---
title: 'The New NIH Scoring Rubric: 👍 🤷‍♂️ 😂'
date: 2026-09-01
description: 'BETHESDA, MD—The National Institutes of Health announced Tuesday that it would replace its 50-year-old numerical scoring system with a streamlined three-emoji format, in which grant applications will…'
kind: quote
source_url: 'https://inpreparation.substack.com/p/nih-simplifies-grant-scoring-to'
source_author: 'In Preparation'
source_context: 'satirical science news, in the spirit of The Onion'
tags:
  - 'funding'
  - 'satire'
---

BETHESDA, MD—The National Institutes of Health announced Tuesday that it would replace its 50-year-old numerical scoring system with a streamlined three-emoji format, in which grant applications will receive either a thumbs up (👍), a shrug (🤷‍♂️), or a laughing face (😂).

“The old system created a false sense of precision,” said NIH Director Jay Bhattacharya. “A researcher would get a 23 and think, how is my grant different from a 27? Now there’s clarity. You get a thumbs up, you’re in the conversation. You get a shrug, it could go either way. **You get crying laughter, well, you know where you stand.”** \[…\]