Chorus: Go forward bravely. O Comedy, you are lagging.
Chorus: By Zeus, not indeed before that, but you were a hound's thong;
Chorus: But now Chirindas is better able to walk than you.
Chorus: O Stymodorus Condylos, best of the jurors,
Chorus: Is Euergetides here somewhere or is it Chabes the Phlyean?
Chorus: Come, then, what remains, alas! woe!
Chorus: when in that youth we were together in Byzantium.
Chorus: I and you, guarding; and then walking about by night
Chorus: We stole the pestle from the bread-seller without her knowing,
Chorus: And then we will touch the jar, having split it open.
Chorus: But let us dance, men, as it will be for Laches now;
Chorus: They say that he has a seal for all money.
Chorus: So yesterday Cleon, our guardian, told us to come at the right time.
Chorus: Having brought for three days a malicious anger.
Chorus: against him, as if he had wronged those who were angry. But
Chorus: Let us hasten, men of my age, before it becomes day.
Chorus: Let us go, and with the lamp let us search everywhere,
Chorus: Lest perhaps some stone hinder us from doing some evil.
Boy: Guard this lump of clay, father, father!
Chorus: taking a wisp of straw from the ground, now light the lamp with a snuffer.
Boy: No, but I think I will light the lamp in this way.
Chorus: What then have you learned, that you push the wick with your finger?
Chorus: And these things, when olive oil was scarce, did you perceive?
Chorus: for it will not sting you, when it is necessary to buy something valuable.
Boy: If, by Zeus, you are going to admonish us again with your knuckles,
Boy: Having extinguished the lamps, let us go home alone.
Boy: And then perhaps, having been deprived in this darkness,
Boy: you will stir up the clay as you walk, like a grasshopper.
Chorus: Indeed, I punish you and others more severely.
Chorus: but this fellow seems to me to be mud to the one treading.
Chorus: And there is no way, not even for four days at the very most.
Chorus: We must necessarily make the god water.
Chorus: At least, the mushrooms are coming with the torches.
Chorus: But when this is the case, he loves above all to make rain.
Chorus: And it needs the figs too, which are not yet ripe.
Chorus: to become water and blow a north wind upon them.
Chorus: What is this, then, that you are not the co-defendant of this household?
Chorus: Has he suffered something, as he does not appear here to the crowd?
Chorus: No, it was not before the flute-player, but was first among us.
Chorus: He would lead singing of Phrynichus; for indeed he is a man
Chorus: A lover of song. But it seems to me, men, to stand here now.
Chorus: To call him out singing, if perhaps he hears something.
Chorus: Let my song creep forth from pleasure.
Chorus: Why then, do you not show yourselves before the doors to us, old man, or listen?
Chorus: Has he destroyed the ones?
Chorus: a trap, or I stumbled in.
Chorus: "To the darkness, a finger, somewhere,"
Chorus: Then I was burned up right there.
Chorus: the hammer of an old man being present?
Chorus: And soon he might get the bubo.
Chorus: Indeed, he was much sharper of those among us,
Chorus: and even alone he would not have been persuaded,
Chorus: but whenever he might encounter him
Chorus: someone, bending down this way from below
Chorus: "You were boiling a stone,' he said."
Chorus: Perhaps because of yesterday's man, who was crawling through us.
Chorus: deceiving and saying
Chorus: how Athen-loving he was and
Chorus: Let him first speak of the events in Samos,
Chorus: having been pained because of this,
Chorus: Then perhaps he is lying down with a fever.
Chorus: for there is such a man.
Chorus: But, good man, rise up and do not treat yourself so badly.
Chorus: Eat, but do not be angry.
Chorus: For a fat man has come.
Chorus: of those who betrayed the things in Thrace;
Chorus: that he may bury him.
Chorus: Go now, boy, go.
Boy: So what will you want of me, then?
Boy: Father, if I should ask you for anything?
Chorus: Very much so, child. But tell me,
Chorus: What do you want me to buy?
Chorus: A good thing? I think, however, you will say knucklebones.
Chorus: surely, boy.
Boy: By Zeus, but hold your tongue, grandpa!
Boy: For it is sweeter.
Chorus: not even
Chorus: By Zeus, if you are indeed hanged.
Boy: By Zeus, I will not escort you anymore.
Chorus: for from this little wage
Chorus: he must have barley-meal a third time, and wood and a sieve.
Chorus: Oh dear! You are asking me for figs.
Boy: Come now, father, if not
Boy: the court is in session.
Boy: Sit down now, from where shall we buy?
Boy: 'Is it the best? Do you have hope?'
Boy: some good, or
Boy: Did Greece manage to find a sacred place?
Chorus: Alas, alas!
Chorus: By Zeus, I do not know at all!
Chorus: But where will the dinner be?
Child: Why, then, did you, dear mother, bear me?
Chorus: so that you may provide me with things to raise.
Boy: Wretched, then, I had you as a trinket, little bag.
Boy: Oh yes. We have been groaning.
Philocleon: Friends, I am melting indeed
Philocleon: for a long time through the hole
Philocleon: I am listening to you.
Philocleon: But for all that, I am not able.
Philocleon: To sing. What shall I do?
Philocleon: I am being guarded by these, since
Philocleon: I have long wanted to be with you.
Philocleon: having come to the baskets.
Philocleon: to do some bad thing.
Philokleon: but, O Zeus, Zeus, having thundered greatly
Philocleon: Or make me smoke suddenly
Philocleon: Either Proxenides or Sello's son.
Philocleon: This chariot-driver.
Philocleon: dare to grant me this favor, lord,
Philocleon: a suffering that is pitiable; or me with a thunderbolt
Philocleon: 'Rake it quickly with a hot ember,'
Philocleon: And then, taking me up, he would puff me out.
Philocleon: throw it into hot brine.
Philocleon: Or at least make me a stone upon which
Philocleon: they are counting the piglets.
Chorus: For who is he who is restraining you from these things?
Chorus: And you're knocking at the door? Speak!
Chorus: for towards friendly phrases.
Philocleon: My son. But do not shout; for he happens to be here.
Philocleon: Here he is, sleeping right in front. But get down from the rope.
Chorus: But does he, you fool, wish to do these things next?
Chorus: And what pretext do you have?
Philocleon: He won't let me, then, men, judge, nor do any evil thing,
Philocleon: But he is ready to feast me; but I do not wish to.
Chorus: This is what that filthy fellow dared to do.
Chorus: Here is Demolochus,
Chorus: because you are saying something about the ships.
Chorus: True. For never would...
Chorus: This man dared to do this.
Chorus: to speak, if
Chorus: there was no conspirator.
Chorus: but from these, it is time for you to seek some new idea,
Chorus: She will cause you to come down here secretly to the house of this man.
Philocleon: So who could it be? Look for him, as I would do anything!
Philocleon: So let him get through the boards, wrapped in a pigskin.
Chorus: There is, by Zeus, a hole of whatever kind you might be able to dig out from within,
Chorus: Then, having hidden in rags like the much-resourceful Odysseus, [will you] come out?
Philocleon: Everything is cooked and there is no way, not even for a slave, to get through.
Philocleon: But something else must be sought by you; for there is no way for the onion to be made.
Chorus: Remember, then, when you once stole the skewers during a military expedition
Chorus: Jump yourself quickly against the wall, just as Naxos was taken.
Philocleon: I know it; but what is this? For this is in no way like that.
Philocleon: For when I was young and strong enough to steal, I was myself stronger than myself,
Philocleon: And no one watched me, but I was free to go.
Philocleon: 'To flee without fear. But now with weapons.'
Philocleon: Men of hoplite rank, line up!
Philocleon: They are keeping watch from the outlets,
Philocleon: but the two of them, at the doors.
Philocleon: just as if a weasel had stolen some meat
Philocleon: They are guarding them holding spits.
Chorus: but now also bring him out
Chorus: a machine as quickly as possible. Until
Chorus: for, you little bee.
Philocleon: So it is best for me to drag the net.
Philocleon: But may the net forgive me for the net.
Chorus: These things are for a man who is not striving for safety.
Chorus: But bring on the jaw.
Philocleon: This one has been stabbed. But do not shout at all,
Philocleon: But let us be watchful so that Bdelycleon may not find out.
Chorus: do not be afraid, O woman, not at all.
Chorus: How I, if he should grumble,
Chorus: What, shall I bite her?
Chorus: the heart and that concerning the soul
Chorus: to run a race, so that he may know
Chorus: do not tread on the
Chorus: The decrees of the gods.
Chorus: but, having pulled it through the window, then put it in the ground.
Chorus: having bound yourself and having filled your soul with Diopeithes' [counsel].
Philocleon: Come now, if I notice this fellow, I will have him climb the wall.
Philokleon: And he makes it possible to drag it in, what will you do? Tell me now.
Chorus: We all ward off your angry temper, having summoned it.
Chorus: So it will not be possible to restrain you; we will do such things.
Philocleon: I shall therefore do it confidently for you, and — do you understand? — if I suffer anything,
Philocleon: Having killed and beaten me to death, to strike me under the dry-wood.
Chorus: He will persuade nothing; do not fear anything. But, best of men, sit down.
Chorus: trusting in yourself and having made vows to your ancestral gods.
Philocleon: O Lord Lyce, hero of the neighborhood; for you rejoice in the very same things that I do,
Philocleon: with the tears of the fleeing ones and also with the lamentations;
Philocleon: At least you came here on purpose, didn't you, to hear this?
Philocleon: And you were chosen to sit alone among the heroes next to the one who is weeping.
Philocleon: Have pity and save now your neighbor;
Philocleon: And I certainly will not urinate beside your canes, nor will I relieve myself there.
Bdelycleon: Get up, this one.
Xanthias: What is the matter?
Bdelycleon: As if some voice has been encircled.
Xanthias: Is the old man slipping away again somewhere?
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, no indeed, but he is being humbled.
Bdelycles: having bound himself.
Xanthias: Oh most wretched one, what are you doing? Won't he come down?
Bdelucleon: climb up, having finished, down the other [way] and strike with the leaves,
Bdelycleon: If somehow, struck by the oars, he gets his stern turned around.
Philocleon: You will not gather as many as those who are about to become judges,
Philocleon: O Smicythion and Tisias and Chremon and Pheredeipnus?
Philocleon: When, if not now, will you help me, before you lead me even more inside?
Chorus: tell me what we are delaying to stir up that gall,
Chorus: The very one, whenever one of us gets angry at the wasp?
Chorus: now that, now that
Chorus: the good-tempered one, whom we flog,
Chorus: the point is sharpened.
Chorus: But put on your coats as quickly as possible, children,
Chorus: Throw and shout, and announce these things to Cleon,
Chorus: And command him to come.
Chorus: just as for a man-hater
Chorus: being and being washed, since
Chorus: Carry this speech,
Chorus: Do not pass judgments.
Bdelucléon: O good men, listen to the matter, but do not shout.
Chorus: By Zeus, up to the sky!
Bdelycleon: As for this, I will not let go.
Chorus: These things are surely not terrible, and tyranny is clearly evident?
Chorus: O city and enemy of the gods of Theorus,
Chorus: Or if anyone else among us stands forward as a flatterer.
Xanthias: Hercules, they have stings too. Don't you see, master?
Bdelycleon: Those by whom they lost Philip the son of Gorgias in court.
Chorus: and we will destroy you too, them; but turn around, everyone.
Chorus: Bring the sting here and the handle, then throw it at him.
Chorus: full of orderly excitement and fury,
Chorus: so that the swarm may know well for the future what it angered.
Xanthias: This is a terrible thing, by Zeus, if we fight.
Xanthias: Just as I see them, I fear the straps.
Chorus: But let the man go; if not, I say so.
Chorus: to bless the tortoises, you [have] the skin.
Philocleon: Come now, fellow jurymen, sharp-hearted wasps,
Philocleon: Let them go to their own anus, angry,
Philocleon: But you, go around and jab at the eyes, and [jab] the fingers.
Bdelycléon: Oh Midas and Phryx, come here and help, and Masintys,
Bdelycleon: 'And take hold of this fellow and do not let him go to anyone.'
Bdelycleon: but if not, in thick fetters you will not dine at all.
Bdelucleon: As I have heard from many, I know the noise of the wasps.
Chorus: But if you do not release this man, where will a boot stick to you?
Philocleon: O Cecrops, hero, lord of the things near the feet of Draco,
Philocleon: You watch me being handled in this way by barbarian men,
Philocleon: Those whom I taught to weep four into the choinix?
Chorus: Then surely there are not many terrible evils for old age?
Chorus: that is; and now indeed, this [one], the old master
Chorus: they handle it by force, remembering nothing of the past.
Chorus: of leather and of ox-hide sandals, which this man bought for them,
Chorus: And the dogs; and the feet are useful even when winter is present,
Chorus: So that he does not shiver at every turn, but these men have no power.
Chorus: Nor is there any shame even in the eyes of the old matrons.
Philocleon: Will you not even now let me go, you most wicked beast,
Philocleon: nor when you were reminded, having found the grapes, that you were stealing them?
Philocleon: drawing it towards the olive, he drew it off well and manfully,
Philokleon: So you are to be envied? And so you were ungrateful.
Philocleon: But let me go, both of you, before my son runs out.
Chorus: But these men will quickly give us a fine trial,
Chorus: No longer far, so that he may be seen what kind of way of men it is.
Chorus: sharp-witted and just and seeing chard.
Bdelycleon: hit, hit, oh Xanthias, the wasps from the house.
Xanthias: But I do that; but you too are blinded by the great smoke.
Sosias: Won't you beat him? Won't you go to the crows? Won't you go away? Strike him with the stick.
Xanthias: and you, adding Aeschines, burn Sellarcius.
Xanthias: Were we ever going to stop you with time?
Bdelyclēon: But by Zeus, you would not so easily have escaped them,
Bdelycleon: if indeed I happened to have eaten the songs of Philocleon.
Chorus: Then surely they are not manifest?
Chorus: tyranny is for the poor,
Chorus: 'How secretly she deceived me.'
Chorus: if you, you wretch, have labored with pain and have combed your hair,
Chorus: You are keeping us away from the laws that the city established,
Chorus: having neither any pretext
Chorus: neither a witty remark,
Chorus: He himself, ruler alone?
Bdelycleon: There is a way without battle and without the shrill cry.
Bdelycleon: Should we come to terms with each other and make a reconciliation?
Chorus: and your words, you hater of the people and lover of monarchy,
Chorus: and having met with Brasidas and wearing fringes
Chorus: feeding the ninth bed of the garland without a sound?
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, it would be better for me to have completely broken away from my father.
Bdelycleon: Rather than to fight battles at sea every day with so many disasters.
Chorus: No, indeed, it is not in the celery, nor is it in the trough;
Chorus: for this we shall interject from the three-cubit verses.
Chorus: But now you feel no pain, but when you are an advocate
Chorus: May the same things happen to you, and may you call conspirators.
Bdelukleon: Would you, by the gods, please go away from me?
Bdelycles: Do I think that I ought to be beating and keep on beating all day?
Chorus: Never, no, not until something else is mine.
Chorus: whoever of us has been stationed in this way for tyranny.
Bdelycles: how a tyranny is everything for you, and you are conspirators,
Bdelycleon: whether it is a greater or lesser matter that anyone accuses,
Bdelucleon: I have never heard that name, not even at the age of fifty;
Bdeluclion: But now it is much more worthy of brine,
Bdelucléon: So now even her name is rolling around in the marketplace.
Bdelucléon: If someone buys a swallow, but does not want to buy a membrane,
Bdelycleon: the seller has just sold the membranes nearby.
Bdeluclēon: 'This fellow looks like he is buying votes in order to become a tyrant.'
Bdelycleon: If it asks for a sweetmeat with its paws,
Bdelycleon: the vegetable-seller, having overlooked, says to the other:
Bdelycleon: Tell me, are you asking for a sorcery charm? Is it for a tyranny,
Bdelucleon: Or do you think that Athens brings you delicacies?
Xanthias: And the prostitute also yesterday, after I had entered in the middle of the day,
Xanthias: because I commanded him to bray, she became angry with me.
Xanthias: It would be rowing if I were to set up Hippias' tyranny.
Bdelucleon: for it is pleasant for these men to hear this, even if now I...
Bdelycleon: that my father, freed from these things, does whatever I wish.
Bdelycleon: of upright, night-wandering, fig-eating, law-suiting, wretched ways
Bdelycleon: I have a reason to live a noble life like Morychus.
Bdelycleon: To do these things as a conspirator and thinking tyrannical thoughts.
Philocleon: By Zeus, that's in order; for I would not even milk birds.
Philocleon: I would take in exchange for my life whatever it is that you are now depriving me of;
Philocleon: I take no pleasure in either eels or lampreys, but rather, more pleasantly...
Philocleon: I would like to eat a tiny little fig, boiled in a pot.
Bdelucleon: By Zeus, for you are accustomed to delight in such affairs.
Bdelucleon: But if you will endure it in silence and learn what I say,
Bdelucleon: I think I shall teach you that you are making mistakes in all these things.
Philocleon: Am I making a mistake in judging?
Bdelucleon: So, then, being laughed at
Bdelucléon: you do not understand that you are being led by men whom you alone do not worship.
Bdelycleon: But you have escaped notice while being a slave.
Philocleon: Stop talking about slavery,
Philocleon: whoever rules over all things.
Bdelycleon: Not you, but you are serving.
Bdelycleon: thinking that he rules; well then, teach us, father,
Bdelycleon: Such is the honor for you, enjoying Greece.
Philocleon: Yes indeed, and with these I wish to entrust [the matter].
Bdelycleon: And indeed, I (am the one).
Bdelucléon: Let him go now, all of you.
Philocleon: And give me a sword too.
Philocleon: For if I am defeated while speaking, I shall fall by the sword.
Bdelycleon: tell me, what was the terrible thing, that you did not remain in your way of life?
Philocleon: May I never receive a reward for good fortune from unmixed wine.
Chorus: now indeed [he comes] from our side
Chorus: it is necessary to say something about the gymnasium.
Chorus: a new thing, how it will appear—
Bdelycleon: Let someone bring me here the box as quickly as possible.
Bdelycleon: But will he appear, whoever he is, if you give these instructions?
Chorus: not according to the young man
Chorus: Saying this. For you see how
Chorus: a great contest is yours.
Chorus: and concerning all things,
Chorus: if so, which may the gods forbid, this
Chorus: He wants to master you.
Bdelycleon: And indeed, whatever he says, I will simply write down as memorials.
Philocleon: For what will you say, if this man conquers me with his speech?
Chorus: no longer a crowd of old men
Chorus: It is useful, not unfruitful;
Chorus: being mocked on the streets
Chorus: we are called 'bough-bearers', [and] oath-sworn
Chorus: shells.
Chorus: But you, who are about to give an opposing speech concerning the entire kingdom,
Chorus: With confidence now, torture every tongue of ours.
Philocleon: And so, straightaway from the flutes I will demonstrate concerning the office.
Philocleon: He is inferior to none of our kingdoms.
Philocleon: For what could be happier and more blessed than a juror is now,
Philocleon: Is there a more tender or more terrible creature, and this one too, from an old man?
Philocleon: whom first, while creeping from his bed, they watch as he lies on the dry branches.
Philocleon: Great men and four-cubit men; and then straightway approaching
Philocleon: She slips her soft hand, the secret-keeper of the public offices, into mine.
Philocleon: They entreat, bowing, with a mournful wailing voice;
Philocleon: I beg you, father, pity me, if you yourself have never before been in debt.
Philocleon: 'Having begun a life either in the army or buying for his messmates.'
Philocleon: I would not even know him while alive if not for his earlier escape.
Bdelycleon: Let this be my reminder regarding those who are suing.
Philocleon: and then, having entered, having been greeted, and having had his anger mollified.
Philocleon: I have done nothing inside of these things of which I say that they are all.
Philocleon: But I am listening to all the sounds they are making to make an escape.
Philocleon: Come, let me see, for what flattery is there not to be heard here from a juror?
Philocleon: the former indeed cut off their own poverty and add
Philocleon: terrible things against my ears, until he will equalize them to my things.
Philocleon: and some tell us stories, and others something funny from Aesop;
Philocleon: And they mock, so that I may laugh and lay down my anger.
Philocleon: And even if we are not persuaded by these, we shall immediately pull up the child.
Philocleon: the females and the sons of the hand, but I am listening.
Philocleon: And when they have crouched down together, they bleat; and then the father over them
Philocleon: Just as if he were shaking to release me from the responsibility like a god;
Philokleon: If you are pleased by the bleating of a lamb, have pity on the voice of a child.
Philocleon: But if I am again delighted with the little pigs, persuade me to listen to my daughter's voice.
Philocleon: And at that time we let a little of the anger out of our butts.
Philocleon: Is not this a great beginning, even for a rich man?
Bdelycleon: I am now writing this a second time, the shackle of wealth;
Bdelycleon: And while claiming to rule Greece, do not forget the good things that you have.
Philocleon: So, when boys are being examined, one can see their private parts.
Philocleon: Even if Oiaxros enters while fleeing, he does not escape until he does so to us.
Philocleon: having selected the most beautiful speech from the Niobe, he spoke.
Philocleon: Even if a flute-player wins the lawsuit, this is our handhold.
Philocleon: I sounded the bugle for the judges to go out as they were leaving.
Philocleon: And may my father, even while dying, give him a legacy, leaving behind an heiress.
Philocleon: to weep for a long time, having said the will.
Philocleon: and with the shell, the very solemn one, which is inlaid with the markings,
Philocleon: Let us eat, whoever shall come and persuade us.
Philocleon: And we do these things without liability, but of the others there is no beginning.
Bdelucléon: for this is a noble thing, for these things which you have said, I count you blessed;
Bdelucléon: You are violating the will of the heiress by twisting it around.
Philocleon: Moreover, whenever the council and the people find themselves at a loss over a great matter to decide,
Philocleon: it has been decreed to hand over those who commit injustice to the jurors;
Philocleon: And then Euaethlus and this great Colaconymus, the shield-thrower.
Philocleon: They say that he will not betray us, but that he will fight about the multitude.
Philocleon: and in the assembly no one has ever prevailed with their opinion, unless
Philocleon: Tell the jury to release them first, after they have judged one case;
Philocleon: But Cleon himself, the one who only shouts at us, does not trim us.
Philocleon: but keep it in your hand and ward off the flies as well.
Philocleon: But you have never done any of these things to your father at all.
Philocleon: But Theorus, although he is the son of Euphemius, is no less [a man],
Philocleon: Having the sponge from the basin, he is wiping our tunic.
Philocleon: consider me from the good things of which you barred me and shut me out,
Philocleon: You said you would show that it was slavery and service.
Bdelucléon: I will fill [it] by speaking; for certainly you will stop it at some time and make it appear.
Bdelyclēon: a rectum that comes to be the drain of the very venerable office.
Philocleon: But this is the most pleasant of all these things, about which I had forgotten.
Philocleon: When I go home having the reward, and then I come back, all of us together.
Philocleon: Let them greet because of the money, and first of all my daughter [does so].
Philocleon: wash your feet, anoint your feet, and after bending down, kiss.
Philocleon: And while puffing his cheeks with his tongue, he whistles the obol,
Philocleon: and that he might have brought me a flint-and-steel cake, having cajoled my wife,
Philocleon: And then, sitting down by me, you force me, 'Eat this,'
Philocleon: Eat this! I am delighted by these things, and you will not need to ask me.
Philocleon: to look at you and the treasurer, whenever he will serve breakfast.
Philocleon: Having cursed and roared. But unless you quickly box me,
Philocleon: I have acquired this problem, a shield for the arrows.
Philocleon: Don't offer me wine to drink, I have brought this donkey myself.
Philocleon: a full cup of wine, and then I pour it down the drain; but he stands with his mouth open
Philocleon: after having snorted your dung, he has become very bold and an army.
Philocleon: Am I not ruling a great office, and not one bit less than Zeus's?
Philocleon: Who is it that hears these same things as Zeus?
Philocleon: But if we make a disturbance,
Philocleon: 'What does everyone who is passing by say,'
Philocleon: What a thundering the court is!
Philocleon: O king Zeus.
Philocleon: And if I even flash my eyes, they pop their eyes.
Philocleon: And even the rich have bribed me.
Philocleon: And very dignified.
Philocleon: And you yourself fear me most of all;
Philocleon: By Demeter, you are afraid, but I...
Philocleon: May I perish if I fear you.
Chorus: never before so purely
Chorus: We have heard of no one, nor
Chorus: speaking wisely.
Philocleon: No, but you thought that he would be so easily caught.
Philocleon: For I well knew that I am the best at this.
Chorus: and now it has come to pass in general.
Chorus: and nothing has passed, so that I...
Chorus: I used to grow, listening,
Chorus: and to judge among the blessed
Chorus: I myself thought of islands,
Chorus: taking pleasure in speaking.
Philocleon: As this man is already frothing with rage and is not in his right mind.
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, I will make you look like a Scythian today.
Chorus: but you must weave all kinds [of things].
Chorus: to avert danger, clap your hands.
Chorus: For indeed to quench my anger
Chorus: It is difficult for a young man.
Chorus: Do not speak to me.
Chorus: In response to this, you should seek a good millstone and one freshly cut,
Chorus: If you say nothing, [something] which will be able to quell my spirit.
Bdelukleon: it is difficult and terrible, and greater than among the comic poets.
Bdelycleon: to cure an ancient disease that has been born in the city.
Bdelycléon: but, oh our father, son of Cronus —
Philocleon: Stop and do not act like a father.
Philocleon: for if it is not that I am a slave, teach me this quickly,
Philocleon: You will certainly die, even if you try to refrain from consuming my entrails.
Bdelycleon: Now listen, my little daddy, and relax your brow a little.
Bdelucleon: first of all, decide badly, not by ballot, but by hand.
Bdelycleon: the tax that is coming, let us collect it from the cities in a lump sum for us;
Bdelycleon: And outside this, the taxes without and the many tenths,
Bdelycleon: prisons, mines, markets, harbors, courts, and public auctions.
Bdelycleon: The sum of these amounts to nearly two thousand talents for us.
Bdelycleon: from this point on, set a fee for the jurors for a year.
Bdelyclēon: Six thousand, and no more than that, have been settled in the country,
Bdelycleon: About a hundred and fifty talents are coming to us.
Philokleon: And even the tenth part of the rewards that are coming to us is not being produced.
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, not so.
Philocleon: And where then do the other funds go?
Bdelycleon: I will not betray these men's Athenian scarecrow,
Bdelycleon: But I will always fight for the multitude. For you, father, [do] them
Bdelycleon: I choose to rule, having been corrupted by these little words.
Bdelycleon: and then these men take bribes of fifty talents.
Bdelycleon: threatening in this way and causing fear from the cities,
Bdelucleon: Pay the tax, or I will thunder and overturn your city.
Bdelycleon: But you, while nibbling the edges of your own honeycombs, enjoy your office.
Bdelucleon: but the allies, as soon as they discovered, the one is a rascal, the other...
Bdelucléon: spewing forth from a basket and roaring out nonsense,
Bdelucleon: They consider you the ballot of Connus, but to these they bring bribes.
Bdelucleon: olives, wine, cakes, cheese, honey, sesame, pillows
Bdelycleon: bowls, cloaks, wreaths, door-handles, drinking-cups, wealth and health.
Bdelucleon: but you, having plundered many things on land and many on the sea,
Bdelycleon: No one gives even a head of garlic to the boiled things.
Philocleon: By Zeus, but even I myself summoned three more potters from Eucharides.
Philocleon: But you are not shaming me by not revealing to me this very slavery.
Bdelycleon: For it is not a great slavery to have all these men in office.
Bdelycleon: and that they are also the flatterers who receive a salary from them?
Bdelycleon: but if someone gives you the three obols, you are glad; those that you yourself spend
Bdelucléon: And while fighting on foot and besieging, you acquired many hardships.
Bdelycleon: And on top of that, while being ordered, you go around, which is what most chokes me,
Bdelycleon: When a boy from the rear, son of Chaereus, enters for you,
Bdelycleon: thus having stepped over, having been shaken with the body and having become tender-flowered,
Bdelycleon: Tell him to come early and at the proper hour to be judged, like anyone of you who
Bdelycleon: whoever comes after the signal will not receive the three-obol fee;
Bdelycleon: he himself brings the forensic fee, even if he comes later;
Bdelycleon: and a partner of one of the other rulers along with himself,
Bdelucleon: If anyone gives something from the fugitives, let us, the two of us, settle the affair.
Bdelycles: You have been hurried, and then, as with a saw, one pulls and the other pushes back.
Bdelycleon: but you gape at the codpiece-gnawer, and what is being done to you has escaped your notice.
Philocleon: Do you do these things to me? Alas, what are you saying? You are agitating my soul so much,
Philocleon: And you are bringing my mind to attention, rather, and you do not know what you are making me do.
Bdelycleon: consider, then, how it is possible for you to become rich and for everyone else as well.
Bdelucleon: I do not know under what circumstances you have been enrolled among those who always stir up strife,
Bdelucleon: whoever is a ruler of the most cities from the Pontus as far as Sardis.
Bdelucleon: You enjoy nothing except this, which you bring barren; and this, too, for wool, you have.
Bdelycleon: They drip a little at a time, always for the sake of living, just like oil.
Bdelucleon: for they want you to be poor; and this is the reason why I will speak to you,
Bdelycleon: so that you may know the tamer, and then whenever he bites you.
Bdelycleon: having leaped upon some enemy, you jump savagely at them.
Bdelycleon: for if they had wanted to provide a livelihood for the people, it would have been easy.
Bdelycleon: Indeed, there are a thousand cities that now carry tribute to us;
Bdelucleon: 'If anyone ordered each one of these to feed twenty men,'
Bdelucleon: Twenty thousand of the common people would have lived on hares in every way.
Bdelycleon: both with garlands of all kinds and with a firebrand,
Bdelycleon: enjoying things worthy of the earth and the trophy at Marathon.
Bdelycleon: Now then, march off like flute-players at the same time as the one who has the pay.
Philocleon: Alas! What have I suffered? How the numbness is pouring over my hand,
Philocleon: and I am unable to hold the sword, but I am already soft.
Bdelycleon: But whenever they themselves vote, they give up Euboea.
Bdelycleon: They supply you with grain at the rate of fifty medimnoi.
Bdelycleon: to provide; but they have never given you anything except five medimnoi just yesterday,
Bdelucleon: And even these, barely fleeing the guest-friendship, you accepted by the choinix measure of barley.
Bdelycleon: for which reason I always shut you out
Bdelucleon: wanting to pasture them and not these ones.
Bdeluicleon: to sneer at you with a sneer.
Bdelycleon: And now, in truth, I wish to provide.
Bdelycleon: "Whatever you wish for yourself,"
Bdelucleon: except for the milk of a flatterer, drink.
Chorus: Surely he was a wise man who used to say, 'Before you hear the story of both sides,'
Chorus: You would not be able to judge. For indeed, you have now appeared to me to win by a great margin;
Chorus: So now, having loosened my anger, I put down the clubs.
Chorus: But, O companion of our own age,
Chorus: Obey, obey with words, and do not become foolish.
Chorus: Do not be an excessively staring and unmeasured man.
Chorus: If only a guardian or a relative had been mine!
Chorus: there is someone who gave such advice.
Chorus: But now some god is present to you, manifest.
Chorus: he is being caught in the affair,
Chorus: And he is clearly doing well;
Chorus: But you, being present, accept it.
Bdeluclion: Yes, indeed, I will rear him, providing [food].
Bdelucleon: Whatever is advantageous for an old man, a chunk.
Bdelycleon: to lick, a soft cloak, a sisyrion,
Bdelycleon: a whore, who will rub the penis.
Bdelucleon: and the loins.
BDEL: But that he is silent and grunts at nothing,
Bdelycleon: This cannot be added to me.
Chorus: he has taken advice for the affairs, which
Chorus: Then you went mad, for he has just realized it.
Chorus: It reckons all those things as mistakes.
Chorus: He did not obey your orders.
Chorus: Now, perhaps, he is persuaded by your words.
Chorus: Yet he does come to his senses, by changing places.
Chorus: in the future the manner
Chorus: having been persuaded by you.
Philocleon: Oh woe is me, woe is me.
Bdelucleon: Who is shouting this?
Philocleon: Do not promise me anything about these things.
Philocleon: I long for those men; may I be there!
Philocleon: So that the herald says, 'Who has not voted? Let him stand up.'
Philocleon: And I wish I were on the roof-tiles!
Philocleon: 'Let the last one be voted on.'
Philocleon: Hurry, O soul. Where is my soul?
Philocleon: Take it, oh shadowy one. By Heracles
Philocleon: But now, I [will not be] among the jurors?
Philocleon: May I catch Kleon stealing!
Bdelucleon: Come on, father, persuade me, by the gods!
Philocleon: What should I believe? Say whatever you want except one thing.
Bdelucleon: Of whom? Let me see.
Philocleon: not to judge. But this
Philocleon: Hades will judge before I will suffer.
Bdelucleon: but you, since you have rejoiced in doing this,
Bdelucleon: no longer step that way, but here.
Bdelycleon: staying right here, judge the slaves.
Philocleon: About what? Why are you talking nonsense?
Bdelycleon: the very same things as are done there;
Bdelucléon: because the wasp opened the door stealthily,
Bdelycleon: Vote a single penalty for this one.
Bdelycleon: But certainly, even there, he will sit there every time.
Bdelycleon: And these things are now reasonable, if it succeeds.
Bdelucleon: I shall catch [it] early in the morning, and it will roast in the sun.
Bdelycleon: but if it snows, sitting by the fire;
Bdeluclion: When it is raining, come in; and if it is still midday,
Bdelycleon: No one will bar you from the court by means of the railing.
Philocleon: This pleases me.
Bdelycleon: and besides this, if [he is] a law...
Bdelycleon: Let someone say it from a distance; wait without being hungry.
Bdelycleon: biting yourself and the one who is defending himself.
Philocleon: How then shall I be able to judge well?
Philokleon: just as before, still chewing on the matters?
Bdelyclēon: Much better, for it is said that this man,
Bdelycleon: 'Just like the jurors [are swayed] by lying witnesses.'
Bdelucléon: They only realized the matter after chewing it over.
Philocleon: 'How do you persuade me. But you are not yet telling that,'
Philocleon: From where will I receive the fee?
Bdelycleon: by me.
Philocleon: well,
Philocleon: For I will take it by myself, not with someone else.
Philocleon: for Lysistratos has done me most shamefully.
Philocleon: the jester. Having taken a drachma from me the day before yesterday
Philocleon: having come, he chopped up among the fish,
Philocleon: And then he put three saws on me.
Philocleon: And I lit the fire; for I thought I would receive an obol;
Philocleon: And then, having been disgusted and sniffing, I spat out.
Philocleon: And then I dragged him.
Bdelycleon: But what did he say in response to this?
Philokleon: What?
Philocleon: 'He said that I have a rooster's belly.'
Philocleon: 'You'll quickly get your money back,' he said.
Bdelycleon: Do you see that even this is, then, profitable for you?
Philocleon: Not at all small. But do what you are about to do.
Bdelycleon: Wait now; I will bring these things.
Philocleon: Watch the money; how the accounts are being finished.
Philocleon: For he has heard that the Athenians once
Philocleon: 'Let them try the lawsuits at the houses,'
Philokleon: And every man would build in the forecourts
Philocleon: a very small court for himself,
Philocleon: Just like Hecataeus, everywhere before the doors.
Bdelucleon: Look, what will you say now? As if I bear everything!
Bdelucléon: 'Whatever they said, and even much more.'
Bdelyclēon: if you are not going to urinate, then here.
Bdelycleon: I will hang [it] near you on the handle of the shield.
Philocleon: This is clever and suitable even for an old man.
Philocleon: You have discovered, in truth, a cure for strangury.
Bdelucleon: And that is fire, indeed; and lentils have stuck to it.
Bdelycléon: to suck, if it is necessary for something.
Philocleon: This again is a good omen;
Philocleon: And even if I have a fever, I will receive the fee, at least.
Philocleon: For, remaining right here, I shall drink up the lentil soup.
Philocleon: But why did you bring the bird out to me?
Bdelukleon: so that, whenever you sleep while someone is defending himself,
Bdelycleon: Singing from above, this fellow here is waking you up.
Philocleon: I still long for one thing, but the rest please me.
Bdelucleon: What is it?
Philocleon: If you can somehow smuggle out the wolf's den.
Bdelycleon: This is present, and this man himself is the master.
Philocleon: Oh master, hero, how hard you were to look at.
Bdelycleon: The sort of person Cleonymus seems to us to be.
Philocleon: Surely even a hero does not have weapons.
Bdelycleon: if you were sitting down sooner, sooner you would have received a penalty.
Bdelycleon: 'We were calling.'
Philocleon: Call him now, as I have been sitting here for a long time.
Bdelycléon: Well then, what lawsuit should I bring against him first?
Bdelucleon: Who has done some evil in the house?
Bdelycleon: The Thracian woman, having burned the pot yesterday—
Philocleon: Hold this one! You almost destroyed me.
Philocleon: You are about to call the trial without a thorn-bush.
Philokleon: What first seemed to us from the sacred rites?
Bdelucléon: By Zeus, he is not present.
Philocleon: but I, having run
Philocleon: I myself will fetch it immediately from inside.
Bdelucléon: What in the world is the matter? What a terrible thing is love of litigation.
Sosias: Kick them to the crows. To raise such a dog!
Bdelycleon: And what is it truly?
Sosias: for Labes is not yet
Sosias: The dog, sneaking into the oven, snatched it.
Sosias: Has he eaten a Sicilian cheese rind?
Bdelycleon: Is this then the first injustice towards my father?
Bdelycleon: I must be admitted; but you were accusing while present.
Sosias: By Zeus, not I; but another says it is a dog.
Sosias: He will prosecute, if someone brings a public suit.
Bdelycléon: Go now, bring him here.
Sosias: This must be done.
Bdelycleon: What is this?
Philocleon: a pig-sty of Hestia.
Bdelycles: Then, after having committed sacrilege, do you bring [it]?
Philocleon: No, but so that
Philocleon: Starting from Hestia, I will rub someone.
Philocleon: But bring him in, having finished. As I see, he honors.
Bdelycleon: Now, bring the boards and the paintings.
Philocleon: Alas, you are wasting your time and will lose the three-day trial.
Philocleon: But I was wanting to thresh the threshing floor.
Bdelycleon: Look!
Philocleon: Call him now.
Bdelycleon: This is indeed so. Who is this man here?
Bdelycleon: Is the first one here?
Philocleon: 'To the crows, how I'm fed up!'
Philocleon: because I forgot to carry out the jars.
Bdelycleon: You, where are you running?
Philocleon: onto the baskets.
Bdelyclēon: may it not be tamed.
Bdelycleon: for I had these verses written in anapests.
Philokleon: Very well then; for everything is available to us.
Philocleon: Of all the things we need, except, to be sure, the hourglass.
Bdelycleon: But who is sweet now? Is it not the water-clock?
Philokleon: You produce them very well and in a local manner.
Bdelycleon: But let someone carry out fire as quickly as possible.
Bdelycleon: and myrrh and the incense inside,
Bdelycleon: so that we may first pray to the gods.
Chorus: And indeed, we are upon the libations
Chorus: and with the prayers
Chorus: We will tell you a good report,
Chorus: because they bravely came from the war
Chorus: And they were partners in the quarrel.
Bdelycleon: Let there be silence first of all now.
Chorus: O Phoebus Apollo Pythian, with good fortune
Chorus: the thing which he is contriving
Chorus: This man is in front of the doors,
Chorus: to fit for all of us
Chorus: To those who have ceased wandering.
Chorus: Iēiē Paian.
Bdelycléon: Oh master, lord, neighbor, Agylieus, door-keeper of the forecourt,
Bdelycleon: Receive a new initiation, O lord, which we are inventing for your father,
Bdeluclēon: stop this excessively sour and uncouth character of his,
Bdelycleon: having mixed a little with the incense instead of the slave's honey.
Bdelucléon: It is already time for the men
Bdelucléon: "Gentle him,"
Bdelycleon: to pity those who are fleeing all the more
Bdelycles: of those who were convicted
Bdelucléon: 'and they beg to be wept for too,'
Bdelucleon: "and having ceased from the difficulty"
Bdelycleon: from the anger
Bdelucléon: to take the nettle away.
Chorus: We pray together for the same things as you and we sing too.
Chorus: on account of the new beginnings because of the things previously said.
Chorus: For we have been well-disposed since.
Chorus: We have perceived your people.
Chorus: loving as no man [loves]
Chorus: of the younger ones.
Chorus: iē, Paean.
Bdelucleon: If any juror is at the doors, let him come in;
Bdelucleon: as often as they say, we will not be sealed.
Philocleon: Who is the one fleeing?
Bdelycleon: this one.
Philocleon: As much as he will be caught.
Bdelycléon: listen now to the indictment. He was indicted.
Bdelucleon: A Cynic of the Kydathenaion district, take the dog Aison.
Bdelyclēon: 'He is wronging the cheese because he alone ate it.'
Bdelucleon: the Sicilian one. The price is a fig-syrup goat.
Philocleon: Death, then, is canine, once it is caught.
Bdelycleon: And indeed this fugitive here, Labes, is coming.
Philocleon: O this filthy fellow! How he looks even while stealing,
Philocleon: He thinks that, having been bribed, he will deceive me.
Philocleon: Where is the pursuer, the Cynic dog?
Dog: hoo hoo.
Bdelycleon: This one is here.
Philocleon: This is another Labes.
Bdelycleon: He is good at barking and breaking pots.
Bdelycleon: Be quiet, sit down; and you, having climbed up, brought the charges.
Philocleon: Come on, then, let me suckle her too, having thrust in my spear.
Sosias: I heard the indictment which I wrote.
Sosias: Men of the jury, this fellow. For he is most dreadful
Sosias: He has done deeds to me as well and to the rypapais.
Sosias: For having slipped away into the corner, a great deal of cheese.
Sosias: he used to hit me and hit me in the dark —
Philocleon: By Zeus, but it is clear; at least to me.
Philocleon: he just now drew out the very worst cheese.
Philocleon: This wretch.
Sosias: And he did not give it to me, the one asking.
Sosias: and yet who will be able to do you good,
Sosias: Or will someone else not put forward something for the dog as well?
Philocleon: He has not given me anything, nor even to me in common.
Philocleon: For a man is no less hot than lentil soup.
Bdelycleon: By the gods, do not prejudge, father,
Bdelukleon: before you hear both.
Philocleon: But, good sir,
Philocleon: The matter is clear; for it itself cries out.
Sosias: Now, do not let him go, since he is actually a great deal
Sosias: 'the most gluttonous of all men among dogs,'
Sosias: whoever, having sailed around the wasp in a circle
Sosias: The scorpion has eaten its way out of the cities.
Philocleon: But for me, I cannot even sculpt the hybris.
Sosias: Punish this fellow for these things; for he will never
Sosias: Can one thief's loaf feed two?
Sosias: so that I do not scream through empty space in any other way;
Sosias: If not, I shall not cry out from now on.
Philocleon: ouch, ouch.
Philocleon: As many tricks as he accused.
Philocleon: Stealing the man's money; don't you think so too?
Philocleon: O cock! By Zeus, you're definitely giving me the eye-roll.
Philocleon: The lawgiver; where is he? Let him give me a jar.
Bdelycleon: He himself will knock down; for I have kicked the witnesses.
Bdelucleon: Have the witnesses bring a bowl with them.
Bdelycleon: a double cheese-skin, a griddle, a pot,
Bdelucléon: And the rest, the burnt vessels.
Bdelycleon: But you still urinate and sit down, not yet?
Philocleon: I'll be sure to defecate on this fellow today.
Bdelycleon: And you certainly won't stop being difficult and uncooperative,
Bdelycléon: And even these things to those who are fleeing, but does he gnaw at them?
Bdelukleon: Come up, defend yourself. Why are you silent? Speak.
Philocleon: But this man seems not to have anything to say.
Bdelycleon: No, but that one seems to have suffered,
Bdelycleon: which also happened to Thucydides when he was once fleeing;
Bdelycleon: Suddenly he became paralyzed, his jaws.
Bdelucleon: Get out of the way, for I will make my defense.
Bdelucleon: it is indeed difficult, men, for a slandered person
Bdelycleon: To answer at great length like a dog, I will say it anyway.
Bdelycles: for he is good and he pursues the wolves.
Philocleon: So he is a thief and a conspirator.
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, but he is the best of the dogs of today.
Bdelycleon: able to stand over many sheep.
Philokleon: So what is the point, if he eats the cheese?
Bdelycleon: What? He fights in front and guards the door for you.
Bdelycleon: and as for everything else he is excellent; but if he stole,
Bdelycleon: Forgive me. For he does not know how to play the cithara.
Philocleon: But I should not even want to write letters,
Philocleon: so that, while doing evil, you might not enroll this speech among us.
Bdelycleon: Listen, my dear friend, to the witnesses.
Bdelycleon: climb up the cheese-stick and lie down loudly;
Bdelycleon: for you happened to be acting as steward. Answer clearly,
Bdelycleon: if you had not caught the soldiers in a net.
Bdelyclēon: He says to crush him.
Philocleon: By Zeus, but he is lying.
Bdelucléon: O wretched man, have pity on those who are suffering!
Bdelycleon: for this Labes also eats his neck.
Bdelycleon: And even the thorns, and never stays in the same place.
Bdelycleon: but the other is only a housekeeper.
Bdelycleon: for staying there, whatever someone brings in
Bdelycleon: He begs a share of these; but if not, he bites.
Philokleon: Alas! What evil is there for whom I am softening?
Philocleon: a bad thing is happening to me, and yet I am persuaded.
Bdelycleon: Come, I beg you, have pity on him, father.
Bdelycleon: And do not corrupt them. Where are the children?
Bdelukleon: Get up, you wretched and squirming one!
Bdelucleon: beg, plead, and weep.
Philocleon: Come down, come down, come down, come down.
Bdelycleon: I shall come down.
Bdelycleon: Yet this going down is indeed very much disliked.
Bdelucléon: He was deceived. Nevertheless, I shall go down.
Philocleon: To hell with it! For sucking is not a good thing.
Philocleon: For I have shed tears over my opinion now.
Philokleon: never anything but full of lentils.
Bdelycléon: 'Then he surely will not escape?'
Philocleon: It is difficult to know.
Bdelycleon: Come, turn your mind to better things.
Bdelycleon: taking this ballot [and placing it] on the later one
Bdelycleon: cut off the fetters and release him, father.
Philocleon: Not at all; for I do not know how to play the lyre.
Bdelucleon: come now, I will take you around here as quickly as possible.
Philocleon: Is this the first one?
Bdelycleon: This one.
Philocleon: This is here.
Bdelucleon: He has been deceived and has escaped, not willingly.
Bdelycleon: Come, let us get rid of him.
Philocleon: How, then, did we contend?
Bdelycleon: He seems about to show it. You have escaped, O Labes.
Bdelyclēon: Father, father, what have you suffered? Alas! Where is the water?
Bdelycleon: Lift yourself up.
Philocleon: tell me that now,
Philocleon: Did he really escape?
Bdelycleon: By Zeus!
Philocleon: Then I am nothing.
Bdelycleon: Do not worry, O wretch; but get up.
Philocleon: How then will I persuade myself of this?
Philocleon: Having sent away a man while he was fleeing, what am I to suffer, then?
Philocleon: But, O most highly honored gods, forgive me;
Philocleon: For I did it unwillingly, and it is not in my nature.
Bdelucleon: And don't be annoyed, then. For I, father, ...
Bdelycleon: I will rear him well, taking him with me everywhere,
Bdelycleon: to dinner, to a drinking party, to a spectacle,
Bdelycleon: so that you may live happily for the rest of your life;
Bdelycleon: And Hyperbolus will not bore you by deceiving you.
Bdelycléon: but let us go inside.
Philokleon: These things, then, if it seems good.
Chorus: But come, rejoicing, wherever you wish.
Chorus: But you, myriads, for now
Chorus: countless,
Chorus: now the things that are to be spoken well
Chorus: May he not fall ignominiously to the ground!
Chorus: beware.
Chorus: for this [is] for the left-handed spectators
Chorus: It is suffering, not from you.
Chorus: Now again, pay attention to the speech, if indeed you love anything pure.
Chorus: for now the poet desires to criticize the spectators.
Chorus: for he says that they wrong him, even though he has done them many good deeds first,
Chorus: not openly, but secretly aiding other poets,
Chorus: having imitated Eurycleus' prophecy and intention,
Chorus: to pour forth many comic things, clad in other people's bellies.
Chorus: after this, now also openly in danger on his own account,
Chorus: having steered the mouths of not alien but familiar Muses.
Chorus: Having been raised great and honored as no one has ever been among you,
Chorus: He says that he has not been puffed up so as to accomplish anything, nor to swell his pride,
Chorus: Do not even try to revel around the wrestling-school; nor even if some lover
Chorus: he hastened towards him, hating that he was being mocked as a child.
Chorus: He says that he has never yet trusted anyone, holding a moderate opinion,
Chorus: so that he may use the Muses as guides and not as spokesmen.
Chorus: nor even when he first began to teach, he says, did he set upon men,
Chorus: but, having some anger of Heracles, he undertakes the greatest things,
Chorus: boldly, having scraped him right from the start, the tooth-grinder,
Chorus: for most terrible rays from the eyes of Cynna were shining,
Chorus: And a hundred heads of flatterers, wailing, licked round about.
Chorus: about the head, and she had the voice of a ravine that had given birth to destruction,
Chorus: the smell of a seal, the unclean testicles of Lamia, and the anus of a camel.
Chorus: 'Seeing such a portent, he says he would not have been bribed out of fear,'
Chorus: but he still fights even now for your sake; and he says that he is with him.
Chorus: to attempt to attack the weak ones last year and the feverish ones,
Chorus: who strangled their fathers at night and choked their grandfathers,
Chorus: reclining on the couches because of your idleness
Chorus: he glued together counter-oaths and summonses and testimonies,
Chorus: So that many, fearing, jump up, like the polemarcus.
Chorus: having found such a protector and purifier of this country,
Chorus: You traitor, you who sowed him last year with most novel schemes,
Chorus: Those [crimes] which you have made yourselves ungrateful because of not knowing clearly.
Chorus: And yet, while pouring many libations on many occasions, he swears by Dionysus.
Chorus: Never have you heard anything better than these comic verses.
Chorus: This, then, is shameful for you, for those who do not immediately understand it,
Chorus: But the poet is not considered any worse than the wise men,
Chorus: if, while driving past, he crushed the opponents' ingenuity.
Chorus: but from now on, of the poets
Chorus: O you wretches, you who are looking for!
Chorus: to say something new and to invent it.
Chorus: Love them more and serve them,
Chorus: And preserve their thoughts!
Chorus: Throw them into the coffers!
Chorus: with the apples. And if these things are done,
Chorus: For you, once a year, the clothes
Chorus: It will smell of cleverness.
Chorus: Oh we who were once mighty in the dances,
Chorus: and the brave ones in battles,
Chorus: And precisely for this very reason, most valiant men;
Chorus: there was once before this, but now...
Chorus: It is gone, and now it is even more grey than a swan.
Chorus: These hairs are blossoming.
Chorus: but even from the remains one must [do it].
Chorus: to have the youthful strength of these;
Chorus: as I consider my own view
Chorus: old age is better than many things
Chorus: [I] sing of the youths and
Chorus: a figure and a broad-bottomed man.
Chorus: If any of you, spectators, having seen my nature,
Chorus: Then he wonders at me, seeing me in the middle, stung through and through,
Chorus: What is our appetite for the wasp,
Chorus: Easily I will teach, even if he were unmelodious before.
Chorus: We are those to whom this 'wiggling of the nose' belongs,
Chorus: The Athenians alone are legitimately born natives, indigenous,
Chorus: a most manly race and most numerous this city
Chorus: They were useful in battles, whenever the barbarian came,
Chorus: The smoke, like a whirlwind, is burning down the whole city,
Chorus: to take away by force our plans for the Anthesteria.
Chorus: for immediately they will rush out with spear and with shield.
Chorus: We fought with them, having drunk sharp wine,
Chorus: A man standing beside a man, eating his tortoise shell in anger;
Chorus: And the sky could not be seen because of the arrows.
Chorus: but nevertheless we rose at dawn to wait until evening with the gods.
Chorus: For an owl was flying over our army before we fought;
Chorus: and then we followed, acting like tunny-fish, into the pouches,
Chorus: but they fled, stinging with their jaws and eyebrows;
Chorus: so that among the barbarians everywhere and even now
Chorus: Let no wasp be called more manly than an Attic one.
Chorus: Was it then so terrible that he did not fear anything?
Chorus: and I destroyed it
Chorus: The enemies, sailing there with the triremes?
Chorus: for there was no way for us
Chorus: At that time we were about to speak well, but not
Chorus: to defraud someone
Chorus: Anxiety, but whoever will be a rower
Chorus: Excellent. Therefore, many.
Chorus: having captured the cities of the Medes
Chorus: most deserving of being treated
Chorus: We have come here with the tribute, which they steal.
Chorus: the younger men.
Chorus: looking for us in many places, you will find us in everything.
Chorus: most like wasps in their habits and way of life.
Chorus: for first of all no animal of ours has been provoked
Chorus: He is rather sharp-tempered, but not more difficult;
Chorus: Then we devise all the rest, the same things, for the wasps.
Chorus: For, having been gathered according to the festivals, just as on the Anthesteria,
Chorus: some of us are under the one who rules, others by the Eleven,
Chorus: some are judging in the singing room, others are near the small walls.
Chorus: having been beaten closely, nodding towards the ground, barely
Chorus: just as the worms move in the honeycombs.
Chorus: And in the rest of our manner of life we are most well provided.
Chorus: for we will sting the man and will find a living.
Chorus: but for bees are settled among us.
Chorus: not having a sting, those who remain of our tax
Chorus: they eat the trouble, not suffering.
Chorus: This is the most painful thing for us, if someone, while not having served in the army,
Chorus: He will have drained off our reward, on account of this country.
Chorus: taking neither an oar nor a spear nor a blister.
Chorus: But it seems to me, for the rest of the citizens, to be short.
Chorus: Whoever does not have the sting, must not bring a triobolus.
Philocleon: Never while I am alive shall I strip off this one,
Philocleon: since he alone saved me when I was lying stretched out,
Philocleon: when the great north wind marched against it.
Bdelycleon: It seems that you desire to suffer nothing good.
Philocleon: By Zeus, for it is by no means beneficial to me.
Philocleon: for even before now I was filled with charcoal-burners.
Philocleon: He has paid the fuller the three-obol debt.
Bdelucleon: But let him try it, since he has once
Bdelukleôn: you have surrendered yourself to me to do me good.
Philocleon: So what do you order me to do?
Bdelucleon: "Let go of the cloak."
Bdelycleon: put on this cloak like a Cynic.
Philocleon: "Then one ought to plant and raise children,"
Philocleon: Does this fellow want to choke me right now?
Bdelycleon: Take this and put it off, and do not chatter.
Philocleon: What is this evil, by all the gods?
Bdeluclion: some call it a Persian rug, others a sheepskin.
Philocleon: And I thought Sisura was Thymaitides.
Bdelycleon: Nor is it surprising; for you have not gone to Sardis.
Bdelucléon: You would have known, for now you do not know.
Philocleon: Me?
Philocleon: By Zeus, not so! But it seems to me
Philocleon: He most resembles the snout of a pig.
Bdeluclion: No, but in Ecbatana these things are being woven.
Philocleon: In Ecbatana do thistles grow?
Bdelycleon: Where are you, my good man? But this is for the barbarians.
Bdelucleon: It is woven with many expenses. This, indeed,
Bdelycleon: he has bought a talent's worth of wool easily.
Philocleon: Well, then, it was surely right to call her an old woman.
Philocleon: more just than a dog?
BDELUCLEON: Hold on, good man,
Bdelycleon: Stand up, struggling to breathe.
Philocleon: Alas, wretched me!
Philocleon: How hotly that filthy one cursed me.
Bdelycleon: "Will you not delay?"
Philocleon: By Zeus, not I. But, good sir,
Philokleon: if indeed it is necessary, carry me on a mat.
Bdelucléon: Come now, but I will wrap you up; so then, go on.
Philocleon: Put it on, but also put on a meat-hook.
Bdelycleon: What is it? What then?
Philocleon: so that you may lead me out before I have been utterly torn apart.
Bdelycleon: Come now, untie the accursed slippers,
Bdelycleon: Having done these things, put on the Spartan shoes.
Philocleon: for I would dare to put on shoes at some point
Philocleon: blows from hostile men, blows from enemies?
Bdelycleon: Put it in, then, and get out with all your might!
Bdelycles: having accomplished [it] into Laconia.
Philocleon: You have been stung, you!
Philocleon: stepping down into the hostile [ground] with his foot.
Bdelycleon: Bring the other one too.
Philocleon: not at all, indeed, since
Philocleon: there is one of his fingers that is very fond of biting.
Bdelucleon: There is nothing else beside these things.
Philocleon: Woe is me,
Philocleon: Whoever will not get a crumb in his old age, I will not take.
Bdelycleon: Finish it, put on your shoes at last; then, richly.
Bdelycleon: Step forward thus and give a little tender shake.
Philocleon: Look. Give me the shape, and examine me in what way
Philocleon: I most resemble the walk of the rich.
Bdelycleon: To whom? To Dorthion, dressed in garlic.
Philokleon: Yes, indeed, I am eager to sodomize you.
Bdelucléon: Come now, you will learn to speak solemn speeches.
Bdelycleon: "Of men present, learned and skilled?"
Philocleon: Certainly.
Bdelycleon: What, pray, would you say?
Philocleon: very many.
Philocleon: First, just as Lamis, having been captured, farted,
Philocleon: And then, just as Cardopion [did] his mother.
Bdelucleon: not stories to me, but of human affairs,
Bdelucleon: The kind of people we say are the most domestic.
Philocleon: So I know, at any rate, everything very much about the household.
Philocleon: That one was a mouse and a cat, so to speak.
Bdelycleon: O scoundrel and uneducated one, Theogenes said
Bdelycleon: reviling the dung-seller even with these things,
Bdelycleon: Are you about to speak of mice and weasels among men?
Philokleon: What sort of people, then, should we say?
Bdelucleon: "magnificent,"
Bdelycleon: as you were accustomed to conspire with Androcles and Cleisthenes.
Philocleon: But I have never before seen anything like this.
Philocleon: except to Paros, and that too carrying only two obols.
Bdelycles: but nevertheless you must say how he immediately fought
Bdelycleon: 'The pankration of Euphion is going well for Askondas.'
Bdelycleon: already being old and grey, and having indeed
Bdelycleon: a very deep side, and arms, and a loin, and
Bdelucléon: "The finest breastplate."
Philocleon: Stop, stop, you are saying nothing.
Philocleon: How could he wrestle the pancratium while wearing a breastplate?
Bdelycleon: Thus do the wise tell their stories.
Bdelycleon: But tell me something else: among foreign men
Bdelycleon: Drinking your own, what do you think you would say?
Bdelycleon: 'A very manly deed in one's youth?'
Philocleon: That one, that one, the most courageous of mine,
Philocleon: When I borrowed Ergasias' jars.
Bdelycleon: You will destroy me. What stakes? But as if [I were] a boar.
Bdelycleon: Did you once pursue a thigh, or a torch?
Bdelycleon: You ran off, finding something very youthful.
Philocleon: Well, then, I know at least the most youthful part;
Philokleon: when the runner Phayllos was yet a bull-calf
Philocleon: I seized, while pursuing, the vote for two accusations.
Bdelycleon: Ah! But come here and reclining, learn more.
Bdelucleon: he is sociable and a good companion.
Philocleon: Then how shall I recline? Tell me when you have finished.
Bdelycles: 'Respectably.'
Philocleon: Do you order me to lie down in this way?
Bdelycléon: Not at all.
Philocleon: "But how?"
Bdelycleon: extend your knees and [do it] athletically.
Bdelycleon: wet yourself on the couches.
Bdelucleon: Then praise something of the bronze castings,
Bdelycleon: Look at the roof, wonder at the reed of the court!
Bdelycleon: Water on the hand! Bring the tables!
Bdelycleon: Let us dine. Let us recline. We are already pouring the libation.
Philocleon: By the gods, let us have a dream meal?
Bdelyclēon: the aulos-player blew into the instrument; and the drinking companions
Bdelucleon: There are Theorus, Aeschines, Phanus, and Cleon.
Bdelycleon: Another stranger, on top of Acestor's head.
Bdelycleon: sitting with them, let him show the drinking songs well.
Philocleon: Really? As no one from the Diakria will accept [it].
Bdelycleon: I shall know it; for indeed I am Cleon.
Bdelycléon: I sing first of Harmodius; but receive it, you.
Bdelyclēon: No man has ever been born in Athens—
Philocleon: Not so clever, nor a thief.
Bdelycleon: You will do this? He will walk by shouting;
Bdelycleon: For he will say that he will destroy you and ruin you.
Bdelycleon: and to drive out of this land.
Philocleon: But as for me,
Philocleon: If he threatens, by Zeus, I shall sing a different song;
Philocleon: O man, this one who is seeking great power,
Philocleon: You will yet disgrace the city; but she has a leaning.
Bdelycléon: But what when Theorus lies at someone's feet?
Bdelycleon: He sings, taking hold of Kleon's right hand;
Bdelycleon: Having heard Admetus' story, friend, love the good men.
Bdelycles: What crooked thing will you say to this man?
Philocleon: Like a singer, I.
Philocleon: There is no fox-hunting,
Philocleon: Not even to both of them is it pleasing.
Bdelycles: After him, Aeschines son of Sella will receive [him].
Bdelucleon: A wise and musical man, and he will sing.
Bdelucleon: money and violence.
Bdelucleon: And to Cleitagoras and to me.
Bdelycleon: With the Thessalians—
Philocleon: you have certainly strutted about a lot, and I too.
Bdelycleon: this, at least, you certainly understand.
Bdelycleon: How about going to Philoctemon's for dinner?
Bdelucleon: Son, son, prepare the dinner for us, Chryse,
Bdelycleon: so that we may also get drunk from time to time.
Philocleon: Not at all.
Philocleon: Drinking is bad; for it comes from wine.
Philocleon: and to knock at the door and to strike and to throw,
Philocleon: and then pay back the money while still hungover.
Bdelycles: No, unless you mix with good and noble men.
Bdelycléon: For either they have declined the one who has suffered,
Bdelucleon: "Did you speak a witty remark yourself,"
Bdelycleon: Is it an Aesopic joke or a Sybaritic one?
Bdelucleon: [the things] which you learned at the symposium; and then [they led] to laughter.
Bdelycleon: you turned the case, so that, leaving you, he is going away.
Philocleon: So it must be learned, the many of the speeches,
Philocleon: If I pay nothing, if I do anything bad.
Bdelucléon: Come then, let us go; let nothing hold us back.
Chorus: Indeed, I have often seemed clever to myself.
Chorus: and he is not left-handed at all.
Chorus: but Amynias, the son of Sellus, is more of a Crobyle than [one of the others],
Chorus: This one, whom I once saw instead of an apple and a quince.
Chorus: while dining with Leogorus;
Chorus: for he is hungry just like Antiphon;
Chorus: for he went as an envoy to Pharsalus, and then there
Chorus: alone with the alone.
Chorus: to the Penestae was accustomed to the
Chorus: He was a Penest of the Thessalians, being inferior to no one.
Chorus: O blessed Automenes, how we bless you,
Chorus: You have planted children so that they are the most crafty;
Chorus: first, to all, a man most wise is dear,
Chorus: the most skillful lyre-singer, whom charm followed;
Chorus: for the other actor, as if he were wise, is a difficult task;
Chorus: then, a very much most passionate thing, Aripfrades,
Chorus: whom he swore, having learned from no one,
Chorus: but from a wise nature to learn spontaneously
Chorus: to act as a tongue-licker for those entering the brothels at any time.
Chorus: Are there some who said that I had been reconciled,
Chorus: Whenever Kleon was upsetting me while lying in wait
Chorus: And he bit me with the worst [words]; and then, when I was waking up,
Chorus: seeing him who, crying loudly, was an object of pity and laughter,
Chorus: There is no song of mine, so far as I only want to know.
Chorus: If I am sad, I will let out a little mockery.
Chorus: Seeing this, I threw it under a small one.
Chorus: Then now the pickaxe has deceived the vine.
Xanthias: O blessed tortoises, your skin!
Xanthias: and thrice blessed are the tiles on the side of the roof.
Xanthias: how well you have dug, and like a mole!
Xanthias: with a pot to cover his back so that it might shield the blows.
Xanthias: As for me, I am ruined from being bitten by a wasp.
Chorus: What is it, boy? For he is a boy, even if he is an old man,
Chorus: it is right to call [him] a man whoever receives blows.
Xanthias: For the old man was not the most reckless evil, then.
Xanthias: 'And the most drunken of those who live together?'
Xanthias: And yet Hippias, Antiphon, Lycon were present.
Xanthias: Lysistratos, Thuphrastos, those around Phrynichos.
Xanthias: Of all these, he was by far the most insolent.
Xanthias: for as soon as he was filled with many good things,
Xanthias: he drove, he skipped, he farted, he mocked.
Xanthias: just like a roasted chickpea that is well-fed.
Xanthias: and he beat me like a young man, boy, for the sake of fine deeds.
Xanthias: and then, just as Lysistratos hit him, he saw him.
Xanthias: You look like a young vintage, old man.
Xanthias: to the crier who has fled into the straw.
Xanthias: And the one who shouted back has taken him off to the brothel.
Xanthias: to the one who has cast off the fleas of the cloak,
Xanthias: For Sthenelos, who has been fitted out with all the gear.
Xanthias: But they clapped their hands, except Thuphrastus alone;
Xanthias: But this fellow was acting like a real smart aleck.
Xanthias: The old man asked Thrasyllus, 'Tell me,'
Xanthias: you pretend to be well-groomed and dandy.
Xanthias: 'A comic poet-buggers always about the man who is doing well?'
Xanthias: 'He thus insulted them in detail,'
Xanthias: mocking coarsely and also speaking words
Xanthias: utterly foolish, indeed not in accordance with the matter.
Xanthias: Then, since he was drunk, he is going home.
Xanthias: beating everyone, whoever he meets.
Xanthias: Here he comes, and indeed he is stumbling.
Xanthias: But I will get out of the way before I receive blows.
Philocleon: endure and provide.
Philocleon: Someone behind will weep.
Philocleon: They follow along with me.
Philocleon: just like, if you were not to speak, you
Philocleon: O wretches, here
Philocleon: I will make torches ready with a brand.
Xumotes: By Zeus, you will pay the penalty for these things tomorrow.
Xumotus: To all of us, even if you are indeed a young man.
A certain Xymotus: For we shall come to you in a body, summoning you.
Philocleon: hey, hey, come!
Philocleon: 'Old, indeed, is yours; do you perhaps know?'
Philocleon: As I do not even listen, I endure it.
Philocleon: Lawsuits? Aye, aye, aye.
Philocleon: I like these things; throw in the wasps.
Philocleon: He is not going away? Where is he for us?
Philocleon: a juror? Get out of the way.
Philocleon: Come up here, golden-washed!
Philocleon: Grasping the rope with this hand.
Philocleon: Take it; and watch out, because the rope is rotten;
Philocleon: Nevertheless, though he is being rubbed, he is not annoyed.
Philocleon: Do you see how skillfully I borrowed it?
Philocleon: the Lesbian woman is already about to sing to the drinking companions;
Philocleon: Give this dog a favor on account of those things.
Philocleon: But you will not give it back, nor will you be terrifying; I know that.
Philocleon: But you will deceive and cheat this man greatly;
Philocleon: for you have already done this to many and others as well.
Philokleon: But if she should turn out not to be a bad woman now,
Philocleon: "I, whenever my son dies,"
Philocleon: Having loosed the concubine outside, o little pig.
Philocleon: But now I do not have control over my own money.
Philocleon: for I am young and I am closely watched.
Philocleon: for my own housekeeper is guarding me, and she is difficult.
Philocleon: I'm also a cumin-grinding, celery-carving, parsnip-sculpting.
Philocleon: So he fears these things about me lest I be corrupted.
Philocleon: For he has no father except me.
Philocleon: And indeed it seems likely that he will throw both at you and at me.
Philocleon: But stand here in these fetters as quickly as possible.
Philocleon: Take it, so that I may greet him in a youthful manner.
Philocleon: Such as this one [did] to me before the Mysteries.
Bdelucleon: O you, you, you stinking fellow and pig-trampler,
Bdelycleon: you seem to desire and long for a lovely corpse.
Bdelycleon: By Apollo, he will not do this by way of insult.
Philocleon: how sweetly you would eat justice from vinegar.
Bdelucléon: It is not a terrible thing to squeak at the flute-girl.
Bdelycles: stealing from the drinking companions?
Philocleon: Which flute-girl?
Philocleon: Why are you prattling like someone who has fallen from a tomb?
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, that is certainly your Dardanis.
Philocleon: No, but in the market-place he is burning incense to the gods.
Bdelucleon: Do you want this?
Philocleon: You are really angry. Don't you see that she is marked?
Bdelucleon: But what is this black thing in the middle of it?
Philocleon: The cake is surely coming out while it is burning.
Bdelycleon: But isn't that fellow behind him a fart?
Philocleon: This is the tip of the torch.
Bdelukleon: What are you saying? What kind of smell? Are you not coming here?
Philocleon: Ah ah, what are you waiting to do?
Bdelycleon: Take her by the hand and lead her away.
Bdelycleon: taking you away and thinking you were rotten
Bdelycleon: And he can do nothing.
Philokleon: Now listen to me.
Philocleon: When I was watching the Olympic Games,
Philocleon: You fought well in a pillow-fight with Ascondas.
Philocleon: already being old; then having struck with the fist
Philocleon: The older man knocked down the younger man.
Philokleon: In light of this, be careful not to suspect anything.
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, you have indeed learned the Olympic Games.
Bread-seller: Come here and stand by me, I beg you by the gods.
Baker: For this man is one who has ruined me.
Bread-seller: striking her with the torch, she threw it out from here.
Bread-seller: I'll take ten loaves for an obol and four for the deposit.
Bdelyclēon: Do you see what you have done? Now a matter and a lawsuit are required.
Bdelycleon: 'He has it because of your wine.'
Philocleon: Not at all, since
Philocleon: Right words will reconcile them.
Philocleon: So I know that I shall be reconciled in this way.
Bakery-woman: By the two goddesses, Myrtias will certainly not be insulted.
Artopolis: the daughter of the Ankylians and Sostratis,
Bread-seller: thus ruining my loads.
Philocleon: Listen, woman; I want to tell you a story.
Philocleon: Speak a charming thing.
Baker-woman: By Zeus, may I not be a honeycomb.
Philocleon: Walking from dinner in the evening, Aesop
Philocleon: A bold and drunken dog was barking.
Philocleon: And then that fellow said, 'O dog, dog,'
Philocleon: By Zeus, if instead of your bad tongue somewhere
Philocleon: Sell the wheat; you seem to me to be showing self-control.
Bread-seller: And you are mocking me? I summon you, whoever you are.
Baker: 'Regarding the damage to the loads, [I appeal] to the agoranomoi.'
Baker: Having as a summoner this Chairephon.
Philocleon: By Zeus, but listen, if I seem to you to say anything.
Philocleon: A lasso also once taught Simonides;
Philocleon: Since Lasus said it, I care little about it.
Bread-seller: Is this true?
Philokleon: and you too, Chairephon, say it to me.
Philocleon: seeming to summon a woman to a tomb,
Philocleon: [Hang it] on a donkey, hanging at the feet of Euripides.
Bdelycléon: Here comes another one, it seems.
Bdelycleon: I am calling you; for he certainly has the crier.
Prosecutor: Alas, woe is me! I summon you, old man.
Prosecutor: of hubris.
Bdelycleon: Of hubris? May he not, by the gods, call him to account!
Bdelycleon: for I will give a fine on his behalf to you.
Bdelycléon: Whichever you order, I shall also accept it with gratitude.
Philokleon: I will therefore reconcile him.
Philokleon: Voluntarily; for I admit that I struck and threw.
Philocleon: But come here. Do you entrust it to me,
Philocleon: whatever sum I must pay back for the affair
Philocleon: So is it a friend, or will you tell me?
Prosecutor: you speak. For I am in no need of trials or of affairs.
Philocleon: A Sybarite fell out of a cart,
Philocleon: and somehow the head has been shattered quite badly;
Philocleon: for he happened not to be a cloak-wearer of horsemen.
Philocleon: And then, standing up, he said, 'A man who is a friend to himself.'
Philocleon: Let each man practice the craft he knows.
Philocleon: And you too run past to Pittalus' house.
Bdelyclēon: So like these are your other ways.
Prosecutor: But indeed you yourself remember that he answered.
Philocleon: Listen, don't run away. Once in Sybaris a woman
Philocleon: He has crushed the hedgehog.
Prosecutor: These things I swear to.
Philocleon: Well then, having a fig, he gave testimony.
Philocleon: Then the Sybarite said, if indeed the girl
Philocleon: having left this testimony quickly
Philocleon: I bought a bandage, you would have had more sense.
Prosecutor: Stop your insolence until the one who initiates the trial calls it.
Bdelycleon: By Demeter, you certainly won't stay here any longer,
Bdeluclion: but taking you up, I shall carry you away —
Philocleon: What are you doing?
Bdelycleon: What am I doing?
Bdelukleon: I'll drag you inside from here; but if not, soon.
Bdeluclēon: The criers will run out of the so-called ones.
Philocleon: Aesop, the Delphians once—
Bdelycleon: I care little.
Philocleon: they accused a jar of having stolen from the god;
Philocleon: but he said to them, that the beetle once —
Bdelucleon: Alas, how I will destroy you with those dung-beetles.
Chorus: I certainly envy their good fortune.
Chorus: the old man whom he has seduced
Chorus: of dry manners and way of life;
Chorus: Now let us learn other things instead.
Chorus: Something great will surely happen.
Chorus: to that which is luxuriating and soft.
Chorus: Perhaps indeed perhaps he would not wish to.
Chorus: for it is difficult to stand apart.
Chorus: of nature, which one should always have.
Chorus: Yet many have suffered these things;
Chorus: agreeing with the opinions of others.
Chorus: They changed their ways.
Chorus: much praise from me
Chorus: and for those who think well.
Chorus: He who has obtained something goes away because of the
Chorus: love of country and wisdom
Chorus: the son of Philocleon.
Chorus: for to no one so easily
Chorus: I was born together, nor in habits
Chorus: I went mad, yet I was not poured out.
Chorus: For what, him arguing back,
Chorus: He was not better, wanting to
Chorus: the one who inflated you with more solemn words
Chorus: to adorn with things?
Xanthias: By Dionysus, we have a real problem!
Xanthias: some god has come round into the house.
Xanthias: for the old man, as he drank after a long time,
Xanthias: He heard the flute-playing, and was overjoyed at the matter.
Xanthias: dancing all night he ceases nothing.
Xanthias: those things for which Thespis competed;
Xanthias: and he says that he will show the tragedians to be Cronuses.
Xanthias: having led the dance a little while later.
Philocleon: Who is knocking on the courtyard doors?
Xanthias: This evil is now making its way.
Philocleon: Let these bolts be broken. And indeed, for
Philocleon: the beginning of the pattern —
Xanthias: rather, perhaps it is the beginning of madness.
Philocleon: bending his side with strength;
Philocleon: What a snout is snorting and
Philocleon: My spine hurts.
Xanthias: drink hellebore.
Philocleon: Frinichus flaps [his wings] like a rooster—
Xanthias: You will soon be struck.
Philocleon: kicking with his heavenly leg.
Philocleon: the anus is gaping.
Xanthias: look after yourself.
Philocleon: For now in our joints
Philocleon: the cup turns loosely.
Philocleon: Not well?
Bdelycleon: By Zeus, not at all, but mad things.
Philocleon: Now, give me the word and I will call the opponents as well.
Philocleon: if any tragedian says that he dances well,
Philocleon: Let him come in here to dance a measure for me.
Philocleon: Does someone say it, or no one?
Xanthias: Only one of those over there.
Philocleon: Who is this wretch?
Xanthias: son of Karkinos
Xanthias: the inside.
Philocleon: But this one will be swallowed up;
Philocleon: For I shall destroy him with the smoothness of a club.
Philocleon: For there is nothing in the rhythm.
Xanthias: But, you wretch
Xanthias: Another tragic poet, a Cratinite, is coming,
Xanthias: his brother.
Philocleon: By Zeus, then he has been bribed.
Xanthias: By Zeus, nothing else but crabs.
Xanthias: for another of Cratinus is approaching again.
Philocleon: What was this that was creeping up? A wasp or a hornet?
Xanthias: This drinking-cup is of this kind,
Xanthias: the smallest one, who makes the tragedy.
Philocleon: O Crab, O blessed in the excellence of your children,
Philocleon: How many lentils have fallen!
Philocleon: But I must go down against them; woe is me,
Philocleon: Grind salt for these, if I hold sway.
Chorus: Come now, let us all grant them a little concession,
Chorus: So that they may whirl themselves about in front of us in peace.
Chorus: Come now, great-souled children
Chorus: of the sea god,
Chorus: jump along the sand
Chorus: and to tread upon the unharvested sea,
Chorus: brothers of the prawns;
Chorus: Run with a swift foot in a circle!
Chorus: and the Phrynichus play
Chorus: Let someone snap his fingers, so that
Chorus: Having seen the leg above, they will smell it.
Chorus: the spectators.
Chorus: whirl, advance in a circle and make your belly fat,
Chorus: Throw a celestial leg; let the beetles come to life.
Chorus: For even the lord who rules the sea, the father himself, approaches.
Chorus: rejoicing over his own sons, the trierarchs.
Chorus: But bring him out, if you like dancing, outside.
Chorus: Quickly, us; for no one before this has done this,
Chorus: whoever has relieved the chorus of satyrs while dancing.