I dutifully forward someone's great work on...
> I wish I could attribute the following piece to someone, but I don't
> have a name. It's a re-write of that spoken-word song on all the top-40
> radio stations at the moment.
>
> Congrats to whoever put it together, it's brilliant.
> ---------------------
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen of EverQuest, Use Bandages
> If I could offer you only one tip for survival, Bandages would be it.
> The long-term benefits of bandages have been proved by magicians,
> whereas
> the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering
> experience.
>
> I will dispense this advice now.
>
> Enjoy the power and beauty of your starting statistics, oh never mind,
> you will never understand the power and the beauty of your statistics
> until they've been enchanted away. But trust me, in twenty levels, you
> will look back at your stats and recall in a way you can't grasp now,
> how much they really affect your skills. You are not as slow as you
> imagine.
>
> Don't worry about the MOB or worry that know that worrying is as
> affective as trying cast summon a pet without the proper reagent.
>
> The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed
> your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at the entrance to
> Crushbone on some idle Tuesday.
>
> Go one place every day that scares you.
> Sing (if you're a bard).
> Don't steal other peoples' kills; don't put up with people who steal
> yours.
> Forage.
> Don't waste your time on jealously, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes
> you're behind.
> The race is long and in the end, it's only to level 50.
> Remember healing you receive, forget the kill stealers.
> If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
> Keep your old weapons; throw away your old guild tunics.
> Wave.
> Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your character.
> The most interesting people I know didn't know at level 22 what they
> wanted to do with their characters, some of the most interesting 40th
> level players I know still don't.
> Get plenty of mead.
> Be thankful for your starting food, you'll miss them when they're gone.
> Maybe you'll play a Cleric, maybe you won't.
> Maybe you'll be a Necromancer, maybe you won't.
> Maybe you'll delete a Troll Shadow Knight at level 10, maybe you'll play
> a gnome paladin for 75 months.
> Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself
> either.
> Your choices are based on your skills, so are everybody else's.
> Enjoy your emotes.
> Use them every way you can, don't be afraid of it or what other people
> think of them. It's the greatest interface you'll ever own.
> Roll on the floor and laugh.
> Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own guildhall.
> Sense directions even if you don't follow them.
> Do not read Hint Books, they will only give away spoilers.
> Get to know your Game Masters.
> You never know when they'll be gone for good.
> Be nice to your town's npcs. They are your best link to your faction and
> the people most likely to give you quests in the future.
> Understand that friends come and go.
> But a precious few, who should, hold on.
> Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, for as the
> older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were a
> newbie.
> Live in Neriak once, but leave before it makes you hard.
> Live in Kelethin once, but leave before it makes you soft.
> Travel.
> Accept certain inalienable truths: spells and armor will get more
> expensive,
> Player Killers will kill.
> You too will get to a high level and when you do, you'll fanaticize that
> when you were young, spells and armor were reasonable, Player Killers
> were noble and newbies respected advanced players.
> Respect advanced players.
> Don't expect anyone else to support you, even if you're in a group.
> Maybe you find a magic weapon, maybe you'll have a lots of platinum but
> you'll never know when your corpse will be too hard to recover.
> Don't mess too much with your hot keys or by the time you're fortieth
> level, you will be completely confused.
> Be careful whose crafts you buy, but be patient with those who spend
> time creating them.
> Craft making is a form of profession.
> Distributing them is done by finding several ingredients, combining
> them, and selling them to other players for more than their worth to
> shopkeepers.
> But trust me on the bandages.