...will return on Monday, January 8th. Due to the diversity of our staff—slackers of all religious backgrounds, including a couple of (frankly pretentious) Druids—Modern Humorist is observing eighteen distinct winter holidays. In the meantime, scroll down to enjoy re-wrapped gifts from our archives.

Holiday shopping!: Election t-shirts, novelties, MH gift guide and free e-cards.

Search the site:

The Poll


Thesis
Poop


Results

Previous Polls


New York Sun, December 27th, 1897


Correction

The article entitled "Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus," which appeared in the December 23rd edition of The Sun, contained a factual error. The article stated, "[Claus] exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist…" This is untrue. We regret the mistake and apologize for misinforming our readers.


CATHODE RE:


Holiday Television Must-See:
"Divas... ON ICE! Raisin' Hell at Madison Square Garden" (ABC, 8 P.M.)—Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey vs. New York Rangers.



THAT’S SMARTS!

All Hostess products are flame retardant.



NPR Commentary


Unthawable, the Sequel
David Blaine Speaks from Within the Ice







Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Supreme Court Showdown
The Boy Detective v. Bush v. Gore

MonkeyHotOrNot
Aping the latest Web fad

The Modern Humorist Holy Tango of Poetry
If poets wrote poems whose titles were anagrams of their names

Flori-duh!
And you thought the ballots were confusing

Fantasia
Return of a Disney classic/popular lap dancer

The United States of Romance
A map of love, American style

Name That Baby
A guide for soon-to-be parents

Beyond Auteur Theory
IMDB users review movies, their own lives

Alan Greenspan's Tales of Terror
Halloween treats from the chairman

The Perfect Score
Movie themes by Aerosmith, Disney, Jewel

A Tour of the Trask Museum
America's finest collection of ruthless robber baron art

Behind the Behind the Music: TLC
A Modern Humorist Broadband Bon-Bon

Ask Jeez
Helpful hints from the son of God





On now: Macdonna, The Scottish Wedding


Burning Bush
The mocking of the President 2000

The New Adventures of Encyclopedia Brown
The Case of the Dead Child Beauty Queen, The Case of the Pirated MP3s, etc.

Harry Potter and the Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
A cross-breeding of today's foremost literary talents

Life's Toughest Critics
Zagat surveys existence

The Adventures of Clintin
"The Quest For the Nobel Prize" and other stories

Before There Was E-Mail
Forwarding jokes through history

The Real-Life Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
How to endure karaoke, blood pudding, Billy Bob Thornton

Star Saga: Inside the making of the "Star Saga" saga
Your favorite sci-fi epic as you've never seen it before

First Aid for the Dying Dot-Com
A post-New Economy safety poster

J: The Jerry Magazine
First Oprah, now Rosie... Who's next?

Mirsky Gets Answers On Line
The original Internet celebrity has some questions



Real Advertisement



Copyright 2000 Modern Humorist, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Modern Humorist is not intended for children under 18 years of age.