IN THE BROWNS' GARAGE, Encyclopedia and Sally cowered behind the family station wagon, trying not to make a sound. Outside, Justice Antonin Scalia hammered at the garage door with his meaty fist.

"Encyclopedia no está aquí," Encyclopedia said in a high-pitched and unconvincing Spanish accent.

"We need your help," shouted Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. "We have a case that calls into question the fundamental principle of checks and balances." Justice Ginsburg is a liberal jurist who looks something like a plankton-eating deep-sea creature.

Reluctantly, Encyclopedia opened the door and let the Supreme Court in. Justice Clarence Thomas presented him with a stack of legal papers labeled Bush v. Gore et al. Thomas said nothing, as is his custom.

Encyclopedia frowned as he flipped through the briefs. “The language is obtuse and the arguments unsatisfactory and self-serving,” he commented.

“Precisely why we need your help,” Chief Justice Rehnquist said. “We can’t make heads or tails of this stuff.”

Encyclopedia sighed heavily. “Well, I'd better get to work. Can you keep our distinguished jurists busy, Sally?”

“Come on, gang,” Sally said, clapping her hands excitedly. “Everyone out on the driveway for double dutch!"

Sally and Justice David Souter swung the long jump ropes, and the rest of the justices took their turns in the middle, singing “One two three four, Justice Kennedy come in the door, five, six, seven, eight, Justice Breyer, don’t be late.” Meanwhile, Encyclopedia began drafting an opinion in the case of Bush v. Gore. Encyclopedia soon realized that neither side had proposed a solution that would guarantee fair treatment of the candidates under the equal protection doctrine and ensure that the will of the people is reflected in the ultimate winner of the election. He also discovered that both legal teams used "i.e." when they should have used "e.g."

Working quickly, Encyclopedia wrote out a scheme consistent with Florida election law and the Constitutional provisions for appointing electors by a specific date, while also making sure that all untallied ballots would be inspected in a uniform, fair and timely manner.

As the justices mopped their brows—some for the first time in decades—and helped Sally coil her ropes, Encyclopedia summarized his opinion and concluded, “Now if you follow this, we’ll have a resolution that heads off a constitutional crisis and allows the Court to retain the moral high ground and endure as the respected, impartial final arbiter of legal disputes.”

Well-satisfied, the justices took Encyclopedia’s three-page opinion to Washington D.C., and Sally and Encyclopedia went out for ice cream to celebrate the saving of democracy. However, when Sally and Encyclopedia returned home and turned on the television, they saw a live election bulletin in which a “legal expert” on the steps of the Supreme Court thumbed through a thick booklet and declared, “This election has effectively been ended by a 5-to-4 split decision.” Encyclopedia and Sally noticed someone in the corner of the screen lurking behind the legal expert. This mysterious figure was dressed in a Tigers jacket and was carrying a large leather briefcase.

“Bugs!” Sally cried. “He got the justices to ignore your findings, Encyclopedia! But how?”

Encyclopedia grabbed his coat. “We'd better get to Washington and find out.”