/** 
 * file: karbytes_05_may_2024.txt
 * type: plain-text
 * date: 05_MAY_2024
 * author: karbytes
 * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN
 */

Yesterday in the late afternoon I decided to go for a hike up Ramage Peak trail. It had rained for most of the day prior to that point in time, but just as the weather prediction applications predicted, it was sunny with some cumulus clouds for several days after that brief period of rainfall. 

When I got to the highest altitude point of that trail, I decided to vape the tepid remnants of the DMT liquid remaining in the DMT pen which I bought in the winter of 2023 to bring out the beautiful "golden hour" color saturation and shadow-etched contours of contrast in the vast expanse of hills around me. I saw a herd of black cows peppering the nearby green hill north of where I was standing and, on the hill north of that, a herd of white sheep or goats. The sun was setting amidst the San Francisco city skyline and casting a slight pinkish glow on the cumulus clouds which were slowly passing through the sky on all sides of me from west to east. I could see the lights of Newark and other parts of the Bay Area rimming the bay starting to glisten. I felt an increase in mental clarity and an increase in my happiness and sense of relaxation of tension in my body which I had been holding onto until that point. The feelings the DMT (and cannabis) induced in me were subtle yet profound. I felt more aligned with my sense of purpose and compelled to have some more fun by exploring a part of the trail I had never been to before (even though the day was fading into night and I had an undeniable fear of mountain lions (but not enough fear to seriously deter me from giving into my impulse for adventuring)).

(To see screenshot images of the portion of Ramage Peak trail which I hiked and vaped cannabis and DMT at yesterday (and I did those things specifically at the labeled "point" on the Google Earth map of Ramage Peak trail) as depicted by Google Earth, see the web page of my blog at the following Uniform Resource Locator: https://karbytesforlifeblog.wordpress.com/map_of_karbytes_home_environment/ )

I had a marvelous but scary trip through the dark and slippery realm northeast of the lookout point I was standing at. I amused myself and attempted to ward off predators by death metal growling and shouting. I was having unusually philosophical thoughts without as much of the usual baggage related to being in more urban settings. 

Perhaps the most profound realization I had (though not particularly surprising nor intellectually sophisticated) while in that dark part of the wooded and hilly trail was that I should not assume that I personally matter to most humans (especially those who are not close family members) and that I should, hence, "as a man" proving his readiness to bare the burden of his own death, injuries, or mistakes, be glad and willing to venture boldly alone without assuming that emergency responders were on perpetual standby just to rescue me from my own excesses. That realization and coming to terms with my own deep thirst for solitary ventures and personal responsibility seemed to lighten my sense of impending doom. As an initiated man, I no longer feel that my existence as a human individual is a significant burden to any other human (nor even to any other mammal, bird, or earthly creature with a complex enough nervous system to have what I consider to be sufficiently similar to my own). Speaking of earthly creatures, I was delighted to see a reddish orange salamander watching me from the vantage of a rock while we were both located at the trail peak. It turned its head to look directly at me before crawling off into the grasses.

Later on that evening, I found a place I thought was safe to camp at near Lake Chabot and spent some time relaxing beneath the starry night sky and beholding the thoughts emerging from my mind. I had the sobering realization that I was the only guaranteed keeper of my own first-person continuity of consciousness and its respective bank of memories. I thought that, without my memories, I am merely an animal without much of an identity nor sense of cultural or social affiliation. I thought about how I was only being paid by the modest donations my mom sent me regularly through PayPal (and anyone can apparently donate money to me via the PayPal link in the DONATION_PORTAL section of the home page of each one of my two websites (which are named Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com and Karbytes For Life Blog dot WordPress dot Com)) and, without that financial support, I would be forced to depend solely on services for the homeless and destitute (at least while I am unemployed).

I am not in as much of a rush as I used to be about getting a job because (a) I expect more of the kinds of jobs I am willing and able to do to be more abundant closer to the end of the year and (b) I think that my "enemies" (whether real or imagined) want to bait-and-switch me with jobs and related situations which ultimately cause me more damage and disgruntlement than healing and satisfaction. I think I serve humanity better by minding my own unique business as a modern philosopher and steward of Earth's biosphere. I think that me simply following my own deeply felt convictions (which are intrinsic desires and not mere virtue signaling) is more effective at inspiring other humans to also be more conscientious stewards of the biosphere than is my shrill and spiteful ranting and preaching (though my desire to spend lots of time in the wilderness and on the Internet immersed in my research and development interests is something I would eagerly do regularly even if I was the only person I knew who approved of me doing such things while everyone else seems to me to be a lot less interested in saving the environment from being further polluted, dilapidated, and commodified by human greed, apathy, and pettiness). 

Maybe I will eventually just "settle for" working entirely remotely. At this time, I plan to get an on-site or hybrid remote and on-site job as soon as feasible positions are posted on Indeed dot Com and other job boards. More importantly, I intend to always keep furthering my studies in philosophy, natural sciences, and computer science.