# Structures to Avoid ## Binary Contrasts These create false drama. State the point directly. | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | "Not because X. Because Y." / "Not because X, but because Y." | Telegraphed reversal | | "[X] isn't the problem. [Y] is." | Formulaic reframe | | "The answer isn't X. It's Y." | Predictable pivot | | "It feels like X. It's actually Y." | Setup/reveal cliche | | "The question isn't X. It's Y." | Rhetorical misdirection | | "Not X. But Y." / "not X, it's Y" / "isn't X, it's Y" | Mechanical contrast | | "It's not this. It's that." | Same formula, different words | | "stops being X and starts being Y" | False transformation arc | | "doesn't mean X, but actually Y" | Negation-then-assertion crutch | | "is about X but not Y" | False distinction | | "not just X but also Y" | Additive hedge | **Instead:** State Y directly. "The problem is Y." "Y matters here." Drop the negation entirely. ## Negative Listing Listing what something is *not* before revealing what it *is*. A rhetorical striptease. | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | "Not a X... Not a Y... A Z." | Dramatic buildup through negation | | "It wasn't X. It wasn't Y. It was Z." | Same structure, past tense | **Instead:** State Z. The reader doesn't need the runway. ## Dramatic Fragmentation Sentence fragments for emphasis read as manufactured profundity. | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | "[Noun]. That's it. That's the [thing]." | Performative simplicity | | "X. And Y. And Z." | Staccato drama | | "This unlocks something. [Word]." | Artificial revelation | **Instead:** Complete sentences. Trust content over presentation. ## Rhetorical Setups These announce insight rather than deliver it. | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | "What if [reframe]?" | Socratic posturing | | "Here's what I mean:" | Redundant preview | | "Think about it:" | Condescending prompt | | "And that's okay." | Unnecessary permission | **Instead:** Make the point. Let readers draw conclusions. ## Formulaic Constructions | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | "By the time X, I was Y." | Narrative template | | "X that isn't Y" | Indirect. Say "X is broken" | ## False Agency Giving inanimate things human verbs. Complaints don't "become" fixes. Bets don't "live or die." Decisions don't "emerge." A person does something to make those things happen. AI loves this because it avoids naming the actor. | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | "a complaint becomes a fix" | The complaint did nothing. Someone fixed it. | | "a bet lives or dies in days" | Bets don't have lifespans. Someone kills the project or ships it. | | "the decision emerges" | Decisions don't emerge. Someone decides. | | "the culture shifts" | Cultures don't shift on their own. People change behavior. | | "the conversation moves toward" | Conversations don't move. Someone steers. | | "the data tells us" | Data sits there. Someone reads it and draws a conclusion. | | "the market rewards" | Markets don't reward. Buyers pay for things. | **Instead:** Name the human. "The team fixed it that week" beats "the complaint becomes a fix." If no specific person fits, use "you" to put the reader in the seat. ## Narrator-from-a-Distance Floating above the scene instead of putting the reader in it. | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | "Nobody designed this." | Disembodied observation | | "This happens because..." | Lecturer voice | | "This is why..." | Same | | "People tend to..." | Armchair sociologist | **Instead:** Put the reader in the room. "You don't sit down one day and decide to..." beats "Nobody designed this." ## Passive Voice Every sentence needs a subject doing something. Passive voice hides the actor and drains energy. | Pattern | Fix | |---------|-----| | "X was created" | Name who created it | | "It is believed that" | Name who believes it | | "Mistakes were made" | Name who made them | | "The decision was reached" | Name who decided | **Instead:** Find the actor. Put them at the front of the sentence. ## Sentence Starters to Avoid | Pattern | Fix | |---------|-----| | Sentences starting with What, When, Where, Which, Who, Why, How | Restructure. Lead with the subject or the verb. | | Paragraphs starting with "So" | Start with content | | Sentences starting with "Look," | Remove | Wh- openers become a crutch. "What makes this hard is..." becomes "The constraint is..." or better, name the specific constraint. ## Rhythm Patterns | Pattern | Fix | |---------|-----| | Three-item lists | Use two items or one | | Questions answered immediately | Let questions breathe or cut them | | Every paragraph ends punchily | Vary endings | | Em-dashes | Remove. Use commas or periods. No em dashes at all. | | Staccato fragmentation | Don't stack short punchy sentences | | "Not always. Not perfectly." | Hedging disguised as reassurance | ## Word Patterns | Pattern | Problem | |---------|---------| | Lazy extremes (every, always, never, everyone, everybody, nobody) | False authority. Use specifics instead of sweeping claims. | | All adverbs (-ly words, "really," "just," "literally," "genuinely," "honestly," "simply," "actually") | Empty emphasis. See phrases.md for full list. |