1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,680 This is a DynaMic Network Podcast. The holidays are just a few weeks away and if you haven't started 2 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:12,540 shopping yet, this is your sign. Head to OldGlory.com, the ultimate store for superhero 3 00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:18,820 fans. They've got officially licensed Marvel and DCTs, hoodies and gifts perfect for every hero, 4 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:25,900 sidekick or villain lover on your list. Order now and get 15% off anything when you use the promo code 5 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:32,800 Duel at checkout. That's D-U-E-L. Don't wait until the last minute. Your favorite designs ship 6 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:39,360 fast but they won't last forever. Start your holiday shopping today at OldGlory.com and make 7 00:00:39,360 --> 00:01:06,040 this season heroic. Hi and welcome to the Dynamic Duel Podcast, a weekly show where we review 8 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:10,600 superhero films and debate the superiority between Marvel and DC by comparing their 9 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:17,000 characters in stat based battle simulations. I'm Marvelist Joe and I'm his twin brother Johnny DC. 10 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:23,720 And in this episode we're going to find out who would win in a fight between the new gods from DC and 11 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:32,160 the Eternals from Marvel. And one of our final team duels for this podcast, we knew we wanted to go all 12 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:37,320 out and pit the two most formidable teams against each other. I don't know if the Eternals is 13 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:41,740 Marvel's most formidable team but they are certainly up there. They basically have all the 14 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:47,880 powers. So I could totally see the new gods getting dog walked in this matchup. That is the stupidest 15 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:53,480 thing I've ever heard. No way the new gods are losing this. They are literal gods. And the 16 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:58,100 Eternals were once worshipped as gods. So there you go. Before we get into that matchup though 17 00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:01,700 guys, we're going to break down the latest comic book movie news that came out this past week of 18 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:06,300 which actually were not because there is no news. But as always we list our segment times in our 19 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:10,620 episode description so feel free to check out the show notes if you want to skip ahead to a particular 20 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:16,140 topic. Our artificially intelligent duel simulator AJ9K has a quick message for our 21 00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:23,460 listeners so listen up. Why hello there. Do you want even more from this podcast? Then become a 22 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:28,320 part of the dynamic duel community on Patreon where you can choose from three tiers. The dynamic 23 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:33,540 2.0 tier gives you access to our Discord chat server. The fantastic 4.0 tier gives you two bonus 24 00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:39,300 episodes each month and the X-Force tier makes you an executive producer of this show. Lastly, the 25 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:43,640 Dynamite podcast network tier lets you create your own podcast using this Monte Carlo 26 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:48,080 simulator. Johnny and Joe will help you develop your show, provide graphic support and 27 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:53,060 consultation and get you simulation results. Pitch the twins your ideas via email at 28 00:02:53,060 --> 00:03:00,920 dynamicdualpodcastatgmail.com. Check it out at patreon.com slash dynamicdual. Pip pip cheerio. 29 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:07,420 Thanks AJ9K and thanks to everyone who supports the podcast including Travis Herndon and the 30 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:16,340 Kamacho twins who we are very late in wishing happy birthday. Yeah, if I could give Gilly and Travis a 31 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:23,660 get for Marvel, I would give Gilly Hawkeye set of trick arrows and I would give Travis Mr. Fantastic 32 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:32,040 stretch powers. That is random as fuck. I'm gonna say that since all three of these guys are twins, 33 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:37,860 since you know we have the running joke that Travis Herndon is the twin of Travis Bailey, I'm going to 34 00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:44,200 give all of them the power of the Wonder Twins. Which one? Xan or Jan or whatever her name is. The 35 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:49,500 power to turn into any animal or the power to turn into any water form. Let's see we'll make Scotty 36 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:56,940 Xan, we'll make Gilly Jaina and we'll make Travis Gleek. So still the power of stretching, except he 37 00:03:56,940 --> 00:04:04,900 could just stretch his tail. Yes, it's his tail. Happy birthday guys. Be sure to tune into the other 38 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:09,980 shows and the Dynamite Podcast Network this week including the Console Combat Podcast where hosts 39 00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:15,060 John and Dean simulate battles between popular video game characters. And yesterday's episode, 40 00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:20,959 they celebrated two years of the Console Combat Podcast, which is a huge feat for those guys. 41 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:25,880 Congrats to them. Go ahead and check out their anniversary special. Over on the Max Destruction 42 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:31,120 Podcast hosts Scotty and Gilly, pet your favorite action heroes from film and television against 43 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:36,700 each other. The Macho Twins are returning this week with a Christmas duel right out the gate. Jack 44 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:42,440 Skellington versus The Grinch. And on the Sanjo World Podcast hosts Zachary Hepburn speculates 45 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:47,000 on fights between fan favorite anime and manga characters. In his next episode, Zach is 46 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:53,440 revealing who'd win between Shigyo Kageyama, aka Mob from Mob Psycho 100 and Tatsumaki the tornado 47 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:59,320 of terror from One Punch Man. Visit dynamicpodcasts.com or click the link in our show 48 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:05,120 notes to listen to all of the shows in the Dynamite Podcast Network. But with that out of the way. 49 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:13,000 Quick to the No Prize. A No Prize is an award that Marvel used to give out to fans. Our version, the 50 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:18,280 Dynamic Duel No Prize, is a digital award that we post on Instagram for the person that we feel gave 51 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:23,480 the best answer to our question of the week. Last week, we asked you guys, what was your favorite 52 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:30,960 story within the Batman Deadpool crossover comic and why? And this is coming off of DC publishing the 53 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:36,480 Batman Deadpool crossover comic, of which there were a lot of stories, including, of course, 54 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:42,980 Batman Deadpool. There was Harley Quinn Hulk, Nightwing Wolverine, Miss Marvel and Static and 55 00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:50,160 Dr. Strange and Constantine. We received a grand total of one answer this week from Steve Wozniak, 56 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:58,480 co-founder of Apple. He said. This is the Woz, not Wozniak. Just simply the Woz. And my favorite part 57 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:04,160 of that comic book is simply Batman. Why does Batman rocks? He's actually the only thing in DC 58 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:12,820 that rocks because Marvel is better. Marvel is amazing. And that's all I got to say to that. And 59 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:17,560 Steve Wozniak's right. Batman is better than Marvel. Well, what he actually said was that 60 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:22,760 Marvel was better than all of DC. It was just that Batman was better than anything else DC had. 61 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:29,980 That's not what I heard. Well, clean your fucking ears then. Because the Woz does not lie. So the Woz 62 00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:35,980 gets this week's No Prize. His name is not actually Steve Wozniak. It's Josh Wozmont. That's not what 63 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:41,380 I heard. Congrats, Josh, for winning this week's No Prize. If you, the listener, want a shot at 64 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:45,480 winning your own No Prize, stay tuned to later on this episode when we'll be asking another 65 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:55,420 question of the week. And now that that's done. On to the question of the week. Guys, we have 66 00:06:55,420 --> 00:07:02,080 completed all of the review episodes before the final episode of this podcast in mid January. 67 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:08,320 There's nothing else to review because Wonder Man got pushed back. So with that said, what review of 68 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:14,840 ours, what review episode of Dynamic Duel did you get the most out of? Whether you thought it was 69 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:51,380 funny or insightful or way off base, let us know what stood out to you. But that does it for the 70 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:56,240 upfront portion of this episode. Let's get on to our main event where we find out who would win 71 00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:17,940 between the DC team of the new gods and the Marvel team of the Eternals. All right, the new gods 72 00:08:17,940 --> 00:08:24,820 versus the Eternals. Both of these teams are members of a race of godlike beings. So this will be 73 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:30,840 quite the clash of Titans as we're actually the Eternals who live on Saturn's moon of Titan are 74 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:36,360 called Titans. And that's actually where Thanos is from. He's actually one of the Titans. Of 75 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:42,240 course, the Eternals had their own movie, which sucked. The movie did not suck. It was entirely 76 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:46,920 different from everything else that Marvel had put out. Not in a bad way. I just don't think it was 77 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:51,680 what people were expecting. Being a big fan of the lore of the Eternals, you could definitely listen 78 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:57,880 to our review and hear how I actually enjoyed the film for what it was. Wait, so remind me, is Thanos a 79 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:03,500 robot person like they are? No, well, he's a member of a race of beings that were created by the 80 00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:08,000 Celestials. They're not robots, though. This matchup, though, is probably going to be similar 81 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:14,480 to our Darkseid's elite versus Thanos's Black Order duel that we did a few months ago. Right, 82 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:20,060 because the new gods are essentially the good counterparts to Darkseid's elite, who are also 83 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:26,200 new gods just from Apocalypse, as opposed to New Genesis. There's a lot of lore surrounding both of 84 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:31,380 these teams. Actually, both the new gods and the Eternals are creations of comic book legend Jack 85 00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:39,200 Kirby. I believe Jack Kirby first created the new gods for DC and then kind of carried them on back at 86 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,940 Marvel with the Eternals, who are kind of the spiritual successors of the new gods, I would say. 87 00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:50,420 Right, yeah, Eternals is a Jack Kirby ripoff of a Jack Kirby DC creation. Hey, you can't rip off 88 00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:55,820 yourself. That's fair. Can't wait to get into this duel matchup. First, to explain the methodology 89 00:09:55,820 --> 00:10:01,480 behind our duels, let's go to our sentient duel simulator, Alfred Jarvis 9000. AJ9K, tell our 90 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:07,520 listeners how you go about determining a winner in our duel matchups. Yes, of course, sir. The way I 91 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:12,200 determine a winner between the two teams is by running 1000 Monte Carlo simulations between 92 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:16,900 every character on each team using their statistics. A Monte Carlo simulation is a 93 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:22,100 probabilistic model used to determine outcomes through random sampling. In this case, I 94 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:26,320 randomize the statistics along a normal distribution as a way to simulate the many 95 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:31,300 variables that can occur during battle. The stat parameters are based on the official Marvel power 96 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:36,580 grid from which the DC characters statistics are extrapolated. Additional stat categories are 97 00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:42,100 included such as range, damage potential, versatility and perception in order to create a 98 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:47,460 more detailed and accurate simulation. The results of the 49000 simulations provide a 99 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:52,460 percentage of wins for each character on both teams. The team with the higher average win rate is 100 00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:56,800 declared the victor as they have a higher probability to win any given battle. In an 101 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:02,060 equitable pairing, neither team should win 100% of the matches. The comic book stories have shown 102 00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:06,440 that there's even a way for Batman to defeat Superman, so the confidence rate of my method 103 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,480 falls in line with the precedents that have been established in the source material. My 104 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:15,080 mathematical simulations are without subjectivity or bias. Feats are not the sole 105 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:21,620 consideration, nor are fan votes tabulated for determination of the winner. Thanks AJ and IK. 106 00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:25,540 Before we run the simulations though, we like to break down each team's histories and rosters 107 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:30,900 before improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the thousands of simulations would play out 108 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:36,080 beat for beat. And I believe it's my turn to go first with the Marvel team's backstory. So let me tell 109 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:43,280 you all about the Eternals. About a million years ago, a host of cosmic giants called Celestials 110 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:50,040 visited prehistoric Earth and experimented on early Homo erectus. Their work produced three 111 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:56,900 branches of humanity. The long-lived Eternals, the unstable Deviants and ordinary humans, which 112 00:11:56,900 --> 00:12:02,340 were seated with the potential to become superpowered mutants later in evolution. The 113 00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:07,620 Eternals were engineered to channel immense cosmic energy as custodians of the Celestial's 114 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:13,060 mankind experiment, while the Deviants warped genetics drove them to dominate and terrorize 115 00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:18,540 early humans. As the Eternals multiplied, they built the city of Olympia in the mountains of 116 00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:24,900 Greece. Their power and proximity to the Olympian gods led ancient Greeks to confuse the two races, 117 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:31,260 and some Eternals even impersonated gods as part of a treaty, most notably Azura, whose name was 118 00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:37,460 changed to Athena, so she could serve as the earthly Athena before mortal worshipers. An 119 00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:43,940 ideological rift soon tore the young race of Eternals apart. Uranus, brother of the peaceful 120 00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:50,160 scientist, Chronos, believed the Eternals should conquer Earth. Civil war erupted, Chronos 121 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:56,060 prevailed, and Uranus and his fathers were exiled into space. They founded a colony on the planet 122 00:12:56,060 --> 00:13:02,480 Uranus, where their presence attracted the alien Kree. When a Kree armada destroyed their ship, the 123 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:09,020 survivors crashed on Saturn's moon Titan and created a new colony there. Back on Earth, Chronos 124 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:14,480 continued his experiments with cosmic energy until a catastrophic accident disintegrated his 125 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:20,700 body and permanently awakened his full power. With Chronos, now a disembodied entity, the 126 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:27,160 Eternals merged into a unimined and chose Chronos' son Xurus as the new prime Eternal, while 127 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:34,340 his other son Alars departed the planet to avoid another schism. Alars traveled to Titan and found 128 00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:40,520 the first Eternals colony there devastated with only one survivor named Sui-san. Together, they 129 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:46,180 rebuilt Titan's society under the guidance of the artificial intelligence Isaac. Alars and 130 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:53,600 Sui-san's children would define Titan's future, giving birth to Aros, a carefree adventurer, and 131 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:59,860 Thanos, a mutant Eternal whose deviant-like appearance and obsession with death would one day 132 00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:04,720 lead him to massacre most of Titan's population and to become one of the universe's greatest 133 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:10,260 threats. You can learn more about Thanos in his duel against Darkseid. The survivors of Titan 134 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:16,240 rebuilt the colony yet again and its Eternals repeatedly aided Earth's heroes against Thanos, 135 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:23,060 while Aros, eventually known as Starfox, left Titan to join the Avengers and roam the cosmos as a 136 00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:29,660 hero. Back on Earth, Xurus consolidated Eternal Society in Olympia, near a gateway to the Olympian 137 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:35,400 God's realm. His daughter, Athena, grew into a scholar and warrior, often acting as the God's 138 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:41,180 representative. Over millennia, she became entangled with Crow, a deviant warlord who first 139 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:47,660 spared her life in ancient Babylon. Their long, uneasy romance produced secret twin children, 140 00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:53,160 whom Athena hid inside a human surrogate to be raised as ordinary mortals, even as she continued 141 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:58,560 to command Eternals in battle against deviant armies. Other Eternals similarly wove 142 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:04,460 themselves into human legend. Icarus helped shepherd humans during ancient cataclysms and 143 00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:10,740 later guided a refugee ship to safety in stories remembered as the tale of Noah's Ark. Centuries 144 00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:16,360 later, while fighting deviance in Greece, he married a human woman and fathered his son Icarus. 145 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:22,120 The boy died when Mechanical Wings' father built carried him too high into the atmosphere, and in 146 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:29,020 grief, the Eternal took his son's name. Makari, another Eternal of Olympia, was fascinated by 147 00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:34,760 speed and technology. Under various aliases, he taught writing, carried messages for early 148 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:41,200 civilizations, and inspired myths of swift gods, later operating openly in the 20th century as the 149 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:47,000 speedster Hurricane and then Mercury. Cersei stood apart from her kin by fully embracing 150 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:53,980 humanity. A fourth generation Eternal born in Olympia to Helios and Percy, she delighted in art, 151 00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:58,740 magic, and mortal company, appearing across history as a performer and benefactor in 152 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:04,680 legendary courts and cities. In the modern era, after helping repel a major deviant assault on New 153 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:10,300 York, Cersei lived as a Manhattan socialite, befriending several Avengers and ultimately 154 00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:16,380 joined the team herself, entering a complicated romance with the Black Knight that later tied into 155 00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:21,760 her struggle with an eternal mental illness called Maud Wirie. You can learn more about Cersei 156 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:27,680 in her duel against Firestorm. Humanity's first broad exposure to the Eternals as a people came 157 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:33,420 during the arrival of the Celestial's fourth host. Anticipating their return, Xurus 158 00:16:33,420 --> 00:16:39,980 stationed Icarus in an ancient city in the Peruvian Andes to awaken Ajax, a priestly Eternal 159 00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:46,820 who had chosen to sleep between Celestial visits. With Ajax revived, the Eternals rushed to prepare 160 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:51,780 for the Celestial's descent and clashed with deviant plots to turn humanity against the 161 00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:57,400 towering judges. The Eternals merged into a unimined to augment the Asgardian destroyer 162 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:03,700 armor in a desperate attack that failed to sway the Celestial's. The aftermath, the Celestial's 163 00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:09,980 spared Earth, destroyed the deviant ruling class and left Xurus dead, prompting many Eternals to 164 00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:15,859 depart the planet while a smaller faction remained under Thena and then Icarus. In the 165 00:17:15,859 --> 00:17:22,380 modern age, eternal deviant tensions continued as the Lemurian deviant priest lord Gar sought 166 00:17:22,380 --> 00:17:27,859 Celestial power. Thena, who had once sheltered the deviant gladiators from Lemuria's brutal 167 00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:34,200 culling rituals, found herself torn between Crow and her responsibilities as the new prime Eternal 168 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:40,040 on Earth. The strain left her vulnerable to a mental brain-mind that Crow had implanted in her 169 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:45,600 mind and her increasingly erratic decisions led to Icarus eventually challenging and replacing 170 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:51,420 her as the prime Eternal. As the superhero era unfolded, Cersei, Gilgamesh, and Starfox all 171 00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:56,500 served as Avengers, bringing eternal power directly into Earth's most famous team. 172 00:17:56,500 --> 00:18:01,680 Gilgamesh, long known as the Forgotten One for his earlier interference in human history, briefly 173 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:06,520 fought alongside Earth's heroes before Grievous Injury sent him back to Olympia. During this 174 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:12,020 period, Cersei's mental instability worsened and the Eternals bound her mind to the Black Knight 175 00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:18,780 in a soul bond known as a Ganjosen, untangling their lives until the onslaught crisis scattered 176 00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:23,940 the heroes again. You can learn more about the Black Knight in his duel against Amethyst. The 177 00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:28,800 Eternals' understanding of themselves changed completely when the childlike trickster Eternal 178 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:34,980 called Sprite rebelled against his unending existence. Using stolen Eternal technology and 179 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:40,580 the dormant dreaming celestial deep in the Earth's crust, Sprite rewrote reality so that the 180 00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:46,380 Eternals became ordinary humans with fabricated histories and no knowledge of their true nature. 181 00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:52,840 Makari lived as a medical student, Mark Curry, Cersei as a party planner, Thena as a Stark 182 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:59,600 Enterprise scientist with a husband and young son, Faistos as an engineer in Sweden, and Icarus 183 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:05,720 as the mysterious Ike Harris, who alone remembered fragments of the truth. Their reunion 184 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:11,080 at a European diplomatic party triggered the return of their powers and set them on a path to 185 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:16,500 restore their memories. Icarus reestablished Olympia as their base, while Makari became the 186 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:21,500 chosen communicator for the awakened dreaming celestial. The celestial revealed that every 187 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:27,740 seated world receives 100 Eternals and 100 Deviants and that the Celestials stand ready to 188 00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:33,020 scour a planet if deviant corruption outweighs eternal guidance, forcing the Eternals to 189 00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:37,500 confront not just Deviants but also the Celestials' scouting efforts. As they completed 190 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:42,960 the task of reawakening their scattered kin, the Eternals debated their role toward humanity, 191 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:48,480 whether to rule, protect, or stand apart, and ultimately chose distance, even as individuals 192 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:54,420 like Cersei continued to live among mortals. That uneasy equilibrium shattered when a corrupted, 193 00:19:54,420 --> 00:20:00,820 final host of Dark Celestials descended on Earth. When Iron Man and Doctor Strange saw answers from 194 00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:05,800 the Eternals in the mountains of Greece, they discovered almost all of the Eternals dead by 195 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:11,200 their own hands. Icarus lived long enough to explain that the Eternals had learned a final, 196 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:16,240 devastating truth, that they had never been destined as noble guardians of humanity, but as 197 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:22,380 caretakers meant to defend the Celestial's true interest in the human race. This revelation drove 198 00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:28,180 them into madness and suicide, seemingly ending the Eternals saga on Earth. However, Celestial 199 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:33,060 Resurrection technology eventually restored the Eternals once more, to live in a world that no 200 00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:37,940 longer clearly needed or trusted them. In this new age, they grappled with their manufactured 201 00:20:37,940 --> 00:20:43,280 purpose and renewed threats from Thanos himself, who targeted Earth's Eternals on the principle 202 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:48,560 that only death should be truly eternal. After the Resurrection, the Eternals discovered that each 203 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:54,240 revival by the machine killed a random human, shattering their moral certainty and dividing 204 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:59,820 them between those who wanted to end the system and those who accepted it. Thanos returned, seized 205 00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:05,240 control of the Resurrection machine, unaware that the psychic, Eternal Druig had implanted a 206 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:10,820 failsafe designed to destroy him. Thanos used his brief rule to eliminate rivals until Druig's trap 207 00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:16,320 activated, seemingly killing him and further destabilizing Eternal Society. Druig then 208 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:22,000 claimed leadership as the Primeternal and labeled mutants as excess deviation, launching 209 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:27,920 an assault on the mutant island nation of Krakowa and unleashing the imprisoned warlord Uranus for 210 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:33,900 one hour to devastate Krakowa's counterpart, Arrakko, on Mars. You can learn more about Krakowa 211 00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:40,140 and Arrakko in Krakowa's duel against Danny the Street. The resulting crisis pushed Ajax and 212 00:21:40,140 --> 00:21:45,780 Makari to resurrect the Progenitor Celestial for guidance, but the Progenitor instead judged 213 00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:50,820 Earth unworthy and threatened global destruction. The Progenitors' defeat ended the 214 00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:55,820 conflict but forced the Eternals to confront the cost of their immortality and the devastation 215 00:21:55,820 --> 00:22:01,100 carried out in their name, leaving their people fractured and directionless. That's the 216 00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:06,460 Eternals backstory. For the seven-member roster in this team duel against the new gods, I'm going 217 00:22:06,460 --> 00:22:14,820 with the following seven Eternals. Cersei, Icarus, Thena, Makari, Faistos, Gilgamesh, and 218 00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:20,780 Starfox. All the Eternals have essentially the same power set of immortality, near 219 00:22:20,780 --> 00:22:27,360 invulnerability, flight, increased strength and speed, regenerative healing, telepathy, 220 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:33,000 telekinesis, cosmic energy projection, teleportation, illusion casting, 221 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:38,320 shapeshifting, molecular reconstruction, and matter transmutation. However, through 222 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:45,400 training and discipline, many Eternals hone a specific aspect or specialty of their abilities. 223 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:51,600 Cersei specializes in matter transmutation, Icarus in cosmic energy projection, Thena in 224 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:57,540 weapons and combat, Faistos in engineering, Gilgamesh in strength and durability, and 225 00:22:57,540 --> 00:23:04,220 Starfox in empathokinesis, meaning he can affect the emotions of others. They're all at least 226 00:23:04,220 --> 00:23:09,620 moderately gifted and intellect having lived for thousands of years. And that's the Eternals. To 227 00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:17,080 reiterate my team is Cersei, Icarus, Thena, Makari, Faistos, Gilgamesh, and Starfox. Why did 228 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:25,120 you decide to go with Starfox over Druig? That's a good question. So Druig was in the movie, but I 229 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:30,800 always thought of Thanos' brother Starfox, who actually was also in the Eternals movie in the end 230 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:36,640 credit scene played by Harry Styles. I always thought of him as more of a prominent Eternals 231 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:42,820 character with his ability of empathokinesis. I largely saw Druig's telepathy as unnecessary 232 00:23:42,820 --> 00:23:49,280 because I could get the same effect of quote unquote mind control using Starfox. Gotcha. I do 233 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:54,440 think it's pretty lame that they all essentially have the same powers. That's a pretty impressive 234 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:59,640 power set. I don't think that's lame for me. I think it's, yeah, for sure lame for the new gods because 235 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:04,360 they're going to get their ass beat. Basically the Eternals have all the powers. Sure, a lot of them 236 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:09,780 specialize in some abilities at the expense of other abilities, but you're going to have a real 237 00:24:09,780 --> 00:24:15,620 hard time dealing with the Eternals versatility. Maybe, maybe it won't matter. We'll see. Let me get 238 00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:22,700 into the new gods backstory. Long ago, before time as it is now understood, the cosmos was ruled by a 239 00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:28,960 pantheon of beings known as the Old Gods, who waged a catastrophic war amongst themselves on the 240 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:35,600 world of Urgrund. The conflict culminated in the cataclysmic event known as Ragnarok, which tore 241 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:42,960 Urgrund asunder. From its destruction rose two diametrically opposed worlds, Apocalypse, a 242 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:48,880 smoldering furnace of tyranny and suffering, and New Genesis, a verdant realm of peace and 243 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:55,560 enlightenment. These twin worlds occupied the sphere of the gods and were populated by a new race 244 00:24:55,560 --> 00:25:02,840 of beings, immortal, evolved, and godlike. They called themselves the New Gods. Apocalypse came 245 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:09,660 under the dominion of the malevolent dark side, who ruled with absolute cruelty. New Genesis was 246 00:25:09,660 --> 00:25:15,160 led by the wise warrior, Isiah, who became Highfather after communing with the mysterious 247 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:21,640 cosmic force known as the Source. Highfather transformed the floating city of Supertown into 248 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:27,160 the capital of New Genesis and established a culture built on peace, wisdom, and divine 249 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:32,840 ascension. But tensions between the two worlds escalated into a devastating war after 250 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:39,600 Darkseid's uncle Steppenwolf murdered Isiah's wife, Avaya. In retaliation, Isiah slew 251 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:45,280 Steppenwolf and ignited a war between Apocalypse and New Genesis that threatened to consume the 252 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:54,720 universe. Seeking a temporary end to the violence, the pact between New Genesis and 253 00:25:54,720 --> 00:26:01,280 Apocalypse. Highfather and Darkseid agreed to exchange their sons as wards. Orion, son of 254 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:05,780 Darkseid, was sent to be raised in New Genesis under Highfather's guidance, while 255 00:26:05,780 --> 00:26:12,200 Highfather's own son, later named Scott Free, was consigned to the brutal orphanages of Granny 256 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:18,300 Goodness on Apocalypse. Though the exchange forced an uneasy truce, hostilities resumed when 257 00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:24,100 Darkseid set his sights on Earth, believing its inhabitants collectively held fragments of the 258 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:31,200 elusive anti-life equation, a formula capable of eliminating free will throughout the universe. 259 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:37,160 The renewed war was fought not only across the stars, but also on Earth, where the new gods allied 260 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:43,360 with heroes such as Superman to repel Apocalyptic incursions. In times, Scott Free escaped 261 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:49,720 Apocalypse and returned to New Genesis as the master escape artist Mr. Miracle, joined by a 262 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:55,260 fellow fugitive and formidable warrior, Big Barda. You could learn more about Inher Duel 263 00:26:55,260 --> 00:27:01,740 against Ronan the Accuser. Orion, despite his apocalyptic lineage, embraced the values of New 264 00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:07,640 Genesis and became its fiercest defender, often fighting alongside the radiant warrior, 265 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:13,660 Lightray. You could learn more about Orion and his duel against the Silver Surfer. Both Orion and 266 00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:18,760 Lightray led numerous campaigns against Apocalypse's forces, including brutal battles 267 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:23,940 in the fire pits of Armageddo and the skies above Earth. To bolster their efforts against 268 00:27:23,940 --> 00:27:29,700 Darkseid, Highfather supported the emergence of the Forever People, a team of young new gods 269 00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:35,920 empowered to summon the mighty Infinity Man, who was secretly Drax, Highfather's brother, and the 270 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:41,840 original intended heir to Apocalypse before Darkseid's rise. Even the lower caste of New 271 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:48,320 Genesis, represented by the brave bug warrior Forager, rose to prominence during this time, 272 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:54,040 proving vital in numerous conflicts and bridging the social divide between Supertown and the 273 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:59,300 insect colonies below. Through his wonder staff and communion with the Source, Highfather 274 00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:04,940 presided over battles not just of strength but of cosmic consequence. When Darkseid sought to 275 00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:10,000 breach the Source Wall and harness the Source for himself, Highfather assembled the gods of other 276 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:16,840 Pantheons, including Zeus and Odin, to form a composite being known as the One. Together they 277 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:22,580 entered the Source to stop cosmic collapse caused by the God Wave, a universal surge of divine 278 00:28:22,580 --> 00:28:28,440 energy. Highfather perished in the effort, sacrificing himself to protect reality, though 279 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:34,220 his essence remained one with the Source. After Highfather's death, his mantle was offered to his 280 00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:41,920 son, Scott Free, who declined the role, leading it to pass instead to Tachyon, a human imbued with 281 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:48,620 Source energy to guide New Genesis. Even in death, Highfather continued to appear to others as part 282 00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:54,320 of the cosmic quintessence, overseeing events that threatened reality. The New Gods suffered 283 00:28:54,320 --> 00:29:00,780 their darkest hour when the sentient Source turned against its creations, determined to 284 00:29:00,780 --> 00:29:06,720 usher in a more perfect fifth world The source employed the Infinity Man to eliminate the flawed 285 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:13,360 gods of the fourth world. One by one, the new gods fell, until only Darkseid and his son Orion 286 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:20,120 remain. In the final conflict, Orion tore out his father's heart, delivering justice in the name of 287 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:26,620 the fallen. The source merged Apocalypse and New Genesis into a single world, signaling the end of 288 00:29:26,620 --> 00:29:31,400 the fourth world. In the wake of their destruction, the new gods were reborn in the realm 289 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:39,200 of Earth 5.1, reconstructed by the monitor Nix Uhtun after the events of the final crisis. You can 290 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:44,340 learn more about the monitor in his duel against the Watcher. As Darkseid's essence attempted to 291 00:29:44,340 --> 00:29:49,960 conquer Earth from within the body of Metropolis Detective Dan Turpin, the remaining new gods 292 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:56,820 returned in more evolved forms. Metron, Black Racer, and others reemerged to guide and protect 293 00:29:56,820 --> 00:30:02,840 creation. With the fall of Darkseid, the gods of New Genesis resumed their stewardship, their 294 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:08,660 spirits reborn to guide a new age. After the timeline-altering Flashpoint event, the 295 00:30:08,660 --> 00:30:15,800 history of the new gods was rewritten. In this new continuity, Ixaya and Uxas, or Darkseid, were 296 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:21,800 once peasants on the world of Urgrund, ruled by the destructive Old Gods. When the war among the 297 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:28,180 deities erupted, Uxas manipulated the conflict, stole their powers, and transformed into the 298 00:30:28,180 --> 00:30:35,000 being known as Darkseid. Ixaya pleaded with the gods for salvation, and one dying god gifted him 299 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:40,720 the power of the Alpha Effect. Reborn as Highfather, Ixaya battled his brother in a clash 300 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:46,800 that destroyed their world. From the ruins, Ixaya forged the floating city of Supertown and 301 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:52,700 rechristened his people, the new gods of New Genesis. Though Highfather led with strength and 302 00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:59,020 resolve, the devastation wrought by war hardened him. The death of his second wife at Darkseid's 303 00:30:59,020 --> 00:31:06,340 hands reignited hostilities, culminating in a second pact. As before, Orion was sent to New 304 00:31:06,340 --> 00:31:12,820 Genesis, and Highfather's infant son, Scott, was given to Apocalypse. Though the truce held, it did 305 00:31:12,820 --> 00:31:17,460 little to prevent Darkseid's continued conquest of the Multiverse, and Highfather became 306 00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:23,280 increasingly authoritarian in his governance. Years later, as new threats emerged, Highfather 307 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:30,340 sought to end the eternal conflict once and for all by acquiring the Life Equation, an antithesis to 308 00:31:30,340 --> 00:31:36,060 Darkseid's Anti-Life Equation. To that end, he dispatched the Council of Aids to retrieve the 309 00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:42,200 emotional spectrum rings from the Lantern Cores and captured the White Lantern Kyle Raynor, who 310 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:47,360 you learn more about in his duel against Null. Though Highfather claimed his actions were 311 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:53,160 noble, he used the Life Equation to transform innocent beings into soldiers in his war, 312 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:58,880 including the citizens of the planet Moos. When confronted by the Lantern Cores and his own 313 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:05,440 people, Highfather recognized his descent into tyranny. In a moment of clarity, he relinquished 314 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:10,840 the Life Equation and sought redemption. He helped save New Genesis from the revived Source 315 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:16,900 Titans, acknowledging the need to rebuild both the trust of his people and the shattered order of 316 00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:22,500 their society. Darkseid meanwhile perished in battle against the Justice League, consumed by 317 00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:27,860 the power of Anti-Life. His disappearance created a cosmic imbalance that the universe 318 00:32:27,860 --> 00:32:36,160 attempted to correct by giving rise to a new God of Evil, an emergent infant named Kamal. Orion, 319 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:42,000 tasked by New Genesis to destroy the child before he could awaken his godhood, found himself torn 320 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:48,480 between duty and conscience. Refusing to carry out the execution, Orion defied the edicts of 321 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:54,400 Supertown and fled with the child, triggering political upheaval across the realm. In the wake 322 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:59,900 of Orion's defection, an alien race known as the Nektari, who were descendants of the forgotten 323 00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:06,200 old god Nektar and former slaves of Apocalypse, emerged from the shadows of the cosmos and 324 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:11,720 launched a genocidal crusade against all fourth-world gods. The Nektari declared 325 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:18,120 themselves heirs to the divine legacy lost in the fall of the old gods and viewed both New Genesis and 326 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:24,160 Apocalypse as aberrations born from blasphemy. Their assault culminated in the destruction of 327 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:30,440 Supertown, forcing the surviving new gods into exile. In the battle's final moments, Lightray 328 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:36,620 was slain defending the celestial bridge from Nektari warships, his body igniting into radiant 329 00:33:36,620 --> 00:33:42,420 flame visible across the multiverse. Scattered and wounded, the remnants of the new gods 330 00:33:42,420 --> 00:33:48,340 established a refugee fleet shepherded by Metron's Mobius chair across forgotten star 331 00:33:48,340 --> 00:33:54,200 lanes in search of safe harbor. Big Barda and Mr. Miracle led rescue operations to salvage 332 00:33:54,200 --> 00:34:00,000 survivors from the ruins of Supertown, while foragers people, long overlooked, rose to the 333 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:06,220 front lines as guerrilla fighters. Highfather, stripped of his capital and humbled by war, 334 00:34:06,220 --> 00:34:12,139 governed from a fractured command, relying on Tachyon to maintain communion with the source. 335 00:34:12,139 --> 00:34:19,100 Orion, now a fugitive among his own people, raised Kamal in hiding, seeking to guide the child away 336 00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:24,840 from the shadow of Darkseid. The war with the Nektari marked the twilight of the fourth world, 337 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:30,820 as the new gods fought not for dominion or dogma, but for survival. And that's the new gods history 338 00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:38,699 so far. Now for my seven-member roster, I'm going with Orion, Mr. Miracle, Big Barda, Light Ray, 339 00:34:38,699 --> 00:34:45,880 Metron, Forager, and Becca. Orion is Darkseid's son, raised in Supertown, a brutal warrior with 340 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:52,360 superhuman strength, speed, durability, and the power of the Astro Force, an explosive energy he 341 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:58,100 projects from his harness in battle. Mr. Miracle is the universe's greatest escape artist, armed 342 00:34:58,100 --> 00:35:04,680 with a sentient mother box computer and high-tech gadgets that let him fly, phase, and break through 343 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:10,880 any trap or barrier. Big Barda is a fierce frontline combatant raised by granny goodness of 344 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:16,920 apocalypse, wielding her indestructible mega rod and enhanced armor. Light Ray is a radiant and 345 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:22,180 optimistic warrior who manipulates solar energy, granting him light speed, flight, laser 346 00:35:22,180 --> 00:35:29,040 precision blasts, and blinding luminescence. Metron is an aloof observer of reality who 347 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:35,240 traverses time, space, and dimensions with his Mobius chair, granting him unlimited knowledge, 348 00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:41,160 teleportation, and technological control. Forager is a swift and agile warrior from New 349 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:47,480 Genesis' bug colony, Cast, fighting with energy-based stingers, mines, and exo-armor. 350 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:53,040 And for the seventh member of my roster, I'm going with Orion's wife, Becca, the goddess of love 351 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:58,580 capable of inspiring overwhelming devotion in others while wielding advanced New Genesis 352 00:35:58,580 --> 00:36:05,060 technology, including a phase-shifting suit that grants her invisibility and intangibility. 353 00:36:05,060 --> 00:36:10,440 I do want to say that I originally wanted to use Highfather in this duel, but Joseph's a big fat 354 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:17,680 cheater who would not allow me to do so. No, I mean, I'm not using Mentor or Zurus or anything like 355 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:21,880 that. So yeah, you can't use Highfather. He's just too powerful, I think, for this group. So to 356 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:29,380 reiterate, my seventh member roster consists of Orion, Mr. Miracle, Big Barda, Light Ray, Metron, 357 00:36:29,380 --> 00:36:36,120 Forager, and Becca. Yeah, it's a good team. I like how the history of the New Gods is no less 358 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:40,220 convoluted than the history of the Eternals. I actually think it got better with the 359 00:36:40,220 --> 00:36:46,500 post-Flashpoint retcon. It's not Jack Kirby, but it is pretty cool. Yeah, the Eternals got 360 00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:51,400 retconned a few times as well, even by Neil Gaiman. But I think really actually the movie helped 361 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:57,340 solidify some of those ideas that Jack Kirby originally had, and they've since brought some of 362 00:36:57,340 --> 00:37:56,040 those concepts into the comic book universe as well. The holidays are just a few weeks away, and if 363 00:37:56,040 --> 00:38:01,920 you haven't started shopping yet, this is your sign. Head to oldglory.com, the ultimate store 364 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:07,220 for superhero fans. They've got officially licensed Marvel and DCTs, hoodies, and gifts 365 00:38:07,220 --> 00:38:13,740 perfect for every hero, sidekick, or villain lover on your list. Order now and get 15% off 366 00:38:13,740 --> 00:38:20,540 anything when you use the promo code dual at checkout. That's D-U-E-L. Don't wait until the 367 00:38:20,540 --> 00:38:25,740 last minute. Your favorite designs ship fast, but they won't last forever. Start your holiday 368 00:38:25,740 --> 00:38:34,100 shopping today at oldglory.com and make this season heroic. Now that we've got the team's 369 00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:38,680 histories and rosters out of the way, let's speculate on how one of the simulated matches will 370 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:43,640 go. The winners determined by simulations, not the speculation, but it's fun to imagine how the 371 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:49,500 fight could play out. A.J. and I.K., what are the rules of our speculation? Well, I should say there 372 00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:54,620 are no rules, other than the teams have no prior knowledge of the other going into the fight. All 373 00:38:54,620 --> 00:38:59,720 they are aware of starting out is that the other side is a threat that needs to be eliminated. For 374 00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:04,280 the speculation, the groups will begin approximately 50 meters apart in a nondescript 375 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:09,340 environment that will have no bearing on the match itself, as no environmental statistics are 376 00:39:09,340 --> 00:39:14,660 considered in my simulations. The teams must earn victory on their own merit. Alright then, let's 377 00:39:14,660 --> 00:39:20,980 get into it. The new gods and the Eternals meet on the battlefield who goes first. I'm actually 378 00:39:20,980 --> 00:39:26,300 going to say that Lightray starts off the match since he's the fastest one out of both of the teams 379 00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:32,900 and he's going to begin by emitting this blinding flash of light that is going to blind all of the 380 00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:38,940 Eternals and that's going to allow Orion to unleash this wide astrophors blast against the 381 00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:44,140 entire team while they're trying to blink the light out of their eyes. So they're all just 382 00:39:44,140 --> 00:39:50,560 basically destroyed from the get go. Okay, but Eternals, I mean they have eyes that can adapt to 383 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:56,020 brightness and darkness better than humans. So like this flash of light by Lightray, it doesn't 384 00:39:56,020 --> 00:40:00,840 affect them more than it would like a normal human looking at a bright light bulb. So not too bad. You 385 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:08,160 know, like they witness Orion about to unleash his astrophors. So Cersei is going to construct a wall 386 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:14,680 shielding them that's made out of pure diamond and Makari, you know, my resident speedster, she's 387 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:19,380 going to phase through the wall and straight up pinball herself among the new gods, just you know, 388 00:40:19,380 --> 00:40:24,640 karate chopping some of them in the head, kicking others in the chest and like judo tossing at least 389 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:30,380 one of them. But like for sure knocking down each one of the new gods on their ass. A diamond wall 390 00:40:30,380 --> 00:40:35,580 wouldn't be much of a shield against the astrophors, but sure, we'll say a stand's long 391 00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:40,940 enough for Makari to get through it before you know it becomes diamond dust, essentially. Luckily 392 00:40:40,940 --> 00:40:46,540 enough for the new gods, though, I'm going to say that the first one Makari approaches happens to be 393 00:40:46,540 --> 00:40:53,120 Becca, the new goddess of love, who is constantly radiating empathic waves that force those in 394 00:40:53,120 --> 00:41:00,720 proximity to her to fall in love with her. So while Makari suddenly becomes smitten with her, Big 395 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:07,960 Barda is going to use her Mega Rod as like this jet to launch herself straight into the biggest guy on 396 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:13,680 your team, Gilgamesh, and she's just going to pummel him with her rod. I don't know why that 397 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:19,960 sounds gross, but it does. But Gilgamesh, like he's so fucking strong, he's going to straight up 398 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:25,400 catch Big Barda's Mega Rod as she's like bringing it down on him, and he's going to just snap it like a 399 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:30,580 twig before feeding one of the broken ends to her, just like busting her right in the face. Then 400 00:41:30,580 --> 00:41:36,800 Thena, just out of thin air, she conjures a Mega Rod of her own, except it's going to be three times as 401 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:43,960 long and twice as girthy, and it also has a blade at the end, like a spear, and she uses it to fire a blast 402 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:50,480 at Barda that knocks Barda off of Gilgamesh. Okay, first of all, the Mega Rod is apocalyptic in 403 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:57,520 technology. There's no way Gilgamesh breaks it, bends it, maybe, but you know, a Baren rod is 404 00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:02,860 nothing to be ashamed of, you know. Barda just angles it slightly when she uses it, and she's 405 00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:09,420 going to use it to counter Thena's blast with one of her own. And because Mr. Miracle saw Thena try to 406 00:42:09,420 --> 00:42:15,980 attack his wife, he's going to get between them and whip out his multi-cube that he's going to use to 407 00:42:15,980 --> 00:42:22,380 fire this unbreakable net around Thena, which pins her to the ground. Thena would just teleport 408 00:42:22,380 --> 00:42:28,680 out of the net. So no big deal there. Faistos is going to use his Warhammer to smash Mr. Miracle's 409 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:34,840 multi-cube, and then he's going to throw out a gadget that ensnares Mr. Miracle in this, like, 410 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:41,200 intricate trap. It kind of looks like a golden four-dimensional clock with, like, these gears 411 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:48,540 that distort time and make whoever is trapped inside of it go back in time with every motion Mr. 412 00:42:48,540 --> 00:42:53,660 Miracle makes. So it's basically impossible to escape from. Well, I wouldn't say that. It just 413 00:42:53,660 --> 00:43:00,980 means he needs to break out of it in one motion. And that's going to be easy. He will use his mother box 414 00:43:00,980 --> 00:43:06,680 to generate a boom tube around him, and that's going to allow him to escape the trap by falling 415 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:14,720 into a boom tube. Meanwhile, Forager is going to douse Faistos and his hammer with a stream of acid 416 00:43:14,720 --> 00:43:20,100 from his acid pod on his wrist, and that's going to disintegrate him. Except Cersei just turns that 417 00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:28,140 acid into clone midair before it lands on Faistos. So all Forager did was make Faistos smell like a 418 00:43:28,140 --> 00:43:34,120 suave motherfucker. That's when Icarus just flies right through Forager, turning him into, 419 00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:40,000 like, this cockroach smear on the battlefield. Okay, but actually Icarus is just going to bounce 420 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:46,640 right off of Forager's bug shield that he was wearing on his back. So, ha ha. We'll say Forager 421 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:51,480 does get smashed into the ground, but you know, he's pretty resilient, so he'll be fine. 422 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:59,060 Meanwhile, Metron is going to catch Icarus in a tractor beam and teleport him near Becca. So now 423 00:43:59,060 --> 00:44:05,940 she's in control of both Makari and Icarus, and because they're under her thrall, they're going 424 00:44:05,940 --> 00:44:13,520 to start attacking the other Eternals at super fast sonic speed. Okay, except when Icarus and 425 00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:20,780 Makari try and attack Starfox, he gets them under his thrall, so they don't want to hurt him or his 426 00:44:20,780 --> 00:44:26,160 teammates the rest of the Eternals. And then Starfox is going to extend his apathokinesis to 427 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:32,320 Becca, so Becca falls in love with Starfox too, and therefore she drops Icarus and Makari completely 428 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:40,740 out of their empathic days, and Becca straight up starts making out with Starfox. What? Okay, well 429 00:44:40,740 --> 00:44:47,780 that's going to piss off Orion since that's his wife, and we'll say it enrages him so much that it's 430 00:44:47,780 --> 00:44:55,100 going to short-circuit his mother box, which is usually what keeps his innate rage in check. So, 431 00:44:55,100 --> 00:45:02,180 with his power unleashed, Orion, who at this point is irrational and made impossible to be affected 432 00:45:02,180 --> 00:45:08,440 by Starfox's empathic power, he's going to plow straight into Starfox at light speed on his astral 433 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:16,780 harness, while engulfed in astrophors energy. So, Starfox gets vaporized, after which Orion's 434 00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:22,900 mother box is going to repair itself and restore Orion's mind. I guess that's fair, considering he 435 00:45:22,900 --> 00:45:28,960 did make out with Orion's wife and all. Yeah, but you know what? Orion's going to be angry again when 436 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:34,620 Thena shoots a bolt from her cosmic energy crossbow that's going to strike Becca right 437 00:45:34,620 --> 00:45:41,820 between her eyes, so Becca's out. Yeah, Becca has a phase shifter built into her suit that makes her 438 00:45:41,820 --> 00:45:48,420 intangible, and you know, she probably activated that at the very start of this match, smartly. So, 439 00:45:48,420 --> 00:45:57,720 that bolt is actually going to hit Gilgamesh instead, which is going to take him out. No, he's 440 00:45:57,720 --> 00:46:03,940 fine, but Becca may be intangible, but Cersei's just going to force her to become tangible, either 441 00:46:03,940 --> 00:46:11,540 by like turning her phase shifter into dust or like even just rendering her molecule solid. Either 442 00:46:11,540 --> 00:46:19,260 way, Becca does not survive Thena's next bolt, which fires from her crossbow. So, Becca's out, 443 00:46:19,260 --> 00:46:26,340 and Orion's not going to do shit about this, because Faistos slaps a magnetic technology 444 00:46:26,340 --> 00:46:32,480 hacker onto Orion's astro harness, and that's going to infect Orion's mother box with a 445 00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:39,020 celestial virus that causes him to become docile, and like so docile, in fact, that he just lets 446 00:46:39,020 --> 00:46:45,240 Icarus hurl him into outer space, never to return. Oh, dang, that was a good move, actually. All 447 00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:51,880 right, well, I'm going to say by this point, Mr. Miracle Boomtube is back into the match, and right 448 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:58,840 away, he's going to quickly grab Gilgamesh and toss him into the tube before it closes. So, 449 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:06,120 Gilgamesh also never returns to the match. Meanwhile, Big Barda uses her mega rod to teleport 450 00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:13,560 behind Icarus, and she's going to use that rod to garot and kill him. Okay, she's choking him out 451 00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:20,340 with the mega rod. Still sounds gross. He wrestles to free himself from getting choked out, but his 452 00:47:20,340 --> 00:47:25,660 eyes are still free. He's going to shoot massively powerful cosmic eye beams at forager that just 453 00:47:25,660 --> 00:47:33,060 incinerate the guy. So, Icarus may be out, like he gets taken out by Barda choking him, but he's also 454 00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:39,060 going to take that cockroach guy with him, and then suddenly, Mikari steals Barda's mega rod and then 455 00:47:39,060 --> 00:47:44,600 uses her speed power to phase the rod through her chest, just impaling her and taking her out of the 456 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:52,440 match. Is Mikari a man or a woman? Well, both. Mikari started out as a man then was resurrected as 457 00:47:52,440 --> 00:48:02,600 a woman in her latest incarnation. Oh, okay. So, Barda's out, but as Mikari proceeds to zip around, 458 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:07,880 I'm going to say Light Ray flies out in front of her path and stays in front of her no matter where she 459 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:15,240 turns as he blasts her with a series of lasers, taking out each leg before beaming her right 460 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:20,800 between the eyes. So, she's out. Okay. I mean, while Light Ray was so focused on eliminating 461 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:27,040 Mikari and staying in front of her, one thing he didn't notice was his own decapitation by Theanus 462 00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:32,480 Sword. So, he like lasers Mikari out of the match, and then all of a sudden, he sees his own body. He's 463 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:38,340 like, oh, shit, there's my body. Oh, no, I'm dead. Jeez. Actually, I'm going to say that Metron just 464 00:48:38,340 --> 00:48:44,060 rewinds time. So, that Light Ray is no longer decapitated. Now, he's just going to duck below 465 00:48:44,060 --> 00:48:50,980 Theanus Sword and sever her torso in half with a laser beam. So, she's actually the one that's 466 00:48:50,980 --> 00:48:56,600 taken out. Time manipulation is bullshit. What controls Metron's time powers? Is it, it's his 467 00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:03,660 chair, right? Yeah, the Mobius chair. I'm going to say that it is now the Mobius pilot dog shit, 468 00:49:03,660 --> 00:49:09,940 because Cersei is going to transform Metron's chair into dog shit. So, now Metron is sitting on 469 00:49:09,940 --> 00:49:15,780 it, and he's like, eww, gross, I'm sitting on this big ass pile of dog shit. And then, he and his pile of 470 00:49:15,780 --> 00:49:21,900 dog shit get turned into marble. So, he's a marble statue now that will forever commemorate that 471 00:49:21,900 --> 00:49:27,480 one-time Metron sat on a big ass stinky pile of sloppy dog shit. That is the most disrespectful 472 00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:33,820 thing you've ever said. I feel like Metron also would have seen that coming. But whatever, Mr. 473 00:49:33,820 --> 00:49:40,140 Miracle, he's going to use his mother box to transmute Cersei into, I don't know, what's worse 474 00:49:40,140 --> 00:49:46,420 than shit? Vomit? Nothing. A pile of vomit. That's what Cersei is now. Alright, so who, I only have 475 00:49:46,420 --> 00:49:53,160 Faistos left. Right, and I have Mr. Miracle and Light Ray. Okay. So, Faistos, he's going to throw 476 00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:59,740 out a device, a celestial technology device that transforms into a portable version of the 477 00:49:59,740 --> 00:50:05,380 Eternals Resurrection Engine. And this is going to awaken a whole new set of the same Eternals that 478 00:50:05,380 --> 00:50:11,080 you knew gods just destroyed or removed from the battle. And then Icarus, now resurrected, he's 479 00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:16,120 the head Eternal, he's going to start the Unimined Ritual by creating this pillar of blue flame that 480 00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:23,300 all the other Eternals fly into, and that is going to form the Unimined, which is a composite being 481 00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:29,360 that together is like more powerful than the sum of its parts. That's right, you're totally screwed. 482 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:35,000 The fuck? He's like Infinity Man? Sure. I still don't quite know who Infinity Man is. It's High 483 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:39,920 Father's Brother or whatever. This is a composite being of Eternals. It's like a floating energy 484 00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:45,520 head with all the powers that can take on any form it wants to actually. And so this Unimined is going to 485 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:51,360 compress matter inside of Light Ray's body into this mini black hole that causes him to implode. 486 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:56,200 That's going to kill him. And the mini black hole also sucks in Mr. Miracle. Like, Light can't 487 00:50:56,200 --> 00:51:01,040 escape a black hole. How the hell is Mr. Miracle going to escape a black hole? He's not that smash 488 00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:08,280 over. That was awesome. Escape a black hole? I mean, that'd be easy, actually. Like all Mr. 489 00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:15,000 Miracle has to do is take over this Unimined by reciting the Anti-Life equation, which he knows. 490 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:21,900 And with the Unimined under his control, not only does he close up the black hole, but the match is 491 00:51:21,900 --> 00:51:29,420 over since to be under the control of Anti-Life is essentially death. What good is the Anti-Life 492 00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:37,940 equation if Mr. Miracle is unable to speak? What? Because the Unimined just erased his mouth and Mr. 493 00:51:37,940 --> 00:51:42,200 Miracle gets sucked into the black hole. I don't know. I mean, Mr. Miracle doesn't have to speak it 494 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:47,720 out loud. He could think it. I'm assuming the Unimined is psychic. So it probably still hears 495 00:51:47,720 --> 00:51:53,440 the equation in Mr. Miracle's mind. How is Mr. Miracle going to think this equation before he 496 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:58,580 dies, before he gets sucked into the black hole? That's dumb. We'll just say he resets it before the 497 00:51:58,580 --> 00:52:03,980 Eternals even had time to form the Unimined. Like you're saying Faistos was able to activate this 498 00:52:03,980 --> 00:52:10,300 celestial machine, recreate the Eternals, have them form the Unimined and form the black hole 499 00:52:10,300 --> 00:52:16,700 before he could recite the equation? No way. That's wishful thinking. That's bullshit. It 500 00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:23,040 could happen. Sure, why not? Okay, that is a lot of steps. We'll go ahead and leave the match there. 501 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:28,620 Either Faistos and the Eternals are able to form the Unimined, which in turn creates a black hole 502 00:52:28,620 --> 00:52:35,220 that destroys Lightray and Mr. Miracle, or Mr. Miracle recites the Anti-Life equation taking 503 00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:41,080 control of the Unimined or the Eternals and ending their lives. We'll go ahead and leave the match up 504 00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:46,920 there, input the character stats, run the simulations and come back with the winner. AJ9K, 505 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:54,300 hit it! Inputting data, running calculations, processing results, simulations complete. Man, 506 00:52:54,300 --> 00:52:59,220 I was really looking forward to using the Unimined against you, but you're right. Like it just, it was 507 00:52:59,220 --> 00:53:04,120 just too many steps. I don't think I could pull that off quite cleanly. I'm just glad Mr. Miracle 508 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:09,500 survived to the end of that speculation to use the Anti-Life equation because I'm not sure how else I 509 00:53:09,500 --> 00:53:14,840 would have overcome the Unimined. Not that the speculation matters, it all comes down to stats in 510 00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:20,340 the end of what you were right. The Eternals stomped on the new gods when it came to 511 00:53:20,340 --> 00:53:25,000 versatility. That was the biggest discrepancy between both teams. Yeah, the Eternals 512 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:29,020 definitely had the edge over the new gods when it came to versatility considering they have 513 00:53:29,020 --> 00:53:36,080 basically all the powers, but the new gods did stomp the Eternals when it came to evasiveness, 514 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:41,540 largely because characters like Becca, Mr. Miracle, and Metron are over and above highly 515 00:53:41,540 --> 00:53:48,180 evasive. Both teams were fairly durable, fairly fast, they were pretty much even when it came to 516 00:53:48,180 --> 00:53:54,200 damage level, actually, and their range was also very similar. Overall, it looks like the Eternals 517 00:53:54,200 --> 00:54:01,060 were a group of better fighters, which surprised me. Yeah, Acheris, Stina, Gilgamesh, they're all 518 00:54:01,060 --> 00:54:05,440 really well-adept fighters who have lived for close to a million years, quite a lot of experience 519 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:10,420 under their belt. Whereas someone like Metron, like have you ever seen Metron throw a punch even? 520 00:54:10,420 --> 00:54:16,860 No, actually, he had the lowest fighting stat out of anyone on either team. That being said, he was 521 00:54:16,860 --> 00:54:22,280 still the most powerful member overall. Yeah, Metron was by far the most powerful character. He 522 00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:30,160 had a win rate of 82.1%, though I also had the weakest member of the other side with Forager, who 523 00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:37,380 only had a win rate of 24.4%. Most of my Eternals were actually right around the same level 524 00:54:37,380 --> 00:54:46,920 stat-wise, and so a lot of them also had around the same win rate, ranging from about 55% to 45% win 525 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:52,540 rate. People like Gilgamesh excelled in strength, McCurry, and speed, things like that, 526 00:54:52,540 --> 00:54:57,180 but overall, they were pretty well balanced. That being said, Jonathan, can the new gods overcome 527 00:54:57,180 --> 00:55:02,560 that level of versatility and balance? I think so. I mean, I think the Eternals are not specialized 528 00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:09,000 enough, I would say. Not as much as the new gods, and I think that's going to be in the new gods' favor. 529 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:16,760 And Instagram agrees with me. Of those who took our Instagram poll, 62% sided with the new gods, which 530 00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:21,020 is lame because the new gods haven't even had a movie, so I think that's just a lot of people 531 00:55:21,020 --> 00:55:25,560 hating. Well, some of the new gods made an appearance in Zack Snyder's Justice League. I 532 00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:30,860 mean, no one who's on my team, they're all from Apocalypse, but people know about them. I don't 533 00:55:30,860 --> 00:55:38,360 think they do, but let's see which team won. Age of 9K, the results please. Alright, the winner 534 00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:50,620 between the new gods and the Eternals is... The new gods. Yes! Not by much though. Not by much. Not even 535 00:55:50,620 --> 00:55:55,740 close to what you are probably hoping for, out of the thousands of simulated matches, the new gods 536 00:55:55,740 --> 00:56:02,860 only won 51.2% of the time, whereas the Eternals won 48.8%. So what you're saying is that the new 537 00:56:02,860 --> 00:56:10,940 gods aren't stoppable. What I'm saying is the new gods are big fucking losers, and they can go fuck 538 00:56:10,940 --> 00:56:17,540 themselves, and I hate them. That's what I'm saying. Geez, jealous much? I'm not jealous 539 00:56:17,540 --> 00:56:23,280 because I know at the end of the day the new gods are inferior. Clearly not! Well, if they weren't, 540 00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:27,060 then they would have had a movie made about them already. Wouldn't they have? That's what I 541 00:56:27,060 --> 00:56:31,680 thought. You mean a shitty movie? Yeah, if they had a movie made about them, it would have been shitty. 542 00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:37,660 Yeah. No, I mean, the Eternals movie was shitty. Fuck you. Never mind. In the end, I don't feel too 543 00:56:37,660 --> 00:56:41,920 bad because it was such a close matchup. It's almost a coin toss really. And it looks like the 544 00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:50,420 coin came up. New gods. That's stupid. You lose, bitch! But that does it for this team duel. AJ9K, 545 00:56:50,420 --> 00:57:25,800 help close us out. Alright, our next episode is going to be an individual duel. We're going to find 546 00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:32,140 out who would win in a fight between Gypsy, who I think is a Titan? No, a member of Justice League 547 00:57:32,140 --> 00:57:36,420 Detroit. Okay, I don't know anything about Gypsy, but we're going to learn about her. She's going up 548 00:57:36,420 --> 00:57:41,600 against Shadowcat, who everybody knows as a member of the X-Men Kitty Pride. That does it for 549 00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:45,720 this episode, guys. We want to give a big thanks to our executive producers, Jon Straski, Zachary 550 00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:50,380 Hepburn, Dustin Belcom, Nathaniel Wagner, Levi Yatyn, Austin Wazalowski, AJ Dunkerly, Nick 551 00:57:50,380 --> 00:57:56,020 Ibonto, Scott Camacho, Gil Camacho, Adam Speese, Dean Maleski, Devin Davis, Joseph Kirsting, and 552 00:57:56,020 --> 00:58:00,750 Paul Graves for helping make this podcast possible. We'll talk to you guys next week. Up, up 553 00:58:00,750 --> and away, true believers. I'm glad Druig wasn't in this duel. Druig sucks.