WTF? – I'm Not That Drunk http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com The home of regrettable purchases Sat, 12 Sep 2015 17:21:01 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.4.14 Banana Suit http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/banana-suit/ Mon, 25 Jun 2012 13:39:36 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1926 Banana-Suit Banana-Suit banana banana
INTD are going to let you in on a little secret. A banana suit changes everything. For example;
You get too drunk, you’re obnoxious. You get too drunk in a banana suit, it’s hilarious.
More? You get into a fight? You’re an aggressive, dangerous thug. Banana suit? Hilarious.
Even more? You shit yourself? Disgustingly horrifying. You shit yourself in a banana suit, you’re the joker at the party. You literally can’t lose.
Check out this handy reference table by RedsClues over on reddit if you need further convincing.

]]> The Dad saddle http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/the-dad-saddle/ Tue, 01 May 2012 15:33:02 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1920 daddle-dad-saddle
You’ve got a kid? This is a no-brainer, what kid doesn’t want to ride their Pop-Pop around the house like a Ton-Ton in a suit that smells of whiskey and missed baseball games?
But let’s face it, you’re on a drunk shopping website – if you’ve got a kid you only get to see him on facebook. Get it anyway and you can get a whore to ride you in the local Super-8 – that’ll cheer you up.

]]> Incredible Dog Shirt http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/incredible-dog-shirt/ Mon, 09 Apr 2012 16:32:29 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1902 dogshirt dogshirt2

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]]> Gangsta rap coloring in book http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/gangsta-rap-coloring-in-book/ Fri, 23 Mar 2012 11:13:55 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1873 gangsta-rap-coloring-book 71MJVNG2dEL
48 pages of all your favorite Rap superheroes for you to color in, or get your kids to color, in as you see fit. Straight out of Crayon.
via ThisIsWhyImBroke.com

]]> Steering Wheel Desk http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/steering-wheel-desk/ Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:01:10 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1810 steeringwheeldesk carcrash1

Driving to work is boring. Apparently. I’ve never held a job long enough to drive to the office. However, my liquor store commute is now a thing of beauty. Goodbye shitty top 50 radio stations, hello laptop gaming. Driving down the interstate? Nope, you’re in Skyrim. On a horse.

As everyone knows, drinking seriously improves your driving. You go faster, you’re better at using the horn and shouting, and you feel more like a famous racing driver, like Ayrton Senna or Dale Earnhardt Jr. The trouble is that while cup holders work fine, there’s no place to mix a classic cocktail, like an Old Fashioned (Don Draper would approve) or a Mimosa (You are literally homosexual). Well don’t worry, now that your steering wheel is now a desk, you’ve got the perfect place to cut limes. Or coke. Happy trails.

]]> Accoutrements Undercap http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/accoutrements-undercap/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:07:22 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1767 518JnrD7JGL._AA300_ 41Bz4ieUX4L 21utNaxT2pL._SL500_AA300_ download images (1) OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA 1289874833_underwear-on-the-head
From the people who brought you handerpants comes the Undercap, for when you want to wear your underpants on your head – in style (or just to make your beanie warmer).
It’s debatable whether this will make you look attractive to the opposite sex, but I personally know-oh-too-well that a follow-through definitely does not. With the “Undercap”, you are always prepared for that-time-where-you-shit-yourself-on-the-metro-but-decide-to-stay-on-for-the-whole-loop-so-you-can-get-off-at-your-house-again-but-the-smell-starts-to-get-too-much-so-the-conductor-asks-you-to-leave-but-you-won’t-and-they-cancel-the-train-and-arrest-you.

]]> Emergency bra / gas mask http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/emergency-bra-gas-mask/ Fri, 27 Jan 2012 15:07:27 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1711 Screen shot 2012-01-27 at 3.04.13 PM Screen shot 2012-01-27 at 3.03.07 PM Screen shot 2012-01-27 at 3.02.55 PM Screen shot 2012-01-27 at 3.02.43 PM Screen shot 2012-01-27 at 3.02.34 PM Screen shot 2012-01-27 at 3.02.19 PM
We’ve all been there, out on a romantic date, things are going great, until the unwelcome third wheel of harmful airborne particles turn up, but guess what – you don’t have your respirator! If only your date sacrificed sexiness for safety and was wearing the E-Bra, you could rip it off, wrap it around your head and breath normally! Selfish bitch.
Here’s a quote from their website;

Because the Emergency Bra masks can be securely fixed to the head, it frees a survivor’s hands to keep balance while running and removing objects on the way out of danger. In certain situations, by providing the wearer with a sense of security and protection, the Emergency Bra can reduce the chance of panic attack.

I think we all can agree this is a lingerie revolution.

]]> Douche bag/enema http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/doucheenema/ Fri, 13 Jan 2012 12:52:49 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1628 hockey douches douche-tastic bendover man bent over woman in mud Even if you don’t use/touch them very often (which I do), it’s always a good idea to keep your genitals/butt nice and clean. I read somewhere that people who use enemas are more likely to get promoted at work. It’s also pretty fun to get your friends to wash you out with beer (ideally not at work).

]]> Handtrux arm shovels http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/handtrux-arm-shovels/ Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:28:26 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1581 img_handtrux_shovel Z0035914 HandTrux3_940x430 img_handtrux_shovel_4
If you want to feel like a badass on the beach, if you want to be that guy people are double-taking shoveling the shit (metaphor) out of a hole you are digging with your bionic arms, then look no further because those are some very specific desires.

]]> Lifesize bleeding zombie target http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/lifesize-bleeding-zombie-target/ Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:29:41 +0000 http://www.imnotthatdrunk.com/?p=1574 zombie zombie1 zombie2 zombie3
It’s 2012, we all know the apocalypse is coming but we’re divided on how – Meteor? Solar flares? Skynet? One thing’s for sure, it’s going to involve zombies. So where do you want to be when the gift horse hits the fan? On the menu next to the haagen dazs? Or fully trained, equipped and awesome at shooting the shit out of zombonos.
Like the real thing, these targets can take whatever you can throw at them, think how badass you’ll feel.

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