Watching – I'm Not That Drunk

David Kirsch fitness boot camp DVD

admin — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 17:12:22 +0000

To be honest, until about 10 minutes ago I’d no idea who David Kirsch was. Turns out he’s a fitness trainer who’s responsible for making hot people look even hotter. In your case it’s likely that the old adage ‘you can’t polish a turd’ may well apply. It’s worth a shot though. Shove on this DVD and chow down on some popcorn. Er, I mean broccoli.

Top 5 Underrated Disney Movies

admin — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 02:47:16 +0000

It's not a photo-bomb if everyone does it

If you were born in 80s and your parents weren’t exceptionally elitist, you probably grew up watching enough Disney movies to permanently loosen your grasp on reality. Only us kids had the time and mental strength to traipse through every Disney movie that was around, often more than once, and so it’s fair to say that we knew them all. This is a list of the top five Disney movies that you probably watched, but they didn’t go on to make it into the vault with Walt.

5. The Fox and the Hound

This is it, the reason why all over the world families have woken up to find Fido chowing down on Felix, “But they were supposed to get along!”, and the heart of the fox hunting ban in England. The Fox and the Hound, the classic Bromance between two adorable animals. Who can forget the bathing scene?

4. The Brave Little Toaster

Overlooked and forgotten, much like the cute, talking kitchen appliance at the start of this film. ‘The Brave Little Toaster’ follows the little muffin-maker on a journey around the city looking for his master which finishes in a junkyard. It’s like Toy Story 3 but with more mundane characters and less crying. Still a classic in my book though.

3. Robin Hood

This is a Disney movie that begs the question, why are animals playing the parts of humans? Still, Fox-Robin plays a more convincing British guy than Kevin Costner and Fox-Marion is way sexier. By the far the best character, however, is the Tiger-Prince-John who’s crown is too big for him, loves his money and he regularly makes it rain.

2. The Emperor’s New Groove

More recent than the rest, if you haven’t seen it because you think you’ve grown out of Disney movies, think again, this film is amazing – if only for Kronk, a funnier and douchebaggier version of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. John Goodman does the voice of the peasant and the story is about an Emperor getting turned into a Llama. Come on.

1. The Rescuers Down Under

All the other Disney films are great, but The Rescuers Down Under surely wins. The sequel to the classic Disney film, about posh mice who help kids, throws said mice and a nervous albatross voiced by John Candy (RIP) into Australia – the land of barbecues and crude women. Fortunately, they avoid these attractions and instead help out a young boy trying to stop an overly narcissistic poacher and his pet lizard from killing a golden eagle. Outrageous Fun.

I’ve got love for you if you were born in the eighties

admin — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 01:13:20 +0000

There’s a good chance that if you’re browsing this website you were born in the 1980s. A lot happened in that decade. John Lennon was shot, the Berlin wall came down, Sega’s ‘Master System’ was released (as were the first two Terminator Films), and Elisha Cuthbert was gifted to the world. We think it’s the best decade in which to have been born. If you were, here are a few things that should bring back memories. Do it for old times’ sake…

Teenage mutant ninja turtles

Time for you and your friends to order in a load of pizzas, make yourself comfortable on the couch and enjoy some episodes of the TMNT. Adopted by the wise sensei Splinter, these radical dudes were taking down douches like Beebop, Rocksteady, Shredder and Krang before you’d even thought about April O’Neil in that way.

Reebok pumps

Remember these? Yeh, you could pump up your shoes with a little button on the front. Only the cool kids had them back in the 1980s, but now that mummy doesn’t buy your clothes anymore you can do whatever the hell you like. Get a pair.

Scared shitless

Who doesn’t remember ‘Goosebumps’, the scariest collection of horror stories since the Old Testament? This one’s a classic – you’ll never be able to take a photo again (ok, just humor me here).

Sodastream

Remember when your parents first bought a sodastream? Remember what crazy sodas you made with it? Problem was, they were (almost) always non-alcoholic. For under $100 you can get creative and experiment with things like lemon-ginger-raspberry cola or grapefruit-blackberry sparkling water. Then just shove a load of vodka in there and you’ll be set for the pre-game.

The land before time

Just before the 1980s there were dinosaurs walking the earth (ask your parents). ‘The land before time’ remains our most accurate depiction of these majestic beasts (yes, even more accurate than Jurassic Park). It’s also the most heart-wrenching movie you’ll ever see. Don’t be ashamed about crying into your popcorn.

Time you got me?

Tamagotchis were what everyone had before they were allowed real pets. And who wants real pets anyway? You have to buy them real food and clean up real shit. And you can’t just press the reset button when they die. Learn how to care for something other than yourself with an old school tamagotchi.

Like a virgin

Although Madonna may now be older, richer and more muscly than she was twenty five years ago, she doesn’t write better songs. The 1980s was her peak, with releases like ‘Material Girl’, ‘Dress You Up in My Love’, and ‘Into the Groove’. You’ll find them all on this album. Oh, and if you’re still a virgin, get some help from these pheromones.

Caligula on demand

admin — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 23:46:26 +0000

Caligula, 70s playboy film about sex and murder in Roman times available on digital download. If you think Helen Mirren’s hot now, 1. Call an ambulance, you’ve drunk way too much, 2. Check her out when she was actually hot – watch it now for $3.

Inspector Gadget DVD Collection

admin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 05:34:18 +0000

Forget Jason Bourne, James Bond and Jack Bauer. Here’s a guy who has a helicopter propeller in his HAT. Get up at 7am on Sunday, grab yourself a bowl of coco pops and watch until your mum/girlfriend threatens to confiscate the tv.

Thundercats HO!

admin — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 01:58:28 +0000

Thundercats HO! The best cartoon of all. Who can argue with a show that contains ninjas that look like cats fighting an immortal mummified badass, using legendary magic laser swords. It all makes perfect sense. Also Cheetara is hot.