1 00:00:03,283 --> 00:00:03,344 you 2 00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:28,277 Dynamic Duel Podcast, a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate the superiority 3 00:00:28,317 --> 00:00:33,462 between Marvel and DC by comparing their characters in stat-based battle simulations. I'm Johnny 4 00:00:33,502 --> 00:00:40,087 DC. And I'm his twin brother, Marvelous Joe. And welcome to the 2021 holiday animal battle, 5 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:45,792 that sounds weird, charity episode. Yeah, every year around Giving Tuesday, which is today, 6 00:00:46,092 --> 00:00:52,177 Jonathan and I like to host a charity duel between two of the more whimsical Marvel and DC characters. 7 00:00:52,626 --> 00:00:57,448 This episode, we're going to find out who would win in a fight between Gleek and Hitmonkey. 8 00:00:57,768 --> 00:01:01,831 They're both monkey characters for their respective universes, and we think it'll be pretty funny 9 00:01:01,851 --> 00:01:06,113 considering, you know, monkeys are just hilarious. Yeah, especially little tiny monkeys like these 10 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:12,677 guys. You know what's not hilarious though? COVID-19. Which I have right now recovering 11 00:01:12,717 --> 00:01:18,900 from. So if it sounds like I'm out of breath, it's because I am. And if it sounds echoey, 12 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:24,335 it's because I'm in my quarantine space recording. So apologies for the audio this time. Yeah, 13 00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:29,039 I mean, I told Jonathan that we could skip this week, but he was willing to push forward and 14 00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:34,182 keep our record of never missing an episode of this podcast going on six years now. Yeah, 15 00:01:34,242 --> 00:01:39,626 I mean, I don't feel terrible. I do encourage anyone who can get vaccinated to get vaccinated. 16 00:01:39,686 --> 00:01:43,269 I think that's really helped me. So yeah, I didn't want to miss this episode, especially 17 00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:46,632 this one, because this one's gonna be fun. Yeah, I can't wait to get into it before we go into 18 00:01:46,652 --> 00:01:51,070 the histories and backstories of Gleek and Hitmonkey. we're gonna go over the comic book movie news 19 00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:55,692 from the past week, of which there was just one news item, and that's the DC League of 20 00:01:55,772 --> 00:02:00,094 Super Pets official trailer. So we'll talk about that, then get into the duel. As always, we 21 00:02:00,134 --> 00:02:04,096 list our segment times and our episode description, so feel free to check out the show notes if 22 00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:08,117 you wanna skip ahead to a particular topic. And guys, if you listened to one of our charity 23 00:02:08,157 --> 00:02:12,359 duel episodes before, you know that every year we give to a different organization. For the 24 00:02:12,419 --> 00:02:16,521 past couple of years, we've given to Pop Culture Classroom, but this year, in light of COVID, 25 00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:21,148 we're switching it up a bit. What we're going to do is raise money for the HealthWell Foundation, 26 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:26,953 which is a leading nonprofit dedicated to improving access to care for America's underinsured. 27 00:02:27,033 --> 00:02:30,817 If you're listening to us from outside of the US, you probably don't get this, but we have 28 00:02:30,837 --> 00:02:35,641 a shitty healthcare system and some people can't afford to pay for the healthcare services they 29 00:02:35,681 --> 00:02:40,124 receive, especially during these trying times. So with this organization, when health insurance 30 00:02:40,164 --> 00:02:45,489 is not enough, they fill the gap by assisting with copays, premiums, deductibles, and out-of-pocket 31 00:02:45,529 --> 00:02:50,303 expenses. through their crowd-sourced disease-related funds. What this podcast is gonna do is set 32 00:02:50,343 --> 00:02:54,844 up a Facebook fundraiser. So if you guys aren't following us on Facebook, go ahead and search 33 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:59,425 for Dynamic Duel DC versus Marvel, and you can find the fundraiser there. Go ahead and donate 34 00:02:59,605 --> 00:03:04,927 any amount between today, giving Tuesday, and Christmas Day. And at the end of December, 35 00:03:04,987 --> 00:03:11,489 Jonathan and I will pick two random donors to award a free Dynamic Duel card game to. Jonathan 36 00:03:11,529 --> 00:03:15,871 and I have made a couple of card games. that are Marvel and DC based, and we wanna give 37 00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:20,795 it to two of you donors. So if you feel so inclined to this Giving Tuesday, again, visit this podcast's 38 00:03:20,875 --> 00:03:27,080 Facebook page and donate to the HealthWell Foundation using that pinned post. And because we want 39 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:32,444 you guys so badly to donate to this organization, we are currently making all of our archived 40 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:37,627 episodes available to the listening public. Instead of subscribing to our show, we want 41 00:03:37,647 --> 00:03:42,346 you guys to instead put that money toward our fundraiser. And it doesn't matter what amount 42 00:03:42,366 --> 00:03:47,147 you donate, anything helps. But during this giving season, we appreciate any amount of 43 00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:51,688 giving. So those of you who are currently subscribed to this show on Spotify, I don't believe you'll 44 00:03:51,728 --> 00:03:56,010 get charged for the month of December. And those who are currently subscribed to us on Patreon, 45 00:03:56,370 --> 00:04:01,051 you'll still get access to all of your standard bonus perks, including the bonus episodes, 46 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:05,692 access to our Discord server, blooper reels, and more. I just wanna give a quick special 47 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:11,026 shout out to one of our patrons, Dustin Balcom, when he found out that I had COVID. His family 48 00:04:11,106 --> 00:04:16,909 sent my family a couple of pizzas, which was just awesome. My family and I are super grateful 49 00:04:17,029 --> 00:04:20,711 for the act of generosity. We really appreciate it, and I just wanted to give you a shout out 50 00:04:20,731 --> 00:04:27,675 and say thank you very much. But with that out of the way, quick to the No Prize. A No Prize 51 00:04:27,695 --> 00:04:32,297 is an award Marvel used to give out up until the 90s to fans. Our version, the dynamic dual 52 00:04:32,337 --> 00:04:37,380 No Prize, is a digital award we post on social media that Jonathan personally draws for those 53 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:42,074 who we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week. Last week's question was in regards 54 00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:47,475 to the Spider-Man No Way Home trailer that we got a few weeks ago. We asked you guys who 55 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:52,837 has been your favorite live action Spider-Man villain and why. We got a few great answers 56 00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:56,958 for this. Let's go ahead and run down our honorable mentions as well as the no prize winner. Our 57 00:04:57,058 --> 00:05:03,640 first honorable mention goes to Jacob Bell who said, Hey guys, this is Jacob Bell. My favorite 58 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:09,514 live action Spider-Man villain has got to be the vulture. I think Michael Keaton. plays 59 00:05:09,614 --> 00:05:15,357 a great villain and I honestly think that the Vulture and his motivations are probably the 60 00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:21,421 best just because, I mean, you can really almost get on board with what he's doing and also 61 00:05:21,461 --> 00:05:27,865 the twist with him being Liz's dad was just incredible and so I love Michael Keaton as 62 00:05:27,905 --> 00:05:31,708 the Vulture, that's my favorite. And yeah, I would have to agree. I'd say the Vulture is 63 00:05:31,788 --> 00:05:36,823 probably one of the MCU's like top three villains. Yeah, while most Spider-Man villains are seeking 64 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:41,386 power, the vulture in Spider-Man Homecoming was really motivated by survival and providing 65 00:05:41,406 --> 00:05:45,809 for his family. Of course, it got a little bit out of hand and he needed to be stopped, but 66 00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:50,672 it was really easy to identify with the character. And Michael Keaton just gave great performance. 67 00:05:51,173 --> 00:05:55,896 Yeah, the way they adapted his costume from the comics too, like, mwah, chef's kiss, so 68 00:05:55,916 --> 00:06:00,079 well done. Oh yeah, movie version of the vulture was a huge improvement over the comic book 69 00:06:00,099 --> 00:06:04,722 version. Although we'll be getting to a vulture duel before long on this podcast. Our next 70 00:06:04,762 --> 00:06:12,805 honorable mention goes to Benjamin Alves, who said, Hi guys, I think Alfred Molina as Doc 71 00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:20,328 Ock was the best Spider-Man villain. He's such a great actor. I love all his movies. And I 72 00:06:20,428 --> 00:06:26,851 love the part where he was with Otme on the building. So menacing. It was awesome. I think, 73 00:06:27,531 --> 00:06:35,230 and it's just, there's no other word to describe it. Bye. Great answer, Benjamin. Yeah, Doctor 74 00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:39,771 Octopus is definitely one of Spider-Man's best villains to ever appear in live action. We 75 00:06:39,811 --> 00:06:44,132 all know that Spider-Man 2 is one of the best Spider-Man movies ever made, mainly because 76 00:06:44,352 --> 00:06:49,194 of how great Doc Ock was in that film. Alfred Molina just knocked it out of the park. He 77 00:06:49,294 --> 00:06:53,275 also created a Spider-Man villain that we could sympathize with. And there's no discounting 78 00:06:53,335 --> 00:06:57,516 the design of those tentacles, right? Those were badass looking. Oh, man. Yeah, those were 79 00:06:57,596 --> 00:07:02,557 really well designed. It's no surprise that Doctor Octopus is many people's favorite Spider-Man 80 00:07:02,577 --> 00:07:06,756 villain. Yeah, and one of the reasons why he's playing such a big role in Spider-Man No Way 81 00:07:06,796 --> 00:07:12,820 Home allegedly. Our final honorable mention goes to Marquis High, who said, Hello gentlemen, 82 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:20,225 so Marquis High here. Just give me a call. I'd say for the villain, must off-top go with Michael 83 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:25,269 Keaton. Always just a great actor, even if he doesn't really know too much about the characters 84 00:07:25,289 --> 00:07:31,533 that he's acting. But besides that, I definitely would have to go with Doc Ock. He's always 85 00:07:32,293 --> 00:07:38,264 just... had more of a human aspect, very relatable. And the fact that he turns into a potential 86 00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:44,527 hero is something big. Marquis has a great radio voice, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. Yeah, but 87 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:48,049 great answer. This is kind of a combination of the previous two where he mentioned both 88 00:07:48,169 --> 00:07:53,792 Vulture and Doctor Octopus. I think those two guys are widely regarded among the Spider-Man 89 00:07:53,812 --> 00:07:58,814 fan community as the best villains to appear in these movies. Hopefully. We get to see them 90 00:07:58,874 --> 00:08:04,416 team up in the upcoming Spider-Man No Way Home movie, but we don't know yet what kind of role 91 00:08:04,476 --> 00:08:08,798 Vulture will play in that film. We want to give a quick shout out to Evan Tompke for visiting 92 00:08:08,838 --> 00:08:15,121 our website to record an answer, but the winner of this week's No Prize is Miggy Mathengian 93 00:08:15,301 --> 00:08:19,723 who said, Hey guys, this is Miggy and my favorite live action Spider-Man villain is Green Goblin. 94 00:08:20,203 --> 00:08:23,745 In my opinion, it's best when the villain makes it personal. And he definitely did that when 95 00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:28,642 he attacked his aunt and girlfriend. He also endangered a lot of innocent lives, like when 96 00:08:28,662 --> 00:08:32,643 he attacked the Macy's Day Parade and dropped those kids off the Washington Bridge and attacked 97 00:08:32,663 --> 00:08:38,325 the Daily Bugle. And he continued to ruin Peter's life by deteriorating his relationship with 98 00:08:38,365 --> 00:08:43,506 Harry even after his death. More so than any other Spider-Man villain, I would say that 99 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:48,528 Green Goblin has a knack for making it personal, not just in the movies, but also the comics. 100 00:08:49,088 --> 00:08:53,889 Oh yeah, he makes Peter Parker's life a living hell. I really like the way they exemplified 101 00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:59,576 that in these movies. Like Miggy said, even affecting Peter Parker after his death. When 102 00:08:59,596 --> 00:09:05,139 you have a villain that not only attacks the hero's grandma, but also drops a bunch of kids 103 00:09:05,219 --> 00:09:09,202 in a cable car off a bridge, you know you're dealing with some hardcore shit. Yeah, he's 104 00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:16,006 like borderline Joker, right? Yeah, if like the Joker were way better and on Marvel. Just 105 00:09:16,046 --> 00:09:20,448 like that, for sure. He's a villain that's so good they included him twice in both Spider-Man 106 00:09:20,689 --> 00:09:25,827 and The Amazing Spider-Man 2. But I'm really looking forward to Willem Dafoe's return as 107 00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:30,189 the character in the upcoming No Way Home film. So congrats again to Mickey, Matt, and Keon 108 00:09:30,209 --> 00:09:33,950 for winning this week's No Prize. If you, the listener, want a shot at winning your own No 109 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:38,552 Prize, stay tuned to later on this episode when we'll be asking another Question of the Week. 110 00:09:39,052 --> 00:09:41,273 And now that that's done, onto the news! 111 00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:51,743 Okay, so last week we got our first official trailer of the DC League of Super Pets film. 112 00:09:52,363 --> 00:09:57,745 And I gotta say it's different from what I thought it was going to be. I was hoping it was going 113 00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:03,446 to be based on the children's book series DC Super Pets that is pretty faithful to the comic 114 00:10:03,466 --> 00:10:08,968 books. This movie however is not. Yeah, it seems like it's not about a super team of pets of 115 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:13,769 the main DC superheroes. It looks like it's a film about these shelter animals that happen 116 00:10:13,809 --> 00:10:18,583 to get powers. So it seems like this isn't like Ace the Bat Hound or the terrific What's It, 117 00:10:18,944 --> 00:10:23,646 they're entirely original characters. Well, I mean, Kevin Hart's character is named Ace 118 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:28,289 in the movie, who's not supposed to have any powers, looks like he has invulnerability. 119 00:10:28,789 --> 00:10:33,511 They have Chip the Squirrel, but he doesn't have Green Lantern powers, he has electricity 120 00:10:33,551 --> 00:10:38,294 powers apparently. The Turtle is the only one that makes sense, because the Turtle's apparently 121 00:10:38,374 --> 00:10:42,896 named Merton, you know, Merton McSnurdle, the Turtle. You know, we talked about him in our 122 00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:47,632 What's It versus Spider-Man episode, Still one of my favorite episodes. I love that guy. But 123 00:10:47,672 --> 00:10:53,996 in the movie he's called Shell on Wheels. Yeah, I guess the pig whose name is PB for pot belly. 124 00:10:54,317 --> 00:10:58,460 It doesn't even look like it's Wonder Woman's pet. Just gives the characters like random 125 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:03,304 names. I don't think those will stick. Do you think by the end of this movie each of these 126 00:11:03,324 --> 00:11:07,767 shelter pets will be adopted by the Justice League? I hope so, honestly. You know, I think 127 00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:12,042 the turtle should be adopted by the Flash. You know, the pig by Wonder Woman. Chip becomes 128 00:11:12,142 --> 00:11:17,544 a Green Lantern. And we get to see Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Cyborg, Batman in this trailer, 129 00:11:17,564 --> 00:11:21,726 which was a huge surprise. They have different costumes. Not really in love with the designs 130 00:11:21,746 --> 00:11:26,228 here, but that's fine. I imagine we won't be seeing too much of them. I like the designs 131 00:11:26,248 --> 00:11:30,930 of the DC characters. You know, they're very like Incredibles-esque. It was cool to hear 132 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:35,412 John Krasinski as Superman. Yeah, I think he sounds pretty good as the character. What did 133 00:11:35,432 --> 00:11:40,314 you think of the rocks depiction of Krypto? It was fine, it was fine. As was Kevin Hart 134 00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:46,239 as Ace and Vanessa Bayer as PB. Diego Luna, I guess, does the voice for Chip, which this 135 00:11:46,279 --> 00:11:51,263 trailer revealed. Mark Maron, apparently, is the voice of Lex Luthor in this film. Oh, interesting. 136 00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:56,067 Yeah. The same guy that was in the Joker movie and who also like was dissing comic book films? 137 00:11:56,468 --> 00:12:02,352 Yes. Okay. He just likes DC. What can I say? But there's a few more cast members that we 138 00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:06,896 still don't know what role they're going to play, like Kate McKinnon, Keanu Reeves, Ben 139 00:12:06,936 --> 00:12:11,291 Schwartz and Jamila Jamil. Maybe there's gonna be like other members of the Justice League 140 00:12:11,311 --> 00:12:16,194 we don't know yet. Maybe one of them is gonna be the cat, Streaky, who has a very different 141 00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:22,737 superpower in this movie. That was weird. Yeah, the tail like shoots out rockets and flames 142 00:12:22,777 --> 00:12:27,560 and stuff. I was like, what? It can't be Streaky. I'm not sure I'm loving like the random power 143 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,882 assignment that a lot of these guys have. Me neither. But you know, it's a movie for kids. 144 00:12:32,022 --> 00:12:36,685 It's supposed to be as whimsical as possible. I think that also explains the jokes, which 145 00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:41,007 I'm also not in love with. A lot of them didn't really land for me. I think felt like the timing 146 00:12:41,047 --> 00:12:46,251 was off. Like when Crypto was talking to that other dog about like the federation of exes, 147 00:12:46,571 --> 00:12:52,815 the dog was like, why it's taking my owner so long? I was like, okay. Yeah, that was horrible 148 00:12:52,835 --> 00:12:57,478 delivery. Yeah. It was a little bit too slow. Also the joke about like, they should call 149 00:12:57,498 --> 00:13:04,042 me Iron Man. Nah. Dude, what is up with DC animation's obsession with Iron Man? Like you get the Iron 150 00:13:04,062 --> 00:13:09,163 Man reference in this movie and in Lego Batman you had the reference with Batman's Batcave 151 00:13:09,203 --> 00:13:15,205 password. Iron Man sucks, what can I say? They're just jealous as hell. They're just jealous. 152 00:13:15,225 --> 00:13:19,886 There was also another Marvel reference in this when Krypto was basically saying with great 153 00:13:19,906 --> 00:13:25,148 power comes great responsibility. Wait, what? He says when one has an abundance of power, 154 00:13:25,428 --> 00:13:30,869 they have a certain duty to use that power. Exactly. Same thing. Sure. Yeah. I don't know. 155 00:13:32,574 --> 00:13:36,538 I can't quite say I'm looking forward to this movie just yet. Well, I'm guessing this is 156 00:13:36,558 --> 00:13:40,261 going to be an origin story where we see these characters evolve into the team you know and 157 00:13:40,301 --> 00:13:44,826 love, just maybe with different powers. Maybe. Maybe I need another trailer or two, which 158 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:49,591 we'll probably get. The movie doesn't come out until May of next year, so we have some time. 159 00:13:50,031 --> 00:13:51,713 But this all brings us to our question of the week. 160 00:13:56,302 --> 00:14:01,904 Who is your favorite DC or Marvel animal hero and why? There's a lot of them to choose from, 161 00:14:02,064 --> 00:14:06,966 both on DC and Marvel, but let us know which one you like the most. Yeah, record your answer 162 00:14:07,006 --> 00:14:11,808 at dynamicduel.com by clicking on the red microphone button in the bottom right hand corner, which 163 00:14:11,828 --> 00:14:16,010 will prompt you to leave us a voicemail. Your message could be up to 30 seconds long, and 164 00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:20,432 don't forget to leave your name in case we include you on the podcast. We'll pick our favorite 165 00:14:20,512 --> 00:14:25,574 answer and draw that person a dynamic duel no prize that we'll post to social media. Be sure 166 00:14:25,594 --> 00:14:30,096 to answer before December 4th. But I think that does it for all the news for this episode, 167 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:36,578 so let's go ahead and hear from our sponsor, HBO Max. Bruce Wayne may appear to be a wealthy 168 00:14:36,598 --> 00:14:42,581 playboy, but beneath his facade his true identity is that of the Batman, waging an endless war 169 00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:48,743 against crime. Join the Caped Crusader in Batman, the Audio Adventures, the first scripted audio 170 00:14:48,803 --> 00:14:54,082 original featuring Batman and his villainous rogues gallery in a world premiere story. of 171 00:14:54,182 --> 00:15:01,726 life and death in Gotham City, debuting exclusively on HBO Max. Starring Jeffrey Wright as Batman 172 00:15:01,806 --> 00:15:06,268 and a who's who of Incredible Saturday Night Live alums, this rollicking adventure, told 173 00:15:06,308 --> 00:15:12,692 across 10 episodes, is written and directed by Emmy winner Denis McNicholas, includes devilishly 174 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:18,915 delightful original music by Doug Bossie, and performances by Rosario Dawson, John Leguizamo, 175 00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:25,663 Chris Parnell, Melissa Villaseñor, Seth Meyers, Jason Sudeikis, Brooke Shields, Fred Armisen, 176 00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:32,227 and many, many more. Go to hbomax.com slash Batman Audio Adventures for more and stream 177 00:15:32,287 --> 00:15:40,218 Batman the Audio Adventures only on HBO Max. Thanks to HBO Max for sponsoring this episode. 178 00:15:40,378 --> 00:15:43,806 But now let's get into the main event of this episode where we find out who would win in 179 00:15:43,846 --> 00:15:49,137 a fight between the Wonder Twins' pet monkey, Gleek, and Deadpool's rival, Pit Monkey. 180 00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:10,010 Okay, Gleek versus Hitmonkey. This matchup was actually a fairly last minute decision. You 181 00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:16,235 could tell because this year we didn't commission an artist to do artwork for this episode because 182 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:21,840 it was so last minute. Yeah, but we were inspired by one of our patrons on our Discord who asked 183 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:27,145 us who would be good in a matchup against Hitmonkey since that character now has his own television 184 00:16:27,165 --> 00:16:31,388 show currently on Hulu, which is actually pretty good. I've been watching it. Yeah, they both 185 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,615 have their own cartoons. It's pretty awesome. And Jonathan and I have been trying to get 186 00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:38,518 Gleek in a matchup for the longest time. We thought he might be good in a fight against 187 00:16:38,658 --> 00:16:43,242 Spider Ham, but eventually we went with the terrific What's It for that matchup. I think 188 00:16:43,262 --> 00:16:48,547 when you have an alien monkey who can stretch his tail infinitely long against a monkey who's 189 00:16:48,587 --> 00:16:52,750 really good with guns, you have a pretty solid matchup there, right? Yeah. I have no idea 190 00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:56,513 who's going to come out on top. I just know it's going to be fun. Again, this is our charity 191 00:16:56,553 --> 00:17:01,698 matchup as we do every year. So if you feel inclined to give this holiday season, Again, 192 00:17:01,718 --> 00:17:06,380 visit us on Facebook and donate to the HealthWell Foundation, which is a nonprofit dedicated 193 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,483 to helping America pay their health bills. So let's get into it. If you've never listened 194 00:17:10,503 --> 00:17:14,725 to one of our dual episodes before, the way we determine a winner between these two characters 195 00:17:15,045 --> 00:17:21,168 is by running 1000 Monte Carlo simulations using their statistics. Now a Monte Carlo simulation 196 00:17:21,489 --> 00:17:27,292 is a probabilistic model used to determine outcomes through random sampling. In our case, it randomizes 197 00:17:27,332 --> 00:17:31,950 statistics along a normal distribution, which is a bell curve. as a way to simulate the many 198 00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:36,671 variables that can occur during battle. The stat parameters we use are based on the official 199 00:17:36,691 --> 00:17:41,853 Marvel power grid, and we use that criteria to extrapolate the DC character's stats. We've 200 00:17:41,873 --> 00:17:47,334 included some additional stat categories of our own, such as range, damage potential, versatility, 201 00:17:47,394 --> 00:17:53,516 and perception, in order to create a more complete and robust simulation. Running these 1000 simulations 202 00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:58,537 gives us a percentage of wins for each character, and we declare the one with the higher percentage 203 00:17:58,597 --> 00:18:03,143 to be the ultimate victor. considering that they're more likely to win any given battle. 204 00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:08,745 No character ever wins 100% of the time. Comics have shown that there's always a way for Batman 205 00:18:08,765 --> 00:18:13,267 to defeat Superman. We feel our method falls in line with the precedents that have been 206 00:18:13,307 --> 00:18:18,389 established in the comic book stories. And we use this method because it was the least subjective, 207 00:18:18,489 --> 00:18:23,311 most unbiased way to determine who would win. Of course, we are both heavily biased toward 208 00:18:23,331 --> 00:18:27,893 our respective allegiances, so instead of debating these matches forever, we just let the math 209 00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:33,773 decide for us. So there's no fan votes here and no relying on just feats. Before we run 210 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:38,516 these simulations though, we like to break down each character's histories and abilities before 211 00:18:38,616 --> 00:18:43,860 improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the 1,000 simulations we run would play 212 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:48,763 out beat for beat. And I think it's my turn to go first with the Marvel character, so let 213 00:18:48,783 --> 00:18:54,167 me go ahead and tell you all about the comic book backstory of Hitmonkey. So much is steeped 214 00:18:54,227 --> 00:18:59,786 in legend surrounding the origins of the assassin known as Hitmonkey. The tale regarding this 215 00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:05,329 mysterious killer of killers is said to begin in the snowy mountains of Japan, where an unnamed 216 00:19:05,369 --> 00:19:11,593 assassin fled after being double-crossed in a failed political coup. In the freezing wilderness, 217 00:19:11,793 --> 00:19:17,557 the lost and injured man was discovered by a group of Japanese macaques. The primates took 218 00:19:17,597 --> 00:19:22,139 the assassin to their hot springs and nursed him back to health with their herbal remedies. 219 00:19:22,679 --> 00:19:27,550 Though the macaques were willing to accept the man into their monkey clan, One skeptical monkey 220 00:19:27,610 --> 00:19:33,151 didn't trust the outsider and watched him closely. This monkey observed as the assassin healed 221 00:19:33,191 --> 00:19:38,073 from his wounds and prepared for revenge against those who betrayed him by honing his skills 222 00:19:38,193 --> 00:19:43,014 in the snowy mountains. The monkey watched and learned as the man demonstrated his various 223 00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:48,656 lethal maneuvers in hand-to-hand and weapons combat. And he watched how easy killing was 224 00:19:48,736 --> 00:19:54,297 for the outsider. The monkey tried to warn his clan that harboring the assassin was only going 225 00:19:54,317 --> 00:19:58,748 to bring more violence their way. When the clan rejected this notion, the monkey accidentally 226 00:19:58,968 --> 00:20:03,271 injured one of his fellow primates during his effort to convince them of the oncoming danger. 227 00:20:03,772 --> 00:20:08,816 This monkey was cast out of his clan and into the wilderness on his own. Several days into 228 00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:13,720 his exile, he noticed a group of soldiers headed up the mountains toward his former home, and 229 00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:19,064 he rushed back to the hot springs to warn his fellow primates. The monkey was too late, however, 230 00:20:19,304 --> 00:20:24,148 as he arrived only in time to witness the soldiers gun down the assassin and all of his macaque 231 00:20:24,168 --> 00:20:29,956 family. The Monkey picked up the weapons of the Assassin and used the skills he learned 232 00:20:30,016 --> 00:20:35,399 from observing him to shoot and kill the soldiers there that murdered his clan. At that moment, 233 00:20:35,679 --> 00:20:41,222 he became Hitmonkey. The spirit of the Outsider Assassin appeared before Hitmonkey and told 234 00:20:41,262 --> 00:20:46,225 him how the soldiers were sent by a politician named Hideki Hayashi, who in turn worked for 235 00:20:46,365 --> 00:20:51,508 General Kato. The spirit told Hitmonkey that by killing these men, he would achieve vengeance 236 00:20:51,548 --> 00:20:56,546 not only for his dead Monkey brethren, but also for the Assassin himself. Hitmonkey traveled 237 00:20:56,586 --> 00:21:01,729 to Tokyo and, under the assassin's guidance, stole a truck and crashed it into Hayashi's 238 00:21:01,769 --> 00:21:06,772 limo. Barely clinging to life, the politician was sent to the hospital where he was smothered 239 00:21:06,852 --> 00:21:12,515 by the assassin Bullseye, who was hired by General Kato to cover his tracks. The following day, 240 00:21:12,635 --> 00:21:17,697 Hitmonkey snuck into General Kato's daughter's wedding and stole the suit from the child ring 241 00:21:17,737 --> 00:21:22,800 bearer, pretending to be part of the ceremony to get in close. He managed to decapitate General 242 00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:28,000 Kato despite Bullseye's efforts to stop causing Bullseye to kill the rest of Kato's men to 243 00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:34,085 avoid the humiliation of being bested by a primate. Bullseye found and hurled a knife at Hitmonkey, 244 00:21:34,365 --> 00:21:38,709 though the blade was intercepted by the ring bearer child, who annoyingly stepped in the 245 00:21:38,749 --> 00:21:44,474 way. From then on, Hitmonkey, having achieved his own vengeance, vowed to seek revenge for 246 00:21:44,494 --> 00:21:49,938 those innocents whose blood had been spilled, and he became a killer of killers. He fell 247 00:21:49,978 --> 00:21:55,500 into urban legend, believed only by the very few who had ever seen him in action, and disregarded 248 00:21:55,560 --> 00:22:01,843 as a joke by everyone else. Spider-Man was one such non-believer who refused to buy Deadpool's 249 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:06,845 story about the legendary hit monkey who was targeting him. Spider-Man then witnessed the 250 00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:12,108 merciless primate bust in, and like a furry blur, filled Deadpool full of lead. What? To 251 00:22:12,148 --> 00:22:17,170 get back at the monkey, Deadpool stole Spider-Man's spare costume, and pretended that Spider-Man 252 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:22,614 was a victim of collateral damage from Hitmonkey's attack. A funeral was held for the wall-crawler, 253 00:22:22,914 --> 00:22:28,758 which Hitmonkey attended out of remorse, believing he had accidentally killed Spidey. As the primate 254 00:22:28,798 --> 00:22:33,781 approached the casket to pay his respects, Deadpool burst out and tried to gun down the monkey, 255 00:22:34,241 --> 00:22:39,264 but Spider-Man swung in and stopped their fight, leading to Hitmonkey's escape and to the long-lasting 256 00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:44,504 rivalry between the two murderers. Eventually, however, Deadpool and Hitmonkey talked it out, 257 00:22:44,744 --> 00:22:49,428 and Hitmonkey turned over a new leaf, joining SHIELD's howling commando subdivision that 258 00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:54,592 dealt with supernatural threats. Hitmonkey later joined Deadpool and Domino's mercenary team 259 00:22:54,632 --> 00:22:59,296 called the Mercs for Money, though the primate's mission was to monitor the team on behalf of 260 00:22:59,356 --> 00:23:04,840 SHIELD. At one point, Deadpool inadvertently assisted the evil organization HYDRA during 261 00:23:04,921 --> 00:23:09,784 its takeover of the United States, and he put a 20 million dollar bounty on his own head 262 00:23:10,085 --> 00:23:15,989 as a means of Punishment. Hitmonkey was brought in alongside other heroes to help put a stop 263 00:23:16,029 --> 00:23:21,333 to the resulting chaos caused by villains out to collect Deadpool's head. And that's Hitmonkey's 264 00:23:21,373 --> 00:23:26,876 backstory so far. Now, he has no powers to speak of, save for his simian physiology that makes 265 00:23:26,896 --> 00:23:32,480 him stronger and faster than your average human. He has opposable thumbs on his hands and feet, 266 00:23:32,580 --> 00:23:38,244 allowing him to wield weapons such as guns and swords with extreme dexterity no matter which 267 00:23:38,364 --> 00:23:44,232 limb he uses. This ability, combined with his mastery of martial arts and marksmanship skills, 268 00:23:44,512 --> 00:23:50,216 make him an unpredictable and dangerous killer. He carries two handguns and often uses a samurai 269 00:23:50,256 --> 00:23:54,980 sword in battle. Occasionally, Hitmonkey has been known to commune with the spirit of the 270 00:23:55,020 --> 00:24:00,343 deceased assassin that instructed him in how to kill. And that's Hitmonkey. So he's like 271 00:24:00,583 --> 00:24:05,547 a small version of John Wick. Exactly, that is a fantastic way to put it. He's a small 272 00:24:05,587 --> 00:24:10,966 version of John Wick if John Wick couldn't speak any human language. and also had thumbs on 273 00:24:11,006 --> 00:24:15,327 his feet, even though Hitmonkey would annihilate John Wick because he's just that little bit 274 00:24:15,367 --> 00:24:19,948 better. This actually makes me like really interested in the cartoon. I haven't started watching 275 00:24:20,028 --> 00:24:23,929 it yet, but that sounded like a lot of fun. Not going to lie. And honestly, now that I 276 00:24:23,949 --> 00:24:28,711 have covid, like I have all day to watch it. You know, I don't know any Marvel fans that 277 00:24:28,751 --> 00:24:33,852 have caught covid. It's only DC fans that I know of. What? Yeah. Wow. Interesting, huh? 278 00:24:34,132 --> 00:24:39,618 DC must stand for like Delta covid. I'm going to go cough in your face. I think that's illegal, 279 00:24:39,658 --> 00:24:45,181 isn't it? Yeah. Okay, nevermind. Go ahead, I'll sue your ass. Well, you know what else I've 280 00:24:45,201 --> 00:24:50,824 been watching on TV this past week? Super Friends as research for this episode. And I gotta say, 281 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:55,747 I love those classic Justice League cartoons. They're great. How big is Gleek's role in the 282 00:24:55,767 --> 00:25:00,590 Super Friends cartoon? It depends on episode to episode. They're all kind of like anthological 283 00:25:00,630 --> 00:25:05,332 in a way. But he is one of the recurring characters. He's in almost like every episode. Since we 284 00:25:05,372 --> 00:25:10,063 began doing these charity animal duels. I would say all of the DC characters have been pretty 285 00:25:10,244 --> 00:25:15,328 obscure. Gleek is probably the least obscure character I've done since he was a regular 286 00:25:15,468 --> 00:25:20,492 on the Super Friends cartoon, but he also has, I would say, the least amount of incontinuity 287 00:25:20,552 --> 00:25:26,157 backstory for a character I've ever written about. Like all in all, he's had around 20 288 00:25:26,277 --> 00:25:32,283 issues of canonical appearances, with the vast majority of them being minor cameos. Gleek 289 00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:37,747 and his Wonder Twin owners first appeared in 1977. during the Hanna-Barbera animated series, 290 00:25:37,947 --> 00:25:43,771 The All-New Super Friends Hour, which was a spin-off of 1973's Super Friends. The Super 291 00:25:43,811 --> 00:25:50,135 Friends have had a total of six spin-off series that lasted until 1986, and of all the series, 292 00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:56,340 Gleek and his Wonder Twin owners appeared regularly in five of them. The All-New Super Friends 293 00:25:56,380 --> 00:26:02,664 Hour series also notably introduced a more diverse cast of new characters in Black Vulcan, Apache 294 00:26:02,684 --> 00:26:08,763 Chief, Samurai, and El Dorado. As I mentioned in our Wonder Twins vs Cloak and Dagger episode, 295 00:26:09,203 --> 00:26:14,865 the Wonder Twins and Gleek supplanted the powerless characters of Wendy, Marvin, and their Wonder 296 00:26:14,905 --> 00:26:19,427 Dog from the original Super Friends series as the young audience surrogates on the show, 297 00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:25,389 as Gleek and the twins were able to take a more active part in the stories since they had superpowers. 298 00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:31,332 Gleek, like the Wonder Twins Xan and Jaina, was from the planet Exor, where, according 299 00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:37,823 to the Super Friends show, many monkeys existed just like him. In fact, in one episode, they 300 00:26:37,924 --> 00:26:43,048 all visited Earth in spaceships in an attempt to take over the planet because X-Or doesn't 301 00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:48,153 have bananas. They had been monitoring Gleek for some time and sought from him information 302 00:26:48,213 --> 00:26:53,297 on how to destroy the Super Friends. Bombarded by a banana brain blaster, Gleek was forced 303 00:26:53,377 --> 00:26:58,402 to reveal the team's secrets and nearly succeeded in destroying Superman, Batman, and Wonder 304 00:26:58,442 --> 00:27:03,859 Woman with a disintegrator ray, but was stopped by Jan and Xana, after they broke free from 305 00:27:03,899 --> 00:27:10,304 the clutches of a giant Gleek robot. Jaina immediately transformed into an electric eel and zapped 306 00:27:10,344 --> 00:27:15,088 Gleek free from his mind control. Once the Water Twins and Gleek rescued the Justice League, 307 00:27:15,248 --> 00:27:20,873 the Exorian Monkeys were returned to their ships and escorted back to the planet Exor. The episode 308 00:27:20,973 --> 00:27:26,718 ended, as most Super France episodes did, with a gag from Gleek, who this time confused a 309 00:27:26,758 --> 00:27:33,018 banana blaster for an edible banana, zapping himself silly. In the non-canonical Super Friends 310 00:27:33,038 --> 00:27:38,681 comic, it was revealed that members of Gleek's species are known as Elastomunks. Gleek was 311 00:27:38,761 --> 00:27:44,104 first owned by an Exorian clown named Illic, who trained him as part of a traveling intergalactic 312 00:27:44,144 --> 00:27:49,267 circus from Exor. Illic was a good man who helped educate the Wonder Twins when they were brought 313 00:27:49,347 --> 00:27:54,310 on as part of the show. Gleek took a liking to the twins and escaped the circus with them 314 00:27:54,390 --> 00:27:58,392 when they found out they weren't getting paid for their performances. After their escape, 315 00:27:58,592 --> 00:28:03,807 the twins discovered on a nearby planet that the Superman villain, Grax, was going to attack 316 00:28:03,927 --> 00:28:09,090 Earth, and Gleek traveled with the twins to Earth in order to warn the Super Friends, and 317 00:28:09,110 --> 00:28:14,033 they stayed on the planet in order to learn to use their powers as superheroes. After the 318 00:28:14,053 --> 00:28:19,297 Super Friends cartoon and comic ended, the Wonder Twins would enter mainstream DC continuity 319 00:28:19,397 --> 00:28:25,600 in the mid-90s in the title, Extreme Justice. But Gleek, unfortunately, did not appear with 320 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:30,583 them. He did appear, however, in the line of children's books based on the DC superpets 321 00:28:30,903 --> 00:28:36,126 where he helped Beppo the super monkey defeat Gorilla Grodd when the circus came to Metropolis. 322 00:28:36,626 --> 00:28:42,810 It wasn't until 2019 that Gleek made his official DC comics debut in a 12 issue Wonder Twins 323 00:28:42,890 --> 00:28:48,973 miniseries. In this post-Flashpoint continuity it was established that Xan and Jaina weren't 324 00:28:49,113 --> 00:28:55,077 circus performers but the grandchildren of Exor's equivalent of Hitler. Their father sent them 325 00:28:55,117 --> 00:28:59,390 to earth with Superman, so that they wouldn't have to suffer the shame and sense of their 326 00:28:59,410 --> 00:29:04,892 grandfather. While on Earth, Zand bought Gleek through a magazine ad that some circus performers 327 00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:10,433 put together in order to save Gleek from his abusive circus environment. Gleek's circus 328 00:29:10,473 --> 00:29:15,795 was run by a supervillain known as the Ringmaster, who would force Gleek to ride a tiny bicycle 329 00:29:15,875 --> 00:29:22,437 through flaming hoops and other hazards. Because of the kindness Zand showed Gleek, he single-handedly 330 00:29:22,517 --> 00:29:27,234 rescued the twins when they were captured by the League of Annoyance. a small-time cadre 331 00:29:27,274 --> 00:29:33,677 of villains organized by Lex Luthor to cultivate sporadic chaos around Washington, D.C. Later, 332 00:29:33,777 --> 00:29:37,619 when the League of Annoyance tried to get a Phantom Zone projector from the Wonder Twins, 333 00:29:37,979 --> 00:29:43,241 their recent recruit, Ringmaster, succeeded in ring-tossing the twins into another trap, 334 00:29:43,481 --> 00:29:48,264 only for Gleek to emerge from Zan's backpack and start punching out his former abusive owner, 335 00:29:48,384 --> 00:29:53,988 Ringmaster. Gleek was tased by cell phone Sylvia during the pummeling. but the distraction worked, 336 00:29:54,308 --> 00:29:59,250 and the Wonder Twins were able to send the bad guys to the Phantom Zone. Most recently, Gleek 337 00:29:59,270 --> 00:30:04,453 and the twins were seen helping Young Justice bring down rogue scientists within Star Labs, 338 00:30:04,593 --> 00:30:09,375 and became official members of that team by its conclusion. Powers-wise, Gleek has the 339 00:30:09,395 --> 00:30:14,917 physiology of an Exorian Elastomonk, granting him his blue-furred appearance and prehensile 340 00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:19,800 tail that he's able to extend to any length, with a tensile strength that allows him to 341 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:24,582 lift up to a quarter ton. He's also smarter than your average Earth Monkey, capable of 342 00:30:24,642 --> 00:30:31,944 understanding human speech, average human, often to humorous effect. Well, same thing with Hitmonkey. 343 00:30:32,144 --> 00:30:36,425 While he can understand humans, he's not as smart as them. But Gleek is also clever by 344 00:30:36,485 --> 00:30:41,467 nature, capable of hiding empty buckets and bananas and drawing them out from seemingly 345 00:30:41,587 --> 00:30:48,108 nowhere at will. His ass? We'll never know, but probably. Not gonna lie. He has that infinitely 346 00:30:48,148 --> 00:30:54,089 stretchable tail, but also probably an infinite stretchable colon, is my guess. And that's 347 00:30:54,129 --> 00:30:59,213 Gleek. This will be pretty good, it kind of reminds me of like Mr. Fantastic vs. The Punisher 348 00:30:59,253 --> 00:31:03,397 or something like that. But now that we got these monkeys' histories and abilities out 349 00:31:03,437 --> 00:31:08,601 of the way, let's speculate on how one of the 1000 simulated matches will go. The winner 350 00:31:08,641 --> 00:31:13,265 is determined by simulations, not the speculation, but it's fun to imagine how this fight could 351 00:31:13,285 --> 00:31:17,429 play out. Now we don't set any rules for this match other than the characters don't know 352 00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:21,933 anything about each other going in. Except that the other character is a threat that needs 353 00:31:21,953 --> 00:31:26,873 to be put down. We say that they start off about 50 meters apart in an environment that has 354 00:31:26,993 --> 00:31:31,456 no bearing on the match itself because we don't take stats for the environment. Plus, certain 355 00:31:31,496 --> 00:31:35,620 characters have advantages in some environments over others, and we want these characters to 356 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:40,343 win on their own merit. So let's get into it. Gleek and Hitmonkey meet on the battlefield. 357 00:31:40,724 --> 00:31:44,867 Who goes first? Okay, I'm gonna say Hitmonkey goes first because he's kind of like this little 358 00:31:44,987 --> 00:31:50,352 ball of fury. Okay? So he's gonna start off by reaching into his suit jacket, and with 359 00:31:50,492 --> 00:31:54,758 one hand, he's gonna pull out his cool shades. and put him on, and with the other hand, he's 360 00:31:54,778 --> 00:31:59,840 gonna pull out a fucking Glock 19. And he's gonna point it right at Gleek, like badass 361 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:05,242 sideways gangster style, and he's just gonna start unloading rounds. Okay, once Gleek sees 362 00:32:05,283 --> 00:32:10,805 the gun, he's gonna be like, wow! He's gonna use his tail to like spring away as Hitmonkey 363 00:32:10,825 --> 00:32:16,127 is shooting. And while Hitmonkey is like focusing on hitting center mass as Gleek is just like 364 00:32:16,167 --> 00:32:21,349 bouncing around like a pinball, Gleek is going to stretch out his tail and just whip the gun 365 00:32:21,409 --> 00:32:25,338 right out of Hitmonkey's hand. Well that pisses Hitmonkey off, you know, he's gonna screech 366 00:32:25,658 --> 00:32:31,260 in frustration and then he's gonna charge Gleek on all fours with his monkey speed and he's 367 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:36,181 gonna leap through the air and he's gonna do this flying kick that, well, I guess, is it 368 00:32:36,201 --> 00:32:41,403 a kick or is it a punch? Right, yeah, with the monkey it's probably always a punch But it's 369 00:32:41,423 --> 00:32:46,464 gonna connect and hit Gleek right in his dome piece Okay, okay so Gleek probably drops to 370 00:32:46,484 --> 00:32:50,485 the floor and he's gonna retract his tail but when he gets up to his feet he's gonna put 371 00:32:50,505 --> 00:32:58,275 his arms up like a boxer and start hopping back and forth like, wah-wah-wah-wah, wah- 372 00:33:18,902 --> 00:33:23,384 I'm trying to add insult to injury. That's gonna infuriate Hitmonkey. So he's gonna screech 373 00:33:23,424 --> 00:33:28,287 again, and he's gonna reach toward his back and ensheath the samurai sword that he has. 374 00:33:28,647 --> 00:33:32,629 What? And he's gonna spin it around, and he's gonna swing it at Gleek and just slice off 375 00:33:32,669 --> 00:33:37,972 his tail. How does Hitmonkey have a samurai sword small enough for his body? You know, 376 00:33:37,992 --> 00:33:42,074 it's one of those short swords. Oh, like the, what is it called, the Shoto? Yeah, sure. One 377 00:33:42,094 --> 00:33:49,602 of the, okay. Okay, that's dumb. So Gleek, he's gonna yell. and run away. And I'm sure Hitmonkey 378 00:33:49,622 --> 00:33:54,784 is gonna be chasing after him, just swinging that sword around wildly. But Gleek, he's gonna 379 00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:59,366 conjure a banana, all right? And he's gonna peel it, eat the banana, then throw the peel 380 00:33:59,386 --> 00:34:05,569 behind him, causing Hitmonkey to slip and drop his sword, which Gleek grabs with this still 381 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,611 functional stretchy tail, even though it's been cut, he can still stretch it. And he's gonna 382 00:34:09,631 --> 00:34:14,874 start swinging that around like crazy. So Gleek is still able to stretch his tail, even though 383 00:34:15,134 --> 00:34:20,276 it's been cut. Yeah, essentially you did nothing by cutting it. Gleek is, you know, trying to 384 00:34:20,356 --> 00:34:25,459 swipe at Hitmonkey with his katana sword, but Hitmonkey is agile, you know, he dodges these 385 00:34:25,499 --> 00:34:31,462 slashes and he runs around Gleek, and by running around him, Hitmonkey causes Gleek to wrap 386 00:34:31,482 --> 00:34:37,304 himself up with his own tail and drop the sword. Then with Gleek all wrapped up, Hitmonkey's 387 00:34:37,324 --> 00:34:42,475 just gonna punch him right in his face. And that's gonna send Gleek flying back, but Hitmonkey's 388 00:34:42,515 --> 00:34:47,977 gonna grab his tail and just yo-yo him back. What? Causing him to come winding back up and 389 00:34:48,017 --> 00:34:52,059 then get hit again. And Hitmonkey just keeps doing this. That's a pretty good move. You 390 00:34:52,079 --> 00:34:56,921 know, Gleek, he's probably dizzy and seeing stars, but he's just gonna shake it off. Since 391 00:34:56,941 --> 00:35:01,263 Hitmonkey is holding onto his tail, Gleek is just gonna loop his tail around Hitmonkey's 392 00:35:01,343 --> 00:35:04,964 wrist, and he's just gonna lift him into the air and start slamming him into the ground 393 00:35:05,004 --> 00:35:12,845 repeatedly, like, bam bam! Well, after getting slammed a few times, I'm gonna say that Hitmonkey 394 00:35:12,965 --> 00:35:18,509 reaches into his suit with his feet. And he's gonna pull out another Glock. And then before 395 00:35:18,549 --> 00:35:23,793 Gleek can slam him again, he shoots that blue monkey right through one of his eyes. Dang! 396 00:35:23,853 --> 00:35:31,315 Why? Jeez. No, I mean, that would kill Gleek. I'm gonna say that once Gleek sees the gun, 397 00:35:31,696 --> 00:35:36,179 he's gonna pull out his trusty metal pail and put it over his head like a helmet, blocking 398 00:35:36,219 --> 00:35:36,660 the bullet. 399 00:35:40,054 --> 00:35:45,878 That pale, he uses that to carry Xan, right? Yeah, whenever he's like in a water form. Okay, 400 00:35:45,898 --> 00:35:51,082 so this metal pale blocks the bullet from killing him, but Gleek is gonna be rattled by this, 401 00:35:51,162 --> 00:35:55,626 you know? And therefore he's gonna let go of Hitmonkey with his tail. So Hitmonkey falls 402 00:35:55,646 --> 00:36:00,810 to the ground, probably drops his gun, but when Gleek removes his metal pale helmet, he's gonna 403 00:36:00,850 --> 00:36:05,034 see like multiple Hitmonkeys like vibrating around just because he was so rattled. And 404 00:36:05,054 --> 00:36:12,174 in addition to seeing multiple Hitmonkeys, he also sees multiple brown gooey masses flying 405 00:36:12,235 --> 00:36:18,457 at his face. What? Yeah, that's right. Hitmonkey just threw some feces, and it blinds Gleek, 406 00:36:18,538 --> 00:36:23,640 hits him right in the eye. I had a feeling this was gonna turn into a shit show. Ha ha ha. 407 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:30,183 And when Gleek wipes the monkey poo away from his face, he sees nothing. Hitmonkey has vanished 408 00:36:30,243 --> 00:36:35,906 from the battlefield. He's gone? Yeah, like Batman. He's stealthy like that. Okay. Gleeky, 409 00:36:35,946 --> 00:36:39,968 you know, he's probably gonna be clutching his pale helmet and just like looking around for 410 00:36:40,168 --> 00:36:46,872 Hitmonkey. I don't know. Well, Hitmonkey suddenly appears behind Gleek with like this loud screech. 411 00:36:47,232 --> 00:36:54,576 He unleashes a flurry of shit missiles that just pelt Gleek to death like being stoned. 412 00:36:54,596 --> 00:36:59,399 Dude, why is this monkey so constipated that his shit is so hard and sharp that it would 413 00:36:59,559 --> 00:37:06,854 kill someone? He had a lot of dairy. Okay. But you said he screeches, so Gleek is gonna hear 414 00:37:06,894 --> 00:37:12,156 that screech, and he's just gonna instantly begin twirling his tail like a fan blade, just 415 00:37:12,196 --> 00:37:20,699 generating a gust that's strong enough to redirect these turd torpedoes back at Hitmonkey, killing 416 00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:28,470 him instead. Hitmonkey's not gonna go down by his own poo, alright? He just did. Wha- Can 417 00:37:28,490 --> 00:37:34,253 we just end it here then? So either Gleek dies from getting pelted to death from Hitmonkey's 418 00:37:34,293 --> 00:37:40,557 poo, or Gleek is able to redirect the turds back at Hitmonkey who dies. I'm fine with that. 419 00:37:40,638 --> 00:37:46,962 I honestly have no idea how you could top poo flinging in a monkey battle. Alright, so let's 420 00:37:46,982 --> 00:37:50,104 go ahead and run these characters through the Monte-Caller simulations and come back with 421 00:37:50,124 --> 00:37:50,384 a winner. 422 00:37:55,082 --> 00:38:01,104 In what other Marvel vs DC matchup can you do a poof linking battle? Besides this one. Yeah, 423 00:38:01,124 --> 00:38:07,787 I don't know. I guess technically you could do it for any battle, but why would you? That's 424 00:38:07,827 --> 00:38:13,830 true. These guys were fairly comparable. I thought that Hitmonkey was absolutely going to have 425 00:38:13,850 --> 00:38:19,452 an advantage due to the fact that he has fucking guns, you know, and he could shoot at Gleek 426 00:38:19,492 --> 00:38:24,976 from a long range. But surprisingly, Gleek has an even longer range than Hitmonkey with his 427 00:38:25,016 --> 00:38:30,160 stretchable tail. Right, right. Also, Gleek is stronger than Hitmonkey because of that 428 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:35,025 same tail. Yeah, yeah, the tail is his strongest weapon. It's his only weapon, and it's no joke. 429 00:38:35,205 --> 00:38:40,349 And it's so versatile too, like able to form a spring to like a helicopter twirl. Yeah, 430 00:38:40,389 --> 00:38:45,714 that's right. But where Gleek couldn't touch Hitmonkey at all was in his martial arts ability. 431 00:38:45,994 --> 00:38:52,627 Hitmonkey is vastly superior in his hand combat. in every other category, these monkeys were 432 00:38:52,647 --> 00:38:57,729 comparable. Considering that, who do you think won this match? I think it's Gleek. I think 433 00:38:57,769 --> 00:39:03,112 his tail is way more special than, you know, a couple of guns and maybe a knife. Though 434 00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:09,336 I have to say, Instagram does not agree with me. 73% of our Instagram followers who voted, 435 00:39:09,696 --> 00:39:15,419 voted in favor of Hitmonkey, which I'm not surprised. Like, how many of them actually watched the 436 00:39:15,439 --> 00:39:19,821 Super Friends cartoon? How many of them actually know about Gleek? I'm gonna assume all of them. 437 00:39:20,158 --> 00:39:24,660 and that they are very smart and well versed. Maybe. Hitmonkey does have a show that is like 438 00:39:24,740 --> 00:39:30,143 on Hulu right now. So I'm sure his popularity factor played a part in why he won this poll. 439 00:39:30,563 --> 00:39:36,226 Well, he won the poll, did he win the matches? I have the results here. Let's find out. The 440 00:39:36,307 --> 00:39:45,812 winner of the duel between Gleek and Hitmonkey is Hitmonkey. Damn it! But it was fairly close. 441 00:39:46,152 --> 00:39:53,236 This was a commendable fight. Hitmonkey won. 534 matches out of the 1000, whereas Gleek 442 00:39:53,297 --> 00:40:01,842 won 466, so that's 53.4% to 46.6. Fairly close, but Hitmonkey is a straight up killer, and 443 00:40:02,003 --> 00:40:07,987 just way more badass than Gleek. I can't even argue with that, honestly. Like Gleek is anything 444 00:40:08,087 --> 00:40:13,230 but badass. He's silly though, he's cute and silly. I am surprised by the results though, 445 00:40:13,451 --> 00:40:19,818 I thought Gleek was gonna just spank that monkey's red ass tail. Oh, we didn't do that in speculation 446 00:40:19,858 --> 00:40:25,301 then. We should have done that. Well, Hitmonkey is just on top of the world now. Not only did 447 00:40:25,341 --> 00:40:29,922 he win this duel against Gleek, he of course has that show on Hulu, which has been doing 448 00:40:29,962 --> 00:40:34,524 really well. It has like a 90 percent audience score on Rotten Tomatoes and an 80 percent 449 00:40:34,564 --> 00:40:38,846 critic score. I'm like five episodes in. It's pretty good. We're going to review that show 450 00:40:38,926 --> 00:40:43,768 in our next episode. So look forward to that. And when it comes to Gleek, I would actually 451 00:40:43,828 --> 00:40:49,835 recommend checking out Adult Swim's parody of the wonder twins? Yeah, they did these wonder 452 00:40:49,875 --> 00:40:56,838 twins shorts based off of like old quote unquote lost footage of their adventures. There's like 453 00:40:56,898 --> 00:41:00,579 five of them. They're hilarious. You could find them on YouTube. But that does it for this 454 00:41:00,619 --> 00:41:05,121 duel. Let us know what you guys thought about the Gleek versus Hitmonkey results by writing 455 00:41:05,161 --> 00:41:10,823 to us at dynamicduelpodcast at gmail.com or by visiting us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. 456 00:41:11,283 --> 00:41:14,565 You can find links to all of our accounts by checking out our show notes or visiting our 457 00:41:14,605 --> 00:41:20,177 website dynamicduel.com. And also don't forget, since this is our charity duel episode, to 458 00:41:20,237 --> 00:41:26,022 check out our Facebook specifically in order to donate to the Healthwell Foundation. Again, 459 00:41:26,162 --> 00:41:31,247 it doesn't matter how much you donate. We were not asking for large amounts. Right. We will 460 00:41:31,287 --> 00:41:36,111 randomly pick two donors when this fundraiser ends on Christmas day and we'll be gifting 461 00:41:36,151 --> 00:41:42,077 them a dynamic duel Marvel vs. DC card game that we created. And remember for the duration 462 00:41:42,117 --> 00:41:46,691 of this fundraiser, all of our archived episodes, every episode that we've done at this podcast 463 00:41:46,711 --> 00:41:51,034 will be available again to the listening public. So if you haven't checked out our back episodes, 464 00:41:51,074 --> 00:41:54,696 go ahead and do that. But that does it for this episode. We want to give a big thanks to our 465 00:41:54,736 --> 00:42:01,079 executive producers, John Spies, Ken Johnson, Jace Crump, John Staroski, Zachary Hepburn, 466 00:42:01,339 --> 00:42:07,303 John Bechinina, Mitchell Phipps, Dustin Belcombe, Salvador Hernandez Contreras Jr., and Levi 467 00:42:07,343 --> 00:42:12,045 Yeaton for helping make this podcast possible. We'll talk to you guys next week. Up up and 468 00:42:12,065 --> 00:42:13,254 away. True believers?