---
title: On Ownership
created: 2026-09-09
modified: 2026-09-09
authors: Eileen Gu
category: Essay
---
> I’ve long espoused a High Saturation Life, defined by my theory of Absolute Value Intensity. Allow me to update this framework from my current position in the backseat, on our way up the mountain.
>
> I will choose a lifetime of intensity over a lifetime of idleness on the principle that all potent experiences are Life and Living in their most unadulterated form, irrespective of positive/negative value ascription.
>
> I mean this less in the literal sense of endorsing a lifetime of torture, but rather an abjuration of a life well lived as defined by the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
>
> I want the lifeblood of every experience — ecstasy, despair, hope, fear, doubt, triumph.
>
> Now I understand what I truly mean is not a blind pursuit of intensity — “Vitality”, in the sacred sense I seek, would be a gross misnomer for hedonism — but rather a life of ownership.
>
> I do not eschew respite, but aimlessness. I do not spurn stillness, but stagnation.
>
> It is ownership I yearn for.
>
> If I do not own my failures, in the fullness of heartbreak and the limpidity of devastation, then I have no right to my victories.
>
> If I am to suffer, I will do so willingly, and with the knowledge and clarity
> that this is my life to experience in every dimension it can offer me.
>
> And when I seek pleasure, I will do so with the intentionality and respect life deserves.
>
> So yes, I can slow down. I just choose not to.
>
> And if I do, it’s on purpose.
