This is a DynaMic Network podcast.
Hi and welcome to the Dynamic Duel Podcast, a weekly show where we review superhero films
and debate the superiority between Marvel and DC by comparing their characters and stat-based
battle simulations. I'm Marvelous Joe. And I'm his twin brother Johnny DC. And in this episode
we're going to find out who would win in a fight between Kite Man and Stilt Man because I know
everybody is wondering who would win. I have been wondering about this for as long as...
A couple of months, ever since one of our executive producers, Mickey Methangean, thought up the
idea. It's a fantastic idea. I can't believe we haven't thought of it sooner, and I can't
wait to find out who's gonna win. Yeah, this episode is a tie-in to our next episode, which
is gonna be a review of Kite Man Hell Yeah Season 1 on Macs. This should be a fun one though,
so look forward to that discussion later. Before that, we're gonna break down the latest comic
book movie news to come out this past week, including the Joker Follyadoo That's Life trailer.
As always, we list our segment times in our episode description, so feel free to check
out the show notes if you want to skip ahead to a particular topic. Guys, our artificially
intelligent duel simulator AJ9K has a quick message for our listeners, so listen up. Why
hello there, do you want even more from this podcast? Then become a part of the dynamic
duel community on Patreon, where you can choose from three tiers. The dynamic two-oh tier gives
you access to our Discord chat server. The fantastic four tier gives you two bonus episodes each
month, and the X-Force tier makes you an executive producer of this show. Lastly, The Diner Mike
podcast network tier lets you create your own podcast using this Monte Carlo simulator. Johnny
and Joe will help you develop your show, provide graphic support and consultation, and get you
simulation results. Pitch the twins your ideas via email at dynamicduelpodcast at gmail.com.
Check it out at patreon.com slash dynamicduel. Pip pip cheerio. Thanks AJ9K and thanks to
everyone who supports the podcast. We want to give a quick shout out to one of our patrons,
Jacob Foster. Whose birthday was this past week? Happy birthday, Jacob. Happy birthday. If I
could give you any gift from Marvel, I would give you Gambit's playing card deck because
even though you don't have mutant powers to make them explode, you can still play cards
with them. So yeah, it's fun. If I could get you anything from DC for your birthday, I would
get you Ragman's cloak because your handle in our Discord server is Hypnotic Cape and that's
pretty much a Hypnotic Cape. Happy birthday again, man, and thanks for being a patron.
Yeah, thanks a bunch. Be sure to tune into the other shows on the DynaMic Podcast Network
this week, including Max Destruction, which pits your favorite action heroes from film
and television against each other. This week, hosts Scotty and Gilly are breaking down a
Robocop vs. Terminator matchup. On the Send Your World podcast, host Zachary Hepburn speculates
on fights between fan favorite anime and manga characters. This Thursday... Zach will find
out who would win in a fight between All Might from My Hero Academia and Mash Bernadette from
Mashly. On the Console Combat podcast hosts Jon and Dean simulate battles between popular
video game characters. In yesterday's episode, they released their first ever developer interview
with Andrew Magazoo, the co-creator of the upcoming game Vigilante Combat Round 1. Visit dynamicpodcasts.com
or click the link in our show notes to listen to all of the shows in the DynaMic Podcast
Network. But with that out of the way, quick to the No Prize! A No Prize is an award Marvel
used to give out to fans. Our version, the Dynamic Duel No Prize, is a digital award that we post
on Instagram for the person that we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week.
Last week, we asked, Do you think this should or shouldn't be Eddie Brock's and Venom's last
appearance in Sony's Spider-Man universe, and why? And that was in reference to the Venom
The Last Dance movie. We got a lot of answers. Let's go ahead and break down our honorable
mentions as well as the no prize winner. Our first honorable mention goes to Scott Camacho.
Who said? Probably channeling my twin brother through me and the Marvel is coming out. This
should be their last appearance in the Sonyverse. Why? Because it's going nowhere. You guys want
him in... the Spider-Man and Disney side, right? So yeah, they should end their last dance and
hop over there. For sure, yeah. Similar to how Spider-Man allegedly kind of straddles between
the Sony Spider-Man universe and the MCU, even though that's not really the case because Spider-Man
only shows up in the MCU films, maybe Sony and Marvel can make a deal for Venom so that he
can also show up with the other MCU characters and no longer be confined to this Sony verse
limbo that he's in. Yeah, otherwise like Scotty said, it's leading nowhere. It does make sense
for Venom to be in the Spider-Man universe considering he's a Spider-Man character. I guess a good
question is what do you consider the Spider-Man universe? Well, the MCU, the universe that
the Spider-Man character exists in. Okay, okay. Great answer Scotty. Our next honorable mention
goes to Travis Herndon, who said... What's up, Dunnaamadoos? Travis here, shout out to my
evil twin. So my answer would be yes. Why? Because it's finally time for this man to come home.
Home. Eddie and Venom need to be in the MCU. Me and you. Everybody and their grandmas want
these two to be in the MCU. Finally meet Spider-Man. Team up with him. Fight him. We don't care.
It's time for this guy to leave the loser table and come join and sit with the cool kids now.
If they made a fourth Venom movie. with Tom Hardy and brought him into the MCU. What do
you think the name of that movie should be called? Should it be called Venom Homecoming? Ha ha
ha. Venom, there's no place like home. That sounds a little bit more apt according to the
naming conventions that they've been going with for this Venom Sony franchise. Just like dumb?
Yeah, exactly. Ha ha ha. Great answer, Travis. Our next honorable mention goes to Cyrus Moore.
Who said? Hey guys, Cyrus Moore here. Um, I believe the only answer to this question is
yes. They are absolutely wasting Tom Hardy's time. He needs to come back to DC where he'll
be treated with the love and care and respect of the world-class actor he is. Um, I mean,
obviously Sony doesn't know how to make a movie. Marvel would just waste his time. So he needs
to come back to DC already. Yeah. Tom Hardy's turn as Bane was a tour de force. Like you
can make fun of it. But the fact that he was able to pull that off and be almost unrecognizable
as he did it is just a testament to how solid of an actor he is. I was born in the shadows.
Yeah he was, yeah he was. I'm sure there are a lot of roles that Tom Hardy could pull off
in the new DCU considering you know he's a bigger guy and he's a big name but I think a lot more
people would want him to come to the Marvel universe just because people know that Marvel
is better. So no one knows that. Kevin Feige could easily recast Eddie Brock for the MCU
so you don't know what you're talking about. Like fans would not even care. Well, who would
you cast Tom Hardy as in the DCU? Ooh, good question. Would Tom Hardy make a good Constantine?
Oh shit, probably. Yeah, probably would. I could see that, totally. Just like a chain smoking
foul mouthed magician just to make his hair like dirty blonde and messy. Totally, I could
see that. He gives off heavy vibes of like, don't give a fuck, you know? Yeah. That's actually
pretty solid. Great answer, Cyrus Moore. We want to give a quick shout out to Daniel Alonzo
for also taking the time to visit our website and record an answer. But the winner of this
week's No Prize is Mason Thompson. Who said? This is Mason Thompson again, you know, I just
gotta keep these answers going. Um, I do feel like he's a good actor for the thing he, for
the movie. He took a good funny approach to Venom, but I feel like he got dragged through
the mud in the second one. But it'd also be cool to see him, whatever they do with the
Sonyverse. I feel like the Sonyverse is kind of in shambles. So I feel like if they get
rid of Venom, it's just going to go all down the drain, you know. Yeah, Mason was the only
responder who said that maybe Venom and Eddie Brock should stay in Sony's Spider-Man universe
and have another movie. We're not saying we necessarily agree, but we did think that his
answer was unique in the argument that it gave. It's highly likely due to the deals that Sony
keeps making with Marvel. that Sony is going to retain the rights for Spider-Man pretty
much indefinitely. So if the Sony Spider-Man universe is going to forever be a thing without
the Venom films, it'll likely fall into shambles. Is that something that we want? Yes, 100%,
absolutely. But is it something that is good for the superhero genre as a whole and will
it eventually lead to Sony selling the rights to Marvel? Probably not. Yeah, there's still
always the option that Andrew Garfield could come in and be the Spider-Man for Tom Hardy.
You know, so I could see them continuing this universe and not necessarily transferring Kim
to the MCU. And it could still end up good, like good in a way that fans feel is good.
At this point, anything still possible? We'll see how Venom the Last Dance performs at the
box office and let the conjecture go from there. But congrats again to Mason Thompson for winning
this week's No Prize. If you the listener want a shot at winning your own No Prize, stay tuned
to later on this episode when we'll be asking another Question of the Week. And now that
that's done, on to the news!
Okay, this past week we got a new trailer for Joker Folly do the sequel to 2019's Joker film.
I'm not sure if this is the final trailer. It probably is since the movie comes out pretty
soon here in just a couple of weeks actually. I would consider this definitely to be a hey
tickets are now on sale. Here's where all the critics are raving about type trailer. So yeah,
it's akin to a final trailer. And I thought it was a fantastic trailer. I liked this trailer.
more than the last trailer that we got. I would agree. Yeah. Actually, you know, what's interesting
is the first time I watched this trailer, I was at work and so I couldn't watch it with
the audio on. And it just struck me how powerful all the images were. The cinematography on
this thing is so fantastic. Oh, yeah. And the shots were so compelling. I remember thinking
as I was watching it, it looks like it's going to be really good. But I'm not holding my breath
because a lot of the reviews that have been coming in since the review embargo has lifted
for the film have portrayed it as like a middling movie. Well, it's currently resting at a like
low 60s Rotten Tomatoes score with about 50 reviews, but that doesn't really bother me
because the first Joker film is sitting in the 60s for its Rotten Tomatoes score and a lot
of these reviews came out of the film's premiere at the Venice Film Festival where the first
film did fantastic, ended up taking the Golden Lion. The sequel didn't do as well, but I think
that was because it didn't meet the expectations of a lot of critics in terms of what the film
actually was. Like it's being sold as this musical, but apparently it's barely a musical. So I
saw a lot of critics mentioning that. That doesn't bother me. I know a lot of people have been
complaining about the musical aspect to begin with. So, I don't know. I still think it's
going to be a really good film. I'm not sure if it's going to be as good as the first, but...
That Rot Tomato score does not scare me, especially after a trailer like this. I feel like this
gives us a lot of Arthur Fleck as the Joker, more so than we've seen in previous trailers.
Like when he's talking to his friend on the witness stand, when he's watching Kirby Dent
talk about him on the television, when he's being carried up to his cell and he's like,
Oh, I'm in trouble. It's great to see Joaquin Phoenix play the role that got him an Oscar
the last time he portrayed the role. I think he's going to do phenomenal. I think Lady Gaga
is going to do phenomenal. We get to hear her sing for the first time in this trailer. That's
life. And it's a great rendition. It almost sounds like Amy Winehouse. It's fantastic.
But the thing that really sold me on this trailer is actually the different blurbs that we get
to see from various reviews that have described the film in ways like cinematic dynaMic deranged
and exciting, a surreal work of art. It's like... Anytime these things popped up on screen, I'm
just like, yes, please. Yes, please. Hey, you think that you'd be checking your expectations
by this point, though? You would think. Um, but it's the Joker. Like, I just watched the
first film again a couple of weeks ago and man, that film still holds up the cinematography,
the acting, the direction. It's so, so good. And I'm really looking forward to this movie.
Like I cannot be sold enough. I thought, and then this trailer comes out and I'm like, I
could only be so sold, you know? The movie's not gonna be, you know, Deadpool and Wolverine,
but I'm sure it'll be fine. We'll find out in a few weeks, I guess. I know, it's gonna be
nothing like that. It's gonna be way better, like a work of art, right? Deadpool and Wolverine
was like a work of art. Thank you very much. Yeah, for Marvel fans, go read the back of
a cereal box. Hey, you better watch yourself the way you talk to us, because the next thing
you know, this movie's gonna bomb and we're all gonna laugh at you and then slap the shit
out of you. But hey, if everyone's laughing... I mean, didn't the movie do its trick? No.
Okay. But considering the musical nature of this film and the fact that Lady Gaga has been
cast as Harley Quinn, and it seems to be a great casting choice, that brings us to our question
of the week.
What musician would you cast as a live action Marvel or DC character? And what character
would that be? Jared Leto as the Joker. Can't do that. You can't do Lady Gaga as Harley Quinn.
You have to do something original. No fucking Gavin Rosedale as some demon character or anything
like that. Alright. Record your answer guys at dynamictool.com by clicking on the red microphone
button in the bottom right hand corner of the screen, which will prompt you to leave us a
voicemail. Your message could be up to 30 seconds long, and don't forget to leave your name in
case we include you on the podcast. We'll pick our favorite answer and award that person a
Dynamic Duel No prize that we'll post to Instagram. Be sure to answer before September 28th.
But I think that does it for all the news for this episode, so let's go ahead and get into
our main event, where we find out who would win in a fight between the Batman villain,
Kite Man, and the Daredevil villain, Stilt Man.
Alright, Kite Man versus Stilt Man. This is a Batman villain versus a Daredevil villain.
And both of them are largely regarded as jokes, I think, within their respective comic book
universes. They're not very successful. They're kind of known for being losers, but they kind
of have endearing qualities to them just in kind of like the ridiculous nature of their
powers, right? Kite Man uses fucking kites to perform acts of villainy. And Stilt Man walks
on fucking stilts. Like what the hell is going on here? This is ridiculous, but I'm also here
for it. Yeah, the concepts that these characters chose to base their villainous theme on is
pretty ridiculous and absurd. But interestingly enough, these two characters are kind of like
masters of the sky. So with that and the ridiculous natures, I think this is a fantastic matchup
and one that I've been looking forward to doing ever since the concept was first introduced.
I'm actually really glad that Kite Man ended up getting his own show. because otherwise
we may never have done this episode because these characters are just so ridiculous and
obscure. Yeah, we're kind of scratching the bottom of the barrel here, but I actually think
these characters are renowned for being like D-listers, you know? Yeah, they're infamous.
Let's go ahead and get into their backstories. To explain the methodology behind our duels,
let's go to our sentient duel simulator, Alfred Jarvis 9000. AJ9K, tell our listeners how you
go about determining a winner in our duel matchups. Yes, of course, sir. The way I determine a
winner between the contestants is by running 1000 Monte Carlo simulations using the characters
statistics. A Monte Carlo simulation is a probabilistic model used to determine outcomes through random
sampling. In this case, I randomise the statistics along a normal distribution as a way to simulate
the many variables that can occur during battle. The stat parameters are based on the official
Marvel power grid from which the DC characters statistics are extrapolated.
damage potential, versatility and perception in order to create a more detailed and accurate
simulation. The results of the 1000 simulations provide a percentage of wins for each character.
The contestant with the higher percentage is declared the victor as they have a higher probability
to win any given battle. In an equitable pairing, neither character should win 100% of the matches.
The comic book stories have shown that there's even a way for Batman to defeat Superman. So
the confidence rate of my method falls in line with the precedents that have been established
in the source material. My mathematical simulations are without subjectivity or bias. Feats are
not the sole consideration, nor are fan votes tabulated for determination of the winner.
Thanks AJ9K! Before we run the simulations though, we like to break down each character's histories
and abilities before improvising a scenario on how we imagine one of the 1000 simulations
would play out beat for beat. And I believe it's my turn to go first with the DC characters
backstory, so let me tell you all about Kite Man. The Charles Chuck Brown had a fascination
with kites from a young age. His childhood hobby of flying kites soon evolved into an obsession,
and as he grew older, his obsession began to shape his life in unexpected ways. Rather than
pursue a conventional career, Chuck turned to crime. Using his love of kites and his knack
for engineering, He developed a series of specialized kite-themed weapons and gadgets, crafting an
identity that would strike fear, or at least confusion, into the hearts of Gotham citizens
as the criminal known as Kite Man. Bram designed a large kite that he strapped to his back,
allowing him to glide through the air and escape from crime scenes swiftly. Armed with a variety
of kites, from tear gas emitting kites to large kite planes, Chuck launched a crime spree across
Gotham City. by using tear gas released from one of his kites to disorient security during
a high-profile robbery, during which he stole a valuable ruby. With this kite-themed technology,
he not only managed to evade the authorities, but also freed a mobster from prison using
the chaos he created to his advantage. In the process, he nearly killed Robin and managed
to capture Batman, solidifying his reputation as a legitimate threat to Gotham's heroes.
However, despite his initial success, Kite Man's overconfidence proved to be his downfall. After
leaving the mobsters to guard Batman, Kite Man returned to find that Robin had managed to
free his mentor. In a swift turn of events, Batman and Robin used Kite Man's own weapons
against him, ultimately defeating him and bringing him to justice. His kite plane, which had been
a key part of his escape plans, was later kept as a trophy in the Batcave, symbolizing Batman's
victory over the kite-obsessed criminal. After serving time in prison, Chuck wasted little
time resuming his criminal activities. Still dedicated to his kite-centric theme, he launched
a new series of robberies, this time focusing on payroll heists. With his inventive use of
kites and glider wings, Kite Man was able to evade capture for some time. though his exploits
were once again thwarted by Gotham's vigilant protector, Batman. Though his crimes may have
seemed outlandish, Chuck's ability to develop new Kite-based technologies continued to pose
a challenge for Gotham's law enforcement and heroes alike. Despite repeated defeats, Kite-Man's
determination never wavered. His criminal career eventually attracted the attention of heroes
beyond Gotham, as his antics became more daring. In one notable encounter, Kite Man set his
sights on a valuable treasure known as the Golden Eagle. During the heist, he was confronted
by Hawkman, Hawk Girl, and Zatanna, three of DC's most formidable heroes. Who you could
learn more about in their respective duels against Wolverine, Gamora, and Scarlet Witch. Kite
Man's specialized kites gave him the upper hand in mid-air combat for a brief period, but Zatanna's
magical abilities ultimately turned the tide. After a short battle, Kite Man was sent crashing
into a tree and was defeated. Kite Man's notoriety grew further when he relocated to Zandia, a
fictional country notorious for being a haven for supervillains. The country allowed criminals
like him to operate with relative impunity, and Kite Man quickly ingratiated himself with
other villains living there. He even joined Zandia's supervillain sports team, where he
used his kite-based technology to contribute to their success. However, Kite Man's time
in Zandia was cut short when he became involved in a conflict with a group of invading superheroes.
Despite his abilities, Kite Man was once again defeated, further cementing his status as a
villain who couldn't quite reach the upper echelons of criminal success. As the supervillain community
evolved, Chuck found himself increasingly on the margins. During a major event in Gotham
City, Kite Man was approached by a group of villains looking to form a new criminal syndicate.
When Chuck refused to join their ranks, one of Gotham's deadliest assassins, Deathstroke,
threw him off of a skyscraper. Although severely injured, Kite Man survived the fall, managing
to glide to safety using one of his emergency kites. However, his near-death experience marked
a turning point in his criminal career. Chuck attempted to reestablish himself in Gotham's
underworld, taking on smaller-scale heists and selling his custom-made kites to other criminals.
His status in the city's criminal hierarchy continued to decline, and he never regained
the respect or fear he had once commanded. Eventually, Kite Man was captured alongside several other
low-ranking villains, including Sewer King, the Squid, and Mirage. The group was confronted
by inter-gang leader Bruno Mannheim, who sought to consolidate his control over Gotham's criminal
operations. When Kite Man and the others refused to bow to Mannheim's authority, they were brutally
executed. marking the apparent end of Chuck's criminal career. But in post-Flashpoint continuity,
Charles Brown's origin was reimagined, and his character was given a more tragic backstory.
Now referred to as Charlie Brown, he was depicted as a divorced father and an alcoholic, struggling
to find his place in Gotham's underworld. His love for Kites had initially been a way to
bond with his young son, Charlie Jr., who once exclaimed, Kite Man, hell yeah! in excitement
during their kite flying outings. However, when Chuck became involved in a war between the
Joker and the Riddler, his life took a dark turn. Caught in the crossfire of the two villains'
feud, Chuck was used by both sides as a pawn. The Riddler, wanting to hurt Chuck, poisoned
his son's favorite kites, leading to Charlie Jr.'s tragic death. Devastated and consumed
by grief, Charlie fully embraced his criminal alter ego, Kite Man, as a way to seek revenge.
He sided with the Joker in the ongoing war, determined to bring down the Riddler for what
he had done. Throughout the conflict, Kite Man's skills were put to the test, and while his
kites proved useful in battle, he was never able to shake his status as a joke among Gotham's
villains. After the war concluded, Kite Man continued his criminal activities in Gotham,
though he never regained the level of recognition he once sought. Despite his tragic past and
repeated failures, Charlie remains a determined criminal, still using his kite-based gadgets,
sometimes in the aid of Batman, in the hopes of one day gaining the respect he believes
he deserves. Powers-wise, Kite-Man has no innate superhuman abilities, though he does have an
uncanny understanding of aerodynamics and has engineered gliders and gadgets seemingly capable
of defying gravity and physics. His primary engineering marvel is a spring-loaded, collapsible
jet-powered glider. He stores on his back that gives him instantaneous accelerated lift. He's
also a master glider, capable of near impossible acrobatics, acceleration and altitude. He has
also been known to carry small expandable kites that he can use as heavy projectiles or to
transport explosives or to lead trails of gas or other material. He also carries binoculars
and when the need arises, a straight up gun and he will bust a cap if necessary. Binoculars?
I guess he would need those. Yeah, to see far when he's high up in the sky. You had mentioned
at some point during your profile that he got into a fight with Hawkman and for some reason
gave Hawkman and Hawkgirl a hard time in their aerial combat. Which doesn't make a fucking
lick of sense to me. That just makes Hawkman and Hawkgirl look like they suck. Hey, it was
earlier, alright? This isn't like freakin' modern age comics here. Alright, alright. Well, uh...
I think you will be shocked at how many similarities there are between Kite Man's backstory and
Stilt Man's. Let's hear it! Alrighty. Little is known about Wilbur Day's early life, but
as an adult, he earned a PhD in mechanical engineering. He began working as a brilliant but frustrated
scientist at Caxton Laboratories under Carl Caxton, who had developed a hydraulic RAM device.
Feeling overlooked and underappreciated, Wilbur decided to steal Caxton's designs and use them
to engineer a suit of armor equipped with telescopic hydraulic legs. This suit allowed him to tower
high above the ground, granting him an advantage in committing crimes and evading capture. With
this invention, Wilbur became the villain known as Stiltman, using his new abilities to carry
out a string of robberies, largely from high-rises and helicopters. Wilbur sought to steal a molecular
condenser device, another one of Caxton's inventions, but he was opposed by Daredevil, the blind
vigilante of Hell's Kitchen. During their battle, Wilbur was accidentally struck by the condenser's
ray, shrinking him to microscopic size and sending him into a limbo-like dimension. After months
in the Microverse, Wilbur eventually returned to Earth where he resumed his criminal career.
You can learn more about Daredevil in our Nightwing vs Daredevil episode. Constantly modifying
and improving his armor, Wilbur continued to battle Daredevil as well as other heroes, including
Spider-Man and Captain America. His telescopic legs were his greatest asset, allowing him
to extend close to 300 feet, which made him a difficult target for ground-based opponents.
However, despite numerous upgrades to his armor, including concussive blasters, gas dispensers,
and a machine gun, Stiltman was frequently defeated, leading to a reputation as an inept and persistent
criminal. For more about Spider-Man, check out our Blue Beetle vs. Spider-Man episode. One
of Wilbur's more humiliating moments occurred when a small-time crook named Turk Barrett
stole his suit and began using it to commit petty crimes. Angered by this audacity, Wilbur
contacted Daredevil secretly and revealed a weakness in his armor's auto-gyroscopes. With
this knowledge, Daredevil easily defeated Turk and returned the suit to its rightful owner.
After this embarrassing incident, Wilbur upgraded the armor to ensure that no one else could
exploit its weaknesses. Stiltman's criminal ventures took him across the country. In San
Francisco, he kidnapped his former boss Carl Caxton and his daughter to force Caxton into
recreating the molecular condenser, planning to use the device for a major heist. This time,
however, Wilbur was defeated by Daredevil and Black Widow, who foiled his plans and rescued
Caxton. You can learn more about Black Widow in our Black Canary vs. Black Widow episode.
Despite these failures, Wilbur remained determined to enhance his suit and reclaim his reputation.
He later upgraded his armor with secondary adamantium, courtesy of the villain Blastar, which made
the suit virtually indestructible. Feeling invincible, Stiltman even dared to challenge Thor, the
Norse god of thunder. However, the battle ended in defeat when Thor stripped him of his armor,
and had it melted down. Wilbur's career continued to be a mix of minor successes and major defeats.
He was hired to kidnap Assistant District Attorney Maxine Lavender, but failed when Daredevil
intervened. He also clashed with Black Goliath after stealing advanced weaponry from the Trapster.
Using a teleportation gun, Stiltman managed to transport Black Goliath and his companions
to an alien planet, but he was ultimately defeated and forced to flee. In an attempt to regain
his reputation, Stiltman broke into a factory and created a new armor. During the battle
with Spider-Man that followed, Stiltman had a change of heart when Spider-Man saved his
life from a deadly sonic disruptor. Grateful, Wilbur returned the favor by sparing Spider-Man's
life and walking away from the fight. Despite several attempts to leave his life of crime,
Wilbur always found himself returning to villainy. He joined forces with other supervillains,
including the Owl and Gladiator, in an attempt to take control of the Kingpin's criminal empire.
This plot was foiled by Daredevil and Spider-Man, and Wilbur's role in the Underworld was further
diminished. After a string of defeats and embarrassments, including a battle against Iron Man during
the Armour Wars where he was quickly knocked out, Wilbur decided to retire. He visited the
law offices of Nelson and Murdock, declaring his intention to leave behind his criminal
identity. He left his armor and suitcase on Matt Murdock's desk and stormed out, feeling
paranoid accusations that Murdock was the real Kingpin. During the Superhuman Registration
Act, Wilbur saw a chance for redemption. He signed up with the government and was outfitted
with a new suit of armor, this time to serve as law enforcement during the ensuing conflict
between heroes. However, Wilbur's attempt at becoming a reformed hero ended tragically.
While tracking a child pornographer, Wilbur crossed paths with the Punisher, who saw him
as a criminal beyond redemption. The Punisher used an anti-tank missile to destroy Wilbur's
legs and then shot him point-blank, killing him instantly. You can learn more about the
Punisher in our Punisher vs. Red Hood episode. Wilbur's death sparked a wake at the bar with
no name, attended by many of his fellow villains. The gathering devolved into chaos when the
Punisher, disguised as the bartender, poisoned the drinks and blew up the bar in an attempt
to kill everyone inside. However, Wilbur's story didn't end there. He was later resurrected
by the Jackal, a geneticist who specialized in cloning and reviving deceased villains.
Stiltman, along with several other reanimated criminals, was sent out by the Jackal to pursue
Spider-Man. Those actions during this period were largely unsuccessful, Wilbur's legacy
lived on through successors like Lady Stiltman and his brief return to criminal life. Did
you just say Lady Stiltman? It's not Stilt Woman? Yeah, I have no idea why. Her name is Lady
Stiltman. Wow. Powers-wise, Stiltman's abilities come entirely from his suit of powered armor.
The armor gives him enhanced strength and durability, allowing him to lift heavy objects nearly a
ton in weight, punch through walls, and withstand gunfire and attacks from superheroes. His legs
are capable of extending nearly 300 feet, giving him an unparalleled advantage in height and
allowing him to step over buildings or crush vehicles beneath them with swift hydraulic
force. He can extend or shrink his legs and his arms almost instantaneously, giving him
incredible punching and kicking power. Stiltman's battle suit also comes equipped with various
weapons, including a concussive blaster, gas grenades, and a machine gun attached to his
wrist. He can also grease his stilts to prevent anyone from climbing up them. Finally, Stiltman
is a skilled mechanical engineer, having built and improved most of the components of his
armor. And that's Stiltman. So you're telling me one of his villainous tools is lube? Yeah,
yep. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. There was a story that I read in the comics where he basically
tried to franchise out his stilt technology and sell his stilts to other villains. But
they all basically died in battle or got captured. And so he just made everyone else a loser.
It was pretty funny. That's just like Kite Man when he was selling his kites. Yeah. Can Stiltman
extend his arms as far as his legs? That's unknown. I couldn't quite figure that out. He can extend
his arms. I don't know if he could go as far as 300 feet, though. It's possible. 300 feet.
So that's like 30 stories tall. Yeah, about. Yeah. OK. Well, this is going to be a really
interesting match. It's time to find out who rules the skyways.
where fantasies collide and heroes clash, one podcast network rises above the rest. Prepare
yourself for the ultimate showdowns in comic books, video games, movies, and anime. The
Dynomic Podcast Network presents Console Combat, where video game legends brawl every Monday.
Dynamic Podcast Network. Comic Book Titans smash every Tuesday. Max Destruction, where TV and
action heroes battle every Wednesday. And Sendro World, where anime champions clash every Thursday.
Join us as we speculate on the matches and armed with the power of mathematical simulations,
discover who will emerge victorious. Visit dynamicpodcast.com where we settle the debate and settle the score.
Now that we got their histories and abilities out of the way, we're going to speculate on
how one of the 1000 simulated matches will go. The winner is determined by simulations, not
our speculation, but it's fun to imagine how this fight could play out. AJ9K, what are the
rules of our speculation? Well, I should say there are no rules other than the characters
have no prior knowledge of the other going into the fight. All they are aware of starting out
is that the other character is a threat that needs to be eliminated. For the speculation...
The contestants will begin approximately 50 meters apart in a nondescript environment that
will have no bearing on the match itself, as no environmental statistics are considered
in my simulations. The contestants must earn victory on their own merit. Alright then, let's
get into it. Kite Man and Stilt Man meet on the battlefield. Who goes first? I'm going
to say Kite Man starts off by expanding his kite glider and just rocketing straight up
into the air. Okay, I can tell you right now, no matter how fast KiteMan can gain elevation
with his kite, it's not gonna be faster than StiltMan, who can get up to his peak altitude
in seconds. Dude, KiteMan can ascend fast enough to knock people unconscious from the speed.
And StiltMan can grow fast enough to smash through ceilings. Okay, whatever. So as KiteMan is
flying up, all of a sudden he sees StiltMan just rocket past him to get the high ground.
And while... Stiltman is towering above Kite Man. Stiltman stretches down one of his arms
and just punches a hole in Kite Man's glider, causing Kite Man to spiral back down to Earth.
Dude, this kite isn't made of like paper. It's actually pretty durable. So there's no hole
in it. It's just going to, you know, knock Kite Man into a spiral, but he's going to be spiraling
upward. So as he's twisting around Stiltman, you know, gaining altitude, he's going to wrap.
up Stiltman's legs with this kite string that's going to trip Stiltman up and cause him to
fall. And from that height, dude's basically dead, right? No, his armor is durable enough
to protect him from falls from that height. But like, what is this kite string made out
of? Because I'm pretty sure Stiltman can just snap that string by taking a step with his
durable metal legs. It's not cotton, I can tell you that. Okay. It's probably, you know, some
durable metallic thread that he uses to like weave his kites or something. Okay, so, Stiltman's
legs are wrapped up, but to keep from falling, Stiltman is gonna fully retract one of his
legs from the ground, causing it to slip out of the kite string, okay? So he's balancing
with one leg, and with his one leg free, he's gonna point his foot right at Kite Man, and
extend it, just kicking Kite Man right in the face. Dink, okay. So Kite Man, you know, his
eyes are probably pretty blurry from getting kicked in the face. So by the time he regains
his sight, it's too late. He's going to crash straight into Stiltman's one standing leg.
But this is going to work to Kite Man's advantage because the impact is going to knock Stiltman
over for real this time. OK, well, if Kite Man just crashed into Stiltman's legs, you know,
Kite Man's going to be creening through the air and Stiltman, you know, he's toppling over.
So they're both probably just like, fuck. So. Stiltman is gonna regain his footing by extending
his other leg just to catch himself. I'm guessing Kite Man is gonna find a way to correct his
trajectory. But at this point, Stiltman is gonna activate his wrist-mounted machine gun and
just start blasting Kite Man with a hail of bullets. Okay, well, Kite Man is gonna dodge
these bullets by flipping and zipping through the air. And as he's doing that, he's gonna
leave a trail of small kites. that sail up to Stiltman's body. And by the time Stiltman even
notices them, they're close enough so that when they detonate explosively, because they were
bomb kites, it's going to rock him so hard, it's going to topple him to the ground once
again. Except Stiltman did see the explosive kites, and he was able to shoot them out of
the air with his machine gun before they got too close for him to really hurt him. Joke's
on you then, because those kites were distractions, and apparently they worked. Because while Stiltman
is busy shooting those kites, Kite Man's gonna zip past Stiltman's head with a kite string
tied in a noose that's gonna wrap around Stiltman's neck, and Stiltman's just gonna get yanked
real hard, straight up into the stratosphere, like way higher than he's used to. And between
the noose and because he's not used to that low oxygen up there, Stiltman's gonna pass
out. Well, first of all, Stiltman's battle suit has a respirator. So he can breathe in high
elevations, that's fine. He is probably getting choked out. But before that can happen, as
he's being carried up into the air, he's gonna throw a grenade that's gonna explode next to
Kite Man. It's a sleeping gas grenade. It's gonna put Kite Man to sleep, forcing him to
drop the noose. And now they're both just falling from the stratosphere down to earth. Nah, Stilt
Man is falling. Kite Man is gently gliding while asleep. Ha ha ha, all right. Uh, Stiltman is
gonna save himself from the fall by extending his stilts and using them like shock springs.
Okay? And then he's gonna start running after Kite Man using his stilts because Kite Man's
asleep at the wheel flying away, but Stiltman catches up to him with these huge giant strides
and then he extends his arms to land a devastating hammer blow punch. that just knocks Kite Man
out of the air for good with strong hydraulic force. Well, actually, Kite Man, you know,
he's floated long enough that by the time Stilt Man reaches him, he's already woken up. And
so he's able to dodge Stilt Man's attack. And since a hammer blow punch involves, you know,
both hands being interlocked, Kite Man's going to quickly lasso those fists together with
kite string attached to this antenna like kite that's just going to rocket into the atmosphere.
and it's going to get struck by lightning, which is going to send electricity surging through
still a man's metallic suit, just electrocuting him and frank him to a crisp while also teaching
him in his last moments. The same lesson that Benjamin Franklin learned all those years ago.
You don't fuck with kites. What is it raining or something? What the fuck? Like, what kind
of environmental bullshit is that? Why is there lightning all of a sudden? It was an ionized
kite designed to attract lightning. Duh. An ionized kite. I'm calling bullshit. But either
way, Stiltman can detach any part of his stilts or arms if they get trapped. So the only thing
that Kite Man electrocuted was this pair of metal arms. And that is when Stiltman is going
to whip out his concussive blaster pistol and just blast off Kite Man's kite entirely and
Kite Man falls to his death. Oh no no, Kite Man has emergency parachute kites that will
deploy automatically if he's falling too fast. Fine, those get blasted too. What else does
Kite Man have that'll save him? Uh, I mean, he has those get blasted to everything gets
blasted. Kite Man dies. I don't actually think he has anything else anyway, but I'm going
to say that, uh, electricity just moves way too fast, bro. There's no way still man disengages
his arms fast enough to escape the lightning, but it also takes time for lighting to develop.
So yeah, still man had plenty of time. Sorry. I guess we'll leave it there. Either Stiltman
gets electrocuted via a kite and lightning, or Kite Man essentially just falls to his death
after his kite and all of his emergency parachutes get blasted away. We'll go ahead and leave
the match there. Let's find out which of these scenarios happens by running the simulations
for these characters and coming back with a winner. AJ9K, hit it. Inputting data, running
calculations, processing results, simulations complete. All right, that was a fun match.
When I came to figuring out the statistics for each of these characters, I was actually pretty
surprised at how often they came out as equals in some of these categories. Like I thought
Kite Man was gonna be faster than Stilt Man, but it turns out Stilt Man can move pretty
quickly when his legs are really long. Yeah, he also gains altitude really quickly too.
It's interesting that both of these characters, their whole MO is about the aerial advantage,
right? But they both approach it in very different ways. Like Kite Man, he's all about projectiles
and like his trick kites and stuff like that. Whereas Stilt Man is more about like strength
and durability, you know? Yeah, and because of that, obviously Stilt Man came out on top
in the stats of durability and strength, but Kite Man came out on top in terms of versatility
and range, thanks to all of his trick kites. And what was really stupid is that Kite Man
got the edge in perception because he has those binoculars. That's right. You think that Stiltman
would have binoculars, too, or something like that, to enhance his perception. He doesn't
need him because he's still, for the most part, about close quarters combat. Right. Exactly.
Yeah, he's a lot more physical than Kite Man, for sure. We said that they were pretty much
dead even when it came to intelligence. They're, you know, pretty much experts in their respective
fields. But when it came to damage level, still, man, it was just slightly ahead of Kite Man,
which I also thought was surprising. For the most part, these guys are all about you know,
using explosives and various gases. But there's something to be said when you could literally
stop on a car. Yeah. Or punch through a wall, you know. But taking all of these stats into
consideration, Joseph, who do you think? You know, you don't even need to ask before you
even finish your question. It's still man. It's going to be still man. I will finish. I was
going to ask who you thought was going to lose. You think you think I was going to lose. All
right. I think I'm going to lose and still man's going to win. And I think our Instagram followers
misunderstood the question too, because 59% of them are siding with Kite Man. And there's
no way that's right. I mean, the guy does have his own animated series. Just Stilt Man? Is
he cool enough for that? Nope. Well, a version of Stilt Man was in the Daredevil Netflix show,
Turk. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I forgot about that. But he never used the stilts in that
show. So, yeah, probably for the best. But let's find out the results of this week's match.
AJ 9K, the results, please. Hey, you are, sir. The winner of the matchup between Kite Man
and Stilt Man is Stilt Man. Before you even give the answer, it's going to be Stilt Man.
I already know it. I meant loser. So you think the loser is going to be Stilt Man? Yeah, Stilt
Man is the winner of this matchup. He won six hundred and ninety three of the 1000 matches.
or 63.9% compared to Kite Man's 36.1%. That sucked, I'm not gonna lie. I was really looking
forward to winning this matchup so I could just be like, hell yeah. Well, let's all hear your
best hell no. Hell no. I know exactly what that feels like every time Marvel loses a match.
That's what I say inside. It feels so nice to be able to say though that KiteMan is the bigger
loser out of these two. That's depressing. I don't know, maybe it's fitting. Maybe he was
destined for this. This is just the kind of luck that KiteMan would have. And this would
be the first time that Stiltman has accomplished anything, really. So that's interesting. But
that does it for this duel, guys. AG9K, help close this out. Thanks for listening to Dynamic
duel. Visit the show's website at dynamicduel.com and follow us on Instagram at dynamicduelpodcast.
You can support the show on Patreon at patreon.com slash dynamicduel and joining a tier that works
for you, or by rating and reviewing Dynamic duel on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podchaser
or on our website. Don't forget to listen to the other shows in the DynaMic Podcast Network,
including Max Destruction, Senjow World and Console Combat. Our next episode is a tie-in
to this episode, we're gonna be reviewing Kite Man Hell Yeah Season 1. It's of course a spin-off
of Harley Quinn, which is a show that both Jonathan and I love, so hopefully Kite Man Hell Yeah
meets that standard. But that does it for this episode, we want to give a big thanks to our
executive producers Ken Johnson, John Sierowski, Zachary Hepburn, Dustin Belcombe, Miggy Montagueyan,
Brendan Austin Wyselowski, AJ Dunkerley, Scott Camacho, Gil Camacho, Adam Spies, Andrew Shunk,
Dean Molesky, Devin Davis, Joseph Kirsting, and Josh Leiner for helping make this podcast
possible. We'll talk to you guys next week. Up up and away, true believers. Here is my
best hell no. Hells no.