/**
* file: karbytes_20_july_2023.txt
* type: plain-text
* date: 20_JULY_2023
* author: karbytes
* license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN
*/

I noticed that other people don't seem to respect my preference to be left alone because they frequently follow me out into the remote places on the outskirts of the urban sprawl and they insist on making me pay attention by loitering in my peripheral vision and talking (which is why I am almost always listening to noise generator soundtracks via my headphones while using my laptop) to them and to get within three feet of me if that does not seem to work. It seems like all the women are required to live with a male guardian so that she can have a body guard to protect her from being intruded upon and raped. I think I come across as a bit gender ambiguous and macho (which I think helps to ward off sexual harassment). A lot of my time and energy is spent trying to not make a big fuss about what I am describing and doing my best to accomodate the invasive and disrespectful conduct of other humans while not allowing such people to coerce me into giving up too much of my life in order to accomodate their insatiable demands to be the center of attention and to take up so many finite resources that they necessarily have to inconvenience other people in order to continue enjoying things as lavishly as they do. I do not expect the people to adopt more ecologically or socially conscientuous behavior unless they are forced to against their will. I am about as "small" as I can stand but the people seem to demand that I shrink to an infinitesimally "small" size in terms of how many resources I consume and especially how many cognitive resources from the human population in general are directed towards me and my web based enterprise.

It could be that I am just fabricating a load of nonsense and these people are coicidentally trying to enjoy the same space I am. It is not rational for me to assume that I am the only person attempting to enjoy the outdoors. I will try to do a better job hiding during the day. At night it is much easier to avoid people because not very many people seem to be outside their houses at night. I do not want to make people feel forced to go where they do not want to go just to accomodate me (i.e. to give me personal space). I also understand that it is healthy to have a sense of community and to look after other people instead of to ignore them. For instance, if I or someone else sees a person in distress, it is morally correct to try to assist that person if necessary; to ask them if they need help and to call 911 if necessary. It is also morally correct to call 911 to report what looks like dangerous criminal behavior in order to protect people from getting hurt.

* * *

I asked my mom if she could transfer the money she usually transfers me between 12AM and 1AM early and she launched into a tirade saying that she is spending too much money on me and that one day I will find myself in a "weird situation" because she will have no more money to give me. She said that she might have to sell her house and, after her father dies, that she will have to take a job even though she is retired. She said I should stop working on my website and whatever other hobbies I have and focus on getting a job. She has made these kinds of threats before. I do not think that it has more to do with availability of funds than it does with her simply feeling jealous of me for having things to do other than watching television and having to be in a dysfunctional relationship with someone. I will do my best to avoid asking her for money for now on and to be more serious about getting a job (but I will try to go about it as non stressfully as possible and to not expect things to happen instantenously nor without some degree of difficulty, confusion, and disappointment).

* * *

Shortly after sunset I rode my bike back down to Castro Village to get some comfort munchies and proceeded to eat some of them under a tree. Then I pulled out my phone and noticed that my mom left a voicemail. I listened to it and she said she was sorry for being harsh with me earlier and that she would keep giving me money as long as she is able and that I am precious to her. I called back to let her know I got the message (for some reason I didn't hear my phone ring and it might of been because I didn't notice it above the wind rushing past my ears as I rapidly descended the long hill along Redwood Road from the intersection of Proctor Road to Seven Hills Road. My mom answered the phone and said that she and my dad were at the movie theater waiting for the movie to start before the beginning advertisements. I asked whether the movie was Barbie or Oppenheimer. She said it was Oppenheimer. That's cool. After that I saw that the Starbucks on the south west corner of Castro Village was open for 15 more minutes. So I rode my bike over and was able to get a coffee ten minutes before closing. The only customer remaining was some young Indian guy on his laptop with notepads and other items sprawled out around his "desk" space.

I also read exciting news in an email announcement from Zide Door church (which is where I started buying magic mushrooms and very cost effective weed in mid 2022 (and there it has a church in Oakland and a church in San Francisco)) saying that it will soon be selling DMT vape pens and cartridges. It looks like my dreams are coming true! 

A yellowish crescent moon shines and is positioned above the glowing city lights to the west in the midst of a deep indigo sky which is still slightly illuminated from the sun. The air temperature is summery warm with a cooling breeze.

* * *

Earlier today I added a new image post to my Instagram and image upload to this GitHub reposotory using the image file named karbytes_20_july_2023.txt. It is one of my favorite selfies of karbytes so far. I plan on taking another epic selfie of karbytes closer to Halloween 2023 with some kind of costume on.