---
title: Feedback
created: 2024-11-18T09:18:12
modified: 2025-12-17T13:42:40
---

# On Giving Feedback

To give feedback, first make the other person feel you care about them.

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## Principles

1. Make it shorter.
2. Make it more appealing.
3. Make it general → “_How could it apply to more people?”_

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# Remember, the key to effective feedback is to make it:

1. **Timely:** Give feedback as close to the event as possible.
2. **Regular:** Don’t save up feedback; provide it consistently and periodically.
3. **Balanced:** Mix positive feedback with areas for development.
4. **Actionable:** Provide clear steps or guidance for improvement.
5. **Specific:** Be clear about what was done well or needs change.
6. **Empathetic:** Understand the recipient’s perspective and frame feedback with empathy.

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## Criticism Sandwich

* 善用「先稱讚，再建議」的順序：First praise the person for something, then deliver the criticism, and then close with topic-shifting praise to exit the sensitive topic.
	1. **Positive start:** Begin with positive feedback to open the conversation.
	2. **Constructive core:** Place the area for improvement in the middle.
	3. **Positive end:** Finish with positive reinforcement or encouragement.
* Example:

> **You:** Hi, Mara. Do you have a second?
>
> **Mara:** Sure. What’s up?
>
> **You:** _First, I wanted to thank you for_ helping me with the Meelie Worm account [or whatever]. _I really appreciate_ you showing me how to handle that. _You’re really good_ at fixing the technical issues.
>
> **Mara:** No problem.
>
> **You:** _Here’s the thing_. [^1] There is a lot of work coming down on everyone, and _I’m feeling_ [^2] a bit overwhelmed. _Normally, priorities are really clear to me_ ,[^3] but I’ve been having trouble recently figuring out which tasks are highest on the list. _Could you help me_ by pointing out the most important items when a handful need to be done? _I’m sure it’s just me, but I’d really appreciate it, and I think it would help._
>
> **Mara:** Uhh … I’ll see what I can do.
>
> **You:** _That means a lot to me. Thanks. Before I forget_ ,[^4] last week’s presentation was excellent.
>
> **Mara:** Did you think so? Blah, blah, blah …

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Instead of using the “criticism sandwich (criticize twice, praise once)” method, where criticism is sandwiched between two praises _within 30 seconds_, it is advised to provide two praises and one private criticism at different times _during the day or week_.

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## [The SBI Model](https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/closing-the-gap-between-intent-vs-impact-sbii/)

1. **Situation**: Describe _when_ and _where_ the behavior occurred. Be specific and factual.

	> Example: “In yesterday’s team meeting…”

2. **Behavior**: State exactly what the person did or said. Focus only on observable actions or words used. Avoid interpretations, assumptions, or labels.

	> Example: “…you interrupted Sarah while she was presenting.”

3. **Impact**: Explain the effect of that behavior on you, the team, or the outcome. This helps the person understand why it matters.

	> Example: “…which made it harder for her to finish/share her points/ideas and slowed the discussion.”

# On Receiving Feedback

When people hesitate to give you honest feedback, ask for a score from 0–10, instead of asking, “_What do you think?_”—which invites ambiguity. You’ll rarely get a perfect 10, and this makes it easy to follow up with, “_What would make this closer to a 10?_” Better questions lead to better feedback—and faster growth.

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避免抱持任何預設立場，永遠以「對方或許更接近真相」來思考（假設別人是對的，自己是錯的），甚至可以在對話/交流中這樣回應：

* 「我認為你觸及到核心問題了，請多說一些。」
* 「你的觀點似乎切中要害，能否再深入說明？」
* 「我覺得你點到關鍵了，可以再多分享一些嗎？」

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Don’t confuse DISAGREEMENT with DISRESPECT. Never confuse your [CRITICS](criticism.md) with your HATERS. Feedback can skyrocket your growth _if you don’t take it personally_.

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[Advice](advice.md)

[^1]: Don’t call it a “problem” if you can avoid it.
[^2]: No one can argue with your feelings, so use this to avoid a debate about external circumstances.
[^3]: Take “you” out of the sentence to avoid finger-pointing → ~~“Normally, you make priorities clear.”~~
[^4]: “Before I forget” is a great segue to the closing compliment, which is also a topic shifter and gets you off the sensitive topic without awkwardness.