now, except
that before this energy ball even hits Robotman, Danny is going to erect a stop sign that's
going to deflect it like just enough that it misses Robotman, its target. But we'll say
it probably hits like one of Danny's buildings. And that's going to hurt Danny. enough to probably
make him shrink down so that he becomes Danny the Tank, which Robotman is gonna hop inside
and drive, all right? And Robotman's gonna take aim at Groot, just blasting him with this explosive
tank shell, and that's gonna reduce him to twigs. Oh shit, okay, so Groot gets blasted, but that
pisses Rocket off, who by this point reconstructed the Chief's wheelchair into this powerful energy
cannon. that he shoots at Danny the Tank and just blasts it with enough force to turn him
into Danny the Brick. Ugh. So, Danny's out, and Robotman gets blown like, dozens of yards
away, right next to Star-Lord. And, uh, the two size each other up, and Star-Lord looks
at him, and he turns up his Walkman to the maximum volume. And then he hits play, and starts doing
the Thriller dance. Oh shit, is this like a dance-off? It's a dance-off, bro! Me and you.
Alright, so, Robotman, he'll counter with the robot. He's gonna be like, Tomo arigato, Mr.
Robot. Pop and lock, pop and lock. Ooh, can't touch this. Alright, then Star-Lord starts
doing the pendulum from the right stuff. He's like, oh,
oh. Oh, look, Robotman is on the ground doing the worm. And then he segues into like, the
windmill into a head spin. Oh! Then he jumps to his feet and he's like, top that motherfucker.
And then Star-Lord just shoots Robotman with electrical energy blasts, just flying his circuits.
It was all just a distraction and Robotman fell for it. So Robotman's out of the match. It
was worth it. OK, Dorothy saw this. And she loves Cliff, so she is like emotionally traumatized.
And she's gonna hear the candle maker whisper in her head, make a wish. So she does. And
suddenly Star-Lord's mask is gonna turn into this like monster demon creature wrapped around
his face that just suffocates him and kills him. Oh, geez. Like a face hugger? Exactly,
exactly. From alien? Scary, freaky alien monster. Geez. Meanwhile, Crazy Jane. She was on the
ground bleeding from the wound Gamora stabbed in her chest, but the Hangman's beautiful daughter
personality takes control and paints a bandage on the ground using her blood, which then is
going to become real, and she uses that bandage to stop the bleeding, after which she gets
taken control of by Black Annis, you know, with her red eyes, blue skin, and she has these
like four razor-sharp,
So she's in control and she's going to attack Drax cause she hates men. And she's going to
stab him right in the chest with all eight claws, like right into his heart. These are like Wolverine
claws. Like are they made out of adamantium? Cause like they'd have to be pretty dang sharp
to cut into Drax. I mean, they're like supernatural blades. Okay. All right. Well, Drax is going
to look down and he's going to see these claws sticking into his chest and he's going to be
like, my nipples. And then he's gonna be like, die. And he's gonna shove both of his blades
into her neck. So basically they're gonna take each other out. They both bleed out. They're
both out of the match. But Gamora, she saw what Dorothy Spinner did to Star-Lord. So she knows
this little girl has to go down. But she's like, no one wants to see Dorothy get stabbed or
anything. So what Gamora's gonna do is she's gonna sneak up behind Dorothy and just yeet
her. What? Yeah, she picks up this 90 pound, like pipsqueak of a child and just. freaking
tosses her toward their horizon. You know, probably killing her, not in a way that anyone could
see or certainly describe. Out of sight, out of mind. But Dorothy's out of the match. Being
your father changes you, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, we'll say that while that happened, the
chief has landed safely near Robotman, who's been deactivated, and he's gonna plug into
him like a nanobot cartridge that repairs and upgrades Robotman's systems. So Robotman's
back online, he's like, fuck yeah. And the chief tells him to go after the raccoon's gun because
the chief wants it. So Robotman runs up near Rocket and pulls his energy cannon out of his
hands using magnetic upgrades. And that's when he uses that cannon to blast Adam Warlock to
smithereens. It was just like dialed up all the way. And before Rocket even has the time
to react, he's gonna get hit in the head by a brick. Danny the Brick specifically, which
the chief threw. So Rocket's dead too. Geez, that's animal cruelty. He's an alien animal,
right? That's true. Okay, so Robotman has his upgrades, but suddenly he's feeling something
weird going on with his new inner workings. Like maybe he had some bad sushi or something.
When suddenly a branch shoots out of his mouth and his whole body... is going to start bursting
at the rivets and getting wrapped up in vines as a whole ass tree man grows out from within
Robotman's body. That's right, Robotman thought he blew up Groot, but I'm going to say one
of the twigs survived and made its way inside Robotman's metal shell, taking him out from
the inside. Groot's back. I love how these plant creatures just keep coming back. It's awesome.
I'm going to say though that Groot starts feeling weird. Like he ate some bad whatever the fuck
Groot eats, all right? And he's like, I am Groot. And that's when his body is torn apart from
the inside by Alastewoman, who had shrunk her body down and squeezed into Groot's body before
expanding and breaking him apart. And I say no way he has the energy to regrow himself
again for this match. So he's out. Way to be original with that one. So I got to say about
that. So that happened, that was quite the spectacle of Robotman dying and then Groot dying. Chief
is watching this happen and all of a sudden he hears like this whirring sound. Like woo
woo. And he quickly turns around to see where it's coming from and whack! Sword right through
the neck. Because Gamora threw her sword and it comes spinning through the air like a saw
blade across the battlefield and just decapitates the Chief. So he's out and same thing for Elastawoman.
She hears a whirring sound too. dagger to the face. Gamora is just throwing blades, taking
names. Yeah, but Alastor woman can't really be injured physically like that. So she's simply
going to pull the knife from her face and she's going to stretch her arms toward Gamora, just
picking her up and lifting her into the sky as she grows to like skyscraper height. And
then she's just going to drop Gamora. And we're going to see Gamora's dead body on the ground,
just like an end game. Again, with the originality, that was the same move that you did in the
Hawk Girl versus Gamora fight. Hey, it's a classic for a reason. All right. OK, so it's just down
to Mantis and Elastawoman now. I believe so. Yeah. The bigger they are, the bigger the brain.
So Mantis, like she's going to climb up Elastawoman, scaling her like a building until she gets
up to her shoulder. And then Mantis is going to put her hand on the Elastawoman's head that
sends a surge of like psychic pain through her mind, shutting it down. and causing the last
woman to just drop to the ground into this lifeless puddle. And guardians win. Except that you
know how you said that Dorothy was tossed toward the horizon by Gamora? Yes, okay. Well, it
turns out her imaginary friend, flying Robert, who's like this cherub with a balloon for a
head, caught her and dropped her back off at the battlefield. So Dorothy's back and she
sees that all of her friends are dead, so she's horrified. And in her distress, She's gonna
emit this like nuclear bomb sized psychic explosion that's just gonna rock Mantis' mind and kill
her. And Dorothy is gonna go into a coma afterward, but she's alive at the end. So it counts for
a win for the Doom Patrol. I knew Gamora should have been a little bit more direct in getting
rid of Dorothy. That's what you get. I'm gonna say that Dorothy actually isn't horrified when
she returns. She's actually just, you know, real chill in spite of everything, just calm.
because Mantis empathically calms her down. And then Mantis is just gonna put Dorothy into
a deep sleep. So either way, Dorothy is in a coma, but in this case, it's still a guardian's
win. And we can leave the match there. Either Dorothy unleashes a psychic explosion that
shuts down Mantis' mind and then goes into a coma, or Mantis shuts down Dorothy's mind and
Dorothy still goes into a coma. So we'll find out which way Dorothy goes into a coma. by
running the stats on all these characters and coming back with a winner. Let's do it. AJ9K,
run the stats. Inputting data, running calculations, processing results, simulations complete. All
right, poor Dorothy. I feel bad because that's- She can't break. Yeah, that's how she ended
up passing in the comic books, right? She went into a coma. Right. But no, I liked the way
that match went. It did end up being pretty weird. but the team seemed like a good match
for each other. They were an even better match for each other statistically than I initially
suspected. I thought this was actually gonna be a little bit more lopsided of a match, but
statistically they ended up pretty well balanced. Right, my most powerful character was crazy
Jane, it turns out. Yeah, and mine was Adam Warlock. Which wasn't too surprising. Like
I figured he was gonna be your most powerful guy, but surprisingly, Another one of my most
powerful team members was the Chief. I did not see that coming actually. Well, that's because
of the versatility stat. By far, the Doom Patrol was so much more versatile than the Guardians
of the Galaxy. That was the biggest disparity between the team stats because Chief can do
almost anything he puts his mind to. Dorothy Spinner can summon all sorts of imaginary creatures.
Crazy Jane can turn into so many different types of super powered beings. Danny the street can
manifest as so many different types of locations. Like so many of these characters were able
to adapt in so many different ways. Whereas the guardians were a little bit more, you know,
straightforward in their approach to their powers, except for Adam Warlock. He was my most versatile
and Rocket Raccoon also had quite a few tricks up his sleeve. I would say your guys's were
much more weighted in the physical end of the spectrum. Whereas mine were a little bit more
diverse all over the board. Yeah, actually the thing that Marvel came out furthest ahead on
was fighting skill. A lot of the Guardians of the Galaxy members are just more adept fighters
like Mantis, Drax, Gamora. They're all well trained as opposed to the Doom Patrol, which
very few of them have formal hand-to-hand combat training. In the end, the Guardians individual
win percentages ran anywhere from 35% to 75% with Drax actually getting the lowest amount
of wins. out of all of his simulations, and then Adam Warlock winning three-fourths of
his matches. Similarly, Robotman actually had the lowest win rate out of anyone in Doom Patrol,
whereas Crazy Jane had the highest win rate. Similarly, Victorious about three-fourths of
the time. With all that said, Jonathan, which of these teams do you think ultimately is going
to end up the victor? I'm really hoping it's going to be the Doom Patrol. I just really
like the team, but I also know that they're insanely versatile. I really think that's going
to come through for them in a clinch. Instagram disagrees with me. Fifty four percent of our
poll takers there said that Guardians of the Galaxy were going to win, to which I just have
to respond. You guys don't watch the Doom Patrol show and you should be. Why would they when
they can watch the Guardians of the Galaxy movies? Right? Because that's over. That's it's done.
Get over it. Doom Patrol is over too. Oh, I guess the last half of the last season hasn't
come out, but that shows over in Dunwith as well. Yeah, I mean, but not yet. So technically
media-wise, Doom Patrol survived longer. Let's see if that's the case with this match. AJ
9000, the results please. Hey, Yuasa. All right, the winner of this team duel between the Doom
Patrol and the Guardians of the Galaxy is Doom Patrol. Yes, which is bullshit. I got to say,
did not see like I totally thought Guardians had this one in the bag. How the fuck did the
Doom Patrol pull this off? There are a bunch of freaking losers. OK, that's ableist of you.
Very, very close matchup, though. Doom Patrol won a whopping five hundred four matches out
of one thousand. So they barely beat the Guardians. Guardians won four hundred ninety six of the
matches. So it was fifty point four percent to forty nine. 50.6% overall. This is really
close. That actually surprised me. I don't remember if this is our closest team duel or not, but
it just might be. It's one of the closer ones. Wow. 50.4%. Good job Doom Patrol. I mean, considering
that Both Doom Patrol and Guardians are probably the least similar in terms of their rosters.
You know, I would say that something like Justice League and Avengers are much more similar in
their lineups. But Justice League and Avengers was a pretty lopsided match. This Doom Patrol
Guardians one is not. So I don't know. That's just interesting how some of the stuff plays
out. Just means that we and the executive producers did a great job picking this match. Yeah, it
was a lot of fun really looking forward to our next match, which I believe is going to be
the Legion of Doom. versus the Masters of Evil. So another Doom team. Yeah, if by Doom you
mean dumb, sure. Yeah, another dumb team. What? I don't know what I'm saying. All right, let's
go to wrap this up because that does it for this duel, guys. Let us know what you thought
about the results by writing to us at dynamicduelpodcast.gmail.com or by visiting us on Instagram or X. You can
find the links to all of our accounts by checking out our show notes or visiting our website
at dynamicduel.com. And on our site, you could also find a link to our Patreon page where
you could join our Dynamic Duo tier and chat with us and fellow listeners, our fantastic
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also at dynamicduel.com so you'll never miss an episode. You can also rate our show on Apple
Podcasts, Spotify, Podchaser, or on our website. Our next episode is gonna be a review. We're
going to discuss the latest season of Harley Quinn on Macs. It's a really funny show, I
haven't started watching it yet, so I'm gonna cram it and then we're gonna talk about it.
But that does it for this episode. We wanna give a big thanks to our executive producers.
Ken Johnson, John Sturawski, Zachary Hepburn, Dustin Belcombe, Mickey Mathen-Geehan, Brendan
Estergard, Nathaniel Wagner, Levi Yeaton, Nick Abonto, Austin Wazolowski, AJ Dunkerley, Scott
Camacho, and Adam Spies for helping make this podcast possible. And we'll talk to you guys
next week. Up up and away, true believers. Dance off bro, me and you.